Today is the day we get the final member of the crew. The daughter of the esteemed matriarch working for Saren. It took the crew traveling to several systems and examining multiple dig sites to find out where Liara was. Her research on the protheans took her to distant worlds long forgotten. The weird thing was she visited ancient sites that other more established asari archeologists had previously examined. She is most likely searching for evidence to support her theory that the prothean history was intentionally erased.
The roster for today includes the brave commander, a driven gunnery chief, a smooth talking turian, a giant prick that annoys everyone, and Wrex. I tried to convince the spectre to include Tali. He thought her talents would be wasted on a dig site. My attempts to point out an alien dig site might have technology that her forbidden black magic talents will be beneficial. Shepard stood his ground. On one hand I am proud of our leader standing up to me, the other is mad we are going to face a colossus on foot without hacking protocols.
We loaded up into the mako and landed on questionable ground. The barren land produces steam from the lava underneath. Ashley said it was very unlikely that the ground would sink. This does not calm me. I constantly visualize the ground breaking and we fry in the lava as if the ice broke and we fell into a freezing lake during a tragic ice fishing trip. I know this won't happen. Ice floats because it is less dense than liquid water. The solid substance we are driving across is denser than lava. If we could sink, we would have. Ah crap, now that I am in thinking mode, I should have asked Tali for the hack. Oh well lesson learned for next time.
I am in the back seat of the mako, enjoying the ride. I gaze lovingly out my completely imaginary window and see the fake ponderosa pine trees that make me feel at home. The hot, dead, lifeless environment is just something I am not going to partake in. Garrus is manning the turret and notifies us the geth are present. I focus intensely on this one little screwhead securing a metal panel to avoid rolling my eyes.
Ashley asks, "What could the geth be doing here?"
Shepard speculates "Maybe Benezia's daughter found a beacon and the geth are protecting her."
Wrex appears to be sleeping. His large frame forces him to sit lower in the chair. His arms are crossed. His eyes are closed. The krogan abstains from the silence and asks "Is this asari a threat?"
Shepard thinks to himself. His first thought was we were here to question the daughter of a suspected partner to Saren. The geth activity has his mind going through scenarios then he imagined. Is the archaeology story a cover? Could this be a trap? No, it cannot be one as they are trying very hard to stop our advancement. If it was a trap, the enemy forces would attempt to redirect him, it's obvious the geth's goal is to eliminate us.
We make it to the end of the dirt… rock road and advance to our destination. The entrance to the dig site. We move slowly and carefully. The geth presence is heavy. The first half dozen geth were a breeze. I would repeatedly fire to drain the shields and Garrus landed hit after hit on the circular eyepiece. His sniping skills are next level. Ashley enjoyed her new toy the spectre bought her. It was some kind of grenade launcher. The launcher technology is rudimentary however the grenades contained a surprise. The blast would cause the metal to rust instantaneously. It was repurposed mining technology into a weapon perfect against the geth. The weakness is shields bounce the grenades away.
The next cohort of minions demonstrated to be the most challenging yet. A loud sound cracked from an invisible source. It was less than a foot from my head and to the left. I instinctively dropped and waited. My body moved before I was conscious of the movements. I don't feel panic, confused, yes.
"*********1" someone yelled for my name. I am still processing what happened to respond. Who even called my name? After a few seconds I roll to cover behind a tan porous rock and observe my surroundings. Shepard and Ashely notice my moment and flash a brief smile at me. Garrus is too busy sending rounds of love to the enemy to give attention to me. Wrex is… where is Wrex?
"RUURURHHAHHAHA" Wrex roars and is the center of the map. This is a dead zone. Despite this Wrex demolishes any geth in his way. His biotics shred… no vaporize three geth. He literally ripped apart another one and bulldozed the last one. The last two remaining geth would have fled if Garrus did not shoot them in their backs. Wrex stands tall. His hands are at least a foot from his hips. His entire torso expands and contracts, movingly slightly up and down as he breathes. A soft growl penetrates the air with each exhale.
I shout to Wrex "Whoa I gotta try that." He turns and looks at me with excitement and surprise. He marches over to me.
"*********! I thought you were dead" Wrex wore the biggest smile. I could see his crooked yellow teeth. He needs a dentist.
"Heh, I beat Jesus's respawn time. No big deal" Ashley snorts. I ask what happened?
"Your shield popped. It happens when a sniper round instantly depletes it. That is a good thing you dropped, or you would have been there and over here. A little on my boot. You would have been hard to scrub out" Garrus said.
I ask "So if I didn't have the shield, I would be dead?"
Shepard explained "If we didn't have shields, we would have worn helmets like during the first contact war. Given the distance and how mass effect sniper rifles work, you would have most likely lived." Oh, good I didn't cheat. I am not a failure. Shepard finishes "You would have had a concussion and maybe brain damage."
I stagger, take a step back and rub my temple. "Wait, you are on to something. I feel it. Maybe the communists had some good ideas. WHAT DID HE DO TO ME!" Shepard and Ashley almost die in a fit of laughter while Garrus and Wrex don't understand.
Before we advance to the tunnel entrance, Wrex walks up to me. He grabs my shoulder firmly, looks intensely at me for a moment and walks off. He should have realized he must enjoy my beautiful face before it explodes into colorful confetti of muscle and bone.
The area in front of the dig site entrance was filled with geth and a colossus. We took cover behind what we could. It was tight and hard to face our targets. Wrex kept firing biotic blasts. I focused on the jumpers. I hate those things. I use all my grenades to kill at least two geth. Slowly but surely, we eliminated the geth forces. We were forced to move to new cover when a blast from the colossus destroyed the crates protecting us. When the colossus was the only one left, it was so disoriented, processing all by itself. Ashley used her favorite weapon to eat away the legs after the rest of us took the shields down. We all unloaded from different angles until it died. It was a team effort.
"I am calling it. It is my kill" Garrus yelled.
"No man I call dibs. The credit is mine" I scream. I hear Ashley mumble boys and she shakes her head.
The entrance was a round metal lid with a rectangular shape permitting access. As we descended into the cavern, I noticed the concave lines all around us, a large drill made these. An abrupt change from rock to a strange metal announced we had arrived. The team enters the ancient site of a prothean building. It is at least 50,000 years old and still functional. It is amazing how something so old can still work. Why can't we build something like this? Oh, right planned obsolescence.
We scout the area and find no geth. Not one. This feels odd. I was expecting some on the stairs down. I'm taking it. No geth equals no work. After 45 minutes of searching what feels like the largest, most boring geode we find Liara.
"Over here. Can you help me I am trapped" the blue one says, and she poses like a vitruvian man from a davinci sketch.
"Calm down. My name is commander Shepard. Human alliance. What happened?"
"My site was being attacked by the geth. I ran inside for safety and activated self-defense protocols to protect me. In my haste, I activated and walked into a stasis trap. Please get me out of here." Liara begs.
"I will, I promise" the commander said. His tone of voice shows he means it.
I pretend to look for a way inside and slowly back up to find the giant laser. I examine the controls and pay close attention to the dial pad. The symbols are in a strange alien language, but the faded paint shows me which three symbols to press in order to get it to function. After eight attempts the looming machine powers on.
"HEY GUYS, we can use this to drill a hole under and get to her."
"I don't know if it is a good idea. The whole place might collapse" Ashley said.
I reply "No it won't. It will be fine."
Garrus said "Hey Mr. knowitall I think we should keep looking for another way."
"HEY I gave up my omniscience so opportunities like this would be fun" I was never omniscient. I just know a lot.
"There is no other way. We might have to" Shepard pointed out. A face of pure childlike joy and excitement forms across my idiotic face.
"SHEPARD can I do it?!" I hold the control button in my hand. I raise it up and extend my thumb in preparation. My right arm is shaking from the anticipation.
"Do it" Shepard said. I grin ear to ear and push the fun button. A red laser explodes the bedrock away. The whole area shakes then it dissipates. I walk over to the spectre.
"Dude that was scary. The whole room shook. Why did you let me do that? It was dangerous. You are supposed to keep me alive until retirement so we can play cribbage every day in our assisted living facility" Shepard is terrified.
"OHHHHHH NO! I am not spending my golden years with you. You are fine once in a while, but I WILL NOT tolerate you every day. You would be too much for me" Shepard said.
"So, ocean front condo?"
"Let's go get killed by a prothean booby trap" Shepard walks away from lovecraftian terror.
Surprisingly no alien Indiana jone booby traps. We walk inside a pale white circle that illuminates and rises. We ascend into the room with Benezia's daughter. Shepard sprints over and asks her something. I could not hear. He then shoots the control panel to the left which drops the asari. He kneels down and helps her up. The rest of the gang jog over and join the two.
"Thank you. I do not even know how long I was trapped. Does anyone have some water?" she asked.
"Here you can have mine" Shepard reached for something in his back pocket. It looked like a clear little ball. He offers it to her, and she swallows it.
"How is that water?" I ask.
"It is a special matrix that holds 2 liters within this little ball and releases slowly as you digest. Want one?" Shepard offers me one. I shake my head no. I don't want to swallow a man's ball.
"Now miss, I need to ask you some questions about your mother. We have evidence she is colluding with a spectre who betrayed the council. Do you have any information?" Shepard asked.
"My mother and I drifted apart. She has done questionable things in the past, but nothing of this nature. Benezia would not have done this unless she was being forced to. This way leads to an elevator that will take us above a level. There is a clear way out" she points to a room behind the platform we arrived in. As we walk, Shepard asks Liara a dozen different questions about the protheans and the beacons. I ready my gun and prepare for the next fight.
We rode the elevator upwards. Everyone else is relaxed while I am on high alert. As the platform rises, first I see the edge of the floor, then I see the feet of my enemies. I count as many as I can. I count… no.
The Krogan leader is followed by at least thirty geth with him. It's six-one. Some schools say you must retreat when it's four to one. We do not have this option. Everyone raises their weapons and Liara weakly puts up a biotic shield. She does not have the strength to fight.
"Give up human. Saren wants this one to himself. I don't really know why, and he paid me enough to not give a damn. Krogan what are you doing with these weak whelps. Did you find your people?" the krogan general mocks Wrex.
"You are not going to risk a firefight. The cavern can collapse at any moment" Shepard states.
"Maybe. Maybe not. All I know is that the asari belongs to me. I'll get to play with her a bit before I hand her over" the warlord licks his lips. Shepard is enraged. I am sickened.
"If you want money, we can pay you triple" Garrus offered.
"Sounds good but these machines behind me won't let that happen. Give up and I'll make your death quick. Entertaining but quick" the krogan chuckles.
Wrex whispers to me. He orders me to shoot the silver gas canisters on his mark. He slowly charges up his biotic aura which makes Liara turn around. Wrex nods to her and she nods back. Wrex sends a massive blast and rushes towards the geth. I shoot the containers. The shrapnel depletes the shields of all geth near its vicinity. Ashley instinctively takes out the geth. We spread out and do our best to manage the remaining geth. The goal is to get to the exit. The cavern is shaking. Worse than when I dug the tunnel. I am face to face with the krogan mercenary. Shit.
"Lookey here. I got a human all to myself." he lowers his head and stares at me. This is bad. Everyone is trying to survive, and I am out of grenades. My weapon is cooling down. I have to make a distraction. I don't think my abilities will be needed if I can enter something I used to detest and fill my soul with hate. I close my eyes, lower my head, and focus on my breathing.
"Surrender" I whisper.
"Excuse me?" he asks.
"SHUT UP! I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU!" I take a sharp inhale. I focus on filling my upper chest and allow myself to feel anger.
"Surrender" inhales even deeper. Feel my lungs stretch. I enter a stance and contract every muscle I can. I place my awareness on my adrenal glands and activate my first energetic generator to its limits.
"YOU WERE BORN WITH ALL THIS POWER. FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE LET GO AND RELEASE IT. LET GO. LEEETTT GOOO OOOOF IT ALLLLLL! AHHHHHHH" I scream from the intense pain. It feels like every blood vessel is being ripped apart and burned. The lighting in my veins is overwhelming. The wave of anger is the worst part.
"AAHHH AHHHHHHHH" the geth turned my way and so did my friends. A bought a distraction. I will only have enough blood in my brain for one thought. It is the only thing I can control in this berserker state. Remove all obstacles. I am enraged. I AM PISSED OFF.
I gut punch the krogan. An off is heard. My knuckles kneed his anterior vertebrae. My forehead makes contact with his plate and pushes him back. I use everything. I punch his jaw with my right fist. I rip something off his head with my left head. I swiftly turn around and roundhouse his quads. The mercenary is lifted above my head. I see the fear in his eyes when I throw him against the geth. My primal screams stain the stonewalls. The cavern is collapsing. We rush to the exit when I hear a scream. I turn around and see Garrus pinned by a large stone block. His leg is broken. I sprint towards him. He tried to tell me to go but I do not have the mental energy to process vocabulary. I remove obstacles. With one hand I lift the useless rock and carry Garrus on my back. I sprint and shriek towards the exit. I black out and the next thing I remember is resting against the mako. My body is drained, and I breathe quickly and deeply. I forgot how high my chest could go.
A few minutes later I recover and enjoy the flood of endorphins. I almost feel blissful. Garrus is inside the Mako bandaging himself. The rest of the crew meet us. My eyes half open. I say hi. They look at me strangely but with an old sense of familiarity.
"THAT WAS AMAZING. I didn't know humans could have a bloodrage" Wrex pounds his fists together and applauds my display.
"What was that?" Shepard asks slowly.
"Remember my anger issues from my sickness? I still remember how it felt and with my training and techniques, I can unleash it. I hate it but I thought it was necessary. It exhausts me. Can someone help me inside?" Wrex pulls me up and helps me into my chair. My muscles feel like jam. Liara rides upfront with Shepard who calls for evac. Wrex is in front of me and is grinning. Garrus is to my right and just stares at me. I can't read him. The space is silent. I look at Ashley who wears that face. Fear. My brows twitch. I feel sick to my stomach. I shut my eyes, blocking the tears from pouring out. I slow my breathing to stop the flood of sadness. I turn myself off.
A bleep notifies the quarian engineer. She is excited to meet the asari. She is a social butterfly who loves her people and likes aliens if they are respectful towards her, a rarity. The ship has landed and the mako pulls up. Kaiden meets her there. His lips form a concave shape. Smiling humans called it. It means they are happy. She is still learning faces. Her culture of wearing suits every moment had made her an expert in body language. Amazingly, most aliens have the same body language.
Shepard and Liara slowly exit the mako first. Kaiden's face drops and his chin slightly raises. Did something bad happen?
"Did?..." Kaiden almost inaudibly ask. This catches Tali's attention and makes her anxiety flare up.
"What happened?" Tali's heart is racing. Beating outside of her chest.
"********* did something…" Shepard said. Tali's heart falls into her stomach. "Is…" ********* appears from the corner of the mako. He is alive, but he looks very different. He is walking so that is a good sign.
"Hi ********* I have done those breathing exercises you suggested. They helped alot" Tali stands on her toes and land backs her heels. ********* flashes a smile but does not speak. Something is wrong. Dr. Chakwas was notified and helped Garrus into a gurney. Everyone else cautiously enters the elevator and is a step more away from *********. He stands in front of the elevator with his hands in his pockets. This is unusual. He usually stands behind everyone. He protects them from the rear. Now he is leaving himself exposed to everyone. When the elevator opens, ********* does not even wait for the doors to open fully before he steps out.
The team heads to the debriefing area, but before that Tali pulls Kaiden's shirt and asks if ********* seems sick.
"Not sick, but something definitely feels wrong. I don't think we should ask for now" Kaiden said.
********* is the first to take a seat and it is closest to the door. It is not his usual spot somewhere in the middle. Commander Shepard tells Kaiden and Tali the details of the mission. Wrex's movements are like a childs when something about ********* is mentioned, except for the sniper incident. When the commander continues after they found Liara, he glances toward ********* whose arms are crossed and his eyes closed.
"OH it was amazing. ********* bloodraged a krogan mercenary and threw him around like a varren pup." Kaiden and Tali look at me. "I don't want to talk about it" ********* said.
Shepard reveals his knowledge of ancient prothean visions to the asari. Liara mentions her knowledge of the protheans may be able to help him. She melds with him. ********* eyes finally open. Shepard almost fell over from the process. ********* reached to catch him but retracted for some reason. When the debrief is over, ********* left immediately and Kaiden was asked to stay. Tali hid in the doorway to eavesdrop.
"What happened out there?" Kaiden asked.
Ashley and Shepard looked at each other, begging the other to start.
Shepard explained "After we found Liara, we moved to the next floor where we were ambushed by a korgan and a couple dozen geth. We almost died. There was a moment of confusion during the fight…"
Ashley continued "********* went apeshit. He was screaming the loudest screams I ever heard. He annihilated the krogan with just his fists. He literally tossed a 400 pound krogan across the room. He looked like a monster. I felt like I was in the room with a demon. Then Garrus got pinned under the rubble. He picked it up like tissue paper and charged with Garrus to the mako. I don't feel safe with him here."
Tali turns her head. This can't be true.
"That does not sound like ********* I know he is strong and adrenaline can make us superhuman but still. He does not seem like the type. He confided in me his greatest fear is losing control of himself" Kaiden said.
"Now we know why" Ashley said.
"What do you want to do?" Kaiden asked.
"I really don't know" Shepard confessed.
Tali heard enough of this discussion. ********* has only shown to care about the crew and would do anything to protect them. The way he looks for danger whenever we would walk around the citadel just in case. How he puts everyone else ahead of himself. How he hates, but tolerates poor behavior, except for that rude salarian. He tries to make people happy and safe. To better those around him.
"I have been eavesdropping. I think you should hear my opinion on *********" Tali enters the room.
"What is it?" Shepard asked.
"Since ********* stepped out of the mako, he has been doing everything he could to make himself vulnerable. He isn't speaking. He showed his back to you in the elevator and kept his hand in his pocket. This gives you a time advantage if he was to attack, he wouldn't I don't believe it. He sat close to the exit. When you were melding with Liara, he was going to catch you if you fell but stopped himself. He cares about everyone here and he knows the effect he has on people" Tali explained. The three humans look at her perplexed.
"Since my people wear masks we are experts on body language" she explained.
"Tali you weren't there. I saw him. He was like a wild animal" Ashley said.
"One who saved Garrus's life in that whatever. Besides Wrex could do the same or worse. Why don't we kick him off the ship too?" Kaiden said.
"It is different. I expect that from Krogan. I do not trust *********" Ashley said.
"What are you going to do Shepard?" Kaiden asked.
"I need to talk with him."
The commander waited an hour to build up enough courage to talk to *********. I do not want to cause him to explode. Shepard slowly strolls to the Kaiden's room with a pistol on his hip. Garrus is there and walking. He is talking to ********* in the doorway.
"Should you be walking?" ********* asks.
"Miracles of modern medicine. I am fully healed. I wanted to thank for you saving my life. I would be dead if not for you" Garrus said. ********* looks down and a sad smile manifest.
"Thank you Garrus" ********* said.
"Are you alright? You seem upset" Garrus asked.
"I need to be alone. Thanks for stopping by and cheering me up. I really appreciate it" ********* said.
"If you need anything and I mean anything let me know" Garrus walks away and runs into Shepard. Garrus asks if he is going to be ok. The commander can't give an answer. Shepard knocks on the door and comes in. ********* is sitting on the edge of the bed. He stares at the floor.
"Do you want to tell me what that was all about?" Shepard folds his arm.
"There were so many geth. We needed a distraction, and I was in a corner. I thought it was our best move. I am so sorry for the concern I caused" he said.
"You scared the hell out of us" Shepard said. ********* swiftly exhales.
"You look at me when I am talking to you" ********* eyes meet Shepards. They are full of pain. The veins rooting from his iris. The strain that can be seen holding back. His eyebrows repeatedly twitch. He is using all of his will power to not break. The spectre partially unfolds his arms, unsure what to do. All his fear of his friend is gone and the desire to comfort him arises, but something urges him to stay. ********* looks back to the floor.
"Can I be alone sir?" ********* never called me sir. He would make fun of the hierarchy whenever he could. Nothing disrespectful, just lighthearted and creative pokes at my expense. He never once called me sir. ********* is not asking, he is begging. Shepard nods and slowly leaves the room. When the doors close, he takes a very needed deep breath. Tali is there.
"What is happening?" the young engineer asks.
"He is really struggling. I think he needs some time" Shepard walks away, thinking about what he should do.
Tali stands in front of the door. She hesitates but then knocks.
"Who is it?" ********* asks. His tone of voice seems normal.
"It is me" Tali said.
What is Tali doing here? Why is she knocking at my door? I should let her in. I stand, quickly rub my eyes and open the door. I pretend nothing is wrong and greet her.
"What is up?" I said.
She pauses. "The ceiling?"
I rephrase "I meant how are you?"
"Good. I heard the mission was difficult. Do you want to talk about it?" I don't know why but I let her in.
"What happened out there?" she asked. I sit on my bed.
"I don't want to talk about it" I said.
"Why not?" she asked.
"It hurts" I explained.
"What if I promise to not make fun of you. I'll perform the quarian vow" she offered.
"Is that even a thing?" this sounds fake.
"I won't tell. What is wrong?" I do not know why I am confiding in her but I am going to.
"When I was a kid, I was sick. Something was wrong with my body, and it basically caused the stress hormones and adrenaline to constantly go off. It made me strong but angry nearly all the time. Of course other kids liked to make me explode and it made things worse. When I found out what was wrong my anger slowly faded away. The connection remained and I can activate my adrenal glands at will now. Have you ever heard of the stories of human mothers lifting cars off babies? It is exactly like that. I never hurt anyone. I was at least able to control that" Tali sits down next to me. Her silver eyes nonjudgmentally stare at me. It is comforting.
"Is that a bad thing? You saved everyone"
"Afterwards when we were in the mako. I saw Ashley's face. She was terrified of me. With humans, they do not like seeing what we can do when we are mad. It scares them both because I am scary and it reminds them what they could be capable of if they let themselves go down that road. It does not matter if I control it or why " A tear flowed down my cheek then two more. "I don't like people being afraid of me. I am sorry. You are just easy to vent to"
"It is alright" Tali places a hand on my shoulder. I retract but then relax.
"Is this ok?" she asks.
"It is fine I am not used to being touched" wait crap no. You spend centuries in the energy form, exploring the planes above the multiverse you forget what it is like being touched.
"What about friends?" she asked.
"Oh yes, let's be friends with the strong guy with anger issues. I don't have any friends. I got treatment and moved. I tried making friends in new places but no luck. I had acquaintances and people I was sociable with but never any true friends. But this place felt different. I have been to alot of places but here it feels different. As if I belonged here. I know nothing lasts forever and maybe I was fooling myself, I just wanted it to last a bit longer. I guess I'll have to move on again."
Poor *********. I lived in a suit my entire life. Sure, I was physically cut off from everyone else but I never was alone. I had my father, auntie, and people I considered my brothers and sisters. We couldn't make skin contact but I would bump into my ship mates, hug those close to me, but to be exposed, alone, and not having people to rely on. I understand why he is strong, he had to be to survive. How could no one want him? This isn't right. I lean over to hug him. I tell him I am his friend, and I will never be afraid of him. He cries and thanks me. He asks to be alone so he could rest. He is physically and emotionally exhausted. As I leave the room, he tells me I "no longer owe him one."
I continue the rest of my shift and meet everyone for dinner. Ashley is asking Shepard to make a choice about *********. Shepard is unsure what to do. I tell Ashley how ********* is so upset for scaring everyone and feels horrible about it.
"Seriously?" Ashley asked
Shepard speaks up "When I went to talk to him, he was on the edge of tears. I told him he scared us. At first I thought he was being dismissive but when I looked at him, he had this face I will never forget."
"I think he is lonely" Tali said.
"********* mentioned his family is gone. He didn't want to discuss details. I am starting to wonder how long he has been on his own" Kaiden said.
"I am surprised you aren't making fun of ********* Wrex. Something about you only can count on you" Garrus comments.
"Are you kidding? On Tuchanka being clanless kills you. Then an animal comes and makes you die" Wrex said.
"Does he really feel that badly?" Ashley asks.
"He won't hurt us" Tali said.
"Oh. We should talk to him. Invite him to poker" Ashley said.
"You will forgive him that quick?" Shepard asks.
"I was concerned for my safety. I was a little scared of him. Not bone chilling terrified. Someone feeling that much guilt wouldn't harm us. I remember this time some kind of alien bug made it past the sanitation protocols. I almost stomped on it but ********* stopped me. He picked it up and carried it outside. I misjudged him" Ashley stands up and drags Kaiden with her.
I woke up a short while ago. Should I leave this universe? Is it time for me to go? Normally I leave when I feel like there is nothing more for me. Now I feel like I should just go. I overstayed my welcome. It was fun being here, but I may need to leave. I'll go somewhere to calm myself for a few weeks then attempt to leave. Maybe I'll explore the higher planes or just go somewhere random again. Will I ever find something to fill this hole in my soul?
A series of sounds comes from my door. I go over and open it to see Kaiden and Ashley. Kaiden looks normal. Ashley looks strangely friendly. This situation feels off. Ashley was terrified of me earlier and now she is smiling. This does not happen.
"Wha. what is going on?" I ask.
"Tali told us how you are feeling" Kaiden said.
"She what?!" I feel exposed and ashamed. I look away.
"You did give me a pretty good scare earlier" Ashley said.
I close my eyes, clench my jaw, and ball my fists. I want to stop feeling so sad. I can't even face them.
"I know you are feeling horrible right now. Yes you can be scary, however I think the question should be 'would you hurt us' and I do not think you will. I was never terrified of you, shaken maybe" Ashley said.
I open my eyes and turn to her. "You are not?"
"Never. If you feel up to it we want to invite you for poker night" Ashley said.
"Thank you. Thank you both. I will" I am profoundly grateful.
Kaiden and Ashely leave me alone to recuperate. I feel relieved. Like a weight on my shoulders has been erased. My soul feels different. There is an almost unnoticeable sensation on top of my scalp, and I feel heavier in a good way.