Fun fact about Edward Cullen: when angry, his throbbing forehead vein can be seriously enthralling. Eddie bear. What a disgusting nickname. And while the woman (or shrieking harpy) in front of me was pretty, her gown was decidedly... not. I'd never seen so much pink taffeta before. Blonde and supported by an obvious boob job, Lauren Mallory was tacky, snobby, and obviously very stupid.

I understood it now, why Edward was so angry she'd been able to deceive him. The woman appeared to have all the brains and tact of a fork, and that may be an insult to the fork. I watched him, even as I listened to her and Rose. He was silent. The only thing giving away his feelings of anger, was that throbbing vein. I inched closer to him, looping my arm in his, and leaning my head on his shoulder. I tried to speak quietly.

"I'm sorry. I know this wasn't the plan."

The only evidence he'd heard me was his squeezing my arm once.

"Mallory, you're taking too long to get to the point and I am running out of patience. What the hell are you doing here?"

"Esme's been planning this fundraiser for months. I wasn't going to turn down an invitation."

I didn't think it was possible, but the shade of red that Rose turned matched her name. Before she could reply, a woman approached, and this woman couldn't have been anyone other than Esme Cullen. I had never met her before. I hadn't seen any pictures either, but her and Edward had exactly the same color hair, and they both had piercing green eyes. To anyone watching, she looked calm and regal. From my vantage point, Lauren Mallory should probably count her days.

"Edward was invited with a plus one. I didn't think I needed to specify that he should take out the trash on his way."

I watched as Esme and all three siblings mirrored the same posturing. Pursed lips and crossed arms, and an expression that brooked no argument, and I could feel my own eyes go wide.

"Rose, I know you've brought my handsome son-in-law with you tonight. Would you mind if I borrowed him for a moment? It seems as if I could use a little bit of muscle."

"Bullshit. You aren't going to let that oaf touch me. And I'm not sure why you think I'm trash. Edward can't talk about what happened between us."

I watched as Rose and Edward immediately opened their mouths to respond. I also watched as they immediately shut them at a wave of Esme's hand.

"Young lady, the brunette on my son's arm, come here."

In a show of support, Edward led me toward his mother, and barely audibly gave me parting advice.

"Just be you."

I nodded in acknowledgement and curtsied quickly at her side. Extending my hand by way of greeting, I prayed that whatever my part may be in this game of cat and mouse, that Esme would release me back to Edward soon.

"Isabella Swan. A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mrs. Cullen."

"I see you've done your homework. Very good, Isabella."

"Please, call me Bella."

I watched as she beamed at me. Nothing cold or calculating, but something amounting to a real genuine smile.

"Bella. Please. Where did you get your gown."

At this I blushed scarlet.

"Edward's stylist, Angela Webber chose this for me."

"And honest too. Tell me Bella. Do you like Lauren's gown?"

I froze then. I wasn't sure of what to say. The entire thing was a monstrosity. It was less a gown, more frilly, cheap, curtain-like fabric, and the entire thing was bubblegum pink. I thought she belonged at a carnival, not a fundraiser.

"It's alright. Bella dear, just be honest."

I looked to Rose and Alice for assistance and they merely shrugged. Edward was much more helpful.

"Isabella, show her why I brought you."

I closed my eyes briefly and sighed deeply.

"I'm not sure you can really call what she's wearing a gown, but no, I don't."

"Why you little..."

"Lauren dear, Isabella's speaking. Perhaps you should wait your turn. Please continue."

I looked to Edward for confirmation. I was here with him and this situation was ultimately going to effect him the most. I wanted to be sure of my role here. At his nod of confirmation, I let loose.

"Only someone without any couth would show up somewhere they obviously aren't wanted. In case you needed clarification, it means you're a tacky bitch that doesn't possess the manners god gave a goose. Seriously. What did you expect here? For Edward to run back into your overly tanned arms? News flash. In very little time, he found a suitable date, someone who understands the difference between Galliano and Great Value. Does Walmart know you've been ripping off their designs? Mrs. Cullen, I may be wrong here, but I don't think we'll need Emmett's assistance here. While the trash may not take itself out, it certainly won't ever be mistaken for treasure ever again."

With Lauren a red and pink sobbing, stuttering mess, I made my way back to Edward's side.

"Well then. Bella, remind me to find you again as the evening progresses. You're the first suitable date my son's brought home in ages. As for you Mallory, you have... ten minutes to leave the premises. I'd give you five, but you've got all of that extra fabric to lug around. Children, we'll be starting soon. Perhaps we should visit the bar and find our seats. I'm going to find your father."

With that, she was gone. Squeezing Edward's arm briefly, I walked over to Rose and Alice.

"Ladies, let's visit the powder room. I'm not sure about you, but I think my lipstick could do with a touch up, and I don't think anyone had 'bail Rose out of jail' on their to do list."

Instead of waiting for confirmation, I walked in the direction of what I thought was the bathroom. Edward hadn't had much time to show me around, but I needed to get out of this. I'd played things more boldly than I actually felt. Before I could get too lost in my head, Edward was there, a genuine smile on his face.

"I figured we'd start with and keep you on champagne, and a cocktail sweet enough to taste good, but not spoil your dinner."

I could only smile in response. If I were being truthful with myself, I'd admit that I was still slightly overwhelmed. Before I had the time to react, Edward was close. To anyone watching, it would appear as if the two of us were having an intimate moment. In a way, it was. He bent slightly to whisper in my ear.

"Relax. Deep breaths. You were incredible. I promise that will be the most difficult part of the night."

With a parting kiss to the cheek, he was gone, and I found myself needing support. Immediately, Rose and Alice appeared, taking me arm and arm into the bathroom.

"Alright. You're all pretty, pretty, petunias. Now everybody get the fuck out!"

I barely registered Rose's words, or Alice's shock, and when the women began to leave the restroom in a mass exodus, I began to laugh, almost maniacally. Once the bathroom had been cleared, Rose sat me down.

"Ok. While I readily admit you're handling of the trash was both calculating and heroic, I know that was a lot to take in. How are ya kid?"

I didn't really know what to say. How was I?"

"Bella, we can't spend the rest of the evening in here. You need to talk."

I nodded slowly.

"I feel ok. I knew I'd run into her eventually, but hadn't expected it to be here, tonight. Do you think Esme and Edward are mad at me? I don't want to step on anyone's toes."

"Bella, relax. Nobody is mad that you gave that troll exactly what she deserved. I could have honestly watch her spar with you and Rose all night, but thankfully it ended."

"Seriously Bella, that was awesome. I knew you had a spine, but that was like a verbal WWE match. Hopefully now, she'll get the hint."

"One can only hope. Let's get going. I don't want Esme to think that the new girl is a bad influence."

With a deep breath, I left the comfort and safety of the bathroom, and hoped that Edward was right about the hard part being over."