Less than Human / More than Human
Shinji rubbed his eyes as the LCL fluid filled the entry plug. Shinji smiled at the familiar scent of blood and the memories it invoked. Memories yet to pass, and memories of events that will never happen at all. Out of all the senses, none had a closer tie to memory than scent. Smells will evoke memories far better than sight, hearing, taste, or touch. It was to be expected, science has shown that smells have the capacity to trigger memories , there was even a name for this phenomenon... The Proust effect. It was understood that the olfactory processing system was startlingly close to the memory hub in the brain. As the LCL covered his head Shinji remembered a dead timeline. One that would not come to be, but... So long as he remembered it... It might as well have happened. He opened his eyes and smiled contently... Before he started rubbing his eyes again. Ritsuko, watching this frowned upon noticing that Shinji's eyes were bloodshot and puffy. She hummed to herself as the fluid passed Shinji's head.
"His eyes are irritated." Said Ritsuko as she took out a pen and paper and started to write.
Misato rose a brow.
"So?"
"Following the discovery of… Bokrug, there has been an increased amount of salt in the air from aerosolized sea spray. The Third Child may have an allergy. We've never actually seen how allergy affects sync ratio, so this should be enlightening."
"Is that what that is? I thought the air smelled brimy. Is any of that bad though?" Asked Misato.
"No. Following the… incident, it will be nice to get some usable data for once." Said Ritsuko as she cleared her throat and activated the microphone.
"Alright Shinji, We're going to be starting the tests. The machine is going to turn on. Just relax so we can establish a baseline." Said Ritsuko as Shinji nodded.
The machines whirled to life around Shinji and began displaying data.
"Commencing secondary contacts. A-10 nerve connection, normal. Bi-directional circuits are open. Synchronization rate at…"
Ritsuko watched as the percentage slowly started to crawl up. She rose a brow as it hit 12%.
"That's… odd." Said Ritsuko as it went to 15%.
"I… don't think it's supposed to be that slow." Said Misato.
20% Synchronization.
"It… shouldn't be."
25% Synchronization.
"What was his synchronization when he fought the… lizard… thing?" Asked Makoto.
30% Synchronization.
"Immediately upon activation, it was 41.3%."
40% Synchronization.
It was at this point the data became anomalous. Scans of Shinji's brain being analyzed by the MAGI indicated that Shinji appeared to possess an abnormal right amygdala, which was associated with taking action as well as being linked to negative emotions. It was… odd. According to the MAGI, his right amygdala had several characteristics usually associated with the left amygdala. The left amygdala allows for the recall of details, but it also results in more thought rather than action in response to emotionally stressful stimuli. Based on what the scans were telling Ritsuko... It was almost as if the right amygdala was a near, but not perfect, mirror of the left amygdala.
50% Synchronization.
Then more data started to reveal many other… peculiarities of Shinji's limbic system. According to the analysis by the MAGI, many readings suggested that several brain structures were slightly larger than they should be in a boy his age. These enlarged structures included the mammillary bodies, which were responsible for recollective memory, pituitary gland, which helps regulate the functions of other endocrine glands and regulate sleeping patterns, the thalamus, which relays motor and sensory signals to the cerebral cortex, and the hippocampus, which played important roles in the consolidation of information from short-term memory to long-term memory, and in spatial memory that enables navigation. Another minor change included more extensive connections between the two hemispheres of his brain.
80% Synchronization.
None of it was strictly speaking… too odd, and by themselves they would not be raising any red flags. After all, none of these changes were outside the human norm. Had it just been one or two component that was enlarged, it could be written off as an unusual, but not entirely unnatural quirk… but taken together… the sheer amount of abnormal architecture in a single brain was… alarming to say the least.
90% Synchronization.
The anomalous amygdala however was still the strangest part, everything else could possibly be the result of a single change that had an affect on other related parts of the brain. If that were the case, Ritsuko would put her money on the amygdala's anomalous structure as being the root cause for the other unusual readings… but, without an MRI, Ritsuko couldn't be sure exactly what was going on in Shinji's head.
110% Synchronization.
"Something's wrong." Said Ritsuko.
200% Synchronization.
"GET HIM OUT OF THERE!" Screamed Misato.
300% Synchronization.
Ritsuko was about to press the emergency shut off switch… right before the console in front of Ritsuko started sparking. Jumping away from the sudden electrical hazard, Ritsuko gritted her teeth and all but leaped at the emergency switch.
400%
All the while Shinji smiled and stared straight ahead. Completely unfazed by the chaos happening around him. Then… he disappeared, leaving behind only an empty plugsuit. Ritsuko finally pressed the button, right as Shinji disappeared and melted into LCL. Misato was about to scream… when something… strange happened. As soon as the power shut off, the LCL boiled and the Plugsuit was filled once again, slowly the fluid swirled as Shinji reformed before their very eyes just as he was prior to dissolving. Both women could only watch in baffled awe as this simple unassuming child did the impossible and pulled himself back together. Shinji was smiling as he stared ahead, Ritsuko looked in those blue eyes… and saw that something was looking back at her… peering into her deepest self. Watching, analyzing, judging, and appraising all of her innermost secrets.
"Is something wrong?" Asked Shinji calmly.
Ritsuko just stared blankly at the console…
"But…" said Ritsuko right as she noticed she could see her own breath.
Misato shivered, both due to the events that just happened and the sudden cold. Immediately she became aware that an unnatural cold set in, and the lights around her began to die, one by one until they were left in the dark.
"What the FUCK is going on now!?" All but screamed Ritsuko.
Japan was hit with the first snowfall since Second Impact, and mother nature seemed to want to make up for lost time because the entire country had fallen victim to a whiteout blizzard. Temperature hit an all time low, visibility outside was zero, and winds were holding at 75 kilometers per hour. Conditions were such that all buildings were retracted underground indefinitely. Power had been restored hours later, but the heating was a luxury many didn't have. Post Second Impact, Japan had all but eliminated the winter season. And most people only knew blistering summers and springs. No one had any reason to prepare for a possible winter, especially not in any of the months associated with winter.
Fuyutsuki sat wearing warm clothing, the warmest he could find at any rate.
Before him were a circle of Black Monoliths. This had been the first time he would talk to SEELE without Gendo present. The topic of the day, as it had been for the past two weeks, was the mysterious reptilian creature, and the snowstorm anomaly. Fuyutsuki believed that it was no coincidence that these strange weather patterns took place after the discovery of a lifeform that seemingly had no toes with either the fruit of life, or the fruit of knowledge. Leading to Fuyutsuki coming to a conclusion that SEELE did not like.
"The existence of a life form separate from either ADAM or Lilith is impossible. The seeds are responsible for life." Said SEELE 03.
"Not necessarily..." Argued Fuyutsuki. "... The Ancestral Race had to have come into existence without the seeds. They created them after all. If they could come into existence without a seed, then it stands to reason that something else could. There is nothing suggesting that all life in the galaxy would be a result of their machinations." Said Fuyutsuki.
"If you can call that thing alive in the traditional meaning of the word." Said SEELE 05
"A curiosity, no doubt, but the Vice Commander raises a valid point and one I am inclined to agree with." Said SEELE 01.
That… actually stopped the conversation cold before 01 continued.
"The First Ancestral Race chose Earth as the repository for the White Moon before, by cosmic Happenstance, a Black Moon landed here. The possibility that Earth was already inhabited… is not zero."
"If that were the case, these beings could very well want their property back." Said Fuyutsuki.
"Possible, but ultimately irrelevant. Instrumentality will proceed as planned." Said 01.
Fuyutsuki shook his head.
"I have a theory that another of these creatures has arisen. This blizzard we find ourselves in is not natural. Bokrug's presence generated a tsunami that flooded much of Tokyo-3. These creatures could, to an unknown degree, hold sway over the weather."
"A worrisome possibility, and one to consider. All our resources indicate that a Blizzard of this magnitude should be impossible." Said SEELE 04.
"If that is the case then the entity must be dealt with before the 4th Angel arrives. Assuming it does exist." Said SEELE 02.
"We'll need new equipment. The Evangelions will not operate at peak performance in these conditions." Said Fuyutsuki.
"We will take care of that." Said 02.
"Continue with operations as per usual. Meeting dismissed." Said 01.
Fuyutsuki rubbed his head, attempting to ease away a growing migraine. Things were most assuredly off the rails, even if the old men didn't want to actually address it. They were far too lax all things considered.
Fuyutsuki left the room utterly drained of energy, and more than a little cold due to inadequate heating. His breath was visible with each exhale as he thought on other… unforeseen circumstances. Namely, the Third Child.
Fuyutsuki felt something of Yui's son. However there was something… off about that child. He reminded him of Rei in many ways. Due to conditions everyone, including Shinji was permanently stationed in the Geofront. Conditions above making going home all but impossible. Those who attempted would most assuredly succumb to the elements and freeze to death. Some of the technicians had expressed… discomfort in the Child's presence. Similar to their discomfort around Rei. About the only person who seemed immune to this uncanny trait to Shinji was Misato. Ritsuko especially disliked being around the child. Especially after the analysis during a standard Sync Yest. Fuyutsuki himself had looked over the readings. An MRI, DTI, and PET scan had detected that all readings from the MAGI were more or less correct. However… the scan also indicated other peculiarities the MAGI did not detect… including reduced activity in the orbital cortex, a region of the brain thought to play a role in regulating emotions and impulses as well as morality and aggression. There were also reduced structural integrity in the white matter fibers connecting the amygdala and ventromedial prefrontal cortex. Taken together, it was as if Shinji had the perfect brain structure to diminish empathy, guilt, fear, and anxiety. There was also a greater volume of gray matter than the norm. Now, brain morphology does not always correlate to behavioral differences… but it was a good indicator.
Then there was the right amygdala. Out of everything, that was undoubtedly the most unnatural. Further examination showed that when Shinji first got in Unit 01, he didn't possess these peculiarities, or at least not to any noteworthy degree. Finally, and most alarmingly, there was the test itself amd what immediately proceeded the shutdown. The slow crawl that exploded to 400%. Tests were still inconclusive, but there was no denying it. Shinji somehow melted into LCL, a fate that should have been impossible to return from… and yet, as soon as power was cut, he pulled himself back together. Almost as if he had no idea what even happened.
The sheer number of oddities caused Dr. Akagi to look at absolutely everything that happened during the experiment. The only noteworthy thing was a slightly reduced amount of LCL post shut down… other than that, baring the abnormally high sync ratio, everything else was completely normal.
Fuyutsuki didn't know what this meant for the Scenario… but he had a feeling it needed some revisions.
Shinji hummed to himself as he walked the halls. He found that the cold was bearable. Everyone else requiring much heavier clothing to get by, but the temperature, while mildly uncomfortable, was manageable. Then… a presence made itself known. A strange uncanny presence that felt familiar… but not quite. Shinji turned his head to satiate his curiosity as he saw a flash of blue in his peripheral vision. The retreating form of a girl his age with blue hair was walking down the halls away from him before rounding a corner. Shinji hummed to himself as he watched her go. Nameless impressions once again filled his mind as he watched her. The most vivid of which was the feeling of soft fingers around the neck that squeezed tighter and tighter. He felt phantom pains of his windpipe closing forcefully as he was starved of oxygen, even his larynx became sore. Shinji coughed unconsciously as he rubbed his neck, right before his eyes started to itch again. He reached up to rub them and blinked his eyes… and immediately felt something very wrong about that seemingly mundane action. He blinked again… and felt the strange feeling again. Almost like something was rubbing his cornea. He rubbed his eyes again with his wrist as he started walking. As he rounded a corner, he once more caught sight of the same girl. Memories yet to pass entered into his mind. Rei, his mother's clone with the soul of an angel shoved inside of her. A tool designed for the explicit purpose of initiating the end of the world. He froze mid step as all the memories came flooding to the forefront of his mind.
He followed after her. Not quite sure what to say if he caught up. He rounded another corner… and found Rei… who stared back at Shinji blankly. She was still injured, and had a cast over her arm with bandages on her head, but she could walk with only a minor limp. Shinji hummed to himself as he unconsciously clicked his tongue, waiting for a response. She certainly was taking her time.
"Why were you following me?"
Shinji considered the question, before he answered.
"Am I following you, or are we heading to the same destination?" Said Shinji as he rubbed his neck, still sore from the phantom pains of strangulation.
That answer seemed to confuse Rei slightly. Or at least Shinji assumed it did. Rei continued staring back blankly, but there was the ever so slight unfocusing of her eyes. Shinji took a step forward, and began advancing on her, an action that had caused no discernable reaction from the blue haired girl. He leveled his gaze with hers, noticing she was unblinking.
"I was walking."
"Aimlessly? Well if that's the case then perhaps you could use a bit of company."
If Rei was surprised by this statement, she was very good at hiding it. She did however shift her gaze from Shinji's eyes, to his hands as they continued rubbing his throat.
"I do not require company." Said Rei.
Shinji blinked, and felt that strange feeling sliding across his eyes. Unconsciously he rubbed them… before noticing Rei was staring at him oddly. Her expression was mostly unchanged, but her eyes were wider. Almost imperceptibly so, but Shinji noticed all the same.
"What?" Asked Shinji.
"Your eyes are… different." Said Rei.
Shinji hummed idly before clicking his tongue. He blinked again… and for a split second, Shinji could swear that Rei was all but glowing oddly with reds, yellows, and oranges… like she were made of fire. Alas, it lasted but a moment. Still it was most… peculiar. Unconsciously Shinji rubbed his eyes again.
"Well… I just felt it would be best to get to know one another." Said Shinji.
"For what purpose?"
"Purpose? What does that have to do with anything?"
He saw the facade crack. It was subtle, but Rei quirked her head to the side at his words. Almost as if she couldn't quite comprehend what he was saying.
"What is the use of doing anything without Purpose?" She asked.
"What is the purpose of life?" Asked Shinji as he shrugged. "Existence is just existence. Life's only purpose is life itself. We exist for no purpose. Purpose is just a word we made up."
"Tools have purpose. They were designed to fulfil a function."
"True…" said Shinji thoughtfully.
He understood the meaning quite well. Rei was designed and born to fulfil a purpose… but… Shinji smiled as he continued.
"... But look at a hammer. It was designed to drive nails. Yet… how many other unintended uses does it have? Uses that go beyond driving nails. It has shaping and breaking applications… a claw hammer can straighten crooked blades, dig holes, break up ice, and they also makes a very convenient back scratcher."
Rei stared back blankly, like an unmoving statue. Shinji thought for a moment, before shrugging.
"Are there better tools for these jobs? Absolutely, but there is use in versatility. Most carpenters carry hammers, yet since the invention of the nail gun, hammers are very rarely used for their intended purpose, but there are so many other uses that they still carry an obsolete tool. Specifically for its versatility. So regardless of a things intended purpose, there can always be unintended uses. Still, that applies to tools, which you are not." Said Shinji a he started rubbing his eyes.
"My only purpose is to pilot the Evangelion. In this regard I am a tool."
"You had purpose thrust onto you. People may tell you that is the case, but you are a living thinking creature just like the rest of us. No one, absolutely no one is born on purpose or with purpose. You can only be deluded into thinking that you were. Have you ever considered that everyone telling you what your purpose is are wrong?"
Rei thought about it... She really thought long and hard about it at that instant. Her mind echoing back his words... What if they were wrong... After a moment, she dismissed it... For now. It was something to muse on later. Shinji spoke again.
"So would you like to get to know one another… for no purpose at all?"
Rei responded with a curt nod. Shinji smiled as he blinked… and started rubbing his eyes again. Everytime he blinked… it felt… wrong. Wrong in a way that had his mind still been human, it would make his skin crawl. Rei started walking with a confused expression on her face as Shinji ceased rubbing at his eyes.
"So, what do you think of the giant lizard that showed up?"
Rei thought of that. It was such an unexpected thing to suddenly show up out of nowhere. Really she had no opinion on it, but it was a curiosity. She answered with a shrug.
"You're not much of a talker, are you?"
"I talk when I need to."
"You should talk when you want to."
Rei seemed to consider this, but Shinji couldn't tell what decision she came to.
"I… am unsure what to say."
Shinji shrugged.
"Say what's on your mind."
…
"I…" said Rei before she stopped.
Shinji stopped as well. Rei looked deep in thought. Shinji waited patiently as he blinked. Like before Ayanami seemed to glow for a split second as his eyes opened, the sensation of something rubbing across his eyes also was much less noticeable… but still present.
"I don't… know what is on my mind."
"You'll figure it out." Said Shinji as he rubbed his eyes.
Rei felt… a warmth inside her despite the bitter cold that they found themselves in. A feeling she couldn't quite put into words. Outwardly she remained the same, but on the inside, a turmoil was brewing. She didn't know what it meant… but it was as the Third Child had said… she could figure it out.
"Nothing makes sense anymore." Said Ritsuko as she buried her face in her hands.
She bundled near the slightly overheated MAGI computer for whatever warmth it could deliver. Even still it did nothing to stop the unbearable cold that had befallen all of Japan. Outside the snow fell down in sheets and ice covered everything. Even still her mind was focused on the data she retrieved. Once Ritsuko felt like she knew the world and how it works. Everything could be learned, and there was nothing that was outside of her ability to understand.
…
Now… now she felt like her pursuits were nothing more than a joke. A pitiful attempt to try and understand how things worked. Everything she had ever known was thrown into question and every day a new impossibility presented itself that she just. Could. Not. Understand.
It started with the lizard. That damnable abomination that crept out of the sea to show her that all her knowledge was not just lacking, but fundamentally flawed. Science was just a pitiful shell around her mind. A vain hope that the vast cosmos could be understood, in the end it was little more than a security blanket to keep the true face of infinity at bay and allow her to wake up in the morning without screaming at the utter horror that was the unknown universe.
Some things just… could not be understood.
Yet, after that, she fell back to her faith in science. Her belief that it would not fail her… then… her life's work. The mechanism behind the Evangelions. Something that time and time again was predictable and quantifiable… did something unpredictable. Shinji melted… dissolved… fucking deconstructed into LCL for only a second. A fucking second before immediately salvaging and reconstructing himself from primordial soup with as much effort as it took her to blink, there was no denying it. If they actually put him in the Evangelion, he wouldn't just pilot it… he would become it.
It was this revelation that was as wonderful as it was utterly terrifying.
He could just slip into the Eva, like it was a second skin. Possess it like a ghost or a… demon. Then, when he didn't need it anymore… he would just… crawl back out with no apparent effort…What kind of person… what kind of thing could do that. Just shake off its humanity... Its sense of self when it suited him, and slip right back in at a moments notice.
…
What the hell was the Third Child?
Shinji groaned as he kept rubbing his eyes, trying to get the itching to stop. He found himself in the nearest bathroom he could find and immediately went to the sink to splash water in his face. The ice cold chill of freezing water stung somewhat as Shinji used a paper towel to dry his face. It alleviates the itching, but not enough to make it fully go away. As Shinji dried off his face, he found himself staring at the mirror intently… right as transparent nictitating membrane slid horizontally over his eyes. He stared back at his reflection unmoving for but a minute. Then he leaned in closer. He could feel them twitch in his sockets as they once more blinked.
He retreated slightly at the suddenness of it all. His eyebrows furrowed as he blinked the transparent eyelids once more, and kept them closed. Shinji noted that his iris was completely obscured, with only a small pinprick pupil visible through the milky white. He opened the membrane to stare back at his seemingly normal blue eyes once more. He observed his eyes carefully as he leaned in closer. Using his index finger and thumb, Shinji held his left eye wide and open. Slowly it dried out and began to redden with pulsing veins just beneath the sclera right before the nictitating membrane once more slid across his eye to moisten it. Shinji rubbed his eyes for a moment before carefully opening them. As his vision cleared, he began blinking his new transparent eyelids several times in rapid succession before blinking normally. He then looked back to the mirror. Nyarlathotep's words echoed through his mind.
"Something less than human." Said Shinji as he closed his nictitating membranes.
As he held them close, he noted that he could see quite well out of them, not as good as normal, but close enough. However, there was a sharpness there that he did not possess originally. A blurring of yellows, oranges, and reds with Shinji himself shining like a beacon in the cold. It took only a moment to realize what it was. Shinji's vision was bleeding into higher frequencies, and his visual range had expanded. Then the Membrane slid away, and the world was normal once more.
"But also something more." He said thoughtfully.
It then occured to Shinji that Rei's comment about 'strange eyes' indicated that she was well aware of his... Change.
...
He would have to do something about that. Though, upon reflecting, perhaps... He already had. Shinji smiled. He trusted Rei to keep this secret between them... Now all he had to do was figure out how to keep it from everyone else.