A Wrench in the Works

Cirno yawned and stretched her arms over her head, enjoying the gentle pull of the muscle. She hadn't gotten much sleep the night before for a number of reasons, but despite the weariness that was starting to catch up to her, the sheer excitement of what they were about to do drove any thought of rest from her mind.

All around her various merchants, workers for hire, agents of the black market and other business-minded people bustled to and fro in the large clearing, setting up their little stands, booths and tents. The Youkai Market was exactly as its named described: an open marketplace catering specifically to the nonhuman residents of Gensokyo. Every day, youkai, fairies, spirits and even gods came to buy and sell, hire and fire. And given the loosely defined rules of conduct, nearly anything went in regards to acceptable merchandise. It was said that even Human flesh could be acquired if you knew where to look. On more than one occasion the Humans had petitioned to have the place shut down or at least more tightly regulated. Such attempts were often laughed about as the sellers put up their shops.

And it was a good thing too, as Cirno and her friends were there to buy something that would probably be frowned upon by the Humans. With a grin, she looked at Mystia's bag full of money. If things played out the way she wanted them to (and of course they would), then Rumia would be free and back with them in no time. She just hoped that they could get things rolling before Yukari started to interfere.

…

Yukari leaned forward and massaged her forehead. Her mood had not improved in the slightest since her confrontation with the Scarlet Sisters the night before, and the current status of the meeting was doing nothing to improve that.

"Now, I know it's not something you're used to, but please try to think," Tenshi was saying. "The creature as the moon doctor described only absorbs energy attacks, am I right? So it stands to reason that physical attacks may have a chance. After all, did not the oni's clumsy attempts have some measure of success, even if most of it were probably because of luck?"

Suika was on her feet in an instant. "Luck?" she seethed. "Luck? I kicked that thing's ass! And what do you mean, 'Clumsy'?"

Tenshi smiled sweetly. "Wasn't there something about you sitting on your own gourd? The one that keeps you drunk and stupid? If that's not clumsy, then I don't know what it."

Suika looked about ready to leap across the room and rip the Celestial to pieces, but Reimu reached up and grabbed her by the arm. "No, not here," she whispered. "Kill her later."

"Oh, I will. Believe me I will," Suika muttered, but she sat back down.

Yukari looked around the spacious room and suddenly felt a pang of empathy for her onetime rival, the youkai queen. Perhaps her totalitarian conquest had not been motivated by a desire to become an absolute tyrant. Maybe she just wanted the power to make people shut up for once.

Tenshi flicked her hair out of her face. "Anyway, what I propose is simple: center the operation around earth magic. I hardly think that Satsuki's going to be doing much fighting after a mountain falls on her."

"And by 'Earth magic', you mean your own!" Eiki shouted over to her. The way she said it made it an accusation, not a question. "You're just trying to use this situation to expand your own power and influence!"

Tenshi sniffed dismissively. "I'm sorry, do you have anything worthwhile to contribute? Anything at all? If not, then please shut your fat mouth."

"Tenshi, you go too far!" Byakuren shouted.

"After all, the Yamaxanadu is completely correct," Satori muttered.

Sensing the potential for violence rising, Yukari stood from her seat. "Watch yourself, Hinanai. You'll not win any supporters with that attitude."

The look Tenshi shot her was not exactly a glare and not exactly a smirk, but somehow a combination of the two. Yukari mentally added Tenshi to the list.

"Actually, as much as I hate to admit it, Tenshi does have a point," Kanako said.

Everyone turned to stare at her. "Damn," Marisa muttered. "Someone agreed with Tenshi. Hey Reimu, pinch me, okay?"

"Can I punch you instead?"

"Okay, okay, listen," Kanako said. "While she could have been a little more polite…" Kanako shot Tenshi an acidic look "…she may be right about using physical attacks instead of energy ones. From what I've heard, Satsuki can still be hurt, right?"

Suika nodded. "Yeah, she started stumbling after I hit her a bunch of times."

"Good. So, maybe Tenshi's idea may have some merit." Kanako spread her hands. "I know we don't like her, but I'm just saying the idea bears consideration."

"Thank you for your kind support," Tenshi spat at her. "As if I needed it to begin with."

Kanako's fingers tightened on her armrests. Somewhere deep below the tower, a faint rumbling could be heard. "Listen, you stuck up, self-possessed little monster, when someone's actually agreeing with you, you don't-"

"Enough."

Everyone turned to look at Yukari, who had risen to her feet.

"I think…we've accomplished as much as we can for the time being," Yukari said. "Let's break for lunch and meet back here again in about an hour. And I swear to most of you, if anyone tries to take advantage of the break and stabs anyone in the back, then they'll be living out the rest of their lives as an earthworm." She nodded once. "Dismissed."

…

"…and I really like the idea of a yearly festival, only problem is that they want me to put on some sort of dramatic reenactment of when Kanako beat Suwako and took over the shrine," Sanae was saying. "And I'm thinking 'No, bad idea'. Especially with Suwako still hanging around. Be in kinda poor taste…Reimu? Are you even listening?"

"Sure," Reimu said.

Sanae waved her hand in front of Reimu's face. This received no reaction. "Um, and after that we're planning on moving the festival to Hakurei Shrine for a week, and party until the place collapses." She waited for ten seconds and added, "And we won't clean up after ourselves and refuse to leave any donations whatsoever."

"That's fine."

Sanae rolled her eyes and clapped her hands directly in front of Reimu's nose. "Hey!"

Reimu jumped in her seat. "Oh! Uh, what?"

The two shrine maidens were sitting on a stone slab at the foot of the tower. Sanae had insisted on having lunch with Reimu to catch up. However, even if Reimu had been interested, her conversation with Reisen from the night before had given her a lot of food for thought, so that it was difficult to concentrate on anything her friendly rival was saying.

Sanae gave her a long look. "Reimu, have you been listening to anything I've said?"

"Oh, sure. Every word. There was…uh…" Reimu desperately tried to recall any details that might have slipped through. "Some guy always visiting your shrine and…leaving you flowers and stuff?"

"Okay, number one: those were chocolates. And number two: that was like fifteen subjects ago. Seriously, what's up with you?"

Reimu pushed her food around with a chopstick. "Sorry, just got a lot on my mind."

Sanae nodded. "Well, okay. I understand. I mean, you actually had to fight the thing-"

"And she got her ass kicked so thoroughly that she barely walk afterward, ze," Marisa finished for her. She walked up to the two shrine maidens and shoved herself between them. "Sup?"

Reimu glared at her. "Well, hello Marisa. How are you? Go right ahead and intrude, we don't mind and all."

"Really? Thanks." Marisa snatched a cherry tomato from the plate Reimu held in her lap and popped it in her mouth. "So, who's leaving who chocolates?"

The shrine maidens exchanged a look and sighed. "Never mind," Sanae said. "You came at the end of the conversation."

"It's not Reisen, is it?"

Reimu flinched, nearly upsetting the plate in the process. "What? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Come on, you know what I mean." Marisa grinned and shoved an elbow into Reimu's ribs. "Cute little bunny girl shows up late at night, wanting to, ahem, 'Talk' to you privately and looking all cute and alone, ze. And you were all quiet and secretive when you got back. C'mon Armpits, don't tell me nothing happened."

Sanae looked confused. "Wait, huh? Bunny? Who's Reisen again?"

With a grunt of annoyance Reimu pushed Marisa off of the stone slab. "Stop it, it's nothing like that." To Sanae she added, "Reisen is Eirin Yagokoro's assistant, remember? She spoke at the beginning of the meeting yesterday."

"Oh! Right. So…what about her?"

"Nothing about her," Reimu mumbled before Marisa could provide an answer of her own choosing. "She was just upset about the whole thing and wanted someone to talk to last night. And now Marisa here thinks that means we're dating."

"Ah…" Sanae picked up a riceball from her own plate and seemed to study it before biting it in half. "Are you?" she mumbled through a mouthful of rice.

"What? Of course not!"

"Naw," Marisa cut in. "They're just giving each other hickies out behind the-"

Reimu whacked the young witch upside of the head. "That's it, this conversation is over. Let it drop, Blondie."

"Sure, sure," Marisa grinned, her tone saying that she had no such intention. "Anyway, sexy scandals can wait. I wanted to ask you something: you got any idea of what happened to Bookbrain and Knifey McKnifepants?"

Sanae groaned. She put a hand to her forehead. "Reimu, how the hell do you stand talking to her? I sweat half the stuff she says isn't even language."

"She means Patchouli Knowledge and Sakuya Izayoi. You know, from the Scarlet Devil Mansion?"

"Uh, sort've."

"Well, them. What about them, anyway?" That last question was directed toward Marisa.

"Not much, except they were missing today, ze."

"They were?" Reimu frowned as she thought back. There hadn't been a roll-call when they had -all gathered that morning, and no one had said anything about anyone missing. Then again, both Sakuya and Patchouli had made a point to contribute nothing beyond what had been required of them the day before, so their absence would probably go unnoticed.

"Yeah, they never showed up." Marisa shrugged. "I dunno, maybe Fangs needed someone to go change her diaper."

Sanae stared at her. She seemed equal parts fascinated and irritated. "Do you attach stupid nicknames to everyone you know?"

"Only the ones who deserve it," Marisa said with a grin. "Still haven't thought of one for you that isn't a synonym for ' Reimu-Wannabe'."

Sanae looked at Reimu. "You know, I'm starting to see why you find her annoying."

"Aw, what are you talking about?" Marisa plopped down next to Reimu and grabbed her with a fiercely tight embrace. "Reimu loves me!"

Reimu held up three ofuda charms. There was a brief flash of light, and suddenly Marisa was sprawled in the dirt, clutching her face.

"Damn it!" she grimaced. "Right in the face! Thanks a lot, Reddie!"

"Come on, you were asking for it," Sanae said with a snicker. Reimu couldn't help but join in.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," Marisa mumbled as she pulled herself up. "You shrine girls are all the same. Bet you wouldn't be laughing if I had my spellcards or my hakkero."

"You don't have your spellcards?" Reimu asked.

Marisa's grimaced twisted ever further. "Those disappeared right along with my hakkero, ze. Damned Yukari probably still has them."

"Well," Sanae said. "You were being rude."

"I still got my normal spells and my fists, you know that?"

"Oh gee, you don't say? Oh, whatever shall I do?" Sanae opened her mouth wide and placed her open palms on her cheeks. "Please Ms. Scary Witch, don't hurt me."

Marisa was about to yell something back, but Reimu took that opportunity to step in. "Okay, okay, enough already. If we keep this up Yukari's probably going to come after us."

"What's she gonna do, ground us?" Marisa muttered. "And you're the one blasting people in the face."

"Okay, fine. I'm sorry I shot you in the face. You happy?"

"Hmmm, that depends."

"On what?"

Marisa puckered up. "On whether or not you give me a kiss."

There was another flash of light, and Marisa fell back on her butt, grabbing her mouth and cursing.

"So much for keeping things nonviolent," Sanae muttered. She shook her head. "By the way, what did that rabbit want with you anyway?"

Reimu sighed. "Do me a favor and wait until after the meeting. In fact, bring Kanako too. There's something I wanna talk to you both about."

…

Yukari was no goddess. She had no followers beyond her Shikigami and what few allies she had gathered for herself. She had no worshippers, nor did she want any. Annoying little pests, always clamoring for this favor or that. If she had the time to be bothered with helping young children pass school tests and smitten young Humans win hearts, then she would probably spend it doing…just about anything else. And it wasn't as if all that faith and devotion added to her personal reservoir of power anyway. That was the territory of the like of Kanako and all the other little deities wandering around Gensokyo.

Still, she did possess and handful of traits commonly associated with divinity. For one thing, she had formed the land of Gensokyo through sheer force of will, separating it from the Outside World and declaring it to be the sanctuary for the inHuman beings that people just seemed to not want anymore. And as such, though she preferred to back away and let its inhabitants handle their own affairs, she did occasionally step in to personally ensure that a threat would become…less threatening.

Unfortunately, this sometimes meant doing deeds that many would consider repulsive. While she hadn't done anything to match the destruction of the Ruined City since the original incident, there had been a number of times over the years where she had been forced to do something that she preferred not to talk about. It didn't happen much, but when one has lived as long as she had, it tends to add up.

And so, while everyone else was sating their hunger and complaining to each other about everyone else, she was meeting with two of the deadliest people she had ever known to discuss how to best kill two little girls who, by youkai standards, had not yet even reached puberty.

One of them, Eirin Yagokoro, was a literal creator of monsters. And in addition to having a starring role in making Rin Satsuki into what she was today, the physician possessed what had to be the most complete knowledge on how the living body worked and the best way to kill it. And given her other job as Eientei's protector, she had several lifetimes to put that knowledge into practical application. While her primary job was as a healer, there were very few who would dare to cross her.

The other, the spirit known only as Mima, had been until very recently one of Gensokyo's more notorious villains. Out of all the evil spirits to haunt the land, she was the only one to whom that title was capitalized. Her exploits in that capacity were legendary, and while she professed to be retired from playing the 'bad guy', there were still places where just her name alone could incite panic.

Having the two of them together, along with Yukari herself, reminded Yukari of those sinister dark councils that fiction writers from the Outside World seemed to be obsessed with. For a brief moment, she considered handing out hooded robes and filling the room with smoke, just to add to the effect.

Instead, she had to settle for cups of tea while sitting around a wood table. Perhaps not aesthetically pleasing, but any more was just plain frivolous.

"It really shouldn't be that hard," Mima said as she sipped from her cup. "After all, we literally have the very forces of creation and destruction at our disposal. If worst comes to worst, we can always just try them all until something works."

"Really now," Yukari said. "Because I seem to recall us trying something similar on the Shadow Youkai. And now that the situation has escalated by a significant amount, I don't see how trying that again is going to help."

Eirin leaned back in her chair, her tea completely ignored. "You two are getting way ahead of yourselves. Extracting the Princess from Rin should come first." Her eyes flickered over to Mima, and back again.

"Along with Fujiwara no Mokou as well," Yukari said. "The less nigh invulnerable that thing is, the better."

"If we must," Eirin said, though she clearly wasn't fond of the thought of saving Mokou, for whatever reason.

"Ah, that's no problem," Mima said dismissively. "Just torture the thing until she vomits them out. I mean, she still feels pain on some level, right?"

Eirin's eyes hardened. "How very…medieval of you."

Mima smiled but said nothing. She took another sip. Then she frowned.

"Okay, what?"

Eirin blinked. "I'm sorry?"

"You've been staring at me this whole time. Is there a pimple I'm unaware of? A spider in my hat?"

Eirin managed a weak laugh. "No, nothing like that. I just have a professional interest in casual violation of the rules of reality."

"What?" Then Mima looked down at the teacup she was holding. "Oh, that. Still, coming from someone who has literally cheated death just because she could, a ghost drinking tea shouldn't be that strange."

"Which is why I have a professional interest. Tell me: do you receive any actual nourishment from it, or is it just for the sensory pleasure alone? And where does the liquid go? Does your body actually absorb it or does it vanish or…"

Yukari pinched the bridge of her nose. "Okay, we're getting off topic again. Can we leave these annoying little detours for the main council and get back on track?"

"As you wish," Eirin said. "At any rate, we must-"

"Eirin, your wrist is flashing," Mima said.

Eirin blinked. "Come again?" She held up her left arm and sighed when she saw what Mima was talking about. A circlet of grey crystal encircled her wrist, and it was indeed blinking on and off.

Yukari raised an eyebrow. "Time for your meds?"

"No, it's Tewi," Eirin muttered. "Damn it, I told her not to contact me unless it was an emergency."

"And what's to say it isn't?" Mima asked.

"Because it's Tewi," Eirin responded, as if that were reason enough. But then she sighed. "Still, better safe than sorry. Excuse me ladies, I might have to take this."

She stood to her feet and pressed two fingers from her opposite hand against the bracelet. "What is it?" she said as she walked toward the door. "This had better be worth interrupting me, because if it isn't, then I will personally tear out those ridiculous head-ornaments you call ears and use them-"

The rest of her threat was cut off when she stepped out into the hallway and shut the door behind her.

Mima and Yukari were left staring at each other. "Ouch," Mima said. "Sucks to be the bunny. Should we listen in?"

Yukari shook her head. "No point. She's going to tell us anyway."

"She'll probably lie."

"Not to us. At least, not successfully."

"Point," Mima said with a smile. "Annoying though, isn't it? Seems you just can't get anyone to stay on task for more than three minutes."

"I'm…starting to develop a tolerance."

"Just now? Haven't you been doing this sort of thing for…How old are you again?"

Yukari leaded forward folded her hands over the table. "That's a bit of a personal question. But at any rate, while Eirin is gone, there's another matter I need to talk to you about."

"Oh?" Mima rested one arm around her waist and rubbed her chin with the other. "A private matter, eh?"

"Something like that, yes."

Mima's smile increased. "Ohhh, I'm blushing already. Please continue."

Yukari nodded. Truth be told, she was a bit uneasy about what she had to tell Mima. It wasn't the subject matter itself so much as the fact that she was going to have to lie to the ghost. While that in itself wasn't a problem, Mima was rather accomplished in the field of deceit and, as Yukari had just pointed out, she was exceptionally good at telling when someone else was trying to deceive her in turn. And if she managed to catch Yukari in a falsehood, then there would be more than just Satsuki and the Shadow Youkai to worry about.

However, Yukari was no slouch herself. And her skills at manipulation were well honed. The trick was to make sure that not a single word she said was technically untrue.

To that end, after a moment of appropriately dramatic hesitation she said, "I had an unexpected visitor last night. Remilia Scarlet."

"Did you? I thought I smelled the stench of vampire lurking around. I suppose she had a long list of complaints ready for you?"

Yukari sighed. "You have no idea. But beyond that, she wanted to help."

"Oh?" Mima arched a single eyebrow. "That's unusual for her."

"Not so much as you think. She's just as threatened as the rest of us by Satsuki's continued freedom. Perhaps even more so, given the unpleasant memories Satsuki must be harboring toward her servants."

"True enough. But I hardly believe that little Rin has any blood for her to drain."

"I never said she offered to do the deed herself. However, she does want to assist in the hunt, and has also offered use of her sister's power." When Mima blinked, Yukari said, "Yeah, I guess she's that upset by the whole thing. She wants Satsuki in the ground just about as much as we do."

"And she is aware that blowing the poor girl up isn't going to be as effective as it once was, correct?"

"Indeed. In fact, I brought that up myself. And I have to admit, she did make a fair point in return. She claimed that while Satsuki may be able to physically endure anything we can dish out, she would mentally be unable to cope. Like you said earlier, she can still feel pain on some level. And while she may be able to regenerate from any damage, a continuous assault like Flandre Scarlet is able to deal out would eventually cause her to crack and give in."

"Or go berserk completely," Mima muttered. "Still…I have to agree that she has a fair point."

"Yes. Unfortunately…There's a catch. She has a condition."

"Oh?" Mima lifted her teacup to her lips. "And what's that?"

"I need to arrest Marisa."

If there was anyone who could make the claim of having seen it all, it was Yukari. She was one of the oldest beings in existence and watched over a country that literally ran on the impossible. Still, she had never seen a ghost do a spit-take before. Not until that very moment, at least.

"You what?" Mima sputtered. The teacup fell from her hands and bounced across the table. "What did you just say?"

Yukari carefully wiped off the stinging droplets of hot tea from her face with her handkerchief. "That was her condition. She apparently has grown fed up with all the burglaries and wants me to do something about it." She shrugged. "Of course, her idea of 'doing something about it' involved a great deal more pain and screaming, but I managed to talk her down to simple incarceration."

Mima just stared at her. "You're serious."

"I am."

"I don't believe this."

"You should."

Mima's hands were laid flat on the table. If they possessed anything resembling normal biology, they would be pure white from the blood loss. As it was, they were still shaking uncontrollably, though not from shock but from barely controlled power now zipping through them. "If you think for one moment that I'm just going to stand aside and let you-"

"Oh, calm down already," Yukari said in a cross tone. "It's not permanent, and it's just to make Remilia happy. I'll have Marisa cool her heels until we wrap up this Satsuki business and let her go with a warning. She'll be out in a month, tops."

"Oh? I wonder Yukari, I really do. I haven't forgotten that look you gave her back at Eientei. I'm starting to think this is more about you punishing her for getting into your face than just winning over another ally."

Yukari laughed. "If that were the case, then Marisa would be missing a head! Seriously Mima, she was bound to get thrown in jail sooner or later anyway. At least with my way, she'll be out faster."

"You'll forgive me if I'm not won over by your certainty," Mima said in a low tone. "And might I remind you that doing so will probably alienate another of your allies, one you probably need even more."

Yukari's fingers drummed against the table. "You mean yourself."

"I do."

"Mima, be serious. You're not going to back out, not with Satsuki still loose. You might not be personally threatened by her, but Marisa is still a Human, and is still very much killable. In fact, if there does end up being a confrontation, Satsuki will probably target her personally. In a way, I'm keeping her out of harm's way."

"Oh? Then why don't you lock up Reimu while you're at it?"

Yukari sat up straighter in her chair. "What does she have to do with anything?"

"I saw that ostentatious barrier you stuck over the shrine," Mima hissed. "I heard you trying to convince her to stick around where you can keep an eye on her. If you're really so worried about keeping the squishy little Humans safe, then why don't you just stick them all in a cell?" Her eyes narrowed. "Or maybe it's not the Humans you want to protect at all. Maybe it's just little Reimu. Or to be specific, the Hakurei Shrine maiden. Maybe you just think Marisa's too dangerous to be hanging around her all the time. After all, you know full well what'll happen if Reimu's goes and gets herself killed without producing an heir…"

Yukari shot to her feet. "That has nothing to do with this!"

"Does it? You seem awfully defensive. Did I hit a sore spot? Strike a nerve? I wonder if you what you would do if the only way to bring Satsuki down would be mean Reimu's death. Would you still go through with it, Yukari? Hmmm?"

Yukari was spared from answering as the door swung open and Eirin rushed into the room as quickly as her still-poor health would let her. "Yukari, Mima, we've got trouble," the Lunarian said. "I just got word that…" She stopped and looked from one to the other. "Um, am I interrupting something?"

Yukari shot a look at Mima, who was still glowering at her. "Yes, but it can wait until later," Yukari sighed. "What is it?"

At that precise moment, the tiny figure of Princess Kotohime materialized in the center of the table. She did not look good. Her hair was disheveled, her face was bruised and covered with splotches and smudges as if she had just stopped crying and her normally neat uniform was in complete disarray.

Kotohime took a deep breath to steady herself, tugged on her uniform and said, "Miss Yakumo, I apologize for contacting you like this, but it appears…it appears…" Her composure broke completely and she began to wail, "It's terrible! Oh, I should have seen this coming, I'm so sorry. What are we going to do?"

"Who the hell is she?" Eirin asked.

Mima glanced up at her. "Some Human princess who thinks she's a police officer. Yukari's been using her as her personal spook."

Yukari ignored her. "What is it?" she hissed. "I'm kind of in the middle of something!"

"It's Cirno, ma'am!" Kotohime said. "She's resurfaced, and in the worst way possible."

Eirin stiffened. "That's what my information was about!"

"Really?" Mima said. "How…coincidental."

"Shut up," Yukari snapped. To Kotohime, she said, "Tell me what's going on."

"Um…well ma'am, I have good news, better news, bad news, worse news and…terrible news."

Yukari had the distinct feeling that none of the news was going to be good. "Fine. Fire away."

"Well, the good news is that we've located Cirno and the rest of her fellow troublemakers, as I said earlier. They're all at the Youkai Market, creating a…a bit of a racket."

Yukari closed her eyes. "Of course," she muttered. "Oh, why didn't I put her in a cage when I had a chance?"

"Um, and the better news is that we've found your other Shikigami as well?"

"What?" Yukari's eyes snapped open. "Chen's there with them? But Cirno said…" She groaned. "Oh, of course. I should have realized."

"Indeed, Tewi did mention as much. It seems she's fallen in with a bad crowd," Eirin confirmed. "Well, worse."

"Debatable," Mima muttered.

"Enough, spirit. Kotohime, what are they doing?"

"Well ma'am, that happens to be the first bad news. They've been there all day handing out these." Kotohime held up a brown piece of paper with writing all over it.

Yukari frowned and motioned with her fingers. The illusion focused on the paper, allowing them a clear view of what it held. At the paper's center was a crude child's drawing, little more than a stick-figure. But judging by the excess amount of black crayon used, the red eyes and the representation of a sword attached to one of the picture's spindly arms, it didn't take a genius to tell that it was supposed to represent Rin Satsuki's previous form. At the top of the paper was the word REEWHARD in large block letters. At the bottom was written ¥25000000, AND MAIBEE MOR IF U DU IT KWIKLY!

Yukari blanched. "She's posted a bounty? On the Shadow Youkai?"

"Yes!"

"Where the hell did she get twenty-five million yen?"

"I don't know, ma'am! Stole it, most likely."

"Tell me people aren't taking that little idiot seriously."

"Not at first, but, uh, recent events have generated interest."

"What events?"

"Well, that's the worse news. From what I've been able to gather, Cirno was interviewed by a newspaper reporter about half an hour ago."

There was a brief snort of laughter. Yukari turned to glare at Mima, who wasn't even bothering to hide the fact that she was the culprit.

"Which reporter?" Yukari said to Kotohime. Then a somber thought struck her. "No, wait. Let me guess. It's her, isn't it?"

Kotohime nodded solemnly. "I'm afraid so, ma'am. It's her."

…

Then

"I see, I see, I see!" Aya Shameimaru said as she scribbled in her notepad. "And that was when Yukari Yakumo threatened to do you bodily harm?"

Cirno nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! She said she'd beat me up, slap me around, eat me and kick me in the stomach if I didn't just leave Rumia to rot!"

"Okayokayokay, got it! And in that order, right?"

It was now midday at the Youkai Market, and the place had filled impressively. Everywhere different stands, carts, tents and a few buildings could be seen, selling everything from clothing to jewelry to food to weapons to spellcards of questionable legality. And everywhere you looked were people in all different shapes and sizes. Some of them looked more-or-less normal, while others could only be judged to be living and sentient beings by the fact that they were moving around and interacting with others. However, the one thing they all had in common was that there was not a single Human to be found.

The air was filled with general hubbub that such a gathering tends to generate. Above it all the various shopkeepers and merchants shouted the attributes of their merchandise and proclaimed its superiority over that of their competitors.

"Don't bother listening to that cow-humping swindler, get the freshest fruits in all of Gensokyo right here at…"

"You there, sir! You look like a man in need of a weapon! Come take a look at…"

"Sweet potatoes! Roasted sweet potatoes! Blessed by my own hand!"

"Oi, who's be wantin' their teeth pulled 'round here? Don't care if they're white or black, sharp or dull, pearly shiny or butt-ugly, I'll take 'em!"

"Old lamps for new! Old lamps for new!"

Cirno and her friends had taken control of a wooden platform with a flagpole stuck through it near the center of the market. Cirno had been standing on the platform and had been loudly announcing their bounty since early that morning, while Mystia, Daiyousei and Chen were in the crowd, trying to distribute the fliers Cirno and Chen had made earlier that week. Wriggle (who Cirno was still shooting glares at) was holding Mystia's bag of money, acting both as a presenter and a guard.

Admittedly, business had not been as good as Cirno had hoped. While the amount of money had definitely attracted a fair amount of attention, it was more from thieves than potential mercenaries. Most people, once they learned that people such as Reimu Hakurei, Yukari Yakumo and Marisa Kirisame might become aggressive competition, backed away quickly and refused to have anything to do with the bounty. Others simply laughed at them and walked away. Cirno, upon remarking upon the strangeness of this to Mystia earlier, had just gotten a roll of the eyes in response. Cirno wasn't exactly sure what the night-sparrow meant by that.

And to top it off, Yuuka Kazami had yet to appear. Cirno was pretty sure they could motivate more people to take them seriously if they had her backing them. Though if she were to be truthful, the madwoman's absence was something of a relief.

Cirno had started to become discouraged by their lack of success, but her spirits had picked up when a dark-haired girl with a red circus tent-shaped cap and a camera showed up, wondering if Cirno might be willing to say a few words for the press.

Of course, the answer had been an emphatic yes.

"So do you think that Yukari Yakumo might be caving into the stress?" Aya asked. "As if in, making poor decisions and lashing out at innocent people as a result of having to deal with a problem beyond her ability to solve?"

Cirno thought about that for a moment. "Nah, I think she's just a jerk who thinks she's better than everyone."

"And is it your opinion, as a free citizen of Gensokyo in good standing with your neighbors, that Yukari Yakumo is therefore undeserving of the authority and power that she holds?"

There was nothing about that sentence that Cirno didn't like. "Oh, heck yeah!"

"Hmmm, yes, okay, yes. And would you care to comment on the rumors flying about concerning a possible ménage a trois between her and her servants, which by its very nature would have pedophiliac elements?"

Cirno stared blankly at the Tengu. "Huh? What's a…Who's Manager Troy now? And what's he got to do with…Pita Philly Flaks?"

"No comment then! Okay!" Aya held up the bounty flier that Cirno had enthusiastically provided her with. She squinted at the illustration of the people-eater. "And this is a faithful reproduction of the monster in question, yes?"

"Saw it with my own two eyes!" Cirno said. "Touched it too! Felt like scraping your hand raw over pointy ice. And ice isn't even supposed to hurt me, so you can see…"

"I can indeed! Huh, okay. Yeah, I know an artist or two who can probably spice this up for you. And how long is this bounty for?"

"Forever!" Cirno declared. "Or, until it works. Because, you know, it wouldn't make any sense to keep it going after someone claims it. Would kinda defeat the whole purpose. So yeah."

"Gotcha. Okay then." A twisted smile spread over Aya's face as she regarded the flier. "Ayayaya, this is gonna be good! We'll have to go into a triple-print for this! Maybe quadruple! Try to match that Hatate, you third-rate copycat!"

Cirno scratched her head. "Um, was that a question…?"

"Naw, you're good. Now smile!" Aya quickly snapped a few pictures of Cirno, an irritated looking Wriggle, Mystia, Chen, Daiyousei (who were focusing on trying to get people to take their fliers and were thus unaware that they were being photographed) and the surrounding crowd.

"Okay, I think we're done here! Now, take these…" Aya shoved a handful of small papers into Cirno's hands. "And give them to all your friends!"

"What are these?"

"A 15% off subscription for the Bunbunmaru! My way of saying thank you for being such an awesome interviewee!"

Cirno actually felt touched. "Wow, thanks!"

"No problem! And look for your face in the papers!" With that, Aya leapt into the sky, circled the Marketground once, and then zipped off in the general direction of the Youkai Mountain.

…

Now

Yukari slumped back in her chair and rubbed her forehead with one hand. "Oh, isn't that just swell? This incident isn't even a week old, and already things have reached that level. So much for keeping a cap on things and avoiding mass panic."

"Or greed," Eirin said.

"Or greed," Yukari agreed.

"You know, it's not like we were doing that great a job of keeping things quiet anyway," Mima murmured. She steepled her fingers over the table. "As I understand it, rumors have already spread as far as the Ancient City."

"Rumors are one thing. Nobody really cares about them around here anyway. But bounties and front-page stories? Those are something quite different." Yukari shook her head. "And for the love everyone good and orderly, Kotohime, why didn't you put a stop to it like you were supposed to?"

"I tried, ma'am, I really did! As soon as I found out, I went in with three other officers, ready to shut them down!"

"And?"

Kotohime lifted a hand to her damaged face. "And I'm afraid that's the terrible news."

…

Then

"Yeah, I don't think talking to her was the best idea," Wriggle muttered to Cirno, who was still staring at her shiny new coupons.

"Huh? Why? We're gonna be on the front page!"

"It's Aya, dipstick! She ain't really working with a full deck. And her paper's reputation's not so great."

"Hey, at least she talked to us, which is more than I can say for most people." Then Cirno turned to glare at the firefly. "And at least she doesn't try to stick dog collars up her friends' butts!"

"Oh, up yours Cirno," Wriggle snapped. "You sent me to talk to Yuuka Kazami! You wanna know how that day went?"

"Yeah, not really. Sounds boring." Cirno looked around. "Speaking of which, where the hellsicles is she? She said she'd meet us today!"

"No, she said she'd see us today," Wriggle corrected. "She's here, believe me."

"What?" Cirno looked around at the churning mass of bodies. Not a single Yuuka could be seen among them. "Where?"

"Where you can't see her. Trust me, she's here. I can tell."

"Fine. Whatever." Cirno hopped off the platform. "Just so long as she shows up if a fight breaks out. Hey, I gotta go ask Chen something. You gonna be cool manning the shop by yourself?"

"Oh, yeah. Sure. Because you've been contributing so much beyond standing around and driving people off with your yelling…"

Cirno pushed her way through the crown until she reached the catgirl, who was doing her best to explain the situation to a pair of very confused looking Kappa.

"…and it's going around trying to eat everyone and stealing their skins except I it doesn't really look like skin I don't know I didn't get to see it but Cirno's really reliable about these sort of…"

Cirno snapped her fingers. "Yo! Chen!"

"Huh?" Chen turned around. "Oh, hey! I was just telling these guys…" she waved her hand in the Kappa's direction. Or rather, where they had been. As soon as Chen's back was turned, they had taken the opportunity to slip back into the crowd and put enough distance between them and her as possible. "…about the scary blobby thing you were-"

"Yeah, okay. Cool. Good job and all. Hey, you ever meet someone named Manager Troy? 'Cause Aya seems to think that he's-"

"You!"

Cirno turned around and found herself facing a grizzled-looking youkai male who was wearing a black-and-white striped shirt and a bowler hat.

"Uh, yeah?" she asked, looking him up and down. "Do I know you?"

With a growl, he shoved his face right into hers. "Know me? You damned froze me solid four days ago, girl!"

"I did?"

"What'dya mean, 'I did'? You was flying through the Forest of Magic looking all lost and confused, and so I goes down and offers my help! And you then you done froze me right to my web like a damned icicle! I didn't thaw out until yesterday morning!"

Cirno thought hard. She shook her head. "Yeah, I got nothing."

The youkai snarled. "Oh, couldn't agree more. And when I gets done with your pretty little ass, you're gonna have even-"

There was a low but audible whining noise. Then a leaf-green flash filled the area. Cirno winced back and shielded her eyes. When she opened them again, the angry youkai was gone.

All around her everyone, shoppers and sellers alike, went very, very quiet.

Cirno was suddenly aware of someone tall standing over her and blotting out the sun. She looked up and saw Yuuka looming overhead, wearing her perpetual smile and holding her trademark umbrella.

Yuuka leaned down so that she and Cirno were almost nose-to-nose. "Hi."

"…hi…" Cirno squeaked.

Yuuka straightened up and looked around. The crowd was slowly backing away from her and Cirno and her gang. "Goodness gracious, that took quite awhile, didn't it? I thought I would get to step in at least three hours ago."

"Uh…"

"Oh, and so sorry for not meeting you this morning. I figured things might be easier for you if people didn't see me. Silly rumors and unfortunate reputation and all that." Yuuka sighed. "And from the looks of things, I was right. Oh dear."

"It's her, it's the Nightmare of Endless Flowers!" someone yelled.

"Oh my gods, did those kids bring her here?"

"I say, would this be an appropriate time for mob mentality?"

"P-pruning shears! Pruning shears and weed k-k-killer! G-guaranteed to save you from-"

Yuuka's eyes blazed with sudden fury. She folded up her umbrella and pointed the tip at the opportunistic salesman. There was another flash, and the anti-foliage stand (along with its owner) ceased to exist.

"I swear, some people just have no consideration whatsoever," Yuuka sniffed as she adjusted her vest and brushed off her sleeves. Then she sighed again. "Well now, better go see about making this reputation work for us."

She made her way toward Cirno's raised platform. Those who were anywhere near the platform in question cleared out immediately, and Daiyousei and Mystia got out her way in a hurry, the latter taking the opportunity to slink into the relative cover of the crowd itself.

Yuuka pulled herself onto the platform and surveyed those gathered. Her smile returned. "Attention, everyone! Good afternoon to you and all that rubbish. Now, I just wanted you all to know that little Cirno over there…" she pointed out the ice fairy in question "…and all of her adorable little friends are under the personal protection of Yuuka Kazami! If anyone else seeks to do them harm, then they and I will have words." Her smile started to look a bit strained. "Oh, and if I see another one of you abominable plant-killers around here, then I will be having a talk with them as well. Got it?"

A few home and gardening stands decided to close early for the day.

"Furthermore, let it be known that the bounty they are posting is operating under the full knowledge, validation and sponsorship of myself, and I would just hate to have their endeavors be all for naught. So if you people don't feel the offered reward is enough to get you off the bench and into the game, then what say I sweeten the pot a bit? If someone manages to find and bring in the subject of the bounty within the space of a month, then I will add an additional fifteen million yen to the reward, right out of my own pocket! With another five-hundred thousand for every day before the month's end! And to top it off, should anyone, and I mean anyone, try to interfere with your work, I will take steps to ensure that you remain unmolested." Her teeth flashed in the sun. "Does that sound reasonable?"

While it could not be said that the crowd was any less fearful of her presence, they were starting to pay attention. After all, while Yuuka was considered to be a terror made from the same stuff as nightmares, she was a legitimate terror made from the same stuff as nightmares. If she gave something her full backing and protection, than it had to be official on some level.

Also, Cirno had already been offering a substantial amount of money, even by the Humans' standards. And to the youkai and fairies, who very rarely had anything resembling a steady income, it was all the more impressive. And with Yuuka's contribution, more than a few were starting to weigh their self preservation against their desire to vastly increase their material wealth.

Before too long, the majority decision became, "Screw it, we're immortal."

"Good, good, glad to hear it!" Yuuka said cheerfully. Then her face twisted in furious scowl and she slammed the tip of her umbrella against the planks of the stage, the sound of which made everyone jump. "Now start grabbing those fucking grabbing fliers!"

That was more than enough motivation to get the crowd moving. The other shops and stalls were forgotten in the mad rush to snatch up as many fliers and possible. Mystia, Chen and Daiyousei literally found themselves swamped with eager customers. Finally they just threw their bags into the air and ran off, letting the mob sort it out themselves.

And then an interruption occurred.

"All right, everyone stop!" shouted a commanding voice, by use of an amplification spell. The chaos quieted down immediately as everyone turned to stare in the direction of the voice's source.

Full credit had to be given to Kotohime. Youkai and their brethren were nearly impossible to control individually. Gathered together into a massive mob and they became more akin to a force of nature, in some cases literally. And yet she had managed to grab everyone's attention with a single command. She floated above the crowd. She was wearing the plain black uniform that was the standard of her personal squad. Accompanying her were three others; two dark-haired Human brothers and a silver-haired fairy girl, all dressed in the same uniform. They stood (well, hovered) at attention behind their captain and waited for her word.

"By orders of Yukari Yakumo, this gathering must disperse immediately!" she declared. "The persons known as Cirno, Daiyousei, Wriggle Nightbug and Mystia Lorelei have engaged in illegal activities and are now under arrest! Any action made to assist them will be seen as an obstruction of justice and will be treated as such."

Silence greeted her pronouncement.

Kotohime looked confused. As she was a Human enforcer intruding into a distinctly Human-unfriendly territory, she had probably been expecting more protests and violent opposition. "Rest assured that this incident does not in any way infringe upon the Youkai Market's freedom and independence, and once the suspects have been incarcerated, normal market activity will be allowed to resume!"

More silence. A few sidelong looks were exchanged, but no movement beyond that.

"Um…And I also see that Chen Yakumo is also in the company of the suspects!" Kotohime declared. "As a Shikigami in Yukari's service, her disappearance has, uh, caused her master serious worry, and finding her has been one of our top priorities! So, we'll be taking her too. Because it's time for her to go home."

Again, no answer.

"So…Is that all right with all of you?"

Finally, there was a response, in the form of every gathered youkai, fairy, spirit, god and all other creatures turning around and facing the stage on which Yuuka stood, umbrella opened overhead. The madwoman had been watching Kotohime's speech with an almost gleeful amusement.

Kotohime frowned. "What, who is…" Then she finally caught sight of Yuuka and her face went snow-white. Her fellow officers gasped as they recognized her as well. "Mother of God…" she whispered.

"Which one?" Yuuka asked cheerfully. She glanced around. "Oh my, you're really starting to upset people, aren't you? I'm sorry, but I think it's time for you to leave."

Kotohime straightened. "I, uh, I can't do that. You, you see, I've, uh, been sent. Been sent by Yukari Yaku-"

"Yes, I know that, dear," Yuuka said. "And we should talk about that later. But in the meantime, I really need you to stop bothering these people." She snapped her fingers.

"But-"

What occurred next happened so suddenly that even those who saw it coming were taken by surprise. As Kotohime was talking, four green vines silently slithered out of the ground and grew up behind her. They continued to grow as she argued with Yuuka, sprouting buds that blossomed into sunflower dials. These dials then hovered directly over the officers and, on Yuuka's signal, slammed down with such force that all four of them were knocked unconscious instantly. Twisting vines then encircled their ankles and dragged them off through the market and away from the crowd.

The marketgoers watched as Kotohime and her posse disappeared into the forest on the market's edge.

"Now, wasn't that fun?" Yuuka said. "Nice and tidy." She grinned. "As you were."

…

Now

Yukari's head was reeling. "Yuuka Kazami's entered the game?" she said. "Yuuka Kazami?"

"Wow, are you having a rotten week," Mima said. "Which curse god did you piss off?"

"That's not all, ma'am," Kotohime said, her head bowed. "She has a message for you."

"Who says what now?"

…

Then

Yuuka leaned forward and prodded the unconscious for of Kotohime with her umbrella. The silly Human's head lolled to one side and she muttered something about needing to finish her paperwork, but she didn't stir.

Back behind them, the market was still in full swing. Sweet little Wriggle and her friends were still occupied in recruiting more pawns for the game. Yuuka was fairly certain they were close to running out of fliers. It didn't matter. The word was out.

Which meant it was time for her to send out a word of her own. She was standing in the forest bordering the market. Kotohime and her assemblage were stripped down and strapped to four trees, vines spreading their arms and legs wide. All of them except Kotohime had their mouths gagged by a mass of leaves and flowers. Yuuka felt right at home.

She wondered if there was time to play around before her new friends came around. After all, she really only needed Kotohime to be in working condition. It took but one to deliver a message.

Then Kotohime shook her head and groaned. Yuuka sighed. Ah well. Work before pleasure. It was just fortunate that her work was so enjoyable.

"Come on," she said, lightly slapping the girl's cheeks. "Wake up. We need to talk."

Kotohime opened her eyes and stared dazedly at her surroundings. To her credit, she grasped the situation immediately. Her eyes snapped all the way open and she opened her mouth to shout something, but Yuuka placed a finger over her lips.

"Shhhh, shhhh, shhhh," she shushed. "Quiet now. No talking unless I say so. Okay?"

Sweat prickling at her brow, Kotohime nodded.

"Good girl. Keep it up, and we'll get along famously!" Yuuka ruffled Kotohime's hair and shook her head back and forth.

"Now then, as you've seen, things are starting to stir in Gensokyo. Big things. Fun things. And I want them to keep stirring. Those adorable little kids back there are bound and determined to keep the fun going, and I intend to help them do it. However, it seems that the self-proclaimed Queen Bitch of Gensokyo can't handle a little excitement. Disappointing of her, really. She used to be so much more playful. But if she wants to be a wet blanket and ruin everything, then we're going to have a problem, now aren't we?"

Her hands clasped behind her back, Yuuka leaned in so that her and Kotohime's foreheads were almost touching. "And since she insists on slinking in the shadows and hiding behind her pawns, I need you to deliver a message for me. Can you do that for me, dear?"

Kotohime gulped, but she didn't say anything.

Yuuka frowned. "What, aphid got your tongue? I asked you a question!"

"Oh, um, I-"

The tip of Yuuka's umbrella drove into Kotohime's bare stomach, driving the wind from her. She slumped over, coughing.

"No, no, no, naughty girl," Yuuka admonished. "I said no talking unless I gave permission! What part about that was so…" Then she blinked. She straightened up and slapped a hand against her forehead. "Oh, how silly of me! How can you answer questions if I don't let you speak? I'm sorry, dear. These little details tend to escape me. You may answer direct questions."

"O-okay," Kotohime wheezed. Then she gasped as the umbrella hit her again.

"That wasn't a direct question," Yuuka muttered. She sighed. "Well then, on to business. Once we're done here, I'll let be letting you and your friends go. Once that happens, you are to leave those children alone. They are under my protection and I'll not have them molested." She giggled. "Well, except for by my hands. But you are not to touch them. Are we clear?"

"Yes m-ma'am."

"Good. And as soon as you are able, you are to go to go to Yukari, and you are going to tell her…That I expect her to carry as she's done. To keep trying to bring down the Shadow Youkai and her strange new friend. She is of course not to go anywhere near the children, but beyond that I would love for her to give it her best effort. It's no fun otherwise."

Kotohime nodded numbly.

"Good. And finally…Look at me please. No, not at your friends, at me." Yuuka gripped Kotohime by the jawline and forced her to line up her eyes with Yuuka's. "Good. Now pay attention, because this part's important. Yukari is likely to become upset about my meddling. She'll probably rant, rave, throw a childish temper tantrum, blame whoever's near, all those good things. And when she does, tell her this."

A low, hissing laugh slithered out between Yuuka's grinning teeth. "'Come and get me, Yukari. I'm waiting'."

Yuuka released Kotohime's head and took a few steps back. "And I really hope you'll do as I ask. Because if you don't, I'm going to be very disappointed with you. And do you know what happens to people who disappoint me?"

Without taking her eyes off of Kotohime, Yuuka pointed her umbrella at the silver-haired fairy, who was just starting to stir.

Kotohime stiffened. "No, wait!"

There was a flash of green light, and the vines holding the fairy in place fell down the tree's side, empty.

Kotohime slumped. She closed her eyes as tears started to prickle.

"Now, now, don't cry," Yuuka murmured. She lightly caressed Kotohime's cheek. "She's a fairy, after all. Give her a few minutes and she'll be right as rain. But I hope you realize that you are not a fairy. Neither are those fine strapping boys behind me. And you will not come back from where I can send you. Now, do you understand everything I've told you?"

Humiliated, defeated, and her spirit utterly crushed, Kotohime barely managed to give a single nod in reply.

…

Now

"I…see." Yukari closed her eyes. "And that's it, then?"

Kotohime nodded once. "That's it, ma'am. She disappeared soon afterward. Literally. We were released right after that. Our uniforms were found in a nearby bush, and Officer Nyoron revived soon after."

"And how long ago was that?"

"Ah, about...ten minutes ago."

Yukari's forearms began to shake. "And didn't it occur to you to report all this to me immediately? What exactly where you doing in the meantime? Twisting flowers into necklaces?"

Kotohime didn't answer that one. Mima rolled her eyes and floated to the other end of the room. Eirin glanced back and forth and noisily cleared her throat.

With a grimace, Yukari mentally kicked herself. Of course the girl wouldn't have reported in. Despite her chosen profession, she had seen relatively little action in her short time, and Gensokyo did not train its cops the same way the Outside World did. Plus, she was only Human, a Human who had been assaulted, tortured and violated by one of the most sadistic creatures Yukari had the misfortune of knowing. Plus, there was the whole thing of being forced to watch as her friend was destroyed to make a point, even if the death was temporary. As it was, it was a miracle that Kotohime was reporting in at all and not curling up and sobbing under a table somewhere.

"I…apologize, Captain," Yukari said. "That last comment was out of line. You did all you could, I understand that. No one would expect more."

Kotohime hesitated, and nodded her thanks.

"But the situation has progressed beyond your ability to handle. No bad reflection on your capabilities, but when Yuuka's involved…" Yukari shook her head. "Anyway, get your people together and return to your headquarters. I'll be opening a gap there. When you're ready, I want you to join me at the tower, understood?"

"Understood," Kotohime said.

"Good. Yukari out."

As Kotohime vanished, Yukari stood to her feet and started to slowly pace around the room.

"Well," Mima said. "I know they say that karma's a bitch, but I never-"

Holding up a single finger, Yukari said, "No, no talking. No taunting. Later. Let me think."

"But what does she want?" Eirin asked. "Yuuka I mean. There is no profit in this for her. She has no connection to Rin or the Shadow Youkai, at least none we've heard of. And I don't think she has any outstanding grudges against you."

"She doesn't need one," Mima answered. "Yuuka's not the type to have logical motivations. Nothing she does will have any sound reasoning behind it. She simply enjoys the chaos. Her challenge to Yukari is just her way of saying 'Come out and play'."

"Hell of a time for a playdate," Eirin muttered. "So…what now?"

"I said let me think," Yukari snapped. She frowned. "Okay…So, Cirno's out of reach for the time being. Problematic, but not devastating. Way I see it, damage done. Yuuka's the main threat."

"Brilliant deduction," Mima said. "You should open a detective agency."

"What did I just say about the taunting? Zip it." Yukari closed her eyes. "Okay, so she wants to play? Fine, I can play. Only this will be by my rules. I've had enough insane lunatics tearing up the scenery. Now, the only question is how to make her do that." Yukari rubbed her chin and frowned. "Hmmm."

"Um, I hate to intrude upon your pondering," Eirin said. "But why is this even a question? Aren't you the Master of Borders? The one who shaped Gensokyo through sheer force of personality? Can't you just…walk up to her and take away the border between life and death, like you did with me but in reverse? Or…create a gap over her head leading to the Earth's core and give her a magma shower?"

Yukari shook her head. "Doesn't work that way, not with her. Yuuka's not a home-grown youkai. And I've spoken to Mugestu and Gengestu, and they said she's not from Mugenkan either, not originally. No one knows where she originated from, but it's not Gensokyo."

"So? I've seen you dominate Outsiders before. Why is that a problem?"

"Because those Outsiders weren't anywhere near my level of power. Yuuka…is. She's more like a force of nature than anything. Dousing her with lava would probably just piss her off. And since she didn't spring from the Gensokyo's magical energies, she's much more resistant to me messing around with her structure."

"You mean like the Shadow Youkai?"

"Exactly. If she and I were to meet on a level playing field, then…"

"She's not sure if she'll win," Mima said.

Yukari arched an eyebrow. "No, I'd win all right. It wouldn't be easy, but I'd win. Only problem is that with Yuuka, the playing field is never level."

Eirin looked a little pale, even more so than she had been as of late. "In the name of the Eclipse, Yukari. Why did you ever let someone like her in Gensokyo in the first place?"

"You ever hear the proverb of the five-hundred pound gorilla?"

"No."

"Look it up. Though you're probably right. Our immigration policy could use some reviewing. First things first though…"

With that, Yukari closed her eyes and concentrated. She reached through energies swimming through the tower, feeling the little, minutes flashes of life until she found the one she was looking for.

Ran, she thought. Ran, are you there?

Of course, came the prompt reply. I'm just having lunch with Byakuren and Kanako. Is something wrong?

Something just came up, something you'll want to hear about. Come to my quarters immediately.

Is it Chen? Ran thought back. Even without her being physically there, the fox's anticipation was unmistakable.

Yes, she's been found. But the situation's become…complicated. You need to hear this.

On my way, Ran responded. Yukari felt the glowing warmth of Ran's lifeforce begin to move. She killed the connection and opened her eyes.

"All right then," she said. "Obviously this is going to have to be dealt with. But in the meantime, I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell the rest of the Ringleaders, at least not yet. Right now, we need more division and debate the same way we need nails pounded through our eyes." Then she scowled. "Wait, Satori's here. Damn it."

"She's not one to blab," Eirin said. Then, when everyone turned to stare at her, she amended, "Well, at least not when it's very important. I'm sure she can be convinced to keep a lid on things."

"Maybe. I hope so. But in the meantime, it looks like lunch is over. Would you two please gather the others together? I need to speak to Ran real quick and then I'll join you."

"Of course," Eirin said. "Best of luck." With that, she stood to her feet and left the room.

Mima lingered behind a while longer. "I really have to say, Yukari. I am impressed. When your luck runs out, it does so spectacularly."

Yukari briefly wondered how the ghost would look without a head. "Mima, as much as I'd love to banter with you, I'd really appreciate it if you'd just do as I asked."

"Oh, I will, don't worry. But ah…Yukari?"

"What?"

"Don't think that this bombshell means I've forgotten the Marisa situation," Mima said in a flat tone. "We will finish that conversation later."

With that, she faded from view.

Yukari was left alone in her room. She stared at the round, wood table where Kotohime's image had stood. She considered picking up the table and hurling it through the wall. Wasteful, but it would make her feel better. Sometimes you just had to throw something.

Instead, she opted for slipping back into her chair and staring at the ceiling. No, giving into frustration would do her no good. Emotional reactions were anti-productive. The only way she could salvage the situation would be to keep her cool and think rationally. After all, the day was far from over. It wouldn't do to have the other Ringleaders see her collapse.

Yukari's hand slipped almost idly into her pocket. She froze when she realized that it was empty. She jumped back to her feet and immediately began searching the rest of her garments, clawing through all her pockets, pouches and shaking out her dress. This was followed by a thorough search of her room. While she pulled out a variety of interesting objects, the ones she was searching for failed to turn up.

Marisa's hakkero and spellcards were missing.

Ran showed up a few minutes later, disheveled and out of breath. "Yukari!" she panted. "Sorry, I lost my way. What have you-"

Then she looked around. Her eyes widened. "Wait, where did your table go? And, oh my gods, what happened to your wall?"

…

Here's a fun game to play: let's see how many times I can make it seem like a scene is going to be about one plotline, only to have something interrupt and change it to something totally different. I don't know if this is a simple stylistic pattern or bad planning on my part, but things are getting a little messy. Damn it, time to try to tie these things together.

Anyway, thanks for being patient! Comic-Con was an absolute blast (I got to talk to Joss Whedon!), though I was just as pooped as predicted. Two three-hour drives per day and only four hours of sleep per night will do that to you. Totally worth it though.

Anyway, some of you have seen it already, but for those of you that haven't, the first chapter of the Kaguya and Mokou story is up. Like I say in the author's notes over there, it won't be updated as much as Imperfect Metamorphosis, but I will try to keep things flowing. Also, since the two stories will be connected, you should definitely go check it out. Plus, I just like hearing from you guys.

Also…but damn last chapter got a strong response! General consensus seems to be that Yuuka is scary/crazy awesome and most people want Yukari (with a couple exceptions) to be ran over by a steamroller or something (though this chapter may or may not change either of those views. We'll see). As for me, I couldn't be happier with the responses! I mean, don't get me wrong, I like Yukari and all, but it's good that people are responding to her actions, even if that response is the desire to throttle her.

As for whether or not those actions will have consequences…Well, with Yuuka and Rin's Dark Voice gunning for her, Mima and Marisa holding grudges, Reimu starting to sneak around behind her back and the fact that she really isn't on her best game at the moment (just look at how quickly Mima turned the tables on her), I don't think her life is about to get any easier. Let's see if she can deal.

Also, in regards to Unown's question about why Reimu didn't want to talk about that Monopoly game (even though she probably won)…I don't think I know a Monopoly game that didn't result in some kind of blood feud. That game destroys families, man!

Anyway, next chapter we'll be catching up with Rin and Rumia as they try to unravel the mystery of Rumia's past and buried memories. All I can say about that is I hope you guys like Inception/Nightmare on Elm Street/Serial Experiments Lain/Ergo Proxy, because things are gonna get…

Trippy.

Until next time, everyone!