A/N: I know the last few chapters have been short, but this was right around the time I had a lot of life stuff happen to me and I was struggling getting the story done. But I promise it picks back up and the chapters start to get longer again.

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Spike paced restlessly, his duster billowing out everytime he turned. Everything was so very very wrong. He and Angel subdued the possessed fellow, only for the police to come busting in and scurry him away. There wasn't a thing they could do about it. They didn't really buy the whole 'he's possessed' tripe. But they knew the demons M.O. knew it would have left the body and gone into another. Someone that had to have been there. Now they just had to figure out who it was and stop it. He growled, his boots thumping on the floor as he almost wore a hole in it. He couldn't get the sound of that bloody gunshot out of his head. Couldn't get the image of Kat being shot and falling to the floor like a sack of potatoes out of his brain. He'd thought he'd lost her. Hell, he still wasn't sure that wasn't an option. She was in surgery after the bullet went right under her collar bone. She'd lost a lot of blood. He felt sick.

He was terrified and angry. He'd almost killed the poor bastard that was possessed even though it wasn't really his fault. Chip wouldn't have stopped him either since it was technically a demon. Angel stopped him though. And while that pissed him off, he was glad. Didn't need another thing on his conscience. He was pissed at Kat too for throwing herself in front of a bullet for a sodding stranger. Never thought she was a martyr, that was more the Slayers gig. Apparently it ran in the sodding family. He couldn't really be mad at her though. Saved that girl's life, she did. It was brave and commendable and so very bloody stupid and reckless. He didn't know how to feel about any of it. All he knew was they hadn't heard a peep from the doctors yet and Kat was in a bad way. On her birthday of all days.

They were all in the waiting area, some of them covered in blood from the injured. Whole thing was a goddamn mess. He felt ready to crawl out of his skin. His own bullet wound had mostly healed. It had gone right through and it had closed already though it still ached, not that he even felt it given his current state.

"Spike, sit down," Angel sighed from where he sat next to a shell shocked Slayer. Spike ignored him though, sneering as he paced even harder. He wanted justice. Wanted revenge. He wanted blood. Angel stood up and grabbed his arm, halting his pacing. Spike growled, smacking his arm off him.

"Touch me again and the nurses'll be sweeping up a pile of dust," he hissed menacingly. Angel didn't look phased in the least.

"You're making everyone anxious. You're not the only one worried here," Angel murmured quietly. In the past, Spike wouldn't have given two tosses about everyone else. But as he quickly glanced over to the others, his pesky soul felt a pang of guilt. Buffy was staring off into space, her hands shaking in her lap. Willow was crying quietly as Tara tried to soothe her. Xander looked vacant and even Anya looked on the verge of tears. Giles was also here after Angel called him. His face was stoic but Spike could see in his eyes how scared he was. He knew from things Kat had said that Giles was like a dad to her. Kat was his but so many others loved her. He wasn't the only one in pain. The only one who wasn't here was Dawn. Girl was staying at a friend's and no one wanted to bother her. Not until they knew if Kat would be okay or not. He was glad the Nibblet wasn't here. Was bad enough seeing the others this defeated. Didn't need the young one doing it too.

He heaved a heavy sigh before he moved to sit down and he was annoyed when Angel sat next to him.

"She'll pull through. She's strong," he murmured, trying to be comforting. It only aggravated him though. He didn't need Angel's soft words or comfort. Bloody ponce could shove it. Before he could voice those thoughts, a doctor came out and walked towards them. Spike jumped from his seat, bile rising into his throat. The others stood too as Buffy suddenly looked more lucid.

"How is she?" She asked impatiently.

"She pulled through, the surgery went fine and we got the bullet out. She's resting now. We need to monitor her for a bit for infection, but she should be okay," the doctor explained. Spike almost cried with relief as his body sagged, unintentionally leaning on Angel.

"Can we see her?" Willow asked softly as she wiped her eyes.

"Of course," the doctor smiled.

She led them to Kat's room and Spike made a beeline for her. He clutched her hand, looking at her even paler than usual face. He'd almost lost her. He was holding it all in since he had an audience but he tuned them out, just watching the comforting rising and falling of Kat's chest. He was vaguely aware of the others talking about finding the demon. Seventeen people died in the shooting, with many more injured. This couldn't go on. It needed to be stopped. Spike wanted to be front and center of the hurting party. Wanted to ruin the beast for ever hurting Kat. But looking at how vulnerable she was as she lay there out of it, he couldn't find it in himself to leave her. He didn't want her to wake up alone and in pain, scared.

"I'll stay with her," Spike announced as Buffy was trying to sort out the plan. She looked at him for a long moment before she nodded. She no doubt knew just how much Spike wanted to get the demon himself, but Kat was more important.

"Let me know when she wakes up," she instructed softly.

"Will do," he nodded.

With his audience now gone, he pulled the chair from the corner next to her bed, sitting heavily in it before taking her hand once more. He brought it up to his lips, feeling all of the emotion from the past two hours rushing over him like a waterfall. He allowed the broken sob to leave his lips, pressing her cold hand against his face.

"You're a bloody idiot," he sniffled weakly, wiping his eyes with his spare hand as he looked at her face.

"Me and you are gonna have a conversation when you wake up. Can't be havin' you be so reckless. Not when I've only just got you," he murmured sadly. He continued to talk to her for hours. A mix of chiding her and just talking about mundane things they'd do when she woke up. It was three hours after her surgery when she finally woke up.

Kat's eyes fluttered open and she groaned at the bright lights. She moved to sit up, disoriented and confused, but she gasped in pain as cold hands pushed her back down.

"Gotta take it easy, pet," a soft voice murmured. Spike. The hands left her and then the light went out, soothing her burning eyes. It took a moment but then her brain remembered the events of the night.

"Oh, right… I got shot," she muttered, blinking her heavy eyes slowly. Spike was now perched on her bed next to her and she was surprised to see his blue eyes so glassy as he stared at her. He helped her slowly sit up against the pillows.

"You worried me, Kitten," he frowned, leaning over to place a tender kiss to her lips. She reached her hand out, cupping his cheek and stroking it. He rested his forehead on hers, taking a shaky breath he didn't need.

"I love you," he murmured in a whisper.

"I love you too," she replied without hesitation. He moved away, his eyes wide as he blinked at her.

"That's just the meds talkin'," he said with a wry smile, stroking her hair from her face.

"No, it's just me. Being shot made me realize I should just tell you," she gave him a small smile as she shrugged, wincing as she did. He gave her this weird look. A look she didn't think anyone ever gave her before and it made her feel like she was free falling off a cliff.

"You really mean it?" He asked softly as he took her hand.

"I do," she admitted, squeezing his hand. A blinding grin overtook his face and she didn't think he'd ever been more beautiful.

Spike ended up letting Buffy know she was awake and it didn't take long for the whole gang to be huddled in her room. They filled her in on the situation. The demon jumped bodies once again and the poor guy was left to deal with the consequences. And now they had no idea who the hell the demon was in. It had to be someone at the Bronze but there were so many people, it could be anyone. Giles had managed to find a relic that if touched, the demon would react and they'd know who it was. Willow had used her hacking skills to hack the police reports and find names of people who were there. It gave them somewhere to start but it would take a while and they were running short on time.

"How many died?" Kat asked hesitantly, a heavy weight settling in her stomach.

"Kat…" Buffy frowned, shuffling where she should as the others stayed silent.

"How many?" She asked firmly, her eyes settling on Spike knowing he would at least give her an answer, even if he didn't want to.

"Seventeen," he muttered, not able to look at her. It felt like someone squeezed all the air out of her lungs. Seventeen. Seventeen lives lost, unfinished and unlived. Seventeen families who now had to grieve. And a broken man who had no control over himself and had to witness such brutality.

"We'll get him, Kat. Don't worry," Angel said resolutely, giving her a look that told her he meant it.

"We'll send this bastard right back where he came from," Spike growled, shaking his head with a deep frown on his face.

"We need to do it soon," she lamented, holding Spike's hand like a lifeline.

"We will," Buffy murmured, resting a comforting hand on her shoulder. Too many people had already been taken. They needed to get this demon fast before it got rid of all of Sunnydale.