Disclaimer: I still don't own Megamind and am still not affiliated with Dreamworks in anyway.

AN: I'd like to thank the awesome KBJones for helping me get this chapter started. Because this chapter almost wasn't written, the events were just going to be alluded to in later chapters. I think it turned out well, and there are a few parts that I'm glad I was able to add to the overall story.

Chapter 9

Roxanne smiled as she stepped out of her car. She hadn't actually seen it since the last time she had been kidnapped, but wasn't at all surprised that Megamind and Minion had recovered it and stored it in the lair. Megamind drove, since she had to be blindfolded as they left. He was currently using the illusion of dark-haired coffee-shop Sam in his work coveralls. He glanced around quickly as he shut the car door on the driver side. When he was satisfied that no one was looking, he slipped the keys into a pocket… somewhere…

Where did he put those keys? She couldn't see through the illusion, of course, but it's not like his villain outfit has room for pockets. She shook off the thought and linked arms with the disguised supervillain.

"You know… I've never been here during normal operating hours," he admitted to her.

"Does that mean you've been here during normal closed hours," she asked half-playfully, but curious too.

"Yes," he answered matter-of-factly. "But that was years ago, before we became self-sufficient. And before the rise of internet commerce."

"It hasn't changed much. But you know, the lights will be on and there will be people expecting you to pay for things," she replied and nudged him a little.

"Yes, yes," he waved off with his free hand.

Roxanne noticed a young blonde woman wearing jeans and a black babydoll t-shirt talking on her cell phone leaving through the same doors they were heading towards. She tilted her head a little in her direction and asked Megamind, "What about her?"

Megamind glanced in her direction quickly and replied, "She will do. Stop walking and look through your purse for something." They stopped walking and she did as he asked. As the woman neared them, Megamind pressed a button on his watch. When she passed them, he turned and did something else she couldn't see. "Ok, I got it," he said as he turned back around. She closed up her purse and looked at him again.

"So, where are you going to change?" she asked.

"I think we should be able to find a secluded spot inside. Shall we?" he asked and presented his arm again. She placed her hand in the crook of his elbow and they entered the department store. Once they entered he quickly looked around as she pulled him towards a couple dress racks.

"Ok, here," she told him as she let go of his arm. "No one's around and these racks are tall enough to hide you."

"Miss Ritchi, if I didn't know better, I would think you're embarrassed to be seen with me," he said with a teasing smile.

"It's your plan," she reminded him. "I'm just helping. And apparently playing lookout," she teased but did glance around to check for anybody. There was a flash of blue light and when she looked back, there was the college-aged woman with longish blonde hair crouched down next to the dresses instead of coffee-shop Sam.

Megamind stood up and she was surprised to see that this new illusion was slightly shorter than the previous one. It could change height too? He brushed down his illusory clothes self-consciously. "Well, how do I look?" he asked in his borrowed voice then frowned thoughtfully. "I must admit that I'm not used to hearing my voice at quite this pitch and timber," he added, probably just to hear himself talk some more.

"You look fine. And, I've heard you get even higher pitched than that in your normal voice," she said with a smile.

"Nonsense," he replied quickly then continued, "And if you did, then it wasn't for as long of a duration."

"Uh huh. Come on, Megan. Let's go buy you a purse then we can get started." She grabbed one of his hands and pulled him after her before dropping it again.

When he caught up and started walking beside her he asked, "What is with everyone assigning me a name? First Sam and now Megan. Technically, there isn't any reason we couldn't keep the 'Sam' moniker."

"Except if I start to slip I can still catch myself, Mega-n," she said with a slight giggle. "Ok, purses should be just behind the escalators." She took in the outfit he appeared to be wearing and said, "I would suggest something casual since you're in jeans and a t-shirt."

"I'll concede to your fashion advice, Roxanne," he replied magnanimously as they entered the purse section of the store.

It took much longer than Roxanne would have thought for Megamind to pick out a one-time-use only purse. Especially once she pointed out the anti-theft pins that they all had in an effort to keep him from inadvertently setting off the store alarm. He then opened nearly every purse to try to find one that might be missing the tag. Just to be stubborn.

"I thought you liked that black one with the studs. Just get that one. It's big enough for all your stuff and it can pull off casual," she suggested, hoping to move him along.

"I guess…" he replied while still sounding unsure, "You could have told me about these white bar things. It would have been a simple matter to bring or design a tool to get them free."

She sighed, "I didn't think about it. It's just part of shopping at the mall, and I think some of them have ink. Most department stores have something like that on all their merchandise."

"It's incredibly frustrating," he griped, but picked up the purse she mentioned.

"Only if you're being a rebel," she chided gently because another person was now within earshot.

"Well, of course," he grinned at her and started walking to a checkout. They managed to buy the purse without any issue. Except that Megamind was entirely too interested in the little machine that removes the anti-theft bars. He shielded the side of his body against the counter when he reached in his pocket to get his money to prevent anyone from seeing the illusion 'glitch,' as he put it. Once he acquired his purse and was in a secluded place, she spotted him putting his de-gun inside.

Eventually, they made their way to the woman's section and began browsing through the clothes. Roxanne was looking for new summer clothes that would look nice. Most of hers were out of date, or wasn't the right tone for 'tropical.'

"Try this on, Roxanne," Megamind tells her, holding out a stylishly cut black leather jacket with a few decorative silver studs accenting the shoulders. She's surprised that the high-end department store would even carry something so punk on its racks, but isn't surprised that Megamind had picked it out.

"That's more your style than mine," she answers, smiling.

"Oh, come on, just for me," he wheedles. "You don't have to buy it, I just want to see you in it."

"Oh, all right," she gives in and slides her arms into the jacket. Then she spins to give her disguised companion the full effect.

"You look stunning, my dear."

"Thanks, Megan," she answers, emphasizing the alias to remind him of who he's pretending to be.

Chagrined, he opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted before he can speak.

"Hey, Roxie," Wayne Scott calls from across the next section over, an area devoted to women's business wear. For once he's dressed in something besides white spandex. He's wearing light khaki trousers with a polo shirt and his arms are hung with half a dozen shopping bags from various mall stores.

Roxanne's expression betrays surprise and she glances nervously towards the disguised supervillain at her side. But she recovers quickly, "Hi, Wayne. I didn't expect to see you here. What are you doing in the women's department?"

He ducks his head a bit in embarrassment, "I'm with my mom," he jerks his prominent chin to the side, gesturing towards the distant checkout where Lady Scott is obliviously chatting with a saleswoman about fashion and the materials used in this year's summer collection. "Using my super-strength to carry her bags for her."

"Aren't you supposed to be patrolling the city?"

He shrugs, "I'm still listening for trouble. It'll only take me half a second to change clothes if I need to go rescue somebody. But it's been pretty slow today." He grins, "And you haven't been kidnapped, so hopefully Megamind isn't preparing an attack on the city just yet."

Megamind, safe behind his projected mask, backs slowly away, pretending to be interested in a nearby rack of clothing, but glancing nervously at the his plain-clothed nemesis.

"And who is your friend?" Wayne asks Roxanne.

"Oh, this is Megan," she answers, proceeding with the obligatory introductions politeness requires. "Megan, I'm sure you know Wayne, even out of uniform."

"Of course," Megan/Megamind answers, "Everyone knows you, Mister Scott."

"Please, call me Wayne," he instructs, "Mister Scott is much too formal. How come I haven't met you before? I was sure I'd met all of Roxie's friends."

"Oh, I don't know," he answers, "I've been around."

"Must not have been around much or I would have noticed."

"Maybe you're not as observant as you think. Roxanne and I have worked together for years."

"Oh, so you work for the TV station," he guesses. Megan/Megamind smiles, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with the statement. Turning his attention back to Roxanne for a moment he says, "Wow, Roxie, that jacket is a new look on you."

"Yes, well, I was only trying it on for fun," Roxanne said, taking it off and returning it to the hanger, "Megan wanted to see me in it."

"It fit well, but I don't see you as the black leather and spikes type," Wayne observed.

"Oh, I don't know," Megan/Megamind cut in with a smirk, "I think she looks amazing in leather."

"You like leather?" Wayne asks.

Before Megan/Megamind can respond, Roxanne interrupts, "Don't mind her, Wayne. She's never quite outgrown her goth phase. She'd be wearing leather, spikes, and black eyeliner if she thought I'd let her go out in public with me like that."

Lady Scott had finished her conversation with the salesperson and started heading their way. Roxanne stifled a groan when she noticed. Lady Scott was too much like her own mother for comfort.

"Roxanne. It's so good to see you again," Lady Scott greeted her as she came to stand next to Wayne.

"You too, Mrs. Scott," she replied while deliberately leaving off that obnoxious title like she always did. Roxanne didn't believe that Lady Scott had the right to insist everyone call her and her husband, 'Lord and Lady' simply because they were the wealthiest family in town. She noticed that Megamind gave her a quick smile of approval at the same time that Lady Scott pursed her lips in disapproval before studiously ignoring her. At least she was easy to deal with.

"Wayne, who's your friend?" she asked and gestured towards Megan/Megamind. Wayne opened his mouth to reply, but she continued on, "You should invite her around for dinner this Friday. You're a very pretty girl," she changed her focus back to Megan/Megamind. "Perhaps you could do something with your hair Friday, hmm?" Megamind and Roxanne exchanged a quick glance and Roxanne found that she had to look down and bite her lip to keep from sniggering. "Well, Wayne, I don't want to intrude. Ask her out and maybe you'll have better luck than usual. I'll be in shoes when you're done," she finished and walked away.

The trio she left behind was either embarrassed or amused for one reason or another. "Sorry about that…" Wayne muttered. Then he cleared his throat, "So…Megan? Have any plans Friday night?"

Megan/Megamind's eyes widened in shock and he turned his face away. Roxanne had to cover a sudden laugh with a fake cough at his reaction.

"Yeah, I… uh…. have to wash my hair," Megan/Megamind replied wryly, seeing the humor in the situation.

"We don't have to do that dinner, we could do something else. What night are you free?" Wayne pressed. Megamind glanced quickly over at Roxanne and his lips twitched when he caught sight of her broad smile.

Megan/Megamind turned his attention back to Wayne and said, "I'm flattered, Mr. Scott, I really am. But I'm not really interested. I already have a girlfriend."

"A girlfriend?" he parrots, a bit confused, then, "Oh! Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize." Then he notices the smirk Megan/Megamind aims at Roxanne and a surprisingly insightful conclusion occurs to him. "You and Roxie? You're... Oh, well... that's... great... Congratulations. I uh... I hope you're happy together."

Megan/Megamind reaches out to take Roxanne's hand possessively in his own and answers with an evil smirk, "We are."

Roxanne, looking a bit stunned, doesn't deny it and just smiles sheepishly at her former, for-public boyfriend. She shrugs, "Well, now you know."

"So, Roxie, how long have you known that you were... um... into girls?" Wayne asked curiously.

"Not very long at all," Roxanne answers with a glance down at her hand clasped in Megamind's disguised one before looking back at his disguised face that still held that evil smirk. Wanting to wipe that smirk off his face and get back at him, she leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. And, of course, it felt like she was kissing someone else because of the way the hard-light hologram worked. That was one of the reasons she didn't want to kiss him while he was wearing a disguise, but the gob-smacked look on his borrowed face when she pulled away was worth it.

"Wayne, we'll let you get back to your mother. We have some more shopping to do. Come on, sweetie," she pulled on Megamind's hand to get him moving as they walked past a speechless, and slightly flustered, Wayne.

They left that particular store and stopped to sit on a bench by a nearby fountain inside the mall. "Thanks, genius. Now he thinks I'm a lesbian."

He shrugs, "I can't help it that he came to an erroneous conclusion. And besides, at least he'll leave both of us alone for now." He smirked and said, "That kiss didn't exactly persuade him otherwise."

She laughed and said, "You were getting just a little too pleased with yourself. I thought it was the best way to bring you down a peg or two."

"By kissing me in front of your fake boyfriend?" he asked with a smile. "I think you may have miscalculated."

"Hey, it worked at the time, and I didn't hear any complaints," she nudged his shoulder with hers.

"My dear, Roxanne, that is one activity that I will never complain about," he replied and clasped her hand once again.

She glanced back up at his face and was momentarily surprised seeing a woman's face looking back at her, even though she just heard the feminine voice. "Geeze, you need to make me some illusion-piercing glasses or something. I keep expecting to see you, but then I run face-first into your disguise. It's disorienting." He chuckled in response. She stood and pulled him to his feet. "Well, let's go. We've still got shopping to do."

"Lead the way," he said and gestured towards some nearby stores. She smiled and pulled him along after her.

A few hours later and they were sitting in the food court with lunch in front of them. They didn't have any bags, because Megamind had dehydrated them soon after they were acquired. He claimed that he was only doing his duty by 'carrying' her bags for her. He stored the resulting blue cubes in his purse along with a few items that he dehydrated for himself and Minion. At first, she was going to say something, but decided against it. As long as he was paying for her purchases, that was enough of a compromise.

"What about him?" she gestured with a french fry at a guy in his thirties heading towards them on his way past their table next to the main walkway.

"He's suitable. Remember what to do?" Megan/Megamind asked.

"I think so," she replied as she popped the fry into her mouth. "You don't think anyone will notice the light?" she asked as she brought her wrist with Minion's watch up in front of her.

"It's relatively bright in here. The light grid should go unnoticed," he replied.

When the guy drew closer, she pressed a button on the side of the watch and was only able to see the blue grid of light as it swept up the guy because she was looking for it. When the light seemed to stop, she let go of the button and looked over at Megamind. "Did it work?" she asked.

He reached out a hand to her and she placed her wrist in his grip. He turned the watch to face him and smiled. "Yep! See the light here?" he pointed at a tiny light that was easy to lose in the busy watch face. "That indicates the last scan was successful."

"That was easy," she commented and sipped at her pop. "Should I grab more?"

He shrugged, "If the opportunity arises. I believe our primary objective is obtaining you new clothes, however."

This time she shrugged, "That doesn't mean that we can't multitask."

Once they finished lunch, they loitered at the table for another half hour or so. They spent the time people-watching and scanning images into the watches as people walked near them.

Soon they meandered into another department store and Megamind spotted the hardware section before Roxanne could locate the swimsuits.

"Let's have a look over there, Roxanne," he said and headed towards the power tools before she could say anything. She gave the back of his head a tolerant smile and hurried to catch up to him.

"Anything in particular you're in the market for?" she asked as he picked up the display model of a cordless drill.

"Oh, nothing specific," he admitted while pulling the trigger. "But I could always use another drill. And occasionally there may be something else they're selling that I could use."

Before Roxanne could reply, she noticed an employee turn the corner and head towards them. She saw him grimace slightly when he noticed the two apparent ladies in the aisle. Megamind was busy balancing a drill in each hand apparently comparing their weight.

"Can I help you ladies find something?" he asked with a lightly condescending tone in his voice. "Perhaps you would like to try this 3.6 volt model? It's lighter and adjustable so you can access hard to reach places. It will also fit more comfortably in your smaller hand," he suggested.

Megamind had turned to look at him, and his brows furrowed the longer the associate talked. He spun to face Roxanne causing the blonde hair he currently sported to be a suitable substitute for his cape as it flared behind him, purposely turning his back to the worker.

"Is he seriously talking to me?!" he asked her incredulously and poked a thumb over his shoulder to indicate the employee.

"Well, Megan, you're the one looking at power tools," she reminded him of his current disguise.

"Megan… right…" he repeated thoughtfully to himself, "Just to clarify… the condescend –shion is merely because I'm currently a woman and he is under the impression that I don't understand my power needs and simply assumes that I would find a drill that would barely insert a screw into a piece of wood more preferable than the more powerful twenty volts he witnessed me holding?"

Roxanne gave him a half-smile and replied, "Yeah, that's the gist of it, sister."

"I see…" he said slowly and turned back to the employee that was still looking sure of himself despite Megamind not lowering his voice when speaking to Roxanne, "I'm afraid that a measly 3.6 volt drill won't provide the torquing power that is required to construct my metallic, diabolical-" Roxanne cleared her throat in warning and Megamind continued with only a very slight hesitation, "-sculptures. It appears that I will be better suited by doing my own browsing rather than accepting your assistance."

"Now sweetheart, we both know that you get your boyfriend to do all the hefty work. For hanging pictures and assembling a premade bookshelf, this little one is all you'll need. Shall I ring you up?" he went on, oblivious to what Megan/Megamind just told him.

Roxanne wasn't surprised at all when Megamind handed her the purse he was using and said, "Roxanne, could you check that the course is clear?"

"Yeah, alright," she agreed and walked to the end of the aisle to check for other customers. She didn't know what he had in mind, but she was glad that she held the purse with the de-gun.

"Tell me," Megamind asked the sales associate, "is anyone else working in this department with you today?"

"No, I'm the only one here for another couple hours yet."

"Clear," Roxanne interrupted and positioned herself so she could keep a lookout and still see what Megamind's response was going to be.

"Ah! Excellent! It appears that today is your lucky day," Megamind said with a slightly manic smile that didn't quite fit on his currently feminine face. In a smooth motion that was almost too quick to follow, he twisted the watch to reveal his true appearance, drew his de-gun from his holster and pointed the business end towards the rude employee. Roxanne blinked and looked into the purse he handed her to discover nothing but a pile of blue cubes and the pocket where he was keeping his cash. He must have slipped his gun out before he handed the purse to her. "Today is the day," Megamind went on, "that Megamind, incredibly handsome criminal genius and Master of all Villainy, teaches you a personal lesson in courtesy." The manic grin was still on his face and managed to make him look every bit the supervillain.

The employee's eyes had widened to the size of dinner plates and he paled visibly. Megamind cocked the hammer on the de-gun and moved closer to the hapless employee. A wet spot appeared on the front of his trousers which was soon followed by the acrid scent of urine.

"You never know who is shopping in your store, so everyone should be treated with the same courtesy. Now repeat after me. 'I will not discriminate against any potential customers,'" Megamind said in a quietly threatening voice. Roxanne checked the aisles on either side to make sure they were still clear.

"Please… please don't hurt me…" the employee whimpered.

"No, that's not quite what I ordered you to repeat," Megamind said with a hard edge to voice. "Let me use smaller words. Maybe those you will understand." His voice got a little colder and more dangerous, "Now. Repeat. After. Me. 'I will treat everyone with respect.'"

"I…I…will-treat-everyone-with-respect," he rushed out in a single breath.

"Very good. I have hope for humanity yet. You had better hope your coworkers can follow orders better than you, or I'm afraid you're in for a very long wait," Megamind replied just before a beam of blue light emerged from his de-gun. When the light cleared, there was a blue cube standing where the employee used to be.

"Not that he didn't deserve it, but wasn't that just a little overboard?" Roxanne asked dryly from her lookout position.

He twirled the de-gun once and holstered it on his hip in one practiced motion. "Perhaps. But I'd like to think that I taught him a… life-lesson…"

"He won't forget it anytime soon, that's for sure. Someone's coming," she told him as she spotted a couple heading their way.

"I really should clean out the area since he is in charge. Minion has been wanting a new shop-vac," he said as he once again twisted the watch face. This time, the hologram attempted to flicker to life, but finally resolved into the supervillain again. He flexed his gloved hand with a frown then tried again.

"Hurry," she hissed towards him while keeping her attention on the people coming closer.

"It's malfunctioning! Hand me Minion's!" he hissed quietly and rushed over to her to help remove the bulky watch from her wrist.

Their hands fumbled over each other in their hurry to get the watch off, but all their efforts were hindered by too many fingers. She lightly slapped at his hands so she could get control of the situation and remove the watch quicker. "Stop. Let go!" she whispered harshly as she swatted at him and kept an eye out. Thankfully he pulled his hands away and she was able to undo the band. Then she thrust the watch at him and he quickly took it and strapped it on. He turned the watch face and blinked into an image of… himself. "No good!" she told him as she began to share his panic. The other customers were only a couple aisles away and were still heading towards them. "Hide!" she prompted.

The last thing she wanted was for today to turn into a debacle. They were parked on the other side of the mall. And, of course, one of his inventions would fail when they needed it to work! Even if it would be slightly amusing to see the supervillain in all his evil regalia stride through the mall, now just wasn't the time. He didn't have any backup besides her and she didn't have anything with her that could help.

She noticed a relieved look cross his face before he twisted the watch face again and blinked into brown-haired coffee-shop Max in work coveralls just a moment before the other customers crossed in front of the aisle they were occupying. Roxanne breathed a sigh of relief and gave them a brief nod before turning back to Megamind.

"That… was close. What happened?" she asked. Megamind was inspecting his watch, presumably to find the problem.

"Application testing," he murmured while still examining the watch. "I underestimated the battery drain the hologram causes during an extended duration. It was the turning it off then back on that did it. The battery couldn't handle the additional power surge." He glanced around and continued, "I think I can fix the issue with what's available here. Could you find me an outlet, Roxanne?"

"Why don't you fix it when we get back to your workshop?" she suggested, but he was already off on a shopping trip of his own.

"It really will only take a couple minutes, my dear," he assured her and continued to pull some items from their packaging. Seeing that he wouldn't let it rest, she started looking for an out of the way outlet and picked up the cubed employee on the way.

"What do you want to do with him?" she asked and held up the blue cube.

"Place it at the employee desk and leave a note that says to add water if they really want to. Supposedly his relief won't be here for a couple hours yet," he suggested while looking intently at their battery selection.

She sighed and grabbed a nearby ball-cap advertising a tractor company and put it on. No need letting the cameras around the checkout station get a clear view of whom exactly was leaving a blue cube by the register. She took a piece of paper from her notepad she always kept in her purse and scribbled a note to 'just add water.' A minute later and the job was done. She replaced the hat from where she got it and meandered over to Megamind in a secluded corner who was just closing up the watch, even if it had a couple wires coming out of it that wasn't there earlier.

He somehow sensed her approaching and turned to face her with a smile. "Ok, fixed. For now. I'll make more permanent adjustments later. It shouldn't have any problems lasting the rest of the day."

He glanced around, quickly taking in his surroundings and removed Minion's watch handing it to her. Then he strapped on his watch and twisted the watch face. This time it blinked into 'Megan,' and he smiled.

He drew his de-gun giving it a little spin before leaving it pointing up in the air. His smile turned slightly evil and he said, "Let's go shopping."

AN2: Fun fact: I looked up the soda-pop-coke map to see what the common terminology was for the Michigan region before having Roxanne take a sip with her lunch. After I initially typed 'coke' of course. Regional differences, huh? I also really struggle to not type out the word "Ya'll"…