A/N: Bonus points for anyone who knows what the song is in this one ;)
Also, I know I said I was uploading one chapter a day, but I'm impatient and I really just wanna get this out there so I'll be uploading two a day instead loooool
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Wet. So fucking wet and cold. Why was she wet and cold? Kat looked around and noticed she was somehow floating in a body of water. She was wearing a long white dress that seemed to billow and float in the water in an ethereal way. She was confused. She looked around and noticed both the sun and the moon in the sky, the sky itself being blood red. She furrowed her brow as her eyes flit around trying to make sense of the scene. It was apparent she was dreaming but she'd never had a dream like this before. And she had never been aware she was dreaming while in a dream. She noticed some land ahead and swam over, climbing out of the cold water and onto vibrant green grass. She shivered, the thin dress clinging to her form as she looked around. The red dye from her wet hair started dripping in rivulets down her skin and staining the white fabric like blood. There was nothing around her but more and more grass and a giant tree up ahead. It seemed to be never-ending. She glanced up at the crimson sky and frowned deeper as things started falling from the sky. She had no idea what they were until a few landed on the floor. It was raining tarot cards, literally. It seemed to go on forever but then it ended abruptly. She jumped about a foot in the air when a lightning bolt shot down at the tree ahead of her and the thunder seemed to resonate deep in her bones. When she glanced back down at the floor littered with cards, she noticed all of them were face down except for three. She knew it meant something. She couldn't tell how but she just knew.
She bent down and grabbed them one by one looking at them. The Lovers, The Two of Cups and The Tower. She blinked dumbly at them, she didn't know much about tarot and didn't know what they meant. The Lovers was clearly something love related but she had no idea what or why she was dreaming this. She stood back up with the cards in hand as she glared at them, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. She heard a noise and her head snapped up, seeing Spike standing a few feet in front of her. She jerked as she looked at him and he was staring at her with his piercing blue eyes. His usual duster wasn't on which was weird enough on its own. The rest of his ensemble was normal. His jeans, boots and a black tee. He was just watching her for a moment and she took a small step forward, gravitating towards what was familiar in a strange situation.
"Spike?" she asked softly. Her voice sounded small to her own ears and she hated how unsure she sounded. He opened his mouth and she was almost ready for some sort of sarcastic response because that's what she was used to. She hardly expected him to start singing.
"She comes home to me after a hard night's work. Falls in my arms and sleeps like a bird. Startles, wakes up, like she don't know me. Cocks back her fist like she's going to slug me. Like, who are you anyway? And what are you doing to me?'' His voice was smooth like velvet and she didn't know why she was so surprised he had a good voice, but she was. He was watching her intently with soft eyes as he sang. Her feet were rooted on the ground and he took a step towards her.
"She's an angel, but she can't see it. She's got wings, but she can't feel 'em. She's an angel, but she can't see it. But she's flying above me every day. Every day of my life," he continued. His words stunned her and she had no idea what relevance this song had and why the fuck she was dreaming of Spike singing to her. She idly wondered if she was going insane.
"Bright diamond eyes with daggers beneath them. She carries the chains of a million decisions, that weren't even hers to begin with anyway. But she carries them all, all the people around her. You never even notice that she's very very tired," he sang softly, taking another step towards her and closing the gap. They were now standing face to face and all she could do was blink up at him, shocked by everything that was going on. She tried to think of his words, what they would mean. What her brain was trying to tell her. He grasped her small hands in his own and she looked down at their joined hands.
"Spike, what's-" she started to ask, even if this was dream Spike and not real Spike, but he interrupted by singing the chorus one last time.
When he was done he was just looking down at her as she blinked dumbly. She had no idea what to say and she hoped she remembered all this so she could dissect it when she woke. She had no idea what most of the symbolism in her dream meant, but she figured the Spike thing was due to how things had shifted between them.
"You can count on me, Kitten," he murmured softly. She was officially speechless. What in the ever-loving fuck was this dream?
"I… uh… okay?" she said warily, not knowing what else to say to this fake and very inaccurate Spike her mind decided to conjure up.
"Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny," he replied seriously. She quirked a brow, her hands still in his as she looked up at him.
"Didn't CS Lewis say that?" she asked, slightly amused. His lips twitched up into a smirk that was at least somewhat familiar on the weird-ass upwards vamp.
"Always such a clever little kitty," he smiled fondly. It made her stomach do weird things and it confused her.
His smile seemed to melt off his face then and a deep frown etched onto it. His hands tightened around hers and he glanced up at the blood-red sky. She followed his gaze and saw the sun and moon moving towards each other. When she looked back at Spike she jumped a little to find him already looking at her with his bright blue hues.
"Storms make trees take deeper root, pet," he said softly. She was pretty sure Dolly Parton said that and she almost snorted at how he was spouting out quotes like some sort of proverb book. She didn't laugh though because his face was serious and his voice was grave. And despite all the weird things going on, his words sent a chill down her spine.
"Spike, what's coming for me?" she whispered. His words were pretty clear. Something was coming her way. Something hard she would have to deal with and she didn't like the sound of it. She wondered just when she started getting weird-ass dreams that warned her of things.
He gave her a small sad smile and shook his head.
"Whatever happens, I'm here, Kitten. Don't forget that, yeah?" he looked at her imploringly and she furrowed her brow. He let go of her hands then and took a few steps back. She watched him a little confused and opened her mouth about to ask him what was going on. She was interrupted by the sun suddenly shining brightly, the sky shifting from red to normal blue, if not brighter. Spike held his arms out wide with a grin as he started burning.
"Spike!" she yelled, mortified as he caught fire. She ran to him but it was too late. He was a pile of dust and she felt her heart constrict tightly in her chest.
She woke with a jolt, sitting upright as her chest heaved. She still felt the lingering emotion of Spike dying right in front of her and it took her a moment to get her bearings. She was in her room. The dream had been a wild trip and she vowed not to eat ice cream before bed again. She felt sick and her heart was going a million miles a minute. She glanced at her clock and she hopped out of bed when she realized she would be late for work. She knew Giles wouldn't really be mad at her but she hated disappointing the man in any way. She decided to stuff the dream in a box and deal with it another time. She was beginning to really think she had a problem with her ability to deal with things. She got dressed, hastily grabbing a dress and her boots. Slinging on her leather jacket before she swiftly left. She would have to eat later, she wouldn't have time or she'd be even later.
Giles wasn't too upset. She told him she overslept and how she hadn't slept much recently and he seemed to sympathize. But then she got a lecture about how she needed to sort her sleeping schedule out before it became bad for her health. She couldn't find it in herself to be upset with his rant, given the fact he clearly cared about her. The day seemed to drag and it felt like Spike's singing was on a loop in her brain. Like it had recorded it and was just playing on repeat. The words made her feel all kinds of weird but his voice was so soothing to listen to. She wondered if he actually sang at all in real life or if her brain had made it all up. Maybe he was tone-deaf in the real world.
She was reorganizing one of the shelves to make it look more appealing to customers when she spied a pack of tarot cards. The imagery was pretty and she remembered the three cards from her dreams. She grabbed the box and examined it before opening it. There was a little booklet in there with the cards and she was currently alone, Giles heading out to collect an order from a local supplier. She decided to get it out, thumbing through the small booklet until she came across the cards that she had seen in her dream. She tried not to think about how these cards seemed to be the exact same ones from her dream and before that she hadn't seen these ones before.
'The Lovers; When it comes to love and relationships, the Lovers card can be a welcome sight to any seeker. The Lovers tarot card signals a wonderful cohesiveness and balance of forces, indicating complimentary energies. This card represents a pair that works well together. On the other hand, because this card also symbolizes choice, and the choice of commitment, it also raises questions of how committed you are to love. This doesn't have to refer exclusively to another person, but can also indicate a choice between love or work, love or family, love or friendship, or even sometimes love and your entire lifestyle. The idea here is that there may be a sacrifice that you must make in order to have this love. In some ways, all commitment is a sacrifice, but one made for the right person can help you grow as an individual. The choices and sacrifices that need to be made can apply to both you, a potential or existing partner.'
Kat quirked her brow as she tried to rack her brain to how this was relevant to her. She wasn't with anyone and there wasn't anyone on the horizon either. She couldn't help but think back to how the sun and moon were both in the sky though, connecting it to the words of balancing forces and complimentary energies. Deciding she would look deeper into that later, she ran through the pages for the next card.
'Two of Cups; To see the Two of Cups is an indication of a partnership that is built on the union of forces, a strong connection and a balanced and equal partnership. The exchange of cups suggests that each party's emotions are intertwined with the other's, and each participant's feelings have profound effects on the other. A strong pair is indicated here, the joy of two becoming one. Attraction and coming together is signaled by the 2 of Cups tarot meaning. This card encourages the beginnings of partnerships of any kind, and the harmony that arises when two people come together to work in unity. This card also suggests a relationship that is mutually beneficial, one where the partners encourage one another to do their very best.'
Was she really just lonely and her brain decided to conjure up some weird romantic thing to make herself feel better? She'd sworn off love after her only relationship left her broken and she had no idea what the cards were telling her. She almost believed that it was just her subconscious telling her she was lonely, because she was deep down even if she tried to act like she didn't miss the feeling of being with someone. But she didn't know tarot or the cards and their meanings. There was no way, even subconsciously, that she would have been able to come up with this on her own. She was starting to feel weirded out as she turned the page and found the last card she remembered.
'The Tower; When the Tower card appears in a Tarot reading, expect the unexpected – massive change, upheaval, destruction and chaos. It may be a divorce, death of a loved one, financial failure, health problems, natural disaster, job loss or any event that shakes you to your core, affecting you spiritually, mentally and physically. There's no escaping it. Change is here to tear things up, create chaos and destroy everything in its path (but trust me, it's for your Highest Good).'
She felt a pit in her stomach reading that and she started to feel her anxiety growing at a rapid rate. Dream Spike's words were pinging around her brain.
"You can count on me, Kitten,"
"Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny,"
"Storms make trees take deeper root, pet,"
"Whatever happens, I'm here, Kitten. Don't forget that, yeah?"
Was it a prophetic dream? If so, how the hell had she managed that one? It seemed too coincidental that The Tower card lined up with what dream Spike had been saying. And that only made her think further into the song he sang her. She had no idea who it was about. She knew it wouldn't be her, she was hardly an angel. Why was Spike in her dream anyway out of all people and why was he telling her he'd be there for her? Her brain was a fried mess and she had no idea how to deal with all of the information now swirling around her brain, let alone what to do with it.
"What you up to?" Spike's voice cut through the silence and startled the shit out of her. She yelped, dropping the pack of cards on the floor and they scattered all over. She chose to ignore how The Lovers was staring up at her from its place on the carpet as she looked at Spike. He looked half amused and half surprised at her reaction.
"You alright, Kitten?" he asked, looking more serious no doubt from the wide-eyed, pale face look she was sporting. She bent down, scooping the cards up and shoving them back in the box.
"I'm fine," she murmured, not too convincingly she had to admit.
She stood up and he was giving her a look. One that told her he wasn't buying it.
"You always seem to know when I'm around, never been able to spook you like that before. Somethin's not right," he frowned, watching her carefully.
"I just… had a… nightmare last night," she shrugged. It was a nightmare but Spike's soothing voice was still floating in her head and she couldn't lie and say it wasn't nice. But now facing the usually abrasive blonde vamp after her dream, after the way he held her hands and looked at her like she was a precious gem he found, well it made her cheeks turn a deep red and he raised a brow at her.
"Riiight," he drawled, once again clearly unconvinced. He seemed to gather the fact she didn't want to talk about it though and thankfully he dropped it.
"Decided to take up the cards then?" he asked curiously as he nodded to the pack she was still clutching.
She glanced at them thoughtfully. It wasn't a bad idea. Her dream meant something and the cards were trying to tell her something. She wondered if she would be any good at reading them. As if Spike could hear her thoughts, which would be embarrassing as all hell, he carried on.
"Think you'd be right good at it honestly. You've always been a bit… sensitive. Think you'd have the knack for it," he shrugged. His offhand kind-of-complement caught her off guard and she blinked at him for a moment before back at the cards.
"I might do. They're kind of… calling to me, I guess," she frowned slightly, not knowing how to explain it without telling him how he serenaded her in her dreams. She didn't think he'd like that too much. He nodded, leaning against the bookshelf, raking his teeth over his bottom lip.
"Worth a go, ain't it? If you're no good then you don't have to carry on," he suggested. It was still strange to her how they could be civil now when just a week ago they'd be at each other's throats if they were alone like this.
"I'll think about it. I don't even have money on me and I'm not asking Giles to let me have them. I'm not sure the others would appreciate it," she sighed.
She knew Willow and Tara did magick but that was different. She wasn't a witch and she had no intentions of being one. She knew tarot wasn't exactly witchcraft but it was linked in a way and she wasn't sure how people would feel about her dabbling with those kinds of things. Everyone always seemed so overprotective of her if she was honest. But maybe it was because they'd seen how fragile she could be. This deck was pretty expensive. She wasn't sure why. She felt it was significant that this was the deck from her dreams, otherwise she'd just buy a cheaper deck they had here. She shook herself out of her thoughts as she put the pack back on the shelf and walked over to the counter, Spike trailing behind her.
"What are you doing here anyway? There's no meeting today," she asked curiously. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and shrugged as he glanced around.
"Just got bored. Thought I'd come bother my favorite girl," he grinned mischievously at her. It was hardly like he'd never said that kind of thing to her before but she felt a flutter in her belly at being called his favorite girl. She mentally chided herself as she knew he was being sarcastic. She decided to banter right back.
"Well, Buffy's out on patrol. Sorry to disappoint," she smirked as she counted the money in the cash register. She wondered if Anya was rubbing off on her.
"I'm offended you think the Slayer is on my list of people I wanna be around. You wound me, Kitty Kat," he huffed playfully, holding a hand over his chest. Her lips twitched up a little.
"And here I was thinking you and Buff were besties," she grinned cheekily at him. He scrunched his face up like someone just asked him to lick a toilet.
"Alright, now you're just bein' plain rude," he glowered. A snort left her lips, she wasn't able to keep it in. His sulky face melted into a slight smile at her.
"You should come to the bar with me. Entertain me for a bit," he suggested casually, like they did it all the time. She raised a brow as she looked at him.
"And why would I do that?" she asked, thoroughly amused. He pursed his lips a little before smirking with a lazy shrug.
"Well, I did kill a man for you. Well… technically it wasn't me, but I paid for it to happen, so it counts as mine," he concluded with a smirk. She rolled her eyes. Like she'd forgotten about that. She tried not to think about it because it reminded her how she hadn't felt bad one bit about what happened to Noah.
"Which you did to say sorry for making me cry," she replied dryly. She was counting the money and missed how he frowned a little at the mention of him making her cry.
"Yeah… well. You should let loose a little anyway. Always workin'. Either here or with Dawn or out on patrol or doin' research. When was the last time you just had some fun?" he asked pointedly.
She felt her cheeks heat up slightly as she realized she couldn't really remember. The last time she was supposed to have a day off was the day she planned with Dawn which ended up with Buffy getting her to cancel and patrol. She didn't want to admit to him she couldn't remember but his smug smirk told her it was all over her face.
"Come on. You'll have fun. Besides, you do owe me a favor," he huffed. She wondered why he was so insistent on her going. She figured she would be the last person he wanted to go to a bar with.
"I'm not sure it's a good idea. The Slayer's cousin walks into a demon bar… it sounds like a setup for a bad joke," she snorted ruefully.
"You'll be with me, you don't have to worry, luv," he said it so sincerely that her heart faltered a little. She was well aware he could take on demons and he was a pretty good fighter, she had to admit. But the fact that demons were the only thing he could hurt now had led to him not being very popular in the community since he went about beating them up like nobody's business. So why did she really want to go? It wasn't like it was the Bronze either. A demon bar wasn't exactly a place she had planned on going. She could only hope humans were welcome there and they served something she could actually drink. She didn't much have a hankering for blood or god knows what else the other demons drank.
"Anya's not here yet to take over the shift," she protested mildly. The grin working its way onto his face told her he was picking up on the fact he was winning her over with this argument.
"So? Just shut up shop for a bit. Not like the others haven't ever done it. You deserve a break, Kitten. Don't have to work yourself to death," he quirked his brow and gave her another pointed look and she blew out a sigh. He was right. And it wasn't like the place was teeming with customers or anything. She doubted anyone would even come in the time between her leaving and Anya coming.
"Fine, I guess. Just don't let me get eaten," she squinted. He gave her a toothy grin and held his hand up.
"Scout's honor, pet," he smirked. She rolled her eyes at him but her lips twitched into a smile anyway.
"You're like the little devil on my shoulder," she huffed with a grin. He smirked, raising a brow looking far too pleased.
"Was that a compliment?" he asked cheekily. She shot him a look and rolled her eyes once more.
"Alright then, let's go," she relented. His smile only widened at her acquiescence and she fought the urge to clip him around the ear as she grabbed her jacket. She had no idea what was in store for her tonight but she would soon find out. It did give her a thrill though and she tried to ignore the feelings she was getting about the fact he had asked her to spend time with him or how she felt excited about being around him outside of the usual meetings they had. Nope. She wouldn't even touch that one. She had enough on her plate right now without thinking of the butterflies. She was just lonely and overwhelmed. That's what it was. It was just nice for someone to look out for her and want her to have a break and have fun. She wasn't Buffy. She wasn't some super girl with powers. She was just a human. A human with baggage and she needed a break every now and again. She just hardly expected Spike to be the one to encourage her to do it.