The Gods Must Be Lazy
The sad truth about families is that no matter how strong the feeling of connection and affection, no matter how close-knit its members may be, all it takes is the right blow to the foundation and the whole thing will crumble away. Bounds will sever as once inseparable companions become mortal enemies. Others will simply drift away with no one bothering to bring them back. And even those who can see what is going on are often powerless to prevent it. It happened all the time. More often than not, the face that you want to destroy was once the face that smiled at you from across the dinner table.
Wriggle knew all this. She had seen numerous small tribes, gangs and other ensembles of youkai fall apart to infighting and bickering. And she would be damned before she let it happen to hers.
And so she found herself flying through the Autumnal Forest in the dead of night, desperately looking for someone. As far as forests went, the Autumnal Forest lacked the tangled mystery of the Forest of Magic, the twisting menace of the Youkai Forest, or even the confusion of the Bamboo Forest of the Lost. In fact, thanks to clear paths and regular patrolling by professional youkai exterminators, it was the most Human-friendly forest to be found in Gensokyo. What few youkai or fairies that even bothered to enter were careful to avoid stepping out of line. However, given that the letter of the law only prohibited the hunting of Humans, it only paved the way for a different kind of predator entirely. It was to find this predator that Wriggle found herself soaring through this distinctly youkai-unfriendly area during the dead of night.
Wriggle knew that she had found what she was looking for when a melody drifted past, carried by the wind. It was soft and sweet, almost like a trickling creek through a meadow. And to Humans, it could be utterly hypnotic.
With a smile of satisfaction, Wriggle adjusted her course, following the song along one of the more-traveled paths. There, sitting at a point where the path split off into three different directions, was a two-wheeled cart with a sloping roof and two handles sticking out of one end, making it easier to be pulled. However, the wheels had been detached and four wooden stools had been set up along one end, converting the cart into a merchant's stand. There was the sound of a fire crackling and the smell of something cooking, something with a fishy scent.
Bingo.
Sitting in front of the stand were two Humans, carpenters by the look of them. There were two platters of food set before them with two cups of sake, from which they were eating and drinking freely. They appeared to be enjoying it too. For all her faults, Mystia knew how to cook.
Wriggle came to landing directly behind the two diners. Apparently her sudden appearance startled them, as they jumped up and whirled around as soon as her feet touched grass.
"Another youkai!" one of them gasped. He fumbled around his belt and brought forth a small hammer. "Get back, youkai! I'll not be your prey tonight!" To his companion, he muttered, "That is a youkai, right? Things are still a little fuzzy."
"Best assume that it is," his friend whispered back. "They're not all friendly like the bird-girl."
"Whoa, hey," Wriggle said, holding her empty hands up in front of her. "Calm down, buddy. I'm not here to fight. Just wanna have a few words with my friend over there."
"Who, me?" the second one asked in bewilderment.
There was a soft cough as someone cleared their voice. "Actually, she means me," Mystia said from her place inside the stand. She waved. "Hi Wriggle!"
Wriggle grinned nervously and waved back. "Hey Mysty." To the two humans, she added, "See? We're all friends here. So, um, I'll just leave you to your dinner and stay out of your way."
Ignoring the sullen looks they were giving her (or were they squinting because they still couldn't make her out? It was hard to tell when Mystia was running one of her scams), Wriggle skirted around them to the back of the makeshift stand.
As noted, Mystia was inside, wearing an apron over a simple brown dress with her hair tied up by a bandana. She was tending to several skewered lamprey eels that were cooking on a piping hot grill. Mystia was a good enough cook that she was no doubt capable of successfully running a legitimate business, but she had long ago decided to increase the traffic her food stand saw by toting her grilled lamprey meals as a cure for those pesky bouts of night-blindness that seemed to suddenly strike Humans that were traveling through forests in the dead of night. Rather annoying, really. And surprisingly common, all things considered. Fortunately for them, just a few bites of Mystia Lorelei's world-famous grilled lamprey and they'll be seeing like owls in no time.
Of course, she would leave out the part that said night-blindness was actually a side-effect her singing tended to have on Humans, thus them being "cured" was actually a result of her turning down the music while they ate. Still, all things considered, she did make a mean grilled lamprey.
Wriggle leaned over the back of the stand. "Hey Mystia, how's business? Good? Glad to hear it. Say, would'ja mind if I took a couple minutes of your time?"
Mystia shrugged as she sprinkled ground pepper over the cooking eels. "Gee, I don't know," she said without looking up. "I can't really leave-"
"Really? Great. Let's go over here…" Wriggle reached in and bodily pulled Mystia from the stand "…and have ourselves a nice private chat." She winked at the two staring Humans. 'Scuse us, gentlemen."
She hauled a struggling Mystia a good distance from the stand and its confused customers. When they were safely out of earshot, she swung the sparrow-girl around so they were facing one another.
"What's wrong with you?" Wriggle hissed. "Going out scamming at a time like this? Rumia's missing, maybe dead, Cirno's about to fall to pieces, and all you can think about is making money?"
Mystia shrugged. "Well, I'm sorry, but the first few days of spring are the best time to catch them. I do have a business to run, after all."
"What the…Are you really so…" Wriggle grabbed Mystia by the shoulder and started viciously shaking her back and forth. "Snap out of it, Mysty! What about your friends, huh? Are you just going to leave us to fall apart?"
Mystia jerked out of her grasp. "Of course not! It's just…"
"Yeah?" Wriggle folded her arms. "Just what?"
"Well, you heard what Cirno said this morning," Mystia said with another shrug. "About how Yukari said Rumia was really some kind of monster and was hiding it this whole time. I don't know about you, but friends don't keep those sorts of secrets."
Wriggle slapped a palm against her forehead. "Ohhhh…gods give me strength. That was Yukari talking! We don't like Yukari, remember? She's a liar and a creep! She was probably just trying to mess with Cirno's head. Don't tell me you believe what that weirdo says."
Mystia gnawed on the tip of one of her talons and shot a doubtful glance back at her stand. Her Human customers had stopped eating and were watching the arguing youkai with evident interest.
"I don't know…" Mystia muttered.
"C'mon, don't give me that. We've all been together for almost twelve years now. Don't tell me you're going to turn your back on all that now. We need to stick together, Mysty!"
Mystia didn't respond. She just stared at the ground, one of her hands holding the opposite wrist.
Wriggle sighed. "Fine. Okay, have it your way. We're holding a sorta mini-wake for Rumia back at the hideout. If you wanna come and show some respect for your friend, then you're more than welcome. But if you'd rather just dick around playing con-artist then…" She shrugged. "Well, I'm sure Rumia would understand, wherever she is. Could be in hell for all we know."
"That's not fair."
"It's not? Sorry, it's kinda hard to tell what's fair or not, when you're frikkin' best friends are turning their backs on you! Where do you get off acting so cold? Right when we need you, you go…Gahhh!"
Wriggle's shoulders slumped and she turned away. "Screw this. See you around, Mystia."
Hands shoved angrily in her pockets, she stomped away from the staring night-sparrow, back down to where the food stand sat and the path sitting next to it. Mystia's customers watched her as she walked past.
"Never thought I'd see two youkai fighting," the first one called out to her. "Lover's quarrel?"
Wriggle whirled to face him. "Mind your own frikkin' business!" she snarled.
He just snickered. "Whatever you say, buddy. Funny, never thought a youkai would…" Then his eye narrowed. He stood and walked toward her to get a closer look.
Wriggle leaned away from him. "What the hell's your problem?"
His eyes widened. "Cripes," he gasped. "You're a girl!"
There was a very satisfying sound of meat impacting on meat, and the human was suddenly sent sprawling backward. Blood spurted from his nose and his eyes were whirling in a daze. Wriggle shook her throbbing hand and winced.
"Stupid Humans," she muttered as her feet left the ground. "They deserve to get conned."
"Hey!" Human number two shouted. "What do you-"
He stopped in his tracks when he saw the ferocious look Wriggle shot in his direction. He demonstrated that he had greater common sense than his friend when he held up his palms and backed away.
Wriggle growled and shot into the air. Fine, whatever. Let Mystia forget all those years of friendship if she wanted to. They didn't need her anyway. As for herself, she was going to give Rumia the sendoff she deserved.
…
"…and she was absolutely covered with noodles!" Cirno stated. "I mean, like from head to toe, all noodles! And she was swinging back and forth, yelling about how she was going to kill us all." She took a swig from the bottle of sake she held and laughed. "Ah man, it was almost worth the beating she gave us later. Funniest thing I've ever seen. Definitely Rumia's best plan ever."
Daiyousei and Chen joined in on the laughter. Chen especially seemed to be having trouble staying upright, but whether that was due to hysterics or her low tolerance for alcohol or some mixture of the two was anyone's guess.
The three of them were sitting in the stone cavern that Cirno and her gang called home. A fire was crackling in the makeshift fireplace (which Mystia had declared to be one of her finest creations), the extensive stash of alcohol they had been stockpiling over the years was being dipped into freely, and tales of their absent friend's many escapades were being fondly remembered.
"Ah-hehehehe," Chen tittered, an odd squeaking sound that was becoming more and more high-pitched the more she drank. "Yesh, 'dat was aweswome! I wemember it like was…" Confusion washed over her face. "Waitaminute, no I don't! Dai, did 'dat weally happwen? 'Cause I dunno think I wemember 'dat."
"You weren't there for that one," Daiyousei told her. Unlike her fellows, she had only a small cup of wine. The last time she had over indulged in intoxicants had resulted in her passing out long before everyone else, and her friends had had writing utensils and a camera at the ready. It had been days before she would even speak to them.
"Dwah, I always miss 'dah good stuff." Chen tossed back the goblet she was holding and sighed happily. "Okay, I gotta one! Wemember 'dah time she twied tah convwince evewyone 'dat 'dere was a bunch of blue honey floodin' dah'-"
Daiyousei cleared her throat. "Actually, that was Wriggle."
"It twas? Dawww, I twought it was Wumia…"
Daiyousei took a small sip from her cup. "No, that was definitely Wriggle. And believe me, that one did not turn out well."
"What was Wriggle now?"
Everyone turned to see the firefly in question walking toward them. From the look of things, her quest to find Mystia hadn't turned out well. There was a blank look in her eyes that Daiyousei found disturbing.
"Wriggle!" Cirno shouted happily. She stuck her bottle into the air as a salute. "Hey, did'ja find Mysty?"
Wriggle silently nodded. She grabbed a tankard of beer and sat down with the rest of them. She popped the cap and took a long drink.
Everyone stared at her. "So…" Cirno began. "Where's the bird?
Wriggle came up for air. "She's not coming," she said, wiping foam from her chin.
"Huh? What'ya mean, 'she's not coming'?" Cirno demanded. "She's supposed to be coming, I told her she was supposed to be coming, why isn't she coming? Dai, why isn't she coming?"
"How should I know?"
"I dunno, thought maybe you did. Wriggle, what's going on?"
"Go ask her," the firefly said bitterly. She pulled up her knees under her chin and glared at the fire. "Stupid sparrow's out tending that eel stand of hers."
"Huh? She's doing that now?"
Chen swayed in her seat. She blinked and shook her head. "Sowwy, I kinda went blank for'a sec. What happwened now?"
Wriggle ignored her. "Don't wanna talk about it," she told Cirno.
"But…" Then Cirno caught the look on Wriggle's face and shrank back. "Okay."
…
Mystia slowly stuck a spatula under one eel after another, flipping them over and watching them sizzle on the grill. Fat sputtered and meat darkened as the burning coals roasted the unlucky creatures' flesh.
"Don't know what got into that crazy youkai bitch," one of her Human vict…erm, make that customers, muttered. He picked up a skewered eel and ripped out half its stomach with one bite. Mystia watched the dangling bits of flesh flop up and down between his teeth as he chewed.
"I know man, I know," the other agreed. He stabbed a boiled potato with his knife and chomped off a large bite. "I mean, what was she expecting, going 'round dressed like that. And with that haircut! Hey, are you sure that was a girl? 'Cause it sure looked like a guy to me." White flecks of potato stuck in his beard.
"Pretty sure, man. Pretty sure. Unless he pumped up his testicles and relocated 'em northward, that sure was no proud father's son punching me in the face." He plucked his eel off the skewer and closed his mouth around half of it. The eel's body stretched as he pulled, tearing the roasted creature in half. "I mwean, ewen wit' 'dat shir', I coul' tell," he said with his mouth full.
Mystia winced and looked away. She forced herself to focus on what she was doing. The lampreys would burn if she didn't pay attention.
Wait, waiiiit!
"I don't know, maybe youkai are just crazy like that," the other said. Then he flinched. "Uh, present company excluded, ma'am. No offense intended."
"Of course," Mystia said, not really paying attention. She was too wrapped up with her own thoughts.
My ears catch a sparrow's song. Are there really sparrows at night?
"Anyway, who can tell with them? Girls dressing like guys, guys dressing like girls. I remember seeing a whole bunch at the Midsummer Day Festival, all wearing dresses. Guys and girls alike!"
"Those were kimonos, you idiot."
I don't like sparrows. They're too bony.
Mystia's grip tightened on the handle of her spatula.
It ate her! It ate her, Reimu! And it tried to eat us too-
She said it was some kind of monster that eats people and takes their powers. She said that Rumia was probably dead and gone too…
Snap out of it, Mysty! What about your friends, huh? Are you just going to leave us to fall apart?
With a loud bang, Mystia slammed her spatula down, upsetting the grill and causing the roasting eels to jump. One of them slid right off and plopped on the floor.
The two Humans jumped too. "Hey, what is this?" the one with the potato bits in his beard demanded.
"We're closing," Mystia snarled. She pulled off her apron and hopped out the back.
"What? But we're not done yet!"
"Then take it to go! I'm gone." Mystia took a running start with her wings outstretched to either side. She hopped once, twice, and took to the air.
"What? But what if we go blind again? Are you just gonna leave your stand like this?" one of the Humans shouted after her. "I knew it, all you youkai are crazy!"
…
The four of them sat in silence, staring at the crackling flames. Daiyousei sighed and lay on her side. She curled up in a ball and watched the shadows dancing on the floor.
What's happening to us? she wondered. Things had never turned out like this before. Even during the occasions when their capers had blown up in their faces (which happened on a disturbingly regular basis), when there would be plenty of rueful drinking and bitter complaining, at least they had stuck together. Even when squabbles and fights had flared up, with fisticuffs exchanged and eternal vengeance sworn, those little conflicts had been quickly forgotten and they would be playing together like nothing had happened.
But now…Daiyousei could feel their little group falling apart at the seams. Rumia was gone, just plain gone. Even if she was still alive…somewhere, what could they do about it? No one took them seriously, and why should they? They were just those stupid kids that nobody really liked and just tolerated at best. If the most powerful beings in Gensokyo couldn't find a solution, what chance did they stand?
And now it looked like the others were drifting away too. Mystia was probably just the first. She probably thought she could do better on her own. Daiyousei turned her head, looking from one face to the next. Chen already had a family to go back to. She just hung out with the rest of them for the games. And when things got even worse, she would probably just go back to Ran and Yukari. Wriggle had always been tougher and smarter than the rest. Surely she would see that eventually. And then it would just be Daiyousei and Cirno, like it had been before. And how long would it be before Cirno got annoyed by having her tag along all the time?
Daiyousei closed her eyes. She remembered those years before she had met Cirno and eventually the rest. Day after day of getting picked on by larger fairies, night after night of trembling in holes or the tree-branches, listening to the more savage youkai prowl around. She supposed she was stronger now than she had been then, but that didn't mean she wanted to go back to that.
"So who's going next?" Cirno said suddenly, breaking the silence.
Everyone looked at her. "Huh?" Wriggle and Daiyousei said in unison. Chen just remained curled up on the floor making happy noises.
"Wriggle already told the story 'bout Rumia pasting Keine Kamishirasawa to her chair before she went to go find Mystia," Cirno stated, slurring her words slightly. "An' I brought up that whole thing wit' Reimu an' the noodles…"
Wriggle sniggered. "Oh yeah. Never gets old."
"…and Chen…" Cirno shrugged. "Well, she tried. What 'bout you, Dai? Got any good Rumia stories?"
Daiyousei sat up. "W-well…um…"
"C'mon, there has to be something you remember," Cirno encouraged.
Daiyousei didn't say anything.
"You don't have to go if you want to, Dai," Wriggle said.
"Uh…well, actually there is something…" Daiyousei began.
She was interrupted by the sound of wood scraping against stone. Everyone turned toward the cave's entrance.
Mystia stood there. Her hair hung in front of her face and she was staring downward.
Cirno jumped up. "Mysty!" she cried happily. "Hey, I thought you weren't coming. Wriggle said-"
"I'm here, aren't I?" Mystia said. There was something weird about her voice, something hollow and empty. Without another word she walked over to plop down next to Wriggle.
Wriggle stared at, one eyebrow eschew. "Um, hi?"
Mystia nodded at her and hesitated. "Sorry," she muttered.
Wriggle just smiled and squeezed her shoulder.
Cirno looked from one to the other, clearly befuddled. "Um, what-"
Wriggle grimaced made a sudden slashing motion in front of her throat.
"Okay…whatever." Cirno shook her head. "Weirdoes. Anyway! Dai, you were saying?"
Daiyousei breathed out a sigh of relief. Maybe she wasn't going to lose her friends after all. Encouraged by Mystia's sudden return, she sat up straighter and said, "I-it's not really anything cool, or funny, or awesome like you guys' stories," she said. "It's just something that…I've always kinda remembered."
Daiyousei took a deep breath and gathered her nerves. Storytelling was never her strong point, neither was having the spotlight. Still, it was for Rumia…
"It was…uh, a few years ago? Remember, back when Remilia Scarlet shot that red mist everywhere?"
The others nodded and Cirno winced. That had been the day that she and Daiyousei had first run across Marisa and Reimu. Considering how that encounter had turned out, it wasn't a day they fondly remembered.
"Yeah, that day. And…well, Cirno and me were playing over the lake, just chasing the birds around, you know? And then Reimu and Marisa showed up and…yeah…" Daiyousei cleared her throat. "Anyway, after I, uh, resurrected, I was feeling pretty lousy. I mean I've, uh, died before, had a few accidents, but never that badly. Anyway, everything was already hazy from the mist, and I was feeling just so worn out and upset. And then I saw Rumia sitting by the lake." She chuckled. "Well, um, actually, I didn't so much see her so much as that darkness bubble she's always flying around in, but I knew it was her. And I just wanted someone to talk to. Cirno hadn't come back yet, you see…"
"That's because they hit me twice as hard as you," Cirno muttered darkly. She took a swig. "Cirno, meet Master Spark. Why hello Master Spark, how do youBAM!" She smacked herself in the forehead.
"Um, yeah. Right. Anyway, I went to go talk to her, and found out that they had beaten her up the night before." Daiyousei sucked in a shaky breath. "I don't get it. I mean, what did we do to them? Do they just go around shooting everyone they meet for fun?"
"Um, Daiyousei?" Wriggle said. "I'm pretty sure Rumia shot first. So did you guys, based on what you've told me."
"Oh. Oh yeah. Um, anyway, I just got done telling her everything that had happened, and how I felt so weak at being taken down that easily, and…" Daiyousei blushed. She stared down at her feet and started pressing her fingertips together. "Um, to be honest, I started crying a little. And I expected her to laugh at me or something. But instead she just patted me on the back. And then she said 'It's okay Dai, no one expects us to be gods'."
Daiyousei shook her head as she rubbed her eye with her palm. "I…know it's cheesy and all, but that always kinda just stuck with me. It's like…every time I blink, there's someone new showing up who can dribble the moon or cause volcanic eruptions just by burping, and we just sorta get left behind. And…that's okay, you know? Because we are what we are, and no one's really looking at us to be these great heroes. We're just us, and I like just being us, so it kinda makes things better. So yeah…that's it, I guess."
Nobody said anything, they just sat. Occasionally Cirno or Wriggle would take a drink, or Chen would mutter something, but for the most part the only sound were the spits and sputters from the fire.
Then Wriggle said, "I think I like your story the best."
"Say what?" Cirno said. "But it was just them talking! There wasn't any cool fights, or funny tricks or-" The rest of her complaints were cut off when Wriggle shoved her hand into Cirno's mouth.
Mystia suddenly stood to her feet. "I'm going to clean up and go to bed."
"Huh?" Cirno pushed Wiggle's hand away from her mouth. "But you haven't even-"
Without another word, Mystia walked away from them and into the adjoining cavern.
Everyone turned to look at Wriggle. The firefly just shrugged. "Hey, don't look at me. I don't know why she's acting like this."
"I noticed that too," Daiyousei put in. "She was acting weird most yesterday."
"Yesterday," Cirno muttered. "I hate yesterday." She finished off her sake in one draft and tossed the bottle aside. It hit the stone wall and shattered.
"Yeah, yesterday sucked," Wriggle said. "I think we can all agree on that."
Again there was silence. Daiyousei leaned again a short, squat stalagmite and stared at the shadows dancing on the ceiling. Even though she had only about half a cup of wine, it was starting to make her sleepy. She blinked one long, heavy blink and yawned.
Then Wriggle stood up. "You know guys, I'm getting a little worried about Mystia. I'm just going to check if she's okay."
"You mean spy on her?" Cirno tittered with a hiccup. "Pervert!"
Wriggle tossed a stone at her, which Cirno barely managed to dodge. "Shut up, dumbass. I'll be right back."
Daiyousei nodded and closed her eyes.
…
The underground area that Cirno's gang called their home was really a small network of interconnecting caverns. The first and largest of these "rooms" as they were called was the primary of such caverns and was used for games, celebrations, meals, wrestling matches, and so on. The others were given the jobs of storage and private rooms for the individual members.
And then there was the one Mystia had entered. Long ago, a small meander of the river that flowed down the side of the mountain had cut its way through the living rock of the mountainside, going down and down until it finally poured down into the center of the cavern in a small waterfall, coming to rest in a freshwater pool, which drained through a small hole into caverns below. Cirno's gang had thereby declared this room to be the washroom and employed it as such. Well, to be accurate, only Cirno and Daiyousei used it on a semi-regular basis, mainly because the water itself was bitter cold and only an ice fairy wouldn't be bothered by it. Wriggle disliked extreme temperatures, Chen (when she was visiting) just hated water on principle, and while Mystia would occasionally go for a full shower, it was only on hot days. Wet feathers were notoriously hard to dry. Most of the time she just stuck to sponge-baths.
Mystia stood by the pool, staring down at her reflection. The bruises and cuts she had gained from their encounter with Marisa the day before were still there. She lifted one hand and gingerly poked a blossoming purple patch on her cheek and winced.
Shaking her head, Mystia reached behind herself and undid the straps of her dress, which slipped of her shoulders and fell to the floor. Then, clad in her undergarments, Mystia stepped out of the dress and knelt to fill her cupped hands with the icy water.
It ate her! It ate her, Reimu! And it tried to eat us too…
Mystia splashed her face with water, rubbing away the ash and smoke from her grill. She hoped her cart would still be there when she went back for it. She did leave it in somewhat of a hurry. Probably not the best idea overall, but it wasn't like she could have easily moved it back to its hiding place and still make it back in the same night.
It ate her…
Mystia reached over to a wicker basket that was sitting next to the pool. The basket held a number of self-cleaning items: soap, shampoos, perfumes, brushes and a couple of washcloths. She pulled out a washcloth and dipped it in the pool. She lifted it out and twisted it, wringing out most of the water. Then she picked up a misshapen bar of soap and rubbed it against the washcloth's rough fabric, creating a foamy lather.
…and it tried to eat us too…
Moving gingerly so as not to upset any tender areas, Mystia began rubbing the cloth up and down her arms and scrubbed out her armpits. It was amazing how much grime she seemed to attract on a daily basis. Sure, she had cleaned up a bit before opening her stand earlier that evening, but whatever dirt she had removed had been swiftly replaced.
It ate her…
Well, that was to be expected in the life of a youkai. Living outdoors (or in a cave, for that matter) did mean that personal hygiene often took a backseat. She didn't mind of course, but she still sometimes wondered what it would be like to live like the Humans, where daily bathing was considered a social norm.
…and it tried to eat us too…
Well, at least it was among the ones who made their homes in the villages. Marisa Kirisame was as bad as the youkai she lived among when it came to keeping things clean, probably even worse. And while Reimu Hakurei was at least a little tidier, she still tended to neglect those sorts of things if she could get away with it.
…ate her…
Mystia's taloned fingers squeezed the washcloth, filling her hand with suds. She lightly moved it back and forth over her neck.
…tried to eat us…
Of course, those two weren't exactly considered the standard examples for normal Human behavior. As Mystia understood it, they were rather unpopular among most Humans for numerous reasons. She supposed there was a measure of irony in that little tidbit of information.
…at her…
After all, they were always poking their noses where they didn't belong.
…tried to eat us…
Always saying how youkai couldn't do this, couldn't do that.
…ate her…
So it was only fitting…
…tried to…
…that the so-called "normal" Humans…
…eat us…
…would take them to task…
…tried to…
…take them to…
…eat us…
…take them…
…tried to…
…tried….
And Rumia was dissolving, wasting away before their horrified eyes. So afraid she couldn't even move, Mystia could only watch as her friend's skin seemed to disappear like smoke on the wind. Her meat was becoming visible, all bloody reds and flat grays and sickly greens and purples, with the white bone poking through. And Mystia couldn't do anything as…
…hungry teeth tore into her flesh, ripping off bite after bite, her shrill screams going unheeded by her attacker, her body going to feed a voracious appetite that would not be appeased…
With a shriek, Mystia threw the washcloth across the pool, where it slapped against a rock and slid down into the water. Angry tears pouring from her eyes as she slammed her fists against the coarse gravel again and again, venting her frustration in the only way she could think of. Even when her skin began to tear and bleed she didn't stop.
"Mysty! Great jumping Buddha H. Christ on a flat-wheeled unicycle, what are you doing?" Strong fingers seized Mystia by the wrists, keeping her from slamming them down again. "Stop it, you crazy sparrow! Stop it before you hurt yourself!"
Caught up in the brief madness of the moment, Mystia cried out and struggled to break free. She tried biting the other's hand and scratching at them with her talons. And when this failed to produce any results, she finally collapsed sobbing into the arms of a very surprised and very, very confused Wriggle.
…
Cirno sat stock-still, expressionless as a glacier. Off to her right, Chen and Daiyousei had curled up against each other in their sleep. Normally, Cirno would be tempted to put them in interesting poses and take their picture, but for now she just sat, watching the last few flickering tongues dance in the small fireplace. The crackling of the fire and Chen's contented snoring were the only sounds that could be heard.
Even though she wasn't moving, her mind was still working. Even in her intoxicated state, her mind was still working. She came up with all her best ideas while drunk. Soberness was a time for action, drunkenness was a time for planning. And saving Rumia from the blob thing was going to require a lot planning. The problem with Rumia wasn't a question of whether or not they could get her back. It was a question of how and when. There was no doubt in the young fairy's mind that they would be able to pull it off. She just needed to figure out a way.
Plan Reimu had failed, totally and spectacularly. Whether that blob thing was, it was tough. No, scratch that, it was very tough. It was ridiculously tough. She never thought it was possible for anyone to survive a concentrated assault from Reimu, Marisa, Mima, Suika and Yukari of all people. Well, okay, so maybe taking those five down herself someday was on her to-do list, but that was neither here and now. It was plain that a new plan was in order. Brute force wasn't working, she had to think of something subtle.
It took all of thirty seconds before she abandoned that line of thought and went back to brute strength. Stick to what you know, that's what they always say. Maybe the problem was that they just didn't bring enough. But who could they go to? Letty wasn't even going to appear for another three seasons, and Cirno doubted that she could do anything. She supposed she could contact Sunny's gang, but that still wouldn't be enough.
With a sigh, Cirno slouched down and stretched out her legs. She folded her arms and stared up at the stone ceiling of the cavern. That was the problem with being considered a troublemaker. The list of people that would be willing to help you was depressingly short. Most people would be unwilling to lift a finger to help her and her friends unless…
Wait.
Something was there, forming in her mind. Something…interesting. There were problems with it, all right. There were things they were going to need that they didn't have. But it was possible, it was doable, and it just might work.
A slow, cunning smile spread over Cirno's face. At last, she had an idea.
…
Mystia sat with her back against a rock, holding a towel around her shoulders and letting Wriggle bandage up her hands.
"It doesn't look that bad," Wriggle muttered. She finished tying the strip of linen around Mystia's left hand and gave it a quick tug, drawing it tight. "Just keep it clean and dry, should be fine by tomorrow."
Mystia nodded. She held up her bandaged hand, turning it over to look at both sides. With a sigh she let it fall.
"I'm sorry," she said.
Wriggle shrugged. She started putting the remaining bits of linen away. "You said that already."
"I know. But still…sorry."
"It's okay." Wriggle stood to her feet and brushed off her knees. "It's been a crazy time for all of us. I'd be worried if someone didn't wig out."
"It's more than that."
Wriggle paused. She looked down at the night-sparrow and raised a questioning eyebrow.
"It's…" Mystia cleared her throat and tried again. "It's just that…every time I start thinking, my mind keeps going back to Rumia being inside that thing and how it was…eating her, from the outside in."
Wriggle shuddered. "Well, in fairness, that was pretty awful."
"Yeah, but when it happened, you and Cirno didn't just turn tail just because you were terrified," Mystia said bitterly. "You left to go find help. Even Daiyousei only left because you told her too. Me? As soon as that thing started coming after us, I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I wasn't even thinking about trying to help Rumia; I just wanted to make sure it didn't get me."
"Mysty, that's not anything to be ashamed about. That's just simply self-preservation. It's smart, not cowardice. Like Daiyousei said, we're not gods you know."
Mystia nodded. "Yeah, maybe. But even after, I just keep thinking that…sooner or later it's going to come after the rest of us. That it knows where we live, that it's just waiting for the right moment to strike, that soon we'll all be…" Her body started shaking. She clutched at the towel as her eyes filled with tears. "I can't do it, Wriggle! I can't stay here and let it get me. I won't get eaten, not again!"
Wriggle sucked in a breath as realization struck her. "So that's what…" She shook her head and put her hands on her hips. "Damn, I shoulda figured.
"How could you?" Mystia muttered. "There's so many other things going wrong."
"Yeah, but still…"
"So I tried distracting myself. I tried focusing on normal things, things I was used to, things that couldn't hurt me." She sniffled and let out a small, hiccupping laugh. "But as it turns out, it's kind've hard not to think about getting eaten when you run a food stand. Score one for irony."
Wriggle sighed and sat down next to her. "Look Mystia, I can't say I fully understand what you went through, but it's not wrong to be scared. Hell, I'm scared. I'm frikkin' terrified! And if I'm that scared, I can't imagine what it must be like for you. But running away from us isn't going to help any. If anything, you need us now more than ever."
"Yeah, I know," Mystia muttered. "And don't worry, I'm not going to run away or freak out again. But I'm not going to lie and say I don't think we should put as many miles between us and that…thing as possible."
"Uh, well, you…may be right about that," Wriggle said slowly. "But still, what about Rumia?"
Mystia didn't answer. She just folded her arms over her knees and looked away.
However, Wriggle wasn't about to let her withdraw now. "Oh, come on. Don't give me that crap. What about Rumia? If the Eientei rabbits say she can be saved-"
"What can we do?" Mystia whispered.
"What?"
"What can we do?" Mystia said, more clearly this time. "We're…us. Just a bunch of kids who keep getting into trouble. It's like people keep saying tonight: we're not gods. And that thing…pretty much is. We're at the bottom of the food chain, while it is chomping its way up. What can we do?"
"You're right."
Both Mystia and Wriggle blinked and turned toward the cavern's entrance. Cirno was there, watching them. She seemed a little unsteady on her feet and she kept blinking and twitching her head, but she didn't seem like she had lost any lucidity. If anything, the ice-fairy looked downright determined and focused.
"You're absolutely right," she repeated. "We can't handle this on our own. This is too big for us. And to hear that coming from me…"
"Well, yeah," Wriggle admitted. "We know that. What's your point?"
"My point is that what we need to do is call in reinforcements. We need to get more people on our side. Stronger people. Enough to finally hunt that thing down and kill it. And if they can't it, they'll at least flush it out and slow it down so Yukari's group of jerks can kill it instead."
"Uh, Cirno?" Mystia raised her hand. "I don't know if you know this, but we're not exactly very popular. How are we going to convince people to risk their lives for us?"
Cirno grinned wickedly. "I'm glad you asked," she purred.
And then she told them.
They just stared right back.
"Are you serious?" Wriggle demanded.
"Absofreakingliciously."
"What? No! Cirno, just…no! No, no, no!"
Cirno folded her arms. "Yeah? Why not?"
"Because that's the sort of thing that'll blow up right in our faces!" Wriggle shouted. "All it'll take is for someone to get hurt and blame us. Besides, there's no way we can pull that off! Even if we could get people interested, we would need…a hell of a lot more money than we have! And unless you're planning on pimping us all out, there's no way we can get that money in time! And by the gods, don't take the pimping idea seriously, I was just using a 'for example'."
"We could do it!" Cirno protested.
Mystia cleared her throat. "Um, actually…"
"Seriously, come on fairy! We've got maybe fifteen thousand yen between all of us. That's barely enough to hire a third-rate bodyguard for a day, much less-"
"I have enough," Mystia said.
"See? Mystia agrees with me. Now, let's…" Wriggle's head snapped around to stare at the night-sparrow. "Wait, what?"
"I have enough," Mystia said. She pushed herself to her feet. "I've been saving money for years now, so I think I'll be able to cover the cost."
"Yeah?" Wriggle looked at her suspiciously. "And how much is that?"
"Um, I haven't really been keeping track but…about twenty-seven million yen. Probably."
Wriggle's eyes bulged. Strangled gurgling came from her throat, but no discernable words came out. As for Cirno, her legs buckled out from under her and she fell down flat on her rear.
"Twenty-seven million?" she squeaked. "You have twenty-seven million?"
Mystia shrugged. "Well, yeah. You never noticed how I'm always the one treating you guys when we go to festivals and markets? I have been doing that night-blindness trick for several decades now, and my stand's pretty popular among non-humans as well. And it isn't expensive to maintain. Plus I really don't need that much to live, so I just kept saving and saving."
Wriggle started shaking. She tried to wrap her head around the idea that one of their number having access to that amount of money. Granted, their lifestyle didn't require a great amount of funds, but still…
"Bu-bu-but why?" she cried. "If you were never planning on spending it, why scam humans in the first place? Why have the stand at all?"
"I dunno, maybe because I like cooking?" Mystia said crossly. "But yeah, when I first got started, I really wasn't getting much business, so I started the whole cure-for-nightblindness thing to break even. And as it turns out, you really don't lose money underestimating Human intelligence, so that took off like a rocket. And then some youkai started visiting regularly, and then a fairy gang, and they told their friends, and their friends told their friends, so before I knew it I making money talon-over-fist. I guess I could've stopped the nightblindess scam, but it was just too much fun. Plus, my real customers seemed amused by it, so I just kept at it. And seeing how that was over fifty years ago…" Mystia shrugged again. "At one point I considered putting it into getting a big house of my own, but I decided that I liked this place too much."
"But why didn't you ever tell us?" Cirno demanded. "Do you have any idea what we could have done with that kind of dough? Did you ever think about helping the rest of us?"
"Hey, aren't you paying attention?" Wriggle shouted back. "She is offering to help us. She just said she'll pay for your plan to work. Isn't that enough?"
"Sure, now she is, but she's being sitting on that much for so long…" Cirno shook her head and sighed. She unsteadily pulled herself to her feet. "Never mind, you're right. I'll yell at you later. But thanks." She tapped her lower lip and frowned. "But like you said, it's still pretty risky. There'll probably be a lot of people mad at us before too long. Plus, Yukari and Reimu will probably want to shut us down. We're gonna have to prepare for that."
Wriggle stared at the ice fairy in shock. She stood to her feet and leaned over to whisper in Mystia's ear. "Where did this cautious, strategizing Cirno come from? Did I wake up in some kind of bizarro universe or something?"
"It's probably because she's drunk," Mystia whispered back. "You how most people get more reckless the more they drink? With her, it's probably the exact opposite."
"What we need is someone really, really powerful," Cirno declared, stamping her fist against her palm. "Someone who's willing to stick up for us and doesn't mind making Yukari mad. And of course, someone really, really powerful. It'll help if they were strong too. Really, really strong."
"Really, all that?" Wriggle said sarcastically. "And where are we going to find someone like that?"
Cirno grinned. "Oh, I think we know someone." Then she smirked at Wriggle.
Wriggle blinked. "What, me? Have you gone completely loony? I'm barely as strong as the rest of you guys! I've never been able to beat Rumia, much less…" Then a moment of horrified realization struck her mind like a lightning bolt. The blood drained from her face and she started trembling.
"Oh, no. No way. Nuh-uh. Forget it, there's no way…How could you even suggest something like that?"
Mystia looked from one to the other, plainly confused. "What? Who?"
"Who do you think?" Wriggle snarled back.
"Uh, I don't…" Then she blinked. "Oh. Oh. Oh, wow."
"Exactly," Wriggle snapped. "Forget it, Cirno. There's no way we're bringing in that lunatic."
"Wriggle, we have to!" Cirno pleaded. "You weren't there, you didn't see that thing! You didn't see what it did to Eientei! We need all the help we can get!"
"Yeah, but you honestly expect me to…" Wriggle cut herself off. With a grimace she squeezed her eyes shut and balled up her fists.
"Fine," she practically choked out. "Have it your way. I'll go talk to her. But you owe me big time, fairy. And I swear to everyone and everything, if I wind up in a dog-collar again, I will shove it right up your sub-zero butt!"
"Hooray!" Cirno shouted. She leapt up and pumped her fist into the air. "Thank you! Girls, Operation Rescue Rumia is a go! Go Team Niiiiiii…" She tottered on her feet and fell flat on her face. Moments later she started snoring.
Wriggle and Mystia stared at her in disbelief. "That took," Wriggle began, "waaayyyyy too damned long."
"Tell me about it. She's usually out in fifteen minutes." Mystia shrugged. "Well, guess we better put her to bed."
Wriggle pulled sleeping Cirno up by the armpits while Mystia took the legs. Together, they carried her back to the small alcove she had claimed as her room.
"So, do you really have that much money?" Wriggle said as they walked.
Mystia winced. "Yes, I do. Sorry I didn't tell you earlier. Didn't want it to be a thing."
"A thing. Sure."
"And are you really going to go ask Yuuka Kazami for help?"
"Looks like," Wriggle said with a grimace. "Crazy night, huh?"
"You're telling me," Mystia muttered. "Though something tells me that it's only going to get crazier."
"Point," Wriggle admitted. They reached the alcove in question. Once Cirno was drooling happily into her pillow and they were back in the stone passageway, she added, "Still, if it gets us Rumia back…"
Mystia nodded and shuddered. She just hoped it wouldn't end up costing them too much. And by that she didn't mean money.
She wondered where Rumia was at that moment, assuming she was still alive, which wasn't something Mystia was fully convinced about. She just hoped that if Rumia was alive and somehow conscious inside that monster, she knew that her friends were coming for her. Hopefully she wasn't too scared.
…
Deep Within
Rumia lay flat on her back on nothing, arms outstretched to either side and resting on nothing as she stared up at nothing. Her legs were up in the air and were slowly rotating as if she were riding a bicycle.
"Well?" Rin pressed. "C'mon, guess!"
Rumia rolled her eyes but she let her legs fall flat and said, "Um, is it bigger than a breadbox?"
"Nope," Rin giggled.
"Okay…Well, is it smaller than a breadbox?"
"No again!"
Rumia rolled over to her stomach, chin resting on her folded arms as she shot an annoyed glance at the Kirin. "Rin, is it a freaking breadbox?"
"Wrong again!" Rin cried happily. "That's three guesses. You've got-" Then she blinked and frowned. "Hold up, a toaster's the same size as a breadbox, right? It's been awhile since I saw one."
"Huh? The hell is a toaster?"
Rin winced. "Ohhhhh, right. Sorry, I forgot…Well, you and technology…"
With another roll of her eyes, Rumia sat up. "Well, forgive me for living in a forest all my life!"
"Sorry, sorry," Rin apologized. "I'll think of something you can guess next time."
With a sigh, Rumia turned her attention to the screen. The scene displayed was the interior of an aquatic grotto. Rin had settled down at one end (instantly killing all nearby anemones and shellfish in the process) while the small silver fish that swam around in circles had instinctively restricted themselves to the other end.
Rumia had never been this far underwater before and had found the experience fascinating. But after the first couple of hours it had quickly lost its novelty.
"So, how much longer are you planning on staying here?" she asked.
"Uh…I dunno," Rin shrugged. "Why, you wanna leave? It seems like a good hiding place to me."
"Is that so."
"Right."
"So we're just here to hide from Yukari."
"Also right."
"Move the view to the left."
Rin hesitated, but did as Rumia requested. The view was now focused on the grotto's entrance, an oval hole about five feet from top to bottom. Directly outside was a gargantuan slitted eye that took up the entirely of the entrance and then some, watching and waiting.
Rumia stuck a thumb at the screen. "And it has absolutely nothing to do with the fifty-foot sea monster waiting outside?"
"Of course not!" Rin protested. "I mean, we are immortal now and really stupid powerful."
"Okay then."
"Seriously, I can kill that thing anytime I want!"
"Sure."
…
And…we're back to angsty drama! Sorry guys, I know you were enjoying the break. But hey, at least it ended on a lighthearted note.
Anyway, there's a few thing I want to note. Two of the scenes in this chapter, specifically Rumia's wake with Daiyousei's story and Mystia's breaking down and confessing her fear to Wriggle, were scenes I had in the back of my head…pretty much since Chapter One. I had planned to wait until the third or fourth arc to use them, but then I realized they worked better if used earlier, as they have actual plot significance (i.e. motivating Team Nineball to get up and take a more active role in the plot) when they would have just been little character moments had I waited. Seeing how long they've been sitting back there, it was kinda weird to actually write them.
Anyway, this chapter's also rather important because I believe it's a good representation of what I'm trying to do with this fic. I've noticed that there's many darkfics that just go too far, filling an originally innocent story with over-the-top violence, rape, drug problems and massive character derailment, or if they're done well, it tends to be a darker glimpse into a hidden problem a character has (the Kaguya and Mokou rivalry, or Flandre's madness) without much in the way of an overreaching plot. I'm trying to see if it's possible to write a darker view of Gensokyo by keeping the characters and setting more-or-less true the general view of how the country is and still retaining at least a little of the fun of the series. I dislike happy endings almost as much I dislike complete in-your-face downer endings. I'm more of an earn-your-happy-ending sort of person, in which some good is achieved but the characters have to go through hell to get it. So while things can and will get really dark, there's still a note of hope. Light shines best in a dark room, after all. And the brightest light casts the darkest shadow. Balance and contrast is good for any story.
Also, it gave me the chance to show Team Nineball as an actual family, instead of just a bunch of mischievous kids who get beat up a lot.
Anyway, enough philosophizing. Props to Blueberry for calling the whole Yuuka thing! Believe me when I say that her being mentioned in the chapter right after you brought her up was a coincidence. A weird coincidence though. It made me laugh.
Until next time, everyone!