Creation began on 02-14-22

Creation ended on 05-12-22

Neon Genesis Evangelion

New NERV Order

A/N: This is expected when different beliefs are made to clash because some people don't wish to change everything others want to change.

It was unforeseeable! Nobody really thought something like this would ever happen! But when the Committee sent their report, it was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Gendo Ikari, the leader of the paramilitary agency of NERV…was dismissed from his command of the agency due to lack of professional ethics. Of course, this was the official reason he was being let go. The unofficial, and therefore, true reason he was being dismissed…was because the Committee held him responsible for the loss of Lilith and the Lance of Longinus. Even if there was an explanation for what happened to both, it happened while under his custody…and he knew nothing about how the loss occurred due to lack of surveillance in key areas of NERV HQ.

With his removal from NERV, this left Kozo Fuyutsuki in charge. Not that it made any difference; without Lilith or the Lance of Longinus, there was no chance of achieving Human Instrumentality, no matter what the Committee or NERV did to try and reconcile the issues. Putting Fuyutsuki in charge was just to preserve what little face NERV had to the public when it came to dealing with the Angels, not that it made any difference there, either.

"…So, they put Fuyutsuki in charge," went Kaji to Misato as they walked down the hall of NERV HQ to the command center. "It doesn't actually mean that anything else has changed."

"When you look at the statistics involved in the promotion, Fuyutsuki is viewed with more acceptance than Ikari was," Misato explained; based on past experiences, a lot of the personnel at NERV viewed Fuyutsuki as being easier to contend with than Gendo due to having a more-perceptive personality and readable face, unlike the stone-cold, emotionless visage of Gendo, who was hard to read. "Not to mention that Fuyutsuki has been viewed as the light to Ikari's dark, so there's that to go with why he's more acceptable than Ikari."

"Any chance that Shinji will return to pilot the Eva with his father no longer in charge?"

"No. Even with his father no longer in charge, Shinji won't return to pilot. There's a lotta open disgust that he longer keeps bottled up. Plus, he's taken the time to cook some new dishes. I didn't know that miso soup could be used as an ingredient to a chicken dish he picked up."

"So, what's he going to do in the future?"

"If he goes on to be a chef, he'll be a great one."

"You know, I didn't really think much on it, but that mysterious mecha that appeared has to be based somewhere in Japan. The way it initially looked when it appeared the first time has that… I don't know, a look that seems like some kid drew it."

Misato looked at him and gave him a suspicious expression.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She asked him. "Kids draw robots because they have an active imagination, not because they want to be heroes or fly around facing giant monsters. But adults have more clarity than kids do when it comes to building robots."

"That's not something every kid these days does, though. Maybe a lot of this was so fifteen years ago, but not so much these days. Just saying."

"Yeah. These days, kids are into…whatever there is to be interested in these days. Cars, motorcycles, music, firearms, planes…"

"Speaking from recent experience?"

"Kensuke Aida is a military otaku. Toji Suzuhara is a basketball fan. Shinji may have aspirations to become a chef or even an honest police officer. Asuka could become a model if she wanted to. Rei is… Honestly, I don't know what Rei will do in her future. Most boys look at women and are aroused…except for Shinji; he sees a woman, he's unimpressed, attractive or not."

"I take it there weren't that many women where he ended up for a long time?"

"No, he told me there were women. One of the two people he met in that other dimension was a woman, and he hired her to help him find a way back. Any monetary material he found that could be used to pay her for her services to him, he gave to her and her brother."

Although when it came to Shinji, Misato had to respect the fact that Shinji's personal feelings for people, whether he knew them for a few days, a few weeks…or even a whole year…were part of the reason that he was able to do most of the things he could do with his Magiswords. It was hard for him to put his emotions aside and focus on what was necessary…or what was thought to be necessary. For Shinji, his emotions were not something he could just turn off and on on a whim whenever he felt like it or when people tell him to. Emotions were what made him, like everyone else, human, humane, alive, full of hope or something else of the sort.

"Do you think he ever thinks about where he was when he came back?" Kaji asks her.

"Shinji thinks about everything that has happened to him, whether it was being in another place far removed from one he has known little about for most of his life…or in the company of strangers that he turned to for help," she answers. "But there's probably one thing he'll be happy to stop having to think about."

"Which is?"

"His old man no longer being in charge of NERV."

-x-

His Hoversword couldn't perform well enough to get him this high up without his Blow Dryer Magisword, but he sometimes liked it up here in the air, high above the world in the clouds. Using his Butterfly Magisword in tandem with his Hoversword, he was able to lay back on his Hoversword as it floated high in the air, letting his thoughts wander for awhile. He thought about the Warriors, about Lyvsheria, Princess Zange, even Grup. Even if he was in a strange place that was like a fairytale brought to life, where science and sorcery were a common normality, he had grown to care about them in the five years he'd been around them in their world. If there came a day where he was able to go back there, even for just a little visit, however long that would've been, it would've been worth it, just to see them all again.

And then, there was Vambre.

But I can't let what never was become what drives me to do what I do, he thought as he sighs, looking over his Hoversword down at the Japanese nation. I care about Vambre, but I never allowed my feelings about her to escalate after saving her life with the Revival Magisword. We were just friends…and even if there was a chance that it could've become something more…we were all on different paths. The Warriors were mad about Magiswords, Princess Zange seemed like a social media follower and influencer, Ralphio was a greedy fiend that had the resources to get me started on my own Magisword collection, but he couldn't cheat me when he saw what I was capable of, and Noville… Noville was like anyone else that has desires and ambitions that stem from places of longing.

Shinji, when left to his own devices, had learned over time, especially when he had been stranded in another dimension, to be very perceptive of others. To look past people's actions and see the reasons behind them. It may have stemmed from having to look back at his own personal history and see it from the beginning with new eyesight; having his own Magisword that could replay his entire history to him over and over again helped him become enlightened by what he either understood, forgot about or didn't understand at all from the very beginning to begin with.

Ring-ring! He heard his phone rang, and he answered.

"Hello?" He asked.

"It's Asuka, Shinji," went Asuka's voice on the other end. "Where are you right now?"

"Let's just say that…my head's in the clouds right now," he answers her, being cryptic. "What's up with you?"

"I just got word from Misato about what happened at NERV. Your old man just got dismissed."

"What?"

"Dismissed. The people in charge of overseeing and funding NERV gave him his discharge papers and told him to hit the road. Basically, he was fired for something he did or didn't do. They put Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki in charge."

Shinji felt relief that his father was fired from NERV; without Lilith, what he or anyone else desired to befall the human race wouldn't transpire, and once the remaining Angels were defeated, the world would be safe from whatever fate was either perceived or suspected to occur. With his recently-acquired knowledge of events yet to transpire, he knew there were just two Angels left…and they'd be dealt with accordingly before they could cause more mayhem for the Japanese nation. He just hoped that they wouldn't come within a day of each other if they were massive; his Legendary Swordmecha Magisword wouldn't be helpful if he couldn't use it until its recharging period of twenty-four hours had come and gone.

"Where's Misato now?" He asked Asuka.

"She's on her way back to the apartment with Kaji. You should get back before they do, though."

"I'll be back in eight minutes."

He hung up and stood atop his Hoversword to head back to Misato's apartment. Keeping his presence in the air obscured as he descended down, he made sure that he was unseen by any prying eyes. With his father no longer in charge of NERV, he felt there was one less problem regarding the people that worked in the Geo-Front. One less problem, one less measure of grief, and his father was a harbinger of grief.

Setting down on the empty street a few blocks away from Misato's building, Shinji put his Hoversword away in his Magisword pouch and walked up the road to the building; even if he wasn't piloting the Eva, he still couldn't risk the possibility that Section Two agents were keeping watch over him or the building, so he had to make sure that he was too far away to attract any attention from anyone. He reached the elevator and pressed the button for the desired floor he wanted to go to as the door closed.

Father's been relieved of his authority, he thought, Mother can't or won't do anything while inside that abomination whose servitude I have freed myself from, Lilith is no longer around, which leaves only a few more issues left to resolve before everything else can fall into place. Endure it a little longer, Shinji. You just need to endure it all a little longer. You're rewriting your fate, escaping the unwanted legacy of your parents and their sick designs for the world. When it's all over, you can be whatever you want without having to live under their designs. I'd be content with being a simple cook than a scientist or politician, anyway. I'm not out to remake the world or wreck it.

Ding. The elevator reached his floor and he got off.

-x-

Fun. What was fun to one that never knew about it until it was shown in front of them? Fun was…whenever people were doing what made them smile, laugh or feel elation. And Rei…never knew about anything that could be anything like what occurred outside the school more than three days ago. Now, laying in her room, she pondered exactly what she experienced that day when school involuntarily let out earlier than expected for a surprise carnival that was unlike anything they had ever seen before.

Fun, she thought. People having fun. Screaming happily on strange rides. Eating food that isn't healthy. Winning things through games for either themselves or someone else. These are things I have never done before that day.

Then, she looked over to where she kept the discarded glasses of Gendo Ikari.

Not even with him, she accepted once she admitted it to herself.

Rei had never experienced fun until that day with Shinji and the others. It was, as strange as it was…the best time of her life. She went on rides, won a prize for herself, even had caramel popcorn after being told it wasn't meat. It was all better than what she had planned for later that day once school let out, and she was now hoping that one day…she could experience it all again.

-x-

"…Wow, Shinji," went Kaji as he was invited by Misato to eat dinner that night. "Where did you learn to cook this dish?"

"A recipe book," Shinji answered him, making sure Pen-Pen had plenty of fried fish. "I checked it out when I was at the library and decided to try my hand at it."

"I'm surprised that you were able to find the time to try a new recipe."

"Yeah, Shinji has had plenty of time now to catch up on many things," Asuka expressed. "He's actually been better off after he resigned from NERV. It's hard to believe that he was ever picked to be a pilot for the Eva when he's so much better at cooking."

"But he was able to achieve an acceptable synchronization ratio without any prior training. That's a remarkable feat."

"It's not really a remarkable feat if it was anticipated by people that expected nothing more than blind luck to save the day, Mr. Kaji," Shinji implied. "You can't force someone that has had no experience with something so monstrous and without any actual shred of heart to operate against a creature deemed a threat to the world that they only saw less than a day ago…like it's expected to be a cakewalk. That's just ridiculous and expecting everything to be alright when it really isn't. And that's what my father did that day. He took a gamble that was ridiculous and still had repercussions that he ignored. Sure, he and the whole of NERV got lucky that day, but it still caused me pain…and grief. Not something I'd wish on anyone that knew nothing about anything…except perhaps that man…because I'd like to see how he'd fare against a creature like that. Still, I'm relieved that I resigned. I'm finally able to take a step backwards and return to a semblance of the normality that I miss."

Kaji wasn't sure why, but it felt like any mention of NERV or the Eva now would just be provoking Shinji in a bad way, not something he really wanted to attempt. If this young man was this skilled in a kitchen, he feared to see exactly what else he was skilled at that wasn't piloting a cybernetic organism the size of a building. Instead, he wanted to ask Shinji something else.

"Why don't you tell us a little about this other world you ended up in?" He tried to suggest. "What was that place like while you were there?"

"Half the time, it was surreal and other times, it was like something out of a video game," Shinji explained. "But it was peaceful most of the time. It was quiet and the people were friendly…and helpful, too. I'm indebted to them for helping me find my way back."

"But, Shinji," Misato spoke, "what would you have done if you were unable to find a way back to this world?"

"What?!" Asuka questioned. "Oh, come on! Isn't it obvious what he would've done if he couldn't find a way to return to this world at all? He'd have no other alternative than to live among the people there."

That, while something both women knew Shinji had done to some degree as he worked with the Warrior siblings to find a way back, was something he would've had to do if there was none. He would've had to adapt to their culture, find similarities to what he did understand and move on from there. As far as they understood, his home while he was there was still around, decorated with all the things he acquired to pass the time and make it livable. And unlike anywhere in Rhyboflavin and the rest of Lyvsheria, Shinji's home was the only modern-looking one due to its zen architectural style, which was suited to his tastes due to his familiarity around a local setting.

"If I could go back and forth between here and there," he uttered, "I'd go back to the people that helped me get back here…just to give my thanks for everything they did."

"Say, what were the names of the people that helped you get back here?" Kaji asked him.

"Vambre and Prohyas Warrior. A crazy pair of siblings that were…the best pair of people I could've turned to for aid."

"Vambre and Prohyas? Warrior? Their last names are very…"

"Hey, you don't hear me complaining about them beyond their competency," Shinji defended the siblings. "People's names can have different meanings, not all that different from my last name. Ikari, meaning either 'anchor' or 'anger', depending on the circumstances. I prefer the former over the latter, though. I'm not recognizable when I feel nothing but anger."

Misato and Asuka hoped that Kaji would just drop the subject altogether; Shinji was very protective about the Warrior siblings and wouldn't let anyone, no matter who they were, make the mistake of disrespecting them too much when he had nothing but respect for them for helping him get back to this world.

"I just have one last question," he spoke. "What were they like when you were looking for a way back? I mean, what were they like when they were resting or enjoying time off?"

"Prohyas would play his Accordion…his accordion while Vambre would read these novels about this lady warrior that was the cause of her speaking with her accent."

"What kind of accent?"

"A British accent."

"You know of British accents?"

"Uh…och?"

-x-

"…So, what are your orders, Commander Fuyutsuki?" Ritsuko asked the new commander of NERV as they were inside the former commander's office.

"For now," Fuyutsuki told her, "just monitor the MAGI and be on the lookout for the Angels."

As Lilith and the Lance of Longinus were gone, there was no way to achieve Human Instrumentality, leaving the human race on a dead end road towards a gradual decline in their evolutionary prowess and so on. Even if they were without the Lance of Longinus, Lilith would've still been useless to SEELE; whoever caused this madness to befall them all knew enough about how to deal in severe damage to their ambitions. If it was the same people responsible for the mysterious robot that has interfered with their affairs, then this matter was only more difficult to deal with. Even after it seemed that SEELE exhausted every resource to ascertain every layer of every major company or agency that operated within Japan, there wasn't a soul in existence that was claiming to have anything to do with any advanced robotics research or development. There was nothing that even remotely came close to the robot that dealt with three Angels in ways that were what made superior to the Evangelions.

If this an act of the kami, Fuyutsuki wondered, they sure picked an inconvenient time to act out. I mean, this is beyond anything we thought we understood. Beyond even the Angels and Evas. It's as if…the mecha is divine intervention, some sort of penalty…to prevent us from trespassing into the realm of the deities.

"Uh, Commander Fuyutsuki, sir?" He heard Ibuki speak to him, and he turned to face her, seeing that she was holding a box of small items.

"Yes?" He questioned.

"I was ordered by Ikari to hold on to this box, but…should I dispose of the contents now that he has been relieved of his command?" She asked him.

"What is it?"

"Some items belonging to the Third Child. I believe he forgot about them when he left the base. I was assigned to clean out his locker and dispose of anything left behind, but I wasn't sure if he intentionally left these when he left the base. Should I dispose of them?"

Fuyutsuki examined the contents of the box and found that Shinji had some things behind when he resigned from piloting Unit-01. There was an old cassette player, a notepad, and even the letter that his father had sent him along with his ID card.

"No, make sure that the boy gets these back," he told her. "What he decides to do with them is his business."

"Understood, sir," she replied.

-x-

It was a habit, but Shinji liked cleaning his Magiswords whenever he felt like they were in need of a polish. Whether they were shrunk down to make it easier to carry them or at their true size, he felt a calming period when he applied a cleaning solution onto a cloth and spread it across the sword-like feature to clean them. Wiping the dirt and dust off of his Kunai Magisword, he thought about rewarding himself with another Hoversword joyride when he was done cleaning half of all of them; he had already finished cleaning twenty-six of them half an hour ago, so after he finished with this one, he'd be halfway finished with half his set.

Knock, knock, knock. A knocking came at his door.

"Shinji, are you awake?" He heard Misato ask him outside.

"Yes," he replied, and the door slid open. "Just cleaning up a little."

"I wanted…to apologize if Kaji made you uncomfortable during dinner."

"It's alright, really. People will question anything they want to, and it's up to those being asked to decide whether or not to answer. I only answered his questions without giving too much of anything away. It's still the truth, just not the whole truth."

"Still, I feel that he crossed the line when he disrespected the Warriors a little."

"The Warriors are used to being disrespected. It's just how they are. Before I showed up in their world, their clientele was low, being mostly just people they knew all the time. I was probably their best client when I hired them to help me get back here. Of course, we became friends over time. I don't know if they're even busy with anything now. I do miss them, though."

Misato could understand that, while there was nothing more to say, it was still a touchy subject when Shinji thought back to his time spent in Lyvsheria and had to adjust in case he was going to be there for the rest of his life. There was always the feeling of where he used to reside would be, in the depths of his heart, would be calling back to him, to entice him back once he was done doing what he had to do here. That was what Misato believed, deep down.

"So…what will you do now?" She asked him.

"After researching my own history of lost recollection and extracting more knowledge from the unknown than what I was supposed to be permitted to know by those that choose to withhold critical information that makes a situation worse," he responded to her, "I will deal with the last two Angels…and then remove all trace of the Evangelion so that nobody will ever be tempted to misuse it for whatever reason they choose."

"And after that?"

"After that… Whatever else there is to be done that will not end the world."

-x-

It was a terrible decision the Committee made towards him, but it was not like he could just file a complaint against them to get reinstated. If SEELE saw fit to relieve Gendo of his command of NERV, then it was something Gendo had to accept. Although, personally, he blamed Shinji for his dismissal from NERV as he walked around his Tokyo-3 apartment; no matter how he was told or given the details regarding the matter, Gendo couldn't see the issues involving the Angels being resolved any better than with the Third Child being ordered to pilot Unit-01 until he could achieve his goal. The Angels would've been dealt with the right way, and he'd have all that he wanted. But now, even as he sat at his desk in his room, Gendo pondered the only other recourse he felt he had left to do, which was to get back at the Third Child.

"He resigns and thinks he can just walk away from how serious this is," he mutters to himself as he tries to research what the Japan Heavy Chemical Industries was doing in the agricultural business after the boy returned and was found by them. "He thinks he can just go and…get on with his life because he doesn't like the way certain orders are stated and expected to be followed? Oh, he is so wrong. He doesn't get to walk away and not expect for there to be repercussions. There are always repercussions!"

But try as he might, all he could find was that the company that tried to retire NERV was just suggested by the boy to get into the agricultural market to compensate for the fact that NERV was an agency that was overfunded due to the belief that the Evangelion program was all that stood between them and the end of the world as they understood it, since the people higher up in the food chain of hidden wealth and authority acted as though the doomsday clock had its own snooze button that didn't apply to them, and people across the world were left with fewer resources because of Second Impact and heavy industry taking whatever was left to take. For a fourteen-year-old boy (or rather, a nineteen-year-old boy, given that he was in another dimension for five years), Gendo found Shinji to be smarter than he seemed, having potential to do anything, but no drive to do as he was told to, anymore…and it angered him. Smart enough to make suggestions to a company on the verge of bankrupt, saving them their business and reputation to the public, but not smart enough to accept that what NERV was doing was all to save the human race? The boy was either good at playing dumb and complicated, or he was just plain dumb most of the time because of how he had to grow up in a post-Second Impact world with very little adult supervision.

"You're hiding something," he suspected of Shinji, deciding to forgo learning anything about Japan Heavy Chemical Industries. "Nobody hides anything unless it's invaluable to them."

-x-

Training with the bokken was different this time. It felt like the practice weapon was heavier than it hadn't been before. Even as he swung it in front of himself against the dummy, Shinji felt like he was carrying a weight he hadn't had before, and it was very bothersome to him. Gripping the handle tighter, he swung it against the dummy and managed to break both with mere force.

"Oh, great," he expressed, upset that he broke the bokken and practice dummy. "When this ends, I want to lay my hands down of all violence."

The first thing he wanted to do tomorrow if nothing else happened was to get a replacement bokken and practice dummy; not many people these days went shopping at a martial arts shop in Tokyo-3, and the shopkeeper was of advance age, just trying to support himself through an honest business. And Shinji really should've gotten backups of the bokken and dummy if he was going to be aggressive in his practice time hitting a target.

"Sometimes, it's not a good idea to purchase secondhand goods," he heard Asuka say to him as he turned to face her on the roof, still holding his broken bokken.

"That actually depends upon the level of your practice actions," he responded, and gathered the pieces of the broken dummy. "There's soft power and there's hard power. Apparently, hard power is just…rough."

Asuka came over and picked up a piece of the broken bokken on the ground.

"Tell me," she went, "what Kaji said during dinner last night… He crossed a line with you, didn't he?"

"No. No… Well, yes… Not intentionally…but, yes…he did cross a line…but it's okay, really. He didn't ask questions and got the whole truth from me. Just shades of the truth."

"No offense, Shinji, but you look like you need a day off to enjoy a pastime that not many people these days do."

"Have you even wandered around Tokyo-3? It's not a big city, but there's nothing much to…do around here without improvisation. Tokyo-3 is just a…city devoid of a soul that people either try to live in or commute between one place or another. Any people that do live here are either from the NERV majority or the minority of other professions. Kami know the teachers at school are from the minority professions."

"I heard there's an aquarium nearby in another city. How far would it take us to get there on your Hoversword if we used it?"

"Depending on weather conditions, the location of where this aquarium is and how tenacious we can get when wanting to get somewhere."

Asuka chuckled and told him where the aquarium was…and Shinji sighed as he told her which Magiswords could be used to mask their potential routes to the aquarium and from Tokyo-3.

"I know I've only used one of those swords of yours once, but I never understood the whole concept of using them. There's so much complexity and not so much complexity in them. How do you do it, Shinji?" Asuka questioned.

"In the end…it all comes down to you, Asuka. It all comes down to whether or not you believe in what you have in your hands…being able to do what it is believed to be able to do," he responded. "It all has to come down to your sense of belief. Whatever you know about whatever it is that you can comprehend, whether it's energy, or old scriptures from the past that still hold sway over the present…or just the strength of a simple belief."

He then reached into his pants' left pocket and pulled out a Magisword he had with him. It was his Chainsaw Magisword. Then, it enlarged into its true size in his hands.

"Just hold onto the hilt," he instructed her, holding out the sword to her. "There's no button, no switch, no way to turn it on or off like a flashlight. You're the button. You're the switch."

He stepped back and waited for her to do something with it.

Asuka held up the tool, just letting her belief that it was a chainsaw that actually worked run through her mind.

Suddenly…the chainsaw started up, slowly at first, but then was at full power, prepared to cut through whatever it was to be used on.

"Whoa!" She gasped, still holding onto the hilt. "Shinji, are you doing this?!"

"That's not me, Asuka," he told her. "That's all you."

Asuka couldn't believe it!

-x-

"…He didn't seem like he knew anything about anything relating to the mecha that appeared," Kaji informed Ritsuko while they were drinking at a bar.

"Yeah, that'd be too coincidental," the faux-blond replied; even after Gendo was let go of, Ritsuko still carried out an order from him that was to ascertain any information that the Third Child might've withheld from NERV after his return from another dimension…and so far, there was nothing that he had already informed them of. "Then again, five years over there is long enough to learn deception and compartmentalization."

"I don't think it's compartmentalization or trying to hide anything from anyone, Ritsuko," Kaji claimed. "I don't think the boy really knows anything beyond what he was told about and became disillusioned with after the Unit-03 incident. To have nearly been involved in an incident where someone almost got killed because someone else decided to view their life as being irrelevant would make anyone that can't view even one life as meaningless rethink everything they know."

"Did you, by any chance, ask him about the Terminal Dogma situation?"

Since they were at a bar and most of the patrons were already inebriated and there was music playing or a sports event on several televisions, it was safe for them to talk about NERV-related business without someone eavesdropping.

"No," he answered her. "If that's classified, he'd have no knowledge about it, whatsoever. Why risk asking him a question that he'd have no answer to?"

"It never hurts to make sure."

"I did ask about his father being removed from command, though, and he didn't seem all that surprised or even relieved to know that he was dismissed. I mean, he did for a while, but then he moved on to other things. "I have moved past my nonexistent relationship with that brute of a man that has no remorse for any of his thoughts or actions, so whatever befalls him is his problem", he told me. I think that if he has lost any interest in trying to repair his relationship with his father, he has lost any interest in what his father does or has to do now that he no longer has any authority over NERV."

"It's not like their relationship was ever going to be mended to begin with. These two are on two separate paths going down two separate roads. It is impossible to see these two ever being able to have a civil conversation about anything beyond what is related to NERV or just to be friendly towards one another."

"And there's no chance of the boy returning to pilot the Eva?"

"None. He has walked away completely. Although, his father was convinced that he would return later, that didn't occur. The Third Child has really…severed his ties with the Eva and moved on with his life, regardless of the fact that there are still Angels to face."

"But he raised an interesting question regarding that factor," Kaji told her. "The fact that we don't even know how many Angels there are out there or when they'll show up means that NERV can't guarantee that people will have a future that is free of them at all. Just how many are there out there? Twenty? Fifty? Hundreds? Thousands? Whatever the number, Shinji raised an inescapable truth regarding them, and it was how no matter how many there are, there's no guarantee that any of the pilots NERV has right now or ever will have in the future can just keep it up and be expected to put their lives on hold just to pilot a weapon the size of a building against bizarre organisms that they know nothing about. No future has been promised beyond the current day. Shinji wasn't going to continue living like that, another reason to why he resigned. He wanted to return to what he knew he had control over in his life and rebuild his typical routine. He already knows what he wants to be when he graduates."

"Oh?"

"A chef. His parents were scientists…and he doesn't want to be like them at all. How many kids these days have scientists for parents and they want to be as far removed from them as possible by being…athletes or musicians or something as trivial as…essential workers?"

Ritsuko couldn't answer that question. It wasn't an easy one to answer to begin with. There were a lot of people that came from scientific backgrounds and either went into the same career as their parents or went down a different route, either out of a drive to do as they desired or to escape from their pedigree. If Shinji wanted to be a chef, it had to be because he wanted to escape his pedigree, as well.

"There was something, though," she heard Kaji say. "He was a little defensive about the two people he hired to help him find his way back here. I don't know, maybe he developed a bit of a crush on the woman he hired over there, but had to keep his priorities set on returning to this dimension due to a sense of obligation."

"A woman by the name of Vambre Warrior?"

"I take it you've heard of her from Katsuragi?"

"Shinji confided in her, and she mentioned her to me once. Apparently, there was an incident where the woman almost died…and Shinji practically had a breakdown that was considerably violent towards the creature that nearly killed her."

"I guess that would explain Katsuragi saying that he's not really himself when he becomes violent, necessarily or unnecessarily."

"Fear and rage turn people into unpredictable situations that we have no control over."

Kaji then downed the last of his second beer and paid his tab.

"Shinji may not be on the combat roster, anymore, but it's probably for the best," he told Ritsuko. "From what Katsuragi told me, every time he's placed in a situation where he's forced to either fight back or give up, he loses a little more of himself to whatever's in his way, whether it's a monster or another person that impedes him. The worst thing about dealing with monsters is how easy it is to become one, and once you're there, it's hard to turn back."

Leaving her alone, Ritsuko was left to ponder just how much of what she learned tonight was to be shared with Gendo…and how much of this information was practically useless to someone like him.

None of it relates to the mecha or what happened to the Angels, she thought.

-x-

"…Ah, I didn't think I'd be seeing you again so soon, young man," an elderly shopkeeper uttered as Shinji stepped into the store where he acquired his bokken and practice dummy. "You look different from the last time I saw you."

"Yeah, I figured I'd look a little different," Shinji responded, bowing his head to the man. "I need a new bokken and dummy."

The shopkeeper looked at Shinji's hands and noticed the subtle bruising on them.

"Something tells me you have a lot on your mind," he told the young man as he led him to where the bokken were displayed. "What crisis are you in? What is your battlefield?"

"My…unresolved issues with people I can't resolve them with," he explained cryptically.

"Those issues that go unresolved are often left to fester in the mind…until they become a heavy weight on the soul."

"As much as I wish to resolve most of those issues, some of the people I can't resolve them with are…not people I can forgive without reopening old wounds that didn't really heal. My relationships with two of them…are ones I feel will not be mended…and there's another person that is not even here…and it's hard to speak with them sometimes."

The shopkeeper picked up a new bokken for Shinji and expressed, "The only one that can decide how these relationships will progress, for better or for worse, is the one that seeks to change them. Most often, that person is yourself. Other times, it is the people you seek to change your relationships with."

"To be the dragon or the phoenix. For a time, I wanted to be the phoenix…but realized that I got tired of the very thought of living, over and over again, content with just the one life that should end when all is said and done." Shinji revealed, and asked for two more bokken.

"So, the dragon, which embodies renewed vigor towards life."

"And wisdom and redemption from the darkness."

"May you find your path with renewed sense of tenacity."

"Thank you."

Shinji left the shop with his new bokken and practice dummy. However, he was unaware of the fact that he was being watched by someone that had a cold stare towards him.

In his car, parked across the street, Gendo watched as Shinji carried a large, wooden box on his box as he left a martial arts shop, and then got out when the boy was far away to notice him as he went to the shop.

"Welcome, how may I help you today?" The shopkeeper greeted as he looked at Gendo.

"I'd like to know what the boy that left a few minutes ago purchased from here," Gendo told the shopkeeper, causing him to become tense.

To be continued…

A/N: I am hoping to put the aquarium in the next chapter, but the cliffhanger here will probably leave you wondering what will happen to the shopkeeper that provided Shinji with his bokken and dummy. But tell me, does it seem like Shinji has unchecked anger that is resurfacing due to people like Kaji unintentionally stirring up feelings in him that he already has difficulty keeping in check? Also, as I put it down, Shinji in this story doesn't want to be like a phoenix when he'd rather be a dragon that only has one life and he stated, according to Kaji, that NERV doesn't know how many Angels there are, which he really does know how many there are left, and nobody that already pilots the Evas have no future promised to them, and so Shinji walks away to retake his life and have a future that is his own. Until the next chapter, stay healthy and sane.