Chapter 17

Megamind drops his wrench and sits up suddenly. Something's wrong. He backs away from the hoverbike he was tinkering with and looks around slowly. Something's wrong.

"Minion!" he yells. "Do we have a security breach?" He calls down the nearby brainbots and has them do a sweep.

Minion comes into the part of Evil Lair he is currently in with an open laptop and answers, "No, Sir. All systems are online and no active alerts."

"Something's wrong," he states aloud even though that's all that's running through his head.

Minion looks around, then checks the laptop again. "I'm… not seeing it, Sir."

He can't feel her. He's been feeling her all day and now he can't. "Roxanne!" he gasps and rushes past Minion. He's not too sure of where he's running to, but he'll figure it out when he gets there.

"What? Sir? What's going on?" Minion asks as he runs on all fours of his suit to keep pace.

"The bond, Minion! I can't feel her! She's been there since last night and now she's not!" he explains. "Something's wrong!" he repeats absently.

"Ok, so we find her. We know Ma'am went to her apartment, right? And-and she had her cell phone with her. We can track that," Minion suggested.

They ended up at the computer room and Megamind immediately pulled out two keyboards and worked fervently on both, one hand typing on each one. Something's wrong. "I'll check her phone and her apartment's security. You see if any of her brainbots captured anything. Also send a stealth squad to her apartment for recon and data collect-shion," he commanded tersely.

"I'm on it, Sir," Minion replied back just as seriously.

It took only a moment to track her phone – they've been doing it for years to kidnap her for their plots. It showed that the phone was at her apartment building. She was either with it, or she dropped it. He continued to hack into the apartment's security footage. Last time, Minion had to steal archive footage. He was hoping that since whatever happened (something's wrong) just occurred that he could catch it on the current recording.

Soon, but not soon enough, he was in their system. He quickly located the camera feed for Roxanne's floor and rewound it. He caught sight of activity at Miss Ritchi's door (something's wrong) and he hit play. He watched the silent image of Roxanne standing just inside her open door while gesturing out into the hall. Then a familiar figure (her cameraman?) started to leave her apartment before turning around and shoving an aerosol can in her face. She immediately collapsed to the floor. Something's wrong. The cameraman poked his head out of her door and checked the hallway, giving him a clear shot of his face. Then he picked her up in a fireman carry, closed her door and carried her to the elevators.

Hal. That was what she said his name was. Hal Shtewart. He had his address in his database. He wasn't sure if that's where he had Roxanne, but it was worth a look. Something's wrong.

Without pausing, he pulled up his database, and sent one of the stealth squads to check out Hal's domicile for Roxanne. He was just glad he'd collected his data back when Roxanne's apartment was broken into. Saved him some research time now.

Minion came in the room and reported, "Sir, stealth bots have been deployed to Ma'am's apartment. Also, one of her personal squad isn't with the rest of the hive. But it has activated its tracking device and is on the move."

"Does it appear to be heading towards Greenbrush Drive?" Megamind asked grimly.

Minion checked the computer he was holding and said, "It-it does, Sir. Did you find something out?"

"It's her cameraman. Prepare the Mecha-Battle Suit. No one kidnaps Miss Ritchi but me," he said angrily. He stormed past his henchfish and yelled into Evil Lair, "Brainbots! Full villain attire! Now!"

Something's wrong.

/\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ - /\/\ -

Roxanne slowly came to and realized several things very quickly. First off, she was tied to a very cushy chair by her waist. Her feet were tied together, and her hands were tied in front of her (rookie mistake). Also, there wasn't a smelly bag over her head. This was enough deviation from standard procedure to warrant keeping up the appearance of being unconscious. She also felt a faint sense of panic and anger that she knew she wasn't quite awake enough to produce herself. Although the panic was quickly making way for relief and additional anger.

She concentrated on listening, since opening her eyes would immediately give her away. Instead of the usual mechanical and electronic sounds she was used to hearing in this situation, she heard what sounded like a refrigerator humming, and possibly a video game. Then she heard someone repeatedly tapping on a piece of plastic. So yes. A video game.

Why was she tied up near a fridge and by someone playing video games? Was she in someone's house? The last thing she remembered was getting dressed for her date and then a knock on the door – Hal! Hal was at the door. He must've found the can of knock-out spray she managed to steal from Megamind a couple years ago during a botched kidnapping. She'd kept it in the van in the hopes that she could use it first during some kidnapping, but the opportunity never presented itself. When she got fired, she never cleaned her stuff out of the van and forgot about it.

Deciding that she'd need to actually ask questions to get any additional answers, she groaned a little and moved her head. Then she furrowed her brow and blinked a couple times to 'wake up.' She noticed that her chair was actually part of a couch. The cushions might give her enough slack for her to wiggle out of the rope that attached her to it.

"Oh hey. You're awake," Hal said cheerfully from the couch immediately next to her. "I wasn't sure how long that stuff would last."

She looked over at him sharply and he seemed very relaxed for someone who just kidnapped her. She also noticed the can of knockout spray sitting on the junk-covered tv stand in front of her. It was out of her reach in her current position, but with her hands in front of her, that gave her several options. Particularly since they were only tied to each other and not otherwise restrained.

"What are you doing, Hal? Why'd you kidnap me?" she demanded while inconspicuously feeling the ropes at her waist. She would try to move the knots around to her hands and undo them. Hal didn't seem like the type that would be good with knots. But she never thought he'd kidnap her either.

"What? Pssshh, no. I didn't kidnap you, Roxie. I just brought you to my house so we can hang, you know," Hal replied nonchalantly. "Here, you want some pizza?" He reached for an open pizza box nearby, then pressed a greasy slice of pepperoni pizza into her bound hands. She grimaced and tossed it away from her. It landed on the floor in front of her. Now her hands were greasy. That would not help her with untying the ropes holding her.

"No, Hal. Just. No. You used Megamind's knockout spray on me and have me tied up. I know a kidnapping when I'm in one," she retorted. She found the knot at her waist and started trying to discretely loosen it, but the grease that was now on her hands wasn't helping. She could wipe them on her dress, but it was new! She didn't want to get grease spots on it before she even had a chance to wear it!

"No, see. It's not like that. You never give me a chance, Roxie. I'm a good guy! And this way we can hang out and you can see how good we'd be together," Hal explained. "Come on, I can restart and we can play this as two-player. Or we can watch a scary movie? I can hold you during the scary parts." Then he leered at her, scooted closer to her, and dropped his voice as he suggested, "Or we could do something else?"

"'Good guys' don't do this, Hal! 'Good guys' don't kidnap people!" she argued attempting to lean away from him, not really liking his sudden shift in tone. Even as she tried not to think about how her current boyfriend did almost the exact same thing, with the kidnaping and the ropes. But then he never claimed to be a 'good guy,' despite evidence to the contrary. And at the time, his main objective wasn't to woo her, but to 'defeat Metro Man.'

"Geeze, Roxie. I told you, this isn't a kidnapping or whatever. This is just us. Hanging out," he said, trying to gaslight her. Then he put one of his arms around her shoulders and pulled her to his side.

She jerked away from him as best she could, grit her teeth and growled out, "Hal. Stop touching me, or so help me…"

He held up his hands and retreated back to his side of the couch and said, "Hey easy, Roxie. It's cool. But like, I think we'll be good together."

"I don't think so, Hal," she snapped. Then her Megamind-sensor reminded her that it was a thing she was living with now, as she realized that she'd been feeling him getting closer to her and that was where the other anger was coming from. She gave Hal an absolutely feral grin that was all teeth and said, "Besides. I told you I'm seeing someone right now."

On cue, a giant robot hand punched through the wall of the apartment. Hal ducked and screamed, but Roxanne never flinched. "What's happening!?" Hal yelled from his duck-and-cover position.

In answer, the television flickered and Megamind's angry face was displayed. "Hal Shtewart!" Megamind said from the television, along with a loud speaker mounted somewhere on the giant robot. "Miss Ritchi is my. Exclusive. Victim. And is therefore under my protection. Using smaller words, you have someone of mine. And I don't share."

A cloud of brainbots poured through the hole in the wall. Hal yelled again, ducked and covered his head as most bypassed him and went straight for Roxanne. She held up her bound hands and after a few quick bites on the ropes from the brainbots, she was able to pull them apart. Other bots had bitten at the other ropes binding her waist and feet, so she had no problem standing up.

While she was busy getting untied, Megamind grabbed one of Hal's legs with the robot and lifted him out through the hole in the wall. Hal was screaming while dangling upside down from the robot's hand. The brainbots had begun to swarm and they were nipping and scratching at him as he was suspended in the air. The entire time, Hal was screaming and apologizing while Megamind just let him hang there and occasionally either scolded or laughed at him.

Roxanne grabbed the knockout spray, walked to the hole in the wall and called out, "Hey, serial kidnapper! Mind getting me out of here?"

The other giant robot hand reached up and wrapped around her. It was Megamind – he won't let her fall. He won't let her fall… The robot lifted her out of the apartment and towards the currently-retracting dome that was the giant robot's head.

"Let them go, Megamind!" Metro Man, who appeared out of thin air, commanded. Great. That was just what they needed.

"With pleasure!" Megamind taunted and since she was currently a few feet over him the giant robot let her go. She dropped with a yelp and Megamind caught her with an evil laugh. He pressed a button and the dome closed over them with Metro Man still hovering outside. Then he tossed Hal into the air, forcing Metro Man to fly after him to catch him.

"God, that was hot," she couldn't help but say and kissed him hungrily. He came to rescue her in one of his giant robots. That kind of thing could go to a girl's head.

He pulled back a lot sooner than she would've liked and hissed, "Temptress. Kind of busy here."

"Should've left me tied up then," she whispered in his ear before giving the edge of it an inappropriate lick.

He moved and touched his forehead to hers even as he blushed. "Change of plans, my love. As per usual when Metro Man is involved. I'll fake a malfunction. He's going to rescue you and take me to prison. Talk to the police and press charges against your cameraman. Minion will back up whatever you say. If Hal is not behind bars when I get out, I will hunt him down. And I can't guarantee what will happen when I find him."

"You can't hide in there forever, Megamind. Don't worry, Roxie! I'll save you from his evil clutches," Metro Man continued to spout from outside the robot. Giving it a few punches that rocked the entire thing for good measure.

"You sure that's the best plan? He'll let you go if I ask. You rescued me," she said.

"Trust me, my love," he replied, then gave her a quick kiss, and pressed his disguise watch into her hands before setting her down."Hold on to something, Miss Ritchi. This is going to be a rough ride."

"Promises, promises," she replied flirtatiously as she slipped on his watch to keep it from getting lost. He shot her a look and she winked. She knew he was trying to keep their interactions the same as before, for Wayne's benefit, but they'd always flirted. She wanted to just tell Wayne to leave them alone, that Megamind just rescued her, but he asked her to trust him. Any other time, she would've said something, but she bit her tongue and hoped he knew what he was doing.

"You're welcome to try, Metro Mahn! I will take over Metrocity and nobody can stop me!" he taunted with his usual rhetoric and used his robot to try to punch at Wayne. Mid-swing, he reached under the control terminal and pulled out a part with wires still attached. The robot immediately powered down, causing the dome to start to open and he quickly threw the part away from himself.

"Wha-what are you doing you oversized bucket of bolts?" he pretended to panic and repeatedly mashed a button on the console. And he was convincing enough that she had to wonder exactly how many times he faked a malfunction. Although Minion did mention something about that.

"Good will always triumph over Evil," Metro Man declared as he landed next to Megamind and lifted him by the collar. Roxanne took a step towards them and had a hand raised in protest when Megamind caught her eye and shook his head.

Soon, Roxanne was standing next to Hal's apartment building, and she had to stand by and watch as Wayne carried her boyfriend off to prison. It was a sight she'd seen hundreds of times before, but it was really upsetting this time. Just one of the downsides of dating a supervillain. She sighed and turned away from where she'd last spotted Megamind being flown off.

She started walking towards a nearby policecar that just showed up when suddenly a dark-haired, professionally-dressed woman about her age she didn't recognize was walking in step beside her.

The stranger asked quietly, "Are you alright, Ma'am? Sir was really distraught," which identified the woman as Minion in disguise.

She grimaced and replied, "I'm glad you guys found me so quickly. Hal has always creeped on me a little, but I was starting to worry about what he was going to do. By the way, I left a recovered can of knockout spray in the robot." A horde of brainbots had already air-lifted the giant robot out of the area. Presumably taking it back to the lair. Or maybe one of Megamind's other buildings he'd mentioned.

They'd reached the police and she said, "Excuse me, officer. That man with the hole in his wall kidnapped me and I'd like to press charges. His name is Hal Stewart and he works for KMCP as a cameraman. The ropes he had me tied up with are still inside his apartment." She looked around and frowned. "I don't know where he went though."

Minion, still disguised as the dark-haired woman, asked, "Was he the red-headed guy that the robot pulled out of the apartment and that Metro Man caught?"

She looked over at her disguised friend and said, "Yeah, that was him."

"Oh! Well, he's over by that alley. He tried to get handsy with me, so I hit him. I guess that was too much for him after the robot, and he passed out," Minion volunteered.

The cop motioned for his partner to go see to Hal then asked Minion, "Would you also like to press charges?"

Minion's disguise shuffled nervously and said, "Oh, well. I think the kidnapping is the bigger issue, right? I-I don't want any trouble."

Roxanne stood and answered an endless stream of questions, Minion chiming in occasionally as a witness. She couldn't help a little vengeful smile when she spotted Hal being frog-marched into the back of a police car. She shot Minion a relieved smile. A quick smile twitched on his disguised lips before his expression flattened. She noticed he was watching the police that surrounded them nervously.

She leaned over and whispered into his ear, "You don't have to be here. I can catch up with you. I think I'm almost done."

"No, no. I'm staying," he disagreed firmly.

She laid a hand on his arm and said, "Ok. It shouldn't be much longer." She turned to the officer she'd been speaking to and asked, "Right? We're almost done?"

"We're done," the officer said as he handed her some papers. "We'll contact you if we need any additional information."

"Great. Thanks," she replied as she turned away. "Let's get out of here," she told Minion. He nodded once and started walking off. She fell in step beside him, hoping he was leading her towards the invisible car.

He turned off into an alley, then glanced around. When he saw that no one was looking, he reached and opened a car door from thin air for her. "Here you go, Ma'am." She thanked him as she slid into the passenger seat. He closed the door behind her and entered on the driver's side. Once he was safely inside, he turned off his watch. Light flickered around him and the image of the woman disappeared and the more familiar sight of him in his gorilla suit appeared. "That's better," he admitted.

Since they were secluded now, she said, "Thanks for rescuing me. There's no telling what Hal would've done if I'd been there longer. And good job knocking him out so the little weasel couldn't slip away."

He gave her a smile and admitted, "It was my pleasure! And we'll always come for you, Ma'am."

She smiled back and put her hand on his furry arm and replied simply, "I know."

He tapped the ends of his hands together nervously and said, "But, um… Since you're… well… Sir and I'd like to increase your personal security. Especially when you leave the lair without one of us."

"Like what?" she asked curiously.

"Well, first…" he opened a compartment on his suit and pulled out a black package wrapped with a blue ribbon into an intricate bow. "Sir instructed I give this to you. He was going to give it to you on your date tonight. I've also made you a protective undersuit, like Sir's. It's breathable and it softens blows and prevents punctures. You can try it on when we get back to the lair. Oh, and this," he opened the glove box and pushed past a couple laser guns and pulled out a different box. This one was more battered and was obviously only used as storage. He gave both boxes to her.

She opened the battered box first and found a pin shaped as Megamind's insignia. She lifted it out of the box and shot Minion a questioning look.

"It's got a tracker, so we can find you if this happens again. And, Ma'am… Sir has enemies. We're afraid they may see you as a way to get to Sir when you announce your relationship. It, um, it also projects a protective, kinetic dampening field. It won't keep you from getting hit, but it will reduce the damage. It's inversely proportional in that the faster an object approaches, the more it gets slowed down. So, a punch will land, but a bullet won't. And the undersuit should compensate for the rest." She gently took it out of the box and pinned it on her dress. "It, um… I think Sir wants to rework this into a necklace for you, but until then… Please keep that on you."

"I will, Minion," she promised. Yeesh. She honestly never thought about the possibility of getting shot just from hanging out with her boyfriend. But he was right. He has enemies. You can't make it to 'Supervillain' without stepping on several toes to get there.

Once the pin was attached to her dress and settled comfortably, she opened the nicely wrapped box, even though she was saddened that Megamind couldn't give it to her himself. She opened it and a surprised noise escaped her. It was a de-gun. He did make her one. She quickly blinked to keep the moisture she felt just behind her eyes from gathering and gently lifted it from the box. It fit her hand perfectly and was small enough she could consider it feminine. Turning it over, she saw that it had two settings, Dehydrate (of course) and Decoupage.

Once she was done admiring the filigree, she set it back down and looked over at Minion. "Why did he go?" she asked him. "Wayne would've left him alone if I told him he rescued me from Hal. Let him 'escape' or something."

Minion fluttered his fins before answering, "It… It was part of the Metro Man contingency plan. He'd let himself get taken to prison to keep up appearances. You haven't made your announcement yet and why else would he be kidnapping you? This will keep you safe. And it will buy us time to get away for our vacation. He'll stay a couple days in prison, then when he escapes, no one will expect him back for a while."

"A couple days!" she protested.

Minion blinked at her and said, "It's a relatively short stay, Ma'am."

She ran a hand down her face and sighed. He was right. That was a quick stay for him. "You're right," she admitted. "Just something I'll need to get used to, I guess."

"Sorry, Ma'am," Minion drooped a bit as he apologized. His tone suggested that he meant more than just the prison stay. He was apologizing for them being who they were, their lifestyle, and for her getting involved.

"It's ok. I'm just not used to it yet. I'm not going anywhere," she reassured him. "Let's get out of here."

"Of course, Ma'am," he answered and started the car.

AN: Any weirdness you noticed in the first part of this chapter was on purpose. From it being mostly present tense to Megamind switching between thinking "Roxanne" to "Miss Ritchi." I was trying to show that he was frantic with the *wrongness* of not being able to sense Roxanne while she was unconscious. I hope I managed to get it across like I was trying.