Chapter 8 Theme Song: Level by The Raconteurs
Seated in the grass away from the house I looked up to the early morning sky. The sun hadn't risen yet (I'd fallen asleep early enough that I'd gotten up around 3:45 AM), so I was still looking forward to when it'd weave its way through the fog. Thankfully the cloud cover wasn't too heavy.
Heidi must have carried me to bed last night from the porch because I'd woken up there. Thankfully she hadn't decided to change me into different clothes. While I still felt anxious when I didn't immediately recognize where I was, it hadn't been as bad as the day before.
Out of all the things I could have first thought of it was the pulsing from my (presumably caffeine withdrawal) headache that I turned my attention to. Maybe this had started sooner but I'd been too stressed to notice. I could deal with hunger headaches well enough, but these were worse. Tylenol didn't do shit to them. Taking a moment to stretch (sleeping in jeans was not something I wanted to do again) I then went down to the kitchen.
It took a second to find light switches along the way, but I got there without falling over, only to discover no sign of anything coffee-related in the kitchen. Evidently vampires didn't need it to function. Grumbling I decided to go out onto the porch. I'd still not seen Heidi anywhere and that was the only other room I knew of was the fireside room, and I was not setting foot near a fireplace.
I chose to stand by a window this time while I looked out at nothing in particular. Maybe there was a coffee shop near here, wherever this house was. I frowned as I realized that I was possibly in the middle of nowhere while definitely sharing a house with a vampire. Granted the scenery was wonderful, the house was better than anything I'd seen in town, and Heidi had some sort of hold on me that I clung to. Still though.
Turning around to see about looking through the cupboards for coffee again I saw Heidi standing in the porch doorway watching me. "Jesus!" I yelled out, jumping in the air. She smirked briefly before quietly apologizing, "I'm sorry. I was caught up in my own thoughts". Yeah, I bet. I took a few deep breaths with closed eyes, and then answered "No…it's fine. I w-was lost in my own t-too I guess. I'm not normally u-up at this time".
"Yes, it is quite early. I was out feeding and attending to some business, but had I known you would be up I'd have stayed". "O-oh that's…that's fine" I assured her. She wasn't obligated to stick around by any means, although the thought of her leaving me was unsettling. More than the thought of what exactly she meant by "feeding", although I could guess.
My baby's on the level.
I try to read her mind.
"Come. Can I get you anything?", she turned back to the kitchen, and I followed her in. "Well…is t-there any coffee?". She frowned thoughtfully. "No, I'm afraid not. I was neither planning on meeting you at all nor having any humans around when I had this house stocked last. I have certain supplies, such as those you saw in the bathroom, kept for my own enjoyment but very little in the way of human food or drinks. I shall return with coffee for you shortly".
I didn't even bat an eye as she disappeared this time. I wasn't a coffee snob or anything, but I did wonder what she'd get. If it were to the high standards she seemed to have for comfort it'd be splendid, but I'd drink anything she put in front of me if it got rid of this headache.
As she'd promised I only had to sit in the kitchen for 15 minutes before she returned with not only a to-go cup of steaming coffee, but also the supplies needed to make coffee here. Sipping it I found that she'd left it black, but I preferred it that way most of the time. As expected, it was great, and the equipment was high quality too. Where did she find all this at barely 4:00 AM on a weekend morning? Who cares.
"Now. There is still much we have to discuss, and we'll have to plan out for late next week. Even though you were given materials you did not attend the presentation. The essay deadline is this upcoming Wednesday, and I'd like to clarify some details". "Fair enough", I drowsily gave. "I see, however, that you're not yet fully awake. We'll wait until 9:00 AM". This time I just nodded, the coffee now taking most of my focus. She smiled before opening up the boxes with coffee supplies.
She's on the straight and narrow.
I'm guessing all the time.
Sitting by the counter watching her set things up and grind coffee beans in otherwise silence was relaxing. She seemed to be taking her time, even compared to human pace. I was liking these silent times more and more, even if I was a bit more comfortable speaking around her than I'd been. Having spent so long isolated in my own mind, finding someone to share these moments with felt...warm.
After I'd finished my coffee and woken up more I realized that I wanted to take a walk outside. Pleasant company or not, I wasn't used to spending so much time around another person. "Would…would i-it be alright…if I took a w-walk?". "Of course, my dear", there goes my blush, "however, I must insist that you dress warmly. It is far too cold for you to go out in what you have on". With that she retrieved a nice-looking black leather jacket and held it out to me. I was a bit taken aback by the choice, but it looked like it'd do the job.
Putting it on and zipping it up it fit snugly around my figure, but not overly so. Letting out a small laugh I tried to joke with "S-so do I look like Rob H-halford or…uh n-never mind". Humor was not my forte, if that even counted as a joke attempt. I also doubted that vampires were all that interested in heavy metal music, even if I could probably (definitely) give a presentation on how heavy metal had brought occult subject matters a near unprecedented level of mainstream exposure. It'd even have a references section complete with song examples in chronological order, tie-ins with cultural impact, and public responses.
I wonder if her vampire senses could pick up on the fact that I was a complete fucking nerd.
Heidi's eyes seemed to darken slightly as she gave me a once over. "I'll return to some of my business in my office here. Feel free to take a walk, but please be mindful of the time and don't go too far from the house". Nodding I went to put on my shoes and was soon sitting in a spot halfway down the hill that led down to the beach.
I took the time to try and think through just all that had happened. I met a vampire, I'm pretty sure she killed someone, she said I was her mate (we were definitely going to revisit that topic at some point), she brought me to a house by the beach, she showered me with affection, and seemed to hint at things going on behind the scenes at school.
I also found myself quickly wanting to spend more and more time with her. I was hopelessly attention and touch-starved, even though part of me was still yelling at me to run the hell away. Not so much because of the vampiricism or even potential murder, but the fear of rejection. Fear of opening myself up only to find out that she was just like all the others. I shook my head. It was too early in the morning to go down that road, so I returned my focus to the view that lay out in front of me.
But I can't see the road,
If I'm looking at the signs.
Hours later I sat by the window in the bedroom with a cup of now homemade coffee. I'd washed up after my walk and dressed in more of Luther's spare clothes. Maybe the others came over sometime and stayed, or not. I still hadn't asked. Heidi had gotten another chair and we faced each other. "Now, as I explained, the employers who fund these travel scholarships feel a great deal of personal satisfaction from it. You might think of what I do for them as managing logistics. I find individuals or groups that fit what they're looking for, put together the trips, manage financial expenses, and deal with any other issues that may come up along the way. It's like herding cattle sometimes. Now, there's been curiosity in branching out to different groups, and after some research I decided that your school would be an excellent choice".
"My s-school? It…it's awful. Why us?" I just couldn't understand how she'd come to that conclusion. "I'm afraid it's difficult to explain. There're a rather complex series of factors that determine eligibility but suffice it to say your school met all the requirements".
It didn't seem like she was necessarily condescending down to me, but it still bothere-, "You will be going on that trip as well. As I said, we were just going to pick students at random and I've chosen you". Wait what. "O-oh…" It made sense, I guess. I mean I'd been held in the arms of the woman running the whole thing more than once in the past day. At this point it seemed safe to say that she thought of me differently than other applicants. Still, it did seem a little presumptuous.
"I'll take care of any arrangements, including convincing your mother should she have any issues. I understand that your father passed away some years ago?" I froze for a second. "N-no I'll talk t-to her. It'll…be fine". Heidi seemed to not notice my reaction as she'd gone into a sort of "logistics manager" mode jotting down notes faster than I could track. It was actually really cute to watch.
"The entry winners will be announced on Wednesday, and I would like us to meet following your school day on Friday. While the trip itself will not take place until a month from Wednesday we must begin planning. The details with school administrators have been cleared already. I have separate plans for you, and you will need to meet my employers".
I could only nod, not wanting to question her too much. Not sure what else to say I remembered that I couldn't stay here too long. I wasn't sure how long whatever excuse was used to keep me out of school would last. "S-so I guess…I'll go home soon?" I focused on maintaining an even tone of voice. I thought I saw her eyes narrow just a touch, but it was too fast to tell. "Yes. I suppose you should. I hope your mother doesn't mind that you've been out? I'd be happy to accompany you and take care of any questions". "No I-it's fine!" I blurted right back out. I had no idea what would happen if those two met, but I suspected it might get ugly. Maybe I could sneak back in and pretend like nothing had happened. Wouldn't have been the first time I'd come back after a while with no explanations given or even asked for.
I'm carrying a load,
And stepping out of line.
"Well then, I suppose it's already late enough that we should leave". I nodded but just in case I asked, "C-can I change back t-to my own clothes?". "I suppose, although I'd have no problem with you keeping these. You will take the jacket, however". While I appreciated the gesture, wearing a full outfit this expensive looking would raise questions. The jacket by itself I could hide easily enough in my room.
After changing I met Heidi at the entrance by the front door. My nerves were catching up with me, especially at the thought of already leaving her. Would this all have turned out to be a dream? Would she find it all out and leave me? I desperately didn't want her to leave. Avoiding these thoughts as best I could, I pulled up the apathetic mask that had gotten me through countless school days. Thus far it hadn't seemed like I'd fooled Heidi all that well, but maybe if I could get her back into "logistics mode" she wouldn't notice this time.
"Where would you like me to drop you off? Outside your house?" "Uh, n-no…the clearing…w-would be great. So! W-what…about this p-plan?". It worked like a charm, as she once again became lost in thought as she picked me up, took me outside, and sped whatever direction we'd come from. It wasn't until we arrived at the clearing that she spoke.
"I will have to think further on this, but we'll confer on it soon", she looked at me directly, "and in the meantime I will be watching over you. Unnoticed, of course". My eyebrows went up at how direct she was, but it did soothe some of my fears about her leaving. "Okay". I did start to wonder, though, about how I might navigate around It and the rest of the town. If Heidi found out more about everything…well, I didn't think it'd go over all that well.
My baby's on the level,
I try to read her mind.
With a last smile, and brief hug, she departed. I stood for a while before looking around for the path out of here. I noticed that where I had first seen Heidi here there were now flies buzzing around, and an awful smell drifted over here. I wasn't going to go over there.
She's on the straight and narrow,
I'm guessing all the time.
It didn't take too long to find my way back, and I stopped to take a deep breathe before walking into the backyard. "You can do this. You can do this". With my eyes straight ahead, I quickened my pace up to the back door. Walking in I at least didn't hear the television on, which was a good sign. Most of the time when It was around outside of the bedroom she was watching it. Rushing up the stairs I went to my room, and when I'd finally closed the door behind me I felt my emotions knock the wind out of me.
Here I was. Back again. In the room where everything had started. I wrapped my arms around my waist when I saw the leftover cans and empty glass laying on the floor. I stayed away from the travel mug in case it still smelled like whiskey, although I had mixed feelings about alcohol. The euphoria had left an itch on my brain that I wanted to scratch again, especially now that I was back behind these walls. It'd all fallen apart afterwards, but for that brief time beforehand I was on top of the world. However, booze was also a thread running through my family history, a legacy I wanted nothing to do with. I certainly didn't want to take the chance of Heidi seeing me drunk.
Opening the window to air out the smell of the two day old near-corpse I'd been the chilly air did clear my head somewhat. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. I could do this. Looking at the time I saw that it was now early afternoon, so if It was doing a double-shift I'd be alone for most of the day. Fine by me.
I spent the rest of the afternoon giving my room a deep clean to keep me busy (holding my breath around the travel mug that I threw away). I had to take a lot of breaks to do my breathing exercises for my anxiety, but eventually I was done. I heard the front door open and close, but I had no desire to deal with that situation. No attempt was made to come find me, even after I took a shower, and the old pipes must have made my presence known. Again, fine by me.
Skipping dinner (Heidi had insisted on making me eat eggs, fruit, and an English muffin for breakfast, instead of just coffee), I spent a few hours laying on my bed lost in my head. I eventually closed the window most of the way and got underneath my blankets.
Oh well I can't see the road,
If I'm looking at the signs.
My life had changed forever. That much was clear. How this was all going to play out was still a mystery. Beyond this morning's ponderings, it'd now been decided that I was soon going to visit a city so far away that it might as well have been on another planet. I'd have to deal with being around my classmates, possibly even living in close quarters to them.
I'm carrying a load,
And I'm stepping out of line.
I heard a rustling outside the window. Dismissing it as the wind, I was surprised when I caught the scent of honey and wildflowers. Quickly getting up to see if it was Heidi, I saw nothing outside, but I knew what I had smelled. It seemed that she was keeping to her word, which helped calm my anxiety enough to start drifting off to sleep a little while later.
My baby's on the level.
Chapter Theme Songs Used So Far:
The Passenger – Iggy Pop
Grinnin' In Your Face – Son House
Get It On (Bang a Gong) – T. Rex
Breakdown – Guns N' Roses
Numb - Portishead
Come Away With Me - Norah Jones
Sprained Ankle - Julien Baker
Level - The Raconteurs