A/N: Another two parter! I'm also beginning to post accompanying one-shots with scenes that I feel could be expanded on a bit, or ones where my ideal song wouldn't fit in the context of a full chapter. I posted "The Spirit of Radio" a while back, and am posting "Saturn Return" today as well. This chapter will take place around the time of Blood is the Rose of Mysterious Union, and if you've read both you may notice that some plot details have changed sine I wrote that. Content warnings for violence.

Chapter 14 Theme Songs: Favourite Colour by Carly Rae Jepsen (first half) and Let's Go Crazy by Prince (second half)

I knew that castles were meant to be impressive, but Volterra's rose above all the others I'd ever seen in pictures (and below, I suppose, too seeing as it was largely underground). The jet had landed in the middle of the night, and after a drive Heidi took me down a secret passage on a side street. Through labyrinthian corridors we walked before arriving at a large wooden door.

Heidi smirked at me. "Welcome to my…our home". Still looking all around me I absentmindedly nodded, but all thought about the hallways stopped when I stepped through the doorway.

Hold on now,

This is getting kinda serious.

Here was luxury that surpassed any that I'd seen so far. Furniture of the highest quality, a massive 4-poster bed with black curtains, filled bookshelves lining an entire wall up to the tall ceiling, a fireplace (I didn't even shudder), and ornate wooden desk in one corner were among its contents. There was even a large flatscreen television planted on the wall across from the bed and stereo system with speakers set up all around the room, which surprised me.

"I had it slightly renovated for your arrival, although I wasn't exactly sure what you'd like. There is still plenty of room to adjust it, should you desire. There are doors leading to another bedroom, small kitchen area, as well as separate closets and bathrooms. I know you said you'd like to stay with me, but feel free to use those as you feel comfortable".

I grinned, looked up, and wrapped her in a one-arm hug. "It's…perfect".

This is getting out of control,

Out of control.

She smiled back. "I'm glad to hear you think so. Your things will be brought here shortly, and we'll go out shopping within the next few days. I'd also like to show you around the city. Periodically I'll have some business to take care of for the Volturi, but as part of my adjusted scheduling I'm largely off-duty, you might say. Given our new bond, as well as your imminent turning it's essential that I help you adjust to your life here. Thankfully, Luther has worked for me long enough to take over temporarily in my stead".

That was comforting to know. I'd worried about too much time to myself (thank you attachment issues), but it sounded like the transition wouldn't be too rough. "How l-long are you…off-d-duty?".

"Oh at least the next 50 to 60 years give or take a decade, depending on how well you adjust".

Please don't go, look real close,

Eyes that show kaleidoscopes.

My jaw dropped slightly, and she laughed good-naturedly. "You'll find out soon, my dear, that time passes differently for a vampire. What appears to be a lifetime passes by in no time at all".

Wow. Guess I wouldn't have to worry about too much alone time anytime soon it felt like, despite her clarification.

I stifled a yawn, and with a deliberately slow pace she carried me to the bed. "I'll need to be more mindful of your human needs, so please be patient with me on that".

"Of c-course…and I want to be…m-mindful of yours…as well…S-stay with me?".

When I'm close to you,

We blend into my favourite colour.

I'm bright baby blue, falling into you,

Falling for each other.

"Of course, Violet", and with that we laid down under the silk sheets and she curled around me from behind. I drifted off into a nap with her gorgeous low alto voice humming. She now engaged whatever vocal mechanism allowed for the pitch blending and it was as if an entire choir was serenading me alongside her.

Over the next few weeks I got a bit of a crash course in how to live in a vampire castle, and also with another person (vampire, technically). Initially I wasn't permitted to walk around on my own for my safety, but both a special necklace and set of earrings (having my ears pierced finally felt amazing for my dysphoria, as small a change as it may have been) made it clear to all other vampires my status as Heidi's mate.

She hadn't mentioned what exactly the punishment would be for any vampire who harmed me, but her merciless expression suggested that it'd been enough to put the fear of god in them.

The timeline for me to be turned was three months, allowing a brief time to grow acclimated to my new living situation.

Heidi and I had discussed at length whether I wanted to petition for an extension in order to pursue medical gender transition treatments, but ultimately, I decided not to.

As Heidi had helped me become more comfortable with things like affirming clothing, and even researching how I might practice modulating my voice I started to notice an effect on my gender dysphoria. I also started to practice things like shaving my legs and wearing makeup, which further helped.

When I'm close to you,

We blend into my favourite colour.

The turning process would also affect my physical appearance, as it turned both males and females into what would clearly be described as objectively beautiful. I didn't want to rely too much on hoping for any sort of specific change, but I'd welcome any that it brought.

I knew to expect pain beyond anything I could imagine, and as terrifying as that made me I kept re-directing myself to focus on the end-goal. I severely doubted that it'd make the turning less agonizing, but it did help regulate my emotions.

In the end I felt that all things considered I didn't want to go down the medical route. It wasn't where my instincts were leading me, and I also didn't feel that trying my luck with the Volturi would go anywhere. For a time I fretted over whether this made me "less trans" or that'd it make my identity less valid, but Heidi pointed out that who I was at my core was inherent, and not based on my physical appearance or outward characteristics.

No two trans experiences were the same and for others it undoubtedly was a part of them becoming their most authentic self, but I felt myself led elsewhere.

Heidi and I actually had our first argument (over where to put the coffee maker in the kitchenette of all the ridiculous things), but it was soon resolved. Just because we were mates didn't mean that we were suddenly immune to arguments. It'd been the day after we'd sat down to read my essay, and emotions were still running high. However, her diplomatic prowess and my weak temper never sticking around for long thankfully didn't provide the groundwork for a conflict-driven living arrangement, even though neither of us had ever lived with anyone else.

One thing we decided upon early was that we'd always make an effort to communicate with each other about our wants and needs. I knew what it was like to live in a volatile, tense household with little to no communication and I had zero desire to recreate that environment. Heidi's maturity and patience in guiding me through articulating myself helped me start to come into my own more as an adult.

In turn, my sensitivity and willingness to listen helped her begin to open up about herself. I learned about how she'd been turned hundreds of years ago, her traumatic experiences with her past coven and younger brother, and why she used an oftentimes cold exterior (figuratively, in this instance) to shield herself from others. There were some days where we did little more than sit around the apartment, I guess you could call it, and talk.

I'm bright baby blue, falling into you,

Falling for each other.

Ever since the jet ride to Italy (never thought I'd say that in my life) we also continued to explore the physical aspects of our relationship. I'd even officially asked her to be my girlfriend (she chuckled at the formality of it, and then said yes in a rather unambiguous, wordless manner).

I never bothered with the separate living quarters, other than to occasionally look in there for extra blankets and explore a bit.

Should I stay?

Making love until the morning light.

Making out like it's the end of the world,

And I really want to get it right.

The most intimate we'd gotten was bathing together in the incredibly large shower. The first time had taken over an hour because I kept needing to close my eyes and calm myself down, Heidi holding me against her.

Despite the panic of her seeing my body I knew I wanted this, and I refused to let my dysphoria keep me from it. She repeatedly insisted that she found me beautiful, and while it'd take a long time before I fully believed it myself I'd gotten more comfortable.

Washing each other, taking our time to savor each moment felt every bit as intimate as our times spent kissing on the couch while ignoring movies playing on the television. I enjoyed slowly lathering wildflower-scented soap (my favorite kind for her) on her, massaging it in circles to the sound of her purring. She tended to respond by gently pushing me up against the wall when I was done and holding my arms at my sides while softly making a trail of kisses around my upper body.

But it's getting hard to slow down,

Got me feeling like it's real for sure.

This is getting kinda out of my head,

Out of my head.

Both of our bodies clearly reacted in noticeable ways during these times, and day by day we began to explore those parts of ourselves too, although we hadn't had sex yet. We established clear boundaries, and even if they were sometimes pushed they weren't broken.

We'd even spend time in there just holding each other under the hot water after we were done bathing, relishing the simple but sensual pleasure of feeling each other's skin. Her cold temperature never bothered me, especially when heated by the shower.

At the end of the day there were ups and downs, but I was feeling like I'd found a partner to navigate them with. A companion with whom I was safe, and whom I wanted to give that same feeling of safety to.

Paint me up, me up, me up.

You're my favourite colour.

Just after a month of living together was the first formal Volturi feeding that I was around for. I surprised Heidi when I said I wanted to attend.

Dearly beloved,

We are gathered here today to celebrate this thing called life.

"Could I…c-come with?". Her eyebrows raised at me, "Well…it is something that you should become familiar with, but why would you want to?".

But I'm here to tell you there's something else…

The afterworld.

A world of never-ending happiness,

You can always see the sun, day or night.

"If I'm t-to be…a part of y-your life…here and…be t-turned…then I want to". As scary as it sounded I wanted to be a part of it, to begin to see the world as vampires did. To see humans as vampires did.

"…Very well. I shall inform the Volturi that you'll be there. There are a few things that are non-negotiable. One is you will wear both a particular robe and another necklace clearly signifying your position as my mate to all other vampires present. The necklace is imbued with a warning scent, of sorts. Two is you will do exactly as I say when I say it. Inherently your safety will be at risk, so if I tell you that we're leaving there will be no argument."

Cause in this life,

Things are much harder than in the afterworld.

This life you're on your own.

I nodded, not intending to go against any of her rules.

Soon thereafter was the evening of the feast and I sat to the side of the Volturi throne room with Heidi standing at my side, one hand on my shoulder. I was dressed exactly as she specified, and she too wore a robe of the same color. Her tight black shirt and slacks underneath the open robe managed to show off her physique in a way that I couldn't help but stare at more than once.

Her ruthlessness also on full display she gave a ferocious snarl at any other vampire who even looked at me. Aro found this incredibly amusing, and even ordered a few to look my way more than once for the entertainment. Heidi's eyes would twitch when he did this, so I figured he also got a kick out of irritating her.

Both her possessiveness and protective streak made me want to drag her back to our living quarters, but I restrained myself.

If you don't like,

This world you're living in.

Take a look around you,

At least you've got friends.

Luther eventually walked in with a group of tourists far older than I, and I saw what Heidi had meant by my former classmates and I being a different demographic. They looked around in amazement, but slowly growing confusion at everyone present and I couldn't help but feel a slight bit of pity. Oh well.

Are we gonna let the elevator bring us down?

Aro stood up. "Greetings, everyone! We are so glad you could join us for dinner tonight", their confusion grew as they was no evidence of even a table set up for food; his penchant for drama was really something else, "On behalf of those dining tonight I thank you for your contributions to the meal, unintentional as they may be. Now without any further delay…dig in".

Oh no, let's go.

There were only a few bodies on the floor before the screaming started, Aro, Marcus, and Caius taking down the first few slowly enough for the rest to realize what was going to happen. By now all of the doors were closed and locked, but that didn't stop a few from running to them; clawing and screaming to be let out.

Let's go crazy,

Let's get nuts.

One of the more dramatic portions of the evening was when one vampire, surprisingly not Aro, jumped high into the air with a human and in short order dismembered them; spraying blood down on those below and heightening the bloodlust frenzy. I grimaced at the wanton display, but it wasn't like I was going to go and try to intervene.

We're all excited,

We don't know why.

Maybe it's cuz,

We're all gonna die.

Throats were ripped out, turning screams into sickening gurgles. The mass sound of vampires sucking the blood of their victims was not one I needed to think about too much, so I focused in on Heidi. She fed just as viciously as the others, but periodically I saw that looked back to me to check that I was okay. I smiled back and awkwardly waved, not really knowing what else to do.

I could have sworn she rolled her eyes and grinned at the movement, but soon she was back to finishing off an old man as he tried to crawl away from the massacre. A few vampires hazarded a look at me during everything, but between my outfit, Heidi's display beforehand, and whatever rules governed them they kept away a great distance.

Somehow a human managed to make his way towards me. I'd been sternly instructed not to move from my seat by Heidi, so I allowed him almost close enough to grab me. His eyes were wild with terror and he'd been covered in blood.

"Please, oh god! Please help! What are you doing?! Fuck! Help me, dammit!"

You better live now,

Before the grim reaper comes knocking at your door.

With a blur of movement Heidi crouched in front of me, snarling at the man. She'd told me a while back that, while blood attracted vampires much like sharks in the water, my scent called out to her above all else. Presumably she'd noticed the man's scent begin to affect mine by his proximity.

"Mine!", she roared, the man falling over in shock.

Oh no, let's go.

Go crazy.

With brutal efficiency the man's femurs were the first things broken, followed by his arms. It was difficult to tell how she continued given her speed but based on the noises coming from him it got far worse from then on. I heard a crunch as she slammed her foot on his back.

At this point it was an act of mercy to kill him, as the blood loss and hypovolemic shock would have finished him off.

As expected his carcass soon lay unmoving with its vasculature drained of its contents. Heidi was back in front of me, her eyes and hands combing over me to ensure that I'd not been injured. I smiled at her concern, and once she was satisfied that the man hadn't hurt me she pressed her lips to my forehead and growled affectionately. With that, she sped back into the fray.

After that it wasn't too long before the whole thing was over, all the humans' lifeblood consumed (or at least as much of it as possible, given some of the more dramatic showings of bloodlust). The mess was already being cleaned up by some of the workers, and Aro surprisingly made it towards me before Heidi did. He was, of course, covered in blood and had that fascinated look on his face he'd had back in Stockholm.

I stared back with as neutral a face as I could make, even at his crimson smile. "Oh yes, you are a curious one. I venture to say that I may even like you, once you're turned of course human."

I've no idea how or even why, but I even smiled back, his eyes widening for an instant in surprise. "I…l-look forward to it…s-sir". He threw his head back in laughed, and I actually felt a bit pleased at having impressed him.

"I'll see you again human once your deadline has passed. I believe I'll schedule the next feeding soon after, as I'm rather excited to see you wreaking havoc as a newborn". I nodded in response.

His grin wide he walked off. Heidi came to me. Her eyebrows were raised slightly, clearly having seen and heard my interaction with Aro, but I shrugged. I wasn't sure what to say about it.

She gave a short laugh, picked me up, and soon we were back to our apartment, showering and settling in for the night, a BBC nature documentary playing on the television. Although initially she'd largely been disinterested in them, I'd slowly converted Heidi to documentaries through sheer exposure.

In return, she'd introduced me to her love of architecture and art history. I still felt confused by many of the terms but examining the progression of different styles as time had passed in both fields was beginning to draw me deeply. They were not unlike musical genres, with their intricate designs and connections to both culture and history.

Not fully rattled, but still understandably disquieted by the experience I clung to her a little tighter than usual. As the initial shock had worn off I'd begun to shake a little.

"I figured that you might have a difficult time with the feeding. Would you like to talk about it, Violet?".

"It w-wasn't…too bad. L-like I've s-said…I'm fine with…it. Still…a l-little intense. N-next…one will b-be…easier", I murmured into her shoulder. Heidi nodded and nuzzled my hair.

Soon I was falling asleep, Heidi's embrace (and David Attenborough's voice a distant second in significance) enveloping me.

Take me away.

Chapter Theme Songs Used So Far:

The Passenger – Iggy Pop

Grinnin' In Your Face – Son House

Get It On (Bang a Gong) – T. Rex

Breakdown – Guns N' Roses

Numb - Portishead

Come Away With Me - Norah Jones

Sprained Ankle - Julien Baker

Level - The Raconteurs

Columbia - Oasis

Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon (&) Storm Comin' - The Wailin' Jennys

Doctor My Eyes - Jackson Browne

Sympathy for the Devil - The Rolling Stones

Superunknown - Soundgarden

Favourite Colour - Carly Rae Jepsen (&) Let's Go Crazy - Prince