It had been five whole months since Buffy died and although she left a gaping canyon in their lives, they'd settled into a new routine and things were finally starting to heal. The Buffy bot was still being stand in for Buffy so nobody was any wiser and everyone else was picking up the slack. Spike had continued his training with Kat which was helping her with patrolling a lot more. Things with her and Spike were still in that weird gray area, where they knew of each other's feelings but no moves were made. At least not since Kat came onto him that time. Luckily, Spike had seen it for what it was. A desperate attempt to feel something other than pain. She still appreciated that he turned her down. With everything that had happened, she couldn't even think of the terrifying possibility of a relationship right now and Spike thankfully wasn't pushing for anything. So for now they were just friends. Friends that had intense feelings for each other, but friends nonetheless.
She pushed the door open to the Magic Box, ready to start her shift. Giles had been considering leaving back to England but Kat had managed to talk him out of it. She understood he was grief stricken after Buffy's death but they all needed him. He was the closest thing to a dad Kat had. Willow, Tara, Xander, and Anya were all around the table but got quiet as soon as she walked in.
"Gee, guys. Don't go quiet on my account, a girl is gonna get a complex," she snorted, wriggling out of her jacket and tossing it on the counter. When she looked at them though, they all had strange looks on their faces.
"What?" She asked with a frown.
"Nothing. Absolutely not a thing," Xander chuckled awkwardly. It only made her squint at him and he squirmed in his seat.
"Xander… we said we'd ask her," Willow muttered in a hushed voice. Not quiet enough that Kat didn't hear her though.
"Ask me what?" Kat asked suspiciously, glancing at them all around the table. Willow stood up, anxiously tugging at her cardigan as she walked over. It made Kat nervous.
"So… I've been researching and stuff. And you know how my power with the magicks has been getting stronger. So I-I… I thought…" Willow trailed off, giving the others a look like she was asking for help.
"We want to perform a spell to bring Buffy back," Anya stated seriously with a nod. Kat felt like someone threw ice cold water all over her.
"Is this… is this a joke?" Kat asked with a low voice, her thunderous face looking at Willow and then each and every one of them at the table.
"No," Willow whispered softly. Kat scoffed, taking a step back as she gave her an incredulous look.
"Buffy is dead. You can't just… defy the laws of life to bring her back that way!" Kat argued tensely.
"Why not? For all we know Buffy could be stuck in some hell dimension. If we can bring her back then I say, go for it," Xander protested as he stood up.
"Because it doesn't work that way! We saw what happened when Dawn tried to bring Joyce back! What happens if Buffy comes back wrong?!" Kat yelled at them. She couldn't believe they were even entertaining the idea.
"She might not!" Willow argued weakly.
"Right. Might not, really full of confidence right now," Kat snarked harshly.
"The spell… it-it could work! We just need to find the right things and-" Willow started.
"No! Because what if she comes back wrong?! We have to watch her die all over again?! We have to kill her?! Can you deal with that blood on your hands, because I can't!" Kat bellowed as her throat constricted. Even the idea of having Buffy coming back not quite right and them needing to 'deal' with her made her feel sick.
"I know this is hard, I really do. We've been through a lot. But I can't go through that again, I won't let you put Dawn through that again!" She spat vehemently. This wasn't their place to play God. If they'd come to her months ago she might have been on board with the plan out of desperation. But it was wrong. And all this talk of Buffy possibly being in a hell dimension didn't change her mind. She didn't think for one minute Buffy was in some kind of hell, not after all she'd done. The Powers That Be wouldn't allow it.
"It's okay. We won't do it," Willow murmured apologetically.
"Wait… we won't?" Anya asked, confused.
"No, we won't," Willow said firmly as she gave her a look. She turned back to Kat then who looked on the verge of a mental breakdown.
"I'm sorry I brought it up. I'm just… dealing with the grief, I guess," she muttered softly. Kat pursed her lips before she grabbed her jacket.
"Right. I'm taking the day off. Call me if there's an emergency," Kat huffed, not able to even look at them as she left the store, slamming the door behind her. She really couldn't believe they even considered it. In a perfect world, sure they could bring Buffy back. Then again in a perfect world Buffy wouldn't even be dead. But this wasn't a perfect world. It was a world where magic often went wrong, they'd experienced it first hand. She wasn't taking that chance. It would break her.
She didn't even realize where she was headed until she was in front of Spike's crypt. The sun was still high in the sky and she felt a twinge of guilt knowing he'd most likely be asleep. She stood there for a moment before she shook her head, but as she turned to leave, the door opened. Spike was peeking from around the door to hide from the sunlight, his sleepy eyes squinting at her.
"Kat?" He asked, confused.
"Sorry… I didn't mean to wake you, I just…" she frowned, shaking her head. She should have just gone home.
"No, it's fine. Come in," he murmured, opening the door wider for her. She slipped inside and shut the door, watching as he moved to the sofa. He was clad only in boxers that she knew he'd hastily thrown on. When he used to taunt and tease her, he'd made it known he liked to sleep naked. If the circumstances were different, she might have enjoyed the view.
"What's wrong? Shouldn't you be at work?" He asked as she sat down. He sat down next to her, eyeing her suspiciously.
"I was… and then I walked out," she shrugged. He raised a brow giving her a look to continue. She heaved a heavy sigh as she sank further into the sofa.
"The guys casually brought up that they want to do a spell to bring Buffy back," she muttered.
"Bloody hell… Not a good idea, is it? I mean, we saw what happened to Joyce when Nibblet tried to bring her back," Spike frowned.
"That's what I said. I got mad, yelled at them a bit. I told them Buffy would probably come back wrong and then we'd have to kill her. Willow promised me they wouldn't do it," she sighed.
"Magic like that… it always comes at a price. Best left well alone, pet," he said softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulder to comfort her. She leaned into him, laying her head on his bare shoulder.
"I know. I can't even believe they'd mess with something like that. I mean… I'd love Buffy to be back, but life doesn't work that way," she murmured sadly.
"It's for the best, luv," he soothed, making her nod. She didn't like the feelings this whole thing dredged up inside of her. She'd dealt with the loss and was trying to live with it and the guys had ripped open the wound before it had even fully healed. They sat like that for a long while, with her curled into his side. At some point he put on Passions and it helped all of her stress melt away. He had that effect on her. Soothing her from the inside out.
"Wanna stay here tonight? I know the Bit's havin' a sleepover," he asked as his hand toyed with her hair. He'd been quite involved with all things Dawn and he'd even got the girl to start attending school again. She was glad for his help.
"I'd like that, if you don't mind. I don't really wanna be alone," she admitted with a sigh. The house always felt far too quiet when Dawn wasn't around.
"You're always welcome here, pet," he replied with ease, making her heart flutter a little. She looked up at him with a small smile and his lips quirked up in a smile of his own. She was glad she was sitting down. His smile made her weak in the knees. They spent the day in his crypt and he hadn't complained once about not leaving. They weren't patrolling that night and now Kat wasn't in overkill mode, she had no desire to leave the comfort of Spike's arms. She felt like she could stay there forever.