Two days passed by since Dawn's party and things between Kat and Spike had somewhat gone back to normal. But not completely. She only saw him at the Magic Box at the meetings or just loitering when he didn't have anything better to do and they were back to taunting each other and trading barbs. But this time, the malice and burning hatred that was once there was dulled down and she found herself enjoying their back and forth. Found it amusing and not infuriating. Found herself wondering where he was when he wasn't here. She wondered why. Wondered how on earth it had come to this. She wondered just when it had happened. If it had been a long time coming or if it started back in the basement and was cemented when he saved her at the party. She decided not to dwell on it though. It was hard enough with that fake smile and the everything's peachy attitude and it gave her one less thing to be wildly stressed over. Which was just in time since she had more shit on her plate.

She knew it was dramatic but what happened with Noah and knowing what could have happened to her, she was having nightmares. Nightmares where Spike didn't come in and help her. Didn't come in and save her from that fate. She'd taken to barely sleeping and the purple rings around her eyes were proof of that. But she didn't say a word. When people asked her if she was okay, she smiled and said she was fine. This was her battle to fight. Her demon to deal with. She was walking to the Magic Box after picking up Dawn from school. The girl had been yammering on about... something but Kat had been in and out of it. Exhausted from lack of sleep and just in her own head. She nodded when she thought the right time was and that seemed enough for the young girl to be content that she was listening. She was grateful the second they stepped foot in the store. Not so grateful at how her eyes flit around and she felt the pang of disappointment that the blonde vamp was nowhere to be seen. What she did notice though was how everyone was gathered at the table and it wasn't even in time for a Scooby meeting.

"What's going on?" she asked as she approached the table. Giles was cleaning his glasses looking stressed and that was never a good sign. Buffy just blew out a big breath and looked up from where she sat.

"A vamp kill," she frowned. It wasn't unheard of given where they were but the whole team had been really good with being on top of things.

"Anyone we know?" Kat asked carefully as she sat down. Buffy always took it to heart when she couldn't get to someone in time but her frown was even deeper than usual.

"One of John's friends, Noah. It wasn't a normal vamp kill though," Buffy said softly. Kat blinked dumbly for a minute as she stared at her. She felt that fear creep up her spine at the mention of his name but the fact he was dead made her feel numb.

"Weird how?" Dawn piped up from across the table. They'd stopped being too careful of what they said around her a long while ago. If she wanted to know something, she'd find it out on her own. It was best just to tell her themselves. Giles sighed as he slid his glasses back on his face.

"He wasn't drained. H-He was with two friends and from what they have said… there were three vampires… a-all in vamp face. They held the two friends back and one of them roughed this Noah up and then snapped his neck. I-It's most unusual... They didn't feed from him. It seemed personal somehow. They even let the other two go after," Giles rambled. Letting his thoughts spew from his mouth. It was unusual and she stared at the table as his words sunk in.

'Wish I coulda snapped his neck.'

'I wish you could have too.'

It couldn't have been Spike. He had that fucking chip in his head and she had no doubt if it had chosen now to malfunction, defending her honour wouldn't have been top of his list. They'd have known by now if that was the case and there were three vamps. Spike didn't exactly have friends. Yet the way he died and who he was, she couldn't think of anything else.

"Why the long faces?" Spike waltzed in from the back where he'd no doubt come from the sewers.

"Oh yay, you're here," Xander mumbled with a roll of his eyes. Spike just smirked as he sauntered over, standing near the table with his arms folded across his chest. Kat was in her own head as she listened to Giles tell Spike what had happened, thinking as a vampire himself he might have some insight on why it had been such an unusual kill. She knew she should have felt something about Noah being dead. Guilt maybe, remorse. But all she felt was relief and a sick satisfaction inside of her that made her feel ill. She watched Spike's face carefully as Giles told him, trying to figure out how it had happened just as he said it. Not when he had his chip and he was still here and not out on a rampage or somewhere else getting his fill of blood.

"Hmm… Dunno, Rupes. Sounds personal. Perhaps he was a wanker and deserved it? Probably pissed off the wrong vampire," Spike said ruefully, a sly smirk painted on his lips. His eyes darted to her then, his blue hues shining with something she didn't know but she couldn't deny it. Spike had a hand in this somehow and she had no idea how or why. Or why she still didn't feel guilty about it knowing the reason he was dead was her.

"Don't be so crass, Spike! A man is dead!" Buffy scowled up at him. Spike was always on a fine line with her. If he was helpful she didn't mind him so much but she never let him forget she didn't like him or what he had done in the past. She would have no qualms about kicking him out.

"Yeah and I'm bettin' no one's gonna bloody cry about it. If vamps don't even want to feed off him, better believe he's vermin," Spike growled as he rolled his eyes. Kat tuned out the small argument between everyone at the table as she looked at Spike confused about everything going on. And before long, people were milling about doing their own thing around the shop while she sat there still dumbfounded. Her eyes watched Spike as he walked towards the back room and she was startled when he looked over his shoulder, eyes locking with hers. With a gesture with his head, he made it clear he wanted her to follow him. She didn't know why she felt nerves bloom in her belly. She gave him a tight nod and her eyes glanced around. Everyone was too busy to even notice her and it wasn't like it was weird for her to go in the back. She worked there. She got up and padded over to the door, opening it and slipping inside.

Spike was standing there, arms over his chest as he leant against a wall.

"How?" was all that came out of her mouth. But she knew she wouldn't need to elaborate because a gut feeling told her that Spike was indeed involved and she had no idea why. A sly grin worked its way onto his face but he didn't move from his casual lean on the wall.

"Got my ways, Kitten," he drawled. She huffed, crossing her own arms over her chest as she leveled her glare at him.

"No, Spike. Really how? Because last I checked you couldn't hurt people and if your chip is malfunctioning then I think we need to know," she said carefully. He rolled his eyes, pushing himself off the wall and looking right at her.

"Couldn't do it myself, as much as I wanted to. Paid some vamps from the bar to do it," he shrugged like it was the most obvious thing in the world. She blinked dumbly at him, her brain not quite registering that Spike had paid people, monsters, to kill a man.

"Why?" she asked, nothing but confusion all over her face.

He looked somewhat uncomfortable and shifted on his feet, avoiding her eyes now.

"Got my reasons," he shrugged and a furrowed brow.

"Why?" she asked more insistently. She wasn't sure why she needed to know so bad but there was only one reason he would have done it and that was her. And for some reason there was a tugging in her gut that made her ask him. That needed to hear in his own words why a vampire without a soul would do something that wasn't for himself. He heaved a sigh and looked down, pursing his lips before his gaze moved up and locked back on hers.

"M'sorry, alright?" he frowned. Now she was even more confused and she was sure it was all over her face because he seemed to take the cue to elaborate without her asking.

"What I said when we were patrolling. Wasn't right to bring Joyce into it. She was a lovely woman and it was disrespectful of me to say that crap. And it was rot, the bloody lot of it. You said some things that pushed a nerve and I lashed out, and it wasn't fair to you. So this is my way of makin' it up to you," he explained. She expected him to burst out laughing. Tell her it was a joke. But he didn't. He looked nothing but sincere and she found herself speechless for a moment. He looked more uncomfortable with her silence as he shifted on his feet again. She'd never seen him look so human before and it made her feel all kinds of weird.

"Wasn't like you didn't say anything I didn't already know," she mumbled quietly. She knew he'd hear her as clear as can be with his vamp hearing though. One of her favorite pastimes was whispering insults to him so only he would hear and he'd look like the ass when he yelled at her. To others, it looked uncalled for. He frowned then, shaking his head as he took a step forward.

"Look, me and you, we trade verbal blows all the time. What we do, innit? But there's always been a line and I bloody well crossed it. I shouldn't have. I'm evil, yeah? I've always fought hard with words, more so now I can't use my bloody fists. I knew what shit went on in that pretty little head of yours and I used it against you to hurt you. Wasn't true. None of it was. I knew just what to say to upset you, didn't say it cause I meant it. Joyce would be damn proud of you with all you do for everyone. You're the most selfless one out of the lot of them," he muttered. She knew it was a lie. She was selfish. She knew she was. Especially after Joyce died. But she couldn't figure out why he felt so bad to lie to her. And to kill a man for her.

"What were the other reasons?" she asked softly. He blinked at her, straightening up a little as he cleared his throat.

"What?" he asked quickly.

"You said reasons, plural. What else made you get him killed?" she asked curiously. She was well aware this was probably the longest they'd spoken in a civil way. More so than on the porch that night. She hadn't raised her voice to him and called him any names. It was really weird. He wiped a hand over his face, eyes darting around like he didn't know how to answer her.

"Spike?" her voice was a little harsher this time. When had the vamp ever minced his words? He seemed so awkward right now and it was worrying her.

"I didn't bloody like it, okay?" he snapped, eyes ablaze as he stared at her. The sudden change in his demeanor and voice startled her and she flinched slightly.

"What?" she asked, confused. He heaved a deep sigh and shook his head, pacing a little.

"That wanker had his hands all over you, like he had any right to bloody touch you. Soddin' hurt you, bruised you up, scared the shit out o' you. Enough that you aren't even bloody sleepin'," he sent her a pointed look then and her mouth floundered that he'd noticed.

"Yeah, I know. Just cause them nim wits out there haven't bloody noticed or buy those fake smiles don't mean I have. You look like a buggerin' raccoon with those dark circles and jump at the smallest noise. And that bloody smile, it doesn't reach your eyes," he huffed, like it had personally offended him she wasn't able to sleep or was pretending to be okay. And it unsettled her how easily he had noticed. Not when her own family, the people she lived with, hadn't.

"I... uh…" she fumbled over her words. Her brain was still trying to digest everything.

"I had a debt to fulfill, alright? Was a dick about the Joyce thing and after what he did to you and how bad it affected you, figured it was a good way to say sorry," he sighed, looking somewhat sheepish. He had this look in his eye, it reminded her of when a cat brings home a dead bird or rat for its owner as a gift and expects head rubs for it. She wondered if it was a vampire thing. Killing someone as a gesture of some sort. 'Sorry, here's a body. Please forgive me?'

"Say sorry by… killing a man…?" she asked dumbly. He frowned then, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he looked at her.

"Was it… was it not enough? I mean if you wanna write a list of anyone that's crossed you, I can take out some mo-" he started rambling but she held her hands up, making him stop mid-rant. Now he was offering to get more people killed because he thought one wasn't enough? Did she wake up in opposite world today?

She rubbed her temples as she tried to get her racing thoughts under wraps so she could actually deal with this. It wasn't one of those issues that she could sweep under the rug. Not when she was here in front of him being all kinds of confused.

"One is… that's enough," she murmured. Not knowing what to say.

"Oh… good then. Should be able to get some kip now he's gone. Stop lookin' over your shoulder and actin' so skittish," he said casually. Her feelings were confusing. Because she knew logically she should have felt guilt it was her fault a man was dead. No doubt fueled by her comment to Spike after he said he wished he could break Noah's neck. But she didn't feel any guilt at all. She felt relieved that he wouldn't be able to hurt anyone again because she knew he'd do it to someone else. He probably already had. And she had a sinking feeling she was lucky compared to the others. Spike had done the world a favor by getting rid of him. But she knew that was wrong. Knew if this was Buffy in her shoes or anyone else they'd condemn him for it. Maybe even stake him. But she couldn't fault him. Not when he'd done as she said she wished he could. Not when he'd done it because of what he had done and how it had upset her.

He wasn't wrong. She flinched at any loud noise, constantly looked over her shoulder like she thought Noah might materialize out of thin air and grab her when Spike wasn't here to save her this time. And now he was gone. He wasn't there anymore and she felt the crushing weight that had set on her chest since it happened disappear as if it was never there. And it made her feel sick that she was happy he had done it.

"Careful, Spike. Anyone would think you actually care about me," she snorted with a wry grin. The atmosphere felt too heavy in here and her feelings were too jarring. So she defaulted to her usual humor. He scoffed and gave her a look before standing up straight again.

"Yeah right. You'd be so bloody lucky," he smirked at her. There was a weird awkward moment of silence where none of them seemed to know what to say and Spike seemingly decided nothing was best as he walked past her to the door.

"Spike?" she called out as his hand reached for the handle. He looked over his shoulder at her looking curious and somewhat shy which floored her.

"Thank you," she said with nothing but sincerity. Her eyes and voice carried the weight of it to him perfectly. Because she meant every word. Maybe she shouldn't and the shock on his face told her he hadn't expected her to be so okay with him doing it. Maybe expected an ear full or a lecture or her ratting him out. But she didn't want any of those things. All she wanted was to thank him. A smile spread across his face then and it was one she never really saw. Not a dark smirk or a cocky grin. An actual small smile as he gave her a nod.

"S'nothin'. You uh… let me know if any other wankers give you a hard time, yeah?" he replied quietly. She felt a warmth spread through her entire body at his words and was sure she probably blushed. But this time he didn't comment on it. The fact he was offering his protection, for the fact it seemed like despite everything he did care. Even if just a little. It made her feel hot on the inside and a weird pang hit her in her chest.

She nodded, not able to find the words and not even knowing what to say. With one more nod at her and a lingering look, he left the room and she sagged back against the wall.

"Oh shit. What is even happening?" she groaned to herself. She ran a hand through her hair trying to collect herself. There was so much to digest with everything he had told her and she wasn't sure where to start with it all. From him out of everyone being the only one to recognise she wasn't doing okay, to him actually feeling guilt for something, to making it up to her by offing the man who had terrified her and almost raped her. Her head was spinning and she wanted to stay in the back room hidden for the rest of the night but she knew she couldn't. She had to come out sometime. When she finally did, her eyes found themselves scanning the room and she felt disappointment settle like a stone in her stomach. Spike was gone now. Had he only come here to talk to her about it? She had no idea. One thing she knew though. She had no idea how things were supposed to go back to how they were after this. Everything that was once black and white seemed to bleed into different shades of gray. And she knew that Spike was the one to open her eyes and show her that things aren't really what she thought they were.