Chapter 17

The drive back from Tarasov into the small airport that Lissa had reserved for our impromptu landing and take-off passes in a blur and before we knew it, we are back on the plane and raising across the US to finally land in New York City.

"Hey Liss, you really should consider getting some in-flight entertainment or something at this point" I mentioned to Lissa as she was passing by on her way back to her seat. She gave me a slight smile and plopped down next to Christian, who was sound asleep already. How this guy was able to sleep at a time like this this was beyond my understanding.

Nearby Lila was eyeing something on her new phone. Lissa had gotten her one in Russia, and she had been using it on every spare time to try to find some information on her missing charge.

"Here" I turned to see Dimitri offer me a cup of coffee while holding another one for himself on his other hand.

"Extra sugar on it?" I asked.

"Yes, you have coffee with your sugar" Dimitri said with a small smile as he started sipping from his boring black coffee. I smiled back and drank a little. And almost spit it out.

"What's wrong?" Dimitri said, eyeing my coffee.

"I'm not sure, it just tastes…" Disgusting, wasn't exactly the word for it, but it was definitely not appetizing. "It may be because Strigoi don't really do coffee breaks in between their blood drinking, guess I can't have regular food until I'm back to normal." It made sense, Moroi could balance out a diet of blood and solid food, but strigoi were undead, didn't really need food to sustain themselves, just blood to keep up their life force by stealing those of others.

"How long has it been since you last fed?" Dimitri had a slight hesitation before the last word.

"Umm not long, maybe a day?" I thought back to my last feeding, it was probably right before we got into our flight to Alaska. We took a quick detour at a clinic in Moscow where Lissa compelled a couple of blood bags for ourselves and Cristian.

Dimitri gave me an assessing look then said. "Okay in that case, come with me." And made to move to the back of the plane.

"What? Comrade its fine I can wait until we land…" but Dimitri shook his head.

"Rose the longer you wait the harder it will be to reign in the bloodlust when you do feed. This way you'll have a better control over it, and you only have to take a little bit." He did have a point there, so finally I decided to get up and follow him.

"Okay so… I guess we should make this quick, Dimitri said as he sat on the far end of the two seats which faced another identical set forming a circle at the end of the plane.

Not really knowing what to say I just sat next to him but made no move to touch him. We hadn't really touched or been alone together since we hugged right before going to Tarasov, and it was hard to read his stoic expression now. Looking at him with my enhanced senses though, I realized that his breathing was coming in shallower than before, and his pulse was raising.

"You are…scared". I said, not knowing what else to say. Dimitri was usually so sure of himself, always the rock to my quick to ignite temper, seeing him like this was unsettling.

He met my eyes for a second before dropping his gaze "Not of you," he said quickly "at least not anymore, but of this, sharing blood, it makes me feel…"

Dirty, Ashamed

The words hung in the air even if he didn't say them out loud. Dhampirs, especially women but also some men who could not or would not become guardians had to resort to other ways of making money in a society that did not have a lot of paths for our kind to progress financially. And added to that, the fact that Dhampirs could not have bore children amongst our kind and had to breed with Moroi who didn't often marry them added even more stigma around what Dimitri was trying to do to help me.

I could understand Dimitri's shame and fear in a way other non-Dhampirs could not, but that didn't mean I was going to allow him to hurt.

Swallowing up tears I wasn't sure this body could produce; I took his hands in mine. "Hey," I said meeting his eyes. "What you are willing to do for me, not just this, but all of it" I said gesturing to the plane. "Is the bravest thing I can think anyone doing. I love you, and I'm so fucking proud to… to call you mine" I said, feeling unsure of what else to call him; boyfriend was definitely too small a term for everything he meant to me. "So, this," I said holding up his wrist "is about love, and being willing to do this makes you nothing less than honorable, but I won't ask this of you if you don't feel completely sure about it." I held his gaze as I realized it was the longest, we had stared at each other since our night at the cabin.

"I love you too Roza." He said and turned his wrist, so it was facing up towards my mouth. "And I'm in this with you, to whatever end."

I finally broke our eye contact as I grabbed his wrist and sunk down my teeth in it.