Imperfect Metamorphosis

by TakerFoxx

It's the first day of spring, and Cirno and her friends are once again up to no good! But after stealing a strange box from Marisa's house, they soon find themselves over their heads as they discover some things are meant to remain locked up.

28. The Storm, Part 1

The Storm, Part 1

The Calm

Well, this is…different.

It certainly is unexpected. But while these surroundings are perplexing, they are not unpleasant.

You are standing on a white stone path, which cuts through a magnificent garden. Lining the path on both sides are two lines of marble statues, all of them of young girls in filmy dresses. Some are depicted standing, some are sitting, some are running, playing, walking, talking, laughing, crying and a half-dozen other activities. Growing up from the statues' square pedestals and snaking upward to entwine around their bodies is a network of tiny green vines, on which are blooming thousands of tiny flowers. The flowers that each statue wears is a different color, from deep crimsons to rich purples to pure whites to bright yellows, giving the statues an effect not unlike being covered with Christmas lights.

Stretching beyond the statues in all directions is a seemingly endless field of sunflowers. They are growing tall and healthy, with stiff stalks a vibrant green and huge brown dials framed by small yellow petals. And each and every one is turned upward, staring lovingly at their namesake.

The sky above is bright blue and completely cloudless. The warm of the sun surrounds you, but not uncomfortably so. The gentle breeze that blows through the field and rustles the sunflowers certainly helps in this regard. All in all, as odd as it is that you have found yourself here, it is really quite a nice place.

But something is off. In most similar places, there would be noises from nearby creatures. The chirping of birds, the chittering of insects, perhaps the cry of larger animals. But here it is almost completely silent. The only sound is that of the wind and the leaves. It is as if you have been dropped in some strange world where all animal life has died off, leaving nothing but the plants behind. But that wouldn't make any sense. Who built the path and the statues? Who tends the flowers?

With this observation comes the decision to investigate. You start to move up the path, sandals slapping against the sun-warmed stone. Even though there is no one else but the flowers, it feels as if someone is nearby, watching. You squint at the eyes of the statues suspiciously, and then the sunflowers. Could someone be hiding in the field? There doesn't seem to be anyone, but something is making you uneasy.

You increase your pace, eventually breaking into a full-out run. More and more statues and sunflowers fly past, with no indication as to their origin.

Wait. Stop. There is something. The path is now circling around a lily-pad filled fountain. And beyond that, a large mansion. It is of a rectangular shape, with three stories of open windows all along the walls. Like the statues, it is also made from white marble. And also like the statues, it has curling vines and multi-colored flowers growing all over its surface. The overall effect is strangely reminiscent of a vanilla-frosting cake covered with rainbow sprinkles. Given the creepy feeling that has been steadily growing, this new reaction is a bit on the disconcerting side.

Still, despite the fact that the mansion seems to be in good repair, there is no one in sight. No one comes out to say hello. You briefly consider calling out to see if anyone's listening, but instead you settle for walking up the steps toward the large double-door. You hesitantly wrap your fingers around the brass doorhandle and give it an experimental tug.

Surprisingly, it opens.

Once inside, things start to get truly bizarre. It is as if someone had taken the interior plan of a greenhouse and a European mansion and spent a considerable amount of time combining the features of both. Before you is a circular foyer, with three ornate doors, one at the far end of the room and the other two to either side, leading to other parts of the mansion. Two curving staircases wrap down to join with the floor at the gaps between the doors. Directly above is a chandelier of gold and crystal, lighting the room with dozens of electric candles.

But all that pales when confronted with the room's centerpiece: a massive handpainted portrait in a frame of golden leaves. In it is tall woman standing in a field of sunflowers on a bright summer's day, presumably the very same field you had just left. The woman seems to be in her early-to-mid thirties and is very attractive, with creamy white skin, a full and curving body and plump lips lifting in a slightly mischievous smile. She is wearing a long red plaid skirt over a pair of stocking of a red so dark they are almost black. Her blouse is pale pink and there is a bright yellow ascot tied at her neck. Over this is an open vest the same color as her skirt. A light lavender umbrella is held lightly in her fingers and leaning over her shoulder. All well and normal, but there is something about the woman that you find to be horribly fascinating. Perhaps the fact that her hair is moss green and her eyes the color of freshly spilled blood has something to do with this.

It is an impressive room, there is no doubt. But even the painting is not as attention-grabbing as the plants. They are literally everywhere. Ivy clinging to the walls and gently wrapping around the painting in an affectionate embrace. Tiny blue bell-shaped flowers growing on vines that dangle from the ceiling. Lilies framing the doors. Rose bushes covering the banisters, red on the left-hand staircase and white on the right. The stone of the floor had been replaced with soft soil, from which grew even more sunflowers.

It doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. This many plants should not be able to grow within this room. And yet here they are, as strong and healthy as if they were outside in a well-tended garden.

But again, there is no one here. Where to next, then? After a moment's contemplation, you decide to leave the second story for later and go through the door on the left, even if it does mean moving gingerly through the sunflowers to reach.

The rest of the mansion continues the theme, a combination of both home and garden. Plants are literally everywhere, covering the walls, the floor, the ceiling. You make your way through hallways and past opulent lounges, silk-adorned bedrooms and a rather large washroom with a bath of black obsidian so large it could have passed for a good sized hot tub.

Whoever lives here must have a deep appreciation for art, as there are an inordinate number of paintings on the walls. Most of them are of landscapes, from flowery fields to crashing waterfalls. Another common theme seems to be young girls, which, coupled with the statues you encountered outside, are starting to cast certain suspicions of the master of the house's pastimes. One of the latter is especially eye-catching. Two smiling children, one girl and one boy are embracing in front of a plain black background. The girl is fair of skin and her golden hair frames her dimpled face in two large curling locks. She is wearing a simple maroon sundress and a wide-brimmed straw hat. The boy is wearing a pair of poofy pants and a white button-up shirt. He is bareheaded, with a mop of green hair and, oddly enough, a pair of what honestly appear to be antennae coming out of his head. By this point this is hardly surprising.

Thwack.

You start and whirl around. The beating of your heart thunders in your ears as your eyes frantically search for the source of the sound. No one is there.

Thwack.

Thwack.

The sound is coming from further down the hall. You cautiously tiptoe and peer into an open doorway.

It's a kitchen made from red brick. Cupboards line the walls, pots and pans hang from the ceiling. The foliage in here seems to mainly be clinging vines and more of those bell-shaped blue flowers hanging from the ceiling.

Though the room is large enough to accommodate a kitchen staff of ten, there is only one person present. It's the golden-haired girl from the painting. She is at the counter at the opposite end of the room, her back toward you and is standing on a crate in order to reach. The source of the noise becomes clear as she methodically hacks away at a piece of raw meat with a cleaver.

Thwack.

Thwack.

Thwack.

So close to speaking to her, to ask her where you are. But then you eye the hunk of meat with uneasiness. This place is strange enough as it is. Who's to say that shank might have come from someone sentient?

The girl finishes her chopping and sets the knife down. She sighs and wipes the back of her hand across her brow. Then one of the vines reaches down to lift a dry towel off of a hook and helpfully hands it to her, which she accepts with a nod of thanks.

Your heart leaps into your throat. You desperately try to move away from the door without attracting the girl's attention, but the shock still makes this difficult.

Then you stare around at the plants that surround you on all sides. You now know who was watching you.

Enough of this. It's time to leave.

You start sprinting back down the way you came. But as you round corner after corner, it becomes clear that you somehow gotten turned around. None of the hallways look familiar. Panics starts to mount as you run faster and faster, fearfully expecting to feel a vine snaking down to wrap around your throat.

Wait. Stop. Voices. The plants? It sounds ridiculous, but at this point even something like that is possible. It doesn't sound like it thought. Perhaps they should be disregarded, but your curiosity eventually gets the better of you. Moving carefully so as not to announce your presence, you creep up toward a doorway that sits slightly open and peer inside.

Four children are inside, huddling together and speaking in hushed tones. It's difficult to make out anything other than the odd sentence fragment, but they seem to be worried. Two of them are noticeably shorter than the others. The first had centered her appearance around the color blue, from her short hair to her dress to the large bow on her head. Six crystalline blue spikes jut from her back like wings. The other's fashion sense is more varied, with green hair tied in a side-ponytail and more traditional wings, these ones membranous and golden.

Fairies? Do such creatures even exist? Normally the answer would be "No", but it's difficult when there's a pair of them sitting not twenty feet away. Besides, after watching that vine pick up that towel, it is difficult to dismiss anything as impossible.

The other two just amp up the strangeness. One is a girl with disheveled brown hair, a brown dress decorated with white petals and feathers and a strange round cap on her head, from which sprout to tiny wings. Two more wings, these ones much larger, are coming out from her back. It's difficult to tell if they're the real thing or just some sort of eccentric decoration, but at this point you're tempted to go with the former.

Sitting next to her and holding her hand is the other child from the painting, the green-haired boy. From the look of things, those antennae had not been the result of artistic license. You gulp and shy back.

The four of them seem to be in heated discussion, not quite an argument, but the tension is obvious. The blue fairy seems to be frantically trying to assure the other three of something while the boy acts as her main opponent. The winged girl isn't saying much, but her worry is obvious. The green fairy seems to be trying to keep tempers from flaring up.

"…it's not…we can still…"

"…can't…even paid attention at all…

"…please, don't shout…"

"…I'm serious, everything will be…"

It's then that the boy with antennae leaps to his feet and starts to shout. You then get yet another shock when you realize that the boy is, in fact, female.

"No, everything will not be all right!" she yells into the blue fairy's face. "Gods, have you been keeping your head in the ground? Things haven't been right since we grabbed that stupid box. And they're only going to get worse!"

The green fairy and the winged girl immediately try to get her to sit down, but she is having none of it.

"Didn't you see Yuuka when she came back?" she demands. "Didn't you see what kind of shape she was in? She lost! She's not going to be able to protect us from anything! So what do you think's gonna happen when Yukari decides to come after us?"

The blue fairy jumps to her feet as well. "You don't know that she lost! Maybe she killed Yukari!"

"As if! Stop being such a thickheaded idiot!"

"I! Am not! An idiot!"

"Yes you are, you idiot!"

"Stop calling me an idiot!"

"Idiot! Idiot! Stupid, stupid, idiot!"

"The one who says idiot is the idiot!"

"You just said idiot, you idiot!"

The two immediately jump at each other and start struggling, all the while shouting insults as the other two desperately try to pull them apart. Taking that as your cue to leave, you back away from the door and once again start to run.

It was clear that a conflict had recently taken place. Seeing how you do not want to wind up in the middle of anything that would stress the residents of this house, it is time to find the exit as quickly possible and leave everything to their fights and plants.

As another corner is rounded, you feel a sudden rush of relief. Daylight could be seeing streaming through a huge picture window that takes up the entire left wall. And there, in the center of the window, is an open glass door. Freedom. You grin and sprint out the door into the open air.

"Ah. Hello there."

Your eyes bulge and you skid to a sudden stop. You're on some sort of marble sundeck, on which is a round, one-legged table, shaded by an umbrella. There are two chairs at the table. The closest is empty. The other is not.

The red-eyed woman from the painting in the foyer sits there. On the table before her is a pale blue cup of tea, a small bowl of sugar cubes and pitcher of cream. She is leaning over the table, her hands clasped in front of her face, her mouth turn up in a wry smile.

However, that alone is not what makes her appearance terrifying. The woman has obviously been through hell. Though the only flesh uncovered by clothing are her hands and head, that is more than enough. Her face is twisted and scarred, with the flesh literally burned away in some areas. Her green hair has been reduced to odd scraggly patches and wispy strands growing out of her abused skull. A white strip of linen holds a puffy bandage over her left eye. Her fingers are burnt black and skeletal in their appearance. And she no longer has what can be properly called a nose.

You turn to flee, but find that the glass door has been closed and sealed shut by ivy. There is an exit to the garden below to both your left and your right, but those have been blocked off by two large briar patches that had not been there a moment ago.

Trapped.

"Now, now, none of that," the deformed woman murmurs. Despite the horrific damage, her voice, low and with an unidentifiable but unquestionably European accent, is intact. "It's rude to show up for tea and suddenly leave without saying a word. Now, won't you have a seat?"

At your look of disbelief, she laughs and says, "Oh, come now. I'm not going to hurt you. For one, as you can obviously see, I am in no shape to be getting into any tussles. For another, it is bad manners to murder your guests, at least the ones that are invited. And you are invited, aren't you?"

You most certainly are not, but you are not about to tell her that.

"Excellent! Now, please. Have a seat."

Seeing no other choice in the matter, you warily walk over and sit down in the empty chair. It is then that you notice that the woman is wearing two rings, one on the ring finger of her right hand and one on the middle finger of her left. Both are gold and set with a large round crystal, cut into multiple facets. As you draw closer, you see that the left-handed one is glowing with a pale lavender light while the one of the right is bright scarlet.

"Well now," the woman says once you've sat down. "Little Elly should be along any minute now to check up on me. I'll have her bring you refreshments then. But in the meantime, I suppose we may just address the elephant in the room."

Sweat prickles on the back of your neck. Here it comes. She's going to demand to know why-

"You're sitting there, thinking to yourself, 'Why my dear Yuuka, whatever happened to you, you poor thing?' I do not blame you. My condition is certainly a sight."

To be honest, you had been wondering about that. And there seems to be no reason why this woman, Yuuka, is treating you as a beloved friend rather than an intruder, you sure are not going to dissuade her from that notion. Perhaps if you get her talking, the opportunity to slip away will present itself.

"Well, that's something of a long story," Yuuka sighs. "But the short of it is, I was on the losing side of something of a no-holds-barred brawl. I suppose it comes as some small consolation that I gave as good as I got, but I'm afraid that the final score would be in her favor, even if she did cheat. But I don't begrudge her that. There's a certain amount of respect in cheating. Shows that she was unsure of her ability to take me on her own. But yes, the story." She rolls her one good eye up as she taps her scarred lip with a ravaged finger. "So difficult to know where to start…You are aware of the events that have plagued this fair country as of late, are you not?"

You dare not contradict her.

"Good. Well, I suppose we should begin with a few days ago and see the final events leading up to the battle in question. I suppose you also know of the twists and turns that surrounded our rivalry, yes? Excellent. Now then, let's begin with someone who, while not directly involved, still stood to be affected. It never pays to forget that the effects of every story are felt by more than the main characters. There are always bystanders who stand to lose just as much as the participants. Now, look."

She pushes her still-full teacup across the table. Confused, you lean over to peer within. At first, it's just seems to be green tea. But then the murky liquid clears, and you are looking down at a concerned girl with short blond hair, staring up at the sky as she stands in a field of poison…

…

The weather was getting worse. Already the gloomy grey of the last few days had darkened. Now black storm clouds hovered ominously overhead, just waiting for the opportune moment. A low but steady wind had been blowing all day, rustling the tall weeds of the field.

Alice Margatroid watched them with worried eyes. She usually didn't much care what the weather was, as her house was well insulated against radical climate changes. However, a storm would mean that her activities here would be postponed, and she was making little headway as it was.

Someone approached her from behind. "These-con-di-tions-con-tin-ue-to-wor-sen," said a strange, scratchy mechanical voice. "Con-tin-u-ing-in-this-wea-ther-is-ill-ad-vised."

Alice turned. There, coming toward her, was a very strange person. Or rather, a couple of persons that, when taken together, comprised a single entity. The larger of the two was quite literally a five-and-a-half foot female doll. She was dressed in an expansive red skirt and a blouse the color of blood pudding. Her painted eyes were of a blue light enough to pass for silver, and there was a red ribbon tied in her short yellow hair, with another at her neck. A large white bow was firmly sewed to her lower back.

The second person looked more-or-less the same, except she was only about a foot tall and hovering over her larger counterpart's shoulder, much as Shanghai often hovered over Alice's. It was to the latter that Alice spoke.

"I can see the sky, thank you very much," she snapped. "I am not blind, you know."

The little doll scowled, but it was its larger counterpart that spoke. "Then-you-re-a-lize-the-risks-we-are-tak-ing," it said, its wooden mouth moving up and down on its hinge. "This-storm-threat-ens-to-up-set-"

"Yes, yes, I know," Alice muttered. "No point in delaying the inevitable." She walked past the composite person that was Medicine Melancholy toward a small clearing in the poison lilies that surrounded them on all sides. It was her good fortune that the one who had assisted in her ascension to youkaihood had intended for her to be immortal in every way. Else she would have more to worry about than bad weather.

However, it was someone else's ascension that concerned her at that moment. Or lack thereof. Shanghai was lying on the ground, right in the center of a magic circle. A six pointed star surrounded her, its points touching the edges of the circle. This in turn was surrounded by eight similar but smaller circles, each one a different color. Each of the smaller circle's contained a different item: a lock of Alice's hair, a vial of her blood, a small pink focusing crystal, some (very small) wood shavings taken from Medicine, a small bag of fairy dust, one of the field's poison lilies, a half-inch of angel hair and one of Kaguya Houraisan's toenails. That final ingredient had taken a great deal of work to obtain, with more than a week's work of planning and learning about certain aspects of the Lunarian Princess' personal life that she would quite frankly had been happier remaining ignorant of.

Each of the ingredients was held down by an anchor spell, else the wind would have scattered them in moments. However, that was not what Alice was concerned about. The energy of storms could be harnessed and used to provide additional fuel to large spells that were powerful but simple in construction. However, they tended to wreak havoc on more delicate enchantments. And the spell they were trying to pull off was nothing but delicate.

"Of course a storm would come," Alice muttered. She waved her hand over the clearing. Each of the spell circles faded away. Another wave of the hand and each of the ingredients lifted into the air. From a nearby oak chest the size of a jewelry box, eight small silk drawstring pouches also hovered into the air and opened up, allowing the ingredients to slide inside. The strings drew tight and the bags neatly replaced themselves within the chest.

Alice knelt down to close the chest. She lifted it up. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, really. After all, it's not like we weren't encountering enough problems already. But now the weather itself has decided to get in our way. Sometimes I feel that something is deliberately foiling our work here, I really do."

"We-have-been-a-ware-of-this-com-ing-storm-for-days," Medicine pointed out. "It's-not-like-it-rose-up-out-of-no-where."

Alice shot her a dirty look. "And yet, here it is, getting in our way. Foreknowledge of an obstacle does not change the fact that the obstacle remains an obstacle."

Medicine frowned. "I-fail-to-see-why-this-is-such-a-prob-lem. All-we-lose-is-a-few-min-utes-un-til-we-re-lo-cate. Be-sides, none-of-us-three-is-ag-ing-in-the-slight-est. Why-should-a-tem-por-ar-y-de-lay-mat-ter?"

Holding the chest under one arm, Alice flicked her hair. "Perhaps I simply tire of our lack of success. I'm entitled to a little impatience every now and then." She flicked her wrist. At her command, Shanghai sat up. The blond doll pushed herself to her feet and flew into the air, taking her place over Alice's shoulder.

"And-is-im-pai-tence-the-rea-son-you-have-in-sis-ted-on-meet-ing-ev-er-y-day-this-week?" Medicine pressed.

"Is this a problem?"

"I-am-as-com-mit-ted-to-this-pro-ject-as-you, but-this-is-get-ting-strange. It-is-al-most-as-if-we-have-ac-quired-a-dead-line."

"Now you're just being silly."

"Some-thing-is-both-er-ing-you."

Alice glowered at the living doll. "If I ever need to be emotionally analyzed, I will seek out the services of a professional. Since I don't and you are not, I suggest that you-"

"It-is-that-witch-girl, is-it-not?"

Alice blinked.

"Ev-er-y-one-knows-that-she-was-beat-en-down-and-cap-tured-by-the-bor-der-you-kai-right-in-your-house. Just-as-ev-er-y-one-knows-that-the-bor-der-you-kai-is-cur-rent-ly-on-the-war-path. The-witch-girl-is-not-ex-pect-ed-to-sur-vive. So-giv-en-your…" Medicine made a sound of disgust. "…close-re-la-tion-ship-with-the-witch-girl-it-real-ly-is-ob-vi-ous-that-she-is-the-source-of-your-un-char-act-er-is-tic-stress."

Her cheeks burning bright, Alice turned away. "My relationship with Marisa is my own business," she snapped. "Mind only what I have paid you to mind."

"Hu-mans," Medicine muttered. "I-for-one-can-not-see-why-you-choose-to-as-so-ci-ate-with-those-sla-vers."

"I used to be Human myself," Alice growled. Though Medicine was the most logical choice as a partner in her quest to grant Shanghai true sentience, the living doll's prejudices made working with her a trying experience at times. "You will do well to remember this."

"And-yet-you-chose-to-for-sake-your-hu-man-i-ty-and-be-come-a-you-kai," Medicine pointed out.

Alice whirled around. "That was not my choice!" she snapped angrily. "I have Mother's misguided goodwill to thank for that. And just because I became immortal does not mean I lost my humanity."

Though she did not speak, Medicine's true body smirked. "Give-it-time," her larger half said.

"Once again, I'd thank you to keep your mouth shut, both of them, and do not bring up matters that do not concern you. Or have you forgotten who built your secondary body in the first place?" Alice gestured to the full-sized Medicine Melancholy. "Annoy me further, and I just might be tempted to wrest control away."

Medicine's smirk vanished immediately. "You-are-being-ri-dic-u-lous. It-is-not-like-she-will-not-die-in-time-a-ny-way."

"For the final time, you do not and should not worry about that at all." Alice floated into the air, Shanghai trailing behind. "All you need to concern yourself with is repeating whatever trick led to you becoming a real girl. Does that sound too hard, Pinoccia?"

Medicine followed. "If-I-could-re-mem-ber-I-would-tell-you," she snapped. "Do-not-you-know-how-frus-trat-ing-this-it? To-have-a-chieved-some-thing-in-ac-ci-dent-and-being-un-able-to-rep-li-cate-the-ef-fect-de-lib-er-ate-ly?"

"Why yes. Yes I do. Or close enough, anyway. But please, let us drop this increasingly irritating subject. It's a long trip back to my home and I do not wish to spend it debating your…distasteful views. Talk instead about one of your poisons if you must."

Medicine perked up. "Real-ly? Be-cause-it-just-so-hap-pens-that-I-re-cent-ly-ac-qui-red-a-batch-of-Act-a-e-a-Pach-y-pod-a-seeds."

"Is that so?" Alice said without caring in the slightest bit.

"Oh-yes! They-are-nick-named-Doll's-Eyes, ap-pro-pri-ate-ly-e-nough. Cur-i-ous-ly-their-fruit-is-high-ly-poi-son-ous-to-Hu-mans-but-com-plete-ly-harm-less-to-birds-and-as-such…"

And so she continued on. Alice sighed and continued to head toward her house. Medicine followed behind, droning on and on and on…

…

"My, my, my, that doll is in possession of some rather interesting ideas," Yuuka says. "If I didn't know better, I'd say that she would poison all of humanity if given the opportunity." She laughs. "I like her! We should be friends!"

You giggle nervously, hoping that feigned agreement will keep her focused more on the pictures in her tea and away from questioning your presence. A glance to the side confirms that yes, the exits are still sealed.

"Now then," Yuuka says as she rubs a single ruined finger around the edge of the cup. "Let's see who else we can scare up."

…

"All right," Patchouli Knowledge murmured as she made yet another adjustment to the flow of magic. "That should do it…"

She took in a deep, shaky breath, was pleased to see that it was uninterrupted by a coughing fit, and slowly let it out. She stepped back from her generator and shot a look to her assistants. Koakuma and Tokiko were standing under the pavilion, watching her with both eager anticipation and apprehension.

Patchouli was tempted to scold them for their lack of confidence. But to be truthful, she did not have high hopes of success either. They were trying to build off of someone else's failed experiment, a someone else that had invented more about magic than Patchouli would probably ever learn. What hope did she have of succeeding where Mima had failed? True, Patchouli was an accomplished magician in her own right and might even be considered one of the principle heavyweights in the current magical world, but being someone who was well-regarded in a certain community was a far cry from being the person who had practically shaped it into what it was today.

Enough of this. Patchouli shook her head and grimaced. She had no time for self-doubt. If this attempt was going to fail, then it just meant she had to seek out what went wrong and try to fix it. Trial and error, the only way anything new was done right.

So before the nagging voices in her head could start gnawing away at her confidence, Patchouli reached out with her mind. She touched the generator, felt the delicate balance of forces gathered around it, felt the power it contained. And, with one simple command of thought, she turned it on.

Immediately there was a low humming. A soft golden light started to blink within the black crystal dome, growing larger with every pulse until the whole thing was shining brightly. The multicolored crystals that stood atop of the pillars that circled the generator likewise began to glow. Crackling energy formed around them, jumping from crystal to connect them and form a network.

Patchouli tensed. So far it was working correctly, but that did not mean it wasn't on the verge of exploding. She had had several past experiments start up the way they were supposed to only to blow off half her face.

Suddenly, a wave of energy exploded out of the dome. Koakuma cried out and covered her face while Tokiko dove under the table. Even Patchouli couldn't help but flinch.

However, there was no rush of heat and pain commonly associated with such failures. Patchouli cautiously opened her eyes to see that a dome of sparkling energy had stabilized around the generator. It was semi-transparent and kept blinking from one color to the next. At the same time, the crystal of the corresponding color would briefly flash, one right after the other. And so it went on, working both its way around the circle of crystals and the full range of the electromagnetic spectrum. It was very pretty, but nauseating to watch. Probably seizure-inducing as well. Patchouli made a point not to look directly at it.

"It works!" Tokiko blurted out. She scurried out from under the table to stare in amazement.

Patchouli sighed and exchanged a look with Koakuma. Like herself, the devil girl had seen too many past experiments go up in flames to declare this one a success so early.

"It turns on," Patchouli said to the ibis girl. "Nothing more. Whether or not it will fulfill its intended purpose remains to be seen." With that, she walked over to the table and picked up a silver-bladed knife, borrowed from Sakuya. "And to find that out, we need to begin some tests."

Patchouli levitated the knife into the air. She moved it until it was dangling directly over the center of the generator, blade down and handle pointing toward the sky. And then she released it.

As soon as the tip of the blade touched the shield, the hum became a shrill shriek, almost as if the shield were screaming in pain. This time, all three of them cried out in surprise as the shield flared bright red and exploded.

For a second nobody moved. The generator sat quiet and lifeless, the knife lying on the grass a few meters away. Glittering ruby sparks drifted down from the sky.

Then Patchouli spoke. "Well, it would seem that further modifications are necessary."

With that, she marched forward and inspected her failure. The magical circles and the generator itself were fine. The dome wasn't even scratched. However, when she got to the pillars she immediately saw the problem. Part of the red crystal had blown clean off. Presumably, it had been the one active when the knife had hit, and the contact had overloaded it.

Patchouli sighed and shrugged. Well, at least she knew that the problem was with the shield's fluctuating bases. Now that she knew that, she could work on pinning down the exact imperfection and correcting in.

Then she heard someone nearby clapping in a slow, sarcastic rhythm. "Bravo, bravo," Remilia said. "A magnificent performance. Truly, your magicky skills must be unmatched by all your peers."

Patchouli glanced over her shoulder. Remilia was standing there, fangs protruding from her sly smile. Curiously enough, Flandre was there too, standing next to her sister. Sakuya stood behind the two vampires, holding up an umbrella to shield them from the light of the setting sun.

What was even stranger was how Remilia and Flandre were dressed. Remilia was holding her spear, Gungnir, while Flandre had that accursed wand of hers, Laevatein. This in itself wouldn't be unusual, but the two sisters had traded in their pink and scarlet dresses and accompanying mop caps for a pair of matching red-and-white militaristic uniforms with large gold buttons, stiff pants and shiny black boots and gloves. Remilia was wearing a hard-brimmed commander's cap and had so many medals adorning the left breast that it was a wonder that she wasn't leaning to one side. As for Flandre, she had on a helmet topped with a small golden bat. While Remilia was standing stiffly and obviously trying to look impressive, Flandre was clearly uncomfortable. She kept fidgeting and gnawed constantly at her sleeve.

Patchouli frankly thought that they both looked ridiculous. Koakuma and Tokiko, on the other hand, immediately started slinking away, trying to make themselves look inconspicuous.

"Hello Remi," Patchouli said in an even tone. "Interesting outfit you've got there. Strange, no one informed me that there was to be a costume ball."

Remilia's smirk disappeared. "For your information, we are on our way to attend Yukari's meeting of minds, to discuss the Yuuka Kazami problem. I do not believe anything is lost by trying to make a good impression, wouldn't you agree?" Then her eyes narrowed on Flandre, who was still trying to chew her sleeve off. She gave her sister an admonishing whack on the back of the head. "Stop that, these uniforms are expensive."

"But it itches!" Flandre whined.

"Learn to live with it. You don't want Yukari thinking you to be undisciplined, do you?"

"I hate discipline!"

Now it was Patchouli's turn to smirk. "Yes, what impressive figures you cut. Yakumo will sure be so impressed that she bows before your magnificence and abandons command into your capable hands." Patchouli turned away from the increasingly angry Remilia to focus on her damaged generator. "Well then, ta ta, and have a wonderful trip. Heil Tepes."

Behind her, Remilia hissed in indignation. "And I trust you'll have worked out the bugs in your little toy by the time we come back, correct? Because it would be so disappointing to return in victory only to find that my master magician cannot do something so basic as construct a simple barrier, wouldn't you agree?"

That hit a nerve. Patchouli whirled around and marched right up to Remilia and jabbed a finger in her face.

"What I am trying to accomplish here is considered impossible by the overwhelming majority of the magical community," she snapped. "Not only that, you forced me to rush a completed version before I could even get the prototype working properly. All things considered, I'd say it is a testament to my expertise and not insignificant amount of knowledge and skill that I am even making progress, much less got the thing to start up on the first try! But if that is not enough for you, then I suggest you look elsewhere for a professional magic user, if you can find one that can tolerate your insufferable pettiness." She turned back around and walked back to the damaged pillar. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm currently occupied with telling the laws of reality to sit down and shut up."

Remilia a noise of barely contained fury. "Out of all the insolent…Let's go!" she snapped to Sakuya and Flandre. "We wouldn't want to keep the creator of Gensokyo waiting."

Patchouli rolled her eyes. She turned around to fire off one last parting shot, but stopped when she saw that the space they had occupied was empty.

She frowned in puzzlement, but then relaxed and rolled her eyes. "Ah, yes. Sakuya. Or perhaps Yukari herself. It really doesn't matter." She shook her head. "That poor little fool of a vampire. She's going to get herself in trouble one day."

With a sigh that was almost regretful, Patchouli returned her attention to her work, but was stopped when someone tugged on her sleeve. She looked down to see Tokiko looking up at her.

"Yes?" Patchouli said testily.

Tokiko fidgeted nervously. "Um…I know I really haven't been here that long, but I…you know, I really like this place, and…"

"If there is a point that you're struggling to reach, then please. Do us both a favor and skip right to it."

"The mistresses Scarlet. And mistress Izayoi. I don't really know what's going on, but it sounds like they're going to do something dangerous. Are they going to be okay?"

Patchouli sighed. "Tokiko, in case it has somehow failed to escape your notice, I am a magician, not a seer. I deal with warping the flow of energy and bending it to my absolute will. What I cannot do is foresee future events. The outcome of Remilia's little tryst with Yukari has yet to take place and therefore is outside of my jurisdiction. So I'm afraid that achieving any sort of favorable result is entirely up to them."

Tokiko flinched. She stared down at the grass. "But…but…"

Patchouli grimaced. She fought off the groan she felt forming. "Oh, for the love of…Look, if it makes you feel any better, Remilia may be a complete and utter ass at times. And Flandre can run the entire spectrum of mental disorders within the space of a single day. Still, given the number of times those two have gotten themselves into dire trouble through their own idiocy and still came out alive and well, I must conclude that, while it flies in the face of any rational line of thinking, they must be blessed with a double portion of the sort of luck that protects fools such as they. So please don't bury them until they are actually dust. If nothing else, I find unnecessary moping to be incredibly irritating and wasteful of energy that could be better spent elsewhere. Now, do you find that sufficiently reassuring?"

Tokiko blinked. She glanced back and forth before her gaze finally settled on Koakuma, who was watching the whole exchange with a slightly bemused expression on her face.

Then she smiled. "Yeah, I guess I do."

"So glad to hear it," Patchouli said. "Now, if the group therapy session is now over, would you two be so kind as to wake up Meiling? I fear this pillar needs replacing. In fact, we may have to replace them all before I get this damned thing working right."

…

"Hmmm, it seems that many of these players have irritable and overly self-assured magic users who like to use big words waiting for them back at home," Yuuka says. "I can't help but wonder what would if those two were ever meet. Either they shall decide that neither can live while the other exists or immediately begin rutting in the dirt." She giggles. "Personally, I find myself favoring a combination of the two. Now, before we jump to the main players in question, I think we have time for one more little detour…"

…

Tenshi Hinanai glowered with half-lidded eyes out from under the pile of bedclothes and stuffed animals at the entrance to her room. Outside, her parents were banging on the door, pleading with her to come out.

"Honey, please come out!" Father begged. "You've been in there all week!"

Reaching up to pull her blanket off her head, Tenshi yelled, "So what? We're immortal! That's just a couple of seconds to us!"

"Come on, Chiko. Be reasonable," Mother said. "Can't we talk about-"

"My name is Tenshi!"

"Of course it is," Mother quickly amended. "You will always be our beautiful angel."

"And you know we don't believe a word about what that awful Yukari said about you," Father added. "Absolutely ridiculous. I have half a mind to go tell that woman-"

"Go away!" Tenshi screamed. "Leave me alone!"

"Sweetheart, please," Mother pleaded. "You can't stay in there forever."

"Why not?" Tenshi shot back. "It's not like anything I do ever matters. Who would care?"

"We would, Tenshi," Father said. "You're our little girl."

Tenshi couldn't help but laugh at that. "Oh, sure. Forever and ever, huh?" She pulled the blanket back down. "Go away."

"But Tenshi-"

"I said, go away!"

She listened as her parents argued in hushed but worried tones beyond her door. She grimaced. They were probably wondering what they had done to make her angry. It was amazing how thick they could be. Her first time actually being treated like the royalty she was, representing Heaven in an important meeting of the minds, and she had been publically humiliated and slapped down like she was some kind of child. And now she was still being treated like a child, just like she always was! Of course she wasn't over it. What were those idiots thinking?

Then, to her immense relief, there came the sound of their gradually fading footsteps. They were finally leaving her alone.

She waited until she was sure that they were gone for good. Then she shoved the covers off, kicked her stuffed animals out of the way, and lowered herself to the floor. To her surprise, her legs wobbled and nearly gave out, forcing her to grab at one of the bed-canopy's posters for support.

Okay, so maybe her parents had been right about spending too much time in bed. Stopped clocks and all of that.

Carefully balancing on shaky legs, Tenshi stumbled her way across the room, nearly upsetting a potted bonsai tree in the process, until she reached the bathroom door. She fumbled at the handle, pushed the door open and flicked on the light.

Once inside, Tenshi slouched over the sink and glowered at herself in the full-wall mirror. Goodness, she was a fright. Her face had taken on a gaunt, malnourished look and her makeup, the same she had worn to the Ringleader meeting, had smeared all over itself. The worst was the eyes. In addition to still being wet and red, her eyeliner was running down her cheeks, making it look like she was weeping oil.

With a growl of disgust she turned on the faucet's handles, letting steaming hot water splash down into the bowl .Then she grabbed a neatly folded hand-towel, held it under the running water until it had absorbed all it could and scrubbed away the mess on her face. When she was done, she looked at herself again and smiled.

Well, maybe the situation wasn't unsalvageable. True, her reputation had taken a nasty hit, but it wasn't anything she couldn't recover from. All she had to do was show Yukari up. That was it. She was going to find and take down Rin Whatshername and show everyone that Tenshi Hinanai was not to be laughed at. She would show them that…

…

Yuuka blinks in surprise. "Oh my, where did that come from? I'm sorry, my concentration must have wandered. That was certainly random. I don't even know that girl." She sighs. "Well, I suppose that's enough detours. I have yet to get to the meat of the story, and you're probably getting impatient. So let's move away from these arrogant little brats and take a look at a different sort of girl. One that's sweet, naïve, kind but not too bright, and very, very dangerous…"

…

Utsuho Reiuji followed her companions through Yukari's gap and gaped when she got her first look at the Court of Conflict.

"Satori!" she said. "Why are there so many seats? Is that where the audience sits?"

"It is neither a sports arena nor an amphitheater," Satori patiently explained. "This is where community leaders, military officers, advisers and anyone else close to the Youkai Queen Minerva met to plan out the conquest of Gensokyo. This room has since been recommissioned for the bi-centurial meetings of Gensokyo's leaders."

"Oh. And you're one of those leaders, right Satori?"

"Yes."

"Who else is there?"

"It depends on who is in charge of each community at the time," Satori said. "In addition to the Underground, those in representation would be the leaders of the Humans, the Kappa, the Tengu, the Kirin, Makai, Heaven, the Seat of Judgment and the Netherworld. The Dragons are technically a member as well, but they so rarely have anything to do with current events that they are not often present. Also, Hakurei Shrine has recently been added to our numbers so that we may be kept up to date on the Hakurei Barrier's condition, Eientei has been recognized as the principle authority of the Bamboo Forest of the Lost and Myouren Temple is now representing the interests of the Wilds."

"Uh, okay. So you guys just sit in those chairs and talk the whole time, right?"

"That is correct, though shouting is often involved."

Orin scratched her head. "Yeah, I meant to ask you about those chairs. They really don't look comfortable. At all."

"Not in the slightest." Satori turned. "Ah, here comes our host."

Yukari was walking toward the trio, Ran following dutifully behind. "Satori," she said. "Thank you for coming. And also thank you for arriving first. I for one would not want to have Remilia Scarlet and her entourage for company without sufficient backup." Then she looked at Orin. "Well, Rin Kaenbyou. I see you've shed your whiskers for this meeting."

Orin coughed nervously. "Um, yeah. Hi."

"I take it you'll be assisting in keeping your friend here under control?"

"Sure, you could say that."

Utsuho nudged Orin. "Is she talking about me?" she whispered.

"Not now, Okuu," Orin whispered back.

"But why do I need to be kept-"

"Not now!"

"Well, best take your seat," Yukari said, ignoring Satori's pets. "I'll be bringing Remilia over soon. You'll be wanting to get out of the way."

"Duly noted." Satori nodded toward Orin and Utsuho. "Come now, it is best that we cleared the floor. The others will be less likely to harass us if we are already seated."

Yukari cleared her throat. "Ah, Satori. I presume you know about the recent addition to the team?"

"Yes." Satori laid a hand on her third eye. "I have no objections. Just please make sure that she stays away from my pets and remains adequately fed at all times."

Yukari blinked. "I…Uh, I was talking about Mima."

"I was not. But now that you've brought her up, I suppose she bears watching as well."

"Interesting." Yukari scratched her head. "I do believe you need to reprioritize your list of threats."

"Even creatures like Mima must fall in line behind those completely innocent of morality and eternally hungry," Satori said. "At least the vengeful and manipulative can be reasoned with."

"A fair point," Yukari admitted. "But don't worry. I'll make sure that she doesn't start munching on your friends."

"Thank you."

Satori led the dubious Orin and the wide-eyed Utsuho up to three of the stone chairs close to Yukari's seat.

"You were right about these chairs," Orin muttered as she wiggled in her seat. "So glad I was in cat form for the last one. How can you stand sitting in these things? My butt's getting sore already."

"Through self-control. Mind over matter."

"Is that right? Sorry boss, my matter's kind of really uncomfortable right now. Okuu, what are you doing? I know it's a literal pain in the ass, but sit down already."

Utsuho, as Orin noted, was not sitting in her chair. Rather, she was standing on it and peering out the tall windows that hung above the rows of seats. "Wow," she said as she stared at the expanse of the Ruined City. She reached down to pull on Orin's arm. "Look at this, Orin!"

Orin shook her off. "Seen it the last time. Just looked like a bunch of rocks."

"Really? Did you tell me about it?"

"Yeah, but I'm kinda sucky at describing thing. You probably don't remember."

"I guess not. How high are we, Satori?"

"This tower is 94.847 percent of a mile high," Satori answered. "We are in the upmost room."

"So…pretty high then?"

"To some, yes."

"Okay." Utsuho frowned. She turned around and sat down. "Hey, is this place bigger than our house?"

"In height, yes. But the Palace of Earth Spirits covers a greater area."

Utsuho looked at her in confusion.

"This place is taller, our place is fatter," Orin told her.

"Oh!" Utsuho said, suddenly understanding. "Okay." She frowned. "So…"

The Hell-Raven held up the control rod that covered her right and stared at it. She balled her left hand into a fist and put it next to the control rod. She seemed to be taking measure of both.

Orin's face twisted in bewilderment. "Uh…what…"

"She is picturing Yukari's citadel and the Palace of Earth Spirits side-by-side," Satori told her. "To be specific, she is trying to decide who would win in a fight."

"Win…You mean the buildings?"

"Yes. It seems that this citadel has a fully functioning laser installed at its pinnacle, and our own home comes equipped with numerous missile silos. Admittedly, I am not certain as to why she has decided that this battle must take place outside of the earth's atmosphere, but I suppose the lack of gravity does allow for easier maneuverability."

"I….okay then." Orin shrugged. She leaned over to Utsuho. "Just to save you some time," she murmured. "Our place would totally kick this place's ass."

"Really?"

"We have a lake of lava. This place has a bunch of rocks. We win."

Utsuho thought about that for a moment. Then she grinned. "Coooool…"

…

"An emotionless peeping-tom, a sarcastic feline and an overpowered fool," Yuuka murmurs. "Clearly, poor Yukari's little band of ruffians is not off to the best start. And I'm afraid it only gets worse from here. It's time to return to the brats."

…

Remilia Scarlet hastily exited Yukari's gap. Thanks to her previous encounter with the infernal devices, she was of the mind that the less time spent in them, the better. In fact, she would have been perfectly fine making the journey by air. However, Yukari had made it clear that she was in no mood to wait.

"Hate those things," Flandre muttered. The blond vampire started scratching herself all over. "Hate 'em, hate 'em, hate 'em."

Sakuya said nothing.

Remilia folded her arms. She looked around. "So, this is the famed Court of Conflict? One can't help but wonder what its original name was." She sniffed. "Still, rather ostentatious meeting place, wouldn't you agree? I don't see why Yukari didn't simply bring us to a normal sized room."

"But if I were to do that, how would I tower menacingly over you?" a mocking voice said from directly behind Remilia. "Though perhaps you have a point. Towering over you seems to be something that can't be helped."

"Yukari," Remilia said with a scowl. She turned to see her smiling host and the nine-tailed kitsune standing right behind where the gap had been. "A little old for the sneaking up behind people, aren't you? I notice that your scent seems to have temporarily disappeared. This isn't just for my benefit, is it?"

"Tch," Yukari said. "Forgive me. I like to keep my subordinates on their toes." She looked the fuming vampire up and down. "Well, you're here then."

"Yes," Remilia glared. "I am."

"Good. What in the world are you wearing?"

"What?" Remilia gaped. "Are you blind? It's a uniform! I was under the impression that we were going to war!"

Yukari stared at her. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "And just when I thought this couldn't get any…" She sighed. "Go sit down. And stay quiet."

"I don't like you," Flandre broke in suddenly. "And you'll never have my pudding."

"Goodness, how will I ever survive?" Yukari pointed to the stone chairs that lined the walls on both sides of the room. "Go. Sit."

Bristling but unable to see any alternative, Remilia stomped her way toward the rows of seats. Why was it so difficult to get people to take her seriously? It seemed like everyone was staring down their noses at her, from Yukari to Mima to Patchouli to…

Remilia slowed when she saw that three of the seats were already taken. "Sakuya," she whispered. "Is that who I think it is?"

"Satori Komejii?" Sakuya said. "The ruler of the Underground? Yes, that's her. I recall seeing her at the previous meeting, though we did not speak."

"Who are those women with her?"

"I am unfamiliar with the redhead, but judging by the wings, the bizarre contraption on her arm and the large red eye in the center of her chest, I'd say the other would be Utsuho Reiuji."

"The Hell-Raven?" Remilia said. She thoughtfully rubbed her chin. "The one that went mad and caused that big commotion a few years back?"

"She has very pretty eyes," Flandre noted. "More than she should." She smiled. "I like her."

"I believe so, Mistress," Sakuya told Remilia. "As I understand it, they're currently using her as a power source of some kind."

"Interesting," Remilia murmured. Then she cast a look over to Yukari. The border-youkai was standing a ways away and in deep conversation with her Shikigami.

"Well then," Remilia purred. She grinned. "I suppose the friendly thing to do would be go say hello, wouldn't you agree?"

"Mistress, I don't believe this is the wisest-"

It was no use. Remilia was already in the air and making her way toward the already seated women, her small wings flapping appropriately despite having absolutely nothing to do with her flight. Flandre was quick to follow. After the briefest of hesitations, Sakuya did so as well.

Satori glanced up as Remilia approached, but said nothing. Remilia landed on the seat directly in front of her, smiled warmly and extended her hand.

"Hello there!" she said. "Now, I don't believe we've ever been properly introduced. I am-"

"Remilia Scarlet, vampire," Satori said in a voice that conveyed both disinterest and a lack of a proper night's sleep. "Mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, which borders the Misty Lake. In addition to your normal vampiric abilities, you also possess the ability to manipulate one's fate, though to what extent seems to vary from situation to situation. Responsible for what is now commonly referred to the 'Scarlet Mist Incident', insofar as such incidents are judged, that one would rank rather low as a threat."

Startled, Remilia quickly recomposed herself. "Ah, yes. Your famed mind-reading abilities," she said. "Quite impress-"

"No. That is common knowledge."

"I, uh, see that my reputation precedes-"

"I was aware of your inclusion in this endeavor from its inception. Aside from you and your sister, there are no other vampires involved, especially none that appear to be frozen in the bodies of prepubescent Human females. Furthermore, Yukari informed me that she would be bringing you and your party over moments before your arrival."

"Oh. Well, then-"

"I am not interested in entering into any scheme, plot, or conspiracy with you. Unlike yourself, we were not forced into this as a means of punishment. As such, I have neither reason nor inclination to work against Yukari. Doing so would serve no purpose and be idiotic in the extreme. Furthermore, should you continue to try to find conspirators as you did with Mima and seek out to undermine this operation, I will be forced to report your actions, further worsening your predicament." A pause, and she added, "Also, your outfit is ridiculous."

Remilia stared at her, slack-jawed in shock and indignation. She started to sputter, only to have Sakuya sidle up to her and whisper, "Mistress, it would be best to discontinue this conversation."

A tense moment passed. Then Remilia spat out "Fine!" and spun around to plop sulkily into her chair.

"Though honestly, would it kill anybody to be just a little polite?" she muttered under her breath. "I mean, honestly. I make one mistake, a suddenly there's a big scarlet 'B' stitched to my breast. And all I wanted was to see a little justice done! Was that too much to ask?"

"B?" Sakuya asked, confused.

"For blackmail," Satori told her.

Remilia turned in her seat to glare daggers. "Thank you for your completely unwanted explanation."

"You are welcome."

As Sakuya tried to restrain her mistress from lunging for Satori's major arteries, another first contact was taking place between a resident of the Scarlet Devil Mansion and the Palace of Earth Spirits. Flandre sat backwards in her chair, legs folded under her and hands holding the backrest. Her wide eyes were staring up at Utsuho, who was returning the gesture by staring right back.

Had it continued, the world might have witnessed the very first staring contest between an undead juvenile powerhouse of destruction and a nuclear-powered devourer of gods. As it was though, Utsuho was evidently not interested in having her eyeballs become as red as the one in the center of her chest. So she blinked and said, "Hi."

"Hi," Flandre responded. She continued staring.

"What's your name?"

"Flandre Scarlet."

Utsuho smiled. She extended her uncovered hand. "Hi Flandre. I'm Utsuho Reiuji, but everybody calls me Okuu. It's a nickname," she quickly added, apparently believing that it was necessary.

Flandre stared at the offered hand. She hesitantly extended her own and wrapped her fingers around Utsuho's thumb.

"Um…" Utsuho said. She slowly moved her and Flandre's arms up and down. When she was done Flandre pulled her hand away and stared at it.

"What was that?" she asked Utsuho.

"It's a handshake. You've never shaken hands before?"

"Uh-uh. Why, what is it?"

"It's a…" Utsuho grimaced and looked at Orin, who rolled her eyes.

"It's a type of friendly greeting," Orin told her. "A sort of way to say 'Nice to meet you'."

"Oh. Why?"

"Dunno."

"Early warriors used it when they would meet under peaceful circumstances," Satori sat without even looking at them. "As a means to show that their hands were empty of weapons."

Flandre just looked confused. She held up Laevatein. "But I have-"

"I was merely explaining the gesture's origins. It has since evolved beyond its original purpose."

"That's enough, Flandre," Remilia hissed. "Face forward and sit still."

"But I was just talking," Flandre whined. "Why can't I talk to her?"

"Stop talking back and just do it."

Flandre sulkily obeyed. "You never let me do anything."

"Yes, I wonder why that is?" Remilia snapped. "And things will continue to be that way until you've proven to me that you can make rational decisions on your own. And associating yourself with such…" she shot Utsuho a nasty look "…unsavory figures shows the opposite."

"Unsavory?" Utsuho said in confusion.

Orin hissed. "Hey, back off. Jeez, what crawled up your blood-sucking butt and died, huh? She was just trying to be friendly."

"Mistress, please," Sakuya said into Remilia's ear. "These people have Yukari's ear. Upsetting them would just make our situation worse."

Remilia threw her hands up. "Fine!" she shouted. "You know what? Fine! Do whatever you want! It's clear that my educated opinion on these matters is not to be regarded, so why should I even waste my breath?"

With that, she crossed her legs, folded her arms and turned away from everyone to glower at the floor.

And uncomfortable silence passed, during which only Satori appeared to be unconcerned. Then Utsuho leaned forward and whispered to Flandre, "By the way, I really like your wings. Are they real?"

Flandre turned. "Thanks!" she said with a surprised grin. "And of course they're real! See?" She poked one of the crystals, demonstrating that it was solid.

"I, uh, didn't mean-"

"And hey, what's up with your cape? Are those real stars?"

As they talked, Orin leaned over to Satori. "Um, hate it admit it, but I might be with her tightass sister on this one. Maybe it's not such a good idea to let them become friends?"

"Perhaps," Satori murmured. "But would you like to be the one to tell them 'No'?"

"The bitchy one didn't have a problem with that."

"And you are going to hold up her judgment as any sort of standard? Besides, this operation will have enough infighting as it is. Perhaps a cross-team friendship will be beneficial."

Orin looked dubious. She glanced at the two incredibly powerful but not at all stable girls as they chatted away. "If you say so, boss."

…

"Personally, I don't see what all the fuss was about," Yuuka says. "I think it's adowable! Though I suppose there is small reason for concern. Imagine if those two went on a Girl's Night Out!" She sighs wistfully. "Ah, it would be magnificent! Of course, that's not likely to happen now that…But no, I'm getting ahead of myself. Come closer please, and take a look. Because things are about to become even more interesting."

…

Marisa sat on her bed, glowering balefully at her nearly empty house. The GPF had taken almost everything, leaving her with nothing but the bare essentials. Even the stuff she had rightful claim of ownership over was gone. Her books, her tools, her toys, all of it. And it was frustrating her to no end.

According to that complete Yukari's ass-kissing tool Kotohime Sonozika, everything she had borrowed long term was being returned to their original owners, and everything else would be eventually returned, sometime after they had finished with Yuuka.

Still, she was going to get some of her stuff back fairly soon. Any moment now, and the GPF would be by…

There was a knock at the door.

Grinning, Marisa said "Finally!" and hopped off her bed. She ran over to the door and opened it up.

As expected, Kotohime was there, followed by three of her thugs. One of them was carrying a heavy crate.

"Hey there!" Marisa said brightly. "Nice of you guys to stop by, ze! About time too. Was starting to worry you had tried to open it and blown yourselves up. Then I'd never get it back!"

The edge of Kotohime's mouth perked up in a wry smile but she didn't say anything. The captain of the GPF didn't look like she was doing so well. Her face was unusually pale and her eyes were gummy and bloodshot, as if she had not been sleeping well.

Marisa wondered how much she remembered about that. Mima claimed to have altered the memories of those she had attacked when she had tried to free Marisa, and there had been no retribution after they had awakened. Still, memory charms were notoriously finicky, especially when done to so many people. And as skilled as Mima was, something could always go wrong. It would be downright awkward if one of them were to suddenly remember and spill the beans. Or just went crazy.

However, none of those here seemed to know about being attacked by an angry ghost, so Marisa stepped to one side and said, "Well, come in, come in. Been looking like rain for awhile now, and you don't wanna get caught."

Kotohime motioned, and the four officers entered the house. Marisa followed them.

"So…" she said as they set the crate down. "How are things? Because no offense, but you really don't look so hot. And I mean that in every possible way. Also noticing that you're not talking much. Or at all. What's wrong, Kotocopout? Yukari's catgirl got your tongue?"

Kotohime rolled her eyes. She glanced over to one of the other officers, a short but stocky man who was bald save for a long thin ponytail, who said, "The captain has unfortunately injured her throat. Speaking causes her pain."

"Yeah?" Marisa said, trying to keep the alarm out of her voice. "And how'd that happen?"

Kotohime frowned at the floor. The man said, "We're not sure. It's probably just some kind of infection, but the doctor can't-"

Kotohime made a cutting motion with her hand.

"-and it's really none of your business. Now, here are the items you specified. Check them."

"Don't need to tell me twice, Lumpy," Marisa said. She entwined her fingers, flipped her palms around and cracked her knuckles. Then she sauntered over to the crate. She lifted the lid and grinned as she surveyed its contents.

Inside were most of her weapons. Her hakkero, her spellcards, a few handheld instruments that did interesting things to anything they were pointed at, her broom, some protective gear, and a few other oddments that anyone but a select few would have trouble identifying.

"Ah, hells yeah!" she said. Immediately she began to rearm herself. While Yukari had promised the chance to play around with her own spells, one could never be too prepared when going to war.

"So I'm really hoping you guys didn't mess with these babies," Marisa as she pulled on a pair of fingerless steel-reinforced leather gauntlets that covered the majority of her forearms. She squeezed her right hand into a fist and nodded in satisfaction. "I put a lot of work into getting them working just right," she said as she pulled her sleeves over the gauntlets. "And you know how it is when someone who clearly doesn't know what they're doing starts pawing through all the really delicate stuff."

Kotohime rolled her eyes again. The man that had been designated her speaker said, "We assure you, nothing was tampered with."

"Well, good," Marisa snorted. She started thumbing through her spellcards. "Because I can't stand it when amateurs screw things up, ze. Then I gotta go back and fix whatever damage they-"

Then the air filled with a constant humming. "Marisa," croaked a painfully scratchy voice.

Marisa blinked. She looked up at the GPF captain. Kotohime's partial smile had become a full-on smirk.

"Catch," she rasped. Then she tossed something Marisa's way.

Surprised, Marisa instinctively dropped her spellcards and snatched the object of the air. A second later and her brain kicked in and she immediately tossed it on the bed and leapt back.

"What the hell is with you?" she snapped at Kotohime. "Trying to trap me with some kind magic doodad? You think Yukari's gonna like that? Because I'm telling you, if I get crippled by some lame-ass bullshit she's gonna-"

The GPF officers started laughing. Even Kotohime managed a snicker, though it was obvious that it pained her.

"Wait, what's so funny?" Marisa demanded. She turned to look at the object. "What is that thing…Oh, you've got to be kidding."

It was a silvery tube with rounded ends, about ten inches long. And it was vibrating into her pillow.

"Found it. In your dresser," Kotohime whispered. "Thought you might. Need it back."

Her companions started laughing again. Her cheeks flushing a deep crimson, Marisa quickly snatched up the tube and switched it off.

"Assholes," she muttered. "Like you don't have one." Then, making sure it was out of their sight, she dropped the tube into her apron.

"Well?" she snapped over her shoulder. "You've dropped off my stuff and had your laugh. No more reason for you to stick around, right? So why don't you all just make like a tree and piss off?"

Kotohime snorted, though the grimace that followed showed that she regretted it. She nodded to her spokesman, who said, "We've been instructed to escort you to the citadel."

Marisa's jaw dropped. "What?" she said in disbelief. "Yukari said she'd be opening one of her gaps right here! It's gonna take me right there, ze! What do I need an escort for?"

"To make sure you go through it," he answered. "After all, having your weapons returned might just have been a ploy to give you the means to escape."

"Are you serious? There's so many godsdamned binding spells on this place now that I can't even go out the front door without getting tanned!"

"Is that right? What a shame. We're still going with you."

Marisa's gloved hands curled into fists. She was about to shout at them some more, but then she remembered something.

"Okay, fine," she said. "But you're gonna have to wait awhile. I'm still waiting on someone else to show up."

Kotohime stiffened, as did her cronies. "Who?" she rasped.

Marisa grinned. "Can't tell you. It's a surprise."

Kotohime took a menacing step forward. "WHO?" she said again with more emphasis.

"You'll see," Marisa said. "Any second now…"

…

"Ah, surprises," Yuuka says. "I love surprises. Even the nasty ones can be fun. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees…"

…

Even though the Gensokyo's Peacekeeping Force was the first of its kind in Gensokyo, Yukari still had a very thorough knowledge of how its counterparts in the Outside World managed their operations. As such, while the GPF was far from a carbon copy of a traditional police force, it still held discipline and level-headedness in a time of crisis in high regard.

Still, its members were (for the most part anyway) only Human. As such, even they should be given some leeway if, say, a certain someone known for a long history of antagonism toward their race, a mean streak and more power than should be allotted a single individual were to appear out of thin air right in front of them.

Marisa let her slow, sadistic grin grow even wider as she watched the black-wearing GPF officers, who had so recently acted so smug and superior as they laughed at her, cry out in fear and literally fall over each other as they scrambled away from the green-and-blue specter that had just appeared right in front the door.

"Hey there," she told Mima. "Nice entrance."

"I do try," Mima responded. She watched the terrified law enforcement officers with a look of absolute glee. "Well. Now, I may be wrong, but I don't believe they're happy to see me."

"Them? Nah. That's just their weird way of saying 'Hi'. It's a culture thing, ze."

The four officers had scampered against the far wall and were staring at Mima with bulging eyes full of horror. Kotohime was pointing at Mima and her mouth was moving, but no words were coming out.

"Hmmm. Say, Marisa?" Mima murmured. "Do they…ah…"

"Remember?" Marisa said in a low voice only Mima could hear. "Nope. Kotohime's got herself one hell of a sore throat, but she don't know why. You're cool."

"Huh. Well, good. Keep things simple." Mima floated over to the huddled mass of trembling bodies. The look of fear increased as they tried to move even further away from her. Unfortunately, there was a wall in the way.

"Good evening!" Mima said brightly. "Now, judging from your reactions, I must assume that Marisa here forgot to inform you of my arrival. It's okay though, she's been under a lot of stress. However, let me assure that you have nothing to fear. I am not here to fight, jailbreak, irritate or annoy. Quite the contrary, it has recently been made clear to me that my little Marisa here is working with Yukari of her own free will. And how could I stand in the way of that?" She folded her arms and favored them with her friendliest smile. This only seemed to terrify them further. "And so I came to act as a chaperone, to make sure nothing nasty happens to my little girl."

Marisa blushed furiously. "Aw, damn it Mima!"

Mima laughed. She playfully flicked off Marisa's hat and mussed her hair. "You know I only embarrass you because I love you."

"But people are watching!"

"Which makes it fun." She put the hat back and pecked Marisa on the cheek, which only brightened at the touch.

Mima turned back to still terrified but now also confused officers. "So if you'll be so kind to call up Yukari and order us a gap for two, I would be very much obliged. And much less inclined to bring down a rain of hellfire upon your cute little headquarters."

Kotohime stared up at her. She slowly pushed herself to her feet, not once taking her eyes off of Mima. Her men followed suit.

Once she was completely vertical, Kotohime held up her palm close to her face. There was brief flicker of static, and Yukari's tiny form appeared in the air above it.

"Captain, yes," Yukari said. "Has Marisa finished readying herself? We're just waiting on her."

"Problem," Kotohime coughed. Her gaze never strayed from Mima.

"Problem, you say?" Yukari's became cold steel. "Captain, I've had problems enough the last few days. I really don't need another one. What is it? And please don't tell me Marisa's escaped."

In answer, Kotohime moved her hand around so that Yukari's avatar had a good view of the rest of the room.

Mima smiled and waved.

The miniature Yukari in Kotohime's hand stood silently for a moment. Then she said, "Mima. Right. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised."

"No, you really shouldn't."

Yukari sighed. "Look. Mima. If you want to use my face as a dartboard, then I'll be more than happy to provide you the opportunity. However, I should point out that there are some things that you might not be aware of. For starters, Marisa isn't-"

"She's accepted the deal you offered her and is in fact enthusiastic about taking part in the hit on Yuuka," Mima finished for her. "Yes, she told me. And as much as it galls me, I really can't force her to change her mind."

"Damned straight," Marisa muttered. "Like to meet the punk who can."

"However, I do have more experience, shall we say, dealing with you than she does," Mima continued. "Plus, she seems adamant that I come along. So, despite it being against my better judgment, I've decided to put aside my grudge for the time being and lend her a hand."

The GPF officers murmured and exclaimed their surprise. Kotohime herself came very close to upsetting the virtual image in her hand.

"Wait, are you serious?" Yukari laughed. "Mima, I know you've told some whoppers in the past, but this takes the cake. What kind of gullible fool do you take me for?"

"The kind that's got too many things to worry about to afford one more maniac after her blood," Mima said. "And the kind who's about to throw down with an enemy that is capable of dealing more damage than you're comfortable with. Face it, Yakumo. You really need all the help you can get."

"Help? From you? Mima, I know you're history. You and loyalty have never really been on speaking terms. In fact, if memory serves, pretending to ally yourself with an enemy just so you can stab them in the back is a favorite tactic of yours."

"Ah, you know me so well. In which case, you probably have an entire room filled with countermeasures, designed specifically to counter my wiles. And now I'm giving you the opportunity to finally try them out!"

"So you are planning to backstab me?"

"Yes. But not until Marisa's finished with her part in this. She is looking forward to the coming battle, and I'd hate to disappoint her. So how does this sound? So long as Marisa is working with you, you have my word that I will do nothing to hinder your plans but will instead assist you in any way possible."

"Like a load of crap," Yukari said bluntly. "Get lost, Mima. I don't have time to deal with you now."

"Unfortunately, I'm not offering you a choice," Mima said. "You can either accept my offer and give me the duty of ensuring Marisa's survival, or I can go see if I can become an even greater nuisance than Yuuka. I've always been a competitive spirit." She turned to Marisa. "Get it? Competitive spirit?"

Marisa rolled her eyes. "Wah-wah-wah-wahhhhhhh…"

"No sense of humor. I know I trained you better than that." She turned back to Yukari. "So, what do you say?"

Yukari scratched her chin. "You do realize that you're attempting to blackmail me here. I really don't appreciate it when people do that. Just ask Remilia Scarlet."

"Already have. And I'm not making the same mistake as her. Rather, I'm simply asking that you allow me to ride along and help Marisa out. Once the battle is over and you have Yuuka's head on a platter, she and I will go our way, you go yours, and all debts will be settled. Come on, Yukari. You've had no problems with working with me up until this little unpleasantness."

"Yes, I have. But I suppose you raise some valid points. You're right. I do need all the help I can get, and quite frankly I don't want to worry about you running around and complicating things." Yukari thought for a moment longer. And then she said, "Very well. Come along if you must. But I must warn you. We are assembling at my citadel. Which is, as you know, one of my places of power. Try anything, and it will not go well. Furthermore, you are correct. I have been itching to try out those countermeasures. Don't give me a reason."

With that, Yukari's form vanished from Kotohime's palm. Less than a second later, one of her gaps opened up in the room, right in front of the front door.

"Whelp, doesn't get any more obvious than that," Marisa said. She stuck a thumb at the gap. "Wanna get going?"

"Of course." Mima turned to the GPF officers. "Well, my dear fellows? I believe you were sent here to provide an escort. Shall we be going?"

This was greeted by a chorus of whats and sounds of disbelief.

"Captain, she can't be serious," one of the officers said to Kotohime. "Don't you know who that is?"

"Seriously, this is lunacy," chirped in another. "Best to cut our losses and run."

Kotohime didn't answer. She looked at the two smiling witches and frowned.

Then she signaled toward the gap.

"Captain, are you serious?" said her former spokesman. "We can't-"

"We do. Our jobs," she rasped. "No…" she grimaced and touched her throat. "No complaints."

"But-"

The look she shot him could have melted steel.

"Such dedication," Mima noted. She slowly clapped her hands together. "Young lady, I applaud your sense of duty. Though I'd be careful if I were you. It's going to get you into trouble someday."

Kotohime sucked in a deep breath through her damaged throat and said, "Move your. Fucking. Ass."

Marisa flicked the brim of her hat and whistled. "Damn, I think you pissed her off."

"Indeed. Understandable, I suppose." Mima shrugged. "Well, let's go."

Mima led the way, with Marisa following close behind. After a moment of hesitation, Kotohime moved after them, her men reluctantly following suit.

As Marisa stepped through the gap, she was suddenly struck by a wave of doubt. She and Mima were willingly going through one of Yukari's gaps, which could take them literally anywhere. Who was to say Yukari wasn't lying to them? Who was to say she wasn't using this opportunity to dispose of them both with one swift motion? They could be stepping out into the heart of the sun for all she knew. Or maybe a black hole. A cool way to go, she had to admit, but if she was going to die, she really rather it were on her terms and not by the will of a power-hungry, word-twisting-

There was the noisy rush of the Borderlands, and then Marisa was stumbling out into the Court of Conflict. Mima was floating directly next to her, and Kotohime's people were already taking up position on either side of them. On one side, she could see some familiar faces already assembled and sitting.

"Well, that went okay," Marisa told Mima. "At least she didn't dump us-"

"MARISA!" an overjoyed voice shrieked.

Marisa looked up at the seats that lined the far wall. Her eyes widened when she saw an enthusiastic, energetic scarlet bundle of death hurtling toward her. Her heart fell, she took stock of her deeds in her mortal life and found them lacking. And, bizarrely enough, she found herself reciting something her father had been fond of quoting.

"Our Father, who art in Heaven…"

Fortunately, Mima's reflexes were considerably quicker than hers. Fast as a striking snake, she snatched up Marisa and moved them both out of the way, scattering the GPF officers like bowling pins in the process. Flandre Scarlet flew right through the space they had occupied and sailed right into Yukari's gap.

Everyone reacted immediately, with the most common response being surprise and alarm. "Flandre? Flandre?" Remilia cried as she swooped down to the floor, her maid close behind. "Come back!"

"…for ever and ever, amen," Marisa finished. She looked at the gap. "I cannot believe I still remember the whole thing. And I may be wrong here, but did she just get sent to my house?"

"Yes," Yukari said irritably, seemingly appearing the hell out of nowhere. She pushed her way past Marisa to glower at the gap. "To be specific, she is now a good twenty-six feet away from your house and does not seem to be losing momentum. Good thing Mima moved you when she did."

Marisa stared. "Wait, she didn't smash through the front, did she? I'm not gonna go home to find a big-ass hole where the door used to be, am I?"

"Of course not," Yukari said. "The gap was facing away from the door. Your door is fine. The back wall, however, is now missing its middle section."

"WHAT?"

Yukari sighed. "I'll make sure that gets fixed."

"Who cares about her bloody house?" Remilia screamed. She flew right up to Yukari's face. "Get me my sister back!"

Yukari's response was to grab the top of Remilia's head and hold her at arm's distance. "When was the last time you flossed?" she muttered, waving her free hand in front of her face. Then she snapped her fingers.

The gap turned onto its side so that it was now facing the ceiling. A second gap opened about ten feet above it. A moment later Flandre herself came swooping up through the bottom gap to disappear through the top, only to reappear where she started. This repeated over and over, so that there seemed to be a never-ending blurred line of red and white connecting the gaps.

"There, safe and sound," Yukari told Remilia. She released the small vampire. "Now do your job. Calm her, before I do."

Remilia needed no further urging. She soared over to the endless stream of Flandre.

"Flan!" she called. "Stop!"

"Huh?" Flandre said, her voice coming out strangely distorted. "What happened? First I went to say 'Hi' to Marisa, then I was in a forest, and now everything's all swooshy!"

"You're going through two of Yukari's gaps!" Remilia shouted. "Stop this instant!"

"I'm doing what?"

Flandre came to a sudden, abrupt stop. How she did it without being jarred by the force of her own momentum, Marisa could only guess. The young vampire looked up at the gap above her and then at the one below her. A look of horrification came over her face.

"Flandre, how many times do I have to tell you to control your impulses?" Remilia demanded. "You not only almost killed Marisa Kirisame, which I admit would be no great loss, but you threw yourself through the Borderlands! Multiple times in a row, I might add! Do you understand how incredibly foolhardy that was? Don't you remember what happened the last time you paid that place a visit?"

Flandre wasn't listening. Her blood-red eyes were searching the room. Her gaze came to rest upon Yukari, who was watching the exchange with equal parts annoyance and amusement. Flandre's eyes flashed bright red and she held up her right hand. Scarlet energies swirled around her palm.

Recognizing what her sister was doing, Remilia lunged forward and cried, "Flandre, don't! If you do that-"

Flandre snarled and squeezed her hand into a fist.

Marisa immediately flinched back. While she didn't completely understand the full extent of Flandre Scarlet's power, she knew enough to know that when the little vampire did that, someone was about to become more liquid than solid. And in this case, seeing how Yukari was standing very close, Marisa risked being drenched in a crimson shower.

Nothing happened.

Flandre blinked in surprise. She squeezed again, harder this time. Again, nothing. Again, and again, and again. She sputtered in rage and confusion as Yukari utterly failed to explode.

"Remilia," Yukari said. "Your little sister is attempting to murder me. And this comes not five minutes after she nearly bisected another member of this team and escaped into the Forest of Magic. Must I remind you that you were brought here to keep under control? Because if this proves to be too difficult, I will remove you and place her in the care of someone who can!"

Remilia's hand immediately snapped around Flandre's wrist, causing the gathered energies to disperse. "Flandre, stop that. Right now," she hissed. "Return to your seat."

"After I make her unto something like mud."

"No. You cannot. Quite literally. And you're making her angry and me look bad. Neither of these things are desirable, wouldn't you agree? So please. Calm down. Sit down. And stop acting like a child."

Flandre shot Remilia a look of pure venom. She tugged her arm out of her sister's grasp and slowly floated back toward her seat without another word.

Marisa breathed out in relief. She had no idea why Flandre had been so happy to see her. She had only actually met the little vampire on a handful of occasions, and none of them had exactly been the sort of things that would cement them as friends. Then again, Flandre so rarely saw those she actually lived with that perhaps she thought of any stranger she so happened to meet that didn't die upon the initial encounter as a dear friend. Which was kind of cute she supposed, but it just increased her own chances of being turned into a syrupy mess.

That was when Flandre so happened to glance down and, spying Marisa once again, completely forgot that she was supposed to be angry. Her scowl evaporated into a wide, fanged smile as she once again cried "MARISA!"

"Oh, here we go again," Marisa said as she stared at her impending death. "Hail Mary, full of grace-"

Flandre was once against stopped, this time by a flat, circular and transparent green shield that materialized in her path. "Mmmm, I don't think so," Mima said. "Yukari, you invite the strangest people to your parties."

"Don't I know it," Yukari said wearily. "Remilia?"

Her face the same color as her name, Remilia grabbed Flandre by both elbows. "What did I just tell you?" she demanded. "Stop that!"

"Hold up, now," Mima said. She passed through her own shield to stare at the Scarlet sisters.

"What do you want?" Remilia spat.

"What," Mima began. "Exactly are you two wearing?"

Remilia's jaw dropped. "What? Why does everyone ask that question? It's a uniform! Why is it so-"

"Because they're absolutely adorable!" Mima suddenly gushed. "Oh my goodness, look at you two! I've never see anything so cute in my life! And I live in a world of fairies!"

"What," Remilia said flatly. Flandre stopped struggling and stared curiously at the ghost.

"Your costumes! They're just so perfect!" Mima made a slight flourish and produced to shiny candy apples from her sleeves. She handed them to the two vampires. "Here you go, kids. Happy Halloween."

Marisa burst into explosive laughter. She fell to one knee and held her stomach as her body shook with hysterics.

Remilia was not so amused. She stared dumbstruck at the tasty treat in her hand. "Why…What is…How dare…" She snapped, and flung the caramel-glazed fruit at Mima's face. It passed harmlessly through and evaporated into a puff of steam upon impacting against the shield.

"I've had quite enough of this nonsense!" Remilia screamed. "Come on Flandre, we're…What the hell do you think you're doing?" Flandre had already enthusiastically bitten away a good third of her own apple. Remilia snatched it out of her hands and threw it away, to Flandre's obvious distress. "Don't eat that! You don't know what she might have put in it."

Mima shook her head. "You know, it's interfering moral busybodies like yourself that ruin perfectly harmless celebrations by increasing paranoia over silly urban legends and-"

"Shut up, Mima," Yukari snapped. "And for once I actually agree with the half-pint vampire. This nonsense has gone on long enough. You two." She pointed at the Scarlet sisters. "Sit down. If I hear so much as a peep from either one of you for the rest of this meeting, then you will see how difficult it is to fly when your legs have suddenly turned to lead!"

The red on Remilia's face was starting to darken to purple. She grabbed Flandre by the arm and dragged her back to their seats.

"As for you," Yukari said as she turned to Mima. "Was that absolutely necessary?"

The smile on Mima's face did not disappear, but it did decrease. "No. But she did try to make a move against Marisa, unsuccessful as it might have been. A little more humiliation was in order."

"Ah. Which brings us to a long overdue point. You claim that you're here to help, and yet you just antagonized those two for failing where I had succeeded. Not a very convincing argument for your goodwill."

"Yes, but as I said, I'm willing to postpone my grudge until Marisa's part in this is done," Mima said. "Until then, you have my cooperation."

"And after?"

Mima's smile returned to full strength. "I literally have eternity to make your life miserable," she said. "I can stand to wait a few days."

"For Marisa's sake?"

"Yes."

Yukari held her eyes for a moment. She slowly nodded. "Very well. You of course understand that I'm going to keep you on a short lease. Your concern for your former ward is touching, but I really can't trust anything you say."

"Likewise." Mima put her hands on her hips and looked around. "So, two infinitely powerful and notoriously untrustworthy women are forced into an alliance of mutual loathing. This should be interesting."

"Don't flatter yourself. I at least haven't been forced into anything. You're useful, not necessary." Yukari motioned with her head. "Please, go sit down, or whatever it is you do. And try to avoid open chaos."

Mima shot off a mocking salute and floated over to Marisa, who was finishing composing herself after her fit of laughter.

"So, what's the word, ze?" Marisa said. "We good?" She nodded over to Yukari, who was whispering something into Ran's ear. Ran nodded and excused herself from the room, presumably on some errand.

"For the time being." Mima said. "She and I are still probably going to try to kill each other later, but we've agreed to postpone that for the time being. By the way, why in the world was that psychotic vampire so happy to see you?"

"Hey, you got me," Marisa shrugged. "She's crazy, could be anything. I've only actually met her like three or four times. Maybe she's got a crush on me or something."

"How distressing."

"Tell me about it. I mean, Alice is bad enough. Can you imagine what it would be like to have Flandre stalking you?"

"Yes, actually. I've had my fair share of-" Mima blinked. She turned to stare at her protégé. "Wait, did you just say…Are you telling me that Shinki's estranged girl is-"

Marisa waved her hand dismissively. "Nah, just kidding. Usually I stalk her. In the middle of the night. In that tree right outside her window. With one hand holding the binoculars and the other down my-"

"And with that, I believe it's time we stopped talking and took our seats. I'm sure Yukari would like to begin, and I really don't wish to hear any more."

Marisa shrugged. "Yeah, okay. One question though."

"Ask."

"Why are they still here?" Marisa said, sticking her thumb over her shoulder at Kotohime and her men. For their part, the GPF officers were standing and staring at the bizarre people doing bizarre things, clearly unsure of what they were supposed to be doing.

Yukari apparently had overheard Marisa, as she turned and said, "Hmmm? Oh, right. Sorry Captain. You all may go now." A gap opened itself to take them away from the citadel.

Her face filled with relief, Kotohime straightened and saluted. She motioned, and they gratefully moved to leave the tower of crazy people.

…

"Exit, stage left," Yuuka murmurs. "Wise of them too. So many violent people in that room, with destructive abilities, uncontrollable urges, intelligences ranging from the dangerously stupid to cruelly intelligent and a tendency to hold a grudge."

…

When all mortals incapable of demolishing mountains had left the room Yukari said, "Well, now that the pre-meeting festivities have finally finished" she shot a dirty look over to the Scarlet sisters "we're almost ready to begin. We're just waiting on two more people, and then everyone will be here."

"Excuse me?" Remilia said, evidently forgetting that she was supposed to remain silent. "Two more? How much more firepower do you need?"

Yukari evidently decided to give Remilia a pass. "All of it," she said. "Now, try not to cause any more problems in the meantime. I'd really hate to kick things off with the death of one of our own."

"Was a day when that was common practice," Mima said to Marisa as they headed toward the small cluster of strange people in the seats. "Of course, those ended when people lost their balls for ritual sacrifice. Ah, nostalgia."

"Damn, why do you ancient types get to have all the really cool traditions?"

"Nothing's stopping you from bringing them back." Mima glanced up to the cluster of strange people gathered in the high seats. "Now, it seems we got off on the wrong foot with our fellow assassins. Shall we go up and try to make amends?"

"Why?" Marisa blinked. "Can't think of anyone up there I actually like, ze. And it's not like I'm gonna be visiting them anytime…Oh. You just wanna mess with them some more, don't you?"

"Oh, so very much," Mima said agreeably. "Specifically, Satori. I've been meaning to talk to the cave-dweller about her part in all this."

"Sounds good to me." Marisa cracked her leather-bound knuckles. "And I need to have a few words with little Remi about trying to have me arrested."

Mima frowned. "Hmmm, now that I think of it, taking you near that group might not be the best idea."

"Why? Afraid Fangs is gonna try something?"

"No, but her sister might."

"Hey, I've handled Psycho-Vamp before."

"In danmaku duels, certainly. But I doubt anything of the sort is going to take place here." Mima pointed out. "Besides, Yukari may have stopped her from blowing people up for the time being, but if she were to suddenly be overcome with the urge to hug you again…"

Marisa paled. "Um, yeah. Better part of discretion and all that, ze. Tell you what, you go up and talk to Three-Eyes, and I'll just wait down here."

"Excellent. Glad to see you still possess some measure of common sense."

Marisa winced. "Not cool, Master."

Mima kissed her forehead. "You know it's because I love you. Now, this will take just a minute."

She floated up toward the representatives of the Scarlet Devil Mansion and the Palace of Earth Spirits. To her amusement, Remilia's little sister had seemed to have hit it off with Satori's Hell-Raven. Flandre now had Utsuho's astronomic cape tied around her neck and was apparently mesmerized by the movements of the celestial bodies, whereas Utsuho was trying on Flandre's helmet. Strangely enough, Remilia, who was never known for encouraging her sister to seek out social interactions, was doing her best to ignore all this. Mima had the feeling that she had not been the first to embarrass the little vampire today.

Good.

However, Remilia Scarlet was not her target. Mima's sapphire eyes focused on the tired-looking girl with short, pale lavender hair sitting on the topmost row. Throughout all the chaos that Mima and Marisa's arrival had brought, she had sat silently without reaction. Indeed, Mima's approach merely brought upon a raised eyebrow.

"What, not even a nod of acknowledgement?" Mima said, passing directly over Remilia's head. The vampire hissed but was apparently taking Yukari's warning to heart. Mima settled into the chair

"Mima," Satori said without inflection.

"In the ectoplasm. Interesting to see you here, by the way. I wasn't aware that Yukari had you under any sort of hold."

"She does not."

"Oh? You owe her for something then? Paying off a debt?"

"No. Our participation is voluntary."

"Is that right?" Mima settled in the empty chair at Satori's left. "Seems a bit dangerous if you ask me. And for no profit at all."

"The alternative is to participate in a hunt for a creature that may very well be more dangerous," Satori said. "It is a simple matter of weighing the possible paths and choosing the one that poses the least chances of a fatality."

"Is that right? So, she said you can sit out the Satsuki hunt in return?"

"Yes."

Mima nodded. "Smart. Though I never thought I'd see the day when Yuuka Kazami would become the lesser of two evils. So tell me something, Komejii: you haven't been arrested like Marisa or coerced like this one here." A portion of Mima's tail snaked out to nudge Remilia's head. The little vampire slapped at it and growled. "So that means you aren't in Yukari's bad books. Which means she's still listening to you." Mima leaned in closer, propping her elbows on her armrest and resting her chin in her hands. "So how much of this was your idea?"

"My idea?"

"Come on, I saw you walking in late with Yukari the last time we were here. You two are obviously in cahoots about something."

Satori turned to the redheaded catgirl sitting next to her. "Orin, would you please keep an eye on Utsuho? The ghost and I need to have a private conversation."

Orin frowned. "Uh, you sure about that?" she said, looking at Mima. "She ain't exactly trustworthy."

"She won't try anything. Not here, at least."

"If you say so, boss," Orin said dubiously.

"I do. This shouldn't take long."

"It won't," Mima promised.

The two of them moved to the opposite side of the row. Mima made sure to position herself between Satori and the view of her pets.

Once they had settled, Satori said, "You suspect me of masterminding…"

Mima did something.

"…your protégé's…" Satori blinked. "Arrest?"

Mima waved off that idea. "Nah, Yukari was planning on that even before Yuuka showed up. No, I'm just wondering who gave her the idea of taking everyone who had wronged her and throwing them at Yuuka."

"She…" Satori paused and started again. Something was clearly bothering her. "She is perfectly capable of coming up with such ideas on her own."

"Oh, sure, sure," Mima smirked. "You're right, I'm just being silly and paranoid in my old age. But something's really got me bothered. Why is it that as soon as Yuuka challenged her, Yukari warned me not to tell anyone, only to change her mind minutes later after talking to you?"

"I ran into her in the hallway and advised her not to withhold that information. Mima…Why are you…"

"Did you know? That was considerate of you. Were there any other suggestions as well? Such as how the immensely powerful witch that Yukari was planning to seize could be used as a weapon?"

Satori finally turned to look at her. "How…how long do you plan on doing that?"

"Doing what?" Mima said innocently.

"That…that music. Those songs you are playing in your head. Do you intend to have them going the whole time?"

"What, you don't like it? It's quite popular in the Outside World, at least in certain western cultures. They call it 'Country Music', presumably because it originated from those who worked and lived on the open country. Quite catchy too. Once you get it stuck in your head, it's impossible to get it out."

Satori's already heavy lids dipped even further. "You are planning on doing this the whole meeting, aren't you?"

"I don't know, are you planning on having that Third Eye of yours open the whole time?" When Satori didn't answer, Mima said, "Thought so. Still, if it bothers you so much, perhaps a little change in tempo is in order."

Mima mentally changed tracks.

This time, Satori's eyes actually popped wide open. She stiffened in her chair and started shaking all over.

"What…" she gasped. "What in…"

"Oh, this? Just a little diddy by another Outside World artist. Fellow by the name of 'Fighter Kid' or 'Warrior Child' or something to that effect. I quite like it, though I have to admit the lyrics don't make any sense to me. Tell me, what does it mean to 'Superman a Hoe'? Are they referring to the gardening tool? And how would one Superman it? That sounds all kinds of unpleasant."

Satori closed her eyes. She grimaced. "This is horrific. Please, stop this immediately."

"Oh, very well," Mima said. "I supposed I've worn out my welcome. But one last thing. The next time you decide to suggest that certain witches be used for certain plots, remember that sometimes those witches know even bigger witches, and those witches can have a real mean streak." She leaned in close and restarted the song. "YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU!" she called in accompaniment.

Snickering to herself, Mima left the distressed Satori to rejoin Marisa on the floor.

"What was that all about?" Marisa asked.

"Oh, just clearing the air," Mima said. "I'll say this for Satori, she at least has taste."

"Huh?"

Mima waved off the question. "Never mind. At any rate, it looks like you do have her to thank for your inclusion in this game. I gave her something to ponder on in return, so there's no need for you to seek out revenge."

Marisa cleared her throat. "Uh, Mima? Remember how I said I actually want in on this and how it's a hell of lot better than sitting in a jail cell?"

"Oh. Yes, you did." Mima shrugged. "Well, I'll send her an apology card later. In the meantime, we'd better find seats of our own, preferably away from the crowd. I for one am curious about these mysterious other members of our team."

"Yeah, I was wondering about that," Marisa said. She hopped on her broom and the two spellcasters took to the air and made their way to the seats across from where the others were located. "Who do you think it is?"

"Not sure. Maybe Suika and another Deva." Mima settled her being into one seat as Marisa sat down next to her. "I suppose we'll find out." The ghost's eyes narrowed. "Odds are, I'm not going to like it."

…

"And I don't blame her!" Yuuka shouts, though the sudden action makes her flinch in pain. She takes in a slow, deep breath, holds it for several seconds and lets it out. "I'm sorry, it's just…Why would anyone associate with such monsters? Despicable ones at that. Murderous, ill-mannered, completely without respect for the lines that aren't to be crossed…"

…

Yukari stood near the court's insanely tall door, waiting for Ran to return. Out of the corner of her eye she watched as Mima took Satori aside for what she supposed to be a private conversation. That was uncharacteristically foolish on Satori's part. While Mima was in no position to use any of her spells, the ghost had a mean streak several miles long. And she was creative enough to not need magic to satisfy it.

A small nudge to the border of audibility and inaudibility and Yukari listened.

True to form, Mima's intent for talking to Satori was malicious in nature. Yukari sighed as Mima smugly left her prey to rejoin her little witch. At least it was nothing worse than irritating music, but still…

Yukari sought out Satori's mind, felt those horrible notes as they repeated over and over, and gently weeded them out, making her forget them entirely. Satori blinked. She looked down to Yukari, who smiled and gave her a small affirming wave. Satori nodded her thanks and quickly moved to rejoin her pets.

Yukari shook her head. It was ironic that the very ability that made Satori so useful as an information gatherer also made it extremely easy to break her. No wonder she didn't go out much.

Still, that little incident, combined with Remilia Scarlet's recent humiliation (as entertaining as it had been) only confirmed what Yukari had been suspecting. Even here, in the heart of enemy territory, Mima was pursuing her petty grudges. As useful as her power would be in the coming battle, she needed to be kept under control. Satori couldn't do it, Remilia most certainly couldn't do it, Yukari herself would be too busy to keep an eye on her, and she was not about to risk Ran. Shinki and Sariel were straight out, Byakuren would definitely not do it, Kanako might have had a chance, but not a large enough one to risk the Youkai Mountain's popular new deity and everyone else were either too weak or unwilling to get involved. Which meant…

Yukari smiled when Ran sent her a confirmation. The final two members of Operation: Defoliation were on their way.

She turned and said, "All right, thank you for waiting. Looks like the rest of the gang is almost here. We can soon begin."

"About time," Mima remarked. "Though the delay seems unnecessary. Why didn't you just gap them straight here?"

"It wasn't a matter of distance traveled," Yukari said. "They arrived here with me. They just needed to finish something first."

"Oh? And what would that be?"

"Dinner, I believe."

"Huh? Dinner?" Marisa said in an incredulous tone. "Wait, they think eating dinner was more important than your big, super-secret Yuuka killing meeting thing? And you let them get away with it?"

"Given the persons in question, yes. When it comes to such matters, saying 'No' can be rather difficult."

"Wait," Mima said, her brows knitting together as the pieces came together. "You're not saying…"

Almost as if on cue, the two heavy obsidian doors swung open, revealing three people on the other side. One of them was Ran, who was standing with her heavy sleeves covering her clasped hands, the perfect picture of detached serenity. Just like always. Nothing particularly noteworthy there.

The other two, however, inspired much more in the way of comment. Remilia Scarlet actually leapt to her feet in surprise, causing all of those ridiculous medals she was wearing to rattle. Sakuya Izayoi almost jumped out of her seat as well, until she remembered that open shock would ruin the whole "Perfect and Elegant Maid" image she liked to convey. Orin, who was under no such compulsion, whistled and said "Daaaaammmnnnn." However, Utsuho, who was still wearing Flandre's helmet, just looked confused. Flandre herself was likewise bewildered.

"Remi?" she said in a loud whisper. "Who're they?"

Remilia blinked. She sat back down and laid a palm over Flandre's hand. "Flandre? Do you remember how I once told you that there might come times in which I will be delighted to explain everything afterward but for the time being remaining silent would be in our best interests?"

"Uh, kind've."

"Now would definitely be one of those times."

But it was the reactions from the magic practitioners that were the most amusing. Marisa was staring slack-jawed, apparently at a loss for words. As for Mima, the ghost was starting to hunch over, her fingers gripping tightly at her armrests. Yukari had a feeling that she was now putting two and two together and did not like the look of four.

For their part, the newcomers did not seem overly concerned about their less than enthusiastic welcome. The shorter of the two was standing patiently, mimicking Ran's detachment. The other simply looked around in gentle interest and said, "Now, Youmu."

"Yes, my lady?"

"It seems these people are surprised to see us, Youmu."

"Yes, my lady."

"Many of them seem familiar. Have we met these people, Youmu?"

"Yes, my lady. We have worked with the purple-haired vampire and her maid in the past, during the endless night incident. You've also known Satori Komejii for years. As for the human witch-"

"Hey, it's the ghostly girls!" Marisa shouted in delight. She slipped out of her seat and quickly hopped from one chair to the next, all the way to the ground.

"Damn, I didn't know you guys were gonna be here, ze!" she said as she ran up to the pair. "Where the hell have you been? I thought I'd see you at that Ringleader bullshit of a meeting."

"Miss Kirisame," Youmu said graciously. "Our apologies. We were out and missed the call."

"Hey, no big. You're out having fun, stuff gets missed. And stop looking so stiff!" Marisa held out her right hand, fingers curled in a fist. "Come on, Doubletrouble. Don't leave me hanging."

Youmu blinked. "What? Oh, right. That thing you showed me." She hesitated, and then slowly pushed her own fist against Marisa's.

"That's more I like it, ze!" Marisa laughed. She turned and held her open palm in the air. "Up high, Yuyuko!"

Clearly bemused but not at all bothered by Marisa's familiarity, Yuyuko returned the high-five.

"All right! That's what I'm talking about." Marisa then looped an arm over both their shoulders and led them into the room. "So, haven't seen either of you for months! What you've been up to? Still treating the world like one big buffet?"

"A buffet would be nice," Yuyuko said wistfully. "Though as we recently discovered, peaches can be dangerous."

"Peaches, huh? You're telling me. You think they're all sweet and scrumptious, and the next thing you know you're biting into one of those gross soft spots. And then the juice gets everywhere and you're all sticky for none of the fun reasons."

As everyone stared as the single youngest person in the room chatted away with the eternal lord of Gensokyo's dead, Yukari looked up at Mima. The Evil Spirit was fuming. Apparently she had her own ideas as to why Yuyuko had suddenly entered the game.

Yukari smiled. As awful as the situation was, it did come with its small rewards.

"All right," she said to the staring room. "That's everybody then. Shall we begin?"

…

Yuuka idly scratches at her ruined cheek. The large crystals on her fingers glimmer in the shade of the umbrella. "I must admit, it is odd to see so many people sit around and talk about how to kill me. I should be offended, but I can't help but find it flattering."

…

"Now, first things first," Yukari said. She had taken her customary place in the throne of the Youkai Queen. At the topmost seats to her left were the magicians and ghosts. To her right were the vampires, maid and denizens from the Underground. All told, ten people in all. Hardly enough to justify the use of a room that could seat ten dozen, but it gave her an excuse to sit in the big chair and look down on people. She had come to terms with her narcissism a long time ago.

"It appears that I need to clear something up," she continued. "This is not a war council. It is not a strategy session. It is not a meeting of the minds, a collaboration on a battle plan or an open forum. The time and place have already been decided. I have already privately spoken to everyone worth speaking to" she indicated first Satori and then Yuyuko "and the battle plan has been written out. So this little get-together serves one purpose and one purpose only. I tell you what your jobs will be, and you promise to carry them out. Am I understood?"

Yukari watched as this was greeted by nods, some of them genuine, others sullen and resentful. She went on. "I couldn't care less what kind of ideas you have, so if anyone is foolish enough to speak out of turn, you will regret it. As it stands, half of you either had no choice or only agreed to assist because the alternatives were worst. Do your part well, and the score will be settled between us. Clean slate. But until then, make no mistake. We are not friends. We are not true allies. This is penance. And whether or not you come out of this with clean records is entirely up to me. So, please try not to get on my bad side." Here she shot a meaningful look, first to Remilia and then to Mima and Marisa.

"Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's get to the meat. As you all know, I am currently dealing with a bit of a pest. A pest named Yuuka Kazami." Again, there were nods all around, combined with a scattering of smirks. "It seems that the hullabaloo caused by Rin Satsuki's escape has drawn her out. Presumably, she's looking to capitalize on the chaos for the sheer hell of it. And she's so confident in her own abilities that she's been getting her kicks by harassing me personally. Thus far, she's stirred up a great number of the wild youkai through that damned bounty, attacked and tortured a number of GPF officers, harmed both of my Shikigami and killed three humans, all the while dancing around and saying 'Nyah nyah, try to stop me!'"

Yukari steepled her fingers in front of her face. "I am about to show her the error of her ways. And you're going to help."

The lights dimmed, and in the center of the room an illusion came to life. It was a three dimensional map of a barren wasteland, showing the surface of the earth, the sky above and about a mile of the earth below.

"Despite her taste for pandemonium, Yuuka does at least observe some of the more traditional rules of combat. Fortunately, it is those rules that allow me, as the challenged, to choose the time and place. The time will be noon this Saturday. The place will be here, in the Blasted Lands."

She motioned with one hand, and the map started to rotate. "Nearly twelve square miles of wasteland, the Blasted Lands are mainly known for its canyons, large networks of underground caverns and for being the single most infertile place in all of Gensokyo. Barely anything grows there at all. As such, it is also the least populated area. Which makes it the perfect place to battle someone known for using plants as weapons without worrying about collateral damage. But as I have recently discovered, Yuuka possesses many plants from outside of Gensokyo, some of which might even thrive in such an environment. So as a precaution, the entire ground will be temporarily poisoned."

This pronouncement was met with surprised reactions and mutterings. Yukari said, "Don't worry. As I said, the place will be returned to normal immediately after Yuuka's elimination. And it's harmless to you. Just try not to eat the dirt."

She had to resist a titter of laughter when she saw that Yuyuko actually looked disappointed. Not that it would hurt her anyway. Yukari moved her will, and the map stopped spinning. It sank partway into the ground, and a section of the surface started blinking yellow.

"The actual fight will take place here, on the Skillet Plateau. In addition to being the widest flat surface, it also has the most solid ground beneath it, with none of the caverns beneath that the rest of the area contains. This should keep the battlefield as level as possible, and her out in the open."

Yukari's eyelids dipped. "That's where you people come in. I'm going to be dividing you into three teams, and hiding you in other parts of the Blasted Lands, far enough from the battlefield to avoid attracting her attention." The map immediately rose up again, and three different caves in three different locations along the far ends of the area were highlighted with red circles. "When the time is right, I'll be bringing you in, one at a time. Given the powers and…personalities present, it would be best if you weren't at play at the same time. Get in, do your job, and get out to make room for the next team. Got it?"

Without waiting for affirmations, Yukari said, "Now, the first team will be composed of Marisa Kirisame, Mima and Youmu Konpaku, with Yuyuko Saigyouji acting as team leader. Given the number of spellcasters and spirits, you will be known as 'Team Halloween'."

That got a grin out of Marisa and a laugh out of Yuyuko. Mima, however, did not look amused.

"Now, I will work to move Yuuka toward the center of the plateau and keep her isolated and distracted. When that happens, you will receive a signal in the form of a flashing light, which will turn into a gap within five seconds. It will take you to the far end of the plateau, with another gap at the opposite end. Enter the first gap immediately and make for the second one as fast as you can. And on your way, I want Marisa and Mima to rain hell down. Yuyuko and Youmu will provide support and prevent any of Yuuka's surprises from reaching you, so I want you to take all that firepower and devastate the area. But save the best stuff for Yuuka herself. The second gap will take you back to your hiding place, and I will collect you once everything's over. In and out. Understood?"

Yuyuko and Youmu indicated that they did. Marisa looked disappointed, but she reluctantly nodded. Mima did not move at all.

"Now, for the second stage, Satori and her pets will move in. Their name is Team Fire, which acts as both a descriptor and a job description. As soon as Team Halloween has left the area I will open a gap to your location, which will bring you directly above Yuuka. When that happens, your job is simple." She locked eyes with Satori. "Scorched earth. Utsuho Reiuji will concentrate her power upon Yuuka herself, while Rin Kaenbyou will fill the air with flame, so as to eliminate any of her airborne tricks that Team Halloween might have missed. Spores, petals and the like. I will ensure that none of the fallout leaks beyond the area, so don't hold back. Satori, make sure they stay coordinated, and do not remain longer than seven seconds, ten at the absolute most. Again, move in and move out."

"I understand," Satori said.

"And for the coup de grace, we turn to Team Vampire. Remilia, your gap will open as soon as Team Fire starts to make their exit. You will appear on a large stone pillar just outside of the plateau. If the pillar is destroyed by then, then you'll appear in the air where its top used to be. You can fly, deal with it. And as soon as you exit, there are two things that are to happen. First, the maid is to freeze time." She looked at Sakuya. "As I understand it, you can allow others to continue moving once you have activated that pocketwatch of yours, correct?"

The maid nodded. "So long as I retain physical contact with them upon activation."

"Excellent. Make sure you do so. And when that happens, it is time for us to end the fight. Flandre, you will take Yuuka's eye in your hand, and crush her. By then, she should be weakened enough so that-"

"No," Flandre said.

Remilia looked scandalized. "Flan, what are you doing?" she said, gripping Flandre by her shoulders. "Haven't you been paying attention? We don't have a choice here!"

"Don't care," Flandre said as she folded her arms. "I don't wanna."

"You don't…Why you obstinate little brat!" Remilia cried. Do you want to bring more horrors upon us? Don't you think I've suffered enough?" Remilia turned to Yukari with wide, pleading eyes. "I'm…I'm so sorry about her behavior! I don't know what's gotten into her, I swear-"

"Calm down, stop talking, and sit down," Yukari commanded. Shaking, Remilia obeyed.

Yukari addressed Flandre next. "Miss Scarlet, am I to understand that you are refusing to do your part in all this?"

Flandre's response was to stick out her tongue.

"Really. And you do understand that your sister is correct, that you do not have a choice in this matter?"

"Don't care. 'Sides, Sakuya's gonna make you freeze like everything else, right?" Flandre let out a slightly deranged laugh. "You can't make me do anything!"

Yukari rolled her eyes and smirked. "Oh, I can't? Miss Scarlet, must I remind you who you're talking to?" When Flandre frowned, Yukari leaned in closer and said, "Let me put it like this. I walk the boundaries of time and space, and I've been doing it long enough to know exactly how to manipulate them however I wish. Miss Izayoi's power, while impressive, still operates using those same boundaries. And as long as it does, it still must bend to my will. Especially if I know it's coming."

"So all that to say this. Yuuka will be frozen. But I will not. So yes, I will still be able to make you do whatever I want."

Flandre gaped. "But that's cheating!"

"Cheating? Of course it is. This whole operation is about cheating. We are going to be cheating to kill Yuuka, and I will be cheating to make sure you do your job. Understand, Miss Scarlet, that despite your overwhelming power, it means nothing to me. You are a purely destructive force with absolutely no finesse whatsoever. And even the strongest man in the world can be felled by a child if hit in the right place with the right weapon. Even a diamond can be shattered if struck at the right angle. And there is not an angle I do not know."

Flandre bared her fangs and snarled. It looked for the world that, disadvantage and consequences be damned, she was going to try to murder Yukari again.

"Don't even think about it," Yukari said evenly. "And while you're at it, don't think about trying to assassinate me along with, or instead of, Yuuka. I've stopped your power from working on me twice already, and I'll do it again. And if you decide to rebel, I will become upset with you. And do you know what happens to people I am upset with?"

The map suddenly burst into flames. Those who either didn't see it coming (everyone except Satori) or were in the least be vulnerable to fire cried out and shielded themselves from the inferno. Flandre herself was so startled that she immediately leapt into the air and flew to the far corner of the ceiling, where she clung and screeched in terror.

To Yukari's partial surprise, it was not Remilia who immediately flew to her side, but Utsuho Reiuji, with a worried Orin close behind to bring Utsuho back. This was a bit of an unforeseen development. If those two developed any sort of close relationship, it could further complicate things.

She sighed and glanced over to Satori. Make sure she still does her job, she thought. Satori glanced at her and nodded to indicate that the message had been received.

Yukari flicked her fingers and the flames ceased immediately. "I take it we understand each other," she said to the terrified Flandre, who was shaking in the arms of Utsuho, who in turn was ignoring the tugging at her sleeve and frantic pleas of Orin. "You don't have to like me. Place my picture on your wall and use it for target practice if it makes you feel better. But until this is over, you do what I say. And if any moves against me, they will be added to my list of threats. People on that list do not last long. Remember that."

Utsuho pushed off Orin and turned her head to glare at Yukari. "You jerk!" she shouted. "She's just a kid! Why do you have to-"

"She tried to murder me minutes after her arrival. She was about to try again. I'm not giving anyone any leeway here. You follow my rules, or you pay. Now, sit back down. All three of you."

"Come on, Okuu," Orin murmured. "Let's go back."

"But-"

"Utsuho. Orin. Come back here, please," Satori said. She didn't get up or raise her voice, but the command was there.

"And the same goes for you, young lady!" Remilia was quick to throw in. "Come back here this instant!"

There was a brief moment of hesitation, and Utsuho allowed Orin to lead her back. She kept one arm protectively around Flandre, which just made Yukari roll her eyes. Well, birds of a feather…

"What have I been telling you this whole time?" Remilia demanded in a loud whisper as soon as they returned. She shoved a finger at Flandre's seat. "Now, sit down and behave!"

Flandre positioned herself in Utsuho's lap and shook her head.

"What?" Remilia gaped. "Was that a 'No'? How dare you! You have been nothing but disobedient this whole-"

"Remilia, may we continue?" Yukari called. "I really don't care where she sits, so long as she is sitting."

"I…Yes," Remilia said. She quickly sat back down and stared at the ground.

"Thank you. And just to reiterate for all of you, I am well aware that very few of you like me. But seeing how I am standing between your home country and potential apocalypse, you are just going to put up with me. Try to sabotage me, and you leave Yuuka free to wreak havoc. Which in turn allows the Shadow Youkai to pick up her rampage and set Gensokyo aflame. If that happens, you're on your own when she shows up on your doorstep. But if you're willing to work with me and not get in my way, I do my best to keep you alive."

When she got her murmured agreement, Yukari decided to continue. "Now, to pick up where we left off. Once Flandre has caused Yuuka to…spontaneously combust, Sakuya will restart time and Team Vampire will immediately fall back. When that happens, I will use one of these."

She reached into her robe and extracted four round crystals, each the size of a large marble and completely clear. She held them out and rolled them in her hand, letting a light illuminate them and reflect off the hundreds of tiny facets.

"These crystals are constructs, each of them containing an extremely powerful sealing spell. As you know, once a youkai, fairy or other similar immortal is killed, their body dissolves into its life energies, which in time reconstructs into a new body. And as soon as one of these comes into contact with this energy, it activates, immediately sucking it in and trapping it. Once that happens, it takes an unbelievable amount of power to crack the crystal and release the captured energy. Yuuka will be prevented from resurrecting and rendered helpless. She will be finished, and your obligations will be fulfilled."

Yukari extinguished the light and put the crystals away. "Now, I understand that we are dealing with a notoriously unpredictable enemy here, and that the first casualty with the enemy is always the plan. Despite our preparations, something might very well go wrong. If this is to happen, I expect you to take advantage of your own prowess and improvise. But whatever you do, do not allow her to escape. Try to keep her within the boundaries of the plateau."

Mima loudly cleared her throat. "And if she is to discover our hiding spots before the battle actually begins?"

Yukari glared at her, wondering if she should reprimand her for the interruption, but relaxed. The ghost had a point, after all. "Again, do your best to draw her out into the open. But if the worst-case scenario was to happen and you find yourselves cornered, then once again you're going to have to work with what you've got. Fortunately, each team has a significant amount of firepower at its disposal. Stick together, help each other, and try to summon help from me and the other teams. If you can't and are incapable of escaping, try to kill her. Each team will be provided with a sealing crystal of your own, in the off-chance that you manage to kill her yourself. In addition, you also will be armed with some of my personal equipment, in addition to your own. Use it well and use it wisely."

Then she glowered. "Oh, and on a side-note, these crystals were designed by me, and will not work on me. So don't get any…Wait. What?"

Yukari stared in disbelief. Marisa's right hand was sticking straight up and waving about. And she was using her left to point insistently to the right.

"Marisa," Yukari said flatly. "Maybe you decided to sleep through the last five minutes. This is not a Question and Answer session. Did you completely miss the part where I'm not tolerating interruptions?"

"Hey, hey, easy there," Marisa said, defensively holding up her gloved palms. "I'm not trying to piss you off, ze. You hold all the cards, I get that. I just really need something cleared up."

"This better be good. Because otherwise, you'll be finding yourself with considerably fewer fingers."

Mima leaned back in her chair with half-lidded eyes and calmly cracked her knuckles.

"Okay, gotcha," Marisa said, a fresh sweat breaking out on her forehead. "It's just…those crystal thingies. They're like super-powerful youkai traps, right? Well, what if Yuuka ain't a youkai?"

Yukari rubbed her chin. "Hmmm, you'll need your thumbs to operate your weapons. The middle-fingers maybe? It might do wonders for your attitude."

Marisa paled. "Hey, w-wait a minute! I'm serious here! She's like a really weird-ass immigrant, right? From outside of Gensokyo? What if she ain't a youkai, and is just pretending to be one to blend in?" She shrugged her shaking shoulders. "I-I just wanna make sure this whole plan will still work out, you know?"

"Fascinating. And…where exactly comes this theory?"

"From me, actually," Mima said.

"Oh really? Based upon what evidence?"

"From my own encounters with the lady in question," Mima murmured. "And as much as I'd hate to ruin your carefully constructed strategy, I'm afraid it isn't a question of 'if' she's something other than a youkai. No offense, but I'm surprised you haven't noticed it yourself."

Yukari raised an eyebrow. "Is that right? And what is she, exactly?"

"That I was unable to discern, unfortunately."

"Fascinating. Well, you can fill me in on all the details later. But to answer your prodigy's question, these crystals are not youkai-specific. They will work on any sort of supernatural creature. And whatever she is, I think we can all agree that Yuuka certainly qualifies."

"True enough," Mima said. "I just hope they're enough."

"These things can contain a dragon. They're enough."

"Can they? You know, I've always wondered what happened to that Dragon God fellow…"

"Hilarious. Now, if that's everything," Yukari said in a voice that left no question that it damned well better be. "Then you all will need to go finish making preparations of your own. Be quick about it, and prepare to leave early Saturday morning…Yes, Yuyuko?"

Yuyuko put her hand down. "Yes, I was wondering if breakfast will be provided?"

"Sure, why not?" Yukari muttered. She snapped her fingers, and the map disappeared and the lights returned. At the far end of the room, four gaps opened up.

"The far left is for our friends from the Netherworld, the second-to-left for Marisa and Mima, the second-to-right for the denizens of the Scarlet Devil Mansion and the far right opens at the Palace of Earth Spirits," Yukari said. "And remember, if you're not a volunteer, you will be under heavy scrutiny until then. Don't make me come over there."

…

"Oh dear, it seems that no one is getting along," Yuuka mock-gasps. "Well, maybe a few of them are, but not enough. I fear this team will tear itself before I even get there…" Then she blinks. A confused look washes over her face, and she shakes her head. "Wait, what am I saying? The battle is long finished! Everything that was going to happen already happened! Forgive me. Going through all these memories, I sometimes get lost in the past. Ah well. The past can be a bewildering place to wander. Almost as much as the present. Where does one end and the other begin? And don't even get me started on the future. One moment you're convinced that it doesn't matter what you do, everything will fall over themselves to work out in your favor, but then that one thing happens, that one thing you could have never predicted, and suddenly you're cut down to…Ah, but listen to me ramble. I apologize, I'm only delaying the story unnecessarily. Let's wrap up Yukari's little group therapy session, shall we?"

…

Remilia Scarlet's entourage was the first to leave. No doubt the repeated humiliations caused by everyone's complete lack of respect and Flandre's disobedience had driven her to gather together what little dignity she retained and make a hasty exit.

Unfortunately, she found herself facing one last obstacle in the form of Flandre. Apparently the unstable vampire had decided that she would much rather leave with Utsuho. Yukari watched with mild interest as Remilia loudly made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that she would not hear of something so ridiculous, and if Flandre did not come with her that very instant…And about that point Remilia's whole case fell apart as she was unable to think of a fitting punishment. She then found herself under assault from Utsuho herself, in the form of an angry lecture about how she shouldn't be so cruel to her sister. Despite the fact that it represented the breakdown of the group's command structure, Yukari couldn't help but be amused as the vaunted aristocrat and team "Leader" was unable to adequately debate with her kid sister and cloudheaded fool. It was not until both Satori and Sakuya intervened and calmly spoke their respective wards that they reluctantly agreed to part ways. Yukari shook her head and slipped out of her seat to float down to the ground.

As Remilia huffily left with Sakuya and Flandre in tow, Yukari walked up to Satori.

"For the time being," Satori said before Yukari could so much as open her mouth. "Her control is wavering, but not enough to cause Flandre Scarlet to violently revolt. They will do their parts. Reluctantly, but despite her murderous actions, Flandre does fear you."

"And she is right to do so," Yukari said. "Good work. And what of our other, ah, involuntary team members?"

"You will have no problems from Marisa Kirisame," Satori said. "She is motivated by a desire for freedom and violence. She will follow her instructions, though she wishes for a greater part to play."

"I see. Well, too bad."

"However, she and Mima are planning on looting Yuuka's abandoned mansion once this is all over."

Yukari shrugged. "Not at all surprising. And they're welcome to whatever they find." She didn't outwardly mention how by the time they got there, there would be precious little to find. It didn't matter. Satori got the message anyway.

"And as for…the other one?" Yukari asked. She let her gaze briefly flit to Mima. While Marisa chatted away with Yuyuko and Youmu near the gaps, the Evil Spirit of Makai had not left her seat. At the moment, she was leaning over the hump of her tail and staring unblinkingly at Yukari, a gesture that could be anything from a challenge to an expression of discontent to an attempt to psyche Yukari out. Most likely it was all three.

Satori shook her head. "I was unable to read anything of any worth from her. She insisted on playing those…noises throughout the meeting. In interest of preserving my sanity I had to tune her out."

"I really can't say I blame you," Yukari admitted. "Sorry about that. That ghost can get real nasty."

"On that we agree. I will be leaving now." Satori glanced to her pets, who were fretfully waiting next to their exit home. "Utsuho needs to be reassured that Flandre is not the victim of domestic abuse, at least not to the extent that she is imagining."

"Good luck with that. I really don't want to think about the possible repercussions of them liking each other."

"It is my poor fortune that I must." Without another word, Satori turned and left.

Well, that's done, Yukari thought. She took a deep breath and turned. All right, you incorporeal bitch. Let's see how you like playing in my league.

As predicted, Mima was now floating toward her, displeasure written all over her face. "Well," she said. "That was interesting."

"Seeing how eventful this evening has been, you're really going to have to be more specific," Yukari said.

"A fair point. But while Remilia's temper tantrums always make for good entertainment, I was actually referring to your battle plan."

"It is what it is. If you have any complaints about it…"

Mima shook her head. "No, it's workable enough. I just hope you're ready to adapt when everything starts to go wrong."

Yukari folded her arms. "I really hope that's not an expression of intent, Mima."

"No," Mima said with a slight smile. "Don't worry. I said I'll do my part to help, and I'm not going back on that."

"Well, good. And by help, you do mean 'Help me kill Yuuka and not immediately backstab me after', correct? Because I know how you love to twist the exact meaning of words."

"No more than yourself. But yes, I do mean help you beat her, without sabotaging the whole operation. You need not watch your back for me or Marisa."

"Glad to hear. Is there anything else, then?"

"Well…" Mima drawled as she scratched her cheek with one green-nailed finger. "There is one issue that's been, oh shall we say, niggling at me. I'm sure it's nothing, but…"

"Out with it, then."

Mima cast a dramatic look over to Yuyuko and Youmu, who were still talking and laughing with Marisa. "Those two. Strange that they would just show up out of nowhere, despite having absolutely no part in this mess up until now."

"Yuyuko is one of my oldest friends. Is it so strange that she would come to my aid?"

"Normally? No. But something does smell rather…rotten about all this. I can't help but note that they were placed within the same team as Marisa and I. I would assume that I would be placed in direct responsibility for the girl."

"You know what they say about people who assume?" Yukari said. "And if you think I'm going to let you lead anything, then you're a fool. Had you not shown up, Yuyuko would have been given control of Marisa alone. She has more than enough power to do so, and they've worked together in the past. Plus, as you can clearly see, they have no issues with each other's company."

"Maybe not, but it still seems like overkill. Having the Queen of the Netherworld watch over a single human, strong as she may be? I would expect her to be acting as one of your shooters instead of a handler."

Yukari shrugged. "She showed up at my place and wanted to help. I needed someone to keep an eye on Marisa. Besides, Yuyuko may be powerful, but it's not geared toward doing large amounts of destruction in a very short time. Honestly Mima, what about her has got you so worked up? You're not still mad about being kicked out of the Netherworld, are you? Because Yuyuko doesn't even have a real say in that. Go yell at the Yamaxanadu if you have a bone to pick."

"No, no. It's not that. It's just I can't shake the feeling that Yuyuko was intended to only be Marisa's handler from the beginning. Seems to me-"

"That I was counting on you joining?" Yukari finished for her. She shook her head. "Mima, if there's one thing I've learned during our long years of acquaintance, it's that I can't count on you to do anything. And even if I had somehow staged thing to draw you in, would it change anything? Your prodigy will still receive her pardon, our score between us will be clean, and I will concentrate my efforts on bringing down Satsuki without wasting any more time with either of you."

"I see," Mima said icily. "Well, I suppose you have a point. We'll be leaving then. Wouldn't want to take up any more of your time."

She turned and made her way to Marisa. Yukari watched as the young witch greeted her former mentor and moved to follow her toward their way home. She also noted how Mima was stalwartly ignoring the representatives of the Netherworld, a gesture that was returned by Youmu. Yuyuko, however, had no problems with staring openly at Mima in that strange, calm manner of hers.

Mima and Marisa passed through the gap, heading back to the Forest of Magic. Yuyuko blinked and shook her head. She turned to Yukari and shot her a friendly smile and a wave. Yukari nodded and returned the wave.

After they had gone as well, Yukari closed up the gaps and sighed. Well, she had survived it. The operation was a go, and everyone was more-or-less on board. Granted, there was definitely going to be some messes to clean up later, but she could deal with that when the time comes.

"That…could have gone worse," said a soft voice behind her.

Yukari almost jumped in surprise, but then relaxed. "Gods, Ran," she said as she turned. "You know, I almost forgot you were there."

"Um, thanks?"

Yukari smiled and patted her Shikigami on the shoulder. "Don't worry. Believe me when I say that in these sorts of situations, being unnoticed is a good thing."

"No arguments here. And forgive me for asking, Master. But do you really think this idea is going to work?"

"You mean without a hitch? I'd be very surprised. No, but it gives us something to work with. I suspect that most of the battle will be improvised. Fortunately, I'm good at that." She waved her hand, and one more gap opened, this one leading to her house. "Come on," she said with a weary groan. "I really need to take a nap."

…

"The sleep of the just?" Yuuka says. "I wonder what she dreams of. Does she feel the same fears as those she professes to protect? The same doubts and insecurities? Does she dream of her loved ones dying or, much worse in my opinion, rejecting her? Does she see the whole of Gensokyo burning under the sky while she stands helpless to do anything? Does she see the Barrier crumbling away and the corruption of the Outside World closing in like a flood? The top of the mountain may have the best view, but it is a terrifying place to stand."

Yuuka shakes her head. "Especially when one must work so hard to keep that mountain in place, with every step being a battle. So many plans and plots and schemes. Conspiracies, manipulations, blackmail. All hallmarks of the game of politics. And I really must give the devil her due. While she may find the necessity of it to be bothersome, she is quite adept at playing that game."

"Now, me? I'm a simple woman, my friend. I have no time for these overly complicated strategies. I am confronted with a problem, and the solution is made clear to me. I suppose it's a gift, in its own way. One that people like Yukari must find frustrating." Yuuka's fingers dip into her sugar bowl and come out holding a single white cube. "Because when you take a person like me, someone who has no patience for such thing, and present me with carefully formulated plan, then, well, I simply cannot help but tear them down."

"You'd think they would learn, in time. But no, they form their plans, they carry out their plans, and they expect them to work. And it is in that moment, in that very moment, when I see the look in their eyes as their mechanisms start to unravel, that they realize the utter futility of even employing a strategy against me. For as long as it lasts, that is. Because more often than naught," Yuuka says, a satisfied smile curling her ravaged lips, "they never know what hit them."

With that, she crushes the sugar cube between her fingers.

…

Saturday had come. The storm had arrived. Above the expanse of the Skillet Plateau, the black clouds were full, rolling and angry. It almost reminded Yukari of the horrid weather that sprung to life whenever the Shadow Youkai asserted herself. However, unlike that unnaturally cold squall, this was the real thing. The wind tore at her clothing, forcing her to keep one hand on her hat.

Her eyes surveyed the flat wasteland all around her, from the cracks in the thirsty earth to the bizarre stone formations beyond the plateau to the darkened horizon. Her…assistants were already in position, waiting for their signal. It galled her, how much of this depended on so many others. She trusted them enough to do their jobs, but if one thing were to go wrong, than it might very well take the whole operation with it.

Something hit the back of her hand. She looked down to see a single drop of water rolling down her thumb. A second followed, and then a third. Then, almost as if a dam had burst, the rain started pouring down. Yukari sighed and mentally pushed the boundary between moisture and dryness, forming a shield against the downpour. The last thing she needed was an additional distraction.

"Good day to you!" a cultured but slightly deranged voiced called to her. Yukari looked up, her sharp eyes easily picking out the approaching figure even through the rain.

"Lovely weather, isn't it?" Yuuka said. Her umbrella was open above her and twirling merrily. "Admittedly, I much prefer the sun, but a time for everything, eh? Though I do wonder if it will do this dry land any good. So much water to drink, but nowhere to take it." She gave the ground a stomp of her heel. "Of course, the poison you've stuck in the ground can't be helping any."

"A precaution," Yukari said. She started walking in a slow circle, her steady gaze never leaving Yuuka's smug red eyes. "I've learned not to underestimate your tricks."

"Have you? Ah, so sure of yourself." Yuuka shrugged and laughed. "Well, here I am, and here you are. A meeting of two titans. Now, what shall we do with ourselves?"

"Tradition suggests a clash," Yukari answered. Almost as if on cue, lightning cracked across the sky directly behind her. Thunder boomed, and Yukari's hand went to the ornate handle of the steel rapier she wore at her side. The blade whistled through the air as Yukari whipped it from its scabbard and fell into a duelist's stance.

Yuuka's eyes were wide with glee. "Ooooh, right down to business! I like!" She folded up her umbrella and held it up in a challenging salute. "Well, then." Lightning flashed again, illuminating the perfect teeth of her smile. "En garde."

…

Hey, guess who's finally back after a near month and a half! Really sorry about the wait, guys. You remember how, after the last chapter went up so quickly, I made note of how I had been blessed with a period of time free from schoolwork? Yeah, this was the exact opposite. And in addition to four papers I needed to write, two finals to study for and an oral presentation to prepare for, my computer decided to be a dick and crash on me twice, each time erasing a full evening's work. Fortunately, I'm on summer break now, and the next couple chapters will be mostly action, so they should come out quicker.

Anyway, I really can't think of a whole lot to comment on here, except that I'm (obviously) experimenting a little with styles, and hopefully it won't blow up in my face.

Oh, just on a side-note, thanks to a suggestion I got on the TV Tropes Touhou thread, the last chapter has had a few lines added. Reread the conversation between Yuuka and Mystia and see if you notice anything new.

Until next time, everyone!