1 Nov 1998

Hermione returned to Hogwarts early on Sunday morning and instead of trying to sneak into Gryffindor tower, she made her way to the Prefect's bathroom to take a quick shower and change into the spare outfit she had shrunken down to fit into her bag. At six in the morning, she could pretend she had just woken up early.

She looked herself over in the mirror and sighed. She hated being back in her loose jumpers, denims, trainers, and wild hair. It felt like such a betrayal to the night she had just had. Living two lives was not something she liked. She wanted to be at school but sometimes she just wished she could be at Hogwarts as her true self.

It didn't help that Lucius had fucked her all night long. Drunk on the lust Voldemort sent through their marks, he had stayed hard for hours. She'd taken more than one healing potion to be able to keep up with him and to keep her cunt from being rubbed raw.

Their goodbye had been bittersweet as he licked her pussy until she came all over his face and he begged her to stay another day. When she said she couldn't, he'd invited her to come to the manor with Draco for Christmas and she had readily agreed. Her parents were gone and it would be nice to live as her true self for the holiday.

Leaving the bathroom, she was on her way to the tower when she bumped into Harry, Ron, Ginny, and the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch teams. At Professor McGonagall's insistence, the R.A.V.E.N. students had their own teams that played each other. Ron said being able to play Quidditch made going back to school worth it.

"What are you doing up?" she asked them.

Harry pointed over his shoulder to Dean Thomas. "Katie isn't going to be back in time to play in our next game so Dean is replacing her."

Hermione gave Dean a big smile. "Congratulations, Dean. Good luck!"

"Thanks, Hermione. You gonna come watch us practice?" Dean asked.

"I have assignments to catch up on, but I promise to be at the match cheering you on."

She waved at her friends and made her way up to her dorm to grab her books. She'd get a quick breakfast then head to the library. She wasn't behind on her homework, but she wanted to get ahead in case she was called out on another raid. Voldemort had told her he wouldn't need her before the end of the term, but it was better to be prepared.

2 Nov 1998

Snape watched Hermione in class and could tell she was planning something. He really didn't want her to be. Not today. It was only two days after Halloween, his least favourite day of the year. And like every year, he was mourning the day he'd lost Lily. He'd been unable to bury his pain in firewhisky on Halloween, so he'd done it the night before and was currently paying for it in a hangover that even his potions couldn't fully cure.

He'd loved Lily from before he'd even really met her. Coming from a poor, abusive home, she had been like a beam of sunshine in his dark world. As soon as they'd talked, she'd taken him under her wing and they became the best of friends. His crush had only intensified as they went to Hogwarts.

But being in different houses wasn't easy on their friendship. During the ten months they spent in Scotland, they talked less and less. They tried to meet weekly in an unused classroom on the fourth floor, but each year that lessened.

But during the summers, everything was different. After second year, she'd asked him if he wanted to learn how to kiss by practising on each other. Then the next year they'd learned how to touch each other. His first non-wet-dream orgasm had been by her hand on her floral bedspread just days after getting off the Hogwarts Express. The summer after fourth year, they'd moved from hands to mouths and two nights before they'd returned to school, her parents had gone out and they'd lost their virginity to each other.

Then the stress of O.W.L.s and who they were friends with began to catch up with them. Every time they would meet in the classroom, it would turn to an argument about his friends or the Marauders. She refused to believe that his friends had any redeeming qualities or that James, Sirius, Remus, or Peter were more sinister than just pranksters.

He had been beyond distraught when she refused to forgive him after he called her a Mudblood. He knew she made valid points when she said he couldn't call everyone else of her blood status that, then pretend to see her differently. But he couldn't understand why she wouldn't forgive him. Didn't she know she was the best thing in his life?

That summer when they got off the Hogwarts Express, they boarded the Muggle train that would take them up to Cokeworth. It was a long ride and they had talked the entire time. She had told him that whilst she could forgive him for what he'd said, she couldn't continue to be close to him if he was going to be on one side of the upcoming war and she was going to be on the other. They had both shed tears as they talked and he felt they had the closure they needed.

Over the next two years, he got over his crush on her. He still hated it when she started dating James Potter. Not because he still loved her but because the asshole wasn't worthy of her.

And then school ended, his parents died, and she married Potter. Within months of their wedding, she showed up on his doorstep. He hadn't seen her in over a year and she looked sick and like she hadn't been eating. He was about to find James and kill him when she stopped him. She was pregnant and none of the potions available were working.

He'd spent two days straight creating a potion that would make her better. He'd told Voldemort about the prophecy, never imagining that it would be about his Lily. And even though Harry was born at the end of July and his Lord determined that would be the child that would be his downfall, Severus didn't hesitate to help Lily when she came to him again.

Harry was sick. Her baby wasn't going to make it. The potions available were too strong for a baby his size.

It didn't even take him twelve hours to create what he needed to help Harry survive.

He knew what Dumbledore thought — that he had defected from the Death Eaters, became a double-agent, because he was still in love with Lily. The truth was that he had started to have doubts within months of joining. He had willingly taken the Mark the day after he graduated. He had grown up with the worst kind of Muggles and it wasn't like his father was the only man that beat his wife and child in his town.

Besides Mr Evans — an exceptionally loving man — every father he knew used a strong hand and a belt when it came to their family. Severus wasn't the only child at his primary school covered in bruises and looking half-starved in hand-me-down clothing. That was the norm. That was the reality of his town.

Voldemort used his hatred of men like his father and the other men in his town and played on that until Severus hated all Muggle men. He had joined with the promise of power, riches, and a comfortable life.

The Dark Lord had paid for his Potions Mastery and Severus had flown through the program, becoming the youngest master in history. But then Voldemort sent him out on his first raid. It was nothing like he had expected. His fellow Death Eaters weren't out to painlessly kill Muggles. They were torturing and raping people of all ages until they'd had their fill. Only then did they kill them.

That is not what Severus wanted. He had joined because he wanted to be seen as better than other people. To finally be valued for his brains and talents. Voldemort had said nothing about the activities he saw. He had told Severus it was all about using force only when necessary. And he had believed that the entire time he was creating potions and poisons.

Even without the prophecy being about Lily he wanted out. And no matter what anyone thought, he hadn't run back to Voldemort and told him what he'd heard. The Dark Lord had summoned him and ripped the information from his mind. Severus might be the most skilled Occlumens now, but he wasn't when he was twenty.

But he knew Dumbledore. The man would never believe him if he said he had a change of heart. That man didn't believe people could change. He only believed in one thing and that was in the power of love. He wasn't a bad man; he was a broken man that had been burned in love. And that burn had left the deepest of scars that impacted how Dumbledore saw everything.

So he played up his love of Lily. He pretended that his Patronus was a doe because she was the keeper of his heart. Dumbledore would never understand that it was a doe because the only happy memories Severus had were with Lily. That she was still the only true joy he'd experienced.

And then, seventeen years ago, both Voldemort and Dumbledore had failed him. He had begged both of them to spare the Potters. He tried to convince the Dark Lord that there was no way a baby could defeat him. He tried to get Dumbledore to protect the Potters, all of them, not just Lily. But both attempts had failed and he had lost his best friend, his source of joy, that night.

And even though so many years had passed, he still hated Halloween.

But then he looked at Miss Granger again. She was in her see-through shirt and short skirt like always. As he walked around the room her scent washed over him, the one that was perfectly tailored to him and he felt his resolve crumbling.

It didn't matter that he'd been with Bridget a little over a week ago and could call her to see her again. It didn't matter that Hermione was his student. It didn't matter that sex wasn't the answer.

The only thing that mattered was that he wanted to spend the night forgetting about his loss. He wanted to connect with someone. He'd already fucked Hermione twice, what was one more time?

"Miss Granger!" he barked, making the class jump. "Ten points from Gryffindor for sleeping during my class and detention tonight. Pity that you won't be able to help your friends with their assignment tonight."

Snape stared at his dick as Hermione left his chambers, his come dripping from her cunt and tits. Something was wrong with him. He'd enjoyed being with her more than he should have.

There was something about the slow way she'd kissed him and then asked him to hold her after their first round of sex. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something was different about her, about the way they had been together, that was making his head hurt.

It was like she had needed comfort from him. The lead up to and during sex, she had been the same as she had been the two other times they'd been together. But after they had come together, she'd almost been needy. And he almost felt as if she was going to tell him that something was wrong and that she needed help, but she never spoke. She had just kissed him like he was her lifeline and then begged him to hold her.

He'd done so for a while before she started to move against him. Then the quiet girl was gone and the sex kitten was back.

He didn't know what was wrong with Hermione, but he vowed to himself that he was going to keep an eye on her and see if there was something going on with her that she needed help with. He wanted to enter her mind, see just what was going on in that head of hers but he was not keen on doing that to someone without their permission. He might be fucking her, but there were still some lines he wouldn't cross.

13 Nov 1998

Hermione smirked as Ron ran away from the birds that she'd conjured to attack him. He was lucky she was only mildly annoyed at him for kissing Lavender again, Gryffindor's most annoying resident.

When she'd first seen them kissing, it felt like her heart had broken for a split second before she remembered that whilst they were friends, she didn't like him as anything more than that. They had fooled around during their seventh year and had decided they didn't work together. It didn't mean she wanted him to date Lavender again though. He'd tried dating her roommate in sixth year and it hadn't worked out, so why was he trying again? And why couldn't he have chosen Leanne, or one of Ginny's roommates? Or if he wanted someone their age he could have gone for Padma. She was as gorgeous as her twin sister but nowhere near as vapid.

She sat in the empty classroom, confused by her emotions as she comforted Harry. The poor boy was head over heels in love with Ginny. Hermione knew that all Harry had to do was tell Ginny how he felt and the redhead would date him in a heartbeat, but she also knew Harry wouldn't. He was too self-sacrificing for that.

She suddenly remembered that Ron had agreed to go to the R.A.V.E.N. Christmas party with her and now she wouldn't be able to take him. Lavender would never allow it. In an ideal world, she'd go with Draco. He would be fun and it guaranteed she'd get laid after. But she knew she couldn't. Draco wasn't going to attend, even if she wanted him to. He'd been spending more and more time in the Room of Requirement and she knew she couldn't drag him away from it.

If only he would tell her what he was working on. If he let her help she was sure they could get it done in half the time. They were the two smartest people in their year and she could only imagine how great they would be if they worked together. And yet, he mostly ignored her when she tried to talk to him.

Well, she'd just have to find someone else to go with her.

18 Dec 1998

November and December seemed to pass in a blur of classes, ignoring Ron and Lavendar, and meeting up with Snape. She wasn't sure what had changed, but after he initiated things two days after Halloween, they'd been meeting up at least twice a week.

At first, it was just a quick fuck in his classroom after her class or in his office before breakfast. But then two weeks prior he'd taken her to his chambers, claiming his old back couldn't handle fucking whilst standing anymore. She bit back her comment that thirty-six wasn't old, especially for wizards.

They'd laid in his bed and instead of the hard, almost brutal fucking she was used to, he'd gone slower. He'd taken his time exploring her body, using his fingers, tongue, and cock to bring her to orgasm multiple times before he finally spilt inside her. She had been so worn out that she'd fallen asleep in his bed and woke up an hour later wrapped in his arms.

"Hi," she whispered, kissing his nose.

"Hi," he answered her before leaning down to slowly kiss her.

He deepened the kiss but didn't increase the speed. It was slow and powerful like the waves in the middle of the ocean. His hand rubbed down her thigh before grabbing her behind the knee and hooking it over his hip. She was opened up to him and he slid inside her easily.

She moaned into his mouth, breaking the kiss.

"Fuck, Severus. I love how you feel inside me."

"So fucking perfect, Hermione," he murmured. "So tight and hot. Tell me I'm the only one that does this to you."

She noticed he'd been using her given name more and she loved how it sounded in his silky voice. It did things to her that she couldn't explain. She looked into his eyes and saw something different in them. She couldn't tell what it was, but something had shifted in him.

"Of course you do this to me, Severus. Can't you feel how wet you make me?" She squeezed her cunt around his shaft. "I wouldn't keep coming back if I didn't want you."

He groaned and began to rock against her. He tightened his grip on her, bringing their bodies closer together. Every inch of her body was pressed against his. His cock was so deep and her clit was in the perfect position to rub against his pelvic bone.

She wasn't lying. She did want him. She might have started pursuing him on Voldemort's orders and Bella's request, but she kept coming back willingly. As much as she loved fucking Antonin, Draco, and Lucius, there was something about Snape that made her crave more. She had fun with the others, but she wanted Severus. He wasn't just a willing cock. He was like a drug she wanted more and more of.

"I want you too, little witch," he confessed. "Every fucking day."

"You can have me, Severus. Whenever you want." She moaned as he hit that place deep inside her that no one else had ever found. Her orgasm was so close, she just needed him to finish with her. "Come in me. Please. I need your come in me."

He'd emptied himself inside her then begged her not to shower before heading back to her dorm. He had wanted her to sleep with his seed inside her so she would wake up and know how much he wanted her.

She'd woken up the next morning and fingered herself thinking about how part of him was still with her. She wanted more from him. She wanted with him what Lucius and Narcissa had. They had playthings, but always came back to each other.

Hermione pulled herself from her confusing thoughts and feelings about Severus and focused on getting ready for the R.A.V.E.N. Christmas party. For some reason that she still wasn't sure of, she'd agreed to attend with Cormac McLaggen as her date. She hated the guy, but Ron had been annoying her so much lately and she knew Cormac would bother him and Lavender the most. She might be in uni, but sometimes it was easier to be petty than to be grown up.

It was just one night. If she could sit through dinner with her parent's dental friends as a child, she could make it through one date.

Snape glared at Cormac McLaggen as he led Hermione around the room like she was some kind of show dog. Didn't that man know how lucky he was to be seen in public with her?

He was already in a bad mood that he had to attend the party. It wasn't like it was party for underage student. Everyone here was a R.A.V.E.N. student which meant they were at least eighteen years old, most of them older than that. And then he'd watched in horror how McLaggen had kissed his witch under the mistletoe. Even if Hermione had pushed McLaggen away right after the kiss, clearly not enjoying his affections, he had almost punched the man-child.

His witch?

The phrase made him pull up short. Since when did he think of Hermione as his? Sure, he liked to tell her that he owned her cunt. But he didn't actually believe that. It was just his possessive side, his inner caveman, that liked to say it when they were fucking. No one could own Hermione. She was the most independent witch he knew, which was probably why it turned him on so much when she screamed his name and that she belonged to him.

But there she was, in a gorgeous red dress, being man-handled by an ape and there was nothing he could do. Hermione didn't need saving, she could save herself. But fuck, if he didn't want to pull her way from McLaggen and hex the boy's cock off.

He smirked as Hermione snuck away from Cormac. Her eyes were scanning the crowd and when they met his, her entire face lit up. He'd never seen anything so beautiful in all his life and he…

Oh, fuck. I love her.

He made a point of never lying to himself even though he wanted to at that moment. How had he not realised he was falling for his student?

His mind raced over their interactions during term and he could see it so clearly. It had started just after Halloween when she begged him to hold her in his arms. That simple act where she was vulnerable had weakened the walls around his heart and he had let her in without even noticing what he was doing.

How he hadn't noticed that just two weeks ago he'd fucking made love to her was beyond him. What in the hell had he been thinking? He might as well have shouted his feelings from the Astronomy tower.

Severus punched the wall as Draco stormed out of the classroom. Little fucking brat was failing at his mission to kill Dumbledore and even though Snape knew he could help his godson, he was refusing his help.

Of course, Dumbledore knew what Draco was up to but he was being so obvious that he was planning something it was clear for anyone who cared to look to see. Already rumours were flying around the staff room about how sick he looked, how much his grades were falling. And no one knew what to do with someone who was failing R.A.V.E.N.s; there was no precedent for it.

If only Severus could get through to him. Make him realise he didn't want the glory or whatever else Draco thought he would get from killing the Headmaster.

And no matter what, one of them would be killing him.

Unless the old man succumbed to his curse before then. Which if he was still being honest with himself, that was what he wanted. He would do what had to be done, but he didn't actually want to kill his mentor.

Vowing to try to talk to Draco again after term started in January, Snape left the classroom to return to the party. He was about to enter the room when movement caught his eye and he turned to see Hermione and McLaggen walking away from it. Casting a silencing and Disillusionment Charm on himself, he followed behind them.

He knew Hermione could take care of herself, but if that wanker was able to get her wand away from her, she would be all but defenceless. She was powerful but he outweighed her by at least seven stones. It was better he was there just in case.

Severus watched as McLaggen pulled them to a stop two floors up from the party and tugged her onto a deep window seat that overlooked the snow-covered grounds. His heart ached at the thought of being able to hold Hermione in that same spot, unafraid of the trouble they would get into if they did. This boy had no idea just how lucky he was.

He bit back a growl as he watched McLaggen place his hand on her bare knee and start to move his fingers. As he began to wander up her thigh, Hermione forcefully placed her hand over his and pushed him away.

"Please don't touch me, Cormac," she said, her voice strong. "You're not my type and I'm not interested in anything more than returning to the common room."

"You asked me on a date, Hermione," Cormac rebutted. "I put this nice suit on, let you be seen on my arm, and danced with you. You owe me more than a walk back to the common room."

Severus saw red at the words coming out of that… he didn't want to call him a man. That was an insult to decent men everywhere. A real man didn't believe a woman owed him anything just because they went on a date. It took all of his strength to not react. He knew he needed to let Hermione take care of herself and only intervene if it became clear she couldn't.

"I don't owe you anything. A dance does not equal prepayment for sex."

"We don't need to have sex." Cormac reached towards his crotch and unzipped his trousers. "A blow job will be enough."

"Are you fucking kidding me? One, I am not touching your cock with my mouth or any other part of my body. Two, you should really wait for a woman to tell you she wants you before you pull your penis out. And three, you're a pig."

Hermione went to stand up but McLaggen grabbed her arm, placing her hand on his exposed cock. Before Severus could even begin to intervene, Hermione pulled her hand back and slapped the fucker across the face. The sound echoed through the hallway and he silently cheered her on. McLaggen didn't have time to react before she had her wand out, spit out an incantation, and a flash of blue light filled the corridor before she slapped him across the face once more and stormed away.

Severus was frozen in place as she marched past him. He couldn't stop her as her footfalls faded.

He'd seen that curse before. It was a curse that was invented to keep men from getting an erection for a month. It was a favourite curse of the person who had invented it and she was the only one he'd ever seen use it.

So what was Hermione Granger, Gryffindor's Golden Princess, doing using a Bellatrix Lestrange curse?

A/N: Dun, dun, dun!