A/N: So this one wasn't going to be a chapter. I was going to just mention that this happened in the next one, but I decided to write it up and keep it as a chapter. It's some Kat and Angel bonding, which is needed 'cause they aren't that close and it comes into play in later chapters. Keep in mind that this story has mega AU elements so don't come at me saying this isn't how it went down in the show lmao
Kat double checked her packed bag as Spike hovered in her bedroom doorway. It came up in a Scooby meeting the night before that Angel hadn't been told about Buffy's death. Everyone had been dealing with their own grief and with the Buffy bot out and about, it wasn't like there was talk of the Slayer dying to get back to him. Kat didn't think it was fair to find out some other way, so she volunteered to go. She remembered the conversation at the magic shop the night before.
"I'll go, I can leave tomorrow," Willow murmured. The air was somber around the table. It seemed to be like that permanently since Buffy died. It only got worse when Giles mentioned that Angel had no idea.
"No, I'll do it," Kat spoke up firmly. All eyes turned to her then.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Xander asked softly.
"What he said," Spike muttered as he nodded his head in Xander's direction. He didn't look happy with the idea at all.
"I'm Buffy's family, I think it'd be better coming from me," Kat explained. She and Angel hadn't really been close. It had been exceptionally hard after the whole Angelus bullshit that had gone down. She felt bad for him though. She knew the pain of losing Buffy and she knew he'd take it hard.
"I'll come with, then," Spike said firmly, a petulant tone to his voice.
"No," Kat argued, shooting him a pointed look.
"No? Bloody no? You think I'm goin' to let you prance off to LA to see the great poof all on your own? You must be off your bloody rocker," he glared.
"I'm going to tell him the love of his life is dead. I really don't think having you there is going to help, with you being a menace to him and all… no offense," she added the last part quickly and gave him a sheepish look.
"None taken," he huffed, folding his arms over his chest.
"Look… this is a delicate matter. I just think it should be me, okay?" She asked softly. Her blue eyes were imploring him not to fight her on this. He looked at her for a long moment before he let out a drawn out sigh.
"Fine. Let it be known I'm not soddin' happy about it though," he bit out. She gave him a grateful smile and nodded. His glare seemed to melt as she did.
She swung her backpack over her shoulder and turned to Spike. She knew he wanted to protest her going alone some more but she was grateful he kept his mouth shut. She was still feeling rather fragile herself and she was sure he was aware of it.
"You got everythin', pet?" He asked quietly. She nodded as she made her way over.
"Yep. I'll only be gone a few days, and I have my cell if you need to contact me for anything. Dawn is-" she started, a worried frown on her face.
"The Bit is and will be fine. Told you, don't have to worry. I'll take care of her when you're gone," he assured, tucking her hair behind her ear. She relaxed a little and shot him a smile.
"I know. Thank you," she said softly.
"Right then. Let's get you to the bus station," he sighed. He was walking her there since he hated her walking anywhere alone. He'd made sure she packed weapons with her. She had a stake in the inside pocket of her leather jacket and a knife tucked in her boot.
When they got to the bus shelter, he seemed to linger like he didn't want to leave her. She turned to give him a hug, trying to convey without words how much she appreciated him. He'd been her rock through his whole ordeal and she didn't think she'd ever have the words to tell him that. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close for a long moment.
"Stay safe, Kitten," he murmured into her hair. She smiled against his chest before she moved away.
"Aren't I always?" She asked with a wry smile. He gave her a deadpan look and she knew he was probably making a mental list of all the times she'd put herself in danger.
"I'll see you when I get back," she smiled. He nodded, still looking not too happy about it all.
"I'll be seein' you, luv," he muttered before he turned back the way they came. She heaved a sigh before she walked inside the bus station.
The drive to LA seemed to last forever but in reality it was only roughly about 2 hours and 45 minutes. Once she left the bus, she made her way to the Hyperion Hotel. She didn't expect to find it empty.
"Hello?" She called out in the reception area, her voice seemingly bouncing off the walls. There was no answer and she sighed, moving to sit on a couch in the foyer. She felt some kind of loyalty to Buffy to come and tell Angel the news to his face. She could have let Willow come or just told him over the phone. But it didn't feel right. She couldn't do that to Angel and she couldn't do that to Buffy. But now she was here, the dread settled in. It was hard news to take, she knew that herself. Seeing him break down about it wouldn't be pleasant for her. She didn't think Angel was a bad guy, at least with a soul anyway. Buffy and Angel had been star crossed lovers like some kind of warped Romeo and Juliet. While she didn't necessarily not like him, she hadn't really liked their relationship because of the amount of pain it brought Buffy. But part of her always thought that maybe one day they'd get back together. Once fences were mended and bridges were built. That they'd finally be able to be together and be happy. But now Buffy was dead. She was gone and no fences were being mended and no bridges were being built. And Angel had to live with that. She didn't envy him.
She waited for a while before she heard voices from outside making her look up. Angel walked in, a smile on his face as he spoke to the rest of his crew; Wesley, Gunn and Cordelia who was wearing some weird ass outfit.
"What? Cordelia asked, confused as Angel stopped and looked right at Kat. She felt her throat get tight and her eyes sting. Great, she was on the verge of tears already and she hadn't even spoken to him yet.
"It's Buffy," Angel muttered as he looked at Kat, as if he just knew.
"What about her?" Cordelia asked as her eyes landed on Kat. Kat cleared her throat and stood up, her heart hammering hard in her chest. For a brief moment, she wondered why she'd volunteered to do this.
"I… uh… could I speak to Angel a moment? Alone?" Kat asked softly, a tremble in her voice. The others all glanced to each other worriedly but Angel's eyes never left hers. With a murmuring of agreement, the others all scurried off.
"What is it? Is she hurt? Hospital?" Angel asked rapidly as he walked over to her. She felt her lower lip quiver as she looked down, her chest feeling heavier and heavier by the minute.
"She's dead," she whispered brokenly. Angel blinked at her for a moment like the words didn't compute in his brain.
"Dead… she's… dead," Angel muttered to himself. He looked like he might throw up.
"Maybe you should sit down," Kat murmured as she guided him to sit down. She sat opposite and watched him carefully. He looked shocked. She remembered that feeling.
"I… how did it happen?" He asked quietly. He wouldn't look at her, opting instead to stare at his hands. She could see how he was internalizing the pain. She'd hardly expected someone like Angel to burst into tears at the news so she wasn't surprised.
"Glory. She did the ritual and the portal opened. Buffy and Dawn were the only ones up there and Buffy jumped in… to save Dawn," she explained, knowing he knew the deal with Glory and about the whole key and portal thing.
"When?" He asked with a strained voice.
She swallowed thickly as she toyed with her hands.
"About a month ago," she said. He finally looked at her then with a frown on his face.
"A month? She died a month ago and I'm only just hearing about it now?" He asked hotly. She clenched her jaw as she glared at him.
"With all due respect, Angel, we were a little too busy grieving," she hissed, unable to help it. He had the good grace to look guilty as he looked back down.
"We've been dealing with a lot and trying to… help with Dawn. It took me a long time to try and deal with it all. Things weren't good for a while," she explained a little more calmly. He nodded as he ran a hand over his face.
"Right… I'm-I'm sorry," he muttered.
"I know. It's okay. This whole thing is just… a mess," Kat sighed. There was a tense silence that surrounded them for a moment and Kat was unsure what to say.
"Thanks… for coming. I know you never really liked me, so I appreciate it," he murmured softly.
"I do like you," Kat frowned. Angel looked at her with a raised brow and she wrung her hands with a shrug.
"Fine… I had issues, mostly after the whole Angelus thing. It was hard after what happened to Ms Calendar to look at you. But you weren't ever the issue," she sighed. He looked at her curiously so she continued.
"Your relationship with Buffy… it wasn't great, you know that. It was filled with pain and I hated seeing her that way. That was my issue," she admitted. He wiped a hand over his weary face with a nod. He knew better than she did the pain that came with that relationship.
"You're welcome to stay the night, if you want. I don't want you heading back when it's dark," he stated. She nodded, already planning on asking him. Getting the bus and getting back to Sunnydale late wasn't high up on her list of things to do.
That night, she tossed and turned in bed in the room he'd let her stay in. After awkwardly breaking the news to Angel, he'd told everyone else and she'd had to endure all the condolences. Even Cordelia seemed sad about it. She'd always had problems sleeping in a place that wasn't her own bed, the only exception being when she'd stayed over at Spike's. And with the air so heavy here, it was even worse. She huffed, tossing the covers off her as she sat up and got out of bed. She was only in her pajama shorts and vest. She grabbed the blanket from the end of the bed and wrapped it around her shoulders as she left the room. Her feet had a mind of their own and before long she was on the roof. She was startled to see Angel sitting on the edge and when he turned to look at her, he looked surprised too as he quickly wiped his eyes and looked away.
"I'm sorry. I didn't think anyone would be out here," she muttered quickly.
"It's okay," he said after clearing his throat. She hovered at the door for a moment, always weird with situations like this, especially as they weren't exactly close. But after a moment, she moved over to him and sat next to him. They sat in silence for a moment yet it wasn't uncomfortable. She looked out at the view, the city lit up brightly despite the black sky.
"I'm sorry," she murmured after a moment. She really didn't envy him. She'd been through most of her grief at this point but his journey was just beginning. And she knew he was running through all the things he'd wished he'd done or said to Buffy and now it was too late. It would torture him forever, and as a vampire, that was a long ass time. She felt him look at her but she didn't take her eyes off the view. She didn't do good in heavy situations like this.
"I'm sorry too," he replied softly. There was another beat of silence then.
"How's Dawn? Is she… is she okay?" he asked, looking at her once more. She shot him a quick glance as she tucked some of her hair behind her ear.
"Yeah, she's dealing. Better than I did anyway," she muttered.
"I should have been there," he frowned, regret and self loathing coating every word. She turned to look at him more then.
"This isn't on you," she told him firmly. He scoffed and shook his head.
"I could have helped. She might still be…" he trailed off as his voice caught in his throat and she took his hand in both of hers and gave it a squeeze.
"She did it to save Dawn. I don't really think you being there would have changed much. Glory was… she was better prepared than we were and clever. You can't beat yourself up about this," she implored. He looked conflicted, his eyes darting from her to the view of the city.
"I just…" he breathed quietly, squeezing his eyes shut.
"I know. Trust me, I was there this whole month right where you are. But this wasn't on you Angel," she murmured.
They settled into yet even more silence as she held his hand and he gripped hers tightly like he was scared of floating away.
"Buffy really loved you, you know? I really thought you guys were it. Despite everything, I thought one day things would get better and you guys would be able to settle down. And I know… I know it's killing you because you hoped the same and now it's not gonna be like that. But Buffy wouldn't want you drowning in your misery any more than she'd want me to. It hurts like hell and it doesn't really get better, you just get used to it. But we have to live. We have to live because Buffy couldn't," she said fervently. It had taken her a while to have that mindset herself but she believed her words. It would be a smack in the face of Buffy's memory if they were to just roll over and let this grief take them down. Angel looked at her for a moment before a sad smile graced his face.
"She loved you too. She never shut up about you when we met. She always worried about you, always wanted you to be happy. You were a sister to her," he replied softly. She felt a lump lodge in her throat as a watery smile worked its way onto her face.
"She was the strongest, most amazing person I've ever met. She had the weight of the world on her shoulders and carried it with ease. I always looked up to her, wanted to be just like her. I have no idea how she did it. The world didn't deserve her," Kat sniffled, taking one of her hands off Angel's to wipe her eyes quickly.
"No, it didn't," he agreed quietly.
They ended up staying up on the roof all night, retreating inside when the sunlight was becoming a problem for Angel. They'd done nothing but reminisce about Buffy, trading stories of light hearted memories and making each other smile as they thought of her cousin. It was nice. She didn't care about her lack of sleep, she'd be heading home soon anyway and she'd just crash once she got back. It was cathartic to be able to speak to Angel like this. Knowing he loved Buffy as fervently as she did. She hoped it had been helpful for him too. He'd been regretful he wasn't able to take her to the bus shelter, but given the bright daylight, it wasn't exactly wise or a smoking pile of dust would be driving her. She gripped the strap of her backpack as she got to the bottom of the stairs, everyone waiting there for her. Cordelia came straight over and wrapped her arms around her in an unexpected hug.
"Don't be a stranger," she murmured into the hug. Kat smiled a little as she pulled away. Wes came over then, patting her on the shoulder.
"You're welcome here any time," he smiled at her. She'd never liked him much back in Sunnydale but he'd changed it seemed.
"It was good meeting you, I'm sorry we couldn't have met under better circumstances," Gunn said with a nod. She gave him a nod back as Angel walked over to her. The last thing she expected him to do was hug her. It was even more surprising than Cordelia giving her one.
"Stay safe, Kat," he muttered firmly.
"I'll try my best. Trouble always seems to find me though," she snorted wryly. He gave her a smirk as he let her go and she nibbled her lower lip. Goodbyes were weird and not her thing and everyone was looking at her.
"I'll see you guys around," she smiled awkwardly with a nod. They all murmured their goodbyes before she left the hotel.
On the way back to Sunnydale, she hoped Angel would be okay. She doubted speaking to her was enough to stop him feeling the crushing weight of his grief but she hoped she at least helped a little bit. He'd given her his cell number and the number to the hotel and told her to call him if she ever needed anything. It was strange. She'd never gotten on with him before because of how the relationship affected Buffy, but now Buffy was gone and they'd formed a friendship out of the loss. While she still thought he brooded way too much, she didn't really have the same negative feelings towards him that she'd had before. By the time she got home, she was exhausted. Dawn was at school, no doubt herded off by Spike who had been looking after her when she was gone. When she got to her room, the curtains were drawn and Spike was lying on her bed. He sat up when he saw her and she dumped the bag on the floor, kicking off her boots before she flopped on the bed next to him.
"It go alright?" he asked, running a hand through her hair. She knew he'd been unhappy about her visit, mostly because of his rivalry with Angel. But he was refraining from making any quips given the nature of her journey to LA. She was grateful. She nodded with a yawn.
"As good as it could go. I'm tired though. We stayed up talking all night," she muttered with her eyes closed.
"Get some rest, pet," he murmured softly, still stroking her hair and lulling her off to sleep. She vaguely heard him humming something as she drifted off into darkness.