Ch 19

Roxanne woke up on the couch in Evil Lair. And that's when she realized she accidently dozed off some time after they came back from her apartment. She glanced at Megamind's disguise watch she was still wearing and saw that it was a good three hours later than she thought it should be. She'd better tell Minion she was awake. He probably had supper ready by now.

She walked to the kitchen and was surprised to find it empty. There was a note on the table though. He might have just gone to do his own thing and told her to get take-out. She picked it up and read it.

Went to buy groceries. Will be back by 3. – Minion –

Confused, she checked her watch again. It was after five.

"Minion?" she called out into the lair. Perhaps he just didn't come back into the kitchen. There was no answer. She knocked on the door to his craft room and asked, "Minion? You in there?" Still no answer. Frowning, she made her way to where the cars are usually parked and saw that the Hudson wasn't there. Not even the shimmer of him leaving the invisibility on again. She checked her phone in case he'd called her, even though he never had before, and there was nothing.

Starting to get worried, she lifted her hand over her head and called, "Brainbots!" The swarm started spiraling down from the ceiling where they normally hung out. When some got near her, she instructed firmly, "Leave three squads here for security detail. The rest of you, spread out and find Minion." She lowered her hand to get them to execute her command. Here's hoping they would listen to her.

They must've understood something she said because there was immediate action. A host of brainbots swarmed out the back of the lair so they could hide their exit by briefly mixing with the water of the harbor. Hopefully three squads were enough to stay behind for the security detail. She had no idea and was flying blind. And if Minion just got caught up in conversation with someone, she is going to be so embarrassed.

The tracker! He must have a tracker on his suit if he was making her wear one. Maybe the car has one too. She sprinted to the computer room and looked at all the mostly unlabeled binders spread throughout the room. "There's got to be something here," she muttered as she started opening them, looking for anything that might help. She flipped through pages and pages looking for anything that mentioned a tracker or gps or mapping.

She was still flipping when a brainbot came and hovered next to her, making its metallic barking sound to get her attention. She looked at it and asked, "Do you have something to report?"

"Bowg, bowg," it replied.

Crossing her fingers that this would work, she instructed it, "Display on that monitor." It didn't move. "Ugh, it's another of those typing commands, isn't it? Dammit, Megamind."

"Show me," she tried again. Now it grabbed her sleeve in its pincers and started pulling. Not having very many options, she allowed herself to be dragged along. The bot brought her to her car and motioned to it.

Shrugging, she got in and the brainbot followed. She turned on the invisibility and drove out the exit, not even realizing she didn't have her brainbots outline it for her. The brainbot riding next to her was pointing out what turns to take and she did so, even if it was against the flow of the area's sparse traffic. It soon pointed to a convenience store and she gasped. There was the (visible) invisible car in the middle of a small crowd of gawkers. Her hand flew to her mouth when she saw Minion's suit laying on the ground near it with the dome shattered.

"Are there still brainbots in the area?" She asked her little copilot. It barked at her and she rolled her eyes at herself and muttered, "Why do I think that will help?" She looked at her little friend and instructed, "Put out a call. I need more of you guys here." With their swarming tendencies, they have to be able to talk to each other.

She parked and jumped out of her car to recover the invisible car and Minion. Once she got out, she drew her de-gun and raised her empty hand over her head. She caught some metallic glints in the sky so knew that some bots were nearby. Hopefully, they saw her signal to gather.

She ran over to the crowd and started looking frantically for Minion. There was no sign of him, just his suit. She stood, glared at the person nearest to her and demanded, "Where is he?"

"I-uh- what?" he stammered.

"The fish that pilots the robot suit," she explained, only barely holding in her worry and frustration. "Where is he?"

"Man, there wasn't no fish here. Just the car and the robot," a different guy than the one she was interrogating offered.

She growled, turned and shot the car and the suit with two quick blasts of her de-gun, thankful for her practice earlier that day. Absently, she noticed that the bystanders scattered when she raised the gun. She immediately marched for the doors of the store. "Return those!" she commanded to the brainbots she'd spotted hovering nearby. In the reflection on the glass in the door, she saw two brainbots swoop down and carry off the two blue cubes.

She stormed inside and up to the guy at the counter. "I need to see your security footage for the last few hours," she stated.

"Look, I can't just show you that. I can only show that to the cops when they ask," the guy protested.

She raised her arm and was glad to see that his face paled at what she assumed was the horde of brainbots that dropped into sight behind her. "I don't think you heard me. I said I need to see your security footage for the last few hours," she repeated herself coldly.

"R-r-right this way," he stuttered and fearfully escorted her to the back. She motioned for two of the bots to follow her.

When she was shown to the small office with the recordings, she immediately sat and rewound the footage of the parking lot. All too soon, she saw what had happened to Minion. She dug around in her purse and pulled out a flash drive. As a reporter, she'd always had at least two flash drives on her person in case she needed one quickly. Old habits come in handy sometimes. She copied the footage to the drive and stood to leave.

The clerk was back behind his counter when she walked over to him. "Nothing happened, right?" she prompted him. "Just a regular day."

"R-r-right. Nothing happened," he repeated.

She gave him a grim smile and reached over to pat his cheek. "That's right," she reminded him and left the store. She raised then lowered her arm to let the brainbots know they were momentarily released from duty. She hopped in her still invisible car and raced back to the lair.

Once she made it inside, she threw her car in park, jumped out of the vehicle and started pacing. She had a license plate number. She had their faces. She has to track them down. Has to rescue Minion. And she is absolutely terrible at computers. Sure, she can use a word processor program and she can fumble her way around spreadsheets and email. But programming the brainbots? Finding an address to go with that license number? Facial recognition? She doesn't even know where to start! Wayne? No, he needs a target. She gripped her hair on either side of her head and yelled to vent her frustration.

She took a deep breath and walked to the computer room. Maybe she can find something on an internet search? A how-to video would be lovely.

A wasted thirty minutes later had her pushing away from the desk. Dammit, Megamind! Just couldn't let Wayne not send you to jail. He wouldn't have been taking a nap and not noticing that Minion was gone longer than he said he would. He would know how to use the information she'd gathered. And now that she was thinking about him, she paid attention to her Megamind-sensor. All she felt was curiosity. Was he trying to ask her what was wrong? Or did he find a particularly interesting bug? No way to know really. She knew she'd been broadcasting it since she woke up, but she concentrated on her worry and panic. Hopefully he could break out in the next few minutes and come help her.

She took another breath and tried to approach this rationally. First, she can't use the information to find what she needs. Who can? Megamind, who's in jail, and currently can't be counted on. Minion, who's missing. And… nothing.

She growled at herself and opened up her phone contacts. As she scrolled through several names from KMCP, she slowed at one in particular. They weren't friends. Didn't even work in the same department. But she was a programmer. And when they ran into each other, she never asked about the hero, but about Megamind and his toys.

Maybe.

Was there another option?

There was 'wait for Megamind,' who wasn't scheduled to escape until tomorrow night. Minion might not have that long. He's a fish and is bound to be vulnerable without his suit.

There was Metro Man. Who didn't know where to look, and even he couldn't x-ray vision the entire city that quickly…

She'd need hush money. She bolted out of the room and ran to the cabinet that Minion casually pointed out during her tour as holding 'petty cash.' She threw open the door, then had to scramble to keep stacks of bills from falling on her. She should've known that a supervillain's petty cash stash would be enough to crush someone. Thank god. Once it was stable, she pulled down several bundles and counted out what she grabbed.

Yeah. She would've done a job for someone she sort of knew for that amount of cash. No questions asked. She dehydrated the stack and shoved the resulting cube into her pocket.

Here goes her main hope right now… She hit 'call' and waited for the line to be picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Kim? It's Roxanne Ritchi."

"Oh, hey. I heard about you getting fired. That sucks. You were the best reporter we had!"

"Thanks. Hey listen, I'm sorry to call out of the blue like this, but I think I need your help."

"Really? With what?"

"Computers. Mostly. Um – this is going to sound shady, but I'd like to hire you for a job. One million dollars, cash. It'll take anywhere from one to thirty hours. You can't tell anyone about it or anything you see or hear. Can you help?"

"One mi- what have you gotten yourself mixed up in, Roxanne? And exactly how illegal is this?"

"No answers unless you accept the job."

"What happens if I can't do what you're needing?"

Roxanne sighed and said, "I'll still pay you ten percent of it to stay quiet about the whole thing."

"Ok. I'll do it. Now what's the job?"

"Oh my god, Kim. You are a literal lifesaver; you don't even know. I'm coming to pick you up, I'll tell you in the car. Give me an address." She quickly jotted down the address and instructed, "I'll be at the curb in ten minutes. Be there." She hung up and ran back to the cars.

Fortunately, the brainbots had already rehydrated the Hudson, so she jumped in. It had a navigation screen that her car lacked. And time was of the essence. She quickly checked the console and the glove box and surprisingly found her least favorite bag. No wonder it always smelled. Probably got musty in the hot car. No help for it. She didn't have time to hunt a new one down and the stench had yet to kill her.

She started the car, typed in the address, called for four brainbots to get into the backseat with a warning to not scratch the interior, flipped on the invisibility, and roared out of Evil Lair. The navigation panel was custom-made, of course, and Minion's cheerful voice told her to turn left, right, or 'Looks like you missed the turn, Sir.' His voice just made her grip the wheel tighter and go faster. She never did turn off the invisibility.

She screeched to a stop at the curb where she saw Kim, a woman of Asian descent, in her early twenties, standing with a laptop satchel crossed over her body. Roxanne leaned over, opened the passenger door and instructed, "Get in."

Kim blinked in surprise at the car door opening out of thin air, but then hurried inside and shut the door after her. "Wh-what?" she stuttered as she looked around then gasped when she caught sight of Megamind's insignia. "We're in Megamind's car?" she asked slightly shrilly.

"Yes," Roxanne told her bluntly and got Kim's attention focused on her. "Megamind is in prison and someone has kidnapped Minion – his-"

"Henchfish. Yes, I know about him," Kim said.

"Right. I have the license plate of the car that took him and I have faces of the guys that did it. I need your help to find and rescue Minion. Can you?" Roxanne asked hopefully.

Kim let out a breath and said, "Yeah. Yeah, I think so."

Roxanne's shoulders relaxed and she said, "Great. We're going to Evil Lair, so I'll need you to wear this bag over your head." She passed over the burlap kidnapping bag and made no motion to move the car.

"You're serious?" Kim asked incredulously as she held the bag with two fingers away from her body.

"It's either this or the knock-out spray. And I'm not sure exactly how to give you a twelve minute dose. I've mostly been on the receiving end," she admitted. "And I'm afraid that we're in an 'every minute counts' situation, so I don't have the time to wait for you to wake up."

Kim raised the bag up then wrinkled her nose. She delicately sniffed the bag then jerked her head back. "Really, Roxanne? Why does it smell?"

"It's been in the car. And I've had to put up with it for years, Kim. Just wear the bag," she insisted.

Kim grumbled but then slid the bag over her head. "At least I'm getting paid a million dollars for this," she muttered.

Roxanne muted the navigation screen and then pulled out into traffic when she had room. She went just as fast returning to the lair as she did when she left.

"So," Kim started conversationally, "I can't help but notice that you're driving the supervillain's car, bringing me to his hideout, and are on a rescue mission for his henchfish. Did you two finally hook up?"

"I-what?" she spluttered as she swerved to avoid hitting a car.

"Oh, come on! It's obvious you two are into each other," Kim replied.

Roxanne took a deep breath and said, "Ok, fine. Yes. But that's part of the payment. You can't tell anyone. Yet. We'll go public eventually."

"I knew it," Kim replied smugly. "When you do go public, I'm going to win so many bets."

Soon the car pulled into its usual parking space. Roxanne turned to Kim and said, "Keep the bag on. I'm coming around and I'll lead you to the computer room."

As soon as she helped Kim from the car, the brainbots got agitated and started to swarm. Oh dear. She didn't think of that.

She raised her hand to get their attention and yelled, "Stop!" All the bots stopped swarming and waited for her next instructions. "Kim is not to be hurt! She is my… kidnapping victim." She swiftly lowered her hand and the bots went back to amusing themselves.

Kim turned her head sharply in her general direction and asked, "What."

Roxanne said quietly, "Sorry. I was just trying to use words they'd understand. This isn't really a kidnapping."

Kim relaxed and laughed a little when Roxanne started guiding her further into the lair. "That's a shame," she admitted. "Would've been a good ruse too."

"Sorry, no ruse. I really need your help and I really have a million dollars in my pocket for you," Roxanne told her as they entered the computer room.

"In your pocket? Do they make bills that big?" Kim asked as Roxanne removed the bag and then handed her the dehydrated cube of money.

"Just add water," Roxanne instructed. "Later though." She pointed at the screens and said, "This is his control center and where he does most of the brainbot programming. There's the guys who took Minion and their car. The video is on the flash drive if you need anything else from it."

"Right," Kim said as she settled into the chair. "I'm assuming the internet here is secure."

"I literally have no idea," Roxanne admitted.

"It will take me a minute to check the system before I can attempt to hack into the DMV to get the license plate info. And I'd like to see how that goes before chancing anything with the MCPD," Kim told her in a businesslike manner.

Roxanne nodded absently. "Would you like some coffee? That's the best I can do, I think."

Kim nodded, already concentrating on whatever she was searching for.

"Two coffees," she instructed one of the brainbots that always followed her. It flew off and she starting thinking of her next steps.

Ok. So, she has someone working on the tech side of things. What will she need to do when they get an address? Or several? She would have to go get Minion. Obviously. His suit was broken, so she can't carry that to him. He has a backup suit, she'd seen it. She can dehydrate it and bring it along. But will it take time to boot up? With Megamind's fondness of designing things that need to 'warm up,' probably. Bringing a suit may be too time consuming to allow Minion to get in and gain control.

Assuming he was even alright!

She started pacing the small room to expend some of her nervous energy while her thoughts whirled. Ok. What if he's unresponsive when she finds him? She'll need something to carry him in that will keep him submerged. She remembered there were supplies down in the room with Minion's aquariums.

"I need to check on something. Don't leave this room, I'll be right back," she told Kim as she was already walking out the door. "Keep her in here," she instructed two of the brainbots in the hall outside the room.

She ran down to the aquarium room and looked around for something that will work. She noticed a ball on a shelf that looked to be already filled with water. Curiosity getting the best of her, she picked it up and inspected it. There didn't appear to be any kind of hatch or even any seams. It didn't even feel like plastic or glass, but more like a membrane of some kind. Surely Minion would know how to use it. And if not, between her and the brainbots, they can just take whatever container they find him in.

She hefted the ball and turned to leave when she spotted the two aquariums. Seeing both of them reminded her that one was freshwater and the other was saltwater. And Minion used both. And that they were about to vacation at the ocean because he was currently switching from freshwater to saltwater. The likelihood that his abductors knew, or even cared, was low. She turned back to the shelves and grabbed a small bucket of aquarium salt.

"I don't know if this is enough, Minion, but some should be better than none until we can get you back here," she muttered to herself as she hurried the supplies to the invisible car.

The faint scent of coffee drew her back to the computer room and Kim, still working on the computers. A brainbot handed her a coffee mug as she entered the room. She took a sip then asked, "Anything, yet?"

Kim nodded, turned her chair to face Roxanne and said, "I've got an address from the license plate, but the car it's registered to is a different model. So it's likely stolen. I've just got into the MCPD database and am using it and the DMV to run the facial recognition. Unfortunately, I don't know how long that's going to take."

Roxanne groaned and asked, "Ok, worst case – can you give me a ballpark figure for how long?"

Kim glanced at the screens then back to Roxanne with a grimace and answered, "I'd really rather not…"

"Shit. That bad?"

Kim shrugged and said, "Absolute worst case is they've never been arrested and aren't in the MCPD database. With that video though, I don't think they're first-time offenders. But if they're not in the police files, then we're looking through all the driver's licenses in Metro City. And we're not exactly a small town."

"Ugh. Ok. Give me the first address you found. It's a long-shot, but I'll try to send some stealthbots over and see if they can detect Minion," Roxanne instructed.

Kim wordlessly handed her a piece of paper with an address already written on it. Roxanne turned to the brainbots constantly hovering near her and opened her mouth to issue a command. Then closed it again. This was too complex for her to issue the order verbally. The most advanced she's gotten with them was 'bring me coffee.'

Her shoulders slumped and she cursed again, "Dammit, Megamind." She hated feeling useless, and she had only started getting brainbot lessons. She glared in Megamind's direction, which an outside observer would think she was glaring at a point on the left wall. She hoped he was picking up her frustration and anger as well as her worry. At least he had a little worry mixed in with his curiosity now. Escape, dammit!

"Problem?" Kim asked after a lengthy moment of silence had passed.

Roxanne sighed and turned back to her and explained, "They'll need the instructions typed out to them, and I don't know the code. Or language. Or whatever they use."

Kim raised an eyebrow and glanced at the computer behind her. "Um… Do you… want me to look? You said it was this computer, right?"

She put her head in her hands and groaned, "I don't know… You're not even supposed to be here. Megamind is going to be so upset with me about this already."

She heard typing and looked up sharply. Kim, noticing the attention on her said, "It's always easier to ask forgiveness than permission. Besides, I thought we're trying to save Minion. You've got a resource right here that you're paying for. Let me help."

"You're not going to be able to backdoor your way in here later, are you?" Roxanne asked suspiciously.

Kim laughed and replied, "Are you kidding? There are so many proxies, redirects, and firewalls set up, I'd have better luck hacking into the Kremlin and translating all their documents to Welsh without a translation program. I'm surprised there hasn't been a biometric detection system to let me get this far on his local computer."

"Ok, fine. Looks like I can't stop you anyway," Roxanne muttered, but was looking over Kim's shoulder at what she was doing.

Kim chuckled again and said, "Sure you can. I've seen you ordering those brainbots around. You think they wouldn't grab me if you told them to? But you're right about checking an address, it'll need to be typed in. You said stealthbots, right?"

Roxanne nodded and instructed, "Yeah. If you're there, send one squad with thermal sensors to check the address for Minion, then report back via the network."

"You got it, Evil Queen," Kim replied and hit the enter key with a flourish.

"Oh, ha ha," Roxanne replied sarcastically.

Kim turned and looked at her with a raised eyebrow and asked, "Well? Aren't you? You said you're dating Megamind. The supervillain? And he was always asking you to be his Evil Queen."

She felt her cheeks heat up and muttered, "It's not the same thing," as she took another sip of her cooling coffee.

Kim just shrugged and replied with a smirk, "Close enough." Suddenly, there was a ding from the computer. Kim turned sharply to look at it and commented, "Just found a match. Let me get his address. You want to send another stealthbot squad to scout?"

"Absolutely," Roxanne agreed.

"How are you going to rescue him?" Kim asked curiously.

She frowned and admitted, "I hadn't thought that far ahead." How was she going to rescue him? There were three men that nabbed him, but there may be more at wherever he's being held. She had to assume they'd be armed. She had her protections, her de-gun, and the brainbots. Perhaps the spiderbot. She knows how to operate that.

Suddenly the pieces of a plan fell into place and she gasped. "Evil Queen…" she muttered as she stood up. "Minion, I hope you were plotting what I think you were. Stay here!" she instructed Kim as she ran out of the room and towards Minion's craft room.