A/N: Please keep in mind this is kinda AU and doesn't strictly follow canon. Also, it might seem like I skipped a lot of shit or glossed over it in this one, but as I've said before, I hate writing canon shit lmao Things don't happen exactly as they did in this episode. This one is a… lil bit emotional looool

—-

Kat sat on the couch in the Summers' house, anxiety swarming her entire being. A lot had happened these past few months and she was still struggling to understand where things had gone so wrong. A lot of things had changed. They were facing something like they'd never faced before. Bigger than anything, bigger than Glory. The First Evil was no joke and now they were trying to defeat it. The house was overrun by teenage girls. Potential Slayers. They'd been going missing and murdered so the gang had worked hard in finding them and getting them here to keep them safe. They'd been training them for the battle ahead. Even Faith was here. It had been tense but they'd worked through it and they were all on the same page now. It had been constant fighting against the Bringers and the crazy ass Ubervamps, which terrified the shit out of Kat. They were stronger than anything she'd come across. And they'd had to deal with a preacher turned asshole called Caleb, a fight ending in Xander losing an eye. Everything was hectic and tense and it was only going to get worse. Buffy found some special scythe and used it to kill the asshole preacher thankfully and Angel had popped by and gave Buffy some kind of necklace that she was being hush hush about. Spike wasn't helping her anxiety at all. He'd been weird and fidgety and not in the 'I'm itching for a fight' kind of way. Spike was never scared, always faced things head on. She had no idea what was going on with him. And then there was her dream.

The one she'd had all that time ago, when Glory was after Dawn. It was back. It was the same as last time. Being in the water, raining down tarot cards, the exact same ones as last time. Spike was there and he'd burst into flames. The only difference in this dream was what he said to her. This time he said things like "You're stronger than you think, luv." and "I love you, and I want you to remember that." the more worrying one being; "No matter what, you gotta carry on, pet. Do it for me." She had no idea what the dream was trying to tell her but the last time she was plagued by it, Buffy had died. She hadn't told anyone about it, not wanting them to worry about her when so much more was going on. They'd already lost some of the Potentials. This was serious. Buffy had come up with a plan. She wanted Willow to do her magic mojo and give the Potentials the Slayer power that she and Faith have. It would tip the scales for them going into the Hellmouth and fighting the Turok-Hans. But Kat was scared. Really scared. She wanted to tuck tail and run if she was honest. But she wouldn't. Everyone was willing to fight, even the humans. And she was strong now, she was a vampire. She had to stay and fight with the others because it mattered. She wouldn't run from her problems this time. They would be setting off in the morning to go to the school, they had one night to just do as they please before whatever came of them happened.

"Come on," Spike murmured as he came over to the sofa, tapping her knee. She blinked at him for a minute, so lost in her own thoughts.

"Are we going home?" she asked softly. They'd been staying between their place and at Buffy's since this whole thing started.

"Somethin' like that," he muttered, grabbing her hand and helping her to her feet. She followed after him, wondering just where they'd be going. Her mind was a mush, her brain feeling like it was moving through molasses to just think straight. The place was a ghost town. Everyone in Sunnydale had left after all the supernatural things that had been going on and Kat didn't blame them. Clem had even left and she'd been tempted to hop into his car and join him. She knew Spike would think she was a coward for how she was feeling so she kept her lips firmly sealed on the matter. It took her a while to realize he was leading her into the cemetery.

"Where are we going?" she asked, confused. He just shot her a boyish smile, not saying a word as he led her by her hand. Soon enough, they were at his old crypt.

"Figured we'd have a night just like old times," he smirked wryly. She felt a pang in her chest, smiling back at him as he opened the door. If she needed to breathe, her breath would have been taken away. The place was lit with candles, rose petals decorating the floor. She turned to look at him and he looked a little bashful as he shut the door and smiled at her.

"Wanted to make it nice for you," he shrugged, taking his duster off and tossing it onto the crypt. The place hadn't changed too much. All his stuff was still here, only now with a layer of dust.

"I have to be honest, I kinda miss this place," she smiled warmly, memories consuming her as she looked around the place. When she turned back around, Spike was on one knee staring up at her and her eyes widened a bit.

"Marry me," he murmured firmly. His blue eyes gazed up at her intensely and she felt like she couldn't move. When all she did was blink down at him, he swallowed thickly, looking more desperate.

"I know I don't have a ring, and this is… well it might be a tad out of the blue. But… if we make it outta this… I want you to marry me," he implored. It took her brain a while to digest his words. He wanted to marry her. Actually marry her. Husband and wife. As her mind tried to play catch up, Spike looked dejected, quickly standing up and brushing down his pants.

"Forget it. It-It was stupid," he muttered hurriedly as he turned his back, looking nothing like the cocky and confident man she knew him to be.

"I will… I'll marry you," she blurted, her eyes pricking with tears. His head whipped round to her then, shock coloring his face.

"You will?" he asked in a whisper. His tone hopeful as his own eyes looked damp with tears. She let out a wet laugh, nodding at him.

"Yeah," she shrugged with a smile. He laughed, rushing over to her and crushing his lips to hers as he picked her up. When he broke away, he looked awed and shocked as his piercing blue eyes stared at her.

"We're gonna make it out of this. Have to now. Gotta make an honest woman out of you," he smirked teasingly. She grinned, biting her lower lip.

"We'll make it," she nodded, despite the nagging feeling in her gut telling her something was going to go terribly wrong. She chose to ignore it because why shouldn't she? She'd been through so much, lost so much. She was finally happy and she was going to get married. She wouldn't worry about what was going to happen. Surely she deserved some good luck. She deserved a god damn break.

The next morning, she and Spike set off to meet the others at the school. She had a thick blanket over her, Spike using his duster to shield from the sun. They'd spent the night in bed at the crypt and she'd loved it. It reminded her of old times, simpler times. So she basked in his presence and his scent and just allowed herself a moment to stop worrying about the world. But now it was go time. When they got there, the others were waiting. They all marched into the school, dividing into different areas as Buffy instructed. She was with Spike, Buffy, Faith and some Potentials. Willow went into the principal's office for the spell for the Potentials. They had the others upstairs, making sure none of the Ubervamps got out. They were ready to end this. Once in the basement, they had to open the seal. Kat watched as Buffy sliced her hand, passing the knife to Faith. They passed it around the circle around the seal, everyone slicing their hands before they held their bleeding hands over the seal. It started glowing and Kat felt sick. It was too late to turn back and she felt guilty for even thinking it. The seal started to open and she felt a hand on her lower back. She looked to see Spike, using his free hand to comfort her.

"We can do this," he murmured firmly to her. She wished she had his confidence. But she didn't want him to worry about her. She didn't want his head to not be in the game and have him get hurt. So she forced a smile onto her face and nodded as the seal opened. It disappeared downwards, leaving a hole for them with stairs to climb down. One by one they walked down there into what seemed like a big cavernous cave. Spike was by her side, his hand once again on her back as they all walked to the edge of an opening and Kat felt her body turn colder than normal. There were so many Turok-Hans. Thousands if not more of them on the lower level of the cave, all growling and waving their swords around. She felt Spike's hand grip her jacket, dragging her back from the edge a bit. When she looked at him, he looked genuinely spooked and it made her feel even worse.

Buffy was giving all the scared girls a pep talk but all Kat could think about was her dream.

"Spike…" she murmured, her voice cracking. She felt ready to have an anxiety attack, which as a vampire, was a strange experience given her lack of needing to breathe. He schooled his face into a mask of determination as he looked at her, gathering her in his arms. She melted into him, taking in his soothing scent as she fisted his shirt roughly.

"It's gonna be fine, pet. Promise," he said into her hair. The way his voice wavered made it less convincing but she was grateful for him trying. Just as Buffy was giving her girl power speech, the Ubervamps noticed them, looking up at them. There was a tense moment where none of them moved, and then all hell broke loose. With a roar, the vampires ran at the cave wall. Kat stupidly hoped they wouldn't be able to get up, but once she saw them climbing, she knew they were screwed. Willow hadn't even done the spell yet.

"Fuck… oh fuck," Kat hissed, stumbling backwards a little. Was this it? Was she about to die and watch her loved ones go down with her?

"Hey, come on, Kitten. You can do this. We can do this," Spike insisted, suddenly in front of her. He rested his hands on her shoulders and the weight grounded her. She looked into his blue eyes, really taking them in. He believed in her and she believed in him. They had to do this. She couldn't lose anyone else. She wouldn't be able to take it. She took an unneeded shaky breath and nodded, readying her ax. She didn't feel the familiar thrill for the fight like she usually did. This was different. In a blink, the vampires had climbed up and the spell had been activated. She couldn't focus on Spike or Buffy. She couldn't afford to lose her focus on the fight. She knew they could handle themselves, better than she could anyway. If she was still living, or well, unliving, then they'd be fine.

She swung her ax mercilessly, taking off heads as he went and turning them into dust, kicking others back when needed. Everything else faded into nothing. Her only goal was to kill these assholes to protect those she loved. So she hacked and slashed, taking some hits and slices herself but never giving up. Never losing her determination. It wasn't fair. She'd been through too much shit for it to end this way. They all had. There had to be something better. There had to be more than this. They were all fighting with everything they had and at some point Kennedy had come down and tossed Buffy's scythe to her. It was carnage, but they didn't back down. She noticed some of the vampires running up the stairs but she couldn't go after them. She had to trust that things would be fine. And things were, until they weren't. Buffy got stabbed, right through her abdomen.

"Buffy!" Kat screeched, unable to get to her with the vampires surrounding her. She felt rage bubble up inside of her like nothing else, swinging her ax harder than before. She was grateful when Buffy stood, seemingly having more vigor for the fight than before she was stabbed. She started kicking some major ass and Kat was relieved. But then Spike started groaning and almost fell to his knees.

"Spike?!" she yelled, trying to get to him as she slashed her way through the Ubervamps.

"It's nothin', luv. No need to worry," he told her, a wry smirk on his face. But then she noticed the weird ass amulet around his neck. The one Angel had given Buffy. The one Buffy and Spike had been weird and evasive about when she asked about it. She felt a pit form in her stomach as she tried her hardest to get to him. He cried out again, stumbling back into the wall next to the stairs.

"Oh bugger," he muttered as the amulet started to glow. Kat almost screamed as a burst of energy erupted from him, creating a hole right to the outside. The sun was pouring down on him now but he wasn't on fire. Instead, beams of sunlight came from the amulet, instantly dusting the Ubervamps.

"Kat! Get outta the way!" Spike roared fearfully and she ran to a wall, watching on horrified. Someone yelled at them to get out, the cave shaking violently and rocks falling from the walls. With the Ubervamps being dusted, she managed to make her way to Spike as the girls rushed up the stairs.

"Take it off!" she yelled tearfully, wanting to rip the thing right off him herself but she knew she'd be dust if she tried.

"I can't, pet," he murmured softly, his eyes glistening with tears as he looked at her. His body was trembling as the light came from him and she couldn't help the sob that came from her throat.

"Don't do this, please take it off. We need to leave," she begged desperately. He looked pained, emotionally and physically.

"I can't. I need to do this. There's no other way," he implored sadly.

"You can't do this to me. You can't leave me like this!" she sobbed, her heart being ripped into shreds in front of her. He knew this was going to happen, or at least that it might, he'd come in here with that goddamn necklace on him. And he hadn't told her.

"I'm sorry, Katherine. I'm… so sorry… But you can go on without me… You're stronger than you think," he bit out through his pain, echoing the words from her dream.

"I'm not leaving you here! I'm not. I won't!" she wailed, shaking her head as the tears wouldn't cease. His face hardened then, a serious look to him.

"You have to. You have to go on and live for the both of us. I'll always be in there," he gestured to her heart, his lower lip quivering as he looked at her mournfully.

"You'll see me again one day, luv. But until then, you need to look after yourself. You need to leave," he said firmly, gritting his teeth. She shook her head vehemently,

"I'm not leaving you. I love you, I can't do this without you!" she wept angrily. She grabbed his hand and she felt it burning, could hear the sizzle coming from it. His eyes locked onto hers for a moment and she felt like she was drowning.

"I love you, Kitten. More than you know," he breathed softly. The cave started to fall in around them and her body jerked but she didn't let go of his hand. He tried to pull it from her grasp as their hands lit on fire but she wouldn't let him go. She couldn't. It hurt like a bitch but it was nothing compared to the pain in her chest.

"You are… everything to me. You're all that's good inside of me. You made me into a good man, a champion. I have to do this, Katherine. I have to," he said desperately.

"Don't leave me," she whispered painfully, vulnerability shining in her teary eyes. He frowned, looking pained as he shook his head.

"I gotta do this, I'm sorry. Slayer!" he yelled, looking over his shoulder. She was suddenly pulled away from him by Buffy. As a Slayer, she was stronger than the fledgling vampire who was screaming bloody murder as he was pulled away from him. A mix of pleading his name, threats against the both of them and just loads sobs. She barely heard him shouting that he loved her one last time. She wailed all the way up the stairs where she was dragged forcefully and she descended into a spiral of darkness. Before she knew it, she had a blanket tossed over her and was shoved into a bus with the other survivors and she was too out of it to even check who had lived and who hadn't.

She felt overwhelming pain. Like someone had punched a hole right through her chest. Everything caved in, starting with the school and as the bus drove hastily, the whole of Sunndaydale came down with it. Just outside of the border, the bus stopped and her body jerked but she remained unmoving. Everyone got out and she could hear them talking about the carnage, the hole that used to be Sunnydale. Spike was gone. Really gone. He wasn't about to pop back up and be okay. He didn't save the day and stay alive. He was dead. She'd lost someone else she cared about. She lost her soulmate. She'd never felt pain like it. Not when she lost her parents, not when she lost Joyce, not when she lost Buffy. She'd never see his bright blue eyes again as they gazed at her with adoration. She'd never see his wicked smile as he teased her. She'd never hear his laugh when he was elated in the thrill of a fight. She'd never again feel his strong arms around her, making her feel safe from everything in the world. She'd never hear his voice, teasing her or telling her he loved her. And in that moment, something deep broke within her. The blanket was still over her head, protecting her from the sun shining through the windows, creating a cocoon of pain. She glanced down at the twinkling silver on her wrist. The thing that was causing all of her pain and grief. If she didn't have a soul, she couldn't feel it. It wouldn't hurt her. It wouldn't feel like she was dying. Spike was gone. She had no reason to continue with her life. She was supposed to marry him, live her eternal life with him. And now she'd be alone. She'd lost her other half and she'd never felt so incomplete. So in her haze of anguish and grief, she stepped off the bus, in the opposite direction of the others too preoccupied with the chaos to notice her. She used her vamp speed to leave before anyone knew she was gone. She thought of her dream. She was so stupid, so fucking stupid. The dream where he burst into flames in the end. He'd done that the first time she'd had it. Did this mean he was always going to die like this? Did the Powers That Be hate her that much? She should have said something. Should have refused to go and not let Spike go. She should have done something, fucking anything. She'd kept it to herself, brushing her problems under the rug like she always did. This was her fault. He'd died because of her. And as she stood at the bus shelter, she glared down at her soul trapped in a bracelet, never more grateful it was so flimsy and Willow hadn't found a way to make it more permanent. She needed the pain to stop and she knew just how to do it. The bracelet fell to the floor with a clink and everything went dark.

—-

As Buffy dragged Kat away, Spike felt the burning intensify and he laughed through his pain. So this was it. Going out with a bang like he'd always wanted. Every moment in his life and unlife had led to this moment. He thought of Kat. Of the heartbreak and betrayal behind her blue eyes when she realized he'd known this could happen. Buffy had told him the amulet was volatile, although none of them really knew what would happen. But he'd gone into this knowing it might be the end for him. And he was doing it for her. To keep her unalive and keep her loved ones alive. She'd made him into a selfless man. He'd always known he'd give his own life to save hers and now here he was. He wasn't scared like he thought he might be. He felt relieved, felt like he'd finally righted all the wrongs he'd done. And he hated doing this to Kat, knowing it would hurt her to lose him. But she'd move on. The Slayer and her band of misfits would see to that. He couldn't take the amulet off once it was on, he had no choice. He had to see this through and he was happy to see how it ended. He'd go out on a blaze of glory, just like he'd always wanted. And his girl would keep on being undead and she'd be fine. She was stronger than even she knew. He hoped he'd see her again, not too soon of course. He wondered what awaited him in the afterlife. Would he get a happy ever after there with his sacrifice or was eternal damnation still waiting for him. Didn't really matter, did it? He was doing it for her and he'd gladly suffer the flames of hell if it meant he'd keep her safe. He closed his eyes, picturing her face, smiling at him in that way that made her look like she was glowing. It made a grin stretch onto his lips just as he burst into flames and the cave started coming down forcefully. The pain ended, and he was surrounded with bright white light.