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Arya Stark I

Winterfell, North, 298 AC

Father had received word from Lord Cerwyn informing that King Robert had just left Castle Cerwyn which meant that they would arrive at Winterfell before the day's end. Mother, Ros, Dany, and Elianna were all pacing around the castle as if they were cockroaches fleeing from light, shouting orders at every soul around while father was with Jon, Bran, and the guards. Arthur was somewhere too, perhaps the library he loved so much.

Arya, however, had grown impatient and bored with the wait and decided to climb one of Winterfell's walls that had the best point of view to the East Gate which she assumed would be the gate from which the King would arrive and from which she hoped she could see the retinue of soldiers arrive.

Nymeria was down there, barking at her, annoyed that she could not be up there with her owner. Ros said she was as stubborn as Arya and the young girl did not contradict her mentor for she believed it true. "Quiet Nymeria!" she shouted annoyed but in truth, she was so happy to have her own pup, a cute pup that made Arya, a girl who hated girlish things, admit she was cute like a girl would.

The guards were not around for the time being but who knew when they would find it fit to spoil her fun, like so many times before…Father and Old Nan said it was the blood of her namesake, Arya Flint, who made her like climbing buildings at times. She had no way to confirm it but she assumed they were right, they knew House Stark's story much better than her. Just as she returned her gaze to the Kingsroad, she saw them! A bunch of dots in the horizon, growing larger in number and size by the minute. After a couple of minutes, she could see the yellow flags of House Baratheon waving proudly with the wind…she grew excited and remained there watching them for some time, amazed with the whole apparatus… "Hey, who's there?"

Arya glanced to her right and saw the Winter Guards coming in her way, she barked inside her head and grabbed a helmet that was there in the sentry's post which she placed on her head. "No one!" she replied giggling as she turned around and jumped back to the wall, catching the loose stones she had memorized years before to climb that specific wall. In no time she was on the floor where Nymeria came to tackle her, demanding attention and ranting her for not carrying her up there.

"Lady Arya, one of these days you will hurt ya self!" One of the soldiers shouted as they glanced at her from where she had been. They knew who she was…everyone knew about Winterfell's troublemaker…

"No I will not!" she barked at them. "But thank you for caring!" And there she went…to the kennels to store Nymeria as father had instructed. She didn't want to do it but father made his Lord's face which meant there was no room to sway him…

She left the kennels running and noticed that the many servants of the castle were accumulating near the walls, hoping to see the King pass…she moved in between a bunch of them until she climbed to the back of a wagon with no horses and was able to watch the procession enter the castle. Leading them came two knights in white armor, the Kingsguard that her late uncle Arthur Dayne had belonged. After them came a bunch of riders with many colors but all flying House Baratheon's flags. The one that called for her attention the most was a huge man wearing what seemed like a wolf or dog helmet who followed a blond and annoyed boy…She thought the huge man looked cool with that helmet and so she decided she wanted to have Mikken do a wolf helmet for her.

A sudden realization made her remember that she was meant to be by her family's side to receive the King so she jumped out of the wagon and made her way to the entrance of the Great Keep lest to make mother angry with her angry face who sent shivers down everyone's spines or worse…anger father who…well…she never saw him angry but her elder siblings did and they said they had never been so afraid in their lives which meant that father being angry would be the scariest thing…

After a little bit of using shortcuts only she knew, she saw her whole family standing there in a horizontal line, waiting. Her mother was looking worriedly and soon she gazed at Arya running towards them and her worried look shifted to a worriedly and annoyed look. She passed by her as fast as she could but was caught by her father's hands. "Hey! What are you doing with that on?" he said with a raised eyebrow as he took her helmet off which annoyed her because she wanted to show that King that she was like Jonquil Drake and perhaps he would appoint her to be the Queen's sworn shield. She noticed that Jon and Bran were both smiling but she saw no reason to smile, father was taking her helmet off! "Go to Arthur's side." Her father commanded and she made her way there…annoyed and more annoyed she got when Bran messed with her hair when she passed him.

"Hey!" she hissed.

"Just combing it a little bit, soldier." he said chuckling.

"Stupid…" she murmured as she walked to Arthur's side. She then noticed Dany was not present and she wondered why…might she had a bad belly? Arya did not make much of it and chose to watch the bulk of the procession enter her line of sight. The Kingsguard knights came first followed by the cool armored giant and the blond boy who she noticed was looking at Elianna who had a weird look on her face…Speaking of face…she was…surprised by the ugly way the giant's face looked…half-burned and gruesome…she wanted to puke…

Then a huge man with black hair and deep blue eyes arrived, flanked by two other knights of the Kingsguard…there was no doubt in Arya's mind that the man was King Robert but considering everything she knew of him, she expected a man tall like Hodor and leaned like father, not a fat man that looked like a bloody bear…How did he defeat Dany's real brother, the man who abducted aunt Lyanna looking like that? What a disappointment…

Father gave the order for everyone to bow by kneeling and so she did it to not cause more problems than what she usually did. Some servants helped the fat King unhorse his majestic black Destrier, a well-bred one…and he immediately walked towards father who was still down. He made a hand gesture for father to stand up and he did, which prompted everyone to stand up too. "Your Grace, Winterfell is yours." Father said.

The King who donned a huge beard and belly stood still looking at father with a serious face and Arya wondered what was happening a bit scared too… "You got fat." The King said and everyone looked at him, including father who seemed to make a gesture as to…look at you smartass which made Arya giggle and to her surprise, the King began laughing a loud and contagious laugh that had some traces of a horse' neigh which even made father laugh and that was so rare but amusing. They embraced each other like long lost brothers until the King broke his embrace and looked at mother. "Ashara Dayne!"

"Your Grace." Mother bowed with a smile that didn't look quite right and suddenly the King embraced her and caught her off-guard because mother's reaction was pretty easy to spot.

The King moved back to father with a very happy look. "Nine years…why haven't I seen you?" The King asked. "Where in Seven Hells have you been?"

"Guarding the North for you, Your Grace." Father said.

"And keep the two hostages in line I presume." The King said, his expression getting grimmer. Arya immediately understood he was speaking of Dany and Theon. "I see Greyjoy over there, behind your sons but where is she?"

Father looked uneased, even Arya could tell that much. "She's in her room, guarded by two guards…we didn't think you would like to see her…"

"You are wrong, I do want to see her." The King dismissed as he walked towards Jon. "Is there a feast?"

"Yes, Your Grace, how could it not?" Father said with a weird smile after he looked at mother.

"I want to see her then." The King said. "Take a good look at her…" Then he looked at Jon whose face was grimmer than normal and stood there looking at him for a bit. "You must be Jon Stark am I right?" A hand was extended to her older brother.

"I am, You Grace." Jon said as he shook the hand of the King but he seemed angry…

"Your Jon Arryn's namesake but you look like your father…" The King whispered. "How many girls have you…laid with?"

Jon was caught off-guard with the question and began blushing. "Your Grace…I…"

The King laughed once more. "I knew it! Like father like son!" he clapped Jon's shoulder and her brother remained ashamed. The King then moved to face Brandon, who had a smile. "Ah, this one has his mother's coloring…but…I remember this smirk…it's your uncle Brandon's isn't it? What's your name lad?"

"I'm named after my uncle, Your Grace," Bran said as he shook hands with the King. "Name's Brandon too."

"Bloody hell Ned, you got quite the way with names." The King as he moved to see Elianna. "You are the pretty one like your mother…what is your name?"

"Elianna Stark, Your Grace." Elianna said bowing exactly as mother did earlier.

The King lost his smile again. "Eli…anna…I see where you got your name from…" he moved to Arthur next as if he could not look at Elianna anymore...why? "Oh…show us your muscles!"

Arthur blushed as Jon did earlier. "Your Grace…" he said ashamed as he tried to show his muscles which did not exist.

"You will be a fine warrior!" The King said happier as he messed with Artie's hair. He seemed to have many mood swings if Arya was to guess. "What is your name lad?"

"Arthur Stark."

"With a name like that, I have no doubt now."

"Thank you, Your Grace." Arthur bowed.

The King moved to stand in front of Arya now and Gods…he was huge…in size and weight…although he looked nothing like she expected, she did find him intimidating for he was like three times her size if not more…he looked at her from up and down. "And your name is?"

"Arya!" she replied, trying to not sound scared.

The King smiled a weak smile. "Nice to meet you." he then looked at father. "Any more children Ned?"

"There is Lyra over there." Father said as Ros stepped forward with Arya's younger sister in hand.

"Hey, there little one!" The King said with a big smile but Lyra got scared as always and hide her face in Ros' breasts which made the King laugh. "I see plenty of you in them Ned and the Gods have been good to you with so many wolves around heh?"

"Indeed." Father replied with a warm smile.

"At least one of us got it…" The King said bitterly as a huge double-decked wheelhouse arrived flanked by two other Kingsguards and a woman as beautiful as mother but blonde and green-eyed exited it followed by two kids about Arya's age with her coloring, a boy and girl.

The woman who could only be the Queen approached father with a smile like mother's and father knelt in front of her before she extended her hand which father kissed. "My Queen." Father said as he stood up.

"Lord Stark." The Queen acknowledged before she turned towards mother. "Lady Stark."

"My Queen." Mother said bowing once more with a smile to match the Queen's.

"Take me down to the crypts Ned." The King said suddenly in a commanding voice. "I would pay my respects."

"We have been riding for months My King and the introductions have not been made." The Queen said in a distant tone which together with the way she addressed the King made Arya confused…were they not supposed to call each other by their name or by my love? Had she been missing something? "Surely the dead can wait…"

The King looked at her with anger and one of the Kingsguard knights walked forward to grab the Queen's arm and she said no more words and walked away. "Ned." The King called again and father looked at mother, then at the Queen, and then every one of his children before he followed Robert towards the crypts.

Everyone began dispersing, Arya looked at the Queen again and noticed she was talking with the Kingsguard knight still while the younger blond Princes seemed lost. "Elianna, go and show the rooms to the Princes." Mother began commanding. "Jon, Bran see that every horse and knight is accommodated, Ros go tell Dany that…the King wants to see her, Arya and Artie, you took take care of Lyra until the feast."

Arya immediately wanted to protest because she did not want to take care of her younger sister. "But mother!"

"No buts!" Mother said with her serious face which immediately sent shivers down Arya's spine. "This is a very important and busy day Arya, one which all of us are needed and I will not tolerate any protests, am I clear?"

Arya bit her lower lip. "Yes…"

"Good, go on, everyone. I'm counting on you." They dispersed with mother walking towards the Queen before Ros stopped her and exchanged some words with a concerned face but Arya paid them no mind and followed her brother and grabbed Lyra's little hand to…entertain her…

Eddard Stark III

Winterfell, North, 298 AC

Ned couldn't hide the surprise he felt at how bad Robert looked…he had gained at least eight stone in weight, a beard as coarse and black as iron wire covered his jaw to hide a newfound double chin and the sag of royal jowls a task it succeeded moderately unlike his doublet which failed to contain the huge stomach…and he had dark circles under his eyes…This man, his King looked like a completely different person from his best friend…and the fact that he wanted to see Daenerys sent shivers down his spine…The Lord of Winterfell seriously hoped it was only the looks that changed…

The winding stone steps were narrow and without the lantern that Ned was holding they would definitely fall down and get themselves killed, he did not doubt that. "I was starting to think we would never reach Winterfell," Robert complained as they descended. "A man forgets the North is as big as the other six Kingdoms combined."

"I trust you enjoyed the journey, Your Grace?"

Robert snorted. "Bogs and forests and fields and scarcely a decent inn north of the Neck…I've never seen such a vast emptiness…Where are your people?"

"Likely they were too shy to come out…" Ned jested as he felt the chill coming up the stairs, a cold breath from deep within the earth. "Kings are a rare sight in the North…the last one came here almost two centuries ago."

"If you didn't tell me it snowed in summers when we were kids, I would have had my mouth opened more than what I had when I saw how much fucking snow was in the roads…" The King ranted as he placed one hand on the wall to steady himself as they descended. "Nice roads I might add, in much better condition than those south of the Neck. What have you been doing here?"

"I hope the snow did not trouble you too much," Ned replied to the first question. "As for the roads, we have been improving them as much as we can to help with trade."

"Yes, they tell me of a new port in the western coast…I have heard the Tyrells and even the Lannisters are interested in it." Robert said and Ned was surprised to hear the Lannisters were interested in trading with the North but he shouldn't be given that the harbor was being a success thanks to the trade with Oldtown.

"They haven't told me anything so…no deals." Ned replied.

"I suppose that's a good way to put it," Robert admitted. "How is this place in winter? I shudder to think…"

"Winters are hard but the Starks endure them, we always have." Ned assured.

"And your wife? Does she endure the harsh winters too?" Robert asked in a slightly mocking tone, the way he did when they were kids.

"Her blood is hot like Dorne," Ned said. "And you don't get these many kids by just staying at the fireplace…"

Robert's laugh echoed through the crypts. "I cannot believe what I just heard…Ned fucking Stark bragging how much he fucks his wife…I was going to say you did not change a thing but I see you did!"

"I do not know what you are talking about…" Ned smiled.

"Ashara Dayne…what a woman heh?" Robert murmured amused. "I still can't believe you married such a beauty…I didn't believe it when I saw you two at Harrenhal or the Eyrie but Gods I'm glad you ended up so well, my friend."

"Your Queen isn't a plain-looking woman by any chance." Ned retorted. Ashara was still gorgeous as she was when he met her and to him, she was the most beautiful woman in the known world but the Queen was definitely not bad at all either.

"She is beautiful indeed…but she isn't Lyanna." Robert murmured bitterly. "She is but a Gods' damned viper and I can't stand her." Robert said, his face red from the effort he was making and perhaps anger as well…Ned felt some sort of pity for the woman…how would it be if it was Lyanna in her place? Would she be happy? Then again he didn't like the Lannisters and it wasn't so surprising that the woman was a viper and Robert hated her. Lyanna was no viper but neither was she made to be a Queen…

They reached the bottom of the stairs and stepped out into the darkness of the crypt. "Your Grace," Ned said respectfully as he swept the lantern in a wide semicircle. Between the pillars, the dead sat on their stone thrones against the walls, backs against the sepulchers that contained their mortal remains. "They are down at the end."

Robert followed him wordlessly, shivering in the subterranean chill. Their footsteps rang off the stones and echoed in the vault overhead as they walked among the dead of House Stark. The Lords of the North watched them pass, their likenesses were carved into the stones that sealed the tombs, great stone direwolves like Winter curled around their feet which made Ned wonder what all these Southrons would think of her…likely they would be scared to dead…

Ned stopped at last and lifted the oil lantern. The crypt continued on into the darkness ahead of them but beyond that point, the tombs were empty and unsealed, waiting for their dead…waiting for him and his children...Ned did not like to think about that but it was the way life was. "Do you have one for you already?" Robert asked confused as he saw the hole next to them.

"Aye." Ned nodded. "It is an ancient custom."

"A vile custom I must say." Robert spat out. "Who lives well by knowing he has his tomb calling for him?"

"I don't know…" Ned admitted.

Robert nodded silently, knelt, and bowed his head in respect to the three tombs in front of him. There stood everyone Ned had lost in the Rebellion…his father, his brother Brandon, and his sister Lyanna… "All death before their time…I still remember Brandon from that cursed tourney…we got ourselves drunk one of the nights and he told me he'd beat me if I harmed your sister…"

"I imagine he would…" Ned smiled a weak smile like Robert's.

"She was more beautiful than that…" Robert murmured in a whisper, his eyes lingering on Lyanna's face, somehow hoping he could bring her back to life…Ned had many times tried to do the same, to all three of them but it always failed. "Ah, damn it, Ned, did you really need to bury her in a place like this? She deserved more than darkness…"

"She was a Stark of Winterfell," Ned dismissed. "This is her place."

"She should be on a hill somewhere, under a fruit tree with the sun and the clouds above her and the rain to wash her clean." Robert poetically continued.

"I was with her when she died…" Ned reminded his friend. "She wanted to come home…to rest beside Brandon and Father." he could hear her still at times…Promise me, Ned...Ned could recall so little of what happened…it took such a heavy toll on him… "We bring her flowers when we can," he said as happier memories of his children feeling the tombs with flowers made way to his head. "Lyanna was…fond of flowers…"

The King touched her cheek, his fingers brushing across the rough stone as gently as if it was living flesh. "I vowed to kill Rhaegar Targaryen for what he did to her…"

"And you did." Ned reminded him.

"Only once," Robert said bitterly. "In my dreams, I kill him every night," he admitted. "A thousand deaths will still be less than what he deserves."

There was nothing Ned could say to that…he seriously hoped he did not think Daenerys was Rhaegar because that would be stupid and dangerous. "We should return, Your Grace. Everyone should be waiting for us."

"Gods Ned I'm tired of hearing Your Grace coming from you," Robert muttered sourly, as he started back the way they had come, his footsteps falling heavily. "I'll have your head on a spike if I hear it once more. We are more to each other than that, we are best friends, we are brothers."

"I have not forgotten," Ned replied quietly, thinking about Elia Martell and her children…dead…of Ashara crying and slapping him so many times before he could tell what really happened… "Tell me about Jon then," he begged as he tried to change the subject once more, especially in his mind. "How did he die?"

Robert shook his head. "I have never seen a man sicken so quickly…We gave a tourney on my son's name day, if you had seen Jon then, you would have sworn he would live forever. A fortnight later he was dead…the sickness was like fire in his gut, it burned right through him." he paused beside a pillar, before the tomb of a long-dead Stark. "I loved that old man…"

Perhaps Ashara's theory was true…perhaps Jon had been poisoned… "We both did." But who did it? "How does his wife fare?"

Robert's mouth gave a bitter twist. "Not well in truth…" he admitted. "I think losing Jon has driven the woman mad, Ned. She has taken their son back to the Eyrie, against my wishes too as I had hoped to foster the boy with Tywin Lannister at Casterly Rock…Jon had no one ever since Elbert and Denys died…"

Ned would sooner entrust a child to a pit of vipers than to Tywin Lannister and Ashara would agree with him too but he said nothing. "The wife has lost the husband," Ned said carefully. "Perhaps the mother feared to lose the son as well. The boy is very young too is he not?"

"The boy is six and sickly and now Lord Paramount of the Vale." Robert further clarified. "Lord Tywin has never taken a ward before, Lysa ought to have been honored with it." Ned had to disagree with Robert there… "The Lannisters are a great and noble House and yet she refused to even hear of it and then she left in the dead of night without as much as a by-your-leave…Cersei was furious." Robert sighed deeply. "The boy is my namesake, did you know that?" Ned remembered a letter sent by Jon six years ago explaining just that. "Robert Arryn is his name…I am sworn to protect him and how can I do that if his mother steals him away?"

"Have you tried to ward him somewhere else?" Ned suggested. "I could foster him here…" He was sure the children would like that, Arthur could use a friend…

"A generous offer, my friend," Robert admitted. "But it's too late now, Lord Tywin has already given his consent and fostering the boy elsewhere would be a grievous affront to him."

"I have more concern for Jon's son than I do for Lannister pride." Ned declared.

"You don't sleep with a Lannister in your bed." Robert laughed, the sound rattling among the tombs and bouncing from the vaulted ceiling. "Ah Ned…you are still too serious, how do you keep your Dornish wife in your bed in the winter as you said?"

"I have my ways…" Ned replied. "I can assure she hasn't complained about lack of affections."

Robert broke into laughter right as Ned finished this line and then he felt his friend's massive around his shoulders. "I must congratulate your wife for making you far looser but Gods doesn't she still have a long way to go?"

"One has to keep his seriousness," Ned said. "A Lord's composure is everything…"

Robert looked at the floor for a bit as he chuckled and then he resumed the conversation. "I had planned to wait a few days to speak to you but…I see there's no need for it…come walk with me."

They started back down between the pillars as the King kept his arm around Ned's shoulder. "You must be wondering why I finally came north, to Winterfell."

Ned has his suspicions but did not voice them hoping it would make them no come true. "For the joy of seeing the realm's most beautiful woman and her sour husband?"

Robert broke into laughter yet again. "I really need to congratulate that woman…"

"You need to see the Wall…to walk along its battlements and talk to those who man it." Ned changed the subject once more. "The Night's Watch is a shadow of what it once was, my brother says…"

"No doubt I will hear what your brother says soon enough." Robert cut in. "The Wall has stood for what, eight thousand years? It can stand for a few days more, I have more pressing concerns…" he added. "These are difficult times and…I need good men about me, men like Jon…he will not be easy to replace."

"His son…" Ned began.

"His son will succeed to the Eyrie and the Vale and with it, all its incomes," Robert said brusquely. "No more."

That took Ned by surprise and so he stopped, startled, and turned to look at Robert, the words came unbidden. "The Arryns have always been Wardens of the East, the title goes with the domain."

"Perhaps when he comes of age, the honor can be restored to him," Robert said. "I have this year to think of, and the next. A six-year-old boy is no war leader, Ned."

"In times of peace, the title is only an honor." Ned dismissed. "Let the boy keep it, for his father's sake if not his own. Surely you owe Jon that much for his service."

Robert did not look pleased as he took his arm from around Ned's shoulders. "Jon's service was the duty he owed his King," he said. "I am not ungrateful Ned. You of all men ought to know that but the son is not the father, a mere boy cannot defend the east." Then his tone softened. "Enough of this, there is a more important office to discuss." Robert grasped Ned by the elbow. "I have need of you, Ned."

"I am yours to command, Your Grace." These were words he had to say and so he said them, apprehensive about what might come next.

Robert scarcely seemed to hear him. "I need you by my side again, Ned, I want you down in King's Landing, not up here at the end of the world where you are no damned use to anybody." Robert looked off into the darkness, for a moment as melancholic as a Stark. "I swear to you, sitting on the throne is a thousand times harder than winning one. Laws are a tedious business and counting coppers is worse. And the people…there is no end to them…I sit on that damnable iron chair and listen to them complain until my mind is numb. They all want something, money or land or justice…and the lies they tell…the lords and ladies are no better, I am surrounded by flatterers and fools…it can drive a man to madness, Ned. Half of them don't dare tell me the truth and the other half can't find it. There are nights I wish we had lost at the Trident…ah, no, not truly but…you get my point don't you?"

"I do…" Ned said softly, perfectly knowing what he was talking about for Ashara and Jon Arryn had warned him long ago of how King's Landing was.

Robert looked at him. "I think you do my friend." he smiled. "Lord Eddard Stark, I would name you the Hand of the King."

Ned dropped to one knee. The offer did not surprise him…for what other reason would Robert come so far from King's Landing? Being Hand of the King was the last thing Ned wanted, however…

"Your Grace…" Ned murmured. "I am not worthy of the honor."

Robert groaned with good-humored impatience. "If I wanted to honor you, I'd let you retire already. I am planning to make you run the realm and fight the wars while I eat and drink and wench myself into an early grave." he then slapped his gut and grinned. "You know the saying about the King and his Hand?"

Ned did know the saying. "What the King dreams, the Hand builds."

"I bedded a fishmaid once who told me the lowborn have a juicier way to put it…The King eats, they say and the Hand takes the shit." he threw back his head and roared his laughter, the echoes rang through the darkness and all around them, the dead seemed to watch with cold and disapproving eyes. Finally, the laughter dwindled and stopped, Ned was still on one knee, his eyes unpraised. "You helped me win this damnable throne Ned so now help me hold it. We were meant to rule together…if Lyanna had lived, we should have been brothers, bound by blood as well as affection…Well…it's not too late, I have a son and you have a daughter. My Joffrey for your Elianna…it shall join our houses, as Lyanna and I might once have done."

This offer surprised him more than Robert wanting him to be the Hand… "Ashara needs to be consulted before anything can be decided." he said as quickly as he could, trying to buy time.

Robert laughed yet again. "That woman has you in her pockets…the great and grim Eddard Stark controlled by a Dornishwoman nor less…fine tell her what you must, sleep on it too if it helps you." Robert reached down clasped Ned by the hand and pulled him roughly to his feet. "Just don't keep me waiting too long, I am not the most patient of men." This is my place Robert, the North is my home, not the south...This is where I belong…with my family. "Now, I'm hungry and I also wish to see her…I'm hoping you succeeded in shaping her as you and Jon promised fifteen years ago…" This just left him more uneased, how could he serve a man who held such hatred towards a girl Ned considered a daughter? Gods be damned…

Thank you for the review Radomir's Renegades, Viserys is still alive and bitter, I have some plans for him in mind, plans I couldn't use in my main story. The story you are referring to is Winter Roses which I have read Part 1 though I don't remember it too well.

Not many differences from canon here...gave Arya some of Catelyn's Bran traits and put a lot of things from the show in this one because let's face it the whole scene looks slightly better in the show which is to say a lot considering what happened in later seasons. I'm afraid House of the Dragon will be better than the later seasons but not better nor equal to earlier seasons of GOT which I shame...

Anyway, what do you guys think will happen next? Should Winter give a tackle to Bobby B at some point? I'm sure he would crack himself laughing...