A/N. God, sorry that I took so long, once more! Just had no time to write, and everytime I did begin, something interrupted. But I think that now, I'll post more frequently! I'm not quite sure about the quality of this chapter, as I was interrupted like every two sentences lol. But next chapter will be far more interesting!
Slamming the door that led outside behind him, Aang tried to calm his anger. This play was monkey hog shit! Nothing was true! They insulted his people, his friends and Katara! He didn't care about the fact that they also insulted him!
Alright, maybe a little!
But how could he not? They made him out for someone who didn't care about the people he was duty-bound to protect! But he did! Sure, he had told everyone that if it was a choice between Katara or the world, he would choose her at any moment. But that was not because he didn't care about the world!
It was just that Katara was more important to him than anything else… His life, his people, his friends, the world… Yeah... He would give anything up to protect her, that was true.
But to say that he didn't care about the world, that was just wrong! And that play… How had the writer known about that moment in the barn! That had been between them! Sure, maybe the writer had just chosen that moment for dramatic purposes, and if that was the case…. Did he need to insult him by making him second-guess what had happened?
Aang knew that it hadn't been… perfect. At least, not for Katara. He had been too eager, too rough at the end, too… too… Too everything. But Katara had not cared! And she had certainly not just done it to make him feel good! Had she?
No, she hadn't! They had talked about this! She had admitted that it hadn't been perfect, but she had not cared! And he had made it up to her! But no, the writer needed to insult him and Katara! And honestly, he wouldn't have cared about all that… But they portrayed Katara as some… some… harlot... And she was not that at all!
And even if she had been, that wasn't important! But to insult her, make her something she was not, and to insult her own abilities by ignoring the moments she had fought against their enemies, or stood up for herself… That what made Katara, they had ignored. And he hated it.
And… that scene.
Oh Spirits, how much he had hated that scene.
"I thought you were the Avatar's girl!" Fake Zuko had asked, and to be honest… Aang had a slightly proud moment at that question. It meant that everyone knew he loved Katara, right? And if there was something that made him happy and proud, was the fact that he could love her!
"The Avatar? Hah, he like a little brother to me."
Alright, that had hurt, but he knew it wasn't true! What had hurt him, however, was the fact that the scene before had been their time in the barn, and that the play immediately gave Katara something else to do.
Sucking face with Zuko.
Oh look, you are beginning to think and talk like Sokka!
Shut up brain… not now.
You might want to think with me, rather than with your heart and prick.
Screw off.
Seriously, in what world did the playwriter live? Who, in their right mind, would put such a scene in the play! Wasn't it clear that he and Katara were together! Zuko had Mai! Well… has? Had? He didn't know what had happened to the blade-wielding girl, and even though it made him sad for Zuko, who probably thought that his love was dead… Still! Still, it didn't explain why that idiot of a playwriter had put a scene between the firebender and Katara!
Looking around, Aang realized he was actually on a very large balcony, with a beautiful view of the sandy beaches and the ocean behind it. Spirits, if he wasn't this agitated, he would have loved to stay and just… look.
Sighing, he walked to the edge of the balcony, and let his arms rest on the small, elegant railing. Watching the sun set on the ocean, he thought about what would follow in this monkey hog shit of a play.
He had… "died" just before the end of the second act, so, they would probably follow them to Hakoda's camp. The pamphlet had said that there had been prisoners of war who had helped with the writing. Spirits, let it be Bato. Not one of the rather… conservative… members of Hakoda's forces. Because even though most of the Water Tribe warriors didn't know about him and Katara, he suspected that some felt some resentment towards him, for falling in love with the Chief's daughter.
It wasn't his fault! He had not chosen to fall in love with her, it had just happened!
Spirits, this was going to be even more messed up than the second act, didn't it?
"Aang?" A voice called out softly from near the door.
No… No, not now. Dear Spirits, he knew himself well enough to know that if he was angry, or irritated, his heart would talk instead of his brain. And he didn't want to just… say whatever passed through his head! He knew perfectly well that if he didn't choose his words carefully… he would say something that was very wrong.
Aang didn't turn around, even though he knew that it was Katara standing behind him. He was sure that if he saw her, all blue eyes and tanned skin and beautiful… He would crack and begin to rant against the play. And that was exactly what he should avoid.
"Are you alright?" Her voice approached, and he felt arms wind around his waist, as the waterbender pressed herself against his back.
Concentrate on anything else than her breasts against your back…
Spirits, he was not going to be able to keep his composure, was he?
"I hate this play." He managed to sigh, taking the hat off his head and feeling the soft breeze against his skin. While normally, this would calm him down, he felt his heart rate going fast and the pounding in his head didn't make it easier.
"I know… Just don't let it hurt you. It isn't true." The waterbender pressed herself even further against him, and Aang felt his right hand begin to shake. How could he ignore it? It insulted everyone and everything he loved.
"You looked away for a big part. Have you heard what they said?" He answered, trying to keep calm. How could she not have seen the complete idiotic scene between "her" and "Zuko"? Of course, it wasn't true, but the Fire Nation made her out for someone who didn't care for anything, or even what anyone did to her!
And Katara was everything but that! She had hated Zuko until a few days ago, and even now, it wasn't like they were best friends! There was a sort of calm acceptance, but that was it! But no! The Fire Nation regime needed to make it look like Katara jumped on everything that moved!
And he had not missed the underlying insult either to Zuko. Water Tribes were… badly seen in the Fire Nation. It had been like that even before the war. The Water Tribes were seen as savages by a part of the population, and it wouldn't have been acceptable for anyone to be seen with those savages. And to make Zuko… "flirt" with one in the play…. Spirits, that was not good for him.
It was complete nonsense, of course, but that had probably been the goal of the writer. To insult Katara by making her easygoing, and to insult Zuko by letting him, "associate with savages".
"Is this about the scene with the barn?" Katara whispered behind him, and he could hear the shyness in her voice, "You know I never thought that, right?"
"I know… And no, it isn't about… that. Even though that was not fun either…" He sighed, turning around to face Katara, "No… It is everything. Your actress… She was flirting with fake Zuko. Saying… S-saying that you only felt brotherly love for the Avatar…" He knew it wasn't true! Really, he did! But spirits, it had hurt!
"Aang… That wasn't me." She smiled sadly, putting a hand to his cheek. He couldn't help but sigh into the feeling, and let his face rest against her fingers, which were softly touching his cheek, "You know I don't think that… And for the record, if what we had was brotherly love… That would be so, so weird."
At that, he chuckled softly. Spirits, she always knew what to say…
"I know…" He murmured, trying to ban the mental image that play had conjured into his mind, "I just wish… Everything would be different."
Well. That was one way to ruin what could have been a good moment.
"What do you mean?" Katara's voice sounded slightly wary, as if she didn't know what he meant by that.
"I just… I wish this war would not have happened, that we would have met without all the pressure of ending a century-long conflict…"
Stop now, you idiot! Not the time or the place!
"And I wish… I wish that it was just easy." He sighed once more. Aang knew what it sounded like. That he was pathetically explaining what he should have deserved, instead of being happy with what he got.
"I don't." Katara smiled at him, in a serious and somewhat sad way, "If this war hadn't happened, we wouldn't have met. And sure, we have to end this war… But you don't have to do it alone. We will kill Ozai and Azula, and put an end to it. We have plans, remember?"
Plans… Yes, they had softly whispered their hopes these last few days. How Katara hoped to be able to help the Southern Water Tribe, and how he himself just wanted to be left in peace, doing what he thought was right for the people of the world.
But they had always been careful not to mention one thing. What about them?
"I don't want to kill Ozai." Aang admitted. It had been in the back of his head for some time… Every time people said he needed to kill the Fire Lord, he had just kind of… nodded along. But how could he explain to anyone that killing another human being… or even a living being… Was something Air Nomads didn't do. At least, not when another choice was available.
Katara would understand. She always did, when his beliefs seemed archaic and strange to others, she understood.
"I know… But we need to." She took a step away from him, and Aang closed his eyes. She was right, of course… Even if he didn't want to, it was the only option to make sure that the world was rid of him. Fire Lords served for life. And there was only one way to make sure one was deposed. That was to kill them.
But he didn't want to do that.
"This play…" He murmured, opening his eyes again to see that Katara was standing next to him now, looking over the ocean, "This play is going to show us losing." That, he knew for certain. It was Fire Nation propaganda, and if there was one thing, they were good at, it was making themselves the good guys.
"Sure." The waterbender nodded.
"Azula gave me a taste of what defeat would look like for us... During the invasion." He spoke through gritted teeth. The princess had told him what she would do if she managed to capture Katara. And in case of defeat, that was surely something that would happen… Except that Katara would never, never, let herself be captured if it could be helped.
"And we already agreed that it won't happen." Katara spoke up, and Aang knew why. She knew that if left unchecked, he would go spiraling down into a pit of despair about the threats from Azula. And that wouldn't be fair of him.
Suki had been right when she had scolded him and Sokka. They had been so absorbed by those threats and the war, that they had forgotten that it was meant against Katara. And here he was, once more worrying about it while he should be saying it wouldn't happen. He should be the one comforting Katara. Not the other way around.
"I know, I know… I just hate it that all these things are stopping us…"
Stop now, you stupid little Air Head!
"Stopping us from doing what we want."
Well, I'll take the brain and just throw it away, alright? Because you are clearly not using it!
Aang sighed and let himself slide against the railing, next to the waterbender. For a moment, there was silence, and he tried not to say anything more. He had already gone slightly too far… For their unspoken agreement was talking about what they wanted for themselves…. But never, at least not since the temple, about what they wanted for them both.
"Aang… We can wait." Katara spoke, breaking the silent with the words he had dreaded to hear.
"Can we?" The airbender spoke before even realizing it, and the moment he had said those words, he wanted to take them back. He didn't want to talk about this, not now, not when he was already angry! But it was too late…
"What do you mean?" Katara sounded… apprehensive. As if she knew that they were threading into territory that they had carefully avoided all these days.
"Tara… in eight days, the comet comes… Ozai will use it for… whatever he is planning. But I don't know if I'll win… I don't even know if I will be able to stop what he is going to do..." He managed to say.
In the back of his mind, Aang knew what the Fire Lord would do. The day the comet came… He would probably exterminate the Water Tribes. That was something he had given a lot of thought. If Ozai managed to kill him or capture him, the next Avatar would certainly try and stop the Fire Nation. But if there wasn't any waterbending child born after him… Because the Water Tribes were a pile of ash and ruin… It would ensure that no one would come after Ozai.
"You'll win." Katara answered, sounding so sure… So sure that he would be able to do it.
"We don't know that." He insisted, trying not to sound desperate, but it felt as if he wasn't doing a good job at hiding how helpless he felt.
"But I do. I never doubted you, and you shouldn't either! Ozai won't be able to use the comet, and it will pass. And when the sun comes up the day after the comet, it will shine on a peaceful world. A world that will have you to thank for that. I know that." Katara grabbed his hand, and, looking down at it, Aang smiled. Not out of relief or happiness, but out of gratitude, thankful for how Katara seemed to have trust in him.
"But… what if we don't win?" He hated to ask it, but he needed to know, "What will you do?"
Looking in the waterbender's eyes, he saw that she had realized what he was saying.
What will you do. Not what will we do.
She had realized what he had meant.
"If we don't win the coming days… We'll win in a few weeks. But win, we will." Katara's voice sounded stubborn. Aang sighed, trying to remain calm. He loved her so much, for all her optimism and stubbornness… But he needed to know what she would do. What she would do if he died.
"Katara…" He began, "You know what I meant."
He hated to make her think about that. Looking at the waterbender, he saw that she was biting her lower lip, clearly trying not to become angry with him. He didn't exactly like that expression, because it meant he had irritated her… or rather, the matter he was alluding to make her worry, which in turn made her irritated.
"You want to know what I'll do? I would find the person who killed you, and make them regret being born. You know that! But it isn't an option! There is too much to do. This is just the beginning of our story. Not the end. Do you hear me?" Aang felt her fingers press into his hand, and looking in those beautiful ocean blue eyes, he saw nothing more than honesty.
Yes, she would do that. She had not killed her mother's murderer, but, having heard the stories from Sokka from while he was in a coma… Aang knew that Katara was capable of killing the people who had wronged her… Or who represented the people who had wronged her.
And he couldn't blame her.
He had never blamed anyone for having other morals or beliefs than he did.
And to be honest… If someone killed or harmed Katara… He would not rest until that person was dead. Screw his beliefs and his people. If someone did that, he would make sure the world would know what happened to that person. And Katara was the same, he knew that. She would kill anyone who would even scratch the surface of his skin.
"Katara, I know we must win… But promise me that in case we lose… That you will not try and avenge me." He needed her to promise him that. Because if he died… She would have no chance to beat the person who had killed him. Not because she was weak, or not a fighter… Spirits knew she was…
No, that person would be Ozai or Azula… And they would not kill Katara, just… Just because it would be more fun to keep her alive.
"I will not promise that." Katara's voice was hard as stone now.
"Tara…"
"No."
Aang knew it was hopeless. Of course she would not promise that. She had made it abundantly clear that if he was killed, she would do anything in her power to take revenge. So, what he and Hakoda were both afraid of, would probably happen, if he died.
"Then, I'll just have to win." Because, to be honest… He was never going to fight this battle just for the world. No, it had always been for the people he loved. At first, his willingness to fight in this war had been due to the fact that the Air Nomads had died because of it. Call it revenge, or even selfish… but it was true. But over the course of these months, his reasons had changed.
Yes, the Fire Nation was responsible for much destruction, and their crimes would have to be atoned for. But his goal was not to make them suffer. Now, his goal was to make the world a better place, a place where people could live in peace…
And a place where he and Katara would live together, have a life and a future. That was his reason to fight now… So, losing was not an option.
Sighing, he extracted his hand from the waterbender's fingers. Looking over the beach and the ocean, they watched in silences as the sun began to disappear underneath the horizon. His anger towards the play was not gone, but it was buried underneath a whole mountain of worry. Worry he had managed to hide away from these last few days.
He had planned this evening to go so differently… He had hoped to laugh and mock this play, talk late into the night with friends, and maybe, just maybe… Give Katara that necklace in his pocket. And explain to her that it made no difference now, for married or unmarried… His weak point remained Katara. And sure, she didn't want to be the reason they lost, and that was why she had said no.
But it made no difference at all… They could hide this fact, they could make sure the Fire Nation wouldn't know. Their feelings ensured that, whatever the case these coming days… They would do anything to protect the other.
Letting his hand slide into his pocket, Aang let his fingers closed around the silken band he had tied around the stone pendant. Should he? Shouldn't he?
Sighing, he let go of the necklace. No. Now was not the time… Right?
"The third act is going to start." Katara muttered, and Aang understood that she didn't want to see what the Fire Nation had in store for this part of their travels. But to miss it would mean that they would have to ask their friends what filth the play had thrown on them in that part… So, better to watch whatever was going to happen.
As he straightened, he looked Katara in the eyes. Taking her hand in his own, he let his thumb slide softly over the tanned skin of her fingers. It didn't matter, everything that happened around them… The war, the coming battle, the stress of training night and day… It didn't matter, as long as she was there, as happy as humanly possible in their situation. As long as she was not in danger, he would take this stress every day of his, possible very short, life.
"You're staring." He heard her voice say softly, with a little amused tone. Snapping out of it, the airbender realized he had been staring at her face, and it would probably have been quite strange. But looking at her with more focus, Aang watched as the big blue eyes took a soft expression, and the smile on her lips widened just slightly.
"We need to get inside." She spoke gently, and he felt her hand on his.
"A minute… just a minute." He didn't know why he said it like that, like it would be the last time he would be able to be alone with her… But it felt like that. The tanned hand on his fingers stayed still, and he closed his left hand over Katara's. Bringing the fingers up to his lips, he kissed her palm softly. Why did he do that? Spirits… It was all such a mess. But this? This had never been complicated or difficult.
Sure, they had danced around each other for so long… And even when it had finally happened, he had not known what to do… But loving her had never been difficult.
"Katara…" Spirits, why was his mouth talking? What he should do was kiss her senseless, instead of talking.
"Aang…"
Her voice… So soft, so gentle and so… So Katara. Spirits he never wanted to leave this place. He didn't want to return to the play, or to whatever was happening in the outside world. He just wanted to stay there, with her.
Screw everything. Screw the war, the world, everyone who was counting on him. Katara was also counting on him. On him to survive, to come back from the battle that was coming, and to live with her.
Just forget what Azula had said. It wouldn't happen.
"Will.. Spirits Katara, it doesn't matter anymore. The Fire Nation knows what we are, and what we would do for one another. There is no need to hide it… And they wouldn't know… No one needs to know. I know that you said to wait… And it makes sense… But would you marry me?" If he was to die in the coming days… At least, he wanted to die having done one good thing in his life.
The Air Nomads didn't always marry their loves… But it had happened, and he knew that for the Water Tribes, it was important. He let his right hand slip into his pocket, and firmly grasped the necklace. It was hers, if she wanted it…
"Aang…"
Shit… He had screwed up, hadn't he?
"Just… Just think about it, please." He quickly took the necklace and pressed it in her hand, and released her, turning around and quickly walking into the theatre.
As he entered the fire red corridor, he began to hit himself with a fist against his forehead. Shit! How had he been so stupid! She had said to wait, until after the war! They had agreed on that at the temple! But no! His rash actions just had to do something unbelievably stupid like giving her the necklace, again!
Spirits, she was going to hate it. Hate the fact he had, once more, not thought about her, and just tried to do what he thought was right. Aang closed his eyes in frustration. He had a speech prepared! One that had finished with him asking what she thought about it! He should have explained himself better!
Spirits, he was an idiot!
"Ah, Aang! Katara was looking for you!" Opening his eyes, the airbender saw a rather proud looking Sokka stand in front of him with Suki behind him, rolling her eyes in an affectionate manner.
"Yeah… I talked to her." Aang tried to sound normal, and if he assumed correctly, his friend didn't think anything of it. But as he looked over Sokka's shoulder, he saw the frown on Suki's face. And he knew that she at least, had realized that not everything was perfect.
But before anyone could say something, a trumpet blared in the theatre to recall the crowds inside to their seats.
Answers:
Jjsmith103: Yeah, I didn't want to recall everything in the play, and making Katara ignore everything except the important stuff was an easy way to escape that hell lol! I think that Aang's choices in this chapter are mostly due to his insecurity provoked by the play, we'll just have to see what Katara actually thinks about it. And my guess is that the writer o the play just guessed a lot, and filled in the holes in his story with things he thought would have happened. In this case, he just guessed it very well lol!