Spike sat on the stairs in the hotel, listening to the others prattle on about the nest of vamps that was causing a problem. Some uppity bitch decided she was the new queen bee and had a merry band of dimwits following along. They'd become a problem and they were all discussing how to navigate it. He watched his girl as she joined in the meeting, looking like she fit right in. She'd been doing a little better recently. It had been a week since she'd knocked on his door and stayed the night and he read poetry to her. It had made him nervous. Opening up to her that way, letting her see his insides. But it had been worth it to hear she thought it was beautiful.
He watched her like he always did. Longing and wanting. He wanted nothing more than to snog her senseless and tell her everything would be okay. But he'd been keeping his distance. Wasn't really sure how to handle her with how emotional she was. He didn't like how strange things were with them. They'd gone from living together and sharing their lives together to this weird stilted relationship. One where he was scared if he hovered too much, he'd smother her and she'd be done with him. He was just patiently waiting for her to sort through her feelings and figure it out. He didn't mind waiting. He did mind having to see Angel's ugly mug everyday, but it was worth it to be here with her. Those weeks without her had been the worst of his life. He was just grateful for all the little touches, the fact she slept curled against his chest every night. For the moments where she seemed to forget and would act like her usual self with him. They'd shared a few moments where he'd almost just kissed her. Felt the palpable tension in the air between them, like electricity crackling. But he'd wait and behave himself. Let her make the first move when she was comfortable. He was only just getting her back, no way he was gonna push his luck and lose her again.
In the weeks she'd been there without him, he'd been living for the tidbits of information he got from Buffy. Angel refused to speak to Spike on the phone. Might have been 'cause the night she left, Spike blew up the phone with a barrage of abusive and aggressive messages. From then on, he'd had to learn about this girl secondhand from Buffy. The Ponce had sugar coated how Kat was doing for the Slayer. Of course he did. He wasn't sure if it was to stop her worrying about her cousin or to not further the guilt she had for the mishap that was damning Kat to an eternal life of damnation. Either way, he soon learned that Kat wasn't doing as okay as Captain Forehead had been making out. When Angel called him, told him Kat wanted to talk to him, he couldn't get here quick enough. And when he'd turned up, Angel hadn't sugar coated it for him. Told him how badly Kat had been doing. How depressed she was. And he loathed it. Loathed it more that she was feeling that way without him there to try and help her. She'd shut him out. But it felt like she was slowly letting him back in now and he was overjoyed. They were fated together, so the idea of them permanently splitting up wasn't exactly a likelihood. But he couldn't lie, he thought it might be heading in that direction after she left. He knew she'd feel hurt and betrayed over being turned like that. It was precisely why he'd said no in the first place. He hardly expected her to go running off with his grandsire to LA though. That bit had shocked him and turned him all green, that was for sure. He didn't blame her though. The fact she'd started to let him back in after his part in her betrayal was nothing short of a miracle. He just hoped she'd come around soon on the others too. He couldn't wait to get back home, try to get some semblance of normal back with her. And being away from Sir BroodsAlot would also be a bonus. The big hurdle would be the Slayer, and he wasn't sure just what he could do to help her with that one. The others all played their parts, himself included, but they were merely pawns in Buffy's game. He was mad at her for what she'd done. Almost made his girl outright hate him. But he couldn't judge her too hard. Not when it meant his soulmate was still up and kicking and would otherwise be gone. He'd be alone and miserable. Probably have dusted himself by now if he was honest. No point living without Kat by his side. He'd let Buffy push him into his selfish thoughts and feelings and gave her what she wanted. And that was the issue. Kat couldn't get over the sheer selfishness of it. To do this to her against her will just so the others wouldn't have to grieve. But he had to hope that if she could forgive him, she'd be able to forgive Buffy.
Wasn't like he gave two tosses about Buffy and her feelings. She brought this on herself and he was still salty over being used the way she had. But it was for Kat. She needed Buffy, needed her family. And Dawn needed it too. Poor girl was left in limbo with her life and family all in shreds like this and he hated seeing her so cut up about it. They needed to mend their fences so they could all move on from this. Kat would never be able to accept her new reality if she clung onto the anger and resentment. And as a vampire, feeling as much and as strongly as they did, it was easy to hold onto grudges and not let go. Case in point being him and the moody sod. He was hoping since she was starting to let him in, and with some time, he'd be able to warm her up to the possibility of going and having a chat with her cousin so they could move past the whole thing.
He watched as the meeting wrapped up, envy and anger curling low in his belly as Angel murmured something to Kat, resting a hand on her shoulder. He knew it was stupid. She was his soulmate after all. He was just sick of Angel trying to take what was his and with his little white knight routine. Was bad enough that the sod had been the one to help Kat through her transition, and the only thing stopping him impaling the twat with a pointy stick was the fact it had been Kat's choice. Stung like a bitch, that did. But what had he expected? He glowered hard at Angel and as if feeling the eyes on him, the ponce turned to look at him. He shot him a sly grin, squeezing Kat's shoulder for a moment before he moved away. Standing up, Spike walked down the couple of stairs from where he'd been perched and into the foyer. They'd all settled on hitting the nest the next night. They all wanted to prepare before they went in stakes blazing. He purposely bumped into Angel as he walked past and made his way to Kat who was tossing her red wavy hair up in a haphazard bun.
"Hey. Can I ask a favor?" she asked, tightening her bun.
"Always," he replied with no hesitation. She could ask anything of him and he'd do it, no questions asked.
"I really wanna pick up with our training. I have all this new strength now and no idea how to use it. I think it's time I start practicing again," she murmured, stuffing her hands in the pockets of the hoodie she was wearing. His heart swelled a little at the notion of her coming to him about it and not the arsehole with the savior complex.
"Won't be a problem. When do you wanna start?" he asked, admiring how a few wisps of her hair framed her face. She was beautiful. Always was. She could wear a potato sack and he'd still think she was the most beautiful girl to grace the planet.
"Now?" she asked wryly, giving him an adorable look that had his heart lurching. Dear god, he wanted to kiss her. It felt like old times almost. When they knew they cared for each other but she was too scared to take the leap. All the times he'd wanted to kiss her but had to restrain himself. Was bloody torture and he was reliving it all over again. Woman would be the death of him.
"Alright. Where were you thinkin'? Here?" he asked, glancing around. She followed his lead, looking around the foyer. Cordelia was at the desk talking animatedly on the phone and Wesley was standing near her as he read a book. She wrinkled her nose a little and he had a feeling she wasn't so comfortable with experimenting with her new athletic abilities in front of an audience.
"Maybe the courtyard?" she asked. Could work. The sun had gone down and there was enough space there. He felt a thrum of excitement buzzing under his skin. He was excited to see her discover what she could do. She'd been so wrapped up in her misery and what she'd lost, she hadn't even begun to discover the new world that awaited her now.
They walked outside and Kat tossed her hoodie on a stone bench, rolling her shoulders. His eyes lazily roamed her body in her sweatpants and a thin strappy vest. He shucked off his duster, carefully laying it with her hoodie before he moved to face her.
"You ready?" he asked, a sly grin curling on his face. She looked apprehensive but she nodded.
"Where should we start?" she asked hesitantly.
"Just try to hit me," he smirked devilishly. She squinted at him suspiciously before he held his arms out, giving her a look. What are you gonna do about it? It said. She rolled her eyes, shifting on her feet a little. Then she let her fist fly and he dodged it easily. She groaned in annoyance as she tried again and soon enough it was like a dance between them. He was dodging all of her advances like the master vampire he was and she was getting frustrated. He could see it in how her movements got more harsh and angry.
"Come on, KitKat. Anyone would think you're not serious about this," he grinned teasingly at her. An indignant noise sounded in the back of her throat. She went to hit him and he moved to dodge, but she feigned right and the next thing he knew, her fist connected with his nose. It was reminiscent of when they'd trained when she was human and he'd barely felt it. Only this time, he bloody well felt it.
"Jesus Christ," he muttered, cradling his nose that had a scarlet torrent cascading down out of it.
"Oh my god! Are you okay?!" she asked, sounding mortified, moving his hands away and seeing the blood. Her crystal blue eyes were wide with shock and horror at herself and he saw how they started glistening. Bloody hell.
"It's fine. That's why we're doin' this, yeah? I asked you to hit me," he murmured, wiping the blood with the back of his hand.
"But I think I broke your nose," she lamented with a frown.
"And it'll heal right quick," he replied with a raised brow. Last thing he needed was her feeling bad that she'd hurt him. What had she expected was gonna happen?
"I didn't even hit you that hard. I didn't expect… last time it didn't even…" she trailed off, her mouth clamping shut no doubt at the absurdity of her statement. Last time she'd barely made a dent. But she'd been human. And now she wasn't.
"This was a mistake," she muttered tensely, rushing off back to the door. Spike grabbed her wrist before she got too far and turned her around to face him.
"The point of all this is to learn to use it. You're not goin' out there to pummel innocent humans. You're doin' this to fight the big bads. You said yourself, you don't know your own strength. Well, now you do and you can learn to use it right. Ain't no use in cryin' just 'cause you broke my bloody nose. Had worse in my time, pet. You gotta learn," he said firmly. There was no way he was letting her run back up to her room and lock herself away again. Just her asking to train was a big deal of itself. He wasn't about to let her backtrack now. Her gaze drifted to his nose again and he could see the guilt all over her. Was a tad ridiculous but there was a twinge of happiness at knowing she was this upset over hurting him. He'd have thought with how angry she'd been at him, a chance to pummel him would be her new favorite thing to do.
"Spike…" she murmured, a frown creasing at her brows as no doubt another excuse was about to leave her mouth. He let go of her arm, both of his hands moving to cup either side of her face. It had been reflex, no thought behind it at all given their current predicament. But he didn't remove them. Dammit, he didn't want to. He was so sick of this treading on eggshells bollocks and it was doing his nut in having to keep his distance. She blinked up at him, all doe eyes and looking startled.
"Katherine…" he started, her full name he so rarely used tumbling off his lips almost like a fervent prayer. Her eyes widened even more, lips slightly parted. He saw how her pupils dilated a bit and he was pleased he still got that reaction out of her, but now wasn't the time.
"We can go round and round in circles until the end of days, luv. You need to train. I'm a vampire. I heal quick and I know how to take a hit. Better me than any of that lot in there. I just wanna help you… let me help you," he implored, his voice bordering on begging at this point. He needed to feel useful and if he couldn't even help his own girl, then what use was he?
"I just feel bad," she whispered, still looking at him all wide eyed and beautiful. His thumb stroked her cheek softly as he resisted the urge to taste her lips again. He felt like a man starved.
"You don't have to. You really think I can't take a few hits off a newbie vamp? Hurtin' my pride, you are," he huffed teasingly, a sly smirk curling at his lips. It drew a small smile out of her at that. It felt like someone rammed a red hot poker right through his chest at the pure need to kiss her. He started to think he should throw caution to the wind and just bloody do it, but she moved away from him and his hands suddenly felt far too empty for his liking.
"FIne. But when I beat your ass, don't cry to me," she smirked playfully. He could still see the worry and guilt shining behind her eyes but he was sodding proud she was pushing past it to do this.
Spike was enraptured as they sparred. Watching her discover how fast she could be, how strong. She was no match for him, of course. Master vamp and all. But he let her get a good few hits in so she could practice. She used all the moves he'd taught her as a human and he taught her how to adapt them to her new powers. At some point, she switched from hesitant to exhilaration and he'd be a liar if he said it didn't make his pants tighten at the sight of her. She was a vision. He saw the moment where it switched in her head. The carefree smile on her face, the little laughs leaving her lips when she landed a blow. She was loving it just like he knew she would. Wasn't a damn thing wrong with enjoying the power that came with being a vamp. Soul or no soul. It was an advantage. One she'd wished for in the past. He lost track of how much time had gone by before they called it quits. Kat laughed, swiping at the hair that had come free of her bun off her face. She looked radiant, an excited aura coming from her from the adrenalin. She was breathtaking.
"That was kinda fun," she grinned, grabbing her hoodie from the bench.
"What I tell you?" he smirked, making her roll her eyes with a snort. She was positively beaming and he caught her wrist, yanking her closer to him as his heart won out over his head. She smiled up at him, all coy and demure like he didn't know just what she was like between the sheets. A dark angel.
"You're beautiful," he murmured, unable to help himself. Seeing her this radiant and happy was a soothing balm to his soul. Her eyes widened a little and drifted to his lips and he wondered if it would be so bad. She wanted it too. Surely she wouldn't push him away. Her free hand clutched his t-shirt and it almost felt like his heart started beating again. Fuck it. He wanted her and she wanted him. He started to lean in, noticing how her eyes fluttered shut in anticipation instead of pushing him away. His stomach tightened, a million butterflies erupting wildly as his lips were a hair's breadth away from hers.
"Kat… Oh, sorry," Angel muttered awkwardly. Kat moved away so fast it almost gave him whiplash and he tried to not let the disappointment settle like a stone in his stomach. The look he shot Angel was scathing but he didn't seem like he cared so much as he pointedly ignored Spike and looked at Kat. He knew she'd be blushing if she could but he was mildly worried by the little frown on her face. He hoped to any god that would damn well listen he hadn't cocked it all up.
"Dawn's on the phone," Angel continued, giving her a warm smile. Since Kat had called her up the week before, her lil cousin had called her every night to check in. He loved the Bit, he really did. But he had half a mind to run back to Sunnyhell and thwack her around the head for the inconvenient timing. Kat glanced at him then, a sheepish smile on her pretty face.
"Thanks for this. I really appreciate it," she murmured, zipping up her hoodie.
"No problem. Anytime you wanna spar, give me a shout," he replied with a nod. He felt a little awkward now. No idea where he bloody stood with her after their almost kiss. She'd been willing, that much was clear. But now she was acting like it never happened and he didn't like it. She pranced off back into the hotel to have a chat with Nibblet and it left him standing in the courtyard with the tit with the stick up his arse. Spike huffed, displeased at his moment being ruined, as he grabbed his duster and slipped it on.
"Do you want something?" he asked drolly, giving the lurking Angel a dirty look. Angel's mouth floundered for a moment and Spike grew impatient.
"Do share with the class," he murmured wryly, grabbing his smoke from his pocket before lighting up a much needed cigarette.
"I know me and you haven't ever seen eye to eye," Angel started awkwardly, his hands in his pockets as he shifted where he stood.
"Think that's an understatement," Spike huffed before inhaling greedily on his smoke.
"We both have something in common right now. We both care about Kat," Angel continued. Spike almost choked on the smoke at his words, narrowing his eyes dangerously at the man. As if his bond as her soulmate somehow compared to their circumstantial friendship. One that only happened 'cause Angel had a deep need to try and help people and Kat had just wanted to get the hell out of dodge.
"Funny that. Didn't care much about her when she was human. Only when she got all fangy with a soul," Spike mused sourly. Angel sighed, giving him an exasperated look.
"Look, I just want what's best for her. I did care about her before. She was important to Buffy so she was important to me. But now, with this, I got to know her and we really became friends. I care about her," Angel frowned.
"If you're thinkin' of steppin' on my toes, hate to break it to you mate, we're soulmates. Don't think it'd work out too well for you," Spike smirked derisively.
"I'm not stepping on your- Can you stop being a jealous whiny little brat for a minute?" Angel bit out irritably. Spike let out an indignant scoff, smoke hanging from his fingers as he gave Angel an offended look.
"Like I'd be jealous of the likes of you, you ponce," Spike huffed.
"Spike," Angel tried, looking more and more like he wanted to bash Spike's head into the stone bench he was standing near.
"No. She didn't even like you, you know. Thought you were a miserable sod. Off broodin' all the time. Feelin' sorry for yourself. Always got a free pass when you got your Jekyll and Hyde on just 'cause the Slayers got the hots for you," he rambled bitterly, a sly smirk on his face.
"I already know how she felt about me. We talked about it when Buffy died," Angel stated simply. Well, that took the wind right out of his sails, didn't it? Couldn't even throw that in his face 'cause Kat and her bleeding heart went and mended that fence and now they were friends. He liked it better when she didn't like the tit.
"Is there a point to all this blathering?" Spike asked brusquely.
"The point is… you're an ass, but I'm glad you're here. She needs you, she's already doing better since you got here," Angel admitted, albeit a little reluctantly. That, he wasn't expecting. He blinked at him for a moment, his brain trying to register the nice sentiment that just came out of the idiot's mouth. He'd been expecting a lecture of some sorts. Some sorta brotherly talk about not hurting her.
"Oh… well… thanks," Spike mumbled, taking another drag of his smoke before he tossed it to the floor and stubbed it out with his boot. There was an uncomfortable silence that settled over them then, both of them standing around not knowing what to say. Angel did what he did best. Turned to walk away without a word. But Spike stopped him as he got to the door.
"Interrupt us again and you'll be meetin' an untimely end with a sharp stick," he muttered warningly. He wasn't pleased by the amused look that passed on Angel's face as he turned to look at him.
"I'll try my best," he smirked at him in a way that told him he was probably going to try to interrupt them at every chance they got now. Now he knew it got under Spike's skin. Spike huffed, watching Angel walk inside the hotel.
He heaved a heavy sigh, plonking down on the bench. He thought of his girl, all glowing and radiant in her new skin. Thought about how she'd been ready for him to steal a kiss off her once more. How tightly she'd gripped her shirt, how her pupils dilated with need. But then he thought about how quickly she pulled away from him. As if he'd burnt her with a mere touch. Thought about how awkward she seemed after. He wasn't sure what to do about it. He'd been careful with her. Restraining himself the best he could in her presence. It had been hard but the last thing he wanted to do was push her away. But now he wasn't sure what she bloody wanted so he had no idea where to go from here. He had an awful feeling that she wouldn't address the almost kiss. Would act like it never even sodding happened. He didn't want to push the matter but it was maddening. He felt like he was on a merry-go-round that wouldn't stop and he wanted off. He wanted to be able to kiss her when he wanted. To touch her like he used to. Little touches, soft touches. He bloody well missed her even though he was with her. The ball was in her court now and he had a feeling she'd stuff the ball in her pocket and pretend like it didn't exist.