After another exciting week of exploring the galaxy, finding asari matriarch writings and exploring boring lifeless planets, Shepard surprised us with shore leave. He is milking the circumstances as the council has some important information that the commander needed to pick up in person. We could all use a break. Even with my near limitless energy levels, some time off to recuperate will do us all some good. I was talking to Garrus when Shepard and Kaiden stopped by.
"After I visit with the council, we are having a guys night" Shepard said.
"Huh oh, Shepard's guys night never ends well. I might be losing another toe" Kaiden said.
"You are missing a toe?" I ask.
"It's a possibility," Kaiden smirked. A part of me is saying they are joking, the other part of me is slightly terrified.
"What do you have plans for?" Garrus asked.
"There is a private shooting range to test-fire experimental weapons, then maybe go to the club, do some gambling. Do you gamble *********?" Shepard asked.
"I used to. I love getting bonus games" I said.
"I know this salarian reel game that paid for my rifle" Garrus said.
"How much did you put in?" Kaiden asked.
"Enough to pay for half of the rifle" Garrus said shamelessly.
"I know you don't really use money but enjoy yourself. Give me your omnitool address and I'll give you credits. Consider it a bonus" Shepard pulled out his orange omnitool on his arm.
"I don't have one" I said
"If you have an omni tool, you should have an address" Shepard said.
"I do not have an omnitool" I said. This surprises everyone.
"How do you not have one? Why didn't you mention this before?" Kaiden asked.
"Never needed one before. What is the big deal?" I ask.
"What if you get lost on a mission or need to request backup? We are getting you one. It will be necessary for going on missions" Shepard said.
"There is a shop near the council tower that sells some decent ones" Garrus said.
"I am grateful for the gesture, however I don't care" I shout to the sore loser across the room "Hey Wrex you joining us for guys night?"
"Can't. Have personal business to take care of" he replied.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"I am trying to find something that was stolen from my family during the wars" Wrex answered. I internally inhale and make a noise of realization. "It's family armor. It belonged to my father."
"I'll help you get it when you are ready" I said. Wrex is thunderstruck.
"You would do that?" he said.
"I want to see you in your hand-me-downs," I said.
After our night is planned out I go to see the little engineer. She is working on a the ship's core. Her head slightly turns side to side to read her display. I believe she is attempting to… trying to… attenuate the uh… I give up. Whatever she is working on I am putting a stop to it.
"Hi Tali"
"Oh hey *********. Is something wrong?" she asked. Ooo an opportunity.
"The guys are having a night out. I am going to pull a disastrous prank on the turian councilor and will need you to break me out of jail again" I tease.
"Are you joking?" she looked anxious.
"Of course. Why?"
"Oh good. I can't tell with you. I sometimes get really bad anxiety sometimes and today is one of those days" she explained.
"What are you anxious about?"
"Not sure to be honest. Maybe that I haven't found a gift or maybe a task I forgot about" she said. People's emotions always have a starting point. Something is causing those feelings to emerge.
"How long has it been like this?" something about this feels familiar.
"It's been like this all day" she said.
When my breathing patterns were messed up, I felt something pretty similar.
"How are your air filters? Maybe they need to be cleaned?"
"It is not that. I already cleaned them. It does feel a little difficult to breathe" she said.
I observe her breathing pattern. Her shoulders slowly raise and lower. I got on one knee in order to examine her abdomen.
"Can you turn a little bit" she eyes me. "Trust me" she hesitates for a moment then slowly turns counterclockwise until her shoulder faces me. "Stop. Now just breathe normally."
I carefully pay attention to her body. She takes in a few shallow breaths. I order her to take a deep one. Her stomach is flat. It is not expanding at all. Something is causing her not to use her proper breathing muscles. Something is causing pressure and restricting movement.
"Tali, who made your suit?"
"When quarians reach the age to get their suits, we are taught how to design and craft our suits as it is the only real piece of property we can own so we take great care in it" she explained.
"Did you tighten the fabric around your tummy?" I asked.
"Yes, to make my stomach flat. It is an attractive feature in quarians" Tali said proudly. I am going to shatter that feeling for her own good.
"No wonder you have anxiety" I finish my examination and stand. "Humans have stretch receptors in our upper lungs. It helps release adrenaline, the fight or flight hormone. It is an advantage when activities force us to use our entire lung capacity. However, if our breathing is screwed up and we use our chest and shoulder muscles to breathe. If quarians work like humans, you probably have been squirting out drops of adrenaline when you breathe. My bad posture caused me to not use my diaphragm and use those muscles instead. It wasn't until I took up meditation when I realized what I was doing" I said.
"That does not sound right. What is a diaphragm?" she asked. She tilts and scratches her head. Does she even feel itchy?
"It is a muscle under our rib cage. It flattens when it contracts and pulls our lungs down to suck in air. If you have not used it in a long time, it will be stiff. Luckily you can fix it. You will need to do some exercises" I explained.
"No offense but this sounds a little crazy" she said.
"If you do not believe me, go ask the doc. She spent a decade training to be a doctor just to verify I am right. It will take time getting used to. You'll need to slowly strech your lower lungs. If anything, it will help your lungs absorb more oxygen. I got to go. I'll talk to you later. Remember to bust me out of the clinic when I fake insanity. Bring lots of rope" I leave the engine room. I really hope she takes my advice. I remember that feeling all too well. I use upper lung breathing as well as my other abilities to stimulate the fight or flight response if I want to push my body. It partially explained why I was an angry kid. My body was constantly telling me to fight something I did not know.
I spend some time talking to Ashley. She always seems happy to see me. I tell her about guys night, and she rolls her eyes.
"What?"
"I've heard the stories from my squad when they went off, I know it is code for strip club" she said.
"So, you don't want us to stop by and tip you?" SMACK "I WOULD HAVE BEEN GENEROUS" I gently massage the red cheek.
"I would make sure your ass did. You don't seem the type. What are you boys going to do?" she asked.
Jokingly I said "You are half right about not being the type. Sadly, they find me and won't leave me alone. I tried insulting them to make them go away but they actually liked it. Then I learned to ignore them. I have never seen women so enraged before. We are going to test fire weapons. I am hoping for one that heals slap marks from people that half-justifiably hit me."
"Ok maybe that was a bit uncalled for. You'll be good as new. You fought Wrex and lived" she scoffed.
"Your skin feels worse" her mouth drops. She readies a deadly punch. I raise my hands and surrender. "I'm leaving."
After a day of harmlessly annoying women, we arrive at the citadel. Shepard needed to see the council for a few minutes and then it is shopping, eating, gambling, all kinds of stuff. We had to wait outside the tower as we are not spectres, yet. What should have taken ten minutes took what felt like an hour. Garrus tried making small talk. He was not good at it. Kaiden did some things with his biotics, like how a child plays with a toy to distract themselves. When the commander returned, Garrus probed the spectre for what he was told. Shepard mentions they couldn't find any hits about Saren, but the female voice in the geth recording belongs to an asari matriarch. They are unable find her either, but her daughter is on a prothean dig site. She may have a way to find matriarch Benezia. Shepard also received funding from the council as they were pleased with our work. I will need to send them a picture of us gambling with it. Oh I can imagine those sweet, delicious faces of disbelief. HAHA. First is omnitool shopping. Garrus guides us.
"This is it" Garrus said. The shop looks like an electronics store you would see in a mall, except for laptops on shelves, it is boxes displaying various makes and models of omnitools. A salarian salesman lets us look around before coming up to us.
"Do you need any assistance?" he asked.
"We need to buy an omni tool for him" Shepard points to myself as I attempt to read the box. Buying laptops was bad enough. What the heck is a transparent hard hologram display or malleable opaque 3d feedback? My brow contracts in frustration.
"What are you looking for?" the salarian asks.
"An omni tool. I do not understand the differences between the brands or what it means" I said.
"Some companies market towards select species. Asari marketed omnitools have expanded to include humans so you will want the ones on this shelf. Now what features do you want?" the salarian asked. I turn my head towards Shepard.
"He needs something that allows for encrypted communications during our missions. He will need a bank account, extranet access, any other essentials set up for him" Shepard said.
"Is there anything you like?" Kaiden asked me. I take a moment to consider.
"I like blue. Can I get one in blue?" I ask. I feel like a child.
"The holographic display settings can be changed. Anything else?"
"Can I get the ones where the holograms can form a blade?" I asked. Now I feel like a man.
"Uhh omnitools can not do that" the salarian squints. Too soon apparently.
"Get him this one. Here try it on" Shepard hands me a box. I open it and see a large metallic ring.
"How do I put it on?" I examine the strange device.
"You put it up into your elbow. In order to open it you place your finger here and swipe down your forearm" Shepard explained the basics of the omnitool. He purchases it for me. Oddly the things I never ask for seem to be the things I cherish most. Never knew why exactly. Shepard transferred 1000 credits over. I have no idea how much this is exactly. I have been to places where a million in a local currency would only cover the cost of an apple and others where 0.10 can feed a family of five for a month. I'll research it later.
Afterwards we moved to c-sec for the shooting range. We got to test all sorts of firearms. Some of the weapons were to be tested to see if it would fit our needs, others were just for fun. Garrus fell in love with a massive silver and red sniper rifle that we learned was designed for krogans when he dislocated his shoulder on the first round. While Garrus gets ice, I asked the weapons caretaker for a variety of weapons.
"Do you have one that shoots lightning and explodes my enemies?"
"No"
"Do you have one with a chainsaw at the end?"
"No"
"Do you have one that opens portals in space to pass through?"
"No"
"Am I annoying you?"
"Yes"
"SUCCESS" I raise my fists up high.
"Hey, be careful with that one. There is something wrong with the ammo. The explosion size is unpredictable" the weapons keeper warned Kaiden.
"It can't be that bad" Kaiden ignores the warnings and fires a heavy round that completely vaporizes the dummies. Shepard and Kaiden are wide eyed. This is too dangerous for our needs. Most of our work is in buildings, a blast like that indoors is nothing but trouble. Also, the unpredictability made it undependable.
Shepard tried at least a dozen different weapons. I noticed he was examining the weight, recoil, and other attributes. Must be his N7 training. He works constantly. Does he ever relax and enjoy the moment? This is supposed to be a place of fake murderous fun.
"Hey dude, just chill and enjoy the destruction" I said.
"He is right boss, you can be a little uptight. Maybe take a break for tonight" Kaiden said. If they weren't friends, I don't think he would get away with that. Shepard contemplates. His face relaxes and a slight smile arises. "You might have a point. I want to try that one" Shepard points to a very unique rifle. It is brown and made of some kind of plastic. It does not have a flat body like the rest of the weapons. It kind of looks like a bug shell or something. It shots out a beam of light. It does not last long but the astounded eyes show him having fun.
"I like the damage, however it takes too long to cooldown and the accuracy is shit at mid-long range distance. Please tell the manufacturers this" the spectre tells the weapons keeper.
Shepard purchases some weapons for himself as well as some upgrades. We then make our way to a dance club. The music is fast paced, yet easy to follow along. No lyrics. The atmosphere is vibrant. There are humans, asari, turians, and a few volus. The gang orders alcoholic drinks while I have water. I will be the designated driver tonight.
"OH COME ON. That pass was completely legal. The reef is blind" Kaiden screams at a screen.
"What is that?" I point.
"It is biotical ball. The goal is to get it through those moving rings. I played a few games in training. It's harder than it looks, especially since the ring constantly moves and spins randomly. The zero gravity mid game should come on soon. The points are tripled and the game is much more chaotic" Kaiden explains. We enjoy the game and salty snacks.
A turian woman with green face markings along her cheekbones and jaw, highlighting her mouth and iridescent golden eyes strides over to our table. She is wearing dark brown leather clothing that looks something between casual wear and the typical turian armor. Her gait slightly exaggerates the sway of her hips, her legs are long and slender. Her sharp face evokes a feeling that we are being hunted, in a good way.
"Hi. I saw you earlier and couldn't take my eyes off you. I just had to talk to you" she said with a sultry tone. Garrus mandibles flutter in excitement.
"Hello to you too. My name is Garrus and it is a pleasure to meet you, miss?" Garrus holds out his hand.
"No sorry, I meant the human" she said. Kaiden amusingly watches Shepard and Garrus gets frustrated how the spectre has robbed him. Shepard is blushing a tiny bit.
"I am flattered, but I am..." Shepard is interrupted.
"I meant him" she points to me. No, not again. I lean my head back and close my eyes in annoyance. I was warned this would happen. I practically invite this. Just have a pleasant conversation with her.
Bewildered Shepard asked "Him? Really?"
I turn to my commander and squint "What does that mean?"
"I confess that I normally do not go for humans, there is something unique about you. I feel drawn to you. I kinda like it" she giggles. I reluctantly smile and shake her hand.
"Hi I am *********"
"I am Gorgo. Do you like turian women?"
"I am not picky"
"Is that so? Should I be worried?"
In a joking manner "Oh yes very much" this gets a laugh out of her. I smile.
"Funny too. Any other surprises?" she asks. The three stooges watch in disbelief. Kaiden is enjoying the show while Garrus and Shepard demand a refund.
"Lots and lots and lots" I said quickly.
"You will keep me on my talons. Are you single?" she becomes slightly shy when she asks me this.
"Yeah, however the current circumstances make it difficult for a relationship at the time. Shepard, isn't it true I could die in a month?" I ask.
"You are about to die right now" his voice is so serious.
"Do you even like turians?" I ask.
"You are upsetting the natural order. There has to be consequences for this" I didn't know Shepard could hold a grudge.
"Ignore him. Look you seem like a lovely person; however I am not in the place for a relationship as of now" I explain. Her hand touched my shoulder.
"It doesn't have to be anything serious. We can just try and see how things go" oh god this is super tempting. Experience ingrained into me I must decline.
"I do not do casual flings anymore. I am sorry" Garrus mandibles audible click.
"Really? I am disappointed" She said. I take her hands and look into her eyes.
"Don't be. You will find someone who will make your entire world spin. Someone who will make you happier than you can possibly imagine when the time is right. Trust me. I have seen it more times than I can count" I said.
"Really?" she softly asks, showing a hint of vulnerability.
"If that is what you want and put in the work to find it" I said.
She nods. Thanks, me for my kind words and returned to her friends. She has a pinch of sadness yet filled with a serene hope. I do wish she finds what I have not. A pair of ashy gray fingers pulls the skin of my mandible.
"What is the matter with you? Turning her down like that? She is beautiful and wants you. It would have been easy for you to take her" Garrus is pissed and pulling harder.
"Yes I could" I said somberly.
'What is the matter?" Kaiden asked. Garrus releases me.
I picked up my glass and twirl it around. I am looking for faces in the reflection. It is hard to tell with turians so I picked some asari and humans.
"Do you see the redhead to my right under the window? She is eyeing me. The asari in the corner is looking at me with disgust. The blonde and her friend are looking at me like a piece of meat" I mentioned. The guys take notice.
"A little secret about women is this. They tend to be attracted to guys full of life. It is evolutionary and subconscious. It is why they tend to go for bad boys, they have more life force in them as they don't suppress their emotions as it is indirectly tied, but they usually can not control it and that is why they are stereotyped as abusive. I, however, am saturated with life. This influences them. Women either want it, or are envious of it and hate it. Sometimes gay men can sense it too. It is why I freaked when Shepard hit on me" I said. This causes Garrus and Kaiden to look at the commander.
"You wish" He said.
"Now that you mention it, I am still grieving over Jenkins. Yeah, I can kinda feel it. What is it?" Kaiden asked.
"It is a side effect from my training and lifestyle. I could use this to pick up women, however sex is temporary drains me and they lose interest. I feel scummy afterwards. As if I took advantage of them" I explained.
"It's not like you forced them at gunpoint. Have you ever dated aliens before?" Garrus asked.
"I have dated non-humans before. I thought they would be different from humans. For a while I believed it was, although there came a point when I had to admit it was basically the same. It hit differently, but that is all there was" I said.
"How many species have you done?" Shepard asked.
"See this is the thing. I was taught to look for love, or at least someone I enjoy spending time with, but it seems like everyone else has turned it into a feel good escape or for bragging rights. That may be fine for others, but it left me feeling hollow. Maybe I am just burnt out, or the image in my head about relationships isn't realistic" I said.
"I kinda see your point. I had my run ins with a few men who only wanted fun and it never felt as good as I did with someone I loved. Keep looking, you will find someone" Kaiden said.
"I know I will eventually. I am getting tired of searching. I should take a break for a while. Let's change the topic to something more lively. Shepard, which crimes will we get to commit tonight? We need to set a record" I said.
"Get me a few more beers and we will see" the commander said.
"Can we egg the turian counselor's house?"
"Egg?" Garrus asked.
"Highschoolers do that for fun. Turians don't do that?" Kaiden asked.
"In bootcamp, we had our own rituals, the conditions on palaven made egg laying reproduction quite rare. I do have some ideas" Garrus said.
"Gentlemen, we are supposed to be the finest soldiers in the galaxy, not immature college kids. Let's just enjoy the night" the commander is loosening up.
"You just don't want to piss off your boss" Kaiden said.
"Every party needs a pooper, that is why we invited you" I sang.
The rest of the night was a blast. I got to see the famous Shepard shuffle. We (I) will be making fun of him for the rest of the trip. Kaiden used his biotics to do some really elaborate moves. Garrus's armor allowed for more movement than expected. I focused on the beat and did whatever I felt like. Afterwards we went gambling. I bet the lowest amount and had fun with the variety of games. I didn't know exactly what I was doing at first. I learned what was good. I didn't know how much I was winning exactly, but it is important to enjoy the little things. Shepard won a jackpot. I may have rigged it a little bit.