7. Found Truth

Red blinked hard, something was different. Each time there was a lightning flash he could see its bright white streak silhouetted against the blackness that enveloped the rest of his vision. Was his eyesight returning? Was that even a possibility? He blinked hard again, he needed to push the thought from his mind, now was not the time.

Red was currently sitting out in the middle of a field located just beyond the boundaries of the wood he had sheltered in the following day. Macaw had left him there while he went in search of Autumn who hadn't returned from her foraging trip earlier that day. Red had felt apprehensive since learning the news that she had gone out alone, that apprehension heaped on top of the guilt he'd been feeling since his talk with Macaw was proving to be a potent combination. Something was wrong, he knew it, but there was nothing he could do but stand in the open and hope it would somehow guide her to him.

Standing in the open had become increasingly difficult since Macaw had left. The rain which started life as a gentle patter on Red's fur had gradually grown into a torrent that threatened to wash him away. Red winced as he felt the pool of cold water that had built up on his head suddenly run its way down his back. He shivered as it reached his tail, this was going to be a long night.

The rain continued through the night before beginning to ease just before dawn. Red was now standing in little more than a muddy swamp, his fur was soaked through making every gust of wind feel like icy daggers against his skin. There had been no sign of either Autumn or Macaw the whole night, Red knew this could only indicate bad news, its magnitude was the only question unanswered.

Red felt a light buffeting of air currents off to his left followed by an unexpected splash in the puddle next to him. "Did you find her?" asked Red.

"We need to leave, there's nothing left for us here," replied Macaw "we need to move quickly and cover as much ground as we can before it gets too light."

"I don't understand, where's Autumn?" Red turned his head to face what he thought was Macaw's direction. "Did you find her?"

Macaw lifted a wing and guided Red's head to face in his actual direction. "She's gone, we need to keep moving."

"Gone where? She's gone on without us?" probed Red insistently "why would she leave us?"

"No Red, you're not listening to me, she's gone…" Macaw could barely finish the sentence, Red was forcing him to think about what he had just seen.

The two animals went silent, they sat next to each other for what felt like an eternity, facing off into the oncoming sun rise.

A hundred or more questions crossed Red's mind, however he was unable to make his mouth articulate any of them except the most basic of all. "How?"

Macaw could see his companion was struggling to get his words out. "Car, she was hit crossing a road, I was with her as she passed," Macaw looked Red up and down "it was quick, she didn't suffer."

Red shuffled uncomfortably. "I should have been there, I should be there now!"

"No boy, you shouldn't have, the same thing would have happened whether you were there or not," said Macaw shaking his head in disagreement "bad things happen in this world whether you're around to witness them or not."

Red didn't know what to say, he hadn't made things right with Autumn, and now she was gone he would never get the chance to. Red felt physically sick and began to gag and retch into the pools of water that surrounded him. Macaw could only look on with sadness, he'd lost a friend today and had a second who was broken.

It took some time before Red could pull himself together. Shakily Red stood up, he took a long drink from one of the puddles nearby and started walking in the direction he assumed the road was in.

"Wait! Wait!" squawked Macaw as he scrambled after the rapidly exiting fox "where are you going?"

Red ignored the command and continued his brisk pace. "I'm going to give Autumn the attention in death that I should have given her in life. Help me or don't, that's up to you."

Macaw knew it was pointless to argue, when Red made up his mind he was as stubborn as an old mule. Macaw took to the air briefly and landed on Red's back. "We'll need to be quick, there's already far too much daylight for it to be safe, head straight ahead until I tell you otherwise."

Red acknowledged with a silent nod of his head and set off in the direction Macaw had indicated.

The Journey took much longer than Red had expected, the two animals had to cross multiple fields, roads and woods. It was painfully apparent that Autumn hadn't paid attention to Macaw's instructions and had wandered off a long way in search of food. Red was silent the whole journey, acknowledging Macaw's directions with a string of nods and grunts. He was lost in thought, thoughts of things he should have done, the things he shouldn't have, he couldn't make it add up right.

Eventually after what seemed like hours, they arrived at the edge of the kerb that dropped down onto the road that had claimed Autumn's life. Macaw let out a mournful sigh, he could see Autumn's broken body at the other side of the road ahead of them. Red took that as a sign they were in the right place. "Just tell me when."

Macaw looked left and right a few times to check for traffic, it was eerily quiet, almost as if the world knew what was transpiring and had checked its goings on in respect. Macaw lent down and whispered in Red's ear, "go now."

Red leapt down the kerb and moved as quickly as he could over to the other side of the road. "Stop here, on your left," Macaw said without looking down, his vision fixed directly ahead, he couldn't face the sight this close up.

"Off!" ordered Red. Macaw hopped down from Red's back without hesitation, he stood still at Red's side continuing to gaze off into the distance. Red followed his nose to find Autumn's exact resting place, her scent was thick in the air, as was the smell of her blood. Red crouched down and slid his head carefully under her body, making sure to balance her weight evenly on either side of his back. He then lifted slowly raising her body up until it dangled off the ground. "Find me shelter," he paused for a second "somewhere she'd like."

Macaw scanned the field beyond the road, there was little there in terms of shelter, it was mostly empty grassland. Macaw noticed that the field sloped gradually upwards and that in the distance at its highest point stood an old mostly leafless oak tree. That was about as good as they would find within the local area. He hopped back up on Red, this time perching directly on top of Red's head to avoid interfering with the precariously balanced body on his back. Red shouldered the extra weight without acknowledgement, his attention was so focused on the job at hand, the stresses on his body would have to wait.

The two animals made their way across the field and up to the base of the old oak tree. There Red carefully dropped his two passengers off and immediately set to work digging at the base of the tree. Macaw was unsure of what Red was doing at first but decided better of asking questions, figuring the answer would reveal itself in time.

Red dug for over an hour, the wet ground made the process slow and laborious. There were multiple times where Red thought he might pass out from exhaustion, the hunger and injuries from recent days were beginning to catch up with him. Eventually his progress was stopped by a mess of gnarled roots belonging to the old oak tree. Red hauled himself out of the hole he had created and bent down over Autumn's broken body. Using his snout he gently felt his way over her form until he found her front paws. He took these gently in his jaws and used them to pull Autumn down into the hole in as dignified manner as he could. Red then went to work repacking the mud and dirt around her, burying her remains deep below the oak tree. Once finished he sat still in silence at the foot of the grave he had just filled, Macaw hopped over and joined him.

"She'd have liked it here," said Macaw as he spread his wings to indicate the surrounding area.

Red nodded his head. "Just, give me a minute?" he said, there was a slight quiver in his voice.

Macaw peered inquisitively towards his companion for a second. "Sure my boy, I'll just be up top when you need me." With that Macaw flapped his wings and soared up into the branches of the oak tree.

Red sat lost in thought, every decision he had made to get him to this point came flooding into his head. Small or big it didn't matter, they were all somehow wrong, all somehow responsible for him having to bury a friend. A friend who should have meant more to him. Red felt the gentle splashes of rain on his fur, the bad weather had drawn back in, he let it wash over him again.

Red had never really cried before, there'd been many instances in his life where he had every reason to but he'd always held it back, pushing the feelings back down inside where they came from. This was not one of those times, he broke down, his sobbing drowned out by the sound of thunder in the skies.