Chapter 4

Amanda started school and did online work with People Magazine. The editor she worked with loved her. She came home excited, because they offered to move her around and let her get a feel for the entire operation. She was excited to tell Lucy and Olivia. Amanda, Lucy, and Noah were sitting on the couch when the door opened, "Liv, guess what!" Noah ran to her, but she wasn't alone. "Hey big boy! What's up Amanda? You're excited." When everyone looked at her guest without talking, she figured she should say something, "This is my friend Brian Cassidy. We finished the academy together and he popped into SVU on a case."

Lucy was the only nice one, "Hi!" Amanda was frozen and Noah wasn't quite sure, so he clung to Olivia. "I thought he could stay for dinner." Olivia felt the tension all during dinner, "So, Amanda what was so exciting?" Amanda looked up, "School was cool." Lucy squinted, but she knew what this was. Amanda didn't eat, she just pushed her food around the plate. Brian felt it and excused himself, "Well Liv, it was good seeing you and meeting your family. Take care."

Olivia walked him out and Amanda felt sick thinking about what they were probably doing. "Good the asshole is gone." Lucy rolled her eyes, "You can't blame her. You should come clean." Lucy knew the secret. Olivia came back in and was already upset with the behavior, but Noah was getting ready to make it worse. "Mama, I'm glad the asshole is gone." Amanda coughed and Lucy dropped a glass. Olivia, who was kneeling down in front of him, looked behind him straight at Amanda. "Noah, who said that?" Noah scrunched his eyebrows together, "I don't know mama." Olivia narrowed her eyes at him, "Noah Porter Benson, don't you lie to me." Noah turned, "Sorry Manda."

Olivia stood up, "Luce, can you give him a bath while I speak to Amanda. Noah, we don't say that word." Amanda knew she was in trouble. "Asshole Amanda?" Amanda swallowed, "He's more than a friend isn't he?" Olivia pointed and said, "Sit now!" Olivia decided to treat her like a grownup, "Amanda, a long time ago, Brian and I were involved." Amanda rolled her eyes and shrugged. "But he's getting married in October and he worked with us on a case today. Do you have something to say?" Amanda swallowed hard, "I'm sorry." Olivia scoffed, "That's nice. It won't get you out of trouble, but it's nice." Amanda looked at her, "I like you." Olivia nodded, "I like you too." Amanda shook her head, "I mean. I don't want you to be with someone else because I like you." Olivia wanted to laugh, because Amanda was using her hands to talk and her eyes got big.

Olivia looked at her, "I know, but I was waiting on you to say it." Amanda was shocked. "Amanda, I'm not blind and…" Amanda stood up pacing, "Casey told you? Or was it Lucy?" Olivia wasn't going to lie, "Casey told me." Amanda rolled her eyes, "I know I don't have a chance, but I don't know how to change how I feel. Maybe I should go live on campus." Olivia laughed, "Because I know your little secret or you really want to?" Olivia knew Amanda well, she saw the shutdown coming. She gently cradled her face, "It's ok that you like me. We've gotten close and no matter what this is or what this turns out to be. We are family."

Tears fell down Amanda's face. "Do I have a chance with you?" Olivia sighed, "Amanda, you're young and I don't think you've lived and dated to see what's out there." Amanda pouted, "You have a chance." It was the first time Olivia actually really considered it, "But, I want to see you start school and date. Figure out if you really want me." Amanda didn't like it, "I do." Olivia shook her head, "You may, but is it sex or curiousity. Amanda, I have Noah. That makes my entire life different. I can't just have random flings. We do this my way Amanda or not at all."

Amanda sighed, "Are you going to date? What if you find someone and I don't even get a chance?" Olivia knew this was hard, but it was right, "Then maybe we aren't meant to be. I want you to try. Be a kid. Go to parties. Come home late and make me yell at you." Amanda smiled a little, "How long?" Olivia was serious, "A year." Amanda's whole body froze, "Can I have a kiss?" Olivia wasn't sure about that, "What? Why?" Amanda turned, "I can't just date and do whatever if I don't know what I'm comparing. I want you, but if I have to wait a year I will. I just hope you're still waiting for me."

Olivia sighed and leaned in. She gave Amanda the sweetest and most sexy kiss at the same time. She gave her tongue and even sucked on her top and bottom lip. Amanda smiled, "You have to agree to something." Olivia nodded, "You have to go on dates with me once a month. You pick, then I pick. That way we stay close and honest and get to know each other. I know I live here, but that's family time. I want to continue working on our friendship." Olivia smiled, "Ok! Deal." Amanda went to her room but stopped, "Oh and I get kisses on date nights."

Amanda started school and thrived. She joined clubs, met friends, dated guys and girls. She actually really liked this Pre law student named Dominick Carisi. The sexual part was there, but the love wasn't. She met another Pre law student named Kim Greylek. They went to all of the parties together. She wasn't Casey, she was a little wild. She got drunk and fooled around with her in her dorm room. She definitely wasn't Olivia though. She remembered waiting until 9 AM to go home and change since everyone would be gone. Olivia was there waiting. "You know I said stay out late, not don't come home. Having fun?" Amanda felt like a kid in trouble, "I didn't want to wake Noah." Olivia was a little jealous, "Well, if you're not too busy, tonight is my date night." Amanda held up her phone, "I remembered."

Amanda did well her first year and continued working. She felt proud knowing she had her own money and didn't have to solely depend on Olivia. In May Amanda had enough and decided to bring it up at date night. "Liv, I don't want to do this anymore." Olivia looked up from her dessert, "Date nights?" Amanda shook her head, "Dating other people." Olivia laughed, "I said a year and you still have 3 months on our deal. My way, remember?" Amanda didn't like that and for the next two weeks, she gave Olivia hell. It was like the Amanda she met at school that day.

When Olivia had enough she asked to see her once Lucy left and Noah was in bed. "What do you want, Liv?" Olivia smiled, "Come here." Amanda walked over unsure why she was being nice. Olivia quickly turned though. She pulled Amanda down and spanked her ass five times before letting her go. Amanda jumped up holding her butt, "Owww Liv! What the f…" she stopped seeing Olivia reach for her belt. "Are we done with your temper tantrum?" Amanda just nodded. "Amanda, I …" Amanda cut her off and immediately started arguing, "I did everything. So what's fucking 3 months? I want you. I love you. Don't you get it? If you say no, then you don't love me. And if that's true, then tell me." Olivia watched her, "If you had let me finish I was going to say, Amanda, I love you." Amanda smiled and was finally happy.

Amanda looked at Olivia's belt and badge on her waist. She ran her finger on the buckle, "Were you going to hit me with this?" Olivia smiled, "No, but you know that." Amanda smiled and undid the buckle and pants, "Those last two hits on my ass a minute ago weren't like the first three." Olivia grabbed her ass and pushed her on the bed, "Stay right there!" Olivia left the room. She looked in on Noah and came back with a glass of ice water. She drank the water down and set it beside her on the bed. Olivia pulled off Amanda's shirt and undid her bra. "Amanda, are you sure? I need you to be sure." Amanda stood up and pulled off Olivia's shirt and bra and kissed her lips, "I'm sure."

Amanda looked at Olivia's breast and realized she couldn't compare. Olivia could see her doubts and pushed her down on the bed. She grabbed an ice cube and put it in her mouth. She ran it across Amanda's lips, then moved down the middle of her breasts. She circled each one of her light pink nipples. Amanda's breathing became heavy and when Olivia moved the ice cube down and watched it melt in her bellybutton, Amanda's stomach was moving so fast that the water began to spill out. Olivia undid her pants and pulled them off then moved above her, "Are you ok?" Amanda hugged her neck, "Yeah, more than ok."

Olivia kissed her and moved slowly down her body. Olivia pushed Amanda's knees on the edge of the bed and pushed them open at her knees. She attacked her lower lips by licking and sucking. "Mmmmm Liv!" Olivia enjoyed her sweet taste and dipped her tongue in causing Amanda to try and close her legs. "Nope, you wanted this and me right?" Amanda bit her lip, "Mmmmmm! Fuck Liv!" Olivia used her tongue to circle her clit and held her legs open until Amanda came screaming her name, "Fuck Liv!" Olivia moved up and held her until her body stopped shaking. Amanda used her finger to circle Olivia's darker nipples, "I love you Olivia Benson." Olivia held her, "You better Amanda Rollins."

The transition was easy because Amanda was always around. They weren't sure Noah completely understood, but he loved Amanda and she loved him. The summer flew by and Noah turned 5. It was a huge deal. "Mama, that means big boy school!" Amanda held him, "And you're going to be a good big boy right?" Olivia laughed, "You're one to talk." Amanda rubbed Noah's hair, "Happy birthday sweet boy." When they put him to bed he had an important question, "Mama, what's Amanda?" Olivia rubbed his cheek, "What do you mean?"

Noah looked at her, "Danny asked if she was my mommy too. He has a mommy and daddy. I told him my daddy was in heaven. Beth has two mommies. So what's Amanda?" Olivia looked at Amanda to make sure she was completely terrified. Amanda moved over, "Well Noah, I'm family. I can be just Amanda or…" Noah scrunched his eyebrows together, "You can't be mama." Olivia sighed and Amanda listened, "Because then you wouldn't know who I was talking to. But you can be mommy. I like mommy better than Amanda." They kissed him goodnight.

Olivia met Amanda in the shower, "I like mommy better too. Does that scare you?" Amanda shook her head, "No. I love Noah." Olivia massaged her body causing her to moan. "I know, but I don't know how you feel about being a mom." Amanda turned and pushed Olivia against the wall of shower and reached to massage her folds. "I can't wait to have more babies with you." Amanda inserted a finger then another and kissed Olivia to cover her scream. Amanda pushed in and pulled out causing her to moan louder and lose control of her body. "Fuck Amanda!" Olivia wrapped her arm around her neck while Amanda held her body.

After the shower sex they laid in bed, "Liv, we need some toys." Olivia smirked, "I'm not enough?" Amanda smiled, "Your fingers are amazing, but I want to fuck you senseless." Olivia smacked her ass, "Watch your mouth." Amanda giggled, "Liv, I do want babies with you." Olivia kissed her, "You have to finish school first. Oh and are you having them or me? Because if I'm having anymore we need to talk." Amanda thought, "I want to have one and you're a cop." Olivia frowned, "Don't say I'm old." Amanda rolled laughing, "I wasn't. But Noah is already 5. If I wait 3 more years, the gap is too much."

Olivia kissed her, "Stop overthinking it. We will figure it out." Amanda was already overthinking. She was stubborn and hardheaded. Instead of going to class she went to check on several things. First a marriage license. She picked up all the information and paperwork. She wasn't sure how Olivia would feel. Then she went to the doctor. She had tests run and even left with several candidates for sperm donation.

When she was leaving her phone rang, "Amanda, I got a call that Noah is sick at school, but there's a problem. I think we both have the same thing. Liv is in the field." Amanda wasn't far. I'm good, take care of yourself. I'll get him." Amanda called Melinda and she said to bring him by. She got to the school, signed him out, and took him to the doctor. He had strep throat and would be out the rest of the week.

She picked up his meds and Gatorade. "Come on buddy. Let's get you on the couch." Amanda got him settled and made him a Gatorade slushie since he wouldn't eat. "Mommy, I like this drink. Can I have a spoon?" Amanda handed him a spoon. "Noah, I'm making homemade chicken noodle soup. When it's done you have to eat ok." Noah nodded. "Don't worry the medicine will make your throat feel better and it won't hurt." He took a nap and Amanda held him.

Olivia flew in him and saw Amanda rubbing his back while he slept. She saw Amanda hold her finger over her lips. Olivia looked at him. She smelled the soup and Amanda pointed to the kitchen. "Hey, wake up. Mama's home." Noah sleepily looked up and spoke with his rough voice, "Hi mama. Mommy took care of me. Olivia kissed his head. "How do you feel?" Noah explained he took his medicine and had a slushie. "Mommy needs a kiss too."

Olivia agreed and kissed her. She leaned in her ear, "Mommy also needs a spanking. You didn't go to school today." Amanda's eyes got wide. They had dinner and they both loved watching Noah slurp his noodles. Amanda sat on the bed waiting for Olivia, "Were you spying on me? How did you know I missed school?" Olivia straddled her, "No. Fin and I were at Hudson and I begged him to wait around for 20 minutes just to find out you weren't in class. Then I got a message from Cragen about Noah. Thank you for taking care of him."

Amanda smiled, "He's my son too." Amanda reached in her book bag and pulled out everything. Olivia flipped through it, "So this is what you were up to. You want to get married?" Amanda reached in her bag and pulled out a box and opened it, "Will you marry Olivia Benson?" Olivia knew Amanda was serious. "Amanda, I love you and yes I will." Amanda smiled wide, "When? Like tomorrow?" Olivia thought, "How about we plan it and get married after you turn 21. You'll still be in school, but at least you will be legal." Amanda frowned, "I'm legal." Olivia laughed, "Barely."