Faint noise. What was that? People talking? Why are people here? Kat's senses were slow to come to and the sensation was similar to waking with a hangover. She had a bitch of a headache and the noise was faint, getting louder like someone turning a dial. As the noise grew louder, her fuzzy memories came back. Then she was just pissed. She remembered the fight with Buffy, Angel grabbing her. Spike. Spike was alive, but how? But then Angel injected her with something and Spike had been in on it. The betrayal ran deep and it stung her veins like poison. She sat up quickly, everything spinning as her body protested it. Her body still hadn't fully recovered but she was too mad to care. Her blue eyes darted around quickly, squinting a little at the light. She was in some kind of clear cage. Glass or plastic, she didn't know. The rest of the room was white, looking almost like some kind of laboratory. And as her eyes took it all in, they landed on the bunch of assholes that got her here in the first place. Buffy was standing there, watching her with her arms folded over her chest. She was covered in bruises and Kat smirked to herself. She'd have finished her off too if it wasn't for Angel. Next to Buffy was Willow and Tara, both of them looking quite nervous and Kat got a kick out of it. Then Xander and Anya were against the wall, Anya looking a little bored and Xander looking tense and pointedly not looking at her. Giles was noticeably absent, no doubt unable to cope with seeing his 'precious little Katherine' like this. Dawn wasn't here either. On the other side of Buffy stood Angel, watching her carefully with no expression on his face. And then there was Spike. Unlike Angel, he had a million emotions all over his face and Kat could practically taste them. He was anxious, worried, upset, guilty. Good. He should feel guilty.
In a flash, she was up on her feet and hitting the walls of the cage, making them all jumo. It was some kind of glass but it didn't break. Her fist hurt like a mother fucker.
"Let me out of here!" she screamed, her face shifting in her anger as she carried on hitting the glass. Spike stepped closer then, a contrite look on his face.
"Kitten… You're only gonna hurt yourself. Take it easy," he pleaded softly.
"Take it easy?! You did this! I trusted you and this is what you do to me? Shove me in a fucking cage?!" she yelled, her voice betraying how hurt she was by it. He looked pained by her words, blue eyes glistening as he frowned.
"It's for your own good," he muttered, trying to sound firm but failing. She laughed but it wasn't pleasant, leaning her forehead on the glass as her face shifted back. She looked at him with burning malice and he looked a little surprised.
"You mean, for your own good. Not mine. You're planning on shoving that soul back inside of me and I don't fucking want it. You want to neuter me, just like those assholes in the Initiative did to you! Is that fair?" she growled, glaring at him. His face fell and she could see the conflict all over his face yet he didn't speak.
"Is. That. Fair?" she bit out, fire in her eyes as they locked on his.
"Isn't the same," he defended weakly.
"Isn't it?" she asked with a derisive snort. "I'm finally free. I'm finally able to just be myself with no worrying about being a good little dog. I can finally reach my full potential and you wanna take it away from me! Why? Because I'm such a monster? Like you and that asshole over there are any better?!" she raged, slamming her hands against the glass and making everyone jump again. Spike's face hardened then as he took yet another step closer. She wanted to kiss him and stake him all at the same time and it was confusing.
"We were monsters. Not anymore, you told me that. We've got our souls back and we're trying to be good men. Just like you're gonna be good again when you get yours back," he said vehemently.
"I don't want it!" she bellowed loudly, making Spike's eyes widen a little. He composed himself quickly though, shrugging at her.
"Tough shite, pet. You're gettin' it," he muttered firmly.
It was only then that she heard chanting. She looked over to see Willow and Tara sitting on the floor, all sorts of trinkets lay out in front of them and a glowing orb in the middle of a circle. Her soul. Her top lip curled in disgust as she glared at the witches, running through all the ways she'd love to kill them in her head. Like hell they were shoving that vile thing back inside of her. But she knew their spell wouldn't work, so she watched with a dark smirk on her face, amused at their efforts. A wind started that was unnatural and wasn't coming in from outside, swirling the witches hair around as Willow's words got louder. It reached the crescendo and the wind stopped abruptly before all eyes turned to Kat to see if it had worked.
"Don't worry, Will, one in ten people struggle to get it up," she snorted, laughing harder at the witches crestfallen face when she realized it hadn't worked. Buffy moved closer to the cage then, drawing Kat's eyes to her.
"This isn't you, Kat," she frowned sadly. Kat rolled her eyes, this again. Really? She was bored of it now. Buffy continued before Kat got to vocalize those thoughts.
"Don't you remember how close we were? Remember when you moved in with us? Our girly nights watching movies and gossiping? When you'd comfort me every time I had boy problems? Don't you remember mom? How much she loved you?" Buffy implored, tearful and her voice wavering. Kat knew she was using Joyce as a way to draw some kind of emotional response out of her and she laughed, tilting her head patronizingly.
"You're lucky Joyce is dead, Buffy. 'Cause I'd kill her right in front of you just to piss you off. I guess Dawn will do nicely though," she shrugged with a menacing smirk. The look of shock and then anger on Buffy's face made her chuckle and Spike grabbed Buffy's arm, dragging her back from the cage.
"Look… You guys go back up there, figure out a spell. I'll stay here, keep watch," he said quietly to the Slayer. Buffy turned to look at Kat and Kat waved mockingly, earning a scowl from the blonde.
"Right," she huffed, moving to the stairs with the others following suit. As Xander walked passed, she couldn't help but say something knowing he hadn't looked her way once.
"What's wrong, Xander? Do I make you uncomfortable?" she asked with a sly grin. His good eye snapped to her then, full of anger and she loved it.
"Go to hell! You're not Kat!" he hissed, moving away as Anya put her hand on his arm soothingly.
"I'm Kat 2.0. Faster, better, stronger," Kat teased, enjoying getting under his skin.
Soon enough everyone had left but Spike and they both watched each other carefully.
"I can't believe out of everyone, you're doing this to me," she scoffed, shaking her head. He didn't say a word and it only served to annoy her more.
"You're supposed to love me," she bit out, absentmindedly rubbing her chest where a dull ache was spreading and she hated it.
"I do love you," he said fiercely, glaring at her as he moved forward a little.
"You know… I was never good enough for you, was I? And now it's just worse. You're still looking down your nose at me like I'm beneath you," she snarled, her hurt turning into anger. Spike looked thoroughly shocked at her words, his mouth floundering for a moment with a frown on his face.
"What the bloody hell are you on about? You know that's not true, it was the bleedin' opposite. I went out to get my soul for you because I didn't think I was good enough for you," he argued. She felt a stab of rage at his words and clenched her fists.
"Right… your soul. Like that makes you better than me. So desperate for attention, so scared to be rejected that you subjected yourself to torture, and for what? To be bound by shackles for the rest of your unlife? To be a declawed cat? You're pathetic," she sneered, watching with rapt interest as multiple emotions passed his face. The two main ones being pain and anger.
"I can't do this," he muttered tensely, swiftly turning on his feet and moving to the stairs.
"That's right! Run away, William! You're still as useless as you always were! Can't do anything right!" she yelled, her words devolving into an angry scream as he left and the door shut behind him. Not only was he trying to soul her back up but he just walked away from her like she didn't mean a damn thing to him. And it hurt. It hurt so much it made her want blood. Spike wasn't gone for two minutes before she heard the door open again but she knew not to get her hopes up. She could tell from the scent it wasn't Spike. It was Angel.
"Let me guess. They put you on guard duty?" she asked mockingly, seeing him get to the bottom of the stairs. He looked a little uncomfortable but he was trying to hide it.
"Something like that." he shrugged, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets.
"You know, I haven't stopped thinking about how good those nuns tasted. You weren't wrong about that," she smirked, eyes dancing with mischief as she watched him swallow thickly and look down. He didn't say anything and she licked her lower lip, leaning her shoulder on the glass as she kept her eyes on him.
"How are the cravings doing? You jonesing for some fresh human blood?" she asked slowly. She felt her own belly grumble at her words but she didn't say anything. She wasn't stupid, they weren't about to give her human blood here and she wouldn't drink any old crap. Not anymore.
"I'm fine," he bit out. But she saw his hands trembling when he removed them from his pockets.
"Mhm. Sure. I bet you don't miss it. How warm and fresh it is… hearing their heartbeat slowing down as the euphoria hits you…" she mused, delighting in his discomfort.
"That's enough!" he growled angrily, glared at her.
"Oooh… Is great grandaddy gonna spank me? I should have taken you for a joy ride like you wanted before I got you all souled up again," she purred, batting her lashes at him. He scrunched his face up, looking away from her again and she heaved a sigh.
"Being loyal to a dead man only for him to be alive but a traitorous asshole," she huffed, feeling her anger still swirling around inside of her.
"He's not a traitor," Angel muttered.
"Right… maybe not to you, but to me, very much," she snorted mirthlessly.
"He just wants what's best for you. He loves you," Angel frowned.
"Not anymore. He can't handle this version of me. He told me once that he'd love me no matter what, but I guess it was a bunch of lies. Not that I shouldn't have seen that coming," she spat bitterly. She should have known. She'd never be good enough for him, especially not now. Not with his soul and her lack of one. If only she could get rid of his. They'd have the time of their lives together.
"He still loves you, Kat. He just wants you back to normal. This isn't you," he murmured sadly.
"I really wish everyone would stop saying that," she growled. After that, Angel refused to speak to her, no matter how much she tried to goad him or get under his skin and suddenly, it wasn't so funny anymore.
She descended into insanity. Five days passed by and she only knew that because her vampire senses had become attuned to knowing when the sun had gone down. She'd been given the cold shoulder, not one word aimed at her, even when she prodded and poked and it irked her. She hadn't seen Spike since he'd stormed off and she hated that she missed him. Instead she'd been stuck with Angel, Xander, Wesley or Gunn. And she wasn't sure who had given the orders to not utter a word to her but she was sure it was Angel. She was starting to regret not just staking him and being rid of him when she had the chance. It was driving her crazy being stuck in here like this. No one to hurt, to kill or feed from. No one to have a conversation or argument with. She was losing it. And she was so goddamn hungry. They'd tried giving her animal blood through a weird hatch in the cage that only opened one way at a time but she'd painted the walls with it instead. She wouldn't resort to drinking that bullshit. Not unless she was on death's door. So now she was pissed off and starving. She screamed again, punching the glass full force to no avail, her fists a bloody mess. She'd been doing it now for hours with Angel watching her, looking like he wanted to say something but he didn't. She roared, headbutting the glass so hard it cut her forehead. The blood trickled down but she did it again even harder, ignoring the throbbing in her head as she did.
"Kat! Stop it!" he ordered firmly. His words were a little too late though. She was far too gone to care he was finally talking to her. She needed out of this fucking cage.
An hour passed with her hitting the glass in various ways, only serving to injure herself and not the glass. She was bleeding in many places but she didn't care. The desperation to get out was starting to claw at her and she felt like she was suffocating. Angel hadn't been able to get through her haze of anger and he'd sent different people to try and talk to her. Buffy had been first, but Kat had barely noticed her as she tried to break the glass. Wesley was next, then Gunn, then Anya and Xander. Even the witches had been sent in to calm her down. Their words all fell on deaf ears though. She couldn't see past the red fog behind her eyes. That was until the last person came down the stairs. Spike. He looked sad and tired. Like he'd not been sleeping. His hair was curly and not gelled back, his clothes rumpled and his duster nowhere to be seen. Seeing him look so much of a mess made her chest ache and she felt a glimmer of hope. Sure, he'd betrayed her once. But he was her only chance of getting out of here. She stopped her ceaseless banging on the glass and blinked at him a minute, aware she herself was a mess of bruises and bleeding cuts by this point.
"Spike…" she whispered, leaning her bloody forehead on the glass as she looked at him like a dog happy to see his owner. He looked pained by the state of her, slowly making his way over to the cage.
"You need to stop, pet," he murmured brokenly, his voice cracking as his eyes watered.
"Please, get me out of here. I'm so hungry. I need to get out. I don't care about you putting me in here. I'll forgive you, I'll forgive it all if you let me out. Please," she rambled pleadingly, not even caring about how pathetic she sounded. She needed to get out of here. She was losing her mind. She rested her palm on the glass as she looked at him desperately.
His face was soft and he held his hand to the glass over hers. She felt her chest bloom with warmth as he gazed at her and she could easily forget how he'd hurt her when he looked at her like she was precious like this. He seemed to really be listening to her words so she carried on.
"We can run away together and be happy. We could go to Greece like we talked about," she murmured imploringly. A little smile spread on his face and she felt relief spread through her body like wildfire. The smile slowly faded though as he took a long steadying yet unneeded breath and looked at her seriously.
"No," he muttered with a shake of his head. She felt like she'd been punched in the face, her hand recoiling from the glass like he'd burnt her.
"No?" she asked quietly, her voice monotone. He swallowed thickly, backing away a little from the glass and she felt her dead heart being ripped to shreds.
"I want my Kat back," he whispered. She felt something deep crack within her at those words. So deep and cutting, it would have hurt less if he'd jabbed her in the heart with a wooden stake.
"I'm right here!" she screamed, so full of rage and pain as she started pounding on the glass mercilessly, even when her hands started to swell again and get bloody, leaving smear marks behind on the glass. He looked so lost and heartbroken at the sight of her as she fell into insanity again, screaming and growling as she attacked the glass walls that caged her in. The door at the stairs burst open then and Buffy and Willow rushed downstairs. Spike glanced at them as Kat shrieked, throwing herself at the glass so hard she felt her shoulder pop.
"Spike, we need to talk to you," Buffy murmured urgently, sounding out of breath. Spike made a move to follow her and Kat stopped her assault on the glass.
"Don't you leave me. Not again. Not like this!" she wailed angrily, tears streaming down her bloodied face. He frowned, his own tearful eyes darting from her and then to Buffy who was impatiently waiting at the bottom of the stairs.
"Spike, this is important," Buffy said quietly. Spike looked back to Kat then, hurt all over her face.
"Don't," she begged in a whisper, shaking her head. He squeezed his eyes shut, lowering his head.
"I'm sorry, pet," he replied softly, turning his back to her as he followed the Slayer and witch up the stairs. Kat watched him leave her behind as she drowned in the pain. It swallowed her whole until there was nothing left but a screaming vampire who was beating her own body up to try to escape.
Spike closed the door behind them, moving down the corridor a little so Kat couldn't hear them. It had been the hardest thing he'd had to do, walking away from her like that. He'd felt so conflicted. Part of him had been damn near close to letting her out and taking her far away, like she'd said. He doubted he could rehabilitate her, with her lack of soul and all. But he didn't care. It would be better than seeing her like this. She'd full on lost it and it killed him watching her. He'd avoided her after the first day. Her words had been too hurtful, cutting him too deep. He couldn't bear to hear her say those things to him. Not her. So he'd been a coward, hiding out in their room with occasional updates from Buffy or Angel. But when he'd heard she was hurting herself, he'd had no choice but to try and talk her down. He'd seen Kat at her lowest numerous times but nothing prepared him for this. His soul was weighing heavily on him for this. All of this was his fault. If he hadn't have sacrificed himself, she'd never have felt the need to resort to this. And now she was a wild and cornered animal and he was scared she'd do something stupid. She seemed the type to rather die than wither away in a cage or get her soul back and it made him feel sick.
"What is it?" he asked brusquely. He was glad to not be watching Kat beat the crap out of herself, but he'd seen the pure hurt on her face when she begged him not to walk away and he did. He hated doing that to her. Hated her thinking he didn't care about her, because he damn well did. And she had no idea just how close he was to just taking her somewhere else and being with her, soul or not.
"I think we've cracked the spell," Willow beamed. Spike blinked at her for a moment as his brain tried to digest the words. He half expected her to start laughing and tell him it was a joke. But she didn't and he felt hope swell inside of him.
"Really?" he breathed, feeling like the crushing weight that had been pushing him underground started to lift.
"Really. This one's a little more… hands on than the other. But we can tranq her like last time, go in and grab her. I really think this is gonna work," Willow nodded confidently. And he believed her. Poor Red had been overworking herself to find a spell to work, not that he'd helped, giving her grief every second to get it done. But she'd been lacking in confidence and it had worried Spike. 'Cause if she couldn't figure it out, he didn't think anyone could. But now she looked more than confident and he knew she wouldn't if she even thought for a moment that it wouldn't work. He could have wept from the relief he felt.
"When?" he asked eagerly, clearing his throat.
"They just need to set up and then we'll do it," Buffy nodded. She looked as emotional as he felt and he didn't bloody blame her. Willow gave his arm a squeeze before she scurried off, presumably to get ready for the big hocus pocus.
Spike leaned against the wall, his body trembling with all he was feeling. It was overwhelming. They'd been fighting for this for months now and it had started to feel like it would never come to be. But now it was so close he could practically taste it and he was having a hard time containing himself. He was surprised to feel arms wind around him and then he realized the Slayer was hugging him. Her sniffles and shaking body made him think it was a little more for her benefit than his. He'd had to admit though, he had gotten closer to the blonde since Kat went all dark side. She wanted Kat back about as much as he did. They'd had a common goal. He pat her back somewhat awkwardly and when she moved away, he wiped his eyes quickly, clearing his throat, not wanting his image to be totally ruined after all this. She gave him a watery laugh, wiping her own eyes.
"We're getting her back," she murmured, sounding like she couldn't quite believe it herself.
"We are," he nodded, a full on grin on his face now. God, he couldn't wait. It had felt like forever. And he knew the next part would be hard on Kat, and in turn, hard on him to watch it. But it had to be better than what was currently going on in the cell downstairs. He'd help her through it and she'd be right as rain in no time. He'd finally have his girl back and everything could go back to normal.