Deep Within, Part 2
To date, Rin Satsuki's life had not been an easy one. The first major two events of her life were being kidnapped by slavers and the presumed murder of her parents. And things had just gone downhill from there. She had been deceived, abused, robbed of literally everything she held dear, forced into complete isolation for what felt like forever, attacked without provocation, betrayed, violated by something that claimed to be part of her own mind, and was now hunted by the very people she once trusted with no allies beside a single girl who she was more-or-less holding hostage who may or may not be some kind of monster. Things quite simply never went right for her, and to be quite frank she was growing tired of it.
However, while digging through Rumia's mind on the small hope of finding something that would help them survive, she had discovered a surprising opportunity, which shall be outlined below:
1. The entity that Rin hated and feared the most had been found.
2. Said entity was hiding in Rumia's repressed memories, something Rin had been trying to pull apart anyway.
3. Said memories were contained within Rin's essence, a place where, one minor loss of control notwithstanding, she reigned supreme.
4. Rin was dealing with the frustration born from several decades of hell and desperately needed some way of burning it off.
All of these points flashed through the Kirin's mind in an instant and came together to form a single bright and shining conclusion. Rin's physical body, still wedged under a shelf of rock, began to grin. It was nice that things were finally starting to work in her favor.
Now Rin, the Dark Voice was saying. I know you're upset, but let's not do anything we might regret later, okay?
Rin decided to forego a worded response in favor of a more aggressive one. She gathered up her energies and slammed them against the slowly recovering tangle of memories. She felt it tremble under her assault.
Okay, I deserved that. But for real, you can't-
Watch me, Rin hissed. She then began to hammer the Dark Voice's hiding place from all sides.
There was a ripple of emotion that felt very much like a sigh. Rin, be reasonable. Do you really think-
Reasonable? she screamed. You tried to kill the only person who ever cared about me and you want me to be reasonable?
Oh, come on Rin. Like you've never done things you've regretted in the heat of the moment. Why don't you go talk to that little witch girl and see how she feels about crossing your path!
Shut up!
Wow, fantastic rebuttal there. I'm sorry, was that a sore spot?
Don't give me that "Heat of the moment" bullshit, you tried to murder her!
You mean you did. I am part of you, after all. Why don't you just go and tear yourself apart if you're so mad? You're practically doing it anyway.
Instead of replying, Rin merely pressed her assault. She drew in more energy from her immortal captives and added it to her attack. The Dark Voice's defenses began to disintegrate.
Very well, ignore logic and reason if you wish. But if you keep this up, I will start to defend myself. Do you really want to risk the damage to Rumia's mind by battling me?
That last part finally gave Rin pause. Even without the potential collateral damage of crushing the Dark Voice once and for all, digging through Rumia's mind was risky enough as it is. Engaging in open warfare was probably not advisable.
Unfortunately, she wasn't given time to debate the topic. At that moment a presence, one that felt cold and strong and very wrong, surged out from behind the tangle's walls and slashed at the core of Rin's consciousness, cutting deep and causing her physical body to convulse with pain.
…
Rumia's legs had grown weak and given out from under her. From her spot on the dirt floor in the center of the illuminated ring, she stared up at Yukari Yakumo with wide, frightened eyes.
For her part, Yukari didn't seem to be overly concerned with Rumia's distress. Instead, she was enjoying being at the center of attention. "And why shouldn't we cheer for her?" she shouted into her megaphone. "After all, isn't she the reason we're here? She is the thread that ties us together, that brings us together under one roof. For despite our many differences, we are all united by one single thing: we all have Rumia to thank for our deaths!"
What? Rumia tried to wrap her mind around that concept, but it was already so disorganized that all she could come up with was a wall of absolute confusion. And the fact that the crowd started to cheer for this as well only made it more bizarre.
"Some of us have already departed this veil of tears," Yukari said. "And for others it's only a matter of time. 'Course, the future's a tricky thing to predict, but the way things are heading I don't think it's that much of a stretch to pre-order our special 'Killed by Rumia Yagami' tombstones! In fact, we should probably form a union while we're at it."
The crowd laughed.
"But I forget myself; this show isn't about us, it never was! It's all about her." Yukari turned to smile down at Rumia. "This little girl who wants to know who she is. Well, tonight she's going to find out! Will she understand what she discovers? Probably not. Will she like it? All signs point to 'no'. Will she retain any memory of it afterward? Better hope not. I don't think her poor little mind can take that much revelation. But whatever happens, you can bet that it'll be one hell of a show!"
Yukari tossed the megaphone to one side and reached down to snatch up Rumia by the arm. She brought her lips close to Rumia's ear and whispered, "Okay kid, you're on. Make us proud."
"W-what?"
In response, Yukari spread her other arm out in a grand gesture. The lights shining down upon the ring spread outward. Rumia gasped when she realized that they were no longer in a tent. Nor were they still in the circus. Instead, the ring had become the top of a massive column, alone in the middle of a large, open space. Rumia wasn't sure if the transition had happened that very second or back when the lights had gone out, nor did she care. The only thing that her mind was focused on was sheer and utter terror.
Thunder rumbled from nearby. An icy wind picked up, buffeting her and Yukari and tearing and their clothes. Yukari's hat was torn from her head and went sailing off into the black. She didn't seem to even notice. Instead, she gestured toward the edge. There, jutting out from the column's side was a single plank of wood, painted bright yellow and decorated with red stars.
"You wanted to figure out who you were? Well, you won't do it by playing circus."
Rumia gaped as she realized what Yukari was saying. "Y-you want me to jump off?"
"Hey, it's your dream, kiddo. You don't like it, complain to yourself." With that, she heaved Rumia through the air.
Rumia screamed as she flailed her arms in a futile attempt to regain control. The wind seemed to surge up at that exact moment, propelling her onward. She landed on the plank and tumbled forward, nearly falling off in the process. She wrapped her arms and legs around the plank's side and held on for dear life.
"Come on, you won't get anywhere with that attitude!" Yukari shouted at her.
"Forget it!" Rumia shouted back. "I'm through with this! Rin, wake me up!"
Yukari laughed. "Yeah, you can forget about that. She's got her own problems to worry about. Go on, get up and dive. The show must go on, after all."
Rumia peeked over the plank's end and felt sick. She had to be miles up. "You're crazy!" she shouted over her shoulder.
Yukari sighed and knelt down to retrieve her megaphone, which was strangely unaffected by the wind. "Looks like she's going to need some encouraging, folks!" she shouted at the sky. "Come on, let her hear your voices! Rumia, Rumia, Rumia…"
Despite the fact that there was no more tent, despite the fact that the audience had to have disappeared along with it, the chant started up regardless, a thousand voices taking up Yukari's words and escalating them.
"Rumia! Rumia! Rumia!"
The noise thundered from all sides, so loud it was almost as powerful as the wind. Rumia squeezed her eyes shut and prayed for reality to come and rescue her.
"Rumia! Rumia! Rumia!"
"You're letting the fans down, kid." Yukari was suddenly on the plank behind her. "Come on, can't you hear them cheering for you?"
Yukari's strong fingers seized onto Rumia's collar and tore her from the plank. She was then dropped on her feet at the very edge, staring down into endless darkness.
"I thought you liked darkness, kid. Think of it as diving into your bed. From about a thousand feet straight up."
Almost frozen with fear, Rumia managed to shake her head.
"I don't believe I made myself clear," Yukari said as she took a couple steps back. "I'm not taking 'no' for an answer here."
There was a sudden crack, and the leather tong of Yukari whip snapped against Rumia's lower leg and wrapped around her ankle. Before she knew what was going on, Yukari pulled and flipped Rumia right off her feet. She desperately tried to grab onto the plank but she had flown out of reach.
Down she fell, screaming all the way. And all the while, the voices continued their endless chant.
"Rumia! Rumia! Rumia! Rumia! Rumia! Rumia! Rumia! Rumia! Rumia! Rumia!
Rumia! Rumia! Rumia! Rumia! Rumia! Rumia! Rumia!
Rumia! Rumia! Rumia! Rumia!
Rumia! Rumia!"
…
Rin's mind reeled from the psychic attack. She tried to recover, but the Dark Voice hit her again, driving a dagger of ice through her mind. The walls of Rin's mind reverberated with her silent scream.
You never were good at fighting, the Dark Voice hissed. She could feel it prowling about, slinking around the core of her consciousness. Even here in your own mind you can't even muster up a decent defense. Do you want to know why that it?
Out of pure desperation, Rin threw everything she had at the monster. To her dismay, it slipped past her attack with ease and disappeared.
Though she could no longer feel its presence, that low, seductive murmur continued to taunt her. It's because you continually denied your own strength. You were afraid of it, afraid of what you could do. So you sealed it off. Pushed it away. Guided by the delusional belief that refusing to acknowledge your own power would win you friends. But what happened instead, Rin? Can you tell me that?
Rin turned her attention back to Rumia's repressed memories. It had to have retreated back there.
You turned into a spineless weakling. Others would trample on you and you would just lie down for them.
I didn't! Rumia protested. Remember? When I nearly destroyed Eientei?
Don't delude yourself. That was all me. You just put your head down and meekly followed orders.
I mean before! The first time!
A hissing laugh that was completely devoid of warmth echoed through her mind. Yes, you did. You were so horrified at what you had done that you pushed those feeling of anger and outrage back down and sealed them off. You turned yourself back into the good little girl who only wanted to be loved!
No I didn't! Rin snarled. She gathered her power and prepared to strike down the thing's stronghold.
Oh really? Then what do you think created me?
That last point actually gave Rin pause. Wait, you're saying that because I repressed my emotions just as Rumia repressed her memories, they eventually developed a personality of their own?
Exactly. I'm you, girl. Just not a complete and utter wuss.
Rin considered that for a moment. She thought of the years and years spent in isolation, during which she had entertained any number of imaginary voices, none of which sounded even remotely like the Dark Voice. She thought of all the things it had tried to get her to do and the twisted glee it took in seeing others suffer. Rin knew that she had more than a few issues of her own, but there were certain lines that she was sure she would never cross. And finally, she thought of her last memory of the Dark Voice, as it held control of her body and stood ready to stab Reisen's brains out.
All those taken together, Rin found herself reaching a rather liberating conclusion.
Uh, yeah. Okay. Hey, you know what?
What?
Fuck you.
…
Rumia hit solid ground, hard.
The impact drove the wind from her and she found herself bouncing and tumbling forward before coming to a stop. There she lay gasping as the world spun around her.
She tried to push herself up but her elbows gave out. It didn't feel like anything was broken, but the shock from the collision had driven all the strength from her muscles. To that, it was all she could do to just curl up into a protective ball.
In time her breathing evened out and her head started to clear. But she didn't get up. Her whole body starting trembling. Her eyes teared up and she began to cry.
She couldn't help it. That last bit had been too much. She didn't want to do this anymore. Even though it made her weak for feeling so, she wanted it to end. She rolled over to her side and curled up into a ball as the sobs continued to rack her body.
Look at you, the self-loathing part of her said in disgust. You were all ready to face a dream about being tortured. And now a weird stage-show and a fall makes you fall apart?
She didn't care though. She was sick of it. Sick of being trapped in someone else's mind, sick of this freakshow, sick of Rin, sick of questioning her own sanity, sick of being hunted, sick of everything. She wanted to wake up. She wanted to go home.
In time her body stopped shaking and her eyes started to dry. Sniffling, she slowly pulled herself up. "At least the real Cirno's not here to see me," she muttered. "She'd never let me hear the end of it."
Then she opened eyes. Might as well see where her dream had led her now.
She was standing in the foyer of a large building. Directly in front of her was a staircase leading to the second story and hallways stretching to either side. Everything was blackened as if it had been scorched by fire.
She was back inside that strange building, only now she was standing where she should have ended up before her dream had been hijacked by that circus-thing. So they have to go through a creepy-ass festival and get thrown off a gigantic pillar just to walk in through the front door, she thought. Wow, they really should've fired the architect.
Giggling at her dumb joke, Rumia turned around. As expected, there was the front door and all the windows. However, the door was locked securely and the windows, once wide open, were now covered by shutters. She tried tugging on the door handle and pulling at the shutters, but they refused to give.
With a sigh, she leaned up against the door and slid back down to the floor. There was no getting out of this, was there?
That was when she heard something. She frowned and listened.
For a moment, she thought she had started crying again. But the weeping was not her own. It was coming from somewhere else, somewhere from deeper within the building.
Rumia rolled her eyes. Oh, come on, she thought in disdain. Can't you be any less-
She paused. Now that she thought about it, the crying voice did sound familiar. She strained her ears and listened for a moment longer.
"Mysty?" she whispered. She wasn't sure, but it certainly sounded like Mystia. She had seen the night-sparrow cry a few times in the past, and it had sounded very similar.
Rumia debated the dilemma before her, turning it around in her mind. Everything she had learned from the scary stories that she and the rest of the gang had told each other around the fire said that wandering around creepy abandoned buildings and following strange noises was stupidity in the extreme. More often than not, it was a trick by the killer to lure the little girls away from safety. Rumia herself had employed that same tactic in the past and could attest to its effectiveness.
She glanced to the hallways at either side. But then, what choice did she really have? If she refused to go forward, something would just show up to force her onward. Whatever this dream wanted her to learn, it seemed dead set on making her play its game to learn it.
With that, she rose to her feet. Though she hated it, it would probably be best to get it over with. She listened for a moment longer, trying to judge the direction of the sound's location. It sounded like it was coming from up the stairs. Nervously glancing around her, Rumia slowly ascended the stairs. The steps creaked worryingly under her feet but the held.
"Mystia?" she said when she reached the top. "Is that you?"
…
The creature laughed again. Wow, such language! Do you kiss your bunny-girl with that mouth?
Cut the bullshit, Rin snapped. Do you really believe that any part of me, no matter how twisted with hate, would ever do anything to hurt Reisen? Then she remembered when she herself had absorbed Reisen. On purpose, I mean. And enjoy it.
Nice amendment there. Bet you justify away all your uncomfortable truths like that.
Before Rin could respond, it struck again. Her body convulsed as her mind exploded into pure white.
…
Rumia winced when the a sudden rumbling shook the building. For a moment she was afraid it was going go collapse, but the shaking stopped and everything was still. Her heart pounding, Rumia quickly climbed to the top of the stairs and looked around.
At the top of the staircase was another hallway, lined with open doorways. Rumia slowly passed by room after room, peeking into each one. They were all empty, containing nothing more than decomposing leaves, burnt papers and other rubbish.
She ran her hand over the ashy wall and rubbed the grit between her fingers. What had happened to this place? Was this supposed to represent her former self, contained within those hidden memories Rin had found? (What had she called them? Depressed memories? No, it had been repressed). Or was this an actual place from her past? If so, who had started the fire? Had it been her?
The sound of Mystia crying seemed to be coming from a room near the end of the hallway. Rumia stopped at the entrance and peered in. Like the others, it was practically empty except for the trash and dust that such abandoned places tended to accumulate. There was a window, but it was all boarded up. Sunlight glinted through the slats, casting thin fingers of light over the decay. At one end was what appeared to be a double-door closet, shut tight.
Wait, there was something else. Shoved in the far corner was a roll-away bed with a filthy old blanket and pillow sitting on top of it. Rumia entered the room and goose-stepped her way over to the bed. She gingerly touched the pillow. A cloud of dust puffed up in response.
Guess this was some kind of bedroom, she thought as she looked around the deserted room. But something's…not quite right.
Well, of course something wasn't right. She was trapped in the most vivid dream of her life, exploring a bizarre building gutted by fire. But still…
She squinted and tilted her head sideways. There should be…more…
She blinked. For the briefest of seconds she saw the room restored to pristine condition. The trash was cleared away and the floor scrubbed, the walls cleaned and painted a cheery yellow, the window wide open and letting in the sun's soothing rays.
And everywhere were more beds, blankets and pillows, all lined up in neat little rows. Children's toys and books were strewn among and over them.
And then it was gone. Rumia was once again standing alone in a forgotten room in a forgotten building.
Her head swam. She reeled slightly and forced herself to find her footing. She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead with her fingertips.
Then she opened her eyes. She could still hear Mystia crying; only it was closer. She turned toward the closet. That had to be it. Rumia took a deep breath and pulled it open.
…
Rin couldn't even think, the pain was too much. She was dimly aware that she had been thrown back into her physical body. The feel of the stones pressing against her and the smell of water rushing past was unmistakable, but what difference did it make? The only thing she could concentrate on was the cold steel knife cutting through her brain and the even colder words whispering in her mind.
Why not just let it go? Just let yourself die here, hidden behind the stones. The pain would be over, the fear would be over, and no one would ever know you were here.
Rin managed to gather enough strength to focus on a single name. Rumia…
Aw, still concerned for your little hostage girlfriend? Worried that she might die with you? The Dark Voice cackled. Do you even know what kind of person she is? What she's done? Here, let me show you.
There was a bright flash, and suddenly Rin was no longer wedged under a shelf of stone, she was…prowling through treetops the forest, her forest, feeling the leaves brush past her cheeks and bare limbs as she slowly passed from one branch to another. A night breeze blew in her face, bringing with it all sorts of interesting smells: others like her, sneaking around as competition. The babbling river, its scent still detectable even though it was miles away. The spray of a nearby skunk, disturbed by a pair of unlucky fairies who were now furiously clawing at their noses. And…
Her eyes narrowed. There, so close she could almost taste them. A pair of human children, a boy and a girl. They had probably gone exploring and had gotten lost. Their hands were clasped tightly, and their eyes flitted fearfully at the forest all around them. The girl (she couldn't have been much older than eight) was pressing herself against the boy's side, while the boy kept dropping smooth white stones every few feet or so. Probably so they could keep track of where they had been and not accidentally wander in a circle. Smart, if they were anywhere else.
With an anticipatory grin she dropped silently behind them, keeping pace. Every time they would glance over their shoulders she would shroud herself with shadow and no one would be the wiser.
And so she continued, step by step, inch by inch, until she was right behind them. She reached out with her hands, ready to grab their necks, ready to snatch them away before they even knew she was there. And they would disappear, swallowed up by the night…
Rin returned with a gasp. A few fragments of Rumia's memory clung to her, like the remnants of a particularly vivid dream. She tried to brush them off and reestablish her identity.
You see? She's nothing more than a monster. Put her in a nice dress, tie a pretty bow in her hair and she'd still be nothing more than a monster.
Rin grit her teeth. "She…she…"
Yes, yes, come on. I want to hear this. She what?
Rin summoned up every ounce of strength she could muster. "She's at least better than me," she hissed out loud. "And she sure as hell's better than you!"
With that, she gathered up all her power, every scrap of energy she had at her disposal. Then she stole strength from Kaguya Houraisan and Fujiwara no Mokou as well, digging deep into their seemingly inexhaustible wells. She drew it all together and used it to fashion a weapon, a dagger of pure fury.
Wait, what are you-
Before it could retreat back into Rumia's memories, Rin sealed them off, surrounding them with a barrier of her own will, sealing the creature off from escape. Then, before, it could retaliate, she took the dagger and stabbed it in with all her might.
…
Rumia wasn't sure what she had been expecting to find. Maybe Mystia curled up in the corner. Maybe nothing, with Mystia's voice calling through the walls. Maybe a ghost jumping out to say "Boo!" Maybe a five-star restaurant and attached hot-springs. It didn't matter. Dreams were notoriously unpredictable.
Still, she sure hadn't been expecting a colorful archway filled with smoke and flashing multi-colored lights. That same tinkling music from the circus was playing, and overhead was a yellow sign bordered by green and blue blinking lightbulbs and the word FUNHOUSE in bright green letters.
Rumia closed her eyes with a groan. Great, more of this circus nightmare. Truth be told, she preferred the creepy building nightmare. At least it was quiet.
"Fine, you know what?" she said out loud. "Fine! I'll keep playing your stupid game. But there better be some big-time revelation that makes up for all the crap I've been through, you hear me?"
Without stopping to wonder exactly who she was talking to, Rumia stomped through the archway.
At first, she could see nothing but the smoke and the flashing lights. Then that finally cleared and she found herself in a hallway filled with…
"Mirrors?" She looked the passageway up and down. "Well, that's…new."
Mirrors it was. Dozens of them, all along both walls. Rumia walked up to the nearest one and looked in.
She let out a small eep! and leapt back. Her reflection was horribly deformed. Her head and thighs were blown up like a balloon while her torso was squeezed to the size of the wasp's waist.
She quickly assessed herself. No, her proportions were still all the same. She looked back at the mirror. Still bizarre. She frowned and tilted her head as she peered in closer.
The mirror's glass was folded and squeezed, resulting in the strange reflection. Rumia had to admit it was pretty clever. She wondered if anyone in the real world had ever thought of doing this. If not, she could probably make a killing.
She continued down the hallway, watching the distorted mirrors twist her form in several different ways. Now that she knew how it was done, she could help but giggle at some of the funnier results.
Then she reached a mirror that made her pause. It didn't change her reflection in any way. Instead, it was perfectly normal. A youkai girl with short blond hair and red eyes dressed in a black dress, white shirt and black vest with a red tie. A red and white ribbon was tied into her hair.
She instinctively touched her hand to her hair. The ribbon was gone. And yet, there it was in the reflection. Strange. Hadn't Marisa Kirisame say something about her ribbon, back in that recorded memory Rin had played for her? Interesting.
She glanced at the next mirror and her heart nearly leapt into her throat. It was her again, except now she was only wearing a filthy grey shift and crouched down on all fours. Her body was much leaner, her eyes much more wild, and her face was smeared with dirt. Dried blood crusted around her lips. However, the ribbon was still in her hair.
Rumia almost didn't recognize herself. It had been decades since she had looked like that. It wasn't a time of her life she gave much thought to. As far as she had been concerned, it was just the natural way of youkaihood. Still, actually seeing herself like that was…disquieting.
The third one was easy enough to identify. In this mirror, she was completely nude, missing all her clothing up to and including the ribbon. Furthermore, her body glowed with a faint yellow light. It was that mental body she had been wearing while in Rin's mind. Rumia set her mouth in a thin line, shrugged, and moved on.
The one right after that thought, that one just confused her. It was still her. Sort of. At least she was sure it was. There were a great number of differences though. Her hair was longer and twisted into a pigtail. Her face was…plainer, thin but not gaunt, not like the echo of her savage days. And, paradoxically enough, her eyes were no longer red but muddy brown. To top it off, she was wearing some kind of odd uniform; grey skirt, grey jacket over a white shirt.
Rumia scratched her head. There was something very familiar about that outfit, and not in the sense of the strange déjà vu she had been getting lately. She was pretty sure she had seen that same uniform very recently.
Then her eyes widened as realization struck. She had seen that uniform, not ten minutes ago back in the giant tent! Those children, sitting in the first two rows. The girls had all been wearing uniforms exactly that like one.
She thought of the cheerful-looking boy who had waved at her. Pieces were starting to come together. Slowly at first, but she was inching toward some possibilities that she did not like. No ma'am, she did not like them one bit.
Then she came to the next mirror, the last one in the row, and gasped.
It was…her? Not her? Again, there were similarities and differences, but they were even more extreme. She was at least two feet taller and much older. Her body had grown and filled out, replacing her chubby-little girl's form with feminine curves and breasts. She wore a plain, sleeveless black dress, which was ripped and torn as if she had fallen through a thorn patch. Her normal red eyes were back, but the burned with a cruel intensity that was more than a little frightening. Her wild hair fell past her shoulders and was tipped in black. Metallic talons instead of fingers, two rows of spikes for teeth, and two massive leathery wings sprouted from her back.
Rumia held up a hand. The nightmare reflection copied her like a good reflection was supposed to do. She raised her eyebrows and let them drop and stuck out her tongue. Again, everyone movement was mirrored exactly.
She was starting to feel sick. Was this her past? Or was it her future? Or another one of Rin's metaphors? Was this supposed to represent the condition of her soul or something? If so, she needed to pay a visit to the nearest shrine and start repenting, fast. Maybe even a temple.
Then her nightmare reflection smiled and winked at her.
Rumia shrieked in alarm and fell backward as the nightmare reflection drew its fist back and slammed it against the glass. The mirror shattered into a thousand sparkling pieces.
Rumia remained sitting where she was, hands splayed to either side and eyes fixated on the remains of the destroyed mirror. Her breath came out in panicked little gasps.
Then she looked up. Where the mirror's glass had once been was now an open doorway. Through it glowed a flickering orange light. A cool breeze floated in, smelling of dry grass.
Oh, come on! Rumia thought as despair welled up. There's still more?
She took a deep breath, held it in and slowly let it out. It came out a little more shaky than she would have liked, but it helped steady her nerves.
Then she pulled herself to her feet and, careful to avoid cutting herself on the fallen shards of glass, walked through the doorway.
…
The monster shuddered as Rin attacked. It tried to pull back, but now that it was out in the open Rin wasn't about to let it go. She continued to hem it in as she drove that spike of hate into the core of its being.
You want hate? she demanded. You want pain? You want me to start killing? Okay, I'll start with you.
It hissed at her. Do you…Ah!...Do you really think this…this will fix anything? Killing off a part of your own self?
Rin screamed and drove it in deeper. She could literally feel the thing recoil in pain. Stop saying that! You're not a part of me, you never were! I was an idiot to listen to you in the first place. But now…I think I'll be correcting that mistake.
A part of her was aware that she was enjoying this entirely too much. A part of her was disgusted by that fact. However, by this point, that part of her had lost its right to vote.
And then the Dark Voice spoke again. Despite the agony it was in, it managed to laugh. Ah, R-R-Rin, still s-so stupid to th-th-the end. Y-you're right, I was never a p-part of you, t-that was just to get you to l-l-l-listen…B-but do you know who I am a p-p-part of?
Rin stopped her attack. Her mind froze when she realized what it was implying. Wait, Rumia?
She had been right after all? But if that was the case, then wouldn't hurting this thing also hurt…
Uncertainty and dawning horror took her, and her weapon dissolved. The walls she had formed to trap the thing shuddered and collapsed.
Even in its wounded state, it was fast and opportunistic. Before Rin could recover it struck her, sinking talons that were hard as steel and cold as ice into whatever bit of Rin's being it could find purchase. Rin tried to scream, but she couldn't even find the strength to do that.
…
She was outside again, only this time it was for real.
Rumia stood in a field of tall, windblown grass. There was a forest nearby. Judging by the color of the leaves, it was in the middle of autumn. The sun was setting, a huge orange sphere melting into the horizon. It was cold, but not unbearably so. Rumia didn't even notice. Her attention was focused on what was in the center of the field.
There, the grass had been cut down and cleared away, forming a ring about forty feet in diameter. In the ring's center was a stack of deadwood. It was burning softly, sending flickering embers up to disappear in the mild light of the sunset. The fire didn't look that dangerous. If it weren't for the object jutting up out of the fire, it would be easy to mistake it for a normal bonfire, similar to those commonly seen at parties. However, there was an object, one that Rumia recognized immediately.
It was a tall wooden plank, with a shorter one fixated across its length a few feet below the top. "A cross," Rumia said in amazement. "A real, honest-to-the-gods cross." She had always been fascinated with the human stories of the saint who had been crucified on a cross. It had been a cool story, but she had never expected to see one for herself.
She slowly circled the fire, staring. Now that she was actually seeing one, she realized what an awful way to die it was. To feel you life seep away minute-by-minute, when every breath was an agonizing effort? She could see nails stuck in the wood at the end of each of the cross's arms. She swallowed. Those would be driven right through the unlucky victim's wrists, not enough to kill but more than enough to cause agonizing pain.
But it seemed like simple crucifixion had not been enough to satisfy whoever had done this. With the addition of the bonfire, the victim's death would probably be quicker, but extraordinarily painful.
Who was this for? she wondered. What did they do to deserve this?
Then her eyes dipped down to where the feet would have also been nailed to the cross. Her eyebrows shot up and she gasped.
Where the nail should have been a sword had been driven into the wood near the cross's base. The thin and curving blade shined silver in the firelight. The handle glinted gold, and precious stones sparkled from the pommel and from around the cross-grip.
Rumia's body started to tremble. She licked her lips as she stared. Though her intelligence was more-or-less on par with a human's, Rumia still had a youkai's instincts. And among those was a fascination with shiny objects, especially treasure.
Rumia neared the gleaming weapon, unsure of what do with it. In all likelihood the metal would be too hot to touch. She would sear her hands before she even got close to pulling it out.
Rumia glanced around, looking for a tool she might use. Nothing. She looked back at the cross and slowly extended a hand, only to draw it back again.
What was she doing? Pretty or not, the sword wasn't even real. Even if she could get it out without scorching herself, what was she going to do? Cut her way out of the dream and Rin's mind and hope it somehow followed? Better to just forget it and move on.
Still…Rumia had been shown it for a reason. Even if she didn't fully understand anything she had seen, she probably shouldn't ignore something just because it didn't make immediate sense.
She extended her hand again. To her surprise, there was no increase of heat as she drew closer to the fire. Emboldened by this, she reached all the way and cautiously touched the pommel.
It was cool to the touch.
Rumia grinned. "Finally this weirdness is starting to work for me." With that, she gripped the handle with both hands and tugged. It slid free with ease.
With a wide grin, Rumia examined her new treasure. She'd like to see Yukari try to throw her off a cliff when she had this!
Then something caught her eye. Set between the arms of the cross-brace was a large round stone. It was perfectly smooth and deep shade of blue that was almost black. Inside was something she had first mistaken for a star-sparkle, such as she had seen in other stones, but upon further inspection she saw that it was the outline of an upside-down woman dressed in a robe with six wings extending from her back.
Rumia frowned and turned the sword around. No matter which way it was facing, the woman's outline remained pointing downward.
Huh, now that was weird. Rumia shook her head. She wished her dream would stop being so damned cryptic all the time. She was bright enough to get by in her chosen world, but all of these mind games were starting to give her a headache. Hell, just the idea of her having a surname was enough to put her in a state of shock.
She sighed and stood to her feet, the sword clutched in her hand. Well, it was time to move on. At least this segment wasn't nearly as freaky as the others had been, flaming device of horrendous execution notwithstanding. In fact, this time she had actually profited! If only the remaining time she spent here would be as pleasant.
Speaking of which, what was taking Rin so long? Rumia shrugged and started walking. She guessed that her memories were giving the Kirin girl more trouble than they expected. Well, it wasn't like anything else had been going their way as of late. She just hoped Rin would find a solution soon.
…
I really should have done this from the beginning, the Dark Voice said scornfully. Look at you! To think I was actually worried that you might have been able to stop me. All that time wasted for nothing.
It lashed out again, piercing through Rin's psyche with a long, thin wire, razor-sharp and ice-cold. Rin could only lie helplessly as her mind was shredded from the inside out.
You know, if I were capable of the emotion I think I would feel sorry for you. I don't think I can think one single thing that's gone right in your life. Hell, if you weren't such a pathetic coward I might just be able to summon up some pity. But no, you're going to die here as you've lived: a complete and utter failure, worthless in every way.
And it hit her again. And again. Rin could only rock with the blows as her shattered thoughts focused on a single name.
Reisen! she cried out. Reisen, Reisen, Reisen…
The attacks ceased. Aw, does it miss its mommy? The Dark Voice laughed. Does it want the bunny-girl to come and give it a hug and a cup of warm milk and make all the pain go away? Tooooooo baddddddd. Mommy's not coming to save you, kiddo. Not now, not ever.
Rin couldn't think of a response. She just kept repeating the same thing over and over.
…Reisen, Reisen, Reisen, Reisen…
In fact, you know what I think I'll do once I've disposed of you and retaken control of your body? I think I'm gonna head back to Eientei. I'm gonna find that bunny-girl of yours. And you know what I'm gonna do then?
…Reisen, Reisen, Reisen…huh?
First I'm going to walk up to her. I'll act all scared and timid-like. I'll use your voice. I'll start crying and acting real pitiful, saying I'm sorry and I miss her and love her and just want to come home again. I'll have picked through the scattered remains of your memories, so I'll know exactly what to say to worm into her heart.
Rin's physical body lay silent, as did her mind. Her right hand started to twitch.
And then, once she's won over and convinced that her little girl's finally come home, do you know what I'll do? Well, to be honest there's so many choices I'm not entirely sure yet! Maybe I'll just stab a stalk of bamboo right up her ass and wave her still-living body around like a flag. Maybe cut up her feet bit-by-bit and force her to eat it. Maybe I'll just rape her and enjoy the way her struggling body feels as warm flesh is consumed by the taint. Or hell, here's a classic: maybe I'll crucify her and set her on fire! People seem like that one a lot!
The spinning fragments of Rin's mind started to piece themselves together, slowly at first but steadily gaining speed. The searing pain began to recede and fade away. No, not fade away. It was still there, burning with the same intensity. But it was starting to change, to become a different sensation entirely.
Rage.
…
Rumia hadn't gone far before she found the next place she was supposed to go. She let out a groan of exasperation. It was another tent. This one wasn't nearly as big as the one her friends' doppelgangers had dragged her into. In fact, it was barely large enough for two people, and it was made from green silks rather than red-and-white fabrics. Still, a tent was a tent, and right now in Rumia's mind they were all the same. Over the entrance was a blue sign which proudly proclaimed that people could go inside to have FORTUNES TOLD.
"Ugh," Rumia said. Her face twisted into a grimace. "Great. More of this circus shit."
She looked down at her sword. A small smile tugged at her lips.
"Well, at least I've got my new toy here! The next person who tries to take my ticket or force me to put on a show's getting their head chopped off!"
Cheered by the thought, Rumia walked up to the entrance. "Whoever's in there, I'm warning you: I'm in a cranky mood and I got a really kick-ass sword! So I'd better not see anything annoying, weird, frustrating or scary, got it?"
A low laugh was her response. But instead of a sinister cackle like she might have been suspecting, it was a sincere chuckle of amusement. "Got it," a rich, velvety voice said. "You may enter without fear."
Rumia frowned. Like just about everything she had experienced thus far, that voice was familiar, but she couldn't quite put her finger on where she had heard it. "Okay, but you'd better keep that…Oh shit!"
The sword nearly fell from her hands. Rumia took a hesitant step backwards. "It's you," she whispered.
The inside of the tent was circular, with a round, wooden table sitting on a single leg at its center. A variety of different charms were hung from the roof by thread: bones, papers with strange symbols, stones and multicolored crystals that cast strange lights along the walls as they rotated.
But Rumia's attention was focused on the person who stood behind the table. Or rather, floated. From the waist up she appeared to be an attractive woman with flowing green hair and pale skin. She wore a blue and white robe, and a tall blue hat decorated with depictions of celestial bodies sat on her head. But she had apparently grown tired of her legs and had them replaced with a twisting tail of pale blue mist.
The creature known only as Mima smiled at Rumia. "Well, looks like you know who I am. I feel famous!"
Rumia stiffened. She held up her sword with both hands and waved it threateningly. "Stay back, or I'll…uh…"
Mima laughed. "Oh, you're so precious. Honey, I meant what I said. You have nothing to fear from me. I have no intention of harming you, scaring you, freaking you out or any of that other stuff you said for the duration of our session. Besides, even if I did, what did you intend to do with that oversized toothpick? Fan me to death?"
Rumia glanced down at the sword. She lowered it. "Uh, I guess. You…promise you won't do any of that stuff?"
"Of course. That would be bad business."
"How…I'm sorry, but you kinda have a…no offense, but people have told me that you're not exactly truthful. So, uh, how do I know…"
"Sweetie, this is your dream. Only you can answer that question." Mima gestured toward the chair across from her. "Sit."
Rumia hesitated, and then she took the seat. "Okay, but please don't go back on your promise. I'm having a pretty rotten day so far." She looked around. "So, uh, what happens now? Do we…have tea or what's going on?"
Mima shook her head. "Didn't you read the sign outside? You want tea, then go to a tea house. This is a place to have your future revealed."
Rumia's eyes widened. "My…future?"
"Of course. The sign did say FORTUNES TOLD. Honestly, what did you expect that meant?"
"I'm…not sure. But how can you tell me my future? I mean, you already told me that you know this is all a dream, right? I can get how my weird-ass past might pop up, but the future?"
"You'd be surprised," Mima said with a shrug and a smile. "This is no ordinary dream, after all. Reality here is already warped thanks to your Kirin friend's…unique mind. Plus, she's been using the Moon Princess' power over eternity to unravel your stubborn memories. As a result, time here has been distorted, in both directions."
Rumia blinked. "Wait, how do you know all this? You're not even real!"
"Am I not? Perhaps so, but a lack of existence is no excuse for being ignorant."
"What-"
"And speaking of ignorance, you seem to be swimming in it. So should you really refused the opportunity to gain more information? Who knows, you might learn something useful."
"I…" Rumia shook her head. "Sorry, this is just so confusing."
"Most things are, when they happen. It is not until we have the advantage of hindsight that they make any sense. And by then it's usually too late."
"Well, that's…optimistic."
"Hmmm, at least you've kept your sense of humor. Shall I begin?"
Rumia shrugged. "Sure, I guess. Are you going to use a crystal ball or what?"
"Nothing so fancy." Mima passed her hand over the table's surface. Three cards appeared, face down.
Rumia groaned. "More cards. Great." Then she clapped her hand over her mouth when she realized who she was mouthing off.
For her part, Mima didn't seem to be offended by her rudeness. "I know. Don't look like much, do they? But sometimes it seems that the humblest of things can become the most significant, yourself being a prime example."
"Can…uh, can they really tell me what's going to happen? I mean, for real?"
Mima shrugged. "Nothing lost by trying. If nothing else, they can encourage you to look at a problem from a different viewpoint and gain a perspective that had never occurred to you. Now, we'll keep things simple. This is a three-card spread. One card for your past…"
Rumia's ears perked up immediately. "Wait, it can tell me my past too? The one I've been trying to find? Or just the one I've known?"
"Yes," Mima said.
"Yes, what? Yes, my missing past or just my regular past?"
"Exactly."
Rumia repressed the eye-roll she felt forming.
Mima continued. "After that, your present. In many ways, this is the most important, as your actions now decide what will happen. And finally, the final card reveals your eventual fate." She laid her hand on the first card. "Now, let's see how you've been behaving yourself."
With that, she turned it over.
On it was a picture of a young man walking along a cliff. Over his shoulder was a stick with a bag tied to the end.
"The Fool," Mima said.
Rumia scowled in indignation. "Hey!"
Mima waved off her protest. "It doesn't mean you're an idiot. More commonly, it symbolizes the beginning of a journey, someone who is setting forth without fully knowing or understanding the hardships that await them. And that's not a bad thing either, as it implies a certain amount of innocence. And to date, you've lived you life innocent of any excessive ordeals, correct? A silly mischief-maker, who's only concern was how to keep herself amused." Mima's half-smile returned. "In which case, I supposed the literal meaning of 'The Fool' would be quite appropriate."
With that, she turned over the second card. On this were several animals staring upward at the night sky, with the Moon staring down at them. "The Moon," Mima said. "It seems that your days of carefree mischief are over. Now you are lost and unsure of your path. You are without a reliable guide, and do not know where your steps will lead."
Rumia didn't say anything. That part was true enough.
With that, Mima overturned the third card. She hesitated for half a second before putting it all the way down. Rumia stared. On it was a hideous horned, hairy-legged monster. It sat perched on a post to which were chained a naked man and a naked woman. Over its forehead was a five-pointed star, upside-down.
"The Devil," Mima murmured. "The destroyer from within. Hmmm…"
"What? What? What's it mean?"
"Exactly what I just said. Something from within you" Mima reached over and poked Rumia in the chest "will rise up and take control. Something…crippling. Perverse. Perhaps even evil. Usually it signifies some sort of flaw that you are allowing to hold you back through inaction. But here in Gensokyo the evil could end up being quite literal. I would watch my step if I were you."
Rumia shook her head. "So…that's all you can tell me? That I'm lost? I knew that already. That I've got some sort of evil monster inside me? Is that what Rin was talking about? Or does it…Come on, give me something to work with here."
"I'm afraid that's it. If you find yourself disappointed then I'm sorry. However, if you were expecting the cards to spell out your path in detail, then perhaps you should consult a crystal-ball. If nothing else it's easier to wing." Mima passed her hands over the cards again, returning them to their face-down position. "But at any rate, this session is over. There are others that need my guidance."
Rumia looked around. "Who? I'm the only one here! Uh, I mean besides you of course."
"Perhaps, but this story is not about you alone. There are others that will be affected by what is to come." With that, Mima once again turned over the first card. "Hmmm, the Eight of Pentacles. The apprentice who desires to learn more. You have studied under a master but still wish to learn more. Ambitious, aren't you?"
Rumia looked around the otherwise empty tent. "Um, who are you talking to? I've never been anyone's apprentice. And Cirno doesn't count!"
Mima ignored her. "Ah. The Seven of Swords. It would seem that despite all the power you've accumulated, it isn't protecting you from the wiles of others. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that you are being betrayed, though not by someone you trust anyway. And now…Oh dear. The Ten of Swords? I'm sorry, but it looks like despite all that you do, it will all be for naught. Failure is your only option."
A slow shiver trickled down Rumia's back. Mima didn't even seem to know that she was there anymore.
"Well then, moving on." Mima once again reset the cards and started over. "The Empress. The creating spirit. And you've done quite a bit of that, haven't you? In addition, you are quite protective of what you've created. However, I would be careful of becoming overzealous. And now…Ah, there, you see? The inverted Hierophant. The false teacher. Except you aren't the one to take on a mentor, false or otherwise, are you? Well, I suppose this must mean you. Manipulative and deceptive. But is it for the greater good? A necessary evil? But unfortunately for you, you path leads to…Death. The end of an era. Depressing, isn't it?"
Rumia started to become aware that the lights inside the tent were started to dim, to the point that Mima was now enshrouded with shadow. However, her blue eyes continued to glow in the dark, until they were almost two floating spheres of cold flame.
"And as for you…The inverted High Priestess, the concealer of secrets. Are you keeping secrets to yourself, or has someone been keeping secrets from you? Or perhaps it is to be taking literally. After all, you're not exactly known for being vigilant about your job. And what's this? The Seven of Cups? And it's inverted as well! Looks like someone is getting a little fed up with deceptions and machinations! Good thing too, as this will lead to…The World. Not bad. Ascension to something greater."
What was going on here? Mima had specifically promised not to start acting creepy like everyone else had. But here she was, being creepier than Rin whenever she was trying to be nice.
Then two things Mima had said to her echoed in her mind.
I have no intention of harming you, scaring you, freaking you out or any of that other stuff you said for the duration of our session.
But at any rate, this session is over.
Oh. Crap.
Careful not to upset anything, Rumia slowly slid from her chair. Mima paid her no mind, content to continue flipping over the same three cards again and again, producing new results every time. She continued her readings in a low murmur, speaking to seemingly no one.
"The Fool inverted. You've had your naïveté taken advantage of, haven't you? Innocent to begin with, but that hasn't exactly turned out well."
Rumia cleared her throat. "Um, it looks like you're busy. So, uh, thanks for the prediction and all. I'm just…gonna leave you to your. Other. Customers? Is that okay?"
Mima paid her no mind. "Ah, you have a Ten of Swords as well. One wonders if things can possibly get any worse. I'd beware of asking that question, because it usually can."
Clutching her sword tightly, Rumia edged her way toward the silk-covered entrance to the tent.
"But all is not lost. For here we have the Hanged Man. Not as dismal as it appears. Look at the smile on his face. A sacrifice will be made, but it will be made gladly, and just might be beneficial toward you."
Enough of this. Rumia turned and ran from the tent, leaving the ghost alone with her cards and their meanings. Oblivious that her client had just left, Mima continued muttering readings, reading the fates of people who were not there.
…
Hmmm, I wonder what I should do with her after she expires. Skin her maybe? I don't know, sounds a little over the top if you ask me. What do you think? Should I…What are you doing?
Rin didn't answer. In fact, she couldn't even if she wanted to. All her concentration was focused on pulling the ragged bits of her psyche back into something that was at least functional.
The Dark Voice let out a low whistle. My gods, are you trying to get up? Don't tell me you're still trying to fight. Do the words 'resistance is futile' mean anything to you?
Enough damage had been repaired to allow for semi-coherent thought. The response Rin shot back lacked much in the way of subtlety, but the point was clear.
Wow, you really do have a foul mouth, don't you? the monster laughed. And hey, looks like you've finally decided to grow a backbone. About time too. Too bad I'm about to shatter it to pieces, but you get credit for trying. There was a rush of energy as it gathered its power together, ready for another strike. So this tragic tale has finally come to its tragic end. It was inevitable if you ask me. Any last words? Not that anyone'll ever hear them but hey, it's tradition.
Rin said nothing.
No? Just as well. Go out with dignity then. Sayonara, little girl.
Just before the Dark Voice struck, Rin used her remaining strength and will to bring up the best defense she could. It didn't stop the blow, but it was never intended to. Rather, it deflected it just enough so that it missed the core of Rin's being. Instead, it hit the dam holding back Rin's rage and cut right through.
Emotion is a funny thing. People believe they can control it, suppress it, hold it under. And under favorable circumstances, they can. To a degree. But it's impossible to get rid of. It's always there, lurking below the surface. Every experience adds to it, all those little triumphs and defeats, all of them making it all the stronger and more chaotic. And so people control to push it back down, covering it with reason and logic, hoping their minds would be enough to hold back the flood of passion that would drown them if it were ever to be loosed.
Sometimes it's possible. Those who've lived relatively normal lives, or at least lives free from excessive complication, can usually balance out the negative emotion with the good, keeping it in check. However, those who live under extremes find it to be much more difficult. Find someone who's known nothing but bliss and joy, someone who's lived their life ignorant of the world's hardships, and introduce them to real pain. Watch them collapse as thoughts and feelings they might never have thought themselves capable of rush up to consume them.
Likewise, find someone who has known nothing but pain and fear, someone who's lived their life devoid of happiness. Show them kindness, show them love. Show them that the world is not as bleak as they have thought it to be. Maybe they'll react with suspicion and hostility and bite the hand that feeds them. Maybe they'll weep tears of joy. But whatever the reaction, there will be little in the way emotional restraint.
Rin had lived such a life. She was not old. Perhaps she had lived a full set of years by how a human judges a lifespan, but according to a Kirin's calculations she was still a child. But even in her relatively short time she had known more pain, more fear, more anger and more frustration than many who had existed for centuries. And the Dark Voice had been right about one thing: she did always try to keep the worst of it in check, because she was afraid of what would happen were she to truly let loose.
However, the Dark Voice had hit her right where she had been keeping those emotions, holding them back. And as such, it got the full brunt when they came pouring out.
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! it screamed as they poured into it like liquid fire. It tried to pull back, but there was nowhere to run. Rin couldn't stop the flow even if she wanted to. And after what the monster had said about Reisen, there was no chance she would be motivated to even try.
And so, her strength now powered by pure, unadultered fury, Rin clamped down on the creature and refused to let go. It tried to lash out, but even it had a limit as to how much pain it could take. And now it was literally being burned alive.
If Rin could have, she would have started taunting the Dark Voice, letting it know exactly how she felt about what it was experiencing. However, all of her concentration was taken up by holding it place, so she remained silent and let it writhe in agony. Even when the fire began to burn her as well, she continued to hold on.
…
Rumia stopped running and looked around. It seemed that the tent had chosen not to cooperate with her desire to leave. The entrance had vanished, replaced with a seemingly unending passageway of blue silk. Ornate lanterns hung from overhead, providing her with enough light to illuminate her way, but not enough to see any kind of end.
With a shudder, she continued onward. The only other option was to go back, and her gut told her that doing so would not turn out well for her.
Then Rumia looked up and frowned. Through the thick folds of fabric, she could the winds begin to howl. Then thunder boomed from somewhere nearby, making her jump.
"Guess there's a storm going on," she muttered to no one in particular. "Hope it's nothing serious."
The lights flickered. For a moment she was worried that they might go out entirely, but they managed to remain lit.
"Okay, let's get out of here before the whole place collapses."
Rumia increased her pace, starting off at a jog but eventually escalated to a full run. She charged through the tunnel of blue silk, holding the sword out in front of her in exactly the sort of way she wasn't supposed to.
A strange howling filled her ears, like wind rushing through a canyon. Fear started to trickle through her veins. For some reason, she felt like something was following her. She stole a glance over her shoulder. The tunnel lay empty behind her, but this did nothing to calm her. If anything, it made her run all the faster.
Suddenly the tunnel opened up and her feet were slapping on cold stone instead of soft fabric. Rumia skidded to a stop and looked around. She had emerged in some sort of stone passageway. It was completely windowless and lit only by torches set in intervals along the walls. It reminded Rumia of the sort that one might see in castle basements.
Or dungeons.
The skin on the back of her neck started crawling. Rumia looked behind her and saw nothing more than a blank wall. Whatever entrance she had emerged from was long gone.
"Guess I'm stuck here," she whispered. "Okay then. Not cool."
That was when the sound of Mystia's sobs returned, echoing through the hallway. Rumia flinched at the unexpected noise.
"This again?" Rumia sucked in air between her teeth. "Okay, fine. Let's finish this quest already."
Biting her lower lip, Rumia cautiously made her way down the passageway, blade held at the ready. The sound was definitely coming from up ahead. Just a little closer, just a…
Rumia stopped in her tracks. She had come to a rectangular wooden doorway with iron hinges. Set in the upper half was a barred window. From the sound of things, Mystia (if it was her) was inside.
Rumia stood on her tippy-toes and peeked in. The room appeared to be some sort of laboratory. All along the walls were shelves and shelves of all sorts of things; books, scrolls, bottles of strange liquids, instruments of unknown purpose and design, boxes containing who-knows-what, even what appeared to be a full human skeleton, disassembled and spread over two of the shelves. In the center of the room was a flat stone table with several leather straps attached, presumably to keep whatever poor fool that had been unlucky enough to be experimented on in place. The place was dimly lit, with a dull grey light coming from an unseen source.
Rumia shuddered. Though this was (as far as she knew) the first time she had seen this room, it still sent spiders crawling up her spine, not too dissimilar to how Yukari made her feel. She didn't know if this was something from her past or her future, but she prayed it was the past. Though the idea that she had spent any time here was repugnant, it was better than the idea that she was going to have to go here in the future.
Mystia cried out again, louder this time. She was inside, there was no doubt about it. And now she was saying something, repeating a single phrase over and over.
"Die. Gone," she wept. "Die. Gone. Die. Gone."
What? Was she dying in there? Sure, Mystia's dream double had been incredibly annoying, but that didn't mean Rumia wanted her to die in a place like this.
But wasn't it all fake? It wasn't like this Mystia was a real person anyway. She was just doing whatever weird stuff the dream had programmed her to do. She couldn't feel any actual pain or actually die, because she hadn't been alive to begin with. And Rumia wasn't hero enough to go risking her life (or at least what peace of mind she had left) to save someone who didn't really need saving.
"Die. Gone. Die. Gone. Die. Gone."
Rumia rolled her eyes. "Damn it," she whispered. Then she seized the iron ring on the door's side and pulled back.
It didn't budge.
With a growl, Rumia dropped the sword and grabbed the ring with both hands. She braced one foot against the wall and yanked back as hard as she could.
It took all of her strength, but the door finally began to slide open with a groan. The iron hinges loudly protested the disturbance, but she managed to open a crack wide enough for her body. Rumia grabbed up her sword and squeezed through.
Doing her best to avoid touching the stone table, Rumia searched the room. It was just as dismal now that she was inside than it had been when she was observing it from without. "Mystia?" she said in a loud whisper. "Damn it, quit hiding! You're making this harder than-"
Then she saw her. Mystia was indeed in the room. She was sitting in one of the far corners, knees brought up and arms wrapped around something Rumia couldn't make out, something white. Her face was downward as she continued to weep as she repeated the same two words.
"Die. Gone. Die. Gone. Die. Gone."
Rumia slowly made her way over to the night-sparrow. "Mystia, what's wrong? Are you from the past or the future? Or is this a…I don't know, what's going on? What are you holding?"
Finally Mystia looked up to face her. Startled, Rumia sucked in air. This Mystia was most definitely not the one she had met at the tea party or in the circus. This Mystia had none of that infuriatingly smug emptiness that seemed to define her friends' doppelgangers. Rather, this Mystia looked like she had been through hell. Her face was filthy and bruised and streaked with tears. Her hair was disheveled and unwashed and missing its winged hat. Her clothing was likewise in need of a good laundress and seamstress. And the look on her face…
Rumia had never seen her like that before. Sure, there had been time when Mystia had gotten upset, but it wasn't like this. This was naked grief, pure and painful.
Rumia gulped. "Mysty," she whispered. "What happened?"
Mystia didn't answer her question. She just clutched the white thing closer to her chest and said, "Die. Gone."
"What does that mean? Who died? What's gone?"
"Die. Gone. Die is gone."
The room suddenly filled with a brilliant flash of light. Rumia cried out in surprise and covered her eyes. Her sword fell to the ground beside her, clattering against the stone.
When she was sure she could stand it, Rumia opened cracked open her eyes. Golden sunlight was pouring in through the doorway, lighting up the dreary laboratory.
"Wow," Rumia said in amazement. "When the sun comes out, it comes out!" Then she frowned. "Unless of course it's not the sun and the place in on fire or something. That would go with the sort of day I'm having."
She glanced down. "Look, that's probably our cue to leave. You can fill me in later on what-"
She stopped talking. Mystia was gone. Vanished, as if she had dissolved in the sunlight.
Rumia stared at the now-empty space, unsure of how to react. On the one hand, having Mystia suddenly disappear was perfectly keeping with how this dream had been behaving. Her message, confusing and disturbing as it had been, had been delivered. Therefore, she had served her purpose and it was time to move on.
On the other hand, Rumia couldn't get her mind off of the expression on the night-sparrow's face. That look of anguish had been more real than anything else Rumia had encountered thus far. It troubled her to her core.
She took a steadying breath and looked around. Even in the sunlight, the strange laboratory still creeped her out. "Okay, I guess I'd better go." She shook her head and moved toward the door. "Rin, I don't know what the hell you're doing out there, but I've got a serious bone to pick with you. Whatever you've dug up better answer everything."
With that, she shoved her back against the door to open it further and stepped outside into the light.
…
Dying, it (something, he, her, me?) was dying, had to be fading away (off, like smoke. Like. Smoke), drifting into not(emptiness? Nonexistence? Hehehehe)hing.
Hurt. Yes, it was hurt. Everything hurt. She hurt, it hurt (what was it? Is it me or her or him or everyone?), they might or might not hurt, but it still was hurt. Everything was broken (smashed, ripped torn {to pieces [and bleeding!]). Could it be fixed?
Could?
It?
Be?
…fixed…?
It's not moving anymore. It's talking (speaking? Taunting). It's hurt too. Can't talk/think in a straight, straight line. W-w-wel-l-l-l. G-go-good job-ob. Y-you b-bb-beat the bb-b-bad guyyyy. B-bbuuutt-t-tt yo-you still l-l-l-loozzzz. Th…They'll n-never ac-c-cept you. Yo-ou'll b-be f-f-forev-ev-ever hun-hunted. No m-m-atter wh-what you d-d-do, y-you'll-
Nothing. Silence (quiet, all no longer speaking/thinking). Dead? Is it dead? Is I(t) dead? Dead and gone? Dead. Died. Dies. Die. Gone. Die. Gone. Diegone.
No (nothing), can't let. What? Nothing. Falling? May(be). R(a)ising? Don't wanna. Don't make m(h)e(r) get up Reisen, I want to sl(di)eep in!
Reisen? (R)e(i)se(n)? Reisen-ese=Rin, right? It must mean some(thing). Soemtihng. Must firuge it uot. Msut furige it…
...
Can I sleep now?
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Well, damn. I can't use this mess. On to Plan E then.
...
If anyone's wondering exactly how the world inside Rin's mind works…then your guess is as good as mind. Honestly, I'm just going with whatever's the coolest. So…yeah.
Anyway, to anyone who actually has experience with Tarot cards, I apologize for any inaccuracies I might have written into the cards' meanings. I don't use them myself, so I had to look them up online and ask someone who does do tarot readings to help me. But still, there are probably some mistakes. If I screwed something up, feel free to send me a pm and I'll be glad to fix it.
Also, I meant to address this last chapter, but it was late and I forgot. Regarding the censoring of the f-bombs…Yeah, I can see how that would be annoying. The reason why I was doing that was partially as a way to cheat and avoid bumping this fic up to a Mature rating right off the bat, as it's straddling the line already and I didn't want it to vanish from the normal search results. Also, I was trying to take a page out of NGE: Nobody Dies' book, in that when an f-bomb does show up uncensored, you know something big just happened. However, looks like it's not working out the way I thought, so all future "fucks" will be uncensored. I was planning on bumping up the rating in a few chapters anyway.
Anyway, looks like Deep Within's gonna be extended to a third installment, and then we'll get back to Yukari's Really Bad Day.
Until next time, everyone!