SCENE 1
EXT. JAMES'S HOUSE, DAY 0 — JUST PAST MIDNIGHT
Establishing shot of JAMES's house in a quiet Canadian neighbourhood.
SCENE 2
INT. BATHROOM, JAMES'S HOUSE, DAY 0 — JUST PAST MIDNIGHT
JAMES LEWELL a.k.a. NITRO RAD is in his bathroom, wearing pajamas and drying his face in front of the mirror. Someone pounds on the door.
BRADY
(excitedly)
James. James. Open up. I did it! I did it!
JAMES
You're done with the game?
BRADY
YES!!!
SCENE 3
INT. JAMES'S ROOM, DAY 0 — JUST PAST MIDNIGHT
JAMES enters his room.
BRADY is sitting at a desk. He makes a ta-dah gesture at the computer.
BRADY
Operation "Save Yourselves!" is complete!
A leaflet with the title "Best Youtuber Game Awards" is seen on the desk.
BRADY (O.S.)
B.Y.G.A., we're winning this thing!
BACK TO BRADY.
BRADY
"By gamers, for gamers!"
JAMES
(anxious)
Okay, Brady, good job and all that, but between you and me, I'm STILL not too sure about this game. I mean, what if WE die in it? What if someone else plays the game and THEY die in it? What if the judges and the cops find out we've made a game where people can DIE? We'd be banned from making games FOREVER!
BRADY turns to JAMES.
BRADY
It's a bit too late to be worrying about all that now, isn't it?
JAMES
Y-yeah, but–
BRADY
All you have to do is present the game tomorrow. Just talk about it, and DON'T tell anyone they'll die. Make it like a normal game. And we'll be fine, James. As THE programmers, the game should cut us some slack.
JAMES
W-what if it doesn't?
BRADY
James. It KNOWS our names. We PROGRAMMED them into it. It knows WE programmed it.
JAMES
(sarcastic)
Huh. Wow. Think our game will score points for "self-awareness"?
BRADY
Pfft. You're funny, James. You're funny.
JAMES
So we're still going with "Team Creators" as our team name?
BRADY
Yup. It's not the most unique name, but it's simple, straight-to-the-point, and implies that we are creative and innovative! I like that.
JAMES
Caddy is still calling us "CaddiCadets", though.
BRADY
He can call us whatever he wants. But to name a team after their leader just seems…… rather authoritarian, if you ask me. It's like if we named our country Justin Trudeau from years ago.
JAMES
(shrugs)
I'm cool with "Team Creators". As long as we've settled on SOMETHING. So have you submitted the game?
BRADY
Soon. Just let me copy everything into a hard drive and then we can bring it to the contest tomorrow.
JAMES looks at the clock on his wall.
JAMES
Today is ALREADY tomorrow.
BRADY
Huh?
(looks at watch)
Oh.
JAMES yawns and stretches.
JAMES
(sleepily)
I'm calling it a day, Brady. You should, too.
BRADY
Yeah, yeah, alright.
JAMES climbs into his bed and switches off his nightlight.
Eventually BRADY finishes copying his work. He unplugs the hard drive and turns off his computer. He turns to his best friend sleeping.
BRADY
(sweetly)
G'night, James.
JAMES
(sleepily)
G'night, Brady.
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 4
EXT. COFFEE SHOP, DAY 0 — LATE MORNING
We are at a streetside coffee shop with umbrellas over their tables. PAN LEFT to see LYNN chugging down the last of her coffee at a table.
LYNN puts her cup down and rushes to the Gaming Center. The place has been buzzing with activity since pandemic restrictions were lifted.
SCENE 5
INT. GAMING CENTER, DAY 0 — LATE MORNING
PAN DOWN a "Best Youtuber Game Awards (B.Y.G.A.)" banner as LYNN follows the crowd into the building.
LYNN pulls out a brochure and we see the words "Team Creators" double-underlined. Underneath are the names of six Youtubers: BRUTALMOOSE, CADDICARUS, NITRO RAD (JAMES and BRADY), ANTDUDE, PEANUTBUTTERGAMER and SCARFULHU. LYNN excitedly rushes into a dark auditorium where people are already seated.
SCENE 6
INT. GAMING CENTER AUDITORIUM, DAY 0 — NOON
BRADY (O.S.)
(presenting)
……fight sharks in Hawaii. Swim with the jellyfish in the Caribbean. Face pirates at sea. Bust ghosts in a haunted house. Deal with teenagers and peer pressure at school……
LYNN enters the room and takes a seat in the back, as unnoticeably as possible. The seven Youtubers are all seated on stools in a line onstage. LYNN pulls out her notebook and pen and starts taking notes.
BRADY
(presenting)
Go through ANY real-world fear or hazard in ANY setting or location you choose. Your pick!
BRADY passes the mic to JAMES and takes a seat.
JAMES/NITRO RAD
(charismatically)
Alright, now that we've introduced our game, are y'all ready to–
(fake panic)
–"SAVE YOURSELVES"?!
The audience scream-cheers and the auditorium shakes. LYNN clutches her notebook tightly.
JAMES
Hahaha. I LOVE it when my audience shows me THIS kind of enthusiasm towards whatever I'm working on. I–
ANTDUDE, who is sitting on a stool behind JAMES, kicks JAMES lightly on the back leg.
JAMES
Sorry, whatever WE are working on.
(clears throat)
ANTDUDE looks satisfied.
JAMES
(seriously)
Keep in mind, though, that if you die or get hurt in this game, you die or get hurt in real life. So PLEASE make sure you have your health AND life insurance.
BRADY shoots JAMES a warning look. JAMES grins.
JAMES
(reassuringly)
Just kidding. It takes more than a dire warning of mortal peril to ruffle the feathers of our generation of gamers, ISN'T THAT RIGHT?
The audience shouts in agreement.
ANTDUDE grabs the mic from JAMES.
ANTDUDE
Okay, y'all wanna get hyped up for James's game idea? Fine by me. But just a kind reminder: the ONLY way to not just get out of, but WIN the game, is to have AT LEAST ONE PLAYER — ONE SURVIVOR — still alive at the end of 30 days. Or defeat ALL your enemies, your fears, that will plague you for the full 30 days. And you can't try to cheat and quit the game before the month is up 'cause you'll die instantly-
JAMES looks at ANTDUDE.
ANTDUDE
-I mean, you will be eliminated from your team.
An awkward silence.
JAMES
(sotto voce)
Anthony, Brady already said that part.
ANTDUDE
(sotto voce)
I'm just kindly reminding our audience what not to do, okay? They're gonna need it.
ANTDUDE looks at JAMES smugly. JAMES grabs the mic off his hands and hands it to PEANUTBUTTERGAMER.
PBG
(stands up)
But that's not all, folks. We promise you that your thirty-day trial in "Save Yourselves" will NOT be a total hellhole. You'll have a home to live in, wherever you'll be. Treat it well and it'll treat you well, too.
(cues CADDICARUS)
Caddy?
CADDY takes the mic. PBG sits down.
CADDY
(enthusiastically)
Your home will fit in perfectly with your surroundings! In space, you'll live in a spaceship. In the forest, you'll get a log cabin; and in the jungle or forest, you get a treehouse. Try a lovely seaside refuge on the beach or a haunted house on a haunted island. That place will be your resting place… in a non-morbid sense, hopefully.
BRUTALMOOSE, or IAN, takes the mic and clears his throat.
IAN
Want to know more about your refuge? Let me help you there. It is all as REAL as your fears will be. The rooms are real, the beds are real, the showers are real, the furniture is real, the lights are real, the windows and walls and roofs are real… Heck, even the chimneys and the doors are real. And let's not forget the fridges!
CADDICARUS slides in front of BRUTALMOOSE, blocking the audience's view of him.
CADDY
And there's enough food in the fridge to last just the RIGHT number of players in a team. Be sure to ration it well! As kind programmers, we've thought it ALL out for you beforehand.
IAN
(sotto voce)
Yeah, "WE" did……
The audience laughs. CADDY sits back down.
IAN
So you've basically got EVERYTHING you need to survive for a month in that house. "Save Yourselves!" allows you two options: to fight your demons head-on, or to sit tight in your refuge the whole time, lock your doors, and not set foot outside. The fate of your team depends on your choice. Choose wisely.
(winks)
IAN passes the mic to SCARFULHU, the final member of Team Creators.
SCARFULHU
(sullenly)
That's an easy choice, actually, if I were you. Just quarantine yourselves for the whole month inside your home. Shut the windows, shut the doors, cover all openings, do NOT leave, and keep your distance from the monsters outside — EXACTLY what all of us had to do for, like, two years already, in real life.
The audience gets it and groans and hisses at SCARFULHU. IAN takes the mic and makes a "nah" gesture.
IAN
Scarfie! We're here to talk about video games, not a global virus that kills everything it touches. Pfft.
SCARFULHU makes a "hmph" face.
IAN (O.S.)
(to audience)
Concerns, am I right?
BACK TO IAN:
IAN
So, I leave this to my fellow Creator teammate to carry on with the show.
(hands mic to JAMES)
JAMES
(stands up again)
Thank you, Ian. So, whaddya say we get started, huh?
(straightens his sleeves)
Lemme just pick a volunteer……
JAMES scans the back rows of the auditorium and spots LYNN scribbling madly in her notebook.
JAMES
(points)
You there, girl with the neon pink notebook. You just joined us, did ya?
LYNN jumps like she's just been shot and drops her stationery. She freezes.
JAMES
(kindly)
Miss, can you tell me what's your worst fear?
LYNN struggles to find the words.
LYNN
(squeaks)
D-Dogs!
JAMES
Sorry, what was that?
BRADY leans over to his best friend.
BRADY
(sotto voce)
I think she said "dogs".
JAMES
"Dogs"?
(clarifying)
Dogs? Okay, dogs.
CADDICARUS
(to LYNN, jokingly)
Is it because they bark, bite, or both?
The audience laughs. LYNN looks away, blushing red-hot.
IAN
(nudges CADDY)
Caddy, don't.
JAMES
Okay, lemme just open my laptop……
JAMES enters the word "dog" in the code of the game.
JAMES
Okay, so, now we have to fight and survive DOGS in our game. THAT's our fear. And where will we be fighting them?
RANDOM AUDIENCE MEMBER
SPACE!
JAMES
Space, yes. The only place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism, according to Tim Curry.
BRADY
(lifts a finger)
Until Elon Musk.
JAMES
(repeating)
Until Elon Musk.
Audience laughs.
JAMES
So now we'll be facing a dog in space. A SPACE DOG, if we may?
(points at LYNN)
Girl, you doing okay there?
LYNN nods timidly at the Youtubers, hoping they won't ask her to join them.
JAMES
(to the audience)
Alright. So if you're gonna wish us Survivors luck at the last minute, please proceed to the Simulation Room down the hall, just left past this auditorium.
The audience gets up and leaves for the Simulation Room, chattering. LYNN checks that her favorite necklace is still around her neck, and follows everyone out of the auditorium.
SCENE 7
INT. HALLWAY TO THE SIMULATION ROOM, DAY 0 — AFTERNOON
The Youtubers, followed by LYNN and the audience, head towards the Simulation Room where game simulations take place. LYNN looks around for a toilet.
SCENE 8
INT. SIMULATION ROOM, DAY 0 — AFTERNOON
The Youtubers move to the front of the room and face the audience.
JAMES
Alright. Look around you, folks. Look around you. What does this place look like?
RANDOM AUDIENCE MEMBER
Uhhhh, a room?
JAMES
(points)
Yes, you're right. Right now this place looks like just an ordinary room. But with a push of this button–
(opens a plastic cover covering a button)
–this WHOLE place is going to morph into a spaceship. All seven of us will be living in that spaceship for a month.
Audience goes "ooooooh".
SCENE 9
INT. HALLWAY TO THE SIMULATION ROOM, DAY 0 — AFTERNOON
LYNN finds the toilets and enters the women's cubicle.
JAMES (O.S.)
Seven dudes, 30 days. Wish us–
SCENE 10
INT. SIMULATION ROOM, DAY 0 — AFTERNOON
JAMES
–the BEST of survival luck, folks!
The audience cheers for Team Creators.
CADDY
So all of you NON-CaddiCadets, please leave this room, RIGHT NOW. I'm saving the last spot for Cadet Bandicoot.
People start shuffling out of the room. A lot of them look quite relieved.
BRADY
(hollering)
Come back in a month if you want a turn!
ANTDUDE connects some wires together and a screen comes on.
ANTDUDE
Alright. The game is booting up now. One hit of a button and we're in!
IAN
Wait, wait, wait!
(holds up phone)
We oughta take a group selfie first. A groupie! Everyone get behind me!
As the last of the audience leaves the room, LYNN enters. She looks confusedly at the people leaving.
LYNN sees the mess of tissue paper and soda cans lying around and makes a face. She HATES clutter. She bends down and starts cleaning.
IAN
(clicks phone)
Another shot!
(clicks)
Okay now, Brady. Start the game!
BRADY pushes the big red button. The game's loading screen comes up and starts loading. The computer hums as the game loads.
The Youtubers keep taking their pictures while LYNN continues her spontaneous cleaning duty. She separates the trash and tosses them into recycling bins outside the room.
PBG
(holding a smile)
Hurry up, Moose. My cheeks are starting to hurt.
ANTDUDE
(looks at loading screen)
We're halfway there!
The game's humming sound gets louder and louder. LYNN comes back in and looks around, unsure what is going on.
ANTDUDE
(checks game status)
Almost done……
PBG
(excitedly)
We should totally get a shot RIGHT before the room changes!
The Youtubers are having too much fun to notice a confused LYNN, who is glancing worriedly at them.
The humming sound suddenly stops. A loud "BEEP" is heard.
BRADY
(excitedly)
Aaaaaand it's happening!
The whole scene WHITES OUT as the Simulation Room starts transforming, with LYNN still in it.
DISSOLVE TO:
SCENE 11
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 1 — AFTERNOON
The walls of the simulation room disappear. In its place, a spaceship's main control room sets in. The eight players take in their new setting. They all look excited, except for LYNN.
SCARFULHU
(awestruck)
It worked!
JAMES
Uhhhh, yeah, but,
(looks at LYNN)
it looks like we have someone with us.
Everyone follows JAMES's eyes to LYNN, standing at a far corner, trembling.
CADDICARUS
Oh, it's you.
(approaches LYNN)
Hi. Hello there. Uh, welcome aboard our ship, I guess. Let's hope no… Spindly Johnny or alien DOG gets to you first.
LYNN faints.
IAN
(shocked)
CADDY!
A beat.
CADDICARUS
Oops.
CADDY covers his mouth.
CADDICARUS
(embarrassed)
I… I was just trying to make her feel welcome. I didn't mean to say "Spindly Johnny"...
IAN facepalms.
CADDICARUS
But we'll protect her, right? We're "Team Creators". We'll protect her, right?
IAN
Stop shouting and help me carry her to a bedroom.
IAN bends down and lifts LYNN up by the head. CADDY picks her up by the feet.
PBG
Which bedroom do we put her in?
IAN
Just follow me, I know one.
IAN and CADDY shuffle LYNN carefully out of the control room. The rest follow.
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 12
INT. LYNN'S BEDROOM, DAY 1 — EVENING
FADE IN: LYNN awakens on a bed in a dark room. Her belongings are on a night stand next to her bed. She rubs her eyes and takes in her blurry surroundings. She's still in the spaceship. She groans despairingly and clutches at the bedsheets.
LYNN touches the necklace on her chest and draws some strength from it. She gets out of bed, grabs a bolster for comfort, and leaves the room.
SCENE 13
INT. SPACESHIP HALLWAYS, DAY 1 — EVENING
Clutching her bolster tight, LYNN walks down the dark, quiet spaceship hallways. She keeps moving towards the men's voices. She stops at a door that has some light emitting from under it.
SCENE 14
INT. RECREATION ROOM, DAY 1 — EVENING
On a couch in a living room setting, JAMES (NITRO RAD) punches away on the Playstation console, surrounded by his Youtuber friends.
JAMES
(relaxedly)
…… but it's just a dog, right? A… NORMAL-sized dog? How big can a dog get? How BAD a problem can it get?
PBG thinks.
PBG
Ya sure it's just ONE dog?
JAMES
JUST ONE. I typed just D-O-G, no S, into the code, and then–
LYNN pushes open the door. The men stare at her.
SCARFULHU
(friendly)
Uh…… hi. You're awake. Are you okay?
LYNN waves a small "hi" with just her fingers.
JAMES
(concerned)
Do you need anything?
LYNN shakes her head, not knowing what she needs.
ANTDUDE
(trying not to be rude)
Uh, okay. So, can we get back to playing? (shuffles cards)
You can join us if you want…… girl. Person. We're playing.
NITRO nudges ANTDUDE.
ANTDUDE
What? I'm trying to be nice! And people complain that chivalry is dead–
LYNN raises an eyebrow.
JAMES
(to ANTDUDE)
Ask her for her NAME then, gentleman!
PBG asks first.
PBG
Ah, what's your name, miss?
Clutching her bolster tight in one hand, LYNN signs the letters of her name with her other hand: L-Y-N-N. She pauses in between each letter for clarity.
A long, awkward pause.
JAMES
Uhhhhh, s-sorry. We didn't get that. Can you try that again?
Once again, LYNN signs her name, pausing longer in between each letter.
PBG
(looking around)
Uh, does anyone here know sign language?
BRADY
Wait, I think we've got a chart. Let me see.
BRADY gets up and starts opening some drawers in the room.
IAN
A chart, like, a chart of the letters?
BRADY
Yeah. James and I programmed the game to have, like, resources for disabled players, so we've got sign language somewhere. Yay, inclusivity!
(to NITRO RAD)
James, we're using the American version, right?
JAMES
Yeah, American. It's so much simpler than the British one - we only need one hand when signing the letters.
BRADY
(agreeing)
Mm-hmm.
CADDICARUS
(contempt)
Hmph.
BRADY
Sorry, Caddy. But we have our preferences.
CADDY tries not to look offended, but he is.
BRADY
Ah-ha, here it is!
BRADY pulls the chart out.
BRADY
The American Sign Language Alphabet, fully coloured and laminated! Just what we need.
BRADY lays the chart on the table in the middle of the room.
SCARFULHU
Okay, girl. Can you sign your name again for us, please? You are……?
LYNN signs more confidently this time. The men pay close attention. They look at LYNN and the chart alternatingly.
PBG
(points)
That's an L. It looks like one.
CADDY
Y… That's a Y…
SCARFULHU
L, Y, and then something, something… The last two letters are the same, I know this.
IAN
N… N. L-Y-N-N. L-Y-N-N!
(excitedly)
LYNN! We got her name, it's LYNN!
Everyone waves at LYNN enthusiastically and says "Hi, LYNN!"
LYNN blushes. She waves back.
BRADY
So, Lynn. Welcome to the team. Team Creators! What DO you do for a living?
LYNN makes a writing motion with an imaginary pen, using her other hand as "paper".
BRADY
You-you write? You're a WRITER, who writes stuff?
JAMES
(to BRADY)
She had a notebook with her.
LYNN nods, suddenly missing her notebook.
IAN
We should have programmed notebooks in each room to, like, write or draw anything, in the game.
PBG
Only NERDS like you use notebooks, Ian.
(to LYNN)
No offense, Lynn.
(back to IAN)
WE use phones and take pictures.
IAN
(contemptuous)
Hmph.
CADDY gets up and approaches LYNN.
CADDY
(gets up, chivalrously)
Hey, Lynn, uh, sorry about the dog thing just now.
(extends a hand)
Will you forgive me?
LYNN accepts the handshake.
ANTDUDE
(concerned)
Uhhh, Caddy, didn't we promise to NOT say the D-word around her?
CADDY
(to ANTDUDE)
It's the Great Villain that we have to defeat. How CAN we not talk about it?
(to LYNN, promising)
Don't worry, Lynn. We'll protect you. From whatever's out there.
LYNN nods thankfully.
CADDY
Okay, then.
(turning around)
So how about a game? We got lots of games here in this spaceship.
PBG
We're gonna play a game IN a game? Cool!
CADDY
Yep. Charades? Tic-tac-toe? Snakes N' Ladders? Chess?
IAN
Chess.
CADDY
(ignoring IAN)
Hangman? Battleship? Twister? Monopoly? UNO?
IAN
(decisively)
Lynn, let's play chess.
(motions for LYNN to come over)
LYNN carefully makes her way to IAN and plops herself down across the table to him.
IAN
I'm gonna find us a chess set.
(pushes CADDY)
Move over, Cads.
CADDY looks at his rival, then at LYNN as if pitying her for being forced to play against him. LYNN happily ignores CADDY.
MONTAGE: Team Creators play various games with each other in the Rec Room. LYNN and IAN play chess. IAN goes "noooo!" every time a piece of his army is collected from the board. Finally, LYNN defeats his king and claims it.
IAN
(impressed)
You're good at strategy, Lynn. I'll give you that.
SCENE 15
INT. IAN'S BEDROOM, DAY 1 — NIGHT
IAN brushes his damn hair after a shower. He hears a knock on the door and opens it.
SCENE 16
INT. OUTSIDE IAN'S BEDROOM, DAY 1 — NIGHT
LYNN stands outside IAN's room. Her hair looks different, too, after a shower. IAN jumps in shock.
IAN
(realising)
Oh, it's you.
IAN glances down and sees LYNN making the "gimme, gimme, gimme" gesture with her hand.
IAN
(remembering)
Oh, right. The prize, yes.
(lifts a finger)
Uh, hold on.
IAN looks around his room. LYNN waits.
IAN (O.S.)
How 'bout this?
IAN comes out and plops a cream-coloured, fluffy teddy bear into LYNN's hand.
IAN
Take good care of him, okay? He's my best friend from home on this ship. He's from my home state Texas. He means a lot to me. (points)
Look, he's got a lil' cowboy hat on him.
LYNN studies the bear admiringly.
IAN
Er, can you return him to me when the game ends in a month?
LYNN nods at IAN.
IAN
Remember, I'm only
(boops LYNN on the nose)
LENDING him to you. You're only
(boop)
BORROWING him. He's
(boop)
NOT yours, okay? Teddy can get homesick. Texas is far away from space.
(fake begging)
Please, PLEASE take good care of him. I'm choosing to trust YOU.
LYNN nods obediently and gives IAN a salute.
IAN
(pleased)
Good.
(to the bear)
Goodnight, Teddy.
LYNN turns the bear to IAN and waves a paw at him.
IAN
(to LYNN, politely)
And good night to you, too. Go get some sleep. It's gonna be a LONG month with– (gesturing)
–THOSE guys. If you watch them on Youtube, and all the… "shenanigans" they can do…… you get what I mean.
LYNN nods again, TOTALLY understanding.
IAN
(waves)
G'night.
IAN closes and locks his bedroom door.
LYNN looks at Teddy and smiles. She cradles him and carries him like a baby back to her room, deciding she can take care of "Ian's Best Friend" like her own child, even if just temporarily.
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 17
INT. SPACESHIP HALLWAYS, DAY 3 — MORNING
FADE IN: CADDY walks happily down a subtly-lit hallway, eating his breakfast and admiring the look of the ship. He suddenly walks into a door. Rubbing his nose, he pushes against it and finds it locked. He looks up and sees an unlit "ON AIR" sign above the door.
CADDY
(puzzled)
"On air"?
CADDY uses his space security passcard to unlock the door and enter the room.
SCENE 18
INT. PERFORMANCE HALL, DAY 3 — MORNING
CADDY finds himself in a very large room — large enough to fit a whole orchestra and an audience of at least 100 people.
CADDY looks confused.
He walks in and sees a DJ set full of buttons. Some buttons have labels like "Push for virtual orchestra" and "Push for virtual audience".
CADDY looks up. SCARFULHU and PEANUTBUTTERGAMER wave from the mixing room. IAN is standing in front of a microphone on stage. He performs a sound test, wearing headphones around his neck. CADDY walks up to IAN.
CADDY
(puts hands on hips)
Uh, hey, Moose. Morning. What's with this room?
IAN
(nonchalantly)
Expecting something else?
CADDY
W-why would we need a whole damn PERFORMING HALL in this ship? Who's gonna watch us? Only EIGHT people can play at a time!
IAN hushes CADDY.
IAN
Quiet, Caddy.
With one push of a button–
(points at SCARFULHU and PBG)
–those two are gonna put you on air.
CADDY looks at SCARFULHU, then at PBG, then at IAN.
CADDY
(suspicious)
YOU decided to put a studio in here, didn't you?
IAN
(into the mic)
Test, test, 1, 2, 3.
(to CADDY)
Caddy, you're a musician, TOO. Wouldn't you understand?
(points)
With a press of TWO buttons, we'd fill up the entire room with people, virtually! It's called programming, something a LEAD PROGRAMMER would understand.
CADDY
But WHY a music room? Why does it have to be so BIG?
IAN
It's for the aesthetic. Go see James and Brady if you want to see the other changes I've made to the ship.
CADDY grunts angrily and storms away.
IAN
Oh, on your way out, tell Scarf and Peebs to switch off the "On Air" button. I'm not ready yet. And ask Lynn to come 'round. She could help me with these.
(points to the microphone)
CADDY walks up to the Moose again, looking unfriendly.
CADDY
That girl is MUTE, Ee-yan. She DOESN'T sing.
IAN
She's SELECTIVELY mute, Caddy. She DOES talk but ONLY when she's not pressured to. But I don't want her to sing. I don't need her to. Call her over. Maybe she's bored and could use some work and…… some team-building exercises, stuff like that.
CADDY
(unconvinced)
SURE, I understand.
CADDY leaves the studio.
CADDY
(sotto voce, darkly)
I understand perfectly well, MOOSEY.
IAN
(sotto voce, darkly)
Stupid Caddicki-DICK.
DISSOLVE TO: LYNN enters the studio looking very nervous. IAN and PBG are still testing the mics. PBG starts singing into the mics. LYNN stops and stares at him, impressed with his super-smooth, angelic voice.
Then PBG starts beatboxing, but he stops after a few bars.
PBG
I wish Yungtown was here. He'd totally love this.
IAN
(smiling)
I know, right? This place would feel like home AWAY from home, on another planet to him.
PBG
In space!
LYNN knocks on the mixing room door. IAN opens.
IAN
(to LYNN)
Hey, Lynn. Did you have a good night's sleep?
LYNN nods.
IAN
Great! Uh, listen, I was wondering if you could help me write some lyrics to my music…… since, like, you're a writer and maybe you could help me find the words?
(grins at LYNN awkwardy)
LYNN's face brightens up and she nods enthusiastically.
IAN
Alright!
(to PBG)
Peebs, get ready. We're gonna write some songs.
MONTAGE of LYNN, PBG and IAN sitting cross-legged on the stage pouring over pages and pages of words and lyrics. PBG eventually leaves for the mixing room to start producing the tracks.
IAN picks up LYNN's song, titled "Obvious", and gives it a read.
IAN
(pleased)
Not bad, Lynn. You DO have a way with words.
IAN looks at the writer. LYNN looks away quickly, blushing.
IAN
(coyly)
So, this is a Jazz song and you're writing it for…… whom?
LYNN shrugs.
IAN
(teasing)
Hmm, is it about SOMEONE on this ship?
LYNN blows out and "zips" her lips.
IAN
Alright, alright. I'm just asking.
LYNN goes up to the mixing room to listen to PBG sing some more.
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 19
INT. IAN'S BEDROOM, DAY 7 — NIGHT
FADE IN: Team Creators (and LYNN) have dinner on a large round table in IAN's bedroom, chatting merrily.
ANTDUDE raises his glass.
ANTDUDE
Guys. To THREE more weeks of a dog-free, rabies-free trip in space! May we, the creators and the very first players, ALL survive the first trial "Save Yourselves!". Cheers!
EVERYONE
Hear, hear!
(clinks glasses)
Everyone takes a shot.
CADDY
And to SEVEN DAYS of nobody dying! Let's keep that up!
EVERYONE
Hear, hear!
(clinks glasses)
Everyone takes another shot.
CADDY
(raises glass again)
And cheers to the largest flat-screen TV in the whole space, which
(glares at IAN)
JUST HAPPENS to be in the room of our Moose-man here, the NON-lead programmer.
IAN
Jim, you're just jealous that YOU forgot to program a TV in EVERY room on this ship. Luckily I remembered.
CADDY
Hmph.
SCARFULHU
(advising)
You know, you two should have a sleepover pretty soon, on this ship. You can share a TV and MAYBE learn to get along with each other.
A beat. IAN downs his glass.
CADDY
A sleepover? With THIS guy? You know how many… cat toys and teddy bears he's got on his bed?
IAN
(spits)
I do NOT keep my cat's toys on my bed! And I only have ONE teddy, and he's not with me right now!
BRADY
Have you BEEN in his bedroom to know all of that, Caddy?
CADDY
(awkwardly)
Uh… I, uh… I… I just happened to see them in a stream before. Y'know, on Twitch?
IAN
(pats CADDY on the shoulder)
Glad to know you're one of my most loyal subscribers.
IAN puts a hand around CADDY, to CADDY's discomfort.
JAMES
(sarcastically)
We ABSOLUTELY believe you, CADDY.
LYNN snickers.
PBG
(sarcastically)
Yeah, we ABSOLUTELY believe you.
ANTDUDE
(sarcastically)
You have our word.
The Creators finish their roast chicken with frankfurters dinner and put on a funny movie to watch.
TIMECUT: LYNN lets out a yawn after watching two movies back-to-back.
SCARFULHU
(to LYNN)
Sleepy already?
Wiping her mouth with her hand, LYNN nods.
PBG
Aw, man! Just one more movie. I promise you'll like it. C'mon, stay!
LYNN shakes her head politely.
PBG has really begun to like LYNN.
PBG
Please?
LYNN shakes her head again, apologetically.
PBG pouts.
LYNN gets up and waves everyone "bye".
EVERYONE
Bye, Lynn! G'night!
LYNN leaves IAN's room, shutting the door.
TIMECUT: The guys continue watching the movie until a funny scene comes on. They all burst out in laughter.
CUT TO:
SCENE 20
INT. LYNN'S BEDROOM, DAY 7 — NIGHT
LYNN is sleeping soundly in bed, hugging IAN's teddy bear dearly.
IAN's hearty laughter echoes throughout the ship like music, tickling LYNN's ears in her dark bedroom. Mesmerised by the sound of it, LYNN opens her eyes, hugs Teddy closer and gives it a kiss on the forehead. She falls back asleep with a dreamy smile on her face.
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 21
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 10 — NIGHT
FADE IN: LYNN walks into the main control room, holding her teddy-on-loan by the arm. She surveys the place, taking in all the screens, machines, buttons and computers.
She grasps the pendant on her necklace — a clear vial glistening on an electric blue plastic rope. Apprehensively, she approaches the biggest PC in the room and turns it on. The computer sputters to life and a voice comes on.
MARIA-JEAN
Hello. My name is Maria-Jean. You may call me M.J.. How may I help you in this trial of Save Yourselves! ?
LYNN freezes at the sound of the computer's voice. She looks over her shoulder to see if anyone is nearby. The coast is clear.
MARIA-JEAN
If you need any form of information or assistance, please enter a keyword or a question and press "Enter".
Certain that no one's around, LYNN types the letters H-O-W T-O M-A-K-E A C-O-P-Y O-F A R-A-B-I-E-S V-A-C-C-I-N-E and hits Enter.
MARIA-JEAN
I'm sorry, I do not understand that question. Please try another question or use keywords.
LYNN tries again, this time with spacing in between the words.
MARIA-JEAN
I'm sorry, I do not understand that question. Please try another question or use keywords.
LYNN tries again, replacing the word "copy" with "duplicate".
MARIA-JEAN
I'm sorry, I do not understand that question. Please try another question or use keywords.
LYNN tries again, replacing the words "make a duplicate of" with "clone".
MARIA-JEAN
I'm sorry, I do not understand that question. Please try another question or use keywords.
LYNN exhales sharply and types "Rabies Vaccine" into the text box.
MARIA-JEAN
Pets, whether vaccinated or not, are not allowed in the game of "Save Yourselves!". This video game was created by human beings and ONLY human beings are allowed to play.
LYNN rolls her eyes. She just types the word "duplicate" this time.
MARIA-JEAN
A "duplicate" is a COPY of something. It is also known as a "twin" if it is a copy of the original object or organism. A set of human twins can be identical or fraternal–
LYNN pushes a button and M.J. falls silent. She rubs her eyes and looks at her watch. 7 PM. LYNN fidgets as if she wants to leave, but stays anyway.
LYNN turns M.J.'s sound back on and keeps searching.
MONTAGE of LYNN typing in words like "health", "chemicals", "injections", "rabies", "how to heal a dog bite" and "how to protect my friends during a dog attack". Overlay M.J. repeating the same "I'm sorry" statement over and over again.
LYNN slams a fist on the computer table. She fiddles with her necklace again, grasping the pendant tight.
LYNN removes her necklace. She holds the pendant up close to the camera and we can see it contains a bluish liquid. LYNN presses the flat part of the vial and a long needle shoots out, revealing it to be a rabies vaccine on her person all along.
LYNN presses the flat part again, and the needle shoots back into the vial.
JAMES (NITRO RAD) passes by the control room and sees LYNN. He knocks on the door.
JAMES
Hey, Lynn. Whatcha doing? We're looking for you. We're playing Sonic Adventure, DX version. I think you know THAT game, judging by the stickers on your notebook. Wanna join us?
LYNN shakes her head. JAMES spots the lit-up screen behind LYNN.
JAMES
(realising)
I see you've turned M.J., the search engine of our shelter…… spaceship, in this case. She's not very useful since she's underdeveloped. But she can do… SOME things, I guess?
LYNN nods, making a face as if thinking "I'm SURE she can".
JAMES
Uh… are you looking up anything right now?
LYNN nods resolutely.
JAMES
Uh, I'm sorry, Lynn. M.J.'s functions are, like, REALLY limited. We're GAME developers, not computer programmers. You can use your phone, but there's no Internet here. Even though it's in space, there's no satellite. (shrugs)
Sorry.
LYNN nods, understanding.
JAMES
But we CAN play video games. Come join us in the Rec Room. We've got snacks. Brady's got, like, a LOT of those spicy taco chips. (chuckles)
It can give you gas, though. So just eat 'em in, like, moderation.
LYNN shakes her head politely.
JAMES
Oh, well, okay then. Er, try to find a way to entertain yourselves without breaking anything, okay? Please don't touch anything you're not sure of. Oh, you wanna see something cool?
(points to the right)
There.
LYNN watches as JAMES turns on a screen and eight names and heartbeats pop up.
JAMES
(enthusiastically)
Here is where you can check on your teammates' health. You can see things like their heart rate, breathing rate, oxygen levels, blood pressure, glucose levels, and even mood! ALL of that, IN REAL TIME.
LYNN examines the screen, amazed. Everyone is in a "good" mood except her.
JAMES
So, like, if someone's not feeling well and needs an over-the-counter remedy of some sort, you can help them. We're not doctors, but we've done our research on this part. Just press on their name-
(presses "JAMES")
-and press this button-
(presses the big "DIAGNOSE" button)
-and then answer some questions, and you should be able to figure out what someone needs.
LYNN nods, understanding.
JAMES
Alright, so, catch you later?
LYNN waves goodbye. JAMES gives her a thumbs up and runs back to the Recreation Room.
LYNN looks at the vitals screen, watching her friends' hearts and her own beat away. She notices IAN's heartbeat and sees a small earphone jack underneath it.
Intrigued, she types "what is the headphone jack for on the vitals screen?" into M.J..
MARIA-JEAN
The headphone jack is for listening to one's heartbeat without having to auscultate the person. Just plug in your headphones or earphones, and you will be able to auscultate the individual without physical contact.
A big smile forms on LYNN's face, deciding M.J. is useful for once.
LYNN runs out of the room and returns with some earphones. She plugs them into the jack below IAN's name.
Then she moves the computer chair to the front of the vitals screen, sits on it, and puts the earphone buds into her earlobes, one by one.
She closes her eyes dreamily as IAN's heart beats softly in her ears.
Camera pans out as LYNN sighs deeply and bear-hugs the Teddy Bear, wondering what the "Brutal Moose" or the "Savage Elk" could be doing at the moment to sound like that on the inside……
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 22
INT. SPACE SHUTTLE OBSERVATORY, DAY 12 — NIGHT
FADE IN: The men are in the spaceship's observatory, looking through the two telescopes available, or studying the star charts in the room. The stars outside the ship twinkle in the dark abyss.
SCARFULHU waits for JAMES and BRADY to be done. PBG hangs out in a corner staring into literal space.
SCARFULHU
(impatiently)
It's my turn.
JAMES
(adjusting a knob on the telescope)
Sorry, Scarf. If you're gonna find something space-y to do, go check the engine or something.
SCARFULHU
The engine is PERFECT the way it is now.
JAMES
Then go play the constellation cards with Peebs or something. Matching pairs, Go Fish, Ace of Spades, whatever.
SCARFULHU sighs and goes to PBG.
BRADY
(looking through the telescope)
James, what do people do anyway while they're in space, like, what CAN they do? Like, what do researchers do in their free time when they're not, like, researching?
JAMES
(shrugs)
I dunno.
(looks at BRADY)
Maybe we should've thought of that before we included "space" as an option where to face the WORST fear ever known to mankind: boredom.
BRADY
Hmph.
JAMES
We're survivors, not researchers. We're trying to SURVIVE this game. Whatever we're doing for fun is just a pastime.
BRADY
I know.
JAMES
(looks back into the telescope)
See anything cool?
BRADY
No, not yet. Not even my own zodiac sign. This is really cool, but it's not, like, ENGAGING enough for me.
JAMES
(sotto voce)
Says the one who says going to space is a once-in-lifetime rare opportunity! All sorts of things to do!
At the other end of the room, PBG lets out a yawn on the card table.
PBG
This game sucks.
SCARFULHU
Yeah, telescopes are better.
PBG
(enthusiastically)
Mm-hmm. You can see across the ENTIRE universe with them, if you know what to find.
SCARFULHU
(eagerly)
Really? You're a space nerd just like me? You, you like constellations?
PGB
Nah, not really. I prefer looking at ROCK-SOLID objects, like planets and moons, not just some twinkling white dots in the sky or whatever shapes they make. Sorry.
SCARFULHU sighs, disappointed.
IAN enters and goes to the first telescope. JAMES and BRADY have left.
IAN
(to himself)
I wonder if there are any Cancers out there tonight?
LYNN comes over, holding IAN's teddy bear. She goes to the telescope next to him and looks through it. She's not sure what she's looking for, so she randomly adjusts knobs and angles until she sees something interesting.
After about a minute of looking, IAN starts humming a tune that LYNN doesn't recognise. She closes her eyes and listens anyway, letting herself be carried away.
LYNN stops looking through the telescope. FOCUS ON IAN and PAN DOWN his T-shirt as LYNN notices the brightly-coloured flowers on it.
CUT TO:
SCENE 23
INT. LYNN'S BEDROOM, DAY 12 — NIGHT
LYNN flops onto her bed, wide-eyed, IAN's humming still echoing in her head.
LYNN clutches the sheets a little and decides it's time for a change. She gets up, opens her cupboard and pulls out some fresh sheets, blankets and pillow cases from the top compartment.
TIME LAPSE of LYNN replacing her old bedsheets with new ones, and adding a special purple pillowcase for Teddy to sleep on.
LYNN finishes and steps back to admire her work. We see her bed covered in floral prints, the same kind matching the design on IAN's T-shirt.
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 24
INT. SPACE KITCHEN, DAY 15 — MORNING
LYNN is preparing herself a cup of coffee for breakfast when the ship suddenly jolts forward. Her mug falls into the sink and spills all its contents down the drain. A few drops of coffee splashes onto her favourite Asterix T-shirt.
LYNN stares at her lost dreams.
CUT TO:
SCENE 25
INT. SPACESHIP HALLWAY, DAY 15 — MORNING
The men come running down the hallway, having felt the jolt as well.
ANTDUDE
What's happening?
JAMES
Something hit the ship.
(points)
To the control room. We'll find out what.
CUT TO:
SCENE 26
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 15 — MORNING
The men run into the control room. JAMES boots up MARIA-JEAN, the spaceship's search engine.
JAMES
M.J., show us an overview of the ship.
MARIA-JEAN
Yes, Mister Lewell.
A 3D diagram of the whole ship emerges in the centre of the room. JAMES goes over to it and rotates the diagram around until he spots the problem.
ANTDUDE
What's wrong?
JAMES
(points)
There.
A giant rock seems to have gotten caught in one of the ship's engines. The engine is still functioning, but the gentle, suspended-rocking motion of the ship has been halted momentarily.
IAN
(facepalms)
Asteroids.
SCARFULHU
I can get to the engine! I designed the engine parts of this ship. I know how to do this. I won't even have to go OUT into space!
JAMES
Kay, so what are you going to do?
SCARFULHU
I'll crawl.
A beat.
CADDY
"Crawl"?
SCARFULHU
Crawl, yes!
He points.
SCARFULHU (O.S.)
You see those panels around the room? They are vents leading straight to the engine.
BACK TO SCARFULHU.
SCARFULHU
I figured, in case whatever's out there breaches the boundaries, gets into the ship and tries to hurt us, we could all crawl into the vents and hide INSIDE the engine compartment. It's got enough space for eight people. We won't be found there, I'm sure. And whatever it is, it won't be able to fit INTO these vents and find us.
CADDY
(nods understandingly)
Okay……
PBG
So, what's this gotta do with the asteroid?
SCARFULHU
I'll crawl to the engines and try to lodge the rock away. I'll be safe. I know how to wear a space mask and a spacesuit, if I must.
ANTDUDE
Be careful.
SCARFULHU unhinges the screws on a vent and removes the opening. He wiggles himself in, inserting his head, neck, shoulders, front arms, and upper torso into the cavity……
SCENE 27
INT. SPACE KITCHEN, DAY 15 — MORNING
Meanwhile, LYNN is in the kitchen, wearing a new shirt. She makes herself a new cup of coffee. She cautiously looks around and hopes the ship doesn't decide to rock her world again.
CUT BACK TO:
SCENE 28
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 15 — MORNING
SCARFULHU is halfway in and out of the vent hole and is struggling with some difficulty.
CADDY
(concerned)
Scarf, you alright there?
SCARFULHU
Ngh!
(embarrassedly)
I… appear to have miscalculated. I am far too big to fit into this narrow cavity. Heheh. I think ALL of us are.
The whole room groans frustratedly.
ANTDUDE
(sotto voce)
We're gonna become dog food, are we?
SCARFULHU
(awkwardly)
I can't seem to get out…… Can someone help me?
CADDY
(frustratedly)
Great. We've got a rock stuck in our engine and our engineer is stuck in a vent.
JAMES
(scratching his head)
Brady, get the plunger.
BRADY
Hmm?
JAMES
The Jumbo one, y'know? The special one we save in case of your…
(gesturing vaguely)
"troubles".
BRADY
The Jumbo–
(realising)
OH, the Jumbo Plunger. Okay, I'll get it.
JAMES
Yeah, hurry.
BRADY leaves the control room. He comes back.
BRADY
But, James, I haven't taken a shit yet. I need a few more hours, or maybe just ONE hour after some spicy taco chips-
JAMES
(trying to stay calm)
Brady, just get the plunger. Please.
CUT TO:
SCENE 29
INT. STORE ROOM, DAY 15 — MORNING
BRADY goes to the store room, unlocks it, and removes an (unused) XXL-sized black plunger.
CLOSE UP on a label attached to the plunger that reads "In Case of Brady".
BRADY runs back excitedly to the main control room.
SCENE 30
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 15 — MORNING
BRADY returns and hands the plunger to JAMES. JAMES stands in front of SCARFULHU's butt, plunger in hand.
JAMES
I'm sorry, Scarfulhu.
(raises plunger)
But I've gotta do what I gotta do.
JAMES rams the giant plunger onto SCARFULHU's backside and starts pulling.
SCARFULHU
(startled)
OI! What are ye doing? That feels like a fockin' PLUNGER!
(anxious)
Yer not gonna PLUNGE me outta here, are ye?
JAMES
(as-a-matter-of-factly)
That's technically what a plunger is for – for plunging stuff out. But on this spaceship, ALL humans are treated EQUALLY...
(tugs plunger hard)
ANTDUDE snorts. PBG holds back laughter.
SCARFULHU
(annoyed)
Why can't you just PULL me out by the legs?!
CADDY
Scarfulhu, please, just cooperate. Hold still.
JAMES tugs with all his might, attempting to free the engineer from his awkward position.
SCARFULHU
Whatever you do, PLEASE, not too hard. I need my intestines. Really, I do.
JAMES keeps tugging. SCARFULHU keeps moaning (in discomfort). BRADY stands in the corner watching and eating a packet of spicy taco chips.
BRADY
(to the camera)
Remember, children, this is NOT a recommended method for constipation. Nuh-uh. Do NOT try this at home.
SCENE 31
INT. KITCHEN, DAY 15 — MORNING
LYNN pours a kettle full of hot tea into a large flask. She places it on a trolley of teacups, tea-dishes and spoons. She decides to be as useful as possible as the guys work to solve the TWO emerging technical problems.
LYNN pushes the trolley out of the kitchen.
BACK TO SCENE:
SCENE 32
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 15 — MORNING
JAMES keeps tugging and pulling the plunger stuck onto the Scottish arse.
JAMES
(to everyone in the room)
A little help here?
The men gather around him and pull on the plunger together. SCARFULHU moans some more with every tug backwards.
SCENE 33
INT. SPACESHIP HALLWAYS, DAY 15 — MORNING
LYNN pushes the tea trolley down the hallway, humming a catchy and cheerful little tune.
SCENE 34
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 15 — MORNING
The men keep pulling.
JAMES
PULL HARDER!!
SCARFULHU
Please, hurry. This doesn't feel very good at all.
On the count of three, the men give one last tug. Suddenly, a large "RIP" sound was heard. Everyone freezes.
JAMES holds up SCARFULHU's torn pair of cotton pants. From under it, he peels a piece off a layer of torn underwear.
A beat.
IAN
(impressed)
Okay, now THAT'S some plunger.
SCENE 35
INT. OUTSIDE THE MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 15 — MORNING
LYNN rolls her trolley up to the door and knocks.
SCENE 36
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 15 — MORNING
LYNN opens the door, looking in.
The scene of SCARFULHU's (pixelated) naked backside surrounded by six other men (with one holding a plunger) greet her.
LYNN's eyes roll back upwards, far up into her head. She leaves with the trolley.
The guys stare after her. A loud crash commences, shaking the whole place. Metals bang against a concrete wall. Glass breaks. The dust settles and the guys turn their attention back to SCARFULHU.
A beat.
SCARFULHU
Why are we stopping? And what's that sound? And why does my bottom feel so COLD?
CADDY
That was Lynn. And our tea.
(hesitantly)
I THINK we might have accidentally blinded her.
SCARFULHU sighs.
CADDY (O.S.)
We'll check on her later.
BACK TO CADDY:
CADDY
But for now let's get you out and put some clothes on you.
SCARFULHU
(anxiously)
"Clothes"?
(calmly)
Oh, and I STILL need my intestines, mkay?
JAMES
(kindly)
We'll be gentle, Scarfulhu. I promise.
A bit more tugging and pulling and SCARFULHU is finally plunged out of the vent. The scarfed engineer stands up, brushes his hair out of his face, and puts on what's left of his pants.
SCARFULHU
That was NOT fun. I'm NOT doing that again. Luckily I have another pair.
BRADY
(picks up plunger)
I'm so glad I brought this along.
ANTDUDE
Okay. So how are we going to get that asteroid out of the engine?
JAMES thinks and suddenly remembers something. He presses a button and a large spacesuit comes out from a tall drawer. It looks extra strong and muscular. IAN gets flashbacks of wearing a Muscle Man costume on his channel.
JAMES looks at the suit admiringly, then at BRADY expectantly.
BRADY
You are NOT making me wear a thing that makes me look fat.
CUT TO:
SCENE 37
EXT. OUTSIDE THE SPACE SHUTTLE, DAY 15 — AFTERNOON
JAMES
(from behind a window)
PUSH, BRADY! PUSH!
BRADY, clad in the muscular spacesuit, pushes the stationary asteroid from the side. The engine burns, obstructed but hot and functioning. The Youtubers cheer BRADY on by a line of windows, wearing communication devices.
BRADY
(angrily)
I can't fucking believe y'all…… I can't FUCKING believe it! YOU MADE ME DO THIS!
ANTDUDE
COME ON, BRADY. PUSH! YOU'RE AN ASTRONAUT NOW! PUSH FOR TEAM CREATORS. DO IT!
CUT TO:
SCENE 38
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 15 — AFTERNOON
On a security screen, the men cheer noisily for SPACEMAN BRADY.
BACK TO SCENE:
SCENE 39
EXT. OUTSIDE THE SPACE SHUTTLE, DAY 15 — AFTERNOON
CADDICARUS
(starts singing to inspire BRADY)
O Canada, Our home and native land.
True patriot love, in all of us command……
BRADY stares at CADDY, not expecting that.
CADDICARUS (O.S.)
(singing)
With glowing hearts, we see thee rise,
BACK TO CADDY.
CADDICARUS
(singing)
The True North strong and free!
BRADY
(embarrassed)
I fucking hate you all! I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU!
LYNN paces the control room, trying to think of a way to help.
CADDICARUS (O.S.)
(singing)
From far and wide, O Canada, We stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free……
BACK TO CADDY.
CADDY
(singing)
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
CUT TO:
SCENE 40
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 15 — AFTERNOON
LYNN opens the vitals screen. Health-wise, BRADY's doing fine, but he cannot move a half-tonne space rock all by himself, even with an extra strong spacesuit.
LYNN paces around the room, trying to think of a way to help. She spots something in the wastebasket. It was an empty packet of BRADY's spicy taco chips. She snaps her fingers.
LYNN opens a hidden cabinet and pulls out an instruction manual for spacesuits. LYNN flips the pages, scanning quickly. She opens a window showing a diagram of BRADY's spacesuit and buttons with chemical symbols.
CUT TO:
SCENE 41
EXT. OUTSIDE THE SPACESHIP, DAY 15 — AFTERNOON
The asteroid still isn't budging. BRADY is about at his wit's (and strength's) end. The other Creators' singing, dancing and cheering aren't helping.
CADDY is donning some fake Canadian Moose antlers. He shakes his head wildly as he keeps singing, ironically hitting a sullen IAN (BRUTALMOOSE) in the face with said antlers. He starts from the first verse again.
CADDICARUS
O Canada,
Our home and native land. True patriot love, in all of us command……
BRADY
(pensively)
Somebody PLEASE make him stop……
CUT TO:
SCENE 42
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 15 — AFTERNOON
LYNN pushes a few of the chemical buttons and releases a gas into the external layer of BRADY's spacesuit.
MARIA-JEAN
Careful, Lynn. Messing with chemicals that you do not fully understand is VERY dangerous.
LYNN gives M.J. a look as if to say "I know, shut up."
CUT TO:
SCENE 43
INT. OUTSIDE THE SPACESHIP, DAY 15 — AFTERNOON
BRADY keeps pushing and the Creators keep cheering. Suddenly, BRADY grasps his stomach.
BRADY
(painfully)
Oh! James, I think I'm gonna……
JAMES
(realising)
……no, no, Brady. Don't do it in the suit!
BRADY
(in agony)
I shouldn't have had that many spicy taco chips……
JAMES
(horrified)
NO! NOT IN THE SUIT! NOT IN THE SUIT!!
BRADY
I gotta……
JAMES
NOT! IN! THE! SUUUUUIT!
BRADY lets out a fart. The fart gas mixes with the chemicals LYNN released in his suit and creates a propulsion, pushing him forward.
BRADY howls in surprise as the extra force FINALLY dislodges the asteroid from the engine. Team Creators cheer.
CUT TO:
SCENE 44
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 15 — AFTERNOON
LYNN sighs with relief. Her plan had worked. She is proud of herself.
BACK TO SCENE:
SCENE 45
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 15 — AFTERNOON
The men put on their space helmets, open the ship door, and happily reel a surprised BRADY back into the ship, a trail of smoke emitting from his hinter regions.
FADE TO BLACK.
Two beats.
BRADY
I need to go potty.
SCENE 46
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 15 — LATE AFTERNOON
FADE IN: LYNN looks at all the manuals and diagrams she has opened or removed. The men can be heard chattering excitedly from a distance.
SCENE 47
INT. SPACE SHUTTLE HALLWAYS, DAY 15 — LATE AFTERNOON
BRADY walks down the hall in the now-moving station, surrounded by the other Creators, trying to figure out what just happened.
BRADY
(confused)
…… I don't know. I just FARTED and then–
ANTDUDE
(cynically)
So farts can substitute rocket power now? Ha, we've made a scientific discovery, folks!
BRADY
I dunno 'bout that. I was pushing the rock and then my butt just went
(makes a fart sound)
and then I was moving forward.
JAMES stops suddenly.
JAMES
(lifts a finger)
Wait. Where's Lynn?
SCENE 48
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 15 — LATE AFTERNOON
LYNN quickly hides the diagrams and manuals before the men find her.
JAMES (O.S.)
Where HAS she been all this time? What is she doing?
ANTDUDE (O.S.)
She missed out on all of that.
BRADY (O.S.)
(rambling)
…… Can farting in a spacesuit kill you? WHat if you explode from farting in a suit? Should suits have a special chamber where farts can be released into space or what–
LYNN slams a drawer close just as the guys pull up.
JAMES
Oh, there you are. Whatcha doin'?
CADDY
(referring to the SCARFULHU incident)
So you're not blind anymore?
LYNN raises an eyebrow at CADDY.
LYNN
(signing to BRADY)
You're not dead yet?
BRADY
(not understanding)
Uhhh… did you see me, Lynn? I managed to push a heavy-ass asteroid AWAY from the ship's engine! I did it! We're home free! We're in the clear!
LYNN nods praisingly and gives BRADY a thumbs-up.
BRADY
(gestures at LYNN)
Hey, you cool? You… kinda missed all of that action. If you were, like, in the toilet, I understand. Just watch the security tapes again to catch all of that. Promise you won't regret that.
LYNN looks at the security cameras and nods.
BRADY
(casually)
Uh, okay. So… I'll see you, I guess. Happy writing or whatever writers do, Lynn. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to use the toilet myself.
(dashes off)
The men leave the scene, waving LYNN goodbye. LYNN sighs with relief and wipes the sweat off her forehead.
DISSOLVE TO:
SCENE 49
INT. JAMES AND BRADY'S BEDROOM, DAY 17 — MORNING
BRADY walks in to find JAMES pouring over some drawings at his desk.
BRADY
Hey, James. Whatcha doing?
JAMES
Well, after what happened yesterday, I thought I could, y'know, celebrate your - OUR - victory, and do something like this.
BRADY takes a closer look.
JAMES
Glad we programmed stuff like sign language charts, plungers and CRAYONS into our game, don't you think?
BRADY
Agreed.
JAMES
They're not, like, masterpieces or anything, but I don't care. I do it just because I can.
BRADY
I see.
JAMES
Since we're gonna be stuck in here for, like, two more weeks, well, this is something we CAN do.
BRADY studies JAMES's drawings. They are all incriminating images of an alien dog terrorising the space around them. One has Rayman blasting the dog with a beam of light. Another has Astro Bot cutting him with a glowing sword. Another one has cuss words and arrows surrounding the dog with an archery/shooting target for a head. All drawings were signed off with "NITRO RAD".
BRADY
(shakes head)
Oooooh, the dog's NOT gonna like any of this……
JAMES
(confidently)
NOPE!
BRADY
You know what, let's put 'em 'round the ship. It'll keep morale up. C'mon.
JAMES
(gets up)
And remind everyone who our "enemy" is.
SCENE 50
INT. AROUND THE SPACESHIP, DAY 17 — MORNING AND AFTERNOON
MONTAGE of JAMES and BRADY going around the spaceship posting the artwork on anything where it'll stick. They also with their fellow Creators about posting their artwork in their rooms.
SCENE 51
INT. JAMES AND BRADY'S, DAY 15 — AFTERNOON
BRADY and JAMES flop down on each others' side of the bed.
BRADY
I can't believe Antdude actually ALLOWED your artwork into his room, haha!
JAMES
Knowing him, he would probably make his OWN version of the drawing, chuck it in the trash, or post it where he WON'T wake up to it first thing in the morning. Even if I drew nothing but Kirby or Sonic in it.
BRADY
One dose of Kirby Pink, fresh from the Nitro Rad Special!
JAMES
I'm going down for tea. You coming?
BRADY
Today is not Taco Tuesday. Today is a Sunday.
BRADY
glances at the pile of tacos and cooking equipment in his room.
BRADY
You know what, I'll be fine.
JAMES
Alright. See ya.
JAMES leaves. BRADY stays.
DISSOLVE TO:
SCENE 52
INT. JAMES AND BRADY'S BEDROOM, DAY 17 — EVENING
BRADY is fast asleep at his desk, half a taco hanging out from his closed mouth. He wakes up when a coarse, ear-splitting scream erupts somewhere in the ship.
BRADY
James? James?
(increasing panic)
JAMES?
BRADY launches out of his seat to the kitchen — the place where JAMES last said he would be.
SCENE 53
INT. SPACESHIP HALLWAYS, DAY 17 — EVENING
BRADY runs to the kitchen.
BRADY
(anxious)
James? James? Are you okay? Did Antdude mix cat litter into your tea again? JAMES!
SCENE 54
INT. KITCHEN, DAY 17 — EVENING
BRADY reaches the kitchen.
BRADY
James?
The camera zooms in on BRADY's face as he lets out a horrified scream.
JAMES lies on the floor, life ebbing from his body. There is a big wound in his abdomen and a scratch mark on his face. There is blood everywhere, complemented by bloody paw prints and drops of doggy drool. Some of JAMES's drawings have been torn from the fridge, the papers utterly torn and ruined.
SCENE 55
INT. SPACESHIP HALLWAYS, DAY 17 — EVENING
BRADY turns and runs down the hallway.
BRADY
(frightened)
EVERYONE, BURN ALL OF JAMES' DRAWINGS! TAKE 'EM ALL DOWN! THROW 'EM AWAY! THE DOG KNOWS ABOUT THEM!! THE DOG KNOWS!!!
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 56
INT. SPACE CEMETERY, DAY 18 — MORNING
FADE IN: JAMES, white as ash, lies in a body bag. His friends zip it up and place him in a silver body drawer where he can rest peacefully. His belongings, in a backpack, are placed into the same drawer as well. They close it shut and lock it.
BRADY stares at his best friend's name on the drawer and breaks down in tears. Everyone feels awkward.
Three beats.
ANTDUDE
(shakes head)
Fuck it.
ANTDUDE gives his rival's best friend a hug and everyone follows. Group support over toxic masculinity any time.
DISSOLVE TO:
SCENE 57
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 18 — LATE MORNING
BRADY sobs and sniffles as the Creators gather for a post-mortem meeting.
BRADY
(disbelief)
How did this happen? How did this even happen?
The men pat BRADY's back, whispering words of comfort. CADDY leans forward.
CADDY
Brady, when was the last time you saw James alive? What happened?
BRADY
(sniffs)
Please don't say "alive". You make it sound like he's…… I just... I just can't believe he's...!
BRADY breaks down onto PEANUTBUTTERGAMER's neighbouring shoulder. PBG hugs him sympathetically.
PBG
(pats BRADY)
I'm sorry, Brady. I'm sorry.
BRADY regains enough composure to tell his story.
BRADY
(sniffing)
Yesterday was a Sunday. It wasn't Taco Tuesday. So I decided to stay in our room to make some tacos while James went for tea in the kitchen. And then I heard him scream and I went down and I found him dead! There's blood everywhere and all his drawings were torn!
IAN
James's drawings?
SCARFULHU
Of the dog?
BRADY
(nods)
Yeah. The dog must've seen them then decided to kill my Jamesy first for them!
CADDY
(realising)
We are dealing with an INTELLIGENTdog here.
LYNN swallows.
PBG
We've burned ALL his drawings, so now what?
BRADY
HOW DID THE FUCKING DOG EVEN GET INTO THE FUCKING SPACESHIP???
SCARFULHU
(suddenly)
You think the asteroid has something to do with this?
CADDY
Scarfie, the asteroid is the LEAST of our concerns now!
SCARFULHU looks hurt. ANTDUDE falls silent.
CADDY
(pacing)
What are we going to do about this dog? Oh, I know. We could feed it some poisoned dog food. I can work on a program to make that EXIST. Antdude, are you with me?
ANTDUDE
(nods)
If that doesn't work, we could make a bigger dog to take it down.
CADDY
How big is that thing?
(to BRADY)
Brady, did you see the dog?
BRADY
(shakes head)
No. James is the last one to have seen anything.
CADDY sighs.
SCARFULHU
Lads, lads, can we just, like, delete it ENTIRELY? Like, totally SCRAP it out of the code until the month is over?
BRADY
(as-a-matter-of-factly)
Every game needs a villain, an enemy, some inner demon of some sort or a FEAR. We have to fight SOMETHING. We can't just delete the dog. It doesn't work like that. It won't.
PBG
But WE made the game! Don't WE have a say in how it works? Is it too late to change anything?
BRADY
(regrettably)
We still gotta follow its rules. This game is not very kind to us. The dog is UNMODIFIABLE. The only way to beat the game is to kill the dog, or survive the month - at least ONE of us should. I'm SO sorry.
Morale drops collectively in the group. LYNN starts trembling.
BRADY
(hopeful)
But there's something we COULD try. We could, like, TAME the dog? Y'know, like, become its friend or something. Ya heard of the saying, "I have defeated my enemy when he becomes my friend", or however it goes……?
A beat.
PBG
(reaching out to BRADY)
Brady, do you THINK that's a good idea?
IAN
I thought you said the only way to defeat the dog is to KILL it?
BRADY
(lost in thought)
Maybe there's another way, another way we never thought of. Maybe James and I were wrong about this whole thing. Maybe we've been approaching this the wrong way all along. Like, maybe we wanted to teach people that your fears can be conquered, not violently, but nicely, like, with KINDNESS.
ANTDUDE
(holds BRADY's hand)
Brady, I KNOW you're upset about James. We all are and so am I, honestly. But we gotta think straight here……
BRADY
Our game killed him. I helped to make the game. That means–
(gasps)
–I killed him……!
CADDY
(getting worried)
Brady, Brady, Brady, calm down, PLEASE. You're not thinking straight. We've lost James and we're ALL mourning but we can't–
BRADY
(wailing)
I KILLED JAAAAAAMES!
BRADY runs out of the control room.
The remaining Creators look at each other, all helpless.
ANTDUDE
(shrugs)
Welp, Brady's out of it.
IAN
So what now?
CADDY thinks of an immediate plan and snaps his fingers.
CADDY
(authoritatively)
We secure the entire ship. We don't let ANYTHING in or out. We all stay in and NOT leave since it came from the OUTSIDE. We keep the gravity and the oxygen levels on and stable at all times and we do NOT leave our rooms unless ABSOLUTELY necessary.
PBG
But–
CADDY
No one goes out of their rooms, not even to the toilet or the kitchen, without telling ME first.
(points at LYNN)
ESPECIALLY you, Lynn. You stay in your room unless one of us calls you out, okay?
LYNN nods obediently.
CADDY
Never, EVER any one of you put yourselves in danger unnecessarily, got it? You'll be punished.
Everyone mutters their agreement.
CADDY
GOOD.
(to LYNN)
Lynn, if you have any trouble, look for Ian. His room's the nearest to yours.
LYNN nods again. IAN puts a hand up.
IAN
Caddy, I have NOTHING against you being the boss and I have NOTHING against Lynn coming to me for help, but we're gonna quarantine ourselves in our OWN ship?
SCARFULHU
(sotto voce)
Art mirrors real life……
CADDY stands up, resolute.
CADDY
I'm sorry, CaddiCadets. But this is what we have to do.
LYNN and the Youtubers ook rather grim.
CADDY (O.S.)
We've already lost one and we've still got 12 more days to go and I'm NOT taking any more chances.
BACK TO CADDY.
CADDY
Regardless of how the bloody dog got in, we've got to assume that it's STILL inside the spaceship, observing our EVERY move, and ANY ONE OF US could be next. We've GOT to stay vigilant, and we will NOT give it a moment's chance to feed on our raw flesh.
(pause)
Dismissed, everyone. Good night and be safe.
PBG
But–
CADDY
(assertively)
DISMISSED!
LYNN is the last to leave the room. She takes one last look at JAMES's grave and signs "I'm sorry". Somehow, she feels that SHE is the one who killed JAMES LEWELL with her paralysing fear of dogs.
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 58
INT. CADDY'S BEDROOM, DAY 19 — MORNING
The clock chimes 8AM. CADDY slams his beeping alarm clock. His stomach growls. He lies in bed for a while, thinking, before picking up the emergency COM Line.
CADDY
CaddiCadets, breakfast in the kitchen. All together, NOW! Those who aren't coming, please double-triple-QUADRUPLE barricade your doors and DON'T LEAVE unless you're joining us.
He puts down the COM Line.
CUT TO:
SCENE 59
INT. KITCHEN, DAY 19 — MORNING
CADDY double-barricades the kitchen door. He sits at the dining table with ANTDUDE, PEANUTBUTTERGAMER and SCARFULHU. He opens his laptop and the game's codes. He begins typing away like a madman. The others try to have a quiet mealtime.
A concerned ANTDUDE speaks up in between mouthfuls of cereal.
ANTDUDE
Caddy, why don't you eat something? You can't work on an empty stomach.
CADDY is too focused to respond.
CADDY
(thinking out loud)
C'mon… There's GOT to be a way out of this game……
SCARFULHU looks up as if to say something, but continues eating.
Suddenly there's a loud knocking on the door.
CADDY
Who's there?
IAN (O.S.)
It's me, Ian. Let me in.
CADDY unbarricades and unlocks the door. IAN walks in. CADDY re-locks and re-barricades the door.
CADDY
Ian, come help me. I need all hands on deck with the codes.
IAN instead puts his hands into the bread bag and puts some toast into the toaster.
CADDY
Ian?
No response.
Insulted by the silence, CADDY enters something in the code in an attempt to get his teammate's attention.
The half-toasted toasts jump out of the toaster and bounce around the kitchen like bouncy jelly beans. ANTDUDE, PBG and SCARFULHU quickly scramble to get under the table. IAN is not so lucky.
THWACK! His breakfast slams into his face before he could even take a bite out of it.
The toasts fall to the ground. IAN looks at CADDY darkly.
IAN
Caddy, I've TOLD you not to bother me before I've had my breakfast. You KNOW I'm a grump when I haven't eaten.
CADDY
(obnoxiously)
Well, I thought I could help speed up that process a bit.
From under the table, SCARFULHU swallows his orange juice.
IAN stares after CADDY as he goes to make his own breakfast. He pulls out a packet of instant noodles and turns on the stove.
IAN leaves the kitchen in a huff and comes back with his laptop. He opens the code of the game and enters "stove_explode_Sam_Widge" into his code.
CUT TO:
SCENE 60
INT. LYNN'S BEDROOM, DAY 19 — MORNING
LYNN is sleeping soundly on her side in her room when a loud BOOM! goes off in the distance.
BACK TO SCENE:
SCENE 61
INT. KITCHEN, DAY 19 — MORNING
CADDY has his back to the camera. He turns around slowly, revealing two large (animated) blinking eyes on a soot-black face.
CADDY
(stunned, in a fake Italian accent)
Mamma mia.
IAN laughs at CADDY's predicament and blows a chef's kiss at him.
Steam comes out from CADDY's ears and nose. He grabs his laptop. He enters "set_fire_to_mooses_nether_regions".
IAN's crotch suddenly lights ablaze. He shrieks and jumps up, knocking his chair over.
CADDY loses it as he watches his teammate pry a fire extinguisher from the wall and blast his burning bits with foam.
IAN puts the extinguisher back and turns to CADDY, foam dripping from his beard.
IAN
(shakes head)
We don't do that here, Caddy. We don't do that here.
A beat.
PBG
(gets up)
I'm getting out of here, man. I'm NOT changing my username to "PeanutButterTOAST".
SCARFULHU
(gets up as well)
We'll lock and double-barricade the door of… wherever we're going.
PBG carries his breakfast out of the kitchen. SCARFULHU and ANTDUDE follow after him. The door closes and double-locks itself.
IAN and CADDY resume battle.
CADDY grabs his laptop before IAN grabs his. CADDY keys in a code and hits Enter.
Everything in the room starts floating upwards, except for their bodies.
IAN
Did you… did you turn off the GRAVITY?!
CADDY
(looks at the floating objects)
Oh, sorry. Wrong spell.
On his laptop, CADDY deletes "wigardium_leviosa" and replaces it with "levicorpus_Moosey_Goosey".
Everything crashes to the ground. Then IAN's body goes up and suspends itself off the ground.
IAN
(defeated)
Alright, Caddy. You're the SUPERIOR wizard, I'll acknowledge that. Now can you enter "Finite Incantatem" and put me down, like, NOW?
But CADDY has one last trick up his sleeve. He opens a portal right under IAN's feet and drops him through it. CADDY then creates another portal right above the first one and watches with glee as IAN falls from the top one…… and into the bottom one. Then out of the top one and into the bottom one again. And again. And again. And again. And again.
IAN
(wailing)
CADDYYYYYYYYYYY!
CADDY laughs with glee as IAN rides his never-ending roller-coaster, only in a straight vertical line and without any seatbelts.
CUT TO:
SCENE 62
INT. LYNN'S BEDROOM, DAY 19 — MORNING
LYNN lies on her side in bed, covering her ears with a pillow. Her eyes are red from crying and the lack of sleep. She looks VERY cross.
IAN (V.O.)
IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS RIGHT NOW, I'LL KILL YOU! I KNOW YOUR PERSONAL EMAIL ADDRESS! I–
BACK TO SCENE:
SCENE 63
INT. KITCHEN, DAY 19 — MORNING
IAN keeps falling through the portals.
IAN
–KNOW YOUR PHONE NUMBER! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! I KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU THAN YOUR FAMILY DOES–
CADDY tee-hees and types on his laptop one more time.
IAN (O.S.)
–I'LL KILL YOU, I'LL KILL YOUR CAT, I'LL KILL YOUR DOG, I'LL KILL YOUR SNA–
Both portals close and IAN lands back on the kitchen floor.
IAN gets up, staggering and rubbing his back. He groans in pain.
CADDY laughs and there's another knock on the door. He unlocks and opens it. LYNN stands there, eyes red and puffy and nose running.
LYNN
(fingerspelling)
J-A-M-E-S. I-S. D-E-A-D.
(signing in ASL)
FOCUS!
A beat.
CADDY
(apologetically)
Sorry, I don't speak American.
LYNN massages her temples.
IAN
Well, I do.
(to LYNN)
Sorry we woke you up, Lynn. Do you want anything? Let me make it for you, (sarcastically)
as soon as THIS GUY leaves the kitchen.
LYNN just shakes her head and leaves the kitchen herself.
IAN and CADDY exchange a look. They huff and look away, regretfully. They decide to put their enmity aside before ANOTHER person bites the dust.
SCENE 64
INT. LYNN'S BEDROOM, DAY 19 — MORNING
LYNN stomps back to her room and quadruple-barricades her door. She buries her face into her pillow.
BACK TO SCENE:
SCENE 65
INT. KITCHEN, DAY 19 — MORNING
IAN and CADDY type madly at their laptops while stuffing what little breakfast they could make into their mouths.
Suddenly, CADDY's eyes widen.
CADDY
(excitedly)
Moosey, look at this! The game knows our names. It knows US. It's all listed here in the code. Maybe if we ask it nicely, we can remove ourselves from the game without anything happening. Our dog days will be OVER!
IAN
(annoyed sigh)
PLEASE don't call me "Moosey" anymore.
(skeptical)
I don't think that's a good idea, Caddy. We'd be cheating and we could even delete ourselves from EXISTENCE. Everyone will forget us. WE may even forget each other!
CADDY
Oh, don't be such a downer, Moose. We're talking about NOT DYING in a game that we programmed ourselves. That'd be pretty embarrassing, poor James. Do you want to get out of here or not?
IAN sighs, not knowing how to answer.
CADDY
Do you want to wake up each day to a good breakfast — to THREE SOLID MEALS A DAY — or to become a piece of meat for the dog yourself, huh?
IAN starts grumbling.
CADDY
Do you want to watch your niece and nephew grow up, or only have them remember you as their STUPID uncle who was eaten by his own video game enemy……?
IAN
OKAY, FINE!
The two rivals stare at each other.
IAN
(concerned)
But, Caddy, you're the lead programmer, and if we lose you we–
CADDY
(resolutely)
"Leader" doesn't mean the most talented or the most important person, Moose. I trust ALL your skills, and my own.
CADDY clicks on his name in the code and highlights it. Then he right clicks on the top menu, opens the Player Status window, and clicks "Remove Player From Game".
A warning window pops up. It reads: "Removing a Player from the Game before the Trial is over can have disastrous, irreversible consequences for the Player, their lives, and the people around them. Do you wish to continue?"
CADDY
(resolute)
Yes.
He clicks.
A loading screen appears. The duo wait. Another window pops up. "This is your final warning. Leaving the game without completing the course of a trial is very dangerous and will cost you permanently. Proceed?"
IAN looks at CADDY worriedly.
CADDY
Don't know if I don't try.
(resolutely)
Yes.
He clicks.
Another window pops up. "Are you REALLY sure you want to quit on Saving Yourself?"
CADDY
(sarcastically)
Why? I'm ACTUALLY going to die just for quitting a game?
IAN
(pensively)
THAT'S what I've been trying to tell you. Once you start playing this game, you can't leave until it ends.
CADDY
(angrily)
But I'M one of its freakin' PROGRAMMERS!
IAN looks at CADDY's monitor, thinking.
IAN
(plainly)
This game just isn't fair. It doesn't care.
A beat.
CADDY
SO how do you get out and NOT die?
IAN
I…… don't know.
CADDY
Can I, like, program something that can get us out safely or something?
IAN
You can try.
Before CADDY could click anything, another message pops up. "Time's up. You have made your decision. You have 30 seconds to preserve the memory of you or to not. Choose wisely." Two options follow the message: "Yes, preserve" and "No, forget".
CADDY
(shocked)
WAIT, THERE WAS A COUNTDOWN?! WHAT THE FUCK–
IAN
(shocked)
Oh, no.
CADDY suddenly looks at IAN.
CADDY
Why can't I feel my feet?
CADDY looks down to see his feet disappearing and his lower legs are next.
IAN screams and quickly chooses the "Yes, preserve" option. He presses Enter. He rushes up to CADDY, making his rival focus on him. He has no time left.
The camera ZOOMS IN very slowly as IAN speaks.
IAN
Caddy, I'm sorry. I never meant ANY of those things I said to you. I never meant ANY of the bad things I said about you. You're one of my first ever friends I've met on Youtube and joined Hidden Block with me. I would do ANYTHING for you and you KNOW our "rivalry" is just us PRETENDING. I love you Caddy, and I KNOW you feel the same way!
CADDY and IAN look into each other's eyes (with IAN's tearing up), noses almost touching.
CADDY
My laptop. Bring it.
IAN
Okay.
(turns)
CADDY
Hold it for me.
IAN opens CADDY's laptop. CADDY opens the "auditory command" option in the window, enters his name, and a window with the words "Speak, Caddy." appear.
CADDY
Please, game. Put me back into the game. Don't kill me, I MADE you!
The game does not respond.
CADDY's knees have disappeared. Now his thighs are starting to go.
CADDY
(loudly and clearly)
I. Am. The. Lead. Programmer. Of. This. Game. Jim. "Caddicarus". Caddick. And. I'm. The. Leader. Of. Team. Creators. I. Order. You. To. PUT! ME! BACK! INTO! THE! GAME!
CADDY's hips have gone. He's now just a floating torso with arms, a neck and a head. The game still does not respond.
CADDY
(crying)
PLEASE, I'M THE LEAD PROGRAMMER. I MADE YOU! PLEASE, JUST PUT ME BACK INTO THE GAME! I"LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! ANYTHING FOR YOU!!
IAN watches helplessly, hand on his breaking heart.
CADDY's disappearing body crumbles into a heap. He starts bawling.
IAN watches his friend.
Suddenly, CADDY looks up and wipes his tears away. He gets up. He moves towards IAN (with invisible legs), reaches out, and tucks IAN's long brown hair behind his ear.
CADDY
(sweetly)
I love you too, Moosey. You were the most Moose-faced guy at Asagao Academy. I'll see you in another game, or another video, maybe, in another lifetime, another channel. See you.
CADDY smiles sadly, waves IAN goodbye, and lets the tears fall. His hands, and his head, disappear entirely.
IAN stares at the empty spot where "Caddicki-DICK" stood. He drops to the ground and the waterworks begin.
SCENE 66
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 19 — MORNING
MEANWHILE, LYNN punches away at M.J.'s keyboard, vowing to find what she seeks. She hits Enter.
MARIA-JEAN
(beeps)
The chemical components of a Rabies Vaccine are only known to authorised scientists and health officials who KNOW how to create the vaccine. Experimenting with chemicals that you do not fully understand is VERY dangerous.
LYNN slams both hands on M.J.'s table and tugs at her hair. A high-pitched sound grabs her attention.
She turns around and sees that CADDY has flatlined. The flatline sound stops and the words "PLAYER NOT FOUND" appears on screen.
The scene FADES TO BLACK as hope dulls from LYNN's eyes.
SCENE 67
INT. RECREATION ROOM, DAY 21 — NIGHT
PEANUTBUTTERGAMER sits in the Rec Room alone. He looks at his watch. He should be in his room by now, on the late CADDY's orders,with the doors locked and double-barricaded. But he decides the high-security door of the Rec Room should work just as well.
PBG figures if he should die, he shall die surrounded by his favourite games.
ANTDUDE knocks and opens the door.
ANTDUDE
Peebs? You should be in bed by now. Caddy's orders.
PBG
So should you.
ANTDUDE
I'm just making rounds…… in his place.
PBG contemplates what happened with CADDY and JAMES, but stands his ground.
PBG
I'll lock THIS door. It's double-triple-secured, and it's strong like the rest. I'll be fine.
ANTDUDE
(worried)
You PROMISE?
PBG
YES, Antdude. I promise. Good night.
ANTDUDE accepts that promise and leaves his teammate alone, trusting him.
Alone at last, PBG decides to put his favourite game on before he calls it a secure night. It's been a long time since he walked down memory lane games. Why not play a game that has a FRIENDLY dog (and an equally friendly car), at least?
As the night goes on, PBG becomes so engrossed in his game that he does not notice the shuffle of hairy feet from outside. The door opens ajar behind him, but he keeps his eyes glued to the screen.
He finally finishes his game and lets out a yawn. He reaches into his jeans pocket for his bedroom keycard to find that it has disappeared.
PBG
Oh, shit.
MONTAGE of PBG going around the Rec Room searching for his missing keycard. He doesn't find it.
PBG
Oh, shit. Oh, shit. OH, SHIT.
SCENE 68
INT. OUTSIDE PBG'S BEDROOM, DAY 21 — NIGHT
PEANUTBUTTERGAMER leaves the Rec Room for his bedroom. He tries to open the door without his card but to no avail.
PBG
(dreadfully)
I'm fucked.
Just then he hears a little snort behind him. He turns around to see a moderate-sized, if not big, black Dachshund standing in his way. It stares straight into his soul with two large black puppy-dog eyes. PBG smiles at the sight of it. He bends down.
PBG
Hey, are YOU the dog that's been terrorising this ship and eating my friends? Naw, you can't be. You don't look as scary or as mean as they say. In fact-
(cooing)
-you look really soft and fluffy and adorable and SO HUGGABLE! Can I pet you?
The Dachshund steps away shyly.
PBG
(assuringly)
It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you.
(pauses, thinking)
Seriously, Lynn is SCARED of your kind? I can't believe it. I don't know man, what happened to her, or whatever she saw, must be pretty bad.
The sausage-dog starts growling at PBG.
PBG
You look kinda big for a Dachshund, though. What HAVE you been eating? Can't be humans, right? Have you been on this ship the whole time? Oh, and, er, have you seen a little keycard 'round here? I need it to get into my room, y'see……
As PEANUTBUTTERGAMER reaches for the dog's head, he finds his hands caught between its nasty teeth.
PBG
AAAAAAARGH!
The dog releases him and growls at him meanly. PBG looks at his mangled hand, wincing in pain.
PBG
(shocked)
So you're not the kind to play nice, huh? You DON'T play nice, HUH?
PBG and the dog glare at each other. The dog sneers.
PBG
FINE! We'll TEACH you how to place nice on this ship! C'mon, you stupid mutt, let's play together. Whatddya wanna play? Hopscotch? Frisbee? Tag? Hide N' Seek? Hmm, whaddya say? C'MON!
The dog lunges at PEANUTBUTTERGAMER. He jumps out of the way, grasping his severed hand.
PBG
I better go get some First Aid!
He runs down the hallway.
CUT TO:
SCENE 69
INT. OUTSIDE THE KITCHEN, DAY 21 — NIGHT
PBG grabs the First Aid kit from a wall outside the kitchen. He rolls a bandage around his arm several times. Then, with his free hand, he grabs a small box of Scooby Snacks from the kit as well.
SCENE 70
INT. SPACE HALLWAYS, DAY 21 — NIGHT
The Dachshund catches up to PBG. PBG tries to look calm and domineering.
He holds up the box of Scooby Snacks.
PBG
You want a Scooby Snack? I always carry some of these with me in case I need to bribe a dog to, like, leave me alone.
The dog pounces at him, PBG turns and runs up a wall. He does a backflip, going 360 right over the dog's head.
PBG
(lands)
HA!
The dog turns around and bounds straight for him.
PBG
ZOINKS!
He turns and runs again.
SCENE 71
INT. ALL OVER THE SPACESHIP, DAY 21 — NIGHT
MONTAGE: PEANUTBUTTERGAMER runs from the dog but teases it any chance he gets. He dodges its attacks with acrobatic moves. He flings treats at it from a higher floor. He pretends to shoot it with finger guns and makes gun sound effects. He pulls a face at it as it clamours to catch him.
He screams, shrieks and laughs like the crazed Joker; while his smooth, delightful singing voice plays in the background…… contrasting highly (and humorously) with his nasal on-scene voice.
CUT TO:
SCENE 72
INT. SPACESHIP BASEMENT, DAY 21 — NIGHT
Suddenly, heavy bars come down on PBG, trapping him in a crate-like cage. He was so happy to be "dancing with the dog" that he missed a blind spot.
The rabid Dachshund takes a paw off a lever.
PBG
Oops.
The medium-sized dog squeezes through the thick iron bars.It drools and licks its lips as it sniffs out PBG.
PBG
Uh-oh.
POV (of PBG): The dog pounces at the camera with an open mouth, blackening the whole frame. PBG's horrified scream rings throughout the ship.
SCENE 73
INT. KITCHEN, DAY 22 — MORNING
ANTDUDE slams the table with a fist.
ANTDUDE
I TOLD THAT FUCKER TO LOCK HIS DOOR BEFORE HE TURNS IN FOR THE NIGHT, BUT HE ISN'T EVEN IN HIS FUCKING ROOM THE NEXT DAY AND I FOUND THIS CARD LYING ON THE FUCKING FLOOR NEAR THE REC ROOM–
IAN
(calmly but sadly)
He must've dropped it and the dog got to him.
Pained, ANTDUDE holds up a keycard. The name "Austin Hargrave" was emblazoned onto it.
ANTDUDE
How-how could he just drop this? How could he just forget it? How could he just……?
ANTDUDE breaks down. IAN hugs him. LYNN starts crying as well. She hates seeing her most favourite people in the world so miserable, and she's lost almost half of them. She puts a hand around as many as she could fit.
On the opposite side, BRADY sits in his chair, staring into the distance. He's barely touched his food. He looks at M.J.'s countdown clock and calendar. Less than a week left. BRADY gets up.
BRADY
(flatly)
I'll be in my room.
No one stops him.
SCENE 74
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 22-23 — VARIOUS HOURS
MONTAGE: for three days and two nights, BRADY researches tirelessly on MARIA-JEAN, the spaceship search engine. Searches like "man's best friend", "how to tame a dog" and "how to stop prejudice against rabid animals" flash by on-screen, punctuated by BRADY's dark, sad eyes.
Finally, he turns off M.J. and goes back to his room for some sleep.
SCENE 75
INT. SPACESHIP BASEMENT, DAY 24 — NIGHT
The rabid Dachshund sleeps near its last meal (PEANUTBUTTERGAMER), its drool reflecting ominously in the dark. It has gotten bigger since the last attack. The door slides open. BRADY shines his flashlight into the room and it lands on the dog. The dog stirs.
BRADY
(smiles)
Hey, there you are. You up for a talk?
BRADY looks over his shoulder, then enters the room.
BRADY
(sotto voce)
Are you alright? You must have…
BRADY sees the spot where PBG was last alive. He stops.
BRADY
…already eaten.
The dog "grumbles" and wakes up. It stretches and scratches behind its ear.
BRADY looks at the dog.
BRADY
Can I be your friend?
The dog stands up and walks to BRADY. It sniffs at BRADY. He pets its big head.
BRADY
Don't worry about my friends. They are VERY prejudiced towards dogs who happen to be ill, especially that Lynn person. Don't know what's wrong with her.
The dog licks its lips.
BRADY
Having rabies doesn't define you, you know that? You've killed my best friend and, like, two more, but we'll find a way to CURE you. You'll give us a chance, right? You'll let us try to help, right?
The dog sneers, almost "smiling".
Just then ANTDUDE, SCARFULHU, IAN and LYNN come running into the basement, all armed with weapons. LYNN sticks closely behind SCARFULHU.
SCARFULHU
BRADY, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FOCKING MIND?! GET THE FOCK AWAY FROM HIM NOW!!!
BRADY ignores his friends.
BRADY
PLEASE let us try……
The dog opens its mouth, flashing its giant shiny fangs.
In a flash it starts whimpering. Something is stuck in its teeth. It scampers away in pain. The Creators grab BRADY by the hand and pull him out of the room.
SCENE 76
INT. SPACESHIP HALLWAYS, DAY 24 — NIGHT
The Creators get as far away from the basement as possible.
IAN
That was my favourite sword. I had ONE shot, Brady. It better be worth it.
They run up a flight of stairs. BRADY suddenly resists their pull.
BRADY
Guys, I'm tired of running! That thing ate James. It's probably gonna eat us all anyway!
SCARFULHU
Brady, we've got just SIX more days–
BRADY
And I'm NOT going to spend those days living in fear!
(gestures at LYNN)
YOU wanna spend the rest of your life fearing something that could be tamed?!
LYNN rolls her eyes. "TAMED"?!
BRADY
(apologetic)
No offense, Lynn.
ANTDUDE
Brady, we programmed this dog, but there's NO fighting it. There's NO WAY to cure it. The only way we can "save" it is to PUT IT DOWN or avoid it.
A pause.
BRADY
No matter what we do, it's not gonna bring back James or the others anyway, is it?
ANTDUDE sighs.
ANTDUDE
No, I'm afraid not.
BRADY
……can I at least try?
ANTDUDE
To what?
BRADY
I know you and James are rivals and all that shit — that technically makes you MY rival, too — but can you at least let me try?
ANTDUDE
To WHAT?
BRADY doesn't say anything and just dashes downstairs.
ANTDUDE
BRADY, WAIT!
They dash after him.
CUT TO:
SCENE 77
INT. SPACESHIP BASEMENT, DAY 24 — NIGHT
BRADY enters the room again and greets the dog like an old friend. The dog "smiles" as if it knew he would come back all along.
BRADY
(hospitably)
Hey, I'm back.
The dog lets him come closer.
BRADY
Everyone needs friends, doggy. Even YOU. People can laugh all they want, but I'm NOT going to turn down a chance to make a new friend. You're not called man's best friend for nothing. You ATE my friend. If you've absorbed his skills and personality, you probably ARE a good friend by now, right?
ANTDUDE watches, finding it hard to swallow.
ANTDUDE
Brady's lost it……
SCARFULHU
(miserable)
No, come b-back……
LYNN squeezes her eyes shut.
BRADY
We programmed you to be our enemy, but can we TRY to be friends? It must be lonely out here, all by yourself, in this vast dark vacuum we call space. Were you once part of a pack? Maybe we can BE your new pack……
BRADY reaches out to pet the dog.
CUT TO the horrified faces of the Creators as dog saliva and human blood splatters everywhere.
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 78
INT. OBSERVATORY, DAY 24 — NIGHT
The remainder of Team Creators stare out the window at the infinite dark space, mourning the loss of half of the team.
ANTDUDE
(blurts)
I'm scared, guys. I don't want to do this anymore. I WANT OUT. I WANT OUT OF THIS GAME.
SCARFULHU
(on the verge of tears)
M-me too.
IAN
You can't be scared. That's what the dog wants.
ANTDUDE
(quivering)
I DON'T CARE! I'M SCARED. If I can find a way out, I'm leaving this fucking shit.
SCARFULHU
(trying to be brave)
F-f-fear is the mind-killer, Antdude. The dog can s-smell our fear……
ANTDUDE
FEAR KEEPS US ALIVE!!!
ANTDUDE cries out and hits the glass window. The observatory falls silent.
LYNN clutches Teddy tightly, wishing she did NOT stick around to pick up after the Youtubers that day.
ANTDUDE
(mumbling)
Fear is the mind-killer… fear is the mind-killer… fear is the mind-killer...
(sharp inhale)
That's BULLSHIT. THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!
(slams glass)
Team Creators wait until their friend has calmed down. When he does, SCARFULHU walks up to ANTDUDE and puts both hands on his shoulders.
SCARFULHU
(very gently)
Anthony, why do you think "fear is the mind-killer" is a bullshit saying?
A beat.
ANTDUDE
Because fear COMPELS me to be prepared for what may ACTUALLY kill me. So I'm going to STAY afraid, thanks. I'm NOT going to be afraid of being afraid. I'm NOT going to be ASHAMED of being afraid.
SCARFULHU
(impressed)
Wow. I… I have not SEEN such bravery. That… That was deep.
IAN
Ahem, that's MY line, Scarf.
SCARFULHU
(to IAN)
Then bring it back in your videos. We've missed it.
ANTDUDE manages a laugh. IAN laughs, too. LYNN smiles for the first time in DAYS.
ANTDUDE turns around and hugs the scarf-wearing mythical monster, grateful for the emotional support. SCARFULHU awkwardly hugs back. IAN and LYNN join them in.
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 79
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 26 — LATE AFTERNOON
SCARFULHU mucks about with the computers and cameras in the control room, trying to detect the exact location of the dog.
He instead uncovers an image of the sewage pipes in the ship, drawing the attention of IAN and ANTDUDE.
ANTDUDE
Are those pipes?
SCARFULHU
Yeah. This is our whole sewage system. All our bathrooms and toilets and showers are connected to this sewage storage funnel here–
(points to the screen)
–where all our waste is eventually disposed of into space. That's how real-life spaceships and space shuttles work…… I think.
IAN
Wow. Glad YOU'RE the engineer here.
ANTDUDE
Hey, I like this round part here.
(points)
It looks like a little Kirby when he hasn't eaten anything yet……
ANTDUDE accidentally touches that spot. That part of the image moves into the empty spot next to it.
ANTDUDE
(surprised)
What the… It's a puzzle? This... this picture is a freakin' PUZZLE?
SCARFULHU
YES, it's a puzzle. So can you please not freakin' touch it?
IAN backs away politely. SCARFULHU presses the square to move it back, but accidentally jumbles up the puzzle instead.
SCARFULHU
Oops.
ANTDUDE
Uh, Scarfie, just for the record, what happens if someone tries to use the bathroom or the toilet or the shower but the pipes are not connected right?
SCARFULHU
Then all waste will be directed HERE until the pipes are fixed again.
IAN
(looking around)
And "here" would be…
SCARFULHU
…RIGHT where we're standing.
A "FLUSH!" is suddenly heard from somewhere in the ship.
CUT TO:
SCENE 80
INT. LYNN'S BEDROOM, DAY 26 — LATE AFTERNOON
LYNN comes out of her toilet clutching her stomach, indicating that she's had a "very bad time".
BACK TO SCENE:
SCENE 81
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 26 — LATE AFTERNOON
The men listen closely as water (and other things) comes down a pipe. It heads closer and closer to the drain hole they're standing right below. The drain hole covers the ENTIRE roof of the main control room.
ANTDUDE and IAN look at each other and scream. They both start pressing random pieces of the puzzle.
CUT TO:
SCENE 82
INT. LYNN'S BATHROOM, DAY 26 — LATE AFTERNOON
Water falls from the shower behind a thick, closed curtain in LYNN's bathtub.
BACK TO SCENE:
SCENE 83
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 26 — LATE AFTERNOON
The men panic more and more as the pipes get more and more messed up. They managed to scramble it all over again. A stressed-out IAN moves off screen. ANTDUDE loses his shit (metaphorically).
ANTDUDE
(dreading)
OH, SHIT! OH, SHIT! OH, SHIIIIIIIT!
SCARFULHU
(to ANTDUDE, sarcastically)
Can you NOT call for it to come down any faster?
CUT TO:
SCENE 84
INT. LYNN'S BATHROOM, DAY 26 — LATE AFTERNOON
LYNN brushes her teeth and spits into the sink. She gargles her mouth with water from a cup, then spits into the sink again.
BACK TO SCENE:
SCENE 85
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 26 — LATE AFTERNOON
IAN starts banging his head on the wall. A closer shot reveals a "BANG HEAD HERE" poster. SCARFULHU, calm and collected, moves the last piece into place and connects the pipes correctly.
SCARFULHU
(triumphantly)
THERE.
A compartment behind the puzzle opens up. There's nothing but a small box in it. Carefully, SCARFULHU touches the box. The box flips open and a sign that says "Congrats on dealing with your own SHIT!" pops up.
ANTDUDE and IAN (who has two bandages forming an "X" on his large forehead) study the box. They look very…… puzzled.
SCARFULHU
(perplexed)
What WERE our teammates thinking? They programmed THIS?
IAN
Maybe they thought a few puzzles in the game would make it look more intelligent.
A sudden pounding comes from the pipes. Something really large seems to be going through them.
IAN
(anxious)
What's that?
ANTDUDE
(to himself)
What HAVE you been eating, Lynn? You're not gonna be another Brady, are you?
ANTDUDE
(dismissive, out loud)
Nah, it's probably nothing. As long as whatever's in those pipes STAYS in those pipes, we're cool, right?
The group nods. They continue studying the mysterious puzzle box.
SLOW FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 86
INT. ANTDUDE'S ROOM, DAY 26 — NIGHT
ANTDUDE sits at his desk, pouring over his (private) notes about how to kill or trap the dog.
He turns around in his chair and spots his favourite Kirby toy, sitting on a pillow on his bed. He gets an "a-HA!" moment.
He opens and hits the "emergency meeting" button in his room. He leaves his room with his laptop.
CUT TO:
SCENE 87
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 26 — NIGHT
ANTDUDE slams his laptop down, opens it, and begins typing madly.
SCARFULHU
What are you doing?
ANTDUDE
(excitedly)
I'm going to change the codes to give myself Kirby powers!
IAN
(raises an eyebrow)
"Kirby Powers"?
ANTDUDE
(excitedly)
YES! If Moose and Caddy can make shit happen to each other via the codes, I can give myself superpowers!
IAN looks away embarrassedly.
ANTDUDE
(excitedly)
If we can make things happen to EACH OTHER but NOT to the dog, then maybe we can make things happen to OURSELVES and solve all our problems with that!
SCARFULHU
(thoughtfully)
I never thought of it that way……
ANTDUDE
Right! And since the dog does NOT become friendly AFTER eating our friends, maybe it'll work this way. Maybe I can use the Kirby powers tos uck in the dog, digest it, and kill it!
IAN
(worried)
Ant, what if you become rabid after doing that? Kirby can ABSORB others' powers, right?
SCARFULHU
(also skeptical)
Yeah, and, also, I think you SHOULDN'T try to alter your physiological capacity with something so…… MODIFIABLE?
ANTDUDE keeps typing anyway.
ANTDUDE
(confidently)
I got this, guys. I GOT this. Kirby has NEVER failed me before. He's never let me down no matter what or who we come across. All it takes is one suck, just ONE SUCK, and the enemy is defeated. How's THAT for killing TWO dogs with one code?
LYNN
(signing)
Dog, RABID!
ANTDUDE
Maybe. BUT, I can create ANOTHER code to make an… antidote of some sort. We can't force the dog to drink it, but after I suck him in and drink the antidote myself, maybe I'll be fine. It's worth a try! Better than sitting around waiting for time to pass and NOT doing anything!
SCARFULHU
Are you CRAZY, Anthony? We don't know how that dog is getting around — he could have been crawling through the SEWAGE PIPES for all we know! He's long and thin and dark enough to get by unnoticed AND our pipes are big enough for him. He could be covered in human AND doggy doo-doo! Ah, SERIOUSLY?!
LYNN covers her mouth as if to hold back from retching.
A glint flashes in ANTDUDE's eye.
ANTDUDE
I'll take one for the team.
The Creators' eyes widen in horror.
IAN
No.
ANTDUDE
Yes.
IAN
NO!
ANTDUDE
YES!
IAN
N-O, NO!
ANTDUDE
Y-E-S, YES!
IAN
YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
ANTDUDE
YES, I CAN! KIRBY KNOWS NO LIMITS! KIRBY IS UNDEFEATABLE!
SCARFULHU
(reasonably)
Anthony, what happened to your philosophy about fear keeping you alive and not being afraid to be afraid?
ANTDUDE
KIRBY! KNOWS! NO! FEEEEEAR!!!
SCARFULHU decides he can't argue with that.
IAN
(determined)
I'm NOT gonna let you program yourself to have Kirby powers. It's too risky.
ANTDUDE
(determined)
TRY ME.
FLASHCUT TO:
SCENE 88
INT. ANTDUDE'S BEDROOM, DAY 26 — NIGHT
ANTDUDE sits on a chair in his room, gagged and tied by the wrists and legs. He struggles but he cannot escape. A few bandaids "decorate" his limbs and face. SCARFULHU holds ANTDUDE's laptop safely away from the Kirby fan's reach. ANTDUDE struggles some more but the ropes only cut into his skin.
IAN
Sorry, Ant. You left us with no choice.
SCARFULHU
Nitro Rad would say you SUCK, so we can't allow you to suck even more.
ANTDUDE
(offended)
Mmm! Mmmmmmmmmmm!
IAN
(to SCARFULHU)
Scarf, keep his laptop with…… with Caddy's and the other guys'.
(to LYNN)
Lynn, you stay here and make sure Ant doesn't escape, okay?
LYNN nods.
IAN and SCARFULHU leave the room. They come back as soon as they leave.
SCARFULHU
THE FOCKING DOG IS HERE!
LYNN gasps.
IAN and SCARFULHU bolt the door shut and barricade it with all the heavy furniture within reach. ANTDUDE squirms and moans, demanding to be untied. His three friends look at him, then at each other, and silently agree that it is for the best.
SCARFULHU
(ungags and unties ANTDUDE)
Remember, we're ONLY untying you because it's easier to run away from a smelly, drooling, beast with TWO free legs and hands.
ANTDUDE
(sarcastically)
Noted.
The dog bangs against the door and rattles the furniture against it. The doorknob breaks.
IAN
If we could make it to the weapons room, we could find something that'll put that thing out of its own misery.
SCARFULHU
I got a screwdriver. I'll open the vent. It's big enough for us to crawl - I'm SURE this time.
As SCARFULHU works, ANTDUDE secretly reaches for his laptop……
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 89
INT. SPACE HALLWAYS, DAY 26 — NIGHT
The Creators drop out from an open vent in the ceiling. They land on their feet silently in a dog-free hallway.
IAN
(sotto voce)
This is NOT the weapons room……
SCARFULHU
(sotto voce)
No, but it's further away from the dog, I hope.
Three of the Creators rush to the weapons room. Mid-way, they stop.
SCARFULHU
Wait, where's Antdude?
They hear a loud barking and dread darkens their faces.
They run to the barking and stop around a corner. ANTDUDE is standing before the larger-than-life Dachshund. He puts his hands up as if he's welcoming the battle of his life; the battle he's been training for.
IAN facepalms. LYNN looks away.
SCARFULHU
(angry and panic)
ANTDUDE!
SCARFULHU watches his overconfident friend.
SCARFULHU
DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE GONNA–
ANTDUDE
BOTTOMS UP, BABY!
ANTDUDE starts sucking the dog in. SCARFULHU faints in disbelief.
IAN
(to LYNN)
LYNN, RUN!
IAN drags SCARFULHU's body away after LYNN. ANTDUDE keeps sucking.
The three Creators get behind a dark corner.
They hold on to something solid (and to SCARFULHU's unconscious body) for dear life as ANTDUDE keeps swallowing air. It's like there's a hailstorm in the ship. Suddenly the wind stops howling. The whole place falls pin-drop silent.
Four beats.
BOOM! Bits of blood and guts explode across the hallway. The stench is MOST AWFUL. The Creators hear some barking, then the sound of heavy pawsteps bounding further and further away.
ANTDUDE's Kirby pin glides across the floor. It hits a wall and stops. LYNN sneaks closer to it. It has broken in two and part of the needle is yanked off.
LYNN lets out a devastated sob. IAN gives her a bear hug.
QUICK FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 90
INT. KITCHEN, DAY 27 — EVENING
IAN finishes screwing a watch on the table and slaps it onto his wrist. SCARFULHU and LYNN look at him, also wearing the same watches.
IAN
Alright, now we can stay in touch if we get separated.
SCARFULHU
(relieved)
Okay, now–
(gestures)
–are we ready for the vents?
IAN
Lead the way.
SCENE 91
INT. SPACESHIP HALLWAYS OUTSIDE A VENT, DAY 27 — EVENING
The trio creep to a large vent, wide enough for them to fit through. SCARFULHU unscrews the bolts and removes the covering. He lets IAN and LYNN crawl in before him.
He tucks the puzzle box (from the pipes puzzle) deeper into his pocket and crawls in after his friends.
SCENE 92
INT. SOMEWHERE IN THE VENTS, DAY 26 — NIGHT
We follow the Creators' (animated) eyes in the dark. Mid-way, IAN stops crawling.
IAN
Oh, shit! I forgot my bag of supplies. It's in my room. Wait here, I'll go get it.
SCARFULHU and LYNN grab IAN's sleeves.
SCARFULHU
It's too late and too dangerous now. Stay here. We'll share our supplies with you.
IAN shakes them loose.
IAN
Trust me, I'll be okay. I know jujitsu.
(shows wristwatch)
We'll stay in touch with these, okay?
His friends let him go. IAN crawls towards the opening they came in from.
LYNN and SCARFULHU anxiously wait for their friend to return. SCARFULHU aims his flashlight at the puzzle box (from behind the pipe puzzle) and tries to figure it out. After a long silence, SCARFULHU speaks up.
SCARFULHU
(still fiddling with the box)
Lynn, tell me something.
LYNN looks up at him.
SCARFULHU
(still fiddling)
You like Ian?
A beat. LYNN shakes her head, denying it.
SCARFULHU
(puts the box down)
It's okay, Lynn. You can tell me things. It's not really THAT hard to figure out anyway, the way your heart rate increases by up to three or four times every time he's around.
(winks coyly)
LYNN blushes deeply and looks away.
SCARFULHU
(sotto voce)
Lynn. I've been vulnerable and exposed, too. I KNOW what it feels like to be put on the spot. I mean, you've seen my NAKED ARSE.
A beat. LYNN grabs SCARFULHU's flashlight and aims it at her face.
LYNN
(signing)
I think I'll stop there.
LYNN puts the flashlight down.
SCARFULHU
(clears throat)
Okay, fine. If you don't feel comfortable talking, I respect that. But let ME tell you something personal.
SCARFULHU takes a deep breath.
SCARFULHU
(rambling)
I think the bloody asteroid has something to do with all of this, y'know…… about how the dog got into the ship and everything. I think it rode the asteroid from space, collided with our engine, crawled INTO the engine and into the vents and hid there, silently, until it's hungry and ready to attack. I think THAT'S what happened. THAT'S what's been happening all this time. Every fockin' opening is secured — with six-inch screws and everything! So it must've gotton in through the fockin' VENTS. Everything's goin' well until the bloody fockin' asteroid hit the fockin' engines!
SCARFULHU stops to breathe.
SCARFULHU
That's probably… the most logical explanation I could think of.
(shrugs)
Two beats. LYNN tilts her head at that "personal" confession.
SCARFULHU
(awkwardly)
It's not really personal, but it's a start.
A sound from the side. IAN crawls back into the vent with his bag of essentials and rejoins his friends. They're relieved to see him alive.
IAN
(proudly)
You know what, guys?
(holds up wrist with watch)
I LOVE this invention of mine. I heard EVERYTHING going on between the two of you while I was gone.
SCARFULHU
Everything?
(looks at his wrist, remembering)
Oh.
IAN
We should've used some sort of communication device since the VERY start of the game. I should have MADE y'all
something from the beginning!
SCARFULHU
So, you heard EVERYTHING on that thing?
IAN
EVERYTHING, including the part of how you thought the dog got into our ship, and–
(eyes dart to the side)
–some other stuff before that. But anyway–
LYNN blushes SO deeply her face practically glows in the dark. She backs away into the darkness, hoping to dissolve into it.
IAN (O.S.)
–these watches not only tell time. They're INCREDIBLY discreet and energy efficient. You can hear the SLIGHTEST signs of life from your team members' like their breathing and heartbeat if you listen REALLY closely. It's a good way to check on people while they're away from you.
SCARFULHU
So, do we still have to wear them even though we'll be together until the end of the game?
IAN
We will NOT take them off until the end of the game, no matter what.
SCARFULHU
(considering)
Okay, sure. I can live with that. It sounds useful.
A moderately long pause as the team considers their current situation.
IAN
(to SCARFULHU)
So… if you THINK the dog has been hiding in the vents, wouldn't it be smart to NOT hide in here?
A beat.
SCARFULHU
Good idea. C'mon, Lynn.
The Creators grab their supplies and crawl towards the vent opening. LYNN follows them close behind, uncomfortably.
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 93
INT. SPACE MIXING ROOM, DAY 27 — NIGHT
The trio rush into the small room and lock and barricade the door.
LYNN settles down. She spots the sheet of lyrics that she wrote and left on the table. She looks away.
IAN
Why here, Scarf?
SCARFULHU
This place is soundproof. We won't be seen, heard, or smelt. Hopefully.
IAN
So we're staying here for three days?
SCARFULHU
(nods)
We're staying for three days. Then game over.
A beat. IAN sees the microphones.
IAN
(gets up)
I'm turning off the sound system. Don't want that stupid dog to ACCIDENTALLY know we're hiding here.
SCARFULHU
(despair)
There's nothing to broadcast anyway. It's just the three of us left……
IAN
(sadly)
Yeah……
In the corner, LYNN looks even sadder.
SCARFULHU
What's wrong, Lynn?
LYNN looks up.
LYNN
(signing)
P.B.G. was here. I heard him sing.
She smiles. A tear rolls down her cheek.
SCARFULHU
(reminiscing)
Yeah, he was good. He was REALLY good.
LYNN closes her eyes and thinks of her late team members.
CLANG! The air-con cover above them breaks open and nearly falls onto LYNN. The Creators scream and scramble to their feet. They rush to the door.
SCARFULHU
HOW THE FOCK DID YOU KNOW WE'RE IN HERE?
SCARFULHU bangs against the door.
IAN
HE MUST HAVE SEEN THE "ON AIR" LIGHTS GO OFF WHEN I TURNED IT OFF!!!
LYNN pulls out the doorknob and the door comes down. She and IAN escape, but the dog manages to seize SCARFULHU by his iconic purple scarf. It pulls him back and starts strangling him. The puzzle box falls out of his pocket.
IAN
CONNOR!
IAN grabs SCARFULHU by the hands and starts pulling back. LYNN helps.
SCARFULHU starts coughing and heaving.
LYNN has had enough. Boldly, she picks up the puzzle box, walks towards the dog, and jams the box straight into its eye. The dog howls in pain and lets go of SCARFULHU. It escapes back into the opening it came from.
DISSOLVE TO:
SCENE 94
INT. SPACE PERFORMANCE HALL, DAY 27 — NIGHT
LYNN and IAN drag SCARFULHU out of the mixing room. They lay him down on the floor and remove his scarf. His face had turned somewhat blue, almost complementing the purple of his scarf.
IAN
I'll get the Breathing Aid.
(dashes out of the room)
SCARFULHU struggles to breathe. His wristwatch beeps. LYNN removes the tight accessory from her friend and presses a flashing red button.
A voice message in SCARFULHU's voice comes out.
SCARFULHU
Lynn, I forgot to tell you. I regret to say that Ian already has a boyfriend.
LYNN jumps back. She looks at SCARFULHU, barely breathing herself.
SCARFULHU
Get out of this game, so that Ian can return to HIS love, and YOU can go find yours.
LYNN starts tearing up.
SCARFULHU
Au revoir, mademoiselle. We'll meet again. Soon.
The watch makes a sweet kissing sound and its screen fades to black. SCARFULHU closes his eyes and his body falls limp.
LYNN gasps and puts a finger to his nose to feel for any breathing.
CUT TO:
SCENE 95
INT. SPACE HALLWAYS, DAY 27 — EVENING
LYNN leaves the performance hall, zombified.
She sees IAN running towards her. She hears him calling out her name, but she barely registers either input.
IAN runs to her with a breathing device and a First Aid kit in his hands.
IAN
(panting)
Lynn! Lynn, Scarfulhu. How's he doing?
LYNN staggers over to her last friend, holding the watch and the iconic purple scarf. She looks IAN in the face, her expression blank.
IAN puts down the tools and studies her.
IAN
(concerned)
Lynn?
LYNN crashes into IAN, dropping the belongings. She hugs him and begins sobbing uncontrollably. IAN suddenly gets it. He hugs her back. He begins crying as well.
Long shot of the two remaining Creators hugging and crying it out as SCARFULHU's bloodied and broken scarf lies on the ground.
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 96
INT. SPACESHIP, DAY 28 — ALL TIME
MONTAGE of LYNN following IAN everywhere around the ship, NOT letting him out of her sight even for a bit. She wears her necklace and carries some sort of weapon with her wherever they both go.
SCENE 97
INT. KITCHEN, DAY 28 — MORNING
LYNN watches over IAN as he has his breakfast.
IAN
Do you know my boyfriend HATES chocolate?
LYNN shakes her head.
IAN
So every Valentines' Day, I get him ONLY chocolate biscuits. They're just as good.
LYNN smiles and nods acceptingly.
SCENE 98
INT. KITCHEN, DAY 29 — LATE AFTERNOON
IAN and LYNN decide to have a last dinner together, before the day ends. LYNN pulls up a baby chair for IAN's Teddy to sit on. IAN microwaves two easy meals for LYNN.
He prepares his coffee and lets it cool for a bit at the table. A drop of water drops into his cup from a gap in the ceiling. No one notices.
IAN places both meals on the table. LYNN gets up to make her coffee. IAN takes a sip of his own.
The pair eat quietly. As the meal proceeds, IAN starts looking more and more uncomfortable. He coughs, then gets up to take a tablet of stomach medicine. He sits back down and tries to eat again. Then he gets up after 15 minutes to take some flu medicine. LYNN looks at him, concerned.
LYNN finishes the last of her meal while IAN, only half of his. IAN gets up.
IAN
I need to use the bathroom. Finish your meal. N-no need to follow me, okay?
LYNN nods and lets IAN have his privacy.
LYNN sips on her hot coffee slowly, taking in every drop.
She gets up and tosses the her meal plate away and her empty mug into the sink, deciding she can forget about doing the dishes for the last two days.
SCENE 99
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE MEN'S BATHROOM, DAY 29 — LATE AFTERNOON
IAN staggers to the men's toilet, leaning against the walls for support.
SCENE 100
INT. KITCHEN, DAY 29 — EVENING
LYNN waits and waits and waits for IAN to come back, but he never returns. She looks at the clock. Only 31 more hours before the game ends.
Worried but resolute, she gets up and takes Teddy with her, leaving the kitchen.
SCENE 101
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE MEN'S BATHROOM, DAY 29 — EVENING
LYNN runs down the hallway to the men's bathroom. She waits outside. No one comes out. She knocks on the door. No answer. She kicks the door. It was unlocked.
LYNN tugs at the collar of her shirt, feeling awkward. But deciding there's no one inside, she enters.
LYNN opens every stall door. Everything looks spick and span. She opens the last stall in the row and jumps back in shock.
She runs out of the bathroom, covering her nose and mouth and trying not to puke all over herself.
SCENE 102
INT. ENGINE ROOM, DAY 29 — EVENING
LYNN unlocks the engine room door with her keycard and it slides open. She looks around. The ship's giant engine lies just underneath the platform she's on.
She moves carefully across the narrow bridges and landings, holding Teddy tight. One wrong move, she knows, and she could be converted into doggy doo-doo herself via digestion.
She tiptoes across a steel bridge and sees IAN on the other end. His back is turned to her and he is clutching the rails tightly on both sides, breathing heavily.
LYNN sneaks up to him.
LYNN
(timidly)
I-Ian?
IAN does not move or answer. LYNN steps closer. She reaches out and tickles him to get a reaction out of him. Nothing.
She tries and tries again at different spots. She even resorts to poking and kicking him (lightly) where his body can take it. But IAN still stands as still and silent as a statue. It does not sound like he's breathing.
LYNN swallows.
LYNN
(a little louder)
Ian?
IAN looks over his shoulder and reveals one-half of his pretty face. LYNN sighs with relief (and blushes slightly).
IAN turns around fully and reveals a giant bite mark on the other side of his face, his skin completely torn off. LYNN regurgitates a bit of her coffee and dinner.
IAN looks at LYNN with a mad glint in his eye. He sneers and begins growling. Some drool drops from his mouth.
LYNN turns on her heels and flees, crying uncontrollably. IAN shoots after her, running on two legs but buckling down as if about to go on fours from time to time.
SCENE 103
INT. CADDY'S BEDROOM, DAY 29 — EVENING
LYNN runs into the lead programmer's room and bolts the door shut. She grabs CADDY's extra laptop and turns it on.
IAN reaches the door and starts scratching at it, gnashing and growling away.
In the codes window, she enters the code "lynn_expecto_patronum" and presses Enter.
LYNN closes her eyes and concentrates. Slowly, a silvery-blue mist emerges from her body. The mist takes shape and forms an image of a Wolf. The Wolf floats towards the thick steel door and goes through it. IAN sees the Wolf and stops making noise. The Wolf takes a friendly sniff at him and licks him in the face, trying to heal the wound and bring the old IAN back.
It doesn't work. IAN ignores the Wolf and roars at the door. The patronus disappears with a POFF!
LYNN enters an open vent and crawls out of CADDY's bedroom, leaving the laptop behind.
DISSOLVE TO:
SCENE 104
INT. WEAPONS ROOM, DAY 29 — NIGHT
LYNN peeks out from a hole in the ground. She has only been in this room once. The camera ZOOMS OUT to reveal long swords, bows and arrows, firearms and all sorts of ammunition stored there.
A sign to LYNN's left says "Weapons Room".
LYNN hears a sound behind her.
IAN charges and bangs against the door. LYNN gets out of the hole and hides somewhere.
IAN opens the door with his keycard in his mouth. He enters and starts sniffing LYNN out with his enhanced sense of smell.
LYNN is hiding behind some boxes marked "TNT". She decides she's NOT going to set them off because not all video games work the same way cartoons do. She moves very carefully and silently, and holds her breath whenever she thinks IAN is listening. She is very well aware that the smell of her regurgitated food and drink is making IAN's job easier for him.
As IAN keeps sniffing her out, LYNN makes her way behind a tall display shelf containing various designs of swords. LYNN retches internally at the idea of having to stab her crush in the heart (or brain) to defeat him, but verrrrry carefully, she removes a long sword from the display.
Oops! The clumsy LYNN knocks over the display shelf and the swords come crashing down.
LYNN runs out an exit while IAN is distracted by the racket.
CUT TO:
SCENE 105
INT. DEEPER INTO THE WEAPONS ROOM, DAY 29 — NIGHT
LYNN finds herself in another room full of MORE traps and weapons. They are unfriendlier, scarier, and more primitive here. Everything has at least one sharp point. There are no walls to block off any views. There is nowhere to hide anymore.
IAN comes bounding in. LYNN climbs up some ladders and reaches the highest spot in the room. She kicks down some barrels and boxes and blocks off every possible access to her position.
Like a mad dog barking up the wrong tree, IAN keeps scrambling for her, trying to infect her. LYNN's having NONE of it. The walls are too slippery for either of them to climb down or up. LYNN decides she's NOT going down as long as IAN is still alive.
LYNN moves along, careful not to lose her balance. IAN follows her every step and makes sure he is always DIRECTLY under her.
LYNN sees a platform with spikes protruding from its underpart. Directly beneath her, an area of the floor is boarded off. The letters "KEEP AWAY FROM THIS AREA" are painted in bright yellow.
It would NOT be fun to be crushed under that thing. LYNN leaps onto that platform. Naturally, IAN follows after her. He struggles to get into the boarded area. LYNN has (hopefully) enough time to find the trigger for the spiky platform and bring it down on IAN when he's IN the area!
LYNN jumps off the spiky platform and runs into a small room. IAN growls as she gets further away from him. The barriers boarding the area begin to break.
LYNN pushes, pulls and flicks every button, lever and switch she sees. One button gives her the result she needs.
IAN tears through the barriers and continues his pursuit of LYNN. LYNN slams the button down. The spiky platform screeches to life.
LYNN goes out to watch.
IAN looks up. Too late.
LYNN squeezes her eyes shut as the spikes slam into the last Youtuber, bloodying the entire room.
SLOWLY DISSOLVE TO:
SCENE 106
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 30 — PAST MIDNIGHT
LYNN drags herself into the Main Control Room, her breathing ragged and shallow. She opens the vitals screen.
All seven of her friends have flatlined. She looks at IAN's monitor. The beat she has fallen in love with has fallen silent. To be sure of that, she plugs in her earphones from her pocket and listens hard.
Silence.
LYNN breaks down and falls to the floor. She slaps herself on the wrist seven times.
She pulls at her necklace and breaks it by the rope. She throws the whole thing away and it rolls under a desk.
LYNN does not get up to pick it up. She is ready to die here, where she deserves, with her friends.
She wipes her mouth with a finger and sniffs it. Coffee. She blinks a few times and becomes furious with herself. She gets up and leaves the room.
CUT TO:
SCENE 107
INT. SPACE PANTRY, DAY 30 — MORNING
LYNN bursts into the pantry and opens every drawer she sees. She throws bags of coffee beans and instant coffee onto a pile on the ground. Then she stomps on them as if they are now the very banes of her existence.
Some of the bags and packets break and the contents spill all over the floor. LYNN keeps stomping until she collapses from exhaustion. She lies there miserably, sobbing in a sticky, messy heap of what used to be one of her most favourite things.
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 108
INT. SPACE PANTRY, DAY 30 — AFTERNOON
LYNN awakes to the sound of some pounding from the vents. It sounds like it was coming from the engine room. LYNN realises what it is and heads to the control room, dusting coffee beans and powder off her clothes.
SCENE 109
INT. MAIN CONTROL ROOM, DAY 30 — AFTERNOON
LYNN runs in and activates the security door. She puts the entire control room on lockdown. She then grabs a screwdriver and screws all vent coverings tightly, making sure NOTHING comes in to bother her.
She sits tightly and waits. She checks the date on M.J.. Eleven more hours to go. The last day. Just 11 more hours, and this nightmare will be over.
The unbeeping sounds on the vitals screen bother LYNN. She unplugs the whole damn thing. She need not be reminded of her personal and social failures.
Three beats.
CRASH! The dog bursts right through the security door. LYNN should've known her chosen comfort corner was not enough to shut the rabid creature out. The dog enters and eyes LYNN hungrily.
LYNN grabs the screwdriver — any weapon would do by now — and points it at her dribbling enemy. Shuddering violently, she stands up and faces the beast. Her voice shakes but she speaks.
LYNN
You want a s-SPIT in the eye this time, you MAD DOG?
The dog lunges at her and chases LYNN around the control room.
LYNN jumps on tables and ducks under them, but could never outrun or fully dodge the dog. LYNN regrets screwing the vents and locking herself in with the dog. M.J.'s clock displays ten more hours. LYNN is SO CLOSE!
LYNN dives behind M.J. and hides. The giant dog, now at its peak size, sniffs around the room for LYNN. Her sweat and fear does not make things easier. She backs up deeper and deeper behind the server, attempting to hide her shadow and the sound of her breathing.
She suddenly feels something hard behind her. Using the tips of her fingers, she guides the object into her view. It was the pendant of her necklace that she broke off while grieving her friends' death, still containing the rabies vaccine.
That's her ONE way out of this game!
LYNN strategically waits until the dog is close enough, and breaks out of her hiding place, knowing the server over. She charges towards the dog, needle in hand, but the dog is faster. It seizes LYNN by the right arm and sinks its teeth into it.
LYNN drops her weapon and howls in pain. The dog laughs with glee as its bite infects the last player.
The vaccine rolls away into a far corner of the room. LYNN doesn't have much time left. LYNN knows that the closer the bite is to the brain, the quicker the victim becomes infected.
She struggles but she cannot pry her holed arm loose from those Basilisk-sized fangs. To tear her arm out of its socket is easier thought than done.
The dog starts flinging her around, attempting to hit her head against something and knock her out cold. With every smash, LYNN is sure she broke at least three bones, or tore a ligament.
The dog smashes LYNN right where the vaccine is. LYNN picks it up with her free hand, the exposed needle pricking her a little.
The vaccine has become contaminated with LYNN's cells, but she has no other choice.
The dog throws LYNN into the air and opens its mouth wide underneath her.
As LYNN falls closer and closer to the dog, she knows it's NOW OR NEVER.
With one final battle cry, LYNN slams the needle straight into the dog's brain.
SUDDEN CUT TO BLACK UPON IMPACT.
SCENE 110
INT. GAMING CENTER AUDITORIUM, A MONTH LATER — MORNING
FADE IN: LYNN stands alone onstage in a crowded auditorium. Above her, a banner reads "Best Youtuber Game Awards". Her hands are grasped tightly and she looks anything but present.
The crowd hushes as the LEAD JUDGE of the awards walks to the podium.
The LEAD JUDGE takes the mic.
LEAD JUDGE
Good morning, everyone. Today, as I've promised you all, is the day we honour the Creative Ones who have lost the battle against their own Creation. Please allow me to present you, TEAM CREATORS.
The curtains behind LYNN part. A large picture-slide displaying all seven of the fallen space cadets is shown. They are smiling, looking good, being silly and living their best lives.
LEAD JUDGE
The names, or should I say the USERNAMES, of these Creators are: Brutalmoose, Caddicarus, Nitro Rad and Friend, AntDude, PeanutButterGamer and Scarfulhu.
The audience applauds the identities and legacies of the lives lost. LYNN stares at the the pictures blankly.
A beat.
LEAD JUDGE
These Creators entered their game as a team. But unfortunately, not ALL of the team members survived their very first run.
LYNN stares blankly into space, NOT missing actual space.
LEAD JUDGE (O.S.)
They were shown to be vigilant and had team spirit, but they were defeated by the VERY villain that they have digitally manifested.
BACK TO LEAD JUDGE:
LEAD JUDGE
Their game, "Save Yourselves!", is now considered to be a dangerous human trap, disguised as entertainment. And for this reason, I am compelled to DISQUALIFY them from the B.Y.G.A..
Some of the audience members sigh.
LEAD JUDGE
However, we, as a gaming community, are about more than rules or punishment. We reward displays of POSITIVE TRAITS, whether or not they have anything to do with gaming or making games. So, allow me– (picks up an award)
–to present this Award Of Bravery to the ACCIDENTAL member of Team Creators.
LYNN keeps staring into space, unenthused.
LEAD JUDGE (O.S.)
She was not here, in this auditorium, as a contestant, originally, and she did NOT help to create "Save Yourselves!". But her courage, intelligence, quick-thinking and quick-acting skills has allowed her to become the SOLE SURVIVOR of the team, and thus the carrier of her teammates' legacies.
EXTREME CLOSE UP of LYNN's eyes. She looks VERY apathetic about that statement.
LEAD JUDGE
I present to you,
(gestures)
Tung Lynn Li, Content Creator and Writer.
The audience applauds as LYNN forces herself to move towards the podium. The LEAD JUDGE beams and happily presents her the award. LYNN takes it. The LEAD JUDGE then salutes her in the manner of a space commander. LYNN salutes back.
LYNN
Ow!
LYNN's metallic, amputated arm hit the side of her head. She salutes again, more slowly and gently. The LEAD JUDGE shakes her artificial hand. They turn and pose for the cameras.
LYNN does not smile as reporters call out her name and cameras from all over the country flash in front of her.
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 111
EXT. GRAVEYARD, VALENTINES' DAY — LATE MORNING
LYNN walks past a bright yellow "NO DOGS ALLOWED" sign on the gate.
With a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates in her amputated hand and Teddy in the other, LYNN approaches the line of graves where her favourite people are buried.
She stands in front of them and breathes in the smell of her flowers. She smiles sadly. She goes to the first grave of the line. She kneels down.
LYNN
(to SCARFULHU)
Bonjour, monsieur. We meet again. Like you said we would.
She pauses.
LYNN
I've always loved your accent. Too bad we can't talk anymore.
(laughs)
But I bet ghosts look good with pretty, ghostly accessories on. Accessories like SCARVES. Bring them the style where they need it, yeah?
LYNN blows a kiss and puts it on SCARFULHU's grave. She adds a rose and a chocolate. She moves on to the next grave.
LYNN
(to PEANUTBUTTERGAMER)
You're my favourite Peanut Butter Sandwich of all time, toasted or not. And you sing pretty well even with only 1% of your power. Say hi to Scooby and the rest of the gang for me.
LYNN kisses the grave and places a rose on the ground. She removes a little Scooby Snack from the chocolate box and places it next to the rose.
A round, pink and happy Kirby plush sits on ANTDUDE's tombstone.
LYNN
(to ANTDUDE)
You were the bravest of us all. You were the only one who admitted that he was NOT AFRAID TO BE AFRAID. My deepest admiration for your courage and persistence.
A kiss, a rose, and a chocolate. LYNN moves on.
BRADY's grave is next. LYNN grins.
LYNN
(to BRADY)
That was some fart back there. Got us out of a tight spot, you did. Do spicy taco chips exist in heaven? You won't have to worry about clogging toilets anymore, at least.
A kiss, a rose and a chocolate. LYNN moves on, still smiling.
A picture of JAMES in his signature purple Rayman sweater adorned his tombstone like a jewel.
LYNN
(to JAMES)
You're the most charming and charismatic showman-slash-game-designer I've ever seen. The name Nitro Rad will live on with Rayman's. Please keep rocking that sweater for me.
A kiss, a rose and a chocolate. Next!
Pictures of CADDICARUS's family and Crash Bandicoot surround the lead programmer's photo.
LYNN
(to CADDY)
I'm gonna miss your videos, your skits and your funny edits, especially about games that I HAVE played. Oh, well. Maybe someday I'll make a review of an Asterix game myself and upload it to Youtube. And then grow my own channel, if I want to. Maybe. Someday.
A kiss, a rose and a chocolate (of a British brand).
Finally, LYNN kneels before IAN's grave. A box of chocolate biscuits and a bouquet of flowers already lie there, signifying that IAN's boyfriend has already visited. LYNN puts her last rose and chocolate next to the things, careful not to touch them. She stares at IAN's photo on his tombstone for a long time.
LYNN
After all this time you still look so DAMN good.
(chuckles)
She pauses and tucks her hair behind her ear.
LYNN
I can't go on like this forever, Ian. Help me out here. Stop whatever you're doing. Stop looking so good. Stop looking so damn PRETTY, goddammit. I can't do this forever, man.
LYNN glances at CADDY's grave next door and remembers his "rivalry" with IAN.
LYNN
(points at CADDY)
No laughing. I got business here.
A beat.
LYNN
(to IAN's grave)
You left Teddy behind with me. You said I could only BORROW him, not keep him. I'm not the kind of person who takes what isn't hers, so, here.
LYNN places Teddy against IAN's tombstone.
A beat.
LYNN
Now I'm going to have to ask YOU to give me back what isn't yours. Gimme back what you stole from me since the day you booped my nose. That was about three months ago. That's enough suffering on my part. Give it back please, in one piece. I don't think you'll need it anymore.
BIRD'S EYE VIEW shot of LYNN kneeling by the last grave in the line.
LYNN
(somewhat desperate)
Give it back, please. I'm gonna need it back. I'll give you……
(thinks)
Nah, three days isn't reasonable. How about a month? I'll give you
(boops IAN's picture on the nose)
ONE MONTH. One month should do. Yeah, one or two. So–
(boops)
–ONE.
(boops)
MORE.
(boops)
MONTH.
(boops)
Get it?
LYNN sighs. She looks at Teddy. She pats and strokes him on the head.
LYNN
You've been a REAL friend, Teddy. I'm gonna miss you so much. So much more than you think.
LYNN keeps stroking Teddy.
LYNN
Now you can be IAN'S best friend again. So long, partner.
LYNN stands up and steps back. She takes one last look at her friends' graves and signs "Goodbye". Then she turns away and leaves the cemetery.
FADE TO BLACK.
SCENE 112
EXT. NEW YORK CITY, ANOTHER MONTH LATER — LATE EVENING
FADE IN: a wide shot of New York City during the Golden Hour. Everything is covered in a warm, glorious shade of yellow, gold and orange from the setting sun.
SCENE 113
EXT. SOMEWHERE IN NYC, ANOTHER MONTH LATER — LATE EVENING
LYNN and her best friend HONEY walk down some stairs. LYNN stops at a landing to admire the scenery.
LYNN
(breathless)
It's beautiful out here.
HONEY
(cheerfully)
C'mon, Lynn!
HONEY takes LYNN by the metal arm. They keep going.
SCENE 114
EXT. CAB STATION DOWNTOWN, ANOTHER MONTH LATER — LATE EVENING
LYNN and HONEY walk towards an open cab. The CAB DRIVER smiles and welcomes them in. The women get into the backseat.
CUT TO:
SCENE 115
INT. INSIDE THE CAB, ANOTHER MONTH LATER — LATE EVENING
HONEY gets in beside LYNN and closes the cab door.
HONEY
(to the CAB DRIVER)
Wrights Bookstore Café, Manhattan.
CAB DRIVER
Okay, miss!
HONEY
Thank you, sir.
The CAB DRIVER punches the location into his Waze and drives off.
The CAB DRIVER turns on the radio and blasts music at a moderate volume. LYNN safely lets out an audible yawn in the backseat, covering her mouth. HONEY nudges LYNN.
HONEY
(sotto voce)
It's a bookstore-café. You're not excited?
LYNN
(sotto voce)
I am. I'm just thinking.
HONEY
(sotto voce)
'Bout what?
LYNN
(sotto voce, flatly)
Mmm? About how I'm living life and getting on like normal and even going on dates trying to meet new people even though, like, seven lives were lost just over three months ago.
HONEY inhales, then exhales.
HONEY
(sotto voce)
It wasn't your fault, Lynn.
LYNN
(sotto voce)
So it's theirs? THEY made the game and IT killed them. So it's THEIR fault? THEY caused their own deaths?
HONEY
(sotto voce)
Shit happens, Lynn. They made the game and tried to play it but shit happens and they couldn't save themselves.
LYNN
(sotto voce)
Seven lives taken away from us in just TWO WEEKS is BEYOND the acceptable level of shit.
HONEY
(sotto voce)
I never said shit is always acceptable.
The cab moves along through moderate traffic towards Manhattan.
LYNN
(sotto voce, suddenly)
I don't think I deserve the award at all. I DIDN'T create the game. I DIDN'T help to create it. I just happened to BE in it with them at the wrong time. I didn't WANT to be in it. I shouldn't be getting an award just for NOT DYING in a video game. I-I'm not a winner, I'm just a survivor.
HONEY
(sotto voce)
That's how a LOT of video games work these days. It's too easy now. You jump or do a thing and you already get rewarded for it.
LYNN
(sotto voce)
Am I out of the game yet, or are we all living in a big simulation and are unaware of it?
HONEY
(sotto voce)
Lynn–
The taxi slows down to a stop at the curb.
CAB DRIVER
That'd be twelve dollars.
HONEY covers the fee and both women leave the car.
CUT TO:
SCENE 116
EXT. OUTSIDE WRIGHTS BOOKSTORE CAFÉ, ANOTHER MONTH LATER — LATE EVENING
LYNN and HONEY approach the bookstore-café where LYNN is to meet her date.
HONEY
(sternly but kindly)
Lynn, I know what this is about.
They stop.
HONEY
You're still not over one of those Youtuber guys, are you?
LYNN
(awkwardly)
I'm…… I'm still working on it.
HONEY
(smiles)
Let this new guy help you.
(winks)
Call me when you need anything, okay?
LYNN
Okay.
HONEY leaves for the boutique just a block away. LYNN takes out her phone, ready to call her friend just in case the date goes south.
LYNN sits down at a table outside. A waiter brings her the menu and she smiles at him politely.
Soon enough, a cute guy shows up and sits at LYNN's table. LYNN smiles and greets him. She lets him do most of the talking. He has his back towards the camera. But from LYNN's body language, we can see that she's relaxing more and more as the guy keeps talking.
The camera slowly PANS OUT of the café and captures the hustle n' bustle of New York City in the evening.
FADE TO BLACK.
CREDITS ROLL.
THE SONG "OBVIOUS" (WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY DIRECTOR SCREENWRITER TUNG LYNN LI) PLAYS.
FOLLOWED BY "UGLY MUTTS" (ALSO WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY TLL).
FOLLOWED BY A VIDEO PERFORMANCE OF "NEVER TURN BACK" (BY CRUSH 40) BY THE MAIN CAST IN AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE (ASL).