Elizabeth linked her arm through her father's. "Ready, Beth?"
"Yes, Dad." She kissed his cheek and smiled. "I'm glad you are walking me down the aisle."
"I promised."
"Yes you did."
Elizabeth's eyes watered as she caught Nathan's eye at the front of the church. He smiled, his own eyes showing his emotion.
"Are you happy, Beth?" her dad asked her.
"Yes. He and Kingston make me so very happy."
"I'm glad." William took her hands and leaned forward to kiss her cheek. "I love you."
"I love you too, Dad."
Nathan walked forward and accepted her hand from William. "Take care of her, Nathan."
"I promise I will, sir."
The vows they repeated were the typical vows repeated at most weddings. Somehow though, they meant more to them. Maybe it was because both had done this once before, and had been in a deep, lasting relationship with the supposed loves of their lives. Maybe it was because the vow, "til death do us part" had been fulfilled with those loves. Whatever it was, they took those vows seriously and felt them in their bones.
"You may kiss your bride," the pastor said.
Nathan cradled her face in his hands and softly, purposefully sealed their vows with a kiss. "Forever, my sweet Bess."
"Forever," she whispered back.
They didn't have a reception. Not really. Just a nice dinner that her parents had paid to have catered. While everyone chatted, Jake took Tara's hand and squeezed. He knew her and he knew that right that moment, she was thinking about Jesse. It hurt her so much to leave him at the hospital.
"I think we should get married soon," he whispered in her ear.
"Not until Jesse is home with us."
"I'm not sure my mom would be able to travel back that soon. What if we did it after she and Nathan got back from their honeymoon?"
"Not until he's home. I'm sorry, Jake."
She stood and walked off, leaving him feeling confused yet again. That happened often those days.
Instead of letting her be, like he usually did, he followed her. He needed to know.
"Tara…"
"Jake, this is your mother's wedding day. I'm not having this conversation right now."
"Knowing you, you will keep pushing it off but we need to do this."
"Jake…"
"Are we ever going to get married? Are you ever going to stop blaming yourself for his premature birth? Why are you pushing me away?"
"Jake, I can't do this!"
"Which part?"
"All of it! I just need to go be with my son."
"Our son," he corrected. He could feel her slipping from him and it felt terrible. "He's our son. Somewhere along the way you forgot that you aren't alone in this. I'm here with you."
"It's too much."
She pulled out her phone and started dialing.
"What are you doing?"
"Calling a cab. I assume you aren't going to take me to the hospital."
"Of course I will. Tara, we will go after dinner."
"I'm going now."
She was so incredibly stubborn. Despite that, he loved her deeply. He wanted to be her husband. He just needed to convince her of that.
"Fine, we will go now. I'm going to tell my Mom and then we will go. Together."
He prayed that Tara would still be in the lobby when he returned. If not, he was still going up there and he would make sure she knew that he would be there with her, no matter what. He could be just as stubborn.
Tara literally didn't know what was happening to her. She felt so out of control. So sad all the time. She just wanted to know that Jesse would be alright and then maybe she'd feel better. Every single day that she left him there, her heart hurt. He was so helpless and tiny.
She didn't want to be with Jake right now. She felt so inadequate. He deserved better than she had to give.
"Alright, let's go," Jake told her, offering his hand. She just kept her arms folded around her middle. If she caved and let him touch her, she would lose her stubbornness and then she would implode.
Jake took a huge risk and decided that as they drove the thirty minutes to the hospital, he was going to bring up some touchy subjects. She couldn't walk away.
"I love you, sweetheart," he said, starting the conversation.
"I know."
"And you and Jesse are the most important things to me."
"I know."
"I think you might need to see your medical doctor."
"I'm not ill, Jake."
"You may just be. Post-partum depression is a real thing."
She scoffed and looked out the window.
"Mom had it with Gracie. She said she felt lost and alone, even though my dad never left her side. She said that she felt that she had lost something the moment Gracie was born. She missed feeling her move inside and kick her. She felt a connection during those months and then it was gone. She cried a lot and was angry and I was little so I didn't know but I'm sure if I had, it would have affected me too."
"I'm sorry she went through that."
"I think that's what you are going through."
"You don't know what I'm going through," she said quietly, though with plenty of bite.
"No, I don't know how it feels to go through all that you have. I do know that everything I see in you matches what my mom described. It matches what I've read too."
"Jake, I can't believe you talked to your mom about me."
"What was I supposed to do? I felt like I was losing you. I still feel that way. You are pushing so hard away from me and I needed advice. So yes, I went to her."
She crossed her arms. She felt the tears coming and she didn't want to cry. She needed to be strong.
"I'm not leaving you, Tara. Ever. I'm always always going to be by your side as we raise our son. Even if you decide not to marry me, I will never leave either of you."
She wiped away a tear, so frustrated. "I need to be strong!" she yelled. "Jesse needs me to be strong!"
"Says who?"
"Me! I wasn't strong enough to protect him but I'm supposed to do that. I'm a police officer. It's my job to protect and I failed!"
Jake pulled into a parking lot and put the car in park. He reached for her, feeling her jerk as his fingers touched her arm. "Let me hold you, sweetheart. We both need it."
He softly took her hand, easing into it. "I miss you, Tara."
"I know," she said, sobbing into his shoulder. "I miss you too."
"I will go to the doctor with you, sweetie. You won't be alone. Ever."
Her lips found his a moment later and both of them let themselves relax and enjoy the closeness that they hadn't felt in a long time. "You won't leave me?"
"Never."
Jude walked Gracie to her door for a quick moment to say goodbye. He had left Kylie with his parents so they could spend some much needed time alone.
"I love you," she told him, hugging him.
"I love you too."
"Thank you for tonight. It was nice."
He pressed his lips to her forehead.
"What was that?" she said with a giggle.
"A kiss."
"If you're my older brother. Why don't you come in? We can watch TV and make popcorn."
He knew it was early but being alone with Gracie...he didn't quite trust himself.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, slowly, taking her time. "Jude?"
"I think maybe I should go."
"This was our first night out in a long time, babe. I'm not really ready for it to end."
"What are you saying?"
"Just...I want us to spend time together."
"Watching a movie and eating popcorn?"
"Yeah. Please stay."
He nodded and followed her inside. She kicked off her heels and he watched as she walked barefoot to the kitchen, entranced by the sway of her hips.
"Parmesan on your popcorn?" she wondered.
"Maybe just butter and salt?"
She nodded and grabbed the popcorn popper. He did as he usually did and grabbed the butter from the refrigerator and melted it in the microwave.
"I can't believe my mom got married today," she said quietly before turning on the popper.
He rubbed her back with his fingertips. "Are you okay with that?"
"Yeah...I mean he makes her happy and...now I have a little brother too."
"But…"
"I guess it was kind of like she was finally moving past losing my dad, you know? He's in her past. She's moved on."
"But toward a good, happy future," he assured her. "And she'll never forget him."
"I know. Neither will I."
She wiped her eyes and shook her head.
"Hey," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her.
"I'm sorry...talking about the wedding and my dad….just reminded me…."
He continued rubbing his fingertips up and down her back. "Reminded you what?"
"I won't have anyone to give me away when...I get married one day."
"Sure you will. Your mom would absolutely walk you down the aisle or your Grandpa William or Nathan. Maybe even Jake. You're not alone, babe."
Shoot, if Jude could, he'd walk her down the aisle himself if it meant she was happy. Who said the groom couldn't do that?
Jude's mind was on marrying Gracie for the rest of the evening. As they sat close on the couch and watched the movie. As their hands bumped in the bowl when they each went for more. When she moved the bowl and wrapped her arm around his waist and snuggled even closer.
He wanted to marry her but devoting and promising his heart and life to someone forever? It was a lot all at once. Kylie and his teaching job took up a lot of time, not to mention Kate's House. How could he give Gracie enough time? Would he be a good husband?
"What are you worrying about?" she asked, lifting her head to look at him.
"Who says I'm worried?"
"You tensed up. I felt it and I know you, Jude Wyatt."
He smiled and kissed her forehead again and then her lips. "I need you to know something, Gracie."
"I'm listening."
"I love you and I want to marry you. I'm just…"
"Overwhelmed?"
"And I want to make sure that I have enough time to devote to you. So that you don't feel neglected in any way."
"I appreciate that but I don't necessarily think it's a good idea to wait too long either. Its never going to be the perfect time. You have a lot of responsibilities but you handle it well. I just know that whenever we've spent time together, like tonight, it gets harder to say goodbye."
"Yes it does." He softly caressed her lips with his, lingering a moment. "Soon."
"Promise?"
"Yes. Promise."
The next morning….
Elizabeth couldn't and didn't want to wipe the smile off her face. She was Elizabeth Grant. Wife of Nathan, "Mum" to Kingston. Finally.
She made a cup of coffee for each of them similar to the way she did it at the Inn but this time, she would bring it to him in bed. Her cheeks pinked, making her feel butterflies at the thought of her husband waiting for her.
"Morning, love," he said, wandering in the kitchen.
"What are you doing up? I was hoping we could drink our coffee together in bed."
"Oh." He gave her a kiss and then walked back to the master. "I'm ready when you are!" he called. She chuckled.
She joined him with two hot cups of coffee a moment later. He accepted the cup and watched as she climbed back up next to him. She was beautiful in the mornings.
"So," he said, sipping carefully.
"So…"
"We actually got married."
"We did."
"Best decision I've made in a long time."
She touched his cheek and kissed him. "You're very sweet, husband."
"You're very beautiful, wife." He put his cup to the side and reached for her.
"What's on your mind?"
"You. Always you, Bess."