As advised Noah Porter Benson stood in the sweats he slept in, backpack slung over his shoulder half asleep at Rafael's hotel door early the following morning. Rafael grinned as the boy incoherently mumbled something as he hugged his pseudo Uncle before kicking his shoes off and slipping into Rafael's empty bed.
"Ah sure Noh, just make yourself comfortable." Olivia chuckled incredulously as Rafael shrugged amused.
"We're family. Family is meant to be comfortable."
"You know he's only like that with you."
"Well as you so pointed out, he has been my mini for most of his existence, so I should hope he feels comfortable with me." Olivia swallowed back her emotions and just nodded.
"You ready to go?" She asked as he stood before her in his jeans, sweater and dare she say sneakers looking like an incredibly hip Dad of a toddler. He grabbed his jacket, scarf and gloves as he followed her out the door.
"Late start? Since when?"
"It's my way of easing Amanda into it. I started coming in later and later as she starts earlier."
"Look at you with a succession plan." Olivia gave his shoulder with a light nudge with hers as they got in the elevator.
They had stayed on the phone for about an hour before both of their exhaustion won over the night before. They had mostly talked about what the kids have been up. He had told her more of the fruition of Catalina how tough it was in the first few months after she was born. How he had questioned his own arrogance that it was something he would just wing through. She reminded him of those first few months with Noah. Their topic of conversation remained light. Knowing they would have plenty of time to hash out the harder things. There was almost a silent understanding that they would stay away from hard topics until after the holiday. To just enjoy what had always come naturally to them which was the ease of their friendship.
"Why aren't you and Catalina staying with your Mom?"
"I didn't want her to fuss, and you know my mother. She would be cleaning before, during and after. She would be cooking, baking and God knows what. Like she doesn't already do that without the added hysteria of Christmas."
"And she agreed to you guys staying at a hotel."
"Surprisingly yes, but she didn't really get a choice. I am however worried that her agreement is a sign that she is feeling more poorly that she is letting on. Thank you by the way."
"For what?"
"For checking in on her regularly. For allowing Noah to adopt her as Abuelita. For awhile there, that was as close to is as she was going to get. She has loved him as a Nieto ever since."
"Like you said last night, that goes both ways. I appreciated that she too remained. In a way seeing her, talking to her made me feel a little closer to you. Like you weren't completely gone from my life. I needed that." It was a cold winter's morning and he rolled his eyes as she pulled her collar up trying to block the wind.
"Nothing changes clearly Benson," he said dryly.
"What?" she asked confused at the side step. Rafael unwrapped the scarf from around his neck and wrapped it around hers.
"You are always cold but always forget helpful things like scarfs and gloves." Rafael removed his gloves and offered it to her,
"Rafa, no. You'll be cold." She protested. He gave her another eye roll and placed his gloves in her hand before shoving his hands in his pocket.
"I'm Cuban. I am my own heating unit."
"Ahh yes, I have missed you especially in winters."
"Yeah I can't say the same for your always icy hands and feet that you insist on warming on me." Olivia feigned sadness and pouted him.
"You haven't missed me?"
"Don't be dramatic Benson. I said I didn't miss your icy feet and hands."
"But they're a part of me, so to miss me you have to miss all of me." Rafael shook his head and lead her in the direction of one of their old coffee haunts.
"I know you said walk, but why don't I take you out to breakfast and keep you out of the cold winter wind."
"I'm not opposed to breakfast. Is that because you know my teenage son is going to drag you to an establishment like iHop and you wanted somewhere with fancier things on the menu." She teased as he grinned.
"Man my age can no longer eat like a growing teenager."
"You're looking pretty good Barba." She commented and blushed when she realised how it sounded.
"You're pretty stunning yourself there Benson. Years haven't aged you."
"Liar, but thank you."
Breakfast was filled with her telling him about retirement. What had finally led to retirement and what her plans were for retirement.
"I'm going to take a break for a few months. I've received a grant to write a book. So that gives me the year to work on that and my next steps. There's a few organisations that have reached out but I am so tired Rafa that a year to just not have to think would be great."
"I can't think of anyone who deserves that more Liv. A book huh? A memoir? When you write about me make sure you describe me to be dashing." Olivia let out a hearty laugh.
"Who said you'd make it to my memoir,"
"You would make to mine!" He said indignantly as he laughed.
"I'll let you read mine if I can read yours." She countered.
"We can make a lawyer out of you yet Captain."
"No thank you. As of the New Year I will be a retiree. Which brings me to a question,"
"Yes Liv,"
"Will you come to my retirement party. Seems only fitting to have you there to kick out my career."
"Wouldn't miss it. And seeing as we've been about the disclosures, I received an invitation and I was always going to go. Whether you knew I was there or not would have been another story but I wouldn't miss a celebration of your career. I'm really proud of you Olivia."
"Thank you Rafael."
After breakfast they went for a short walk before he walked her to the 1-6.
"Did you want to come in?" She asked. She saw him hesitate and his demeanour alter slightly. The memories of the 1-6 were dominated by those last days. When he took Wheatley on and she had asked him to not to. He didn't want to go into the 1-6 for the same reasons he hadn't set foot in Forlini's since that night she told him she would never get over his betrayal.
"No. It's okay. I'll let you get work done."
"Rafa,"
"It's okay Liv. I promise. There's just some places..."
"I get that. I've avoided the courthouse ever since that day. I don't think I've even set foot in Forlini's." Rafael gave her a small smile.
"Me too."
"I'll see you once I'm done here. Let me know where you want me to meet you guys."
"Catie wanted to see Santa. She wanted to take a photo with him with Noah. They've had one every year since she was born. Lucy used to time it for when she took Noah shopping for your present." He explained as she looked surprised.
"Why don't we wait for you?" Olivia smiled.
"I'd love that. I'll let you know one I'm done here."
"Great. Have a good day."
"You too."
"Hey Rafa,"
"Yeah Liv,"
Olivia wordlessly stepped into his space and wrapped her arms around his shoulders drawing him into a hug. Rafael's arms quickly encircled her waist drawing her closer. Olivia's face dropped to his neck as his to her shoulder. It was the first hug they had shared since before he told her that he was representing Wheatley. Tears filled both their eyes as they clung to each other. He felt her tremble against him so he just hugged her tighter. Without a shadow of doubt they had missed the each other and without the other there was a hole they tried so hard to ignore. Being in each other's presence the last 18 hours was the first time they had felt peace in five years. Home.
As Rafael walked back to the hotel he sent her the photos from previous Santa shoots. Olivia grinned. It warmed her heart that it was important to him to have Noah in those shoots with his daughter. How Catalina had grown up obviously regarding Noah as her older brother and loved him in that stead.
"Thank you for the photos. I love them. So I had thoughts."
"You're welcome and uh oh."
"No uh oh, but it's a conversation thing. I'm just filing this as an idea to run by you later." When her phone began to ring she chuckled,
"Patience is clearly not your virtue."
"Never has been. Tell me your thoughts. Because clearly you're not Captain-ing right now."
"Wow you make up your own words now too?" She wondered out loud.
"Point Benson,"
"I know you Barba's are big on Christmas traditions. The tree trimming thing, the Noche Buena, baking, matching pjs etc. I know you don't want to lay that on your Mom and she'd insist. Would she or you be open to relocating the festivities elsewhere. And please tell me if I'm overstepping. It was just a thought." She added.
"Relocating to?"
"Casa Benson,"
"You haven't put your tree up?"
"No we were going to do it this weekend. We've had some big cases the last couple of weeks. Noah isn't as enthusiastic about it as when he was when he was little. They can do the baking and cookie decorating at ours. That way your Mom doesn't have to clean up at the end of every day but you can still do all the usual things. You can do all the prepping and cooking at mine for Noche Buena so she doesn't have to. Again tell me if it's too much."
"Liv stop. You're offering your house for us to take over so it would make it easier on Mami. Thank you."
"It's what families do Barba."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course."
"Does that mean your offering to be my sous chef?"
"Sure but you don't get to be mad at me when I don't do it right." She pointed out as he laughed.
"Let me talk to Mami and get back to you. Thank you Liv."
"You're welcome Rafa."
By the time Rafael had returned Catalina was bathed and dressed for the day. Noah had showered and got ready before she woke up so he could get her ready.
"Thanks for getting her ready Noh."
"No problem. How was coffee?"
"Good kid. Real good and thank you." Rafael said placing a hand on Noah's shoulder meaningfully.
"Well when you're dealing with the most stubborn people in your life one had to be creative."
"Alright smarty pants. What do you guys feel like for breakfast?"
"Waffles Papi," Catalina piped in.
"Noh?"
"I'm good with waffles."
"Alright, let's go."
After feeding Noah and Catalina they headed over to his mother's. She had long since retired as a teacher but often volunteered at the local community centre helping kids with homework that didn't have it at home. He grew worried at how tired she seemed. It was what had him essentially to take Olivia up on her offer.
"Mami, you're worrying me."
"I am fine Mijo. Mami's just gotten old."
"Pffft. Says the lady that doesn't look a day over 40."
"Flatterer. How was coffee? Tell me." Noah snickered as he and Catalina were playing Spot it on the dining table.
"Clearly someone's already tattled." Rafael said dryly.
"It was good Mami. It was nice to just be us. To forget for awhile the things that tore us apart."
"You have both missed each other."
"Yeah we have." He replied.
"Mami, Olivia offered to host Barba Christmas Festivities at her place so that you don't have to be running around. Which isn't a bad idea. I'm happy for us to do it here but you're never going to sit still and the moment we leave I know you'll start fussing and cleaning and preparing." He said knowingly.
"The other idea is Catie and I take you back to New Haven and we can spend the holidays there." Lucia looked over at Noah and Catie who were giggling as they slammed their hands on the table calling out items they had spotted.
"They should get to spend Christmas together." She said softly,
"They will Mami. Liv and I have talked. Whatever you decide we will make sure those two are together for Christmas. I just want you to take it easy this Christmas, por favor." Lucia could see the worry in his eyes and cupped his cheek.
"You're a good boy Rafi. I don't say it enough but I am so proud of you. I love you."
"Te amo Mami."
"You tell Olivia operation relocating Christmas is on." Rafael grinned and kissed her cheek.
"Aunt Liv!!!" Catalina shrieked with excitement as her father opened the door revealing Olivia who arrived in the late afternoon with dinner on hand. Olivia handed Barba the bags in her hands to free her arms to receive Catalina who was running towards her.
"Hi my Little Lina. Did you have a good day with Abuelita and the boys?" Olivia asked as she picked her up.
"Yeah Noh and I played games and he taught me how to draw."
"That's nice of him. Hi my love." She greeted as Noah came to kiss her on the cheek.
"Abuelita still napping?" She asked turning to Rafael.
"Yeah. I was just about to wake her when you knocked on the door." Olivia nodded. She could see that he was worried. She placed a hand on his harm and gave it a squeeze.
"Why don't you wake her and the kiddos and I can set the table for an early dinner so she can get an early night if she's still tired."
"Sounds good. Thanks Liv."
"Of course."
In the middle of setting the table Catalina headed off to her Abuelita's room. Noah glanced towards the bedroom worriedly.
"How was she today?" Olivia asked.
"Same, but slower if that makes sense. Uncle Rafa is pretty worried."
"How long has she been like this? Has she been to the Doctor's?"
"Just the last couple of weeks. Yeah Uncle Rafa comes most weekends to visit with her and takes her to all of her appointments. They haven't found anything, which is what I think he's most worried about. At least if he knew what it was he would know how to fix it." Olivia smiled. Very little has changed with Rafael Barba, including his innate need to fix and help those he loves most in the world.
"Mija, it is so good to see you." Lucia said as she came out of her room Rafael close behind trying not to hover. She could see why Rafael was worried. She hoped whatever it was that was ailing Lucia was only a bug that would eventually pass.
"Mami," Olivia smiled widely at the woman she had grown to love as her own. After she and Rafael had parted ways Lucia's arms and doors remained open to her and to Noah. Olivia wrapped her arms around the older woman with such affection.
"It has been too long." She whispered as Lucia squeezed her hand with understanding and compassion.
During dinner Olivia had sat beside Lucia as Catalina eventually found her way into Aunt Liv's lap during dessert which Rafael did not have the heart to correct knowing Olivia didn't mind. If not enjoying the affection of his daughter as her arms remained around Catalina's waist. The conversation at the dinner table was loud, jovial and fun as they discussed Operation Christmas. It was a week before Christmas and they had their list cut out for them. It started with Christmas tree trimming the following evening.
"If we're doing Operation Barba Christmas we have to do it right." Noah said.
"Uh oh, I feel a Benson idea about to catapult us into further chaos." Rafael teased as Noah grinned.
"It makes no sense to keep moving Abuelita if the whole purpose is for her to rest. So I propose, for the purpose of Operation Barba and Benson Christmas, everyone stays as Casa Benson. Abuelita can stay in my room. I promise to clean it. Uncle Rafa and I can take the living room and Catie can sleep with you or with us. Whichever she would be more comfortable with."
"I don't know Mijo, that's a lot to dump on your mother." Lucia said gently not wanting to impose.
"It's a great idea. We would love to host you guys for Christmas and Noah makes a good point. This way while I'm at work you are all together getting the rest of the Christmas things done. Lucia you can supervise and make sure Rafa is doing it right in my absence. What do you say Rafa? You ready to give up your fancy hotel and rough it up at Casa Benson?"
"Oh please Papi. Please please please."
"Yeah Uncle Rafi, please please please." Noah said giving him an identical pout to Catalina's making Lucia and Olivia laugh.
"Are you sure Liv?" He asked Olivia realising she had been ambushed.
"Of course." She assured him placing a hand over his that sat on the table. A gesture that was not at all missed by Noah and Lucia who exchanged a knowing smiled.
As the boys cleaned up after dinner Olivia and Catalina helped Lucia pack for the week at the Benson's so that she wouldn't have to do it on her own or have Rafael do it for her.
"Thank you Olivia."
"You don't have to thank me. You always told me we were family and this is what families do. Spend Christmas together. To be honest, Noah and I have been alone for so long that it's nice to feel like a part of family. I mean my team is our family, but somehow with Catie and Noah it feels different. I've never had a sibling growing up and even after I found Simon, it wasn't your typical sibling situation. Seeing Noah and Catie together, the bond they have. I want to give them what I never had. So I should be thanking you and the Susan to your Sharon for your little orchestrated somewhat perplexing Parent Trap meet cute from the 1960's." Lucia grinned.
"Well if we waited for you two to make a move we'd still be waiting. Stubborn the both of you."
"I just didn't know how, after everything…" Olivia said looking away. Lucia placed her hand on Olivia's cheek so that she could look at her.
"The thing about love is that it has an incredibly capacity to forgive. Olivia you weren't the only one at fault. He knows he played a part in how you ended. Take it one day at a time. Know that you will have hard days, but fight. Fight for what you had. For the time that you'd lost. Fight for a future. You have the rest of your lives Mija. Don't waste any more time."
After saying goodnight to Lucia they walked to Macy's for their allocated time slot for Santa visit and photo. Noah and Catalina walked hand in hand in front of them as Liv slipped her arm through Rafael's.
"I'm sorry if Noah Shanghai'd you." Olivia apologised,
"I believe we were both Shanghai'd and don't be sorry. If I'm going to be honest I can't imagine a better Christmas plan even if it was hatched by the Evers twins. Thank you for offering your home to us to make more Mami comfortable."
"Rafa stop with the thank you's. I know there was a five year gap but you and I have never been less than equal partners. Friends first. Family always."
"Always Liv." He replied.
"Oh and with the exception of you, your Mom and I, no one else gets the reference to the Original Parent Trap. Noah has only ever seen the Lindsay Lohan version." Rafael gave her a dramatic gasp,
"Olivia Margaret Benson, that is a parent fail." He teased.
"Well I'd show him the original now but I'd hate for him to get anymore ideas." Olivia retorted as he laughed knowingly.
"Yes, little knowledge is dangerous enough with you Bensons." Earning him an elbow to the side.
Olivia couldn't help but get teary as Noah sat socially distanced from Santa Claus holding Catalina in his arms as she sat on his lap grinning widely. For two kids who did not share an ounce of blood their similarities were uncanny.
"Don't they just make your heart want to explode?" Rafael said as he subtly pressed a clean handkerchief in her hand. She looked at him and smiled.
"Yeah they do. God Rafa, I have done a few things in my life that I am honestly really proud of. But Noah, he's the thing I am most proud of. Who he is, the person that he is."
"He's remarkable Liv. I couldn't ask for a better big brother for Catalina. From the moment he met her, they have been thick as thieves."
"Rafa, he's remarkable because of you too. I'm glad you made him a part of Catalina's life. That you included him in that. I always knew you would make an incredible father. You may not have been officially his but he's never regarded you as anything less. You're the only father he's ever known. Now to see you with Catalina, how that little girl is like watching a mini you in girl form, with all of her spunk and crazy independence. You did that. You never had to worry about being your father."
"Thanks Liv."
"Mom and Dad, did you want to jump in?" The photographer asked. Rafael and Liv grinned at each other and wordlessly headed on up to join their children.