Imperfect Metamorphosis

by TakerFoxx

It's the first day of spring, and Cirno and her friends are once again up to no good! But after stealing a strange box from Marisa's house, they soon find themselves over their heads as they discover some things are meant to remain locked up.

38. Heavy Metal

Heavy Metal

A low but powerful hum, the kind that you feel in your teeth, filled the manicured lawn of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. The source of the noise was Patchouli Knowledge's Light Barrier Generator, which was just beginning to power on.

Patchouli stood a safe distance away. This was the third such generator she had constructed over the last few weeks. After the first two had failed (both of them explosively), she had started over from scratch, tearing down the design and rebuilding it anew each time. This one resembled the original model only in that it possessed the same gear-shaped platform containing a low, crystal dome, the only component that Patchouli had judged to have been in perfect working condition from the start. However, instead of being surrounded by a series of metal columns, each topped by a different colored gemstone, this one had a four-foot wall of solid glass cut into a hexagonal shape, with each facet a different color to replace the faulty gemstones.

As for Patchouli herself, the mask of arrogant impatience she usually wore was now being marred by no small measure of frustration. Her mouth, well-set in its customary frown of indifference, was now drawn tight, and there were heavy bags under her eyes, so dark that they might have been bruises, that spoke of many nights of sleep missed. While she generally enjoyed solving impossible problems of magic, this one was taking its toll on her.

It wasn't that it was beyond her capabilities to solve (though that may prove to be the case), it was the conditions she was forced to work under. Satsuki was still loose, and despite her promise of a defensive system, the mansion remained just as undefended as ever. Patchouli kept expecting to wake up with her body already half devoured by a hungry gelatinous mass, or to look over her shoulder to see a glowing figure holding the Shadow Youkai's horrific sword coming over the horizon, laughing in anticipation of the slaughter it intended. After all, Patchouli (and Sakuya, she had to admit) had taken a leading role in creating the elixir that had artificially enhanced Satsuki's powers. It had been Patchouli's idea (with perhaps some input from Sakuya) to use Flandre to subdue her. And in the end, Patchouli had been the one to serve as the abomination to all that is good and holy's jailer. And as it made sense for Satsuki to seek revenge against the person who logically posed the greatest threat, it was quite astonishing that she hadn't shown up already.

And then there was her, ahem, employer. Remilia's recent behavior was nothing short of insufferable. And it wasn't that she was hovering over Patchouli's shoulder, bombarding her with the usual barrage of wry sarcasms and unreasonable expectations. That would have been preferable. Instead, she seemed to have forgotten that she had given Patchouli this task. Ever since she and Sakuya had come back from the battle against Yuuka Kazami, Remilia had remained secluded in the clock tower, refusing to see anyone, eating only enough to survive. By now, she had taken Flandre's place as the mansion's mad vampire, locked away from the rest of the world.

While Patchouli certainly did not begrudge Remilia her grief, one had to wonder how long she intended to keep this up. After all, Flandre was not going to be saved by letting herself waste away. She had to return to the world of the living (an ironic way of phrasing things, if one thought about it) sooner or later.

Still, Patchouli had too much on her plate to play grief counselor to overly dramatic vampires. She had a job to do, and unlike Remilia, she intended to see it done.

She felt the currents of magic that surrounded the generator as they slowly rose in strength and intensity. By now, this part was becoming quite routine. The real test would happen once the barrier actually activated.

A quick glance over her shoulder confirmed that, yes, her assistants were still nearby. However, their faith in their boss' chances of success was best demonstrated by the stone wall that they had constructed more than thirty yards away from the generator and were now huddling behind. Tokiko was even wearing a bronze helmet she had salvaged from the armory. Patchouli was rather irritated by the open display of distrust, but considering how the previous attempts had gone, she could not fault them.

And then the rising energies reached the designated point. With a weary sigh, Patchouli gave the mental command.

Just like every time before, there was a brilliant flash of light and a sparkling barrier sprang to life over the generator. Like before, the color was in a constant state of flux, pulsing from one to the next, working its way along the electromagnetic spectrum.

Well, that was done. And now it was time for the tricky part.

Like she had done each time before, Patchouli levitated one of Sakuya's knives directly over the barrier's apex, point down. And then she let it fall.

The first time around the barrier had exploded upon impact. The second time the knife had frozen in place for five seconds before shooting off into the atmosphere, taking the entire generator with it. And then it had exploded.

This time it hit the barrier and bounced its way down to land on the grass. The barrier continued to pulse along, unaffected by the contact.

Patchouli blinked. That was exactly what it was supposed to do. Had she finally found success?

She glanced over to Koakuma and Tokiko, who had dove behind their cover as soon as the barrier had powered on. Koakuma was now peeking out over the top of the wall, clearly wondering when the explosion was going to happen.

Patchouli rolled her eyes in contempt. "Oh ye of little faith," she called over to them. "I told you that I would figure it out sooner or later, did I not? Now, come out from behind that ridiculous-"

Still lying on the grass, the knife started quivering.

"-uh-"

As if it were drawn by some magnetic force, the knife sprang to the barrier's side. It skipped its way up until it was once again standing point-down at the very peak of the barrier.

Patchouli braced herself, ready to cast a shield of the more mundane variety.

But then the knife started to spin around and around, until it was twirling like a drill. It dug its way through the barrier, stopping only when nothing but the hilt remained visible.

And then the barrier deflated, folding in on itself like a canvas deprived of its support. Patchouli watched in equal parts disappointment and fascination as it sank onto the generator, covering it like a blanket.

There was a brief flicker of static, and then the barrier winked out of existence. The knife tumbled again to the grass as the generator simply turned off.

Patchouli remained standing in place for another minute. When she was certain that there was to be no explosion, she took a deep breath and walked over to examine this bizarre new failure.

While she couldn't immediately pinpoint the reason for the barrier's impression of a pricked balloon, she did see that the glass wall, previously flawless, was now shot through with a web of near-microscopic cracks. That in itself told her that her new method was faulty to begin with. Back to the drawing board.

With a sigh, she stood up and walked over to her cowering assistants. "All right," she said. "You can come out now. It's broken, but at least there's no danger of flying shrapnel. I suppose this could be considered a step in the right direction, but considering the circumstances…"

She rolled her eyes, and continued. "At any rate, it would probably be safest not to tempt the fates, so I'll handle the cleanup. You two, go back to the library and…" Her mind faltered. Good gods, she needed sleep. "…go shelve something."

"Yes, Ms. Knowledge!" Koakuma said, clearly relieved to be excused from the testing area. "Right away!" She grabbed Tokiko by the arm and bolted toward the mansion.

Patchouli returned to the generator. She considered dismantling it now, but decided against it. There still was no guarantee that it wasn't a nudge away from blowing to bits, and she would prefer to have her senses and reaction times in a more operable condition before taking the risk. To that end, she simply covered the whole apparatus with a force barrier that would contain any potential explosion and headed back toward the mansion, her thoughts focused on her nice warm bed.

Unfortunately, she was interrupted. Sakuya stood by the door, watching her with an expectant look on her face. Patchouli sighed and kept walking. Whereas Remilia had consigned to becoming a non-entity, Sakuya had taken her defeat as a sign of inadequacy, and was now channeling the humiliation as fuel for a relentless quest to eradicate all signs of weakness, both within herself and throughout the mansion. The fairy maids, already fearful of her, now performed their duties with an energy that could only be described as outright terror, and Hong Meiling was now consuming enough caffeine to initiate cardiac arrest in a Human.

The only reason Patchouli did not join the ranks of the intimidated is because she refused to let herself be cowed. While she did sympathize with what Sakuya and Remilia were going through, she considered herself far too old to put up with such nonsense, even if the aforementioned two were several centuries her senior.

Indeed, even before Patchouli reached the door, Sakuya simply said, "You failed."

Patchouli stopped and regarded the maid with a look of pure disdain. "You know, I do believe you are correct. Thank you for pointing that out. I was about to declare the whole thing an overwhelming success. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go make the appropriate corrections to my reports."

She tried to move past the maid, but was stopped when Sakuya put a hand on her shoulder. It was not a kind gesture.

"The Mistress may have tolerated such insolence," Sakuya said in a low, dangerous voice, "but I will not."

"Is that right?" Patchouli pushed the offending hand from her shoulder. "Promoted yourself to the rank of Mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion already, have we? A bit premature, seeing how Remilia yet lives."

"So long as the Mistress remains indisposed, I will-"

"Indisposed!" Patchouli shouted.

Shocked that Patchouli would dare cut her off, Sakuya didn't even follow up with a retort.

The two women, each far more powerful than anyone ever had a right to be, stared at each other in surprise and resentment. Finally it was Patchouli that broke the silence.

"Indisposed," she said again. "She has been up there for weeks! The mansion is going to pieces, and all she wants to do is cry in a corner-"

Sakuya found her voice then. "How dare you?" she exclaimed. "If you had even a fraction of a clue what she went through-"

"Of course I know, you cretin! You told everyone!"

"As if that brief summary could even begin to explain the mental and emotional torment she is experiencing-"

"Torment you are allowing her to wallow in!"

Sakuya's icy demeanor cracked then. Her hands clenched into shaking fists, and her powdered cheeks flushed bright red.

She whispered, "You would insinuate that the Mistress' current condition is somehow my doing?"

"Of course, everything, from successes to failures, all have to be about you," Patchouli said, rolling her eyes. "Of course I'm not. But you are allowing it to continue!"

"Her orders were perfectly clear-"

"Yes, but in her current state of mind, I wouldn't put much stock in her ability to make rational decisions."

"That doesn't matter! She is the Mistress! Her orders are meant to be obeyed, whether or not-"

Patchouli drew herself up to her (admittedly unimpressive) full height and shouted, "Her orders are nothing short of suicidal, and if she wishes to be treated like the Mistress of this household, then the time has come for her to dry her eyes, blow her nose, come down and start doing her job!"

Her finger jabbed at Sakuya's breastbone. "And if you had so much of an ounce of the loyalty you claim to possess, you would have disregarded her so-called orders for the lunacy they are and saved her from herself weeks ago. Instead, she wastes away while you content yourself by strutting around, playing drill sergeant!"

Truth be told, Patchouli was surprised that she was saying such things. While she was no stranger to pointing out other people's faults, to be so openly vicious with her words was not something she usually did. She attributed it to the lack of sleep, the lack of success, and having had to put up with this nonsense for far too long. Understandable, but still surprising.

And, judging by how Sakuya's cheeks were now the color of roses, the maid quite agreed. This also was a surprise. Sakuya normal reaction to hostility was to grow all the more colder. What little emotion she permitted herself was always under tight control. It was how she operated.

But now, in response to Patchouli's direct accusations, something that should have only resulted in an icy glare, that control was slipping. Her lower lip was started to tremble, and though it flew in the face of all sense, Patchouli could swear that there was a flicker of wetness around her eyes.

And, with a flash of uncharacteristic sympathy, Patchouli understood. How many nights had Sakuya cried herself to sleep, locked away in her room where no one could see? How many times had she relived the battle in her mind, witnessing Flandre's demise over and over again while wondering how she might have prevented it? How many hours had she paced the halls of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, seeing even the slightest deviation from normal operations as a result of her own failure?

It was strange, that losing Flandre would be the cause of all this. After all, the unstable vampire girl had been, hands-down, the least useful member of the household. She produced nothing of worth, never made anything better, and seemed to exist only to be pampered and tucked away in the basement. Furthermore, her insanity and overwhelming power made her an extreme liability. A ridiculous amount of money had gone into fortifying the lower levels against her frequent temper tantrums, and whenever she was permitted to come up, it was with the knowledge that one shift of her mood could potentially result in shattered walls and spilled blood. With all that in mind, her loss, as tragic as it might be, might on some level be considered a relief, the removal of a heavy burden. And yet the household was falling apart as a result.

Patchouli supposed that was what they called love.

With a sigh, she realized what she was about to do. Of course, she had to be the one to do it. After all, who else would?

"Excuse me, please," she said, pushing her way past Sakuya.

Sakuya snapped out of her trance. "And where do you think you're going?" she demanded.

"I'm going to do what you should have done weeks ago. Now, if you had ever cared for her as anything other than a boss, you will stand aside!"

Sakuya said nothing. Patchouli marched inside, not sparing the maid another look.

She made her way through the mansion, taking her course higher and higher, up over the winding staircases until she finally reached the topmost level and stood before the wooden door that led to the clock tower.

Despite her commitment to her course, Patchouli hesitated before opening the door. After all, while necessity demanded her actions, offending an emotionally unstable vampire, especially one as strong as Remilia, was always hazardous, even to one as powerful as Patchouli. And seeing how the Scarlet Devil Mansion was Remilia's place of power, the odds did not favor the magician should things come to a contest of strength.

Still, there was no backing out now. Patchouli opened the door.

Inside, the hundreds of gears that moved the clock's hands revolved endless against each other, many of them hovering in the air with no visible means of support. Patchouli ignored them and looked up, at the rafters.

"Remilia?" she called. "Remilia Scarlet! Come down here, young lady! We need to talk!"

A sharp wind, bitter cold, howled down from the ceiling. Patchouli winced and held onto her cap as it tore at her heavy robes. "Enough of this childish behavior!" she snapped.

"Go away!" hissed a voice like dead leaves.

"No! Not until you pull yourself together and start doing your duty!"

There was a thin shriek of anger, and something small dropped from the roof to lunge at Patchouli's neck. The magician, who had been expecting such an attack, merely lifted up her hand and muttered a ward. A massive, encircled six-pointed star blinked to life directly in front of her. The falling figure collided with the barrier and rolled into a wheezing heap on the floor.

Patchouli stared. She had known that Remilia's condition had suffered due to her self-imposed isolation, but she hadn't known that it had been this bad. Her skin had withered and now stretched tightly over her skeleton. Her once fine clothing now hung in filthy tatters to her bony frame. Stringy blue hair, caked with dust and spiderwebs, hung about her wide, yellow-red eyes, and her fingernails, usually perfectly manicured, were now nibbled to ragged nubbins.

Suddenly Patchouli felt her anger giving way to pity. It was difficult to maintain any genuine ire toward this pathetic creature. Remilia was showing definite signs of Stage One Blood Starvation. If allowed to progress, her condition would deteriorate until she was little better than a zombie that craved blood instead of brains.

However, hugging her and whispering "Poor baby" wasn't what Remilia needed at this point. Patchouli recalled how Remilia had let herself to descend to this state, summoned up as much contempt as she could, and said, "Remilia Scarlet, just look at yourself! What are you trying to accomplish?"

Still wheezing, Remilia spat out a gob of yellow mucus, looked up at Patchouli with eyes full of resentment and gargled, "Leave me alone!"

"And let you continue to destroy yourself?" Patchouli demanded. "The great Scarlet Devil, reduced to a weak and filthy madwoman, lacking even the sense to pick herself up out of the dust!"

"Go!" Remilia slashed out in Patchouli's direction. "I…I deserve this!"

"Oh, so it's shame that drives you to do this? Guilt? Perhaps by suffering, you hope to atone for your sins?" Patchouli shook her head. She was now finding it less difficult to feel contempt for the vampire. "Pathetic. You and I both know better. You know this has nothing to do with Flandre."

The sound of her dearly departed sister's name seemed to ignite a fire within the fallen vampire. "You!" Remilia practically screeched as she scrambled to her feet. "You dare…speak her name…"

"That's the second time today that someone's had the nerve to be offended that I spoke the truth," Patchouli said. "And yes, I do. Because you're not doing this as a means of penance. No, you're making this about you, like you always do. It isn't enough for you to quietly mourn and come to terms with what has happened. You have to go and make some grand gesture, turn yourself into the dark, tragic figure, secluding yourself in the clock tower as an outward expression of grief. Yes, it's all very dramatic. But tell me, Remi. Where has that gotten you, hmmm? And how, exactly, will this help Flandre?"

"You don't understand!" Remilia cried. Tears flowed freely from her eyes as she implored Patchouli. "You can't understand! It's all my fault! She died because of me!"

Patchouli sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes. She wouldn't have been there if it hadn't been for your thickheaded idea to blackmail Yukari Yakumo. We know. But are you really so self-centered so as to claim all the blame for yourself? After all, was it not I, with some marginal assistance from Sakuya, that created the beast that jumpstarted this whole catastrophe to begin with? Was it not Yukari that insisted that Flandre be used as a weapon? And further to the point…"

Patchouli marched straight up to Remilia, bent over and jabbed at the wasted vampire's chest with her finger. "Whose hand was it that pierced Flandre's heart? Why, I do believe it was Yuuka Kazami's! But no, let's forget all that. Let's declare the whole thing to be wholly your doing, despite the fact that it flies in the face of all logic!"

"Don't you dare touch me!" Remilia cried, swatting Patchouli aside.

Patchouli flew through the air to smash into a cluster of floating gears. The machinery proved to be more resilient than the magician's soft body, and Patchouli slumped to the ground, dazed by the impact. That hadn't been expected. Even in the state she was, Remilia's strength was still substantial.

"You…you stupid, stupid bookworm!" Remilia hissed as she staggered over to where Patchouli lay. "Acting like you're so smart. But you know what you are! A nerd! A stupid, know-it-all nerd!"

Despite the pain Patchouli's back was in, she felt more aggravation than anything. Had things really become this stupid? Whining and name calling?

"All right, that's enough," she growled. She held out her right hand. There was a blinding flash, and it was Remilia's turn to fly backward.

"You can knock me around all you want," Patchouli said as she rose unsteadily to her feet. "You can scream, pout, throw things, I don't care. And you can remain locked up in this tower, tearing your ears apart every time the bells strike a new hour, letting yourself waste away into a skeleton. But that will solve nothing! Yuuka will still have Flandre in her clutches, to mold into anything she pleases, and you will have done nothing to prevent it!"

"Or!" she said, before Remilia had a chance to recover enough to retort. "Or, you can get your act together. You can get over yourself. You can halt the decay that has set in, become the Scarlet Devil once again, and you can go to Yuuka Kazami, tear your sister out of her hands, and show that botanical lunatic what happens to those who humiliate Remilia Scarlet!"

Remilia stared up at her, her mouth slightly open. Patchouli wasn't sure how much of an effect her words were having, but Remilia was listening. Yes, she was listening

Patchouli knelt down next to the little vampire. "We've been friends for a long time, Remilia," she said softly. "And I know we irritate each other constantly. But I also know how much you love Flandre, and it hurts me to see you like this. So please, get over your self-absorbed pity party. Pull yourself together, and become the woman who won my respect and loyalty to begin with."

Remilia let out a choking sob. Her withered shoulders shook as she doubled over.

And then she grabbed Patchouli in a fierce embrace. The magician almost recoiled at the sudden physical contact, but stifled the impulse just in time.

"Why couldn't I do it, Patchy?" Remilia sobbed into her friend's shoulder. "Why couldn't I protect her?"

"Because you're a stuck-up, self-absorbed little idiot who constantly lets your ego drive you to make stupid decisions," Patchouli said as she gingerly put her arms around Remilia's frail body. "But I try not to hold that against you."

Remilia managed a shuddering laugh. "You're the one to talk."

"Touché," Patchouli sighed. "But that would make me qualified to call it when I see it, now wouldn't it?"

"I suppose so," Remilia said. She slowly drew back and blew her nose on Patchouli's sleeve. Patchouli grimaced but didn't protest. She just pointed a finger at the gob of thick mucus and disintegrated it. Then she helped Remilia to her feet.

Remilia faltered but managed to stand. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't apologize," Patchouli said. "Just promise me you'll stop moping, and we'll be even."

"Not about that! Well, yes, about that too, but I'm sorry. For hitting you."

"Forget it," Patchouli grunted. "One can't confront an emotional wreck of a vampire without expecting a few bruises."

"I mean before. You know, when this…all began."

Patchouli frowned. Then she blinked. "Oh, right. That." Truth be told, she had almost forgotten about that. "Well, you should be! But apology accepted. And, for what it's worth, I'm sorry for my part in creating the creature, endangering your sister during the containment attempt, and for using your home as its prison without your leave. Now, can we move past the tearful hugging and apologizing? It does not suit us."

"You are correct, it does not," Remilia laughed. "You're a good friend, Patchouli. More than I give you credit for." She closed her eyes and moved her face closer to Patchouli's arm. "And…your smell is…quite appealing-"

"All right, that's enough of that!" Patchouli cried as she shoved Remilia away. "If you're so starved that you crave my anemic blood, then you truly are in bad shape. May I suggest an alternative: you restrain your hunger for a few minutes longer, and we'll go downstairs and have Sakuya make you some breakfast? I assure you, you'll find that to be far more appetizing."

Remilia shuddered. "You are…correct, of course. My apologies."

"Glad we had that settled," Patchouli muttered. Still, as a precaution, she cast a quick spell that masked her scent. Remilia rolled her eyes but didn't protest.

Patchouli took Remilia by the hand and led her from the clock tower. The mansion seemed deserted as they passed through the upper levels. But when they reached the staircase that led down into the foyer, what they saw made them stop and stare.

The entirety of the mansion's staff was gathered in the room below. Dozens of fairy maids clustered together, whispering nervously. Koakuma and Tokiko were sitting in a corner together, caught up in some kind of argument. Hong Meiling paced back and forth in front of the front door. Sakuya stood at the foot of the stairs, looking worried out of her mind.

As soon a Patchouli and Remilia appeared, all conversation ceased. Everyone turned their heads upward to stare at the pair.

Remilia cleared her throat. "Well," she said, her voice raspy. "This is…Ah, I know I haven't exactly…"

And then the room burst out into thunderous applause. Dumbstruck, Patchouli and Remilia could only stand frozen as the fairy maids soared into the air, cheering loudly. Hong Meiling jumped up and pumped her fists. Koakuma and Tokiko clapped enthusiastically, relieved smiles on their faces.

As for Sakuya, she did not jump in place. She did not voice a cheer. She didn't even clap her hands. She simply marched straight up the stairs until she was standing in front of the pair. She stared down at the wreck Remilia had become, her face a frozen mask.

Remilia blinked. "Sakuya, I-"

Sakuya lunged. She seized Remilia by the arms, pulled her fully off the ground and smothered her in a crushing embrace. And, for the first time in her life, Patchouli saw Sakuya Izayoi cry.

Everyone started cheering again. Caught up in their tearful reunion and whispering apologies to each other, Sakuya and Remilia didn't even notice.

Patchouli sighed. "You're quite welcome," she said. When this failed to elicit a response, she shrugged and made her way down the stairs. Now that the Mistress had been saved, her thoughts were focused solely on her bed.

She didn't even get halfway before she was mobbed. Suddenly, she was crowded around on all sides by enthusiastic fairies, all falling over each other in their rush to congratulate her.

"I can't believe you brought her back!"

"Sakuya's not so scary anymore! Thank you!"

"Man, we thought she was going to eat you!"

"Did she turn you into a vampire too? Can youkai even become vampires?"

"You're so cool! Can I have your autograph?"

"Thank you, thank you," Patchouli groused as she tried to push her way through. "You're all too kind. Now, if you'll please let me through-"

That was when Tokiko and Koakuma each grabbed her by an arm. Before she could inquire as to their intentions, they lifted her off the ground and onto Hong Meiling's shoulders.

"Three cheers for Patchy!" Hong shouted to the crowd. "Hip-hip…"

"HOORAY!" the room roared.

As Hong paraded her through the gaggle of adoring fans and the chants, cheers and praises continued, Patchouli just groaned and buried her face in her hands. At this rate, she was never going to get her nap.

…

While the Scarlet Devil Mansion was busy pushing itself toward recovery, others were plunging headlong to potential disaster. Reimu Hakurei flew through the clear, spring sky, heading toward the Youkai Mountain will all speed. Next to her, Marisa Kirisame leaned forward on her broom, heading in the same direction.

It was a familiar state of circumstances: the two of them flying together to confront some sort of problem. However, the exact details of the incident were twisting Reimu's stomach into knots. Rushing forward to confront an unknown danger and save the day was familiar, almost routine, territory. Rushing forward to confront a known but completely unstable danger with the spirit of notorious serial killer locked away in its mind while everyone Reimu was supposed to be protecting got in her way and put themselves in danger in some sort of foolhardy attempt to be the hero that brings down the beast was something else entirely.

Reimu had been in this business a long time. As such, she had developed a sort instinctive sense that told her when she was going to have another bad day. And boy howdy, was it going off now.

Marisa maneuvered her broom within earshot. "So, what the plan?" she called.

"Plan?" Reimu asked.

"Yeah! You've got a plan, right?"

Reimu blinked. "Marisa, we only found out about this maybe ten minutes ago! Why in the hell would I have come up with a plan?"

"I dunno. I sure haven't, so I figured maybe you did, ze!"

"Since when have I ever had a plan?" Reimu demanded. "Most of the time we just show up and make it up as we go along!"

Marisa laughed. "Nothing wrong with that! The last plan I was part of was a complete disaster, and didn't get better until we started making shit up!"

"Right. Well, that's what your best at, right?"

Marisa flicked the brim of her hat and favored Reimu with a cocky grin. "Damned right, I am! Well, that and property damage."

Reimu sighed. "Just so long as you remember to stick with the former and ease up on the latter, we should be fine."

"I make no promises. But seriously, when we do find Satsuki, what do we do?"

"We…" Reimu sighed again. "Well, try to keep people away from her, try to keep her away from people, try to talk sense in her, try to beat sense into her if that doesn't work, and pretty much just make things up as we go along."

"Eh, I've heard worse ideas," Marisa said with a shrug. "Though you do realize that part of the-Hold up!"

Reimu looked up to see a fairy gang heading directly toward them. And, judging by the looks of almost maniacal glee on the little creatures' faces, the collision course was not accidental.

This was confirmed when hundreds of tiny bullets in yellow and green headed Reimu and Marisa's way.

Moving as if linked by a single mind, Reimu and Marisa spun around the hail of danmaku and separated, Marisa heading above the cluster of tiny fairies while Reimu swooped low. Before the fairies even realized that they had missed, they found themselves under attack as Reimu strafed them from below with a flurry of explosive ofuda charms. This sudden show of opposition incited a mass panic within the gang's internal structure, and the fairies flew this way and that, crashing into each other in their mad rush to escape.

Unfortunately for them, that was when Marisa made her move.

A swarm of shooting stars rained down from above, sparkling in a myriad of colors, trailing their glittering tails behind them. It was all very pretty, but as they fell among the fairies, they exploded, showering their victims with destructive sparks. When the smoke cleared, nothing remained but falling fairy dust.

That done, Reimu and Marisa reunited, and as that brief scuffle was so routine that it didn't even merit mentioning, Marisa simply picked up where she had left off: "You do realize that part of the problem is that we gotta find Satsuki before we do any of that, right?"

"I know," Reimu said. "But I really don't think that's going to be a problem."

"Yeah?" Marisa looked at her quizzically. "And how are you planning on doing that, ze?"

Reimu shrugged. "Same way I always find you. Just follow the explosions."

…

Humming to herself, Sanae tipped the bowl full of batter into the waffle iron, filling the tiny grooves with the pale ooze. At her side, Suwako stood on a stool and flipped the omelets with a spatula.

Breakfast was always an early affair at Moriya Shrine. After all, many of their worshippers were early risers, and it would be bad business not to be ready to accommodate them. However, Kanako had always been a slow riser, so, per tradition, she sat at the table while Sanae and Suwako prepared the meal, sipping a cup of coffee while her half-lidded eyes scanned the daily news.

As she set the griddle's lid over the batter, Sanae glanced over to her goddess. "Anything about the attack?"

Given the disconnected manner of its communities and the sheer size of the Wilds, news tended to move slowly, at least in an official format. Gossip, however, was bound by no such restrictions, and Kanako's status as the matriarch of two of Gensokyo's major civilizations meant that she was privy to sensitive information before it was made public, sometimes even before the likes of Aya Shameimaru and her rivals could get their hands on it. At any rate, word of what had gone down in the Ancient City had reached Kanako hours after it had occurred. Especially since she already had all of her informants keeping their ears to the ground for any news concerning Rin Satsuki.

Kanako yawned as she looked up from the paper. "In a sense," she said. "I really have to give Aya credit for even hearing about it, just like I need to find out who her snoops are so I can have them arrested." She tossed the morning's copy of the Bunbunmaru aside. "But really, the whole thing reads more like an advertisement for that ridiculous bounty, and made the oni seem like competition for the hunters." She groaned and massaged her forehead with her fingertips. "As if those people don't have problems enough."

"So you're going to do what you said?" Suwako asked. "And help with the rebuilding efforts?"

Kanako shrugged. "I see no reason why not. A show of good faith never hurt anyone, and this country is starved for neighborly support. And let's be honest: the more damage we can prevent from this disaster, the better."

"Though," she said, tapping her lower lip in thought, "come to think of it, maybe this isn't so much as a disaster as an opportunity making itself known. If we can build up enough support in the Underground, we might be able to start gathering faith from there as well. Perhaps even expand the franchise. I've been thinking about building a sister shrine for some time now, and the Ancient City might be the perfect place-"

An oven mitt flew through the air to hit her in the head. "No!" Suwako declared, hopping off her stool and jamming her tiny fists onto her hips. "No exploiting horrible disasters for personal gain! We've already talked about this!"

Kanako blinked in surprise. She looked up, her pupils narrowing to reptilian slits. Apparently sensing another argument brewing, Sanae tiptoed toward the corner of the kitchen, ready to get out of the way.

Indeed, Kanako was ready to start debating the point, but after a few seconds of careful consideration she thought better of it. "Eh, okay. You've got a point," she grumbled, taking another sip of coffee. "Maybe that was a little heartless."

Suwako relaxed. "Just a little," she said, getting back onto the stool and returning her attention to the eggs. "Though you still haven't answered the fifty-million yen question."

"And what might that be?"

"The fact that it was Rin stinking Satsuki that started the rumble in the first place," Suwako said, gesturing with her spatula. "What are planning on doing about that?"

Kanako frowned. "But she's not there anymore."

"So? She's still been driven out of hiding. And you told Reimu that you'd help fix the girl."

Kanako cocked an eyebrow. "I said help, not jump headlong into a brawl. This isn't a problem that's going to be solved by making a bad situation even-"

The rest of her sentence was cut off by the sound of a loud crash coming from outside, as if a comet had just hit. The shrine maiden and her two goddesses stared at each other as they wondered what in the world that had been. Then, as one, they all rushed for the front door.

The top of the Youkai Mountain was often covered by thick clouds in the morning, which meant the entirety of the shrine grounds were covered with swirling fog. However, as the mystery object had come down right in front of the house, they had no difficulty making it out.

The comet comparison now seemed even more appropriate. A burning trench, at least seven feet long, had been scoured through the gravel path. But the object that was stumbling its way out of the trench was no chunk of extraterrestrial mineral. It was a woman, and a very strange one at that. The glowing lavender eyes and talon-like fingers could be dismissed as standard youkai equipment. However, the aura of black, red, and purple was a bit more noteworthy. As were certain facial features.

Kanako was nothing but intelligent. And her memory was exceptionally good. She had already met Kaguya Houraisan in person, and had seen pictures of Rumia of the Darkness and Fujiwara no Mokou. And given that who her mind was already focused on, it did not take much to start drawing certain conclusions about their surprise trespasser.

"Stupid mountain," the woman grumbled to herself. Her voice sounded like rusted cans. "Why do you have to be so hard to see anyway?"

Then she looked up and saw Kanako, Sanae, and Suwako staring at her.

"Oh," she said, her head jerking back in surprise. Her eyes flitted from one face to the other. "Er, s-sorry about your…" she glanced at the still-flaming rut, "…ground. Couldn't see where I was going, you know? So, ah, I'll just be getting out of your hair, 'kay?"

"Rin…Satsuki?" Kanako said, her hesitation coming not from uncertainty but from disbelief that this individual would show up in such dramatic fashion at her front door.

At the sound of the name, both Suwako and Sanae stared at the elder goddess in shock, but she didn't pay them any mind. Her attention was focused on the strange woman standing before her, who was also staring at her in shock.

"Oh," the woman said. "Er…uh oh."

Then, before anyone could say anything, the woman was already back in the air and flying away in panic.

Sanae immediately moved to follow, but Kanako grabbed her by the shoulder. "Where do you think you're going?" she demanded. "Have you lost her mind?"

"But…that's her!" Sanae protested, pointing at the sky. "Rin Satsuki!"

"I think we've figured that part out," Suwako said. She seemed transfixed by the burning gouge Satsuki had left behind.

"We can't let her get away!" Sanae said.

"I never said we were," Kanako said. "But just running after her is suicide! Remember what's happened to everyone who's tried?"

"But I can't just stay here and do nothing!"

"She's right, Kanako," Suwako said. "You can't stick her on the sidelines this time."

"Who ever said I was going to? I'm just trying to reduce the number of people doing stupid things!"

"Then-"

Kanako looked down at Sanae's pleading face and sighed. "Look, if you want to do something so badly, go and find Reimu and have her get her little keister over here. This is her pet project, so she can come deal with it herself. And while you're doing that, keep an eye out for the Palaquin. I heard it's patrolling the area, and we can use Captain Murasa's help as a deterrent. But, under no circumstances, are you to try to confront Rin Satsuki. That's an order. Understand?"

"Got it!" Sanae leapt into the air and shot off. To Kanako's relief, it was the opposite direction from the one Satsuki had taken. She didn't really think Sanae would disobey a direct order, but she didn't like to make assumptions.

Suwako scratched her chin. "Why not just send that snake of yours to get Hakurei?" she asked. "It'd be quicker."

Kanako grunted. "This early? It'd take him half an hour just to wake up. Besides, the further Sanae is away from this mess, the better. And hopefully it'll all be over before she gets back."

"You don't really believe that, do you?" Suwako said with a laugh.

Kanako didn't, but she wasn't about to admit that. "As for you," she said to the little frog goddess, "head down to Boss Tenma and wake him up. Have him mobilize the Hanataka to act as crowd control. We'll need all the help we can get to keep people away from Satsuki. And after that, head over to the Kappa Village and see if you can't scare up the Head Engineer and get her help. Same rules apply. Crowd control, no direct confrontation. I don't want so much as a fairy going anywhere near Satsuki."

Suwako shrugged. "No problem. But what are you planning on doing?"

Kanako aimed a kick at Suwako's rump. "Just get going."

…

Unfortunately for Kanako, Sanae's errand to Hakurei Shrine did not keep her away from the action nearly as long as she had hoped. After all, Reimu and Marisa were already well on their way, and Sanae met them when they were a little more than two-thirds of the way there. An exchange of information quickly followed, and soon all three were heading back toward the Youkai Mountain and the surrounding area.

As they flew, Reimu peppered her fellow shrine maiden with questions. "Did she seem threatening in any way? I mean, did she look like she wanted to attack you?"

Sanae shook her head. "Well, no, actually. She looked like she got lost in the clouds and ran into us by mistake. In fact, as soon as Kanako figured out who she was, she got out of there as fast as she could."

"Humph," Marisa grunted. "Well, that's kinda promising. At least she hasn't gone full psychopath."

"Which may change if people keep shooting her," Reimu warned.

"Well, obviously. Hell, wouldn't you?"

Reimu would, actually. Which was the main reason she wanted to get there before things again spiraled out of control. "What about the bounty hunters?" she said to Sanae. "Will Kanako be able to control them?"

"Probably. She'll give it her best shot, definitely. I can't promise that nobody will get in the way, but she'll be able to keep the worst of the rabble away."

"About the best we can hope for," Reimu muttered. She took a deep breath. "Okay, here we go."

It didn't take long for them to cover the rest of the distance, and soon they were speeding around the side of the Youkai Mountain, searching the surrounding forests and fields for any sign of the inevitable conflict.

"Shouldn't you be gone by now?" Reimu said as they swung past the Waterfall of Nine Heavens. "I'm pretty sure Kanako doesn't want you anywhere near this mess."

Sanae grimaced. "I know. But I'm not just going to sit in my room and hide. Just because I can't get directly involved doesn't mean I won't keep an eye on things."

"That's gonna get a little difficult when Satsuki sucks them right out of your skull," Marisa noted. "I guess you can always keep an ear on things. Or nose. Hey Reddie, yah think Satsuki will leave her nose alone, ze? Maybe all the snot will keep her away. Unless she likes to suck that too, you never know."

"You're not helping," Reimu told her as Sanae rolled her eyes. "Also, ew. Can you please knock it off with the disgusting wisecracks and concentrate on looking for-"

They swung around a stone outcropping, revealing a small valley ringed by a range of hills.

"-any sign of…Oh, hello."

The three girls came to a stop. The Hanataka hovered at attention above the hills. Their polearms were held stiffly in front of them, and their masks conveyed the grimness of the situation. Down in the valley, a mass evacuation was taking place, as dozens of fairies, youkai, a few Humans and various other entities were being herded out by several Kappa equipped with weapons that Reimu couldn't even begin to describe.

Marisa whistled through her teeth. "Guess this is the place, ze. But damn, Kanako works fast!"

"I'll say," Reimu said in appreciation.

"Thank you," Sanae said. "And you're welcome."

Reimu didn't even bother with a witty comeback. Credit where was credit was due, Kanako had come through. If this was what the resources possessed by her allies afforded her, then perhaps she should start taking advantage of them more often. That is, of course, assuming that they weren't successful in bringing Rin around today. But she wasn't nearly so optimistic to expect something like that.

"So where do you think this is?" Marisa gestured down at the valley. "I mean, what if she's gone underground again?"

"I think Kanako has already prepared for that possibility," Sanae said. "After all, the Kappa have state-of-the-art excavation equipment."

"Since when does several tons of dynamite count as 'state-of-the-art'?" Reimu muttered as she scanned the scene. She didn't really expect to spot Rin from the air, but perhaps she could pick out one of those taint trails she was always leaving. "Still, this is gonna be a whole lot easier without the riffraff getting in the-"

Marisa suddenly seized Reimu by the arm, her fingers digging tightly into the muscle.

"Ow!" she cried, wrenching her arm free. "The hell was that for?"

And then she got a good look at Marisa's face.

Over the many years of their friendship, Reimu had grown to know the expressions that the young witch was most comfortable wearing. Cockiness was a common sight, as was arrogance, mischievousness, greed, anger, and sometimes outright lunacy. On occasions, rare as they were, Marisa would soften and emote such things as concern, chagrin, and even compassion. Those didn't happen often, but Reimu had seen them enough times to confirm that they existed.

However, she could probably count on one hand the times she had seen Marisa display outright shock. Not surprise, but pure, white-faced astonishment, as she was now.

"Uh, Marisa?" Reimu said. "What…"

Then she looked at Sanae, who was likewise staring in the same direction as Marisa, her jaw hanging open and eyes popping out.

Marisa pointed a shaking finger and said something that sounded like, "Uhbuhbwah."

While Reimu was unfamiliar with the phrase "Uhbuhbwah," the sentiment was clear. She turned, readying herself for what promised to be something big, something completely horrible, something that was going to ruin everything.

And when she saw what it was, Reimu own face when white as a sheet as she joined her friends in slack-jawed staring.

…

Deep Within

Rumia watched grimly through Rin's eyes as the Kappa and Tengu scurried through the air and the ground, clearing the valley of all its occupants. Rin had taken shelter in a thicket, and though the surrounding foliage kept them out of sight, they still had a good view of what was going on around them.

"What are they doing?" Rin wondered out loud. "Why aren't they looking for us?"

"Isn't obvious?" Rumia muttered. "They're getting everyone out of the way so they can cage us in. Duh." After a brief moment of reconsideration she added, "That, or they're going to just drop a bomb on us. Hey, how are you at surviving bombs?"

"Pretty good," Rin said, though her heart obviously wasn't in it. "But it's not fun. So, any ideas?"

Rumia shot her a sidelong look. "That cave of slugs is miles away, dumbass. Go down."

Rin whimpered. "But every time I do-"

"Things go bad, yeah. But just sitting here is suicide. And going straight up," Rumia pointed at the Tengu warriors taking position in the air, "ain't the best idea either. So just close your eyes when you start digging. That way, if we go through anyone, you won't know."

"Yeah, that's not going to happen," Rin hissed. "I told you, I'm not…Wait…"

"What?" Rumia said. Then she looked at the screen and promptly forgot how to speak.

There was something entering the valley, something that was sending the Tengu into a frenzy. They shook their polearms at it and tried warding it off with blasts of danmaku. It paid them no mind as it plodded up and over the hills.

It had to be at least thirty feet tall and made from what looked like polished bronze, though in this day and age Rumia would not be surprised if it turned out to be some sort of magical new alloy. Its body was compose of three components: a huge, oval back section studded with blinking lights and smoke-belching exhaust ports, a small middle section that contained a spinning radar dish, and at the front of the whole contraption was a single unblinking red eye. The thing strode forward on eight thin, multiple-jointed legs that extended out of the middle section, four to each side.

"Rumia?" Rin said in a small voice.

"Uh…Huh?"

"Is that…Is that a giant one-eyed metal spider?"

Rumia took a deep breath. Oh yes, this was going to be painful. "Yes Rin. That is indeed a giant one-eyed metal spider."

…

Rika Asakura hunched over the Strutter's technical readouts, watching for any sign of deviating from the safe zone. "Come on, baby," she muttered. "Keep it together."

"Don't worry so much," Rikako said. "She's passed every test so far."

"Shut up, you'll attract the jinx gods," Rika hissed.

The two of them sat in the Strutter's cramped cockpit, surrounded by the various switches, buttons, and levers required to keep it going. Thus far, it had made the journey from the Human Village without trouble, which was a heartening sign. Still, since this was the Strutter's maiden voyage, Rika found herself fretting over every unexpected groan.

Still, Rikako had been correct. The Strutter was their greatest creation thus far, surpassing even their previous magnum opus, the Evil Eye Sigma, which had been wrecked by none other than Reimu Hakurei a few years back. Not wanting to allow something so beautiful go to waste, the Asakura sisters had salvaged the Sigma and had reconverted it into the Strutter's cockpit. Rika considered it a rebirth of sorts.

But now that they were actually taking it into battle, and it was taking a grand effort of willpower for Rika not to gnaw away at her fingernails. Her brown eyes flitted from one gauge to the other, convinced that at any second they would all dip into the danger zone.

"Rika," Rikako suddenly hissed. "Problem."

Rika's heart leapt into her throat. "What? What? What broke?"

"Nothing! But I think those guys want to change that."

Rika looked up to see several Tengu wearing weird masks and carrying gleaming bladed sticks putting themselves in the Strutter's path. They kept shouting and making threatening gestures with their weapons.

"I think they want us to leave," Rikako said.

"Yeah, no shit," Rika snorted. "Well, guess we found the competition." She reached up to pull down three levers. "Let's clean up the playing field."

…

"I, er, duwhat?" Sanae said, unable to articulate further than that.

"Reimu, be honest with me here," Marisa muttered to the shrine maiden. "Did I fall off the wagon with the mushrooms again? It's okay to be honest, I won't be offended."

Reimu rubbed her eyes, blinked several times, and looked again. Nope, the giant bronze spider with a huge eyeball fixated to its front was still marching into the valley. "If you did, I'm in the same boat here. I mean, holy wow. Where in the hell did-"

Then she frowned. "Waitaminute, I've seen that thing before!"

"You have? Ha! I knew you were getting into my mushrooms."

"No, I'm serious! The Asakuras had that thing sitting in their workshop!"

Sanae blinked. "The Asakuras? You mean those nutty inventors from the Human Village?"

"Yup," Reimu nodded. "I was the one who gave them Yukari's summons. You know, for that Ringleader thing?" She motioned toward the many-legged contraption. "They were working on it when I showed up."

"Guess they finished it," Marisa observed, rubbing her chin. "You think they're here for the little snot-ball too?"

"I'd be very surprised if they were just taking their pet abomination for a walk," Reimu said. She took a deep breath. "Okay, this is all kinds of bad. We gotta get that thing out of here, before-"

The monolithic arachnid suddenly stopped plodding forward. Tiny openings appeared all along its carapace, and a barrage of rockets shot forth in bursts of smoke and fire. The Hanataka immediately scattered as the rockets exploded in their midst.

"Well, there goes our crowd control," Sanae muttered as the Hanataka hightailed away from the monstrosity. She glanced down at the valley itself to see that the Tengu were not alone in their desire to be elsewhere. "And there goes the Kappa. So much for discipline."

"Normally I'd agree, but in this case, I really can't blame them," Reimu said. Her shoulders heaved with a heavy sigh. "Well, I guess we'd better get to work taking that thing out before-"

Sanae screamed.

Reimu spun around, ready for immediate action. She expected to see her fellow shrine maiden under attack, but Sanae was fine. She was, however, once again staring at the valley with her mouth agape and her eyes bulging out of her skull.

"Oh, oh shitting bricks," Marisa said, her eyes fixated in the same direction as Sanae's. "Hey Reddie, you gotta see this. The crazy train has just jumped the tracks, ze."

Fearing the worst, Reimu looked. And then her brain once again locked up.

There was a second several story metal monstrosity striding into the valley, this one of a humanoid shape. Its movement was far smoother than that of the Asakuras' spider, and it didn't release clouds of steam with every step. The sun glinted off its golden head, and its eyes glowed pink.

Sanae screamed again, and this time Reimu realized that the cry was not one of pain, fear, or warning, but a squeal of delight. "She did it!" Sanae sputtered. "Oh my gods, she actually built it!"

Marisa gasped. "Hold up! I've seen that thing before! Ain't that the-"

"Yes!" Sanae cheered. "It's the godsdamned Hisoutensoku!"

…

Nitori Kawashiro hung suspended in the center of the Hisoutensoku's cockpit. Thick cables and curling wires trailed in and out of the grey rubber full-body suit she wore. Her arms and legs slowly moved forward, imitating the motion of walking. Motion sensors in the suit captured her movement and sent the data through the cables and wires to the Hisoutensoku's hard drive, which in turn sent the command to the giant robot's limbs to copy her movements. A large visor covered her eyes. On it, a digital representation of whatever the Hisoutensoku was seeing was displayed before her, while smaller screens arrayed around the primary one gave her a 360 view of her surroundings.

It was her crowning glory, her proudest achievement, perhaps the greatest thing produced by a Kappa, period. It had also cost her a ridiculous amount of money, most of which she planned on recovering during today's little excursion. As such, she got to field test the Hisoutensoku and regain her lost expenses all in one go. It was about a beautiful setup as she could ask for.

The mic in her ear crackled, and Hunter's voice came through. "Hey, big guy. Everything working okay?"

"Perfectionly!" she said with a wide grin. "Everything working out ah-heys!" She quickly scanned the valley floor. "But no cans sees you, anyplaces! Wheres be you?"

"Don't worry about me, I'm here. Just make sure you're ready when the fireworks start." There was a brief pause, and then Hunter added, "Which may be sooner than later. There's a bunch of Tengu that look like they want to get in the way, and it looks like they've got a lot of your kind helping them."

"Eh?" Frowning, Nitori gave a brief mental command to scan for Tengu and Kappa lifesigns. Sure enough, there were a great deal of them in the valley she was approaching. And from the look of things, this wasn't a friendly gathering.

"Yeah, I think the competition got here first," Hunter said from wherever she was. "Damn it. I just hope the bounty's not so important to them that they try to take your toy down."

Nitori zoomed in on one of the Tengu, giving her a good view of its mask. Uh-oh. "Er, don't be thinkings dat dey's bounty hunterings. Lookie like dey be der Hanataka."

"The who now? Wait, aren't they like…some kind of Tengu police force?"

"Sometheres like dat…"

"Crap," Hunter hissed. "The hell are they doing here? Yukari Yakumo said that the bounty was legal! Oh, shut up, I don't care. We're outside of Kanako's area of control anyway."

Perplexed, Nitori said, "Who'yer talkings at?"

"Never mind! Okay, hopefully they won't give us trouble, but if they do…Uh…"

Nitori frowned and tapped the side of her helmet. Was the mic broken. "Hey, Hunter? Wherein you be?"

"Er, sorry. But wow, you have got to see this. Look to the southwest."

Nitori did so.

"Holy bastard offspring of the gods," Hunter said. "I knew we had to worry about competition, but damn! I guess it's a good thing I teamed up with you after all, eh?"

Nitori didn't reply. She had forgotten how.

After a few more moments had passed by, Hunter took notice of her partner's silence. She cleared her throat and said, "Ah, Nitori? You still there?"

"Uh…" Nitori said as she continued to gawk at the metal arachnid as it lurched its way into he valley. "…I dink so…"

"Fantastic. Er, I really hate to press you, but that thing doesn't look friendly. And…Yup, it saw you."

True enough, the spider's single glowing eye had focused on the Hisoutensoku. It stopped in its tracks, apparently as surprised to see Nitori's vehicle as Nitori was to see it.

However, its shocked stupor did not last long. With an angry puff of steam it started striding toward the Hisoutensoku. Two ball-joint forearms extended out from its underbelly, serrated pincers clanking. The challenge was clear.

"Well, I can see where this is going," Hunter muttered. "All right, change of plans. I'm going to keep looking for Satsuki. Can you handle the arachnid?"

Nitori snapped herself out of her own trance. She scowled and readied the Hisoutensoku's weapon systems. "Yeah," she said. "I gots dis."

…

"I thought that thing was a balloon!" Reimu shouted. "I'm sure it was a balloon! Just a big blow-up version of the Kappa Bazaar mascot! Why is it real now?

Sanae would not stop grinning. "Nitori Kawashiro always kept saying she would make it for real, but I never took her seriously. But…holy crap, she actually did it!"

"Nitori made that?" Marisa said, perking up. "Damn! Why didn't she give me one of those when we went underground, ze?"

"Because it wasn't made yet, genius. I don't think…"

Reimu's voice trailed off. The metal spider and the Hisoutensoku had noticed each other. And from the look of things, neither of them appreciated the other's presence.

The metal spider broke out into a lurching charge. As it neared, rockets shot forth to explode against the Hisoutensoku's armor. The giant humanoid staggered back. Then it recovered and swung out with a hand the size of a horse-cart, swatting the side of the spider's one-eyed head and knocking it to the side.

Oh, this wasn't going to be good. Even though she knew that it was a tremendously bad idea, Reimu grimaced and prepare to intervene. Maybe if she managed to get inside one of those things she could-

Sanae lunged forward to grab her from behind, pinning her arms to her sides. Reimu struggled and shouted, "The hell are you doing!"

"Keeping you away from them!" Sanae shouted. There was something weird about her eyes. They were bulging wide and shining with something not unlike madness.

"Why?" Reimu demanded.

"It's a giant robot fight, Reimu! A giant robot fight!"

"SO?"

"And I know you!" Sanae cried. Her voice was cracking from emotion. "You'll try to break it up!"

Reimu gaped at her, unable to believe what she was hearing. She shot a look at Marisa, eyes pleading for some kind of assistance.

Marisa quirked an eyebrow. She glanced over to where the two behemoths were battling. The metal spider had recovered from the blow and was now using its pincers to hold back the Hisoutensoku's hands. In response, the Hisoutensoku simply drew back its right leg and kicked the spider right in the thorax. The force of its foot didn't quite lift the spider off the ground, but it was enough to send it stumbling back.

The witch shrugged. "She's got a point, Armpits. Some things just don't happen every day." She looked at Sanae and smirked. "Five thousand yen on the spider."

"Ha! You're on! The Hisoutensoku's gonna smash that thing like the bug it is!"

Reimu couldn't believe what she was hearing. "What's wrong with you idiots?" she cried as she tried to squirm out of Sanae's grasp. The other shrine maiden held on with a strength born from madness and desperation. "Someone's gonna get hurt!"

"Yeah, probably," Marisa said with a shrug. "But unless you have some kind of super robot remote control to turn them off, I can't really see any way to stop them. You know what they say: robos gonna rumble."

Reimu jabbed her elbow into Sanae's gut, forcing the other girl to let her go. "Fine!" she shouted as she flew towards the valley. "Stay here and take bets! I'm going down there to keep this from getting any worse!"

…

Rikako winced as the cockpit shuddered. "Status report!" she cried to her sister.

"Ah, ah," Rika said as she frantically scanned the readouts. "So far things are holding up!" she said. "But I wouldn't trust to hold together much longer."

Rikako nodded grimly. Remember the devastation that usually accompanied any of Satsuki's rampages, they had designed the Strutter to take quite the beating. And from the look of things, the extra armor was paying off. But Rika was right. Trusting in it to survive any long term pounding from that Kappa machine was not the best course of action.

"Okay, let's see what we can do to disarm them," she said as she flipped a line of switches. "Activating cutter chain!"

…

Deep Within

A tremor rumbled through the world of nothingness, knocking Rumia off her feet. "Rin!" she shouted as she tried to push herself back up. "I swear, if I find out that you're cursed for real, I'm going to kick your head in!"

"Get in line!" Rin shouted back, though she sounded just as panicked as her unwilling companion. "But seriously, this is stupid! Where did those things even come from?"

Rumia gave up on trying to stand and power-crawled her way toward Rin. "Run now, read about it in the newspapers later!"

"Okay," Rin said. "Here we go-"

A sudden screeching noise permeated the world inside Rin's mind. The two youkai girls winced and slapped their palms over their ears.

"What's that?" Rumia shouted.

"WHAT?"

"I SAID, what's-"

The view on the screen swung up, revealing the answer to Rumia's question. A bladed chain had shot out of the giant spider and had wrapped itself around the wrist of its humanoid opponent. The two-legged robot immediately started yanked back, trying to pull the spider of its feet, but that was where having eight legs came in handy. The spider kept its balance.

And then the chain was rapidly retracted.

"Oh boy," Rumia said as sparks flew and smoke appeared. "This is gonna-"

The chain snapped back, and the captured hand fell loose. It tumbled to the valley floor, narrowly missing flattening Rin by mere feet.

"Rin!" Rumia screamed. "Get-"

"I know, I know! Escaping!"

…

"Wha!" Nitori cried as the cockpit filled with flashing red lights and loud klaxons. "How dey does dat?"

There was a crackle of static. "Nitori, the hell is going on up there?" Hunter's voice demanded. "You said you had things under control!"

"Yeah, yeah, workings in this!" Nitori frantically struggled to bring the weapons back on line, but the fact that the spider was renewing its rocket barrage made things difficult.

"Well, work faster, or you're…Oh, crap.

"Eh?"

"Nitori, look right behind the spider's butt. Satsuki's making a run for it."

"Wha!" Nitori's head reflexively snapped up, though the action was unnecessary. Hunter was right. A glowing humanoid bearing some massive energy readings was shooting to the sky, right behind the arachnid's abdomen.

"Oi!" the Kappa said angrily. She held up her left arm. "No you not!"

…

Though Reimu managed to reach the site of the battle without being hit by a stray rocket, she still had no idea how to stop the two behemoths from destroying each other and everything in a mile's radius. They were most likely armored against danmaku and spellcards. Perhaps her original plan of trying to find her way into the place where they controlled the robots, the…dickpit, or whatever it was called? Of course, it did mean leaping right into the center of the battle, but she had been in some pretty intense firefights before…

Then the spider sawed off the Hisoutensoku's right hand. Reimu filed that idea under "Stupidly Suicidal" and tried to find another way to approach the problem, one that didn't involve her turning into a greasy little smear.

That was when a very familiar looking figure shot out of the forest and flew into the air, just behind the spider. Reimu's eyes boggled when she recognized Satsuki.

"Hey!" she said as she moved to pursue. "Wait!"

Unfortunately, the Hisoutensoku had seen her too. It held up its remaining arm and fired a shining harpoon connected to a thin, steel cable.

Nitori's aim was perfect. Satsuki was speared right through the belly. But the spider, apparently taking the gesture as an attack against itself, lunged up and grabbed the offending arm in its pincers and yanked it down, sending the Hisoutensoku sprawling. Caught up by the sudden motion, Satsuki was whipped around and slammed against the spider's carapace.

"No!" Reimu cried. "You idiots are only making it-"

That was when something thick, wet, and sticky struck her right arm. She had just enough time to look down and see her entire forearm covered in a thick grey mass attached to a tether that led down to the forest before her left arm was likewise ensnared.

A second later, Reimu found herself yanked down toward the ground. She flew back against the pull as hard as she could and managed to slow her momentum some, but still landed hard enough to stun her.

When her senses cleared, Reimu came to the sickening realization that her body was now fully wrapped up in the stuff, save for her head. Furthermore, she was hanging above the ground, pinned to a massive spider's web.

She heard snickering. Looking up, she saw a tarantula youkai with a black derby and a hideous quivering smile crouching on the opposite end of a web. Before she could speak, a katana came out of nowhere to press against her throat.

"I don't think so, shrine maiden," Meira hissed into her ear. "The bounty's ours."

…

Deep Within

"She harpooned me!" Rin cried as she clutched at her stomach. "I got harpooned!"

Rumia, whose attention was focused on the fact that they were now tumbling over the metal spider's bloated abdomen, said, "How the hell is that any worse than anything else that's happened to you?"

"It's still not any fun, dork!" Rin shot back.

"Well, whatever! Just absorb it or cut it off so we can get out of here!"

Rin called her a word that Rumia hadn't been unaware that she even knew, but fortunately she saw Rin's physical hands come into view on the screen. They burst into white-hot flames and seized the cable that was tethering them to the giant robot.

After a few seconds of this, Rin said, "Er, Rumia? Bad news."

Rumia buried her face in her hands. "What?"

"I…think it's fireproof."

"Then use something else!"

"Like what? Mokou's fire is the strongest thing I have that-"

The spider reared up and yanked down hard on the massive arm it had been gripping. The humanoid robot lost its footing and tumbled to one side. Unfortunately, this meant taking Rin with it.

"-WHOA!" Rin yelled as her physical body was dragged across the spider's body and over the side, heading right toward the robot's open hand.

…

"At last," Meira purred as she held the Hakurei shrine maiden's head down against the blade of her katana. "At last, you lie helpless against my sword."

"Hey! Meira!" Tony shouted impatiently. "Either kill her or don't! But let's hurry up and go before our prey gets away!"

Meira's temper flared. "Shut up, webspinner! I've waited years for this! I'm not just going to let this opportunity slip away!"

Despite her predicament, Reimu Hakurei seemed to be more confused than anything. "Er, yeah. Hey, sorry, but have we met?"

Meira's jaw dropped. "W-what?" she stuttered. "What do you mean? I'm one of your oldest enemies!"

A moment passed, and then Reimu shook her head. "Nope, sorry. That doesn't narrow it down at all."

"From, from the beginning!" Meira shouted. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "When you first started your youkai extermination career!"

"Still nothing."

"How can you just forget me?" Meira demanded, aghast at what she was hearing. "I was there, fighting you before anyone else!"

Reimu rolled her eyes. "Okay, look. Rika Asakura's up in that ugly, creaking thing, and you're definitely not Mima or Sariel. So unless you were just some pest I crushed on my way to something important, I really don't know what to tell you."

Meira was struck speechless. Granted, the shrine maiden had been the victor during their first (and only) previous encounter, but Reimu had just been a little girl at the time. Surely being attacked by a fully trained samurai had left some sort of impression.

"Uh, I tried to defeat you and take your power?" she pressed, desperate to jog some sort of memory. "And you…you were riding on a flying turtle?"

Reimu rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that was pretty much my everyday life. Still is, only I mostly leave the turtle at home."

Despite his earlier insistence that Meira hurry, Tony seemed to be enjoying the spectacle. "Well, I really gotta say lass, you sure know how to leave an impression."

As for Meira, the frustration was pushing her dangerously close to tearing her hair out. "You…you thought I was coming on to you!" she very nearly screamed.

"Oh please," Reimu said in disgust. "Do you realize how many wannabe-seductress youkai I deal with each week? And seducers too, for that matter. It's like every single one thinks they can get at me by making defeating me sound like it's a form of rape or something."

"I'm not a youkai!" Meira screamed. She shoved down on Reimu's head, so that the skin of her neck touched the katana's blade.

"You're not?" Reimu said, completely heedless of how close she was to having her throat slit. "Well, no wonder I don't remember you! At least youkai make an effort to be at least halfway memorable."

Tony scratched his head. "Eh, you might wanna ease up a little there, girly. Meira ain't the scariest bloke around, but she is about five seconds away from cutting off your pretty little head."

"No, she isn't," Reimu said.

"What makes you so sure?" Meira demanded. "I could do it right now, and there's not a thing you can do to stop me!"

"Don't have to," Reimu said. "In fact, I really don't give a damn who you are or where I met you. I just wanted you focused on me so they could get close." Carefully moving her neck off the blade, Reimu tilted her head toward the sky.

Tony saw it first. "Oh, bloody hell," he said, the blood draining from his face.

Bewildered, Meira looked up to see two girls that she had never met in person but recognized instantly, thanks to their frequent appearances in the papers.

Sanae Kochiya, shrine maiden of Moriya Shrine, folded her arms and shook her head. "Well, isn't this pathetic," she muttered. She glanced to her companion. "So, which one do you want?"

The other, the notoriously destructive and unstable magician Marisa Kirisame, grinned in a manner that suggested imminent violence. "I'll take the spider. Reimu wants me to keep away from Humans, seeing how I almost killed the last group, ze." She tossed a wooden octagon into the air and caught it.

"Fair enough," Sanae said. She flicked the fingers of her right hand, revealing three spellcards.

Despite the sudden change in numbers, Meira did not flee. After all, she was twice the age of either of the girls, and thus far more experienced. And though they may have been unfairly blessed with inordinate amounts of power, she had training and discipline on her side. Perhaps she would walk away from this with more than Reimu Hakurei's power.

However, Tony did not share her optimistic views. "Fuck!" he shouted as he dived right off his web and scrambled into the underbrush.

"Hey!" Meira shouted after him, surprised that she had been abandoned. "Where are you going? We can take them!"

"Oh, you can, huh?" said Marisa Kirisame. She pointed that wooden octagon at Meira. White light started to glow at its center. "Alrighty then, let's see you prove it."

…

"Fall!" Rika screeched as she pounded at the weapons controls. "Why don't you fall, you stupid son of-"

"Hold it together!" Rikako snapped back. Her hands were wrapped around the levers that controlled the Strutter's arms as she tried to shoved the Kappa robot off its balance. "We've got it on the ropes! So don't lose your head now."

"Right, right," Rika seethed. Out of all the lousy luck. One would think, given how unadvanced most of Gensokyo's technology was, that by using a giant robot as their weapon of choice meant that they were going to go into battle unchallenged. But apparently great minds think alike, or someone had ratted their project out to the Kappa, which had spurred the slimy reptiles into making one of their own. Rika favored the latter theory.

At any rate, the fight was going well. While the other robot's humanoid shape gave it greater maneuverability and physical strength, the fact that the Strutter possessed multiple legs gave it better footing on the uneven terrain. And, at the moment, both leverage and gravity was working in their favor. Rika watched in maniacal delight as the Kappa robot pounded ineffectively on their armored carapace with its damaged arm as Rikako slowly pulled it off its feet.

"Come on, just a little further," Rikako muttered and she held onto the bucking controls. "Just a little-"

And then Rika noticed something tethered to the humanoid robot's remaining hand. "HOLY SHIT, THEY'VE GOT RIN SATSUKI!" Rika suddenly screeched.

Rikako's head whipped up. "What?"

"THERE!" Rika pointed. "RIGHT THERE!"

Rikako saw it then. A struggling person was attached to the other robot's wrist by a steel cable, one that it was busy trying to absorb. "Oh, no you don't!" Rikako shouted as she yanked at the controls. One of the Strutter's arms released its hold on the other arm to seize the cable. The pincer clamped down, severed the cable in half.

Unfortunately, the sudden loss of resistance allowed the humanoid robot to twist its arm fully out of the Strutter's grasp. It regained its footing and swung its arms away, taking Rin Satsuki with them.

"No!" Rikako cried. She readied the cutter chain for another shot, but before she could fire it off, the other robot squeezed its metal fingers into a fist, drew its hand back, and slammed it forward, catching the Strutter's cockpit in a massive uppercut that lifted it fully off the ground and nearly sent it falling backwards.

…

"Yesh!" Nitori cheered. "Be taking dat, you, you inferious steampunk piece of junk!" Into the mic, she added, "Hunter! Yous be seeing dis?"

"Yes, most impressive," Hunter said dryly. "Unfortunately, you do seem to have lost our quarry."

"Eh?"

"Check your remaining hand, please."

Nitori blinked and ran a quick diagnostic. The results were less than encouraging. "Hey!" she sputtered. "Satsuki gone what place?"

"She seems to have dropped off, probably sometime between that uppercut and when the spider cut the cable. I'm looking for her now, but in the meantime I'd advise that you be careful. It seems that the lesser competition is trying to sneak in."

The spider was trying to regain what passed for its senses. To its credit, the head had managed to stay on, though the blow had done damage, if the way its legs kept scratching at the ground, carving deep gouges into the ground, was any indication. Nitori kneed it in the chin and said, "Who be here?"

"Mmmm, I count two shrine maidens, one witch, and a handful of nobodies."

"Waiting now," Nitori said, feeling panic rise. "Does you means-"

"Yes, those shrine maidens and that witch, I'm afraid. Fortunately, they're currently occupied with some of the riffraff. I'm keeping an eye on them. Meanwhile, I'd suggest you finish off the spider quickly. We can't afford any more distractions."

"Yeah, yeah, I gotten dis," Nitori muttered. She turned her attention to the twitching and sparking spider. "Ah-hey den, hows you handling dis?"

…

Deep Within

Rin hunched forward, hands balled into fists and knuckles pressed against the sides of her head. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her teeth were bared in a grimace of exertion. She had managed to absorb the harpoon, but the cable was still attached.

Rumia, of course, found this tactic to be extremely stupid. "Rin, the harpoon's gone! Just push the rope out!"

"Trying," she muttered. "But it's sinking into my back, so yanking it out kinda hurts, you know?"

Rumia shot a nervous glance at the screen. While she was growing used to the constant terror, being tether to the arm of one metal giant while it battle another metal giant did not speak well of their chances of survival. "Well, bite the bullet and deal with it!" she said. "Because I bet getting crushed by those two will hurt a whole lot more!"

And then, to both of their great surprise, the problem was solved for them. The spider suddenly reaching toward them with one of its massive pincers. Rin and Rumia cried out and cowered, convinced that they were about to become stuck in the middle of a very painful game of tug-of-war.

But instead of seizing up Rin's physical body, the pincer instead went after the cable holding her in place, snipping it in two. The two youkai girls blinked and glanced at each other in surprise.

"Uh, okay," Rumia said. "Thanks, you huge, scary-"

The hand they were standing on swung back, dislodging its passenger. The girls screamed as Rin fell through open air. She slammed against the spider's shoulder and slid down its front, her talons digging gouges in the metal until she came to a stop.

"No!" Rumia shouted. "Bad place to stop, bad place to-"

And then a giant hand slammed into the robot and sending it staggering back, dislodging Rin yet again. She spun through the air between the combatting giants to slam headfirst into the ground between the humanoid behemoth's feet.

"Ugh," Rin muttered as she tried to shake off the stun of the impact. "Wha-"

And then the ground shook as the humanoid robot slammed its knee into the spider's chin. Metal crunched as both foot and arachnid came crashing down to the ground. Rin darted from side-to-side to avoid being crushed.

"What's wrong with these people?" she screamed as metal slammed into the earth from all around. "No way this can all just be because of me!"

"It's not!" Rumia said. Despite herself, she was starting to giggle from the sheer ridiculousness of it all. "This country is just full of stupid people with way too much power!"

As if to demonstrate that exact point, the spider disappeared.

Rin stopped scurrying around. She looked up.

The humanoid robot had somehow managed to wrap both of its arms around the thin part of the spider's abdomen and lifted it fully into the air. It straightened and held its captive aloft, rear end facing the sky and giant eye staring at the ground. Even if it was nothing more than a large machine, Rin could swear that she saw a look of fear in that eye.

"Oh my gods," Rumia whispered, her face going pale. "It's not gonna do what I think it's-"

It did. Joints screaming from the strain, the humanoid fell to its knees, piledriving the spider's face into the ground. Metal crunched, sparks flew, and electricity crackled along the spider's body.

Before it hit, Rin threw herself to one side, putting herself out of the way of the humanoid's knees. Then she had to skid to a stop and change direction to avoid running into the spider's head.

"Gotta get outta here, gotta get outta here," Rin muttered over and over as heavy metal rained down all around her. The shockwaves generated from the impacts threatened to bowl her over, and it seemed that everywhere she turned, another robot piece was slamming into the ground and missing her by mere meters.

At least this time Rumia wasn't screaming in her ear. In fact, the other youkai was being uncharacteristically quiet, which was a good thing. Right now, Rin needed all the concentration she could get.

Unfortunately, she was running out of time and room. The way the robots had fallen was forming an accidental cage around her, and given how ineffectual her fire had been against them, she didn't have high hopes of blowing her way out. Of course, she could always just dig her way out, but given how her previous subterranean experiences had gone, it wasn't a path she was eager to take.

However, from the look of things she might not have a choice. Rin's already grim face hardened further as she readied for what promised to be another disastrous escape route.

And then Rumia did something that took her by surprise: she said something useful.

"Legs."

Rin turned to her. "Legs?"

"Legs," Rumia repeated. Her eyes were nearly popping out of their sockets as she remained focused on the screen. "Robot legs."

And then Rin got it. There was one gap remaining, between the kneeling legs of the humanoid robot. It wasn't much. The impact had disturbed the ground, pushing it up to fill most of the space. But that wasn't much of an obstacle. Cutting through dirt was familiar territory.

There was a glimmer of sunlight between the top of the mound and the robot's pelvis. Rin focused on that glimmer. She centered all of her attention on that tiny gleam and shot forward. The destructive energies she had gained from Rumia's darker self surrounded her, and she tore through the dirt to shoot into the open air behind the robot.

"Aw yeah!" Rumia cheered. "Now, don't stop until-"

A sudden tearing pain cut through Rin's middle. She cried out and doubled over as her physical body fell forward to skid through the grassy dirt.

Somehow, the humanoid robot had noticed what she was doing and had pointed its remaining hand over its shoulder to hit her with a second harpoon. With a screeching whir, the steel cord started retracting, dragging her back to where the robots were still embracing.

"Oh crap," Rumia breathed. She shot a fearful glance at Rin. "Uh, Rin? Are you…"

Still shaking, Rin looked up at Rumia with pain-filled eyes. "I hate these people," she sobbed. "I really, really hate these people."

…

"Nice shot," Hunter said.

"Thankees," Nitori muttered. Truth be told, she was now more concerned with the obscenities her readings were now screaming at her.

As impressive as it had been, it seemed that picking that spider up and piledriving it back down had not been a good idea. The strain had nearly ruined the Hisoutensoku's knees, and its elbows weren't in the best shape either.

Fortunately, the spider had at least been taken out of the game. It lay unmoving in front of the Hisoutensoku. If worst came to worst, Nitori could always just salvage it for parts.

"You cans handlers der Satsuki?" Nitori said. "I is not moving anyplaces."

"No? Figures. All right, just hold her still as best you can. And hey, those sensors of yours still working?"

"Oi."

"Great. Let me know if anything interesting shows up."

…

Reimu stood still as Marisa use a wide-band but low-energy wave from her hakkero to disintegrate the web. "Just for the record," she said, trying not to fidget, "you two were still planning on helping me before those two morons showed up, right?"

"Eh," Marisa shrugged. "We figured you could handle yourself against a couple robots. But I guess a bug in a bowler and a wannabe samurai were too much for you."

"Hey, they caught me by surprise. And I still could've taken them."

"You're welcome. Now, hold still." Marisa half-closed one eye and stuck her tongue out of the side of her mouth as she concentrated on freeing the remainder of Reimu's back. "What did you do to that lady anyway?"

"Got me. I deal with troublemakers like her all the time." Enough of the web had been cleared away for Reimu to pull herself free. She stood up and picked more of the sticky strands out of her hair. "I guess she just took it personally."

Sanae said, "You should've invited her to tea afterward. That usually does the trick."

Marisa snorted. "Yeah, like we need any more members of that club. But now that Reimu's untangled, there's something we kinda need to address, ze."

She pointed toward the two, some meters away. The Hisoutensoku still knelt with its handless arm wrapped around the spider's middle, and the spider still lay facedown in its embrace. The Hisoutensoku still moved, however feebly, indicating that the Kappa inside had survived, but the aside from the odd twitch of the legs, the spider was motionless.

Reimu grimaced. She wasn't sure what the exact odds of the Asakura sisters having survived that, but they couldn't be good. She imagined forcing the cockpit open, only to find two mangled bodies lying broken among the sparking wires and twisted metal.

"Well, one thing's for certain," Sanae said as she stared at the mechanical carnage. "You owe me five thousand yen."

Marisa flicked a handful of stardust at her. "Get serious. I've seen those enough of those…what'cha call 'em again? Those illusions with stories on that clunky screen?"

"What, anime?" Sanae said, sounding slightly offended. "And what do you mean, 'clunky'? That's a seventy-two inch plasma-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Seen better from the Kappa. But anyway, you've shown me enough so that I know that when two big-ass robots throw down, it ain't over until one explodes, ze."

Unable to counter such logic, Sanae's face fell. "Okay, so maybe you have a point there, but it's really inevitable at this point. There's no way it's getting up from-"

The subject of their conversation finally cut through Reimu's dumbstruck mind. "What's wrong with you two?" she nearly screamed at them. "The Asakuras might be dead, and all you two care about is who won your stupid bet? I mean, come on! I'd expect this from wild youkai, but…"

Sanae winced at that and mumbled something that might have been an apology. Marisa, however, simply shrugged and said, "Hey, some of my best friends are wild youkai. Besides, I didn't make them get inside several tons of metal and go all apeshit on the Hisoutensoku."

Reimu shot her a disgusted look. She turned away to head toward the scene of devastation.

With an exasperated sigh, Marisa said, "All right, all right, let's go check to see if the idiots survived. Don't expect me to be overflowing with sympathy though."

"Oh, give me a break," Sanae said. "You know if someone asked you to drive that thing and fight another giant robot, you'd do it."

"In a godsdamn second," Marisa agreed amiably. She mounted her broom and took off after Reimu, who was trying very hard to ignore her companions. "I'm just pissed that they got flattened so freaking quickly, ze."

Sanae fell into place beside her. She looked around. "Hey, speaking of which, what happened to that ugly spider with the hat and the stupid woman with the sword?"

"Them?" Marisa shrugged. "Don't know, don't care. If they have any brains at all, they'd have already gotten their asses out of this valley and as far away as possible."

…

Her clothes torn and singed and tears streaming from her eyes, Meira half-ran, half-limped toward a copse of evergreen trees, the closest thing to cover she could see. She kept trying to summon up the energy to take to the air, but her injured leg was dragging her down.

It wasn't fair. She could have beaten them, had Tony not deserted her. And she needed to win today. She deserved to win. The eyes of her ancestors were upon her, demanding victory. Without victory, there would be no redemption.

Reaching the copse, she collapsed against one of the trees and slumped to the ground. Sobs of humiliation threatened to rise up, but she refused to release them. No, she wouldn't be beaten. She was a samurai, not a loser. Samurai were not losers.

"Well, that went about as well as I expected."

Meira glowered through tear-blurred vision at Tony, who was standing perched halfway up a nearby, his feet pressed flat against the trunk to hold him up and his arms folded over his striped shirt. His quivering teeth were bared in a horrid grin.

"That's because you abandoned me!" she shouted up at him. "We could've won if you hadn't been such a coward!"

This accusation was met with a bark of harsh laughter. "You serious, doll? Gimme a fuckin' break." Tony stepped into the air and dropped to the ground. "Did you see who we was up against? I got my ass exterminated by the one with green hair once a few months back, and it weren't like she took me by surprise, neither. And from what I been told, she's prob' the weakest of the bunch! Face it, running like hell were the only thing to do."

"But you don't know that!"

Tony rolled his bulbous eyes. "You keep doing this. Going after things way too big for you, trying to prove something, and the next thing you know your ass is all kinds of kicked and you're running away crying. Over and over and over…"

"It's not done!" Meira shouted back. "We're not done yet!" She pointed the tip of her katana toward the center of the valley. "Satsuki's still out there! We can snatch her while everyone's distracted with fighting each other!"

Tony let out a derisive snort. "Which be exactly what I said five minutes ago! Fine, let's go-"

At first Meira thought that her partner had stopped talking, perhaps because he had seen something approaching. She glanced around but saw nothing. Then she saw that Tony's mouth was still moving, but no sound came out. He noticed, and grabbed at his throat with his bushy eyebrows twisting in bewilderment.

She tried to ask him what was wrong, but the words would not come out. In fact, all sound had ceased entirely.

Meira and Tony gabbered at each other soundlessly, each impotently trying to make sense of the situation. Tony clapped his hands and Meira pounded the hilt of her sword against a tree, but again no noise was produced.

This made no sense. Was this the witch's doing? Or Satsuki's? Or maybe even the robots'? Had they been deafened by some new attack? Or…

Something small flew through the air to land between them. They looked down. It was a string of dull red firecrackers, the fuse lit and burning. Then they looked up at each other. Though Meira could not hear the words formed by Tony's mouth, she could read their shape perfectly well.

What the fu-

And then the world was filled with noiseless explosions.

…

Sunny Milk pumped her hand into the air and cheered, not caring that the actual cheers couldn't be heard. Their sneak attack had worked perfectly, and now their enemies were already falling.

Lunar Child was kneeling next to her, setting up the fireworks. Sunny pushed her rump with her foot and pointed. Lunar nodded and lit another match.

…

"Hey, waitaminute," Marisa said. She seized the tip of her broom with both hands and brought it to an abrupt stop. From there, she turned her head this way and that, a puzzled expression on her face.

Reimu and Sanae turned to look at her. "What's up?" Reimu asked.

"I dunno, I just feel something," the young witch said. "Some kinda disturbance. Like, there's an explosion nearby, and I'm not involved."

Sanae scratched her head. "You…can sense…explosions?"

"You're surprised?" Reimu said. "Seriously, she knew about that geyser Utsuho Reiuji caused before Yukari did." To Marisa, she said, "Look, we can investigate that one later. For now, we have bigger things to worry about."

Marisa nodded reluctantly. "All right, sure. So, what first?"

Scratching her cheek, Reimu looked at the two conjoined mechanical combatants. "Well, the first thing would be to see if Nitori and the Asakuras are okay. After that, we get out of there. Then we smack them upside the head for being such a-"

Sanae suddenly seized her bicep with such force that Reimu let out a yelp of pain. "Hey!" she cried, yanking her arm away. "Stoppit!"

"Reimu," she said, her breath coming out in panicked gasps. "Look!"

Reimu looked. The Hisoutensoku had one arm raised, its fist pointing over its armored shoulder. From the wrist extended a long, steel cable. And attached to the cable was…

"Rin," Reimu said, her eyes widening. The mutated Kirin hadn't changed since last they met, which meant that she hadn't eaten anyone new. That was good news. But her current predicament was all kinds of bad. The cable was sticking right into her back and was reeling her in like a hooked fish. Rin was fighting back, seizing trees, roots, large boulders, anything she could hang onto. The fact that she was making it a fight at all was impressive. Obviously she was in possession of great physical strength, and Reimu was willing to bet it wasn't from Kaguya or Mokou.

"Shit, that's her?" Marisa said, shoving her hat back so she could scratch the top of her head. "Wow, I almost feel sorry for her."

Swallowing, Reimu said, "Okay, this can't be good. Uh, you two! You go check on the idiots in the robots and try to get them out. And for the gods' sakes, don't go fixing things so you'll win your stupid bet!"

"Yeah, I got it," Marisa grumbled. "And you'll be helping the freak, I take it?"

"Uh, Reimu?" Sanae said. "How…exactly are you…"

"I'll figure it out!" Reimu snapped. She swung a commanding finger toward the robots. "Now go!"

Marisa glanced at the green-haired shrine maiden next to her and shrugged. "We'd better do what she says. She's getting that look on her face, ze." With that, she swooped down toward the crushed face of the spider, while Sanae headed up toward the Hisoutensoku's cockpit.

"And make them stop reeling Rin in!" Reimu shouted after her. Then she turned her attention back to the struggling Satsuki. With a deep breath, she readied herself for another unpleasant confrontation.

And then movement caught her eye. Someone else was walking toward Satsuki, someone wearing an all-concealing black robe. The stranger was hunched over and carrying some kind of large rifle with both hands. Reimu had never really cared much for guns even at the best of times, and in this situation she liked them even less.

And then, to her horror, the robed figured stopped walking, took aim, and fired a red burst of energy at Satsuki's head.

…

…dark…

…dark…and warm…

…but painful…everything hurts…

…something sticky…and warm…

…blood?

…where…did that…

Rika Asakura opened her eyes. Or at least she thought she did. Everything remained just as dark as before.

And then sparks burst less than a meter from her face, illuminating the rat's nest of loose wires and twisted metal around her.

Shocked back to full consciousness, Rika sat up with a gasp, though the sharp pains lancing through her skull made her regret it. Though it didn't seem like anything was broken, she still ached all over. There was a sizeable bump on her head, and her forehead bled from a gash. Considering what had just happened, she considered herself to be extremely lucky.

However, the Strutter wasn't so fortunate. The cockpit was an absolute wreck. Though the only light was from the sparks and a few brave illuminated buttons that glowed steadily on, it was enough to confirm that the piledriver had taken it out of the game. The fact that the emergency lights had failed to turn on like they were supposed to spoke volumes of the damage that had been taken. Furthermore, judging by which was gravity was pulling, the whole was now facedown.

"Rikako?" Rika coughed. She smelled and tasted smoke. That was a very bad sign. She groped around for the emergency lights' manual control. "You all right over there?"

She found the switch and flicked it. To her relief, they powered on, illuminating the cockpit with a soft orange. The damage was just as bad as she had expected, though her attention was focused on Rikako.

Rikako was slumped forward in her seat, held up by her harness. Her purple hair hung around her face, and her jumpsuit was torn and bloodied. Her glasses had fallen from her face and wear now lying against the shattered windshield. She didn't look good, though Rika didn't think she was dead.

"Rikako?" Rika said again. She shook her by the shoulder. "Hey, c'mon dumbass. Wake up."

Three heart-stopping seconds passed, and then Rikako groaned. "Oh gods," she muttered as covered her face with her hand. "What…"

Rika sighed with relief. It seemed that she had not used up all the luck. "Oh, thank the gods. You're okay."

"That's debatable," Rikako said. She leaned back the best she could and squinted at Rika. "What…just happened?"

"You don't remember?" Rika said. "That big Kappa 'bot picked us up and piledrived the whole bloody thing."

Rikako's face lost what color remained. "But…the Strutter!" She looked around at the ruined cockpit. "It's not…dead, is it?" She sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

"I don't know, I just woke up," Rika groused. Truth be told, she was trying her best not to think of the Strutter's very likely demise, because having to face that possibility would likely initiate a full emotional breakdown. She looked at the cracked readouts. A few still worked, though the information they were displaying was not encouraging. "Hopefully, the Sigma took the worst of it, and the body's still-"

A loud banging cut off their conversation. Someone was slamming their fists against the emergency exit, at the cockpit's back.

"Hola, mad scientist girls!" said a loud and obnoxious voice. "You guys alive in there? You better answer soon, because otherwise, I'm claiming this baby for my own, ze!"

…

It didn't take long for Sanae discover the round porthole at the base of the Hisoutensoku's neck. Once there, she started hitting it with both her fists.

"Nitori!" she shouted in the Kappa language. "Nitori Kawashiro! I know you can hear me, and if you don't open up right this-"

The porthole irised open, and Sanae wasted no time jumping right in.

The cockpit surprised her by its simplicity and its elegance, both of them qualities not commonly found among the Kappa. The floors and the walls were all plain steel, lit as they were by a pulsing red light. Nitori hung in the center of the room, wires of numerous sizes attaching the grey jumpsuit and heavy helmet she wore to the ceiling and the floor and holding her up.

Nitori glanced at her, managing to look sheepish even through the helmet. "Er, hi?" she said in the same tongue. "Be in troubles dis am I?"

Ignoring the question, Sanae rushed up to her and started pelting her with questions in the Kappa's native tongue. "How'd you do it? The Hisoutensoku, I mean. Where'd you get the materials? Or the funding? And did you really perfect motion imitation technology? Oh my gods, that is so cool!"

Nitori was taken back by both the sudden praise and hearing her own language from a Human, but she recognized Sanae a moment later. "My thanks, lady Sanae of the esteemed House of Kochiya, shrine maiden and mouthpiece of our lady Kanako, may her miracles be praised!" Nitori said, sounding flattered. "Truly, thine presence is an expected honor to this humble Kappa, and thine words of appreciation for this small triumph pleases me far more than-"

"Oh, wait, wait, wait!" Sanae said, slapping her forehead. "Right. Reimu Hakurei said to stop reeling in Rin Satsuki right now."

"What?" Nitori gaped. "But my actions are well within the bounds of legality, as stated by none other than Yukari of the House of Yakumo! For sooth, the criminal impaled upon my spear is a cursed fugitive, and must be-"

"I know, I know!" Sanae said quickly. "But there's more to this than you know. Seriously, just turn that thing off."

…

"NO!" Reimu cried. She thrust her hands out in front of her. There was a burst of red light, and the Hakurei Ying-Yang Orb materialized in the air in front of her. It spun around and around on its axis, the black-and-white blurring into each other. Then it broke into two smaller orbs, dividing like cell. These two split further into four, which then started chasing each other around Reimu's waist.

Now properly armed, Reimu swooped down at the hooded figure, who was still coldly blasting at Rin, each shot a different color from the last.

"Hey!" Reimu called. The hooded figure looked up, and Reimu got a brief look of a freckle-covered face and a pair of startled maroon eyes. Then a hail of ofuda-shaped bullets rained out of the orbs, pelting the hooded figure.

Reimu's target stumbled back, bowed by the onslaught of danmaku. "Get out of here!" Reimu shouted as she kept up the attack.

To her surprise, the hooded figure obeyed. She dropped her gun and shot away, fleeing Reimu's wrath.

Reimu stopped firing and returned her attention to Rin. From the look of things, Sanae had managed to get Nitori to stop dragging the Kirin around, though she was still attached to that cable. She tried to swoop down to Rin, but then two strong arms appeared out of nowhere to wrap around her waist.

"Sorry hon," said a low, smoky voice that sounded vaguely familiar. "Can't have you doing that."

Before Reimu could form a question, the arms threw her back in a sudden suplex, and she was sent spinning away.

Reimu's disorientation lasted but a moment. After all, she had been taken by surprise before. She brought herself to a sudden stop and hurled herself back the way she came, ready beat an inordinate amount of sense to whoever had thrown her.

Unfortunately, they had made a hasty exit. However, the hooded figure was returning, her gun back in her hands. As soon as she was within range she snapped the rifle at Reimu and started firing.

Reimu shot off, circling around the hooded figure in a wide arc as the shots exploded mere inches behind her. She could feel the heat on the bottoms of her feet. Scowling, the shrine maiden returned fire, sending off a cluster of homing charms.

The charms zeroed in and slammed into the side of the rifle, knocking it from its owner's hands. Reimu came to a stop and pulled out an Exorcising Border spellcard, ready to remove this latest pest from the equation.

And then the strong hands reappeared, this time to grab her by the wrists and force her arms to stretch out to either side.

"Kiddo, I'm not gonna repeat myself," said the earthy voice. "You gonna want to clear out and stay out of this, you hear? This has nothing to do-"

A shrill scream cut her off. The hooded woman had been set alight and was burning like a torch. She screamed and yanked at her flaming robe, desperate to pull it off.

The source of the fire was Rin herself, who was firing off a torrent of flame from one hand like water from a hose. The hooded figure fell to her knees and continued screaming.

Then there was a loud pop, and the hooded figure simply vanished. Smoke rose up from where she used to be and the fire that had covered fell to scorch the grass, but she was nowhere to be seen.

Reimu gaped. She had seen youkai and fairies disappear upon being exterminated many times, but it had never looked like that before.

Rin, however, was not so dumbstruck. Instead of staring at the results, she merely turned her head and focused her burning lavender eyes on Reimu. Or rather, on the person currently holding Reimu by the wrists.

"Aw, snap," the person muttered. And suddenly, their grip disappeared. Reimu whirled only to find absolutely no one behind her. By this point, she was hardly surprised at all.

Now that her two mystery combatants had vanished, Reimu was finally able to make it to Rin, though she did so slowly so as not to come off as threatening. Rin watched her the whole way.

"Rin," Reimu said as she approached. "Are, ah, are you…okay?" She winced. That was probably the lamest opening line possible, but it was the only thing she could think of.

Rin tilted her head to one side. She looked down at the thick cable connecting her to the Hisoutensoku and then back at Reimu. "I've been harpooned twice in the last five minutes," she said at last. "After that, some strange lady I've never met before started shooting me in the head. About an hour ago I was chased all over Gensokyo by everyone and their grandmothers, and somehow wound up in a pit full of acid sneezing slugs. And yesterday, I got beat up by a bunch of oni. Oh yeah, and there's a giant metal rope stuck to me." There was a weighty pause, and then Rin said, "So I'm doing just dandy, thank you. How's your day been?"

Reimu cleared her throat. "Er, right. Look, I know you have no reason to listen to me, but I really am on your side. So…"

With a weary sigh, Rin flopped onto the ground and said, "Look, Reimu Hakurei. I'm having a really crappy day. Are you really going to try to convince that you want to help me again?"

"Well, I do!"

"Really? That's just great. Hey, here's an idea: how about you start by GETTING THIS CABLE OUT OF ME!"

That was actually a reasonable request. Reimu rushed the rest of the way to where Rin lay. It was not a pretty sight. The cable was literally sinking into Rin's back like a skewer.

"Uh," Reimu said, not wanting to touch her. "Can you…push it out?"

Rin sighed. "You know, Rumia asked me that same question when the first one hit. And this might not have occurred to you, shrine maiden, but I am perfectly capable of feeling pain. And the tip of this thing has already been absorbed, so yanking it out will be pretty similar to pulling out a handful of your hair by the roots. So, yes, I can probably can push it out, but I'm not really a fan of blinding agony."

"Then what do you want me to do?"

"Find a way to cut the cable, so I can absorb it without dragging me closer to that…thing."

Reimu glanced at the Hisoutensoku. "Uh, my powers really don't do well against metal. That's really more of Marisa's thing."

The sound Rin made then was not quite a sigh and not quite a whimper, but occupied the ground between the two. "Then…there's no helping it," she whispered. "Okay. Listen, if you really want to help, grab that cable, and when I tell you to, pull on it as hard as you can."

"Uh, how do I know you're not going to take off as soon as you're free?"

Rin's talons impatiently drummed the ground. "Let me put it this way. This thing is coming out in the next thirty seconds with or without your help. Whether or not I feel like listening to you at the end of those thirty seconds is entirely up to you."

…

There was a sharp ledge to the north-western side of the Youkai Mountain that sheered away into a cliff. From there, it was a straight drop all the way to the ground below. From there, one could survey miles of Gensoyko's landscape, even as far as the Forest of Magic. It was a magnificent view, and made a popular place for tourists and young couples.

Most days, it saw a fair amount of traffic. Today, it was downright crowded, with numerous Tengu and a smattering of other races pushing against each other's shoulders or hovering in the air as they watched the proceeding in the valley below. Everyone chattered at each other as they voiced their opinions on what was going on and gave their predictions on the eventual outcome. Having been forced out of the valley, the Hanataka hovered in front of the crowd to make sure no one ventured beyond the ledge's border, doing their best to look important and trying not to call attention to the fact that they had recently been scared shitless.

By the time the Hisoutensoku had piledrived the Strutter, the crowd was so thick that all spots along the cliff's edge were taken. One would think that it would be impossible for a newcomer to make their way to the front.

Still, when one showed up, people quickly made room, shoving against each other and allowing the newcomers to pass.

Kanako Yasaka stormed her way to the cliff's ledge, her fingers bunched into fists, her face grim. She paid no attention to the open stares of unease and devotion that surrounded her. Once she was at the ledge, Kanako peered out. Her grim face became even grimmer when she saw what was below. She supposed she shouldn't be surprised, given where they were, but still…

She was going to kill Nitori Kawashiro. Hopefully the owners of that spider…thing was a Kappa, so she could kill them too.

"Quite the spectacle, isn't it?" said a soft, amused voice. Kanako looked down to see Mima sitting perched on a small ledge a few meters down. The spirit held a pair of opera glasses to her eyes, and was munching on a honeycake.

"Is that was this is to you?" Kanako demanded. "Just some early morning entertainment?"

"But of course," Mima said, taking no offense to the anger in the elder goddess' voice. "What else would it be?" She glanced at the rabble huddled above her. "And it doesn't seem that I'm the only one who thinks so."

Kanako seethed. She turned to face the whispering crowd.

"All right, all of you clear out!" she shouted. "Does this look like a danmaku tournament to you? Go home, and stay there!"

There were certain advantages to being a revered deity. One of them was instantaneous obedience. No sooner were the words spoken than the crowd made a very hasty exit.

Kanako turned back around, muttering to herself. Then, to her displeasure, she noticed that the Hanataka were trying to clear the area as well.

"No!" she said. "I didn't mean you!" She turned to their leader, Momiji Inubashiri, who was trying very hard not to meet her goddess' eyes. "Get back down there and make sure no one else enters the valley!"

Once the Hanataka had made their meek exit, Mima said, "Well. My compliments. It's been my experience that angry gods often receive at least double the faith of their more benevolent counterparts."

"Is that the only reason you're here?" Kanako demanded. "To watch people get hurt and try to get under my skin?"

Mima sniffed. "Not at all," she said. She finished the last of her cake and licked the honey from her fingers. "Though in your case I'd hardly need to 'try.' No, I'm here to keep an eye on things and ensure they don't spiral completely out of hand. I don't often do duty as a guardian angel, but your kind knows that our girls could use one."

"Our girls?" Kanako said, her face draining of blood. "You mean…"

Mima snapped her fingers and muttered a brief word. A head-sized bubble sparked into existence in the air in front of Kanako. In it, she could see Sanae flying forward, in the company of Reimu Hakurei and Marisa Kirisame.

Her temper exploded. "Why that disobedient little brat!" she roared. "I told her to stay away!"

"Well, girls will be girls," Mima said with a shrug. "Don't judge her too harshly." She lifted the opera glasses back to her face. "After all, upon being confronted with a spectacular showdown between two mechanical engines of destruction, anyone of her upbringing would want a closer look. Or anyone else, for that matter."

"That's not the point! She could be killed!"

Mima laughed. "So? My dear goddess, if that is what you're so worried about, I'd advise you find her another line of work, posthaste. Such as housewife. Or seamstress. Or would those sharp needles be too dangerous?"

"There's a difference between youkai exterminating and jumping headfirst into…" Words failed her for a moment. "That!" she said at last, pointing.

"And that is why, despite having two gods and all the faith and moolah you have been gathering as of late, you will always play second fiddle to Hakurei Shrine. Because though it may be a barely maintained backwater wreck with no real deity to speak of, at least its shrine maiden has absolutely no problem with putting herself in danger day in and day out." Mima shrugged and lifted the glasses back to her eyes. "Honestly, if you ever hope to compete, you really have to learn that risk is part of the business, and that…Oh, hello."

"What?" Kanako demanded, though she wondered if she truly wanted to know the answer. "What is it?"

In response, the view on the floating bubble shifted. Kanako's heart stopped when she recognized two figures walking toward the robots.

"How very strange," Mima murmured, more to herself than Kanako. "Because if my highly reliable sources are correct, she is in no condition to be walking around." Her eyes narrowed. "I don't know about you, but I smell a rat."

…

Rin gasped as the cable came free. Her eyes squeezed shut as she pressed the back of her right hand against the hole in her back, which was already starting to close.

When she had finished healing, Rin straightened, brushed herself off, and said, "Well, that hurt about as much as expected." She looked up at Reimu. "Thanks, I guess."

Reimu nodded and dropped the end of the cable. "Are you ready to listen now?"

Rin rubbed her chin. "Maybe. Did Reisen really ask you to help me?"

"Yes, she did," Reimu said, her voice tinged with irritation. "Hell, she's even staying at my shrine now!"

Rin stiffened. "What?"

…

Deep Within

There is a moment familiar to predators and hunter, that singular moment that occurs right when the unsuspecting prey finally wises up to the fact that there is someone intending to kill them nearby and realizes that its life is now measured in seconds. In this moment, the body may freeze, and the brain will lose its capacity for any thought other than "I am about to die." People from the Outside World commonly refer it as being like "A Deer in the Headlights." And while the analogy does not make any sense the majority of Gensokyo's natives, they are very familiar with the moment in question. After all, Rumia had experienced it several times in the last couple of days.

When the mushroom youkai had wandered into the cavern Rin had been hiding in, she had been convinced that they were mere minutes away from being caught. When they had burst through the ceiling of the Ancient City and landed in the middle of a crowd of oni and the types that like to hang about with oni, she had been convinced that, adaptability or no adaptability, regeneration or no regeneration, Rin was about to be turned into a gooey little smear, taking Rumia with her in the process. And things had gone downhill from there.

And now, as she sat with her face in her hands as Rin again conversed with Reimu Hakurei, Rumia had no idea how she was supposed to feel. Her instinct was telling her to scream at Rin for stopping to listen to something that had to be a trick when she should be making tracks for places elsewhere, but she had done that so many times that she was just plain sick of it. It didn't matter where they ran, someone always found them, and the chaos would begin anew. She was tired of the cycle. In fact, she was tempted to encourage Rin to take Hakurei up on her offer. Best case scenario (something that Rumia wasn't nearly so optimistic to expect), Reimu was telling the truth, and the two youkai fugitives would find themselves with some much-needed protection. Worst case, the shrine maiden was lying, and Rin and Rumia would find themselves in Yukari Yakumo's hands. That was not something Rumia wanted by a longshot, but at least it did mean an end to this madness.

"I'm serious!" Reimu said, her voice as strangely distorted as ever. Rumia wondered if Rin at least could hear things normally. "She got into a fight with Eirin because of you, and ran away! She's staying with me now!"

"But…" Rin said, and then let her voice trail off.

"Rin, look, I know you don't have any reason to trust…anyone, but I'm serious. I am trying to help you. And I'm not alone. I've already got Byakuren Hijiri from Myouren Temple and Kanako Yasaka from Moriya Shrine working with me, and you already know about Mima." Reimu scratched her head. "Even if she's just helping because she's bored. But seriously, I don't know if Rumia told you who they are, but those are some big names. Important people with a lot of power. We just need your cooperation, all right?"

Rumia let her hands fall and she collapsed onto her back with a sigh. So, it was a trick after all. She was willing to believe that Reimu Hakurei had been cajoled by Rin's bunny girl of a mother figure, and maybe Madam Mima was in on it too, even if her motives and goals were suspect. But this just went beyond the line of credulity.

Whatever.

Rin bit her lip. She glanced over at Rumia, who just shrugged and waved a hand in a vague manner. "Up to you," Rumia muttered. "Your call."

…

"Uh, Rin? I kinda need an answer now,"Reimu said, glancing around nervously. "We're working on borrowed time here. It won't be long before someone else shows up."

Rin stared at her a few moments longer, and Reimu found herself wondering what exactly was going on in that twisted and abused mind of hers. Was she speaking to Rumia? Consulting her for advice? Or was she receiving orders from the Shadow Youkai? With the power she held, Rin was perfectly capable of killing Reimu any time she felt like it, and there was little Reimu would be able to do about it.

"…I…" Rin said. Whether she was aware of it or not, her hands and arms were twitching. "…I don't…"

Reimu heard grass rustling nearby. Someone was approaching. Her head snapped up while her hands reflexively filled with spellcards. She was so close to finally reaching Rin. There was no way she was going to let some punk bounty hunter mess it up for her now.

But then she got a look at who it was and she felt the world collapse out from under her.

Yukari Yakumo strode through the grass, wearing a purple dress and her customary mopcap and twirling her umbrella over one shoulder. Ran Yakumo followed close behind, wearing that same white dress that she wore every time Reimu had seen her, her hands resting in the opposite sleeves. Despite what the recent reports had told her about Yukari's condition, the elder youkai looked just as healthy and beautiful as ever.

Rin had noticed her as well. Her back stiffened and her bladed fingers stretched out as far as they would go. The look in her eyes occupied the border between terror and resignation.

"Wait," Reimu said, desperate to avoid another disastrous misunderstanding. "She's not with me. I didn't even know she was here."

Rin didn't acknowledge her.

"Reimu Hakurei of Hakurei Shrine, you have done well!" Yukari called as she approached. "And now, please leave this place." She smiled. "The situation is under control. You need not fear, I will take Rin Satsuki safely into my custody."

…

It's my birthday and I'll update if I want to! Update if I want to, update if I want to!

You would update too if it happened to you.

Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh! Duhduhduhduhduh…

Okay, full confession time. While this chapter (and the next, as I had to split it into two due to length constraints) has plenty of plot significance and isn't filler, it was originally conceived for one reason and one reason only. And that was to have a giant robot fight. Why? Because giant robot fight.

"But IM is supposed to be a serious story! After all that angsty drama, aren't giant robots kind of-"

No. Giant robot fight.

"But it doesn't fit the overall tone!"

No. Giant robot fight.

"Now you're just been obtuse."

NO! GIANT ROBOT FIGHT!

Even so, this does illustrate something I've started noticing. Put the scheming Yukari and the…whatever-the-hell-she-is Yuuka on the bench, take a step back away from all the manipulating and arguments, and Gensokyo really is a rather silly place. And I for one enjoy a bit of silly.

Even if poor Rin had to suffer. Just like she always does.

=cough=

Anyway, given that it's my birthday and this story has been going steadily for two years now, I do have one request. As many of you know and have been contributing to, this story has a kickass TV Tropes article that is growing steadily by the month, which I really appreciate :D! But as awesome as it is now, those Awesome/Funny/Heartwarming/Tearjerker/Nightmare Fuel sections at the top of the page are looking mighty empty, wouldn't you agree?

Hint, hint. ;p

Okay, that's enough shameless begging for one day. And by the way, the Madoka fic also just updated.

Until next time, everyone!