A/N: Just as I promised. The newest chapter^^

And thank you so much for the reviews. They made me so happy.
To my anonymous reviewer, you're definitely right! Sesshōmaru is an arse. You're absolutely right that his jealously and his obsessiveness are not fair, but then again: This is Sesshōmaru we're talking about. I find him always very difficult to write. Also, this story is set in the 16 hundredths. Times were so different (which is sometimes difficult for me too)^^ Although, Youkai society might work a bit different, but I do think the basic rule around that men were in charge. Thank you again for your reviews. I enjoy them very much!

This chapter will have the (close) to M characteristics this story will head off to. Still, I don't think it's 'sexual' enough for the rating to go up to 'M'.

And on with the story! Enjoy^^

o.O.o

Chapter Thirty-one, Feelings we don't Share

'Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life.' — Buddha

Weak streams of pale moonlight filtered in through the bedroom window. The rain floated in gentle waves pattering down on the windows and the air was humid. Silver shimmering dust particles floated through the room and a small light bulb, Chiharu used when she was a little girl expelled a hazy light over the wooden floorboards and was reflected from the old vanity mirror and fell on the old photograph of a large sakura tree, taken during springtime when she'd been eight-years-old.

Chiharu Higurashi lay flat on her back in the bed, her purple sheets wrapped around her small form and her breathing quick. Her pyjama itching against thighs and arms. She'd struggled to fall asleep all night, but so far she had little luck. And when she did, she dreamed.

She dreamed of him glancing at her sharply. With a ferocity, she hadn't known before and did not dull when she met his gaze. The resentment, although still very visible in his features, had made space for an all too real wanting. It wasn't a look she was familiar with. Not really.

Two weeks had elapsed since her last meeting with Sesshōmaru, but her mind still reeled. He had wanted her. He was obsessed with her. And the biggest problem was that unbeknownst to her, she had been just as obsessed with him. The time she'd spent hiding away from him, horrified and confused by his touch, the heat in his eyes, had taught her that she was obsessed.
She'd wanted him. She would have loved to tell it was solely the Mark's work, and perhaps it played a part, but she could tell it hadn't been. She might have pushed him away, but it was only because of Inuyasha intervening… Of Inuyasha intervening, that stopped them. She'd been so horrified, she'd literally fled back home, in her mother's soothing embrace.

Her mother, dear mama, thought she was upset. Like her sister Kagome was, when Inuyasha stomped over her feelings with little care. But it wasn't the same. From a clinical point of view she understood that despite everything she said and thought about the man, about the yōkai, she was very much attracted to him. Sango, who she hadn't seen for two weeks, had admitted she could understand that feeling. Even without a mark binding her to him, Sango thought Inuyasha's older brother was very handsome. Chiharu did definitely agree with the other girl on that. Sesshōmaru was quite tall, broad-shouldered and had a square, marble-cut jaw with high aristocratic cheekbones and long silver lashes. She had noticed before that those lashes would brush against his cheeks when he blinked, and she'd wonder if they would be as feathery light as they looked. He was even more handsome than Arjun, a boy she was seeing, was. It confused her. It irritated her.

The preternatural gracefulness Sesshōmaru moved with, was not meant to be admired but only meant to be feared. So why, while she actually knew how dangerous the full-blooded yōkai was, did she actually entertain such silly thoughts about him? Whatever desire that had borne from his obsessive nature, shouldn't have affected her. And obsessive he was.

She curled her toes and grumbled under her breath.

Remembering the way he looked was not the worst part though. Some dreams had little to do with appreciating his beauty. Even the memory made her cheeks flush. Ever since their last meeting, she would remember the way his body moulded to hers like a magnet. His angles strangely corresponding to all her (barely-there) curves.

It send strange thrills of fear and excitement down her spine. It's enticing, dangerous and— wrong.

She just couldn't understand why it had to be him.

She rubbed her thighs together, searching for friction, and momentarily buried her flushed face in her pillow. When she turned around again, Chiharu's face was flushed a dark red. She had never dreamed of something like that before. She could still feel the phantom lips hot against her stomach and she shot straight up in bed. She licked her lips and reminded herself of the reasons why she had told him off.

Chiharu turned to her side and hugged her pillow to her chest. Pressing her thighs together.

The yellow plastic alarm clock on her wooden nightstand ticked noisily and she groaned before sitting up. Her hair was messily framing her heart-formed face and her bi-coloured eyes shone in the darkness. The house, so far away from the busy road, is silent, yet the sound of the cars and the people was loud in her ears. For almost a year her ears and eyes had sharpened and yet, she was still unused to her senses. So many things still confused her. The mark, barely noticeable against the column of her pale throat sometimes itched and it was still pinkish as if irritated.

Even beyond the well, Sesshōmaru's influence continued.

Grumbling under her breath again, she swung her legs over the side of her bed and stomps barefoot to the window. Outside the air is grey with a soft drizzle and she peers at the rivets of water running down the still surface of the window. With a soft hiss, she settled on the slightly too-small-window sill and wrapped her arms around her knees.

She'd been fifteen when she followed her sister through the well and swapped the twentieth century for the sixteenth. To fight Yōkai and find the pieces of the Shikon-No-Tama her older sister accidentally broke to safe a pour human child from a grazed yōkai. It was how Chiharu met Inuyasha the grumpy Inu-Hanyō, Sango the Tajija with her alley Kirara, Mirōku the Hōshi with his cursed hand and Shippō the little fox-kit. The little band of misfits, which her mother fondly called the 'shard-hunters' trekked around ancient Japan in order to find as many Shikon Jewel shards and bring down the ominous and always elusive Naraku.

Even with Naraku lurking in the shadows and tainting people's life, ancient Japan was in many ways beautiful. Yet, Ancient Japan was also where Chiharu had met Sesshōmaru, Inuyasha's hated and obsessive half-brother. The Daiyōkai who, in a scheme to get his hands on Inuyasha's prized sword Tetsusaiga, had bitten (marked really) her and had changed her essence. She was his walking talking experiment. But with the mark, a mating bond of some sorts, came a quickly changing metabolism. Her healing rate went up and her body and skin became tougher, less fragile. It seemed somewhat like a pleasant side effect, but Chiharu didn't think it was. The mark made her vulnerable. He could affect her with it, could control her with it. Control her feelings and her thoughts and she just wasn't sure what thoughts were hers and what was driven by Sesshōmaru's obsessive need to control her.

At some point, it just became too much. Sesshōmaru demanded she would be at his back and call, like some kind of trophy wife (but then without the wife-part) and with her friends' lives hanging in the balance, she didn't think she had any other choice than leaving. There was no Sesshōmaru in present time.

There was no dictator-yōkai setting about to ruin her life. She could be normal and enjoy her teenage years. Even if she missed her friends and her sister. She missed the relationship she had with her sister and wanted to see Shippō-chan again.

And she missed him too—

With an irritated sigh, she peered at her reflection. She had a pale heart-formed face with one brown and one blue eye. Her long dark hair, straight with slightly wavy ends was tousled from all the tossing and her cheeks were flushed. She didn't think there was much remarkable about her except for her the bi-coloured eyes — a trait that had tourists falling over themselves to take pictures with her — and she pressed her lips together. Apart from the mark he shouldn't have wanted her like that at all…

I-I. ⌡. Γ┐

It was a slow trek up the slippery shrine steps, her polka-dotted umbrella leaning in the crook of her elbow. Her bag with textbooks rhythmically beat against her back and rain pelted down on the stretched material of her umbrella and the sides of her shoulders. The rain was relentless, drenching her white socks and making feet sop into her simple sneakers. She couldn't find it in her to care and slowly, umbrella swaying and rain stinging against her cheek, searched through her raincoat's pockets. Before she could even open the lock, the front door sprang open and Mrs Higurashi, armed with her bright purple grocery bag and a large umbrella, stepped out.

"Chiharu-chan," she greeted, "you're home early, I thought you were going to see Arjun-kun?"

Arjun Nori was a seventeen-year-old High school senior. He was gentle and kind with large brown eyes and a sharp jaw. Essentially, he was every girl's dream. He had been her dream-man for a while, but as time passed by, she realised, choosing a human to start a relationship with, wasn't fair. No matter how much she'd initially liked him, it just wasn't fair—

"Yes," she admitted, "I was, but, well, he's starting to see this other girl—"

"Oh Honey,"

"No," Chiharu shook her head, dislodging the water clinging to the ends of her hair, "it's okay. Going after him would be unfair anyway."

Her mother looked at her with something akin to pity and Chiharu blew a damp lock of hair out of her face. "Can I go inside? I'm getting kind of cold."

"Right, of course,"

Her school uniform was sticking to her like a second skin and her raincoat, which was supposed to be waterproof, dripped water down on the wooden floor. Her nose twitched when she recognised Inuyasha's scent and—

"Inuyasha is here to see you." Her mother explained.

"Right," she nodded, dropping her rucksack below the coat rack in the entrance hall, took her water-bottle out and crossed the hall towards the living room.

"Do you want me to take something out of the convenience store?" Her mother asked,

"No," Chiharu shook her head, "No, I'm fine."

The door fell closed behind her with a thud. Inuyasha was seated on the cream couch, legs crossed and hands leaning on his knees. A cup he might have used to eat Ramen, sat on the edge of the white wooden table in front of the couch and on a bannister on the right side of the light room, several photographs of the Higurashi family stood. Her eyes were automatically drawn to the young man with the two small girls on his lap and she shook her head.

Inuyasha stared at her with large amber eyes and Chiharu smiled tightly.

"Hi,"

He made a noncommittal sound and she sat down on the creme-coloured sofa adjacent to the couch. He threw her a white plait her mother kept around for visitors to sit on and she wrapped it around her slightly-shivering form.

"Thanks. How are things going?"

Inuyasha shrugged, the muscles in his neck tensing and silver hair cascading down his shoulders. "Naraku has a new incarnation: Hakūdoshi. He's a pain."

"I see," she whispered, she felt his youki wash over her and her own youki responded. Ever since that day a bit more than a year ago, she had gotten the metabolism equal to that of a weasel's. She sniffed dedicatedly and peered into his face. He was openly staring at her, a small frown furrowing his silver eyebrows and the white dog-ears on top of his head twitched.

"You smell different."

"I do?"

"Hn,"

She stiffened. It was a silly thing to do, but she couldn't help it. Her jaws snapped together with an audible crunch and her shoulder-blades locked stiffly together. He didn't seem to notice, hands itching and her eyes were drawn to the encrusted dark brown dirt under his talons. She's pretty sure they are remnants of blood.

"How are things between you and Kagome-Nee-chan?"

She knew how things were between him and Kagome. Ever since Kagome-chan had learned of the drunken and not at all romantic kiss Inuyasha had given her when they'd staggered around in the forest near the little village of Edo.

"Your mother mentioned a boy?"

She might have imagined the bitter undertone to that question. His amber eyes flashed. She might not have imagined the bitter undertone.

"Yes," she admitted, "but he's— it will never work. He's nice, pretty and most of all, he's human. It— it just won't work."

"Human?"

"I think—" she started, rubbing her fingers across her temples, "no, I noticed I don't age much."

He leant further forward his knee bumping hers. "I'm not—"

"Nee-chan develops much faster than I do." She finally decided on. Just like any girl her age Kagome had started to outgrow her childlike features. The only stubborn chubby fat that remained was clinging to her stomach, but other than that she was becoming very pretty. Chiharu wasn't necessarily not pretty. She was just not so developed. She was thin and tiny. Her mother called her willowy.

Inuyasha's cheeks had turned an interesting tint of pink. "Er—"

"You age slower than the average human right?"

"Yes," he agreed, latching on the change of subject — eager to leave female development behind — and he shifted. He appraised her with an impressively impatient sneer, thinking hard before: "I've outlived several people already."

He seemed to realise what he'd just said and his ears flattened on top of his head. "'Suppose it's very likely you'll outlive the average human."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. So a human is not really an option."

His face twisted in a harsh, unforgiving scowl and she took a measured gulp of her water bottle. "Inuyasha, we're tiptoeing around the subject. We both know you came here for a reason. And it wasn't to talk to me about boys and other more embarrassing subjects."

"—No," he nodded, "—I'm here to take your sorry arse back through the well."

"Really now?"

"Yeah, ain't that right."

"Your brother—" she started hesitantly. Of all the things and the humiliating and confusing feelings, she was rather afraid of him. Ever since he'd smelled Arjun's scent on her after a kiss they'd, she'd seen a fury and possessiveness that had scared her. It might have been the same heated look that turned her on in the privacy of her bedroom, it did also scare her.

"You promised you would help to collect the jewel shards." He told her matter-of-factly, rolling the sleeves of his red haori up his forearms. "And you might keep the ones we've collected so far, Naraku's still not defeated."

"I thought you lot didn't need me."

"At least you know how to fight."

It was the closest thing to a compliment, coming from Inuyasha's mouth and she pursed her lips. It was also not really all that true. She could handle herself. Knew some hand-to-hand combat and was a decent archer, but compared to Sango or Mirōku she didn't hold a candle.

Chiharu sucked her cheeks between her molars and pursed her lips. "Thanks,"

Inuyasha shrugged his shoulders carelessly and she took a granola bar from the bowl on the dining table and offered him one too. He waited for her to scrunch up the wrapper and followed her example before biting down at the gooey chocolate. He threw the wrapper on the table and she curled her legs under her.

"Your brother—"

"We haven't seen him since your fall out with him."

"He hasn't been around," she mumbled, her eyebrows furrowing together, "I— I need to think about it."

"What's there to think about?" He snapped annoyed.

"I've not been feeling so well." She mumbled awkwardly. It wasn't entirely untrue and Chiharu leant her elbows on her knees.

"Bullshit."

She exhaled and flopped backwards. It was bullshit. Being excited — sexually speaking — was one thing, but being scared of what she would do, was stupid. She looked at Inuyasha again. His skin pale and shallow, hair lanky framing his face and amber eyes missing their usual bite. After searching for Naraku, the Hanyō who'd made so many enemies, they'd tracked him down to St Hakurei (again). The holy shield around the mountain was still going strong, and it was only after Kikyō convinced Saint Hakushin to dissolve the barrier, Naraku's miasma corrupted the mountain, turning the once rich vegetation into a barren wasteland and making it take a very jagged, rough appearance. The yōkai, that had hidden inside the mountain, started to emerge from the caves now that they could escape without being purified. Kikyo was the first to face Naraku in his new form, and lost, falling to her death.

Inuyasha was devasted. Not had he lost his first love once, but now twice. She curled her arms around her legs and leaned her chin on her knees. "How have you been doing?"

Sorrow-filled eyes met hers and the muscles in her stomach twisted painfully.

"I'm sorry,"

"It ain't your fault."

"No," she admitted, running her fingers through her hair. "I don't know how to deal with your brother."

"He won't force you."

Chiharu snorted. The last time she'd seen him, he was certainly about to. Or at least he'd lost himself to his jealousy and she had never been so afraid. Afraid of what would happen, but above all, afraid of what she'd wanted that day. She cradled her burning face in her hands and bit down on her lower lip. Yet, in a moment of pure adrenaline and worry, her power had rippled through her, pushing him back and she, coward that she was, ran away. That had been weeks ago. She supposed now that he had reigned the control back over himself, she might be safe.

"Kagome sent me to talk to you about the Mark."

"What?"

"You know—" he started awkwardly, pointing at her neck. At the puckered pink skin at the base of her neck and she traced her fingers over the soft scarred tissue. Normally, if there was one topic of conversation Inuyasha never had been willing to pursue it had been that. Or girl problems. He and Mirōku both got amusedly flustered when the topic girl-problems was broached.

"I know,"

To be continued...

A/N: Next update upcoming Thursday^^.

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