Chapter 21: Hurts…and healing

Mairon took off in search of Námo as soon as they arrived in Mandos. He didn't know how he knew it, but his lord was in pain. Bad pain. Mairon mentally called out to Námo desperately as soon as they arrived, making it to his study in record time. There, Mairon found Námo laying on his lounge in solitary.

All the lights were off, the Vala's eyes were closed, and he wasn't moving so much as a muscle. Mairon instantly dropped to his knees next to him, hesitantly reaching out with his mind, not daring to physically touch him when he was like this.

*My lord? You are hurt.*

Námo did not physically stir, but his mental voice was soft, if pained.

*I will be okay, Mai.*

Overcoming his initial hesitation at hearing his lord's voice, Mairon grasped Námo's hand.

*You promise?*

Námo's reply was soft, but firm.

*Yes.*

Mai's hand was minutely squeezed, the only movement the Vala had so far made. However, rather than being reassured, Mairon cried out in pain as his own head began pounding. Collapsing in a heap, tears streaming down his cheeks, Mairon cried out as the pain in his head grew even worst.

"My head!"

Námo was having a hard time thinking through the blinding pain, but Mairon's words made him momentarily forget all about it. Opening his eyes, the Vala's gaze zeroing in on the Maia huddled next to him.

"What's wrong?"

Mairon laid his head on Námo's chest. His eyes were squeezed shut, and he was still crying hard.

"M-my head. It-it hurts…"

Námo blinked, busy trying to process this unexpected piece of information. However, the pain in his own head suddenly flared up again, causing him to close his eyes, biting back a gasp. Mairon wasn't able to handle it as well, and was still crying in pain as he clung to Námo, begging the Vala to make it stop. Please make it stop.

Then, as suddenly as it had come, it was gone.

Both Maia and Vala blinked in shock, the pain that had blinded them seconds before suddenly not there. Slowly opening his eyes, the Vala proceeded to sit up, pulling Mairon into his lap as he did so. The Maia sagged into his embrace immediately. Sighing in relief as he rested his head on Námo's chest, Mairon closed his eyes.

"What just happened?"

His voice was rough. Námo's voice when he answered was troubled.

"I truly have no idea. One moment, I was fine, then my head was suddenly pounding fit to burst. Then, just as suddenly, the pain was gone. How did you know what was happening?"

Mairon sighed.

"I – I felt you were in pain. I didn't know what sort until I touched you. Then, the pain in my head…"

He trailed off as Námo began gently rubbing the back of his neck, massaging out the tenseness the pain had caused. It was a while before either said anything; Mairon eventually broke the silence. There was hesitation, and a good deal of fear, in his words.

"What does it mean, my lord?"

Námo sighed.

"I have no idea, Mai. I don't know what caused that pain in the first place. I have no idea why or how you could feel my pain, nor do I know why you were affected when you touched me. I – may need to talk to my brother about what just happened. He understands more than I do about this sort of thing. I will also need to speak with Manwë. Something is not right. You will need to be there as well, to tell them what you felt."

Mairon just sighed, snuggling further into his lord without saying a word as he closed his eyes. He was tired. He'd had a big day in the forge, and the pain he'd just experienced had sapped the last of whatever energy he'd had left.

Námo realised Mairon was almost asleep. He also noticed the Maia was covered in dried sweat and dirt, and smelt of smoke and burnt metal. Kissing his sleepy child, Námo smiled into the tangled copper hair. Mairon had not worn his new hood in the forges due to it being too dangerous.

"I think you need a bath before we go to bed."

Mairon grumbled something unintelligible in response, snuggling deeper into his chest. Ignoring the grumbling, Námo carefully stood up, before thinking them both to his and Vairë's private rooms in the bathhouse. While Mairon was no longer ashamed to let Námo see his scars, he still hid them from everyone else.

Though Marilwë had seen those on his wrists and neck, they were nothing compared to those on his back and the soles of his feet. While he'd seen them many times by now, Námo always felt slightly nauseous at the physical evidence of the terrible torture the Maia had gone through.

The fact Mairon had been unable to think them away, even before they'd bound his natural powers, was a strong testament to how deeply the events causing them had affected his fëa.

A testament to just how deeply Melkor had hurt him.

Was still hurting him.

Námo frowned as he felt an important thought brush his consciousness and just elude his grasp, disappearing back into oblivion.

What had just happened did not make sense, no matter what way you looked at it. Something fishy was going on.

And Námo intended to figure out what it was.

"My Lord? May I come in?"

Námo looked up at the soft voice. Mairon was standing at the open door to his study. It was early afternoon, both of them having slept in late after yesterday's events. As a result, Námo had not yet had a chance to speak with Manwë or Irmo about what had transpired last night.

"Or course you can, Mairon. What is wrong?"

"Nothing."

Mairon came to stand in front of Námo's desk, a bashful look on his face. He was wearing his hood again, and shifting from foot to foot, worrying his lower lip with his teeth. The Vala waited patiently. Finally, the Maia found the courage to speak.

"I – I have something for you. A gift."

Námo's eyes lit up, as he dropped his mask a bit so Mairon could see them.

"Do you now? I wonder what it could be."

Mairon smiled, ducking his head as his cheeks pinkened in embarrassment, evident even with the hood partially obscuring his face. However, he quickly raised it again, holding out a small wooden box Námo didn't recognise the origins of.

"I – I hope you like it. Urunírë did. I – he helped me with finding the materials to make it yesterday."

Námo took the box with a gracious dip of his head. He was more touched then he let on that Mairon had gone to the trouble of making him a gift. He guessed it was some sort of jewellery, given that was all Mairon ever sketched in out. The box was the right size for it as well. But, whatever it was, Námo already knew he would love it.

Simply because Mairon had made it for him.

When he saw just what the Maia had made, Námo smiled. One of his rare real smiles. He couldn't help it, and the look on Mairon's face at seeing his smile was one that Námo would never forget. Lifting the silver cloak pin out of the velvet lining of the box, Námo held it up close to his eyes to examine it.

It was shaped as a circular disk. Two vines sat on top, twisting back into themselves to make up the intricate design. A tiny chip of ruby was set into the disk at the top, just above the point where the two vines almost touched. The piece was flawless, every line and detail clear and crisp, while the pin at the back was strong and sturdy. The whole thing was sturdy as, for its relatively small size, the pin was surprisingly heavy. Námo knew that meant it was made of solid metal and wouldn't break or wear out in a hurry. He could potentially wear this for many millenniums without fear of it breaking.

"This is beautiful, Mairon. Absolutely beautiful. Thank you."

The Maia's smile was blinding.

"You really like it?"

Námo nodded with a smile.

"Yes. I love it. Both for how beautiful it is, and the fact you made it for me. What made you decide on a cloak pin?"

Mairon grinned cheekily.

"That was easy. You rarely wear any type of ornamental jewellery, but do occasionally wear clothing that needs pins."

Námo raised an eyebrow.

"I wasn't aware you were up to date on my wardrobe choices."

Mairon's expression grew sheepish.

"I asked Lady Vairë for help in coming up with something to make for you. It was her suggestion I make a pin for you to use on your cloaks, or to close the neck of your shirts. I think you are going to be getting some new ones as well very soon. At least, she was very interested in the sort of pin I would make, and what it could be used to fasten. She helped me modify my sketches until I was totally happy with the design and function. That was a couple of weeks ago."

Námo raised an eyebrow.

"I wouldn't doubt it. She loves making me yet more clothes, when my wardrobe is already overflowing with stuff I rarely wear, and each one is more bedazzled then the last. But, she is also terrific at keeping secrets. I had no idea anything like this was happening."

Mairon nodded.

"She promised not to breath a word to you about it. You really like it? You don't think it's too plain?"

Námo examined the cloak pin closely, before shaking his head.

"What makes you think it is plain?"

Mairon looked down.

"The stone is so small. I was going to put a bigger one in, but none of them looked quite right. In the end, I decided I liked it better with just the ruby chip. I wasn't sure you would like it like that, though…"

Mairon trailed off, embarrassment overtaking his features. Námo smiled gently at him.

"Well, you can put that thought out of your mind. I love it. Thank you, Mairon."

The Maia smiled at him, before ducking his head shyly again. Námo raised an eyebrow in amusement at the behaviour.

"What has you looking so bashful, Mai?"

For the second time in their conversation, Mairon's face turned a shade of pink that clashed with his copper hair.

"I – I made something for the Lady Vairë as well. I just don't know where to find her. She wasn't in her workshop when I checked."

Námo's lips twitched.

"Did you now? I am sure she will be delighted. Would you like me to call her for you?"

Mairon looked at him.

"Would you? I was going to go and look for her again, but it would take me a while. Seeing I have to climb all those stairs to get to her workshops."

Námo nodded.

"I know. And I am proud of how you have accepted living like an incarnate. I know it must be hard to have to walk everywhere."

Mairon shrugged.

"Not as hard as you would think. I'm used to it. Even while on Middle Earth, I often found it easier to manually go somewhere then I did to think myself there. Especially towards the end, when I was weakening."

Mairon said all this in a matter-of-fact way, having long since accepted what had happened to him. Or at least, having accepted the consequences of what had happened. Which Námo knew was easier for him to do now that he was safe, happy, and loved.

"I am still proud of you. Now, let me call Vairë."

Mairon nodded mutely, both excitement and nervousness shining through his eyes. Námo concentrated his thoughts, and a few moments later, Vairë materialised in front of him, smiling.

"What is up, my dear?"

Námo nodded towards Mairon, who still looked bashful.

"I'll let Mai tell you that."

Vairë's eyes widened, before she turned to look at the Maia with a smile.

"What is it, Mairon?"

The Maia ducked his head yet again. Reaching into a pocket, he removed another small box like the one he'd given Námo. Glancing up, the Maia shyly offered it to her.

"I – I made you something in the forges yesterday. To thank you for all you've done for me since I arrived."

Vairë's eyes softened.

"It is my pleasure. You are one of our family now, Mairon; and I look out for my family. Not to say I don't appreciate gifts." Vairë's eyes lit up in anticipation. "Now, where is it?"

Mairon shyly held out the small box to her again.

"Here."

The Valië gently took it from his hands, eagerly lifting the lid to see what was inside. Her smile grew even wider at the finely crafted silver hair comb that greeted her gaze. The shaft of it was decorated with a design not unlike the vines on Námo's pin, and contained a matching chip of ruby right in the centre. The teeth were strong yet elegant, and the whole thing fitted comfortably into Vairë's hand. The Valië knew it would be very easy to put such a well-made comb in her hair, and proceeded to do so right away, tucking it partway under her headscarf so only the decorated shaft showed. Seeing Námo was also wearing his pin despite not having a cloak to pin it to right now, the Valië smiled.

"Thank you, Mairon. I love it. May I hug you?"

Mairon nodded, and Vairë ended up kissing him on the head in thanks as well. The Maia had a dazed look on his face the while time, but there was no mistaking the smile as meaning anything other than he was happy. After exchanging a few words silently with Námo, the Valië turned to go. However, she had taken less than two steps before she stopped and turned back to face them.

"While I remember and have you here, have either of you seen any of my thimbles? Don't worry if you don't. I am asking everyone I come across. I swear they are somehow disappearing from under my nose. Eärwá and several of the others have also commented on it. Anyone?"

Vairë looked at them both hopefully, to be met with two blank looks and two versions of 'no, sorry'. Sighing, the Valië pursed her lips, and nodded in acceptance.

"I didn't think you would, but it never hurts to ask. I wonder if someone has simply misplaced them…"