I don't know what the hell this is, I turned on my music one day and just started writing. I've been holding onto this for months because I'm supposed to be working on other things but lately inspiration has been hard to come by. I guess I'm just hoping that putting something new up will help the juices start flowing again.
Title comes from the album "Beautiful Death" by Slaves. The whole album is amazing and deserves a listen, but the first track was mainly what I listened to while writing this... mess. Enjoy the read.
Pan hummed happily as she let herself into hers and Trunks' townhouse, arms laden with takeout bags and a tray with two Thai teas in it. She tossed her keys and car capsule into the bowl on the table just inside the front hall and toed her work shoes off before practically skipping up the stairs to greet her love with lunch.
She was so over the moon, excited to share the news of her promotion at work, she didn't notice the other ki in her home. Pan made her way down the hall to their bedroom, finding the door slightly ajar, and nudged it open so she could enter.
The flash of purple in Pan's peripheral dragged her out of the happy bubble she'd been in.
Lacy dark purple panties hung precariously from the very tip of a perfectly painted red toenail. Shapely fair-skinned legs were bent, spread wide to accommodate the body between them.
The soft metallic clink of a loose belt buckle clicking in time with the sharp thrusts of those well-formed hips, the soft sighs, grunts, and moans… slender fingers, polished an impeccable shade of red threaded through silky lavender locks.
The wooden vanity knocked noisily against the wall, and Pan wondered dimly how she hadn't noticed such a jarring sound.
Four bags of takeout and a cardboard drink tray hit the carpeted floor.
That Thai tea stain was never going to come out.
Two pairs of blue eyes, crystal and ice, looked up in surprise.
Pan stood stock still, a deer in headlights, as her heart shattered into a million pieces. She scrabbled, digging deep inside herself for anger, for that abominable temper she'd inherited from her mother and grandmother. The heat of it washed over her, comforting in its familiarity, washing away her pain and shock in an all-consuming tidal wave.
"P-Panny, I…"
"Oh kami…"
"Marron, kindly get the fuck out of my house." The brunette spoke slowly, enunciating each word. Her voice was deceptively calm and, if it weren't for the dark blaze burning in her eyes and the spiking of her ki, it would've been hard to tell how angry she was.
As it was, the house was beginning to shake minutely as her tenuous grip on her ki began to waver.
Pan waited silently, boring holes into the pair with her eyes as Marron clumsily fixed her clothing and gathered her things before shuffling awkwardly past the shorter woman and leaving the room. She waited until she could sense Marron's fearful ki leaving the premises before she took a deep breath, trying vainly to calm herself. When Trunks finished adjusting his own clothing and reluctantly turned to face her, she finally found her voice again.
"How long?"
"Pan—"
"How. Long?" she snapped, glaring at Trunks, "I want to know. I need to know. I deserve to know how long you were playing me for a fool, fucking Marron of all people behind my back."
"Panny, please, I never meant…" Trunks bit back the rest of that response. Pan scoffed, "you never mean to what? Hurt me?" she laughed bitterly, "a little too late for that, huh? Answer the question, Trunks."
"I kissed her for the first time almost three weeks before I proposed to you."
Pan did the math quickly and, when the answer availed itself, she felt ill, "that was two years ago… Why the hell did you even bother proposing?"
"I pulled away, I told her not to tell anyone about it and that it couldn't happen again but…" the lavender haired demi saiyan lowered his gaze to the floor, "I went back to her six months later."
"You were going to marry me," she stared into the middle distance, the abject disbelief tempering her rage for a moment, "have kids with me, while you were seeing her on the side… I… you never planned on telling me, did you? You were going to marry me, start the rest of our lives together, build our future together on top of a damn lie?"
"Once we were married, I was going to stop seeing her, I swear," Trunks looked up at her, "I didn't want to hurt you. It was a – I just slipped up, it wasn't supposed to go on as long as it did."
"You tried staying away from her before and it didn't work," Pan looked at him incredulously, lips curled with disgust, "what makes you think getting married was gonna help you stay away from her? So because we werejust dating or just engaged, it was a free pass for you to fuck other women, is that it? It only counts as cheating if we're married?"
"Pan, please… just give me a chance," the saiyan prince pleaded, clasping his hands together as if he were supplicating her, "I can fix this, I promise."
"There's nothing to fix, Trunks." Pan muttered, removing the sparkling ring from her left hand, "something this broken… there's no fixing this. I can't… I'm done." She dropped the ring on the floor, ignoring the pained noise her former fiancé made, and shook her head, "I loved you more than anything," angry tears bit at the backs of her eyes, "you were one of the most important people in my life and you did this to me!" she cried, "how could you not see how wrong this was? How could you think that hiding it would've made it go away?"
"It ate me up inside, but I thought… I thought if you never knew, things would eventually go back to the way they were."
The thought of attending future reunions and parties, having Marron smile and be friendly with her when she was sleeping with her husband, and being played for a fool filled the quarter saiyan with a dizzying amount of rage and nausea.
"Why didn't I see this?" she muttered to herself, mind racing as she ran the past two years forwards and back in her mind, "how the hell did I miss this?"
Trunks had been the epitome of the perfect boyfriend and fiancé. He was present, loving, and constantly doting on her and engaging her every whim. She'd never had a reason to suspect anything like this. She'd loved him so much, so deeply, completely and utterly… how could she have been so blind?
"I was careful," Trunks explained haltingly, hating every word as it slipped from his lips, "I used business trips and lunches to cover my tracks, and I never took her anywhere public… Panny, please believe me, I ambeyond sorry. I just… I couldn't stay away from her."
"D-do you love her?"
"No," he shook his head vehemently, "it was never about love. I just… wanted her. You're the only one I love, I swear."
If you loved me so much, you wouldn't have "wanted her" badly enough to ruin our relationship over it! Pan pinched the bridge of her nose, swallowing back bile as she tried to order her thoughts. She was so angry she could barely think straight, but underneath that was this numbness that continued to grow and spread like a contagious disease.
"I'm leaving," Pan spoke firmly, "I'm going to go stay with my parents," she cut off his protests, "I'll move my stuff out after a while, and then the house will be yours."
"P-Panny, you don't have to move out," Trunks whispered, pained, "I should go, this is my fault."
"I – you really think I want to stay here?" the quarter saiyan's stomach roiled violently, "you were just fucking another woman on my dresser… and you think I want the house. The only reason I'd want it is to burn it to the fucking ground." With ki blasts. While laughing. Preferably in an unhinged and utterly deranged manner.
"We can release a joint statement to cancel the wedding," kami, the rag sheets and tabloids are gonna eat this shit RIGHT up, "and then I want you to stay the hell away from me."
The look Trunks gave her then was so heartbreaking, it made tears spill over her lower lids and down her cheeks. She hated herself for loving him so much that, even after what he'd done, she was still reacting to his hurt. Fuck him, this is NOTHING compared to what he's done to me!
"This isn't just heartbreaking," she whispered, "it's… we were friends long before we started dating and I trusted you more than anyone, save for Grampa Goku. This is… this is… I…" she struggled for words as a lump formed in her throat, "this hurts, Trunks. It hurts so badly; I don't think you understand. I can barely look at you without feeling sick to my stomach."
"You can't hate me as much as I hate myself, as much as I've hated myself for being so weak," the lavender haired demi saiyan uttered, "but I'll leave you alone. I owe you that much." It's the least I could do after what I've done…
Pan left the room at a sprint, practically throwing herself down the stairs, out the front door, and into the air. She angled herself for Mount Paozu and let the wind whipping past her dry her tears.