Chapter 3

The next morning Olivia didn't even bother her since it was her first day of summer vacation, "Lucy, I'll take Noah to school. When Amanda gets up, maybe you two can bring the squad lunch. I'll text you the order. Lucy never heard a peep from her room and around 10:30 she went in and only found her stuff and a note. "Oh great! Liv is going to be pissed." Lucy walked in with lunch and saw Fin first, "Fin, I have a problem." Fin smiled, "What's up? We have cheesesteaks, no problem." Lucy gave him the note, "Oh shit!"

Olivia came out, "Hey Luce! Thanks! Where's Amanda?" Fin gave her the note. Lucy explained, "I let her sleep and just found this. I tried calling her. She took her phone." Olivia put a trace on the phone, "Her ass is mine tonight." Fin spit his sandwich across the table. Olivia calmly sent a text, "Liv, I did that already. She didn't answer." Olivia nodded and typed, "You have 15 minutes to get your ass to the station or I have more than a corner with your name on it. I have a belt."

Olivia's phone rang within a minute of the text, "Where are you?" Amanda answered quickly, "I'm more than 15 minutes away." Olivia smiled, "That's a personal problem. Figure it out." Amanda strolled in 30 minutes later with Casey. Olivia liked Casey, she was good for her. Amanda was scared. "Sit and eat your cold food." Olivia spoke to Casey. "She showed up last night saying she couldn't stay with you and you only said until she graduates. I asked her if she talked to you and she said no. I was going to call you today."

Olivia shook her head, "That girl." Casey needed Olivia to know, "She likes you." Olivia smiled, "I like her too, but not when she pulls stuff like this." Casey was nervous, "No, I mean she likes you. She's crushing on you." Olivia laughed, but Casey's face was serious. Olivia looked out the window and saw Amanda watching them. Olivia shut the blinds and talked to her best friend. Fin sat down, "You better concentrate more on that sandwich I heated up and less on that conversation."

Olivia shook her head, "Casey she's 19 and let's forget that I'm 31. I'm a SVU Sergeant. No way." Casey sighed, "You don't think I've heard that. I have and I've heard she doesn't have a chance, but she still likes you." Olivia couldn't believe it and she started thinking. Amanda hadn't given any signals. "Look, I'm just making you aware. Amanda is very good at hiding things. If she doesn't want you to know, you won't. Hey, at least she's legal." Casey grabbed the door. She would be leaving for school in Virginia. "Olivia, take care of her. Maybe you can try treating her like a friend and not a kid and see what happens."

Olivia smiled, "I don't know about that, she is a kid, but I've got her." Olivia was drawn to Amanda. Maybe it was the connection she thought they had from younger years. She wanted to protect her, but being with her hadn't crossed her mind. Olivia let Casey say goodbye and then she snatched her ass in the box. Olivia asked questions and Amanda stood there refusing to answer any of them. Olivia took off her badge and laid it on the table and next she took off her belt. Amanda frowned, "What are you going to do to me? I'm not a kid. You can't beat me."

Olivia laughed, "Really, the stunt was very immature. Noah gets my hand and maybe a spoon." Amanda begged, "I'm sorry I won't do it again." Olivia had to know, "Why did you leave and where did you get I was putting you out after graduation from?" Amanda didn't know and looked at the belt, "I figured when you said you would help me, you meant when I was done with high school. Then you set up the account. I figured it was it." Olivia saw the fear and put her belt on, "Well I didn't put any time limit on it. I only remember saying let me help you." They went to leave, "We aren't done discussing this."

Olivia told Lucy to take her home and watch her closely. Amanda was playing with Noah when Olivia got home. "Mama!" Noah hugged her tight, "Manda is playing with me." Olivia kissed him, "Really, that's nice." Olivia winked at her, "How was your day?" Noah told her about learning to count 1,2,3,4…" Olivia noticed Amanda just staring at her. Noah climbed down and sat in front of the TV. "Not to close Noah." Noah backed up, "Yes mama."

Olivia sat beside Amanda, "Are you ok?" Amanda shrugged, "Are you still mad at me?" Olivia couldn't stay mad at Amanda, "No. I need you to trust me though. I also need you to talk to me. It's key if we are going to be friends." Amanda heard the word friend, "You want to be my friend?" Olivia smiled, "Yeah! You don't?" Amanda nodded, "Why did you need help like me? Where is your mom and dad?" Olivia looked at Noah, "Let's talk tonight after he is asleep."

Lucy had to run and didn't have time for dinner. Once Olivia put Noah down, she popped into Amanda's room, "I'm taking a shower, meet me in my room in 10 minutes." Amanda looked at the clock and went to Olivia's room exactly 10 minutes later, she wanted to know about her. She knocked, "Come in!" Olivia walked out in a sports bra while pulling her hair back in a ponytail. Amanda looked at her stomach and chest. Olivia's body was amazing, but she was a cop and had to be in shape. Amanda stood there gawking and Olivia noticed, but tried not to draw attention to it.

Olivia plopped on the bed and patted the other side. Amanda sat down. "Ok, so you want to know about me, fine, but that means you will share stuff too." Amanda wasn't sure about it, but she nodded and agreed. "My mother was a young professor at Hudson. She was strict, cocky, and beautiful." Olivia reached on her nightstand and showed Amanda a picture, "That was our last photo together. She died when I was 17." Amanda looked, "You must look like your dad." Amanda looked up to see Olivia shrugging, "I wouldn't know. She was raped one night while walking to her car. Police looked for suspects, but they didn't know if it was a student or random guy." Amanda's eyes shot up, "You were? That's why you work in SVU?"

Olivia smiled, "You are smart. She had me, but she never really was the same. She was one person during the day and a drunk at night. In the end it cost her, with her life." Amanda searched her face for sadness. "I was 17, turning 18 in months. Things were different then, Alex and Monique's parents stepped in and said they would help. Our house was sold and money was put in an account for me. I did ok." Amanda thought about her life, "Wow, I would never think…" Olivia smiled, "I know. Now what about you."

Amanda immediately got an attitude, "Didn't your friends tell you?" Olivia crossed her legs, "They only told me you were in foster care, which you turned down at 18 and your dad died. That's not much. And you're still on thin ice with me." Amanda knew she wasn't being fair, "I used to live in Atlanta when I was young. My dad beat my mom. When he would get really drunk, he would beat and rape her. The last time I saw her I was eight. She was pregnant, but she didn't want the baby."

Amanda sighed, "I don't think she ever wanted me. Her and my dad got into a fight. He was drunk and wanted sex as usual. I heard them in the bedroom and he came out and left, but my mom came out bleeding. I called 911 and they took us to the hospital. Cops arrested my dad and my mom lost the baby. He was hit with some charges and came home. My mom left that night. We skipped town and moved here. He couldn't take care of me and the schools were on him for a while. Ms. Cabot and Ms. Jeffries called CPS and they took me away when I was in 9th grade. Ms. Jeffries told me he was found dead at the end of the year."

Olivia wanted to ask if something happened to her in foster care. She heard Amanda having nightmares. Sometimes if she got into the room before they would wake her, Olivia could rub her blonde hair and calm her down. She also knew that this was a big step for her and pushing too much too fast could backfire. "I'm sorry baby. That's really tough." Olivia almost smiled as the word baby came out of her mouth. Amanda had to know, "Who is Noah's dad and why is he in heaven?"

Olivia laughed, "Wow, how long have you been holding onto that?" Amanda regretted it immediately, but Olivia explained. "His father's name is Dean Porter." Amanda smiled, "Ohhh Noah Porter Benson." Olivia nodded, "He was an FBI agent. We worked together on several cases. We had sex, lots of sex." She said it to get Amanda's reaction, which was total jealousy. "It was was just sex though. I told him that I was pregnant and at the time I didn't think I would keep it. A week later I was being held hostage in front of him and my partner with a gun to my head. He talked the guy down and told him I was just a cop and he was FBI. He took my place and he was killed."

Amanda looked at Olivia's sad brown eyes, "I'm sorry Liv." Olivia shrugged, "I decided to have Noah, because when he took my place, I think that's what he wanted, a piece of him still here." Olivia got up and looked in a drawer. She came back with a picture. "We weren't in love and I'm sad for Noah sometimes, but he's happy and I can't imagine life without him." Amanda saw his long dark hair and brown eyes. "I know, he looks like him, especially when I don't cut his hair." Amanda smiled, "He was hot. Are you sure you weren't in love?" Olivia took the picture and laughed, "He wasn't who I thought he was, so no. He wasn't completely honest with me and I can't have that in relationships."

Olivia looked at the time, "Is Q over for tonight? Because it's my turn?" Amanda shrugged, "You ask your question and we're even until next time?" Olivia smiled, "Have you been in love?" Amanda smiled because she thought she was in love right now. "I'm not a virgin, Liv." Olivia laughed, "That's not what I asked." Amanda smiled, "I guess not. I've never trusted anyone enough to be in love. Were you going to spank me with your belt?" Olivia smirked, "Still asking questions?" Olivia kissed her head, "Get your ass in gear Amanda Grace Rollins or yes." They both said goodnight.

The next morning Olivia looked in on Amanda, she was still asleep. "Come on big boy. Time to wake up." Noah stretched and yawned, "Mama, I want to stay home with Manda." Olivia kissed him, "Then you would miss swimming today." Noah's eyes lit up. His school was amazing. They ran a summer camp, but allowed the kids to keep a routine of school. He got dressed and Lucy was there to take him as normal. "Do you want me to hang out here?" Olivia knew Lucy had a life and babysitting Amanda wasn't her job. "No, she's ok." Lucy shrugged, "I don't mind, she's cool." Olivia shook her head remembering they were close to the same age.

Olivia went to work and had Amanda on her mind all day. Fin smiled at her across the desk, "Ok Liv, what's the distraction?" Olivia snapped out of it and looked at Fin. Fin was more than her partner, he had saved her life while they were working undercover. When Elliot walked away from the job, he became her family. Olivia was honest, "Amanda." She wanted to see Fin's reaction. Fin smiled, "So, where is this going Liv?" Olivia shrugged, "I want to help her. I guess I did that, but I don't think I'm done." Fin nodded, "She reminds you of yourself, but is there more?" Olivia shrugged not knowing.

Before going home she went to see her best friends. Alex and Monique hugged her, "Hey Liv! How's our girl?" Olivia laughed, "Did y'all know she had a crush on me?" Olivia just looked at them. Alex smiled, "Amanda doesn't just go with people. She doesn't let people take care of her. So, I didn't know, but I suspected." Monique smiled, "She didn't tell you. I know her. You figured it out?" Olivia shook her head, "Casey told me. What the hell do I do? She's a kid and I'm…" Alex stopped her, "Liv, you can't control who you love, but take it slow. Amanda is complicated and her past is too."

Olivia walked in and Noah came running as usual. "Mama!" She decided to get to know Amanda and take it slow. Olivia sat Amanda down and asked her about her college plans. Amanda was interested in marketing and wanted to work for the famous People Magazine. Olivia had an idea, she contacted Melinda, because they interviewed her in their top doctors spot not too long ago. Melinda got Amanda a summer job to keep her busy. Other than working, they spent time as a family. Noah even turned 4.

Olivia and Amanda had gotten closer. Amanda never admitted her feelings and she did hide it well. Saying goodbye to Casey was the hardest thing Amanda had to do and Olivia was right there. Noah even held her hand. "Today was hard huh?" Amanda frowned, "No shit Liv." Olivia leaned over, "I'll let that one slide because you're hurting, but don't do it again." Amanda smiled and put her head in Olivia's lap. Olivia rubbed her hair gently and thought maybe this could happen. Amanda wasn't affectionate a lot, but sometimes she was and Olivia liked it and loved her.