22.08.2020

It's a me again and today I have something... different. It's a short collection of shots that happened between the previous two chapters. It's complete crack and basically doesn't add to the story... and there are not buts. It's just crack, read it if you want to!

I won't reply to the comments, but I'll be keeping score.

It's currently 4:1 for More than Human if I counted correctly, so... yay?

Anyways, the shots!

How to survive a partial decapitation?

"Okay, let me get this straight, you want me", he gestured to himself and then to the other two setting next to him, "to jam a sword that's almost as long as me into their neck? And why one?"

"Worry not Midoriya, I have everything thought out", Yanagi stated as she sat in front of the trio.

"You better share it then, cause this girl is too young to die", Tokage said with a mix of fear and slight anger.

"There's this one scene that I'm planning to do, where the Knight fights a Bandit Boss and decapitates him. To do that, I was thinking that you could hop onto Todoroki's back and then just detach your head as the sword nears your neck", the ghostly girl explained.

"Using our Quirks in the play is a brilliant idea!", Midoriya was first to speak up after a few moments of silence.

"I'm glad that you like it. I also have many other tricks that I would like for some of our actors to try out. I have even came up with one trick specifically for you"

"Really?!", the greenette jumped out of his seat and was in her face immediately. This in turn startled the 1-B heroine as she let out a surprised yelp and backed into the couch.

"W-well, since your Quirk lets you generate lightning, I was thinking that you could try and channel your Quirk into the sword to make it seem as if it was enchanted", she answered, completely aware that he was far too close.

"I never thought about using my Quirk this way!", the Augmented Hero shouted and stood up. "I have to test your idea right now!", he added before storming out of the common room.

Tokage, Todoroki and Yanagi sat in silence for a few moments, before Lizardy broke it.

"Well… that happened…"

Outburst

"I can tell you about the Ritual, but it'll cost you", the Oracle whispered seductively near his ear and licked her lips.

She was standing as close to the Knight as possible, her every curve mashing against the cold, black armor. Her hands were exploring the rest of his suit as she stared up at him with a sultry look in her eyes.

"Cut, cut, cut!", Yanagi yelled from the sidelines with pure rage on her face. "You are supposed to play a lizard oracle not a lizard slut! God fucking damnit!", Midoriya stood still as if Todoroki froze him inside a glacier, not expecting the reserved girl to have such an outburst.

"Yanagi, language!", both Shiozaki and Iida shouted on reflex, the girl readying her vines and the boy doing his typical hand chopping stuff.

"Shut the fuck up!", Reiko exploded and started berating every present cast member.

"Shit…", Tokage cursed and turned in Shiozaki's direction. "Ibara, Y.C.P. Alpha-Zulu-Foxtrot, authorization code Cereal!", the christian girl reacted immediately and grabbed her ranting classmate, before throwing her through the roof.

Both Midoriya and Yaoyorozu had their jaws on the floor and they weren't looking as they would be able to speak for at least a few more moments. Iida on the other hand has already passed out from the amount of profanities he heard in such a short timespan.

"What does Y.C.P. stand for?", the greenette asked as soon as he got rid of the shook and collected his jaw from the floor, whilst his friend was still in the process of rebooting.

"Yanagi Containment Procedure", Kodai answered. "She goes like this at least once a week, it's her way of venting. Being so stoic takes a toll on one's sanity", she spoke with the same calmness that Reiko usually had, which made Midoriya wonder if Yui also snapped from time to time.

"Do you also vent like that?", he asked after a few moments of thinking.

"No. I'm just an aggressive biter during sex"

"Woah! Woah! Woah! Too much info! Too much!", the greenette yelled as he hastily backed off and turned completely red.

"You were asking, so I answered", the blackette answered and Midoriya could swear that the smallest of grins appeared on her face.

"Um, where's Kendo?", Shiozaki wondered out loud after looking around the spacious room.

"I think she went for a walk or something, why do you ask?", the slowly coming back Iida answered.

"Someone has to catch Reiko!", the Vine Quirk user shouted and ran out with Tokage right behind her.

"Does that mean that the rehearsal is over?", Kaminari broke the silence that settled in with Ibara's and Setsuna's departure.

"Yeah, let's take a short break. Or a longer one", Midoriya prompted and lifted the once again unconscious Tenya. "Your class is way more random than I anticipated", he said to Kodai as he passed her, to which she only hummed in agreement.

Kissing

They sat on the opposite sides of the table, eyes locked and determination on their faces. Their brows were furrowed and they were concentrating as if their lives depended on it.

"What are those two doing exactly?", questioned Kendo as she walked into the room.

"They are trying to figure out how kissing works", answered Yanagi, who was currently making small changes to the script.

"What's there to figure out?", the redhead wondered out loud and two heads immediately snapped in her direction.

"The angle, positioning, lip placement", they listed off in unison.

"Come on! It can't be that hard…", the Big Sis of 1-B said dismissively.

"Have you ever kissed anyone?", Tokage asked with a grin from across the room.

"T-that's not important!"

Meanwhile, Midoriya and Yaoyorozu were back to their staring contest. It was short lived however, as Kodai decided to approach them.

"You want some help?", she offered.

"I think we will manage, but thanks for the proposition anyway", the green haired teen rejected with a polite smile.

"It may be for the better", Yui hummed more to herself than to them, but still managed to make them curious.

"Why is that?", Momo questioned with a confused frown.

"Because it could quickly escalate from kissing to… venting…", the normally stoic Kodai put so much emphasis on that word that even a brick wall would've felt the hidden message.

"What do you mean venting?", Yaoyorozu inquired before she felt a strong gust of wind.

She looked at the seat in front of her only to find that Midoriya had mysteriously vanished. First, she was confused by Kodai's explanation and now her friend was missing too.

Also, why is Yui grinning?

Dad jokes

"Okay, okay", the Pro managed to say in between fits of laughter, "what do you call an alligator that's constantly apologizing?"

"I don't know Retro!", his companion shouted with teary eyes as he tried desperately not to pass out from lack of oxygen.

"Sorrygator!", and the two men started laughing like maniacs once again, much to the vibrant haired man's sister's dismay. "I have another one! W-what do- What do you call- Fuck! I can't-! I'm fucking done!"

"You and me both…", Kuse thought idly as she scrolled through various news on her phone.

Apparently, Endeavour and Hawks are getting married, at least according to the tabloids. And they even have a kid on the way… Tabloids…

"Come on Retro, I belie- I believe in you!", Kairo shouted towards his friend.

"What was Issac Newton's father's name? Issac Oldton!"

The jokes were getting, in Kuse's opinion, more and more shit as time went on, but this one took the cake.

"Are you guys like five or something?!", she shouted as she got up from the couch.

"Oi, as a newly established father I do have the ability to tell dad jokes!", Retro rebutted whilst trying to control his laughter. Trying and failing. Miserably.

"Chill out Kuse, they're not that bad", her brother tried, and failed, to calm Kuse down.

"Don't you 'chill out Kuse' me! Retro was supposed to say what his investigation into the Yakuza uncovered!", she reminded them with an authoritative glare. "Instead, all you've been doing for the past three hours was dick around and tell dad jokes! And I would like you to remember that so far, I'm the only woman that is somewhat willing to give you the time of day without payment"

"How do crocodiles say their farewell?", Retro whispered not as sneakily as he thought he did.

"How do they say their farewell?", Blackout whispered not as sneakily as he thought did back.

"Later gator!", they both erupted into another fit of laughter.

"I'm done…", Kuse thought with a sigh and left the room.

She didn't even slow down when she heard two chairs hit the ground.

Dispute

"You are holding it the wrong way around!", Jiro yelled for what felt like a hundredth time. "There's no way that I'm letting you even touch an instrument during the festival at this rate!"

Seriously, what was so complicated? She taught him the basics and showed many different tricks herself. She even asked Midoriya to help compile her knowledge into an easy to read format! So why was Kaminari making the same mistakes over and over again?!

"I'm done, it's almost midnight and though it's not a school night I have to get my sleep. Now get out!", she snatched the guitar from his hands and set it on its rightful place.

"I'm trying my best you know?!", he answered angrily and got up from her bed.

"Your best is not enough!", Kyoka shot back immediately.

"Maybe you demand too much?!"

"Maybe you are too stupid?!"

"Maybe you should go fuck yourself!"

"Come here and fuck me yourself you coward!"

"M-maybe I will!"

"I-I would like to see you t-try!"

"Watch out, h-here I come!"

She had a rebuttal ready somewhere on the end of her tongue, but it never saw the light of day. It had no chance to, since Jiro found a better thing to do with her tongue and god was it a better option.

Midoriya, having finished his morning routine, was sitting in the common room and scrolling through some news on his phone.

Apparently, Endeavour and Hawks were getting married. And even had a kid on the way. He would have to congratulate Todoroki once he saw him.

He was pulled out of his musings as he heard someone come down. He turned his way towards the 1-A staircase and saw someone that… should still be asleep for at least a few more hours. Midoriya was about to call out to her, but froze upon inspecting her choice of clothing.

"Isn't that the same shirt that Kaminari wore before his… guitar… practice…", some gears unstuck themselves inside his head as everything clicked into place.

"Messy hair, check. Weird walk, check. Guy's shirt, check. Yep, they did it", Nana listed off with an imaginary list in his head... Wait, wasn't technically everything in Nana's room imaginary? Ugh, it was too early for such complicated questions.

Midoriya observed Jiro as she zombie walked towards the kitchen and poured herself a glass of juice.

"Good morning Jiro, new shirt?", he asked with a wide grin and awaited her reaction.

The rocker girl drank all the juice before looking down at the shirt she was wearing then back at Midoriya, then back at the shirt and then back at Midoriya.

"Not, a fucking word"

"My lips are sealed", the greenette promised as he zipped his mouth shut with his hand.

It must have worked, because the purple haired teen only nodded and then vanished upstairs.

"But yours aren't, right Hagakure?", he asked and turned his head towards the couch, where a bright red heat signature was laying.

"It's not nice to peek", she accused.

"It's not nice to eavesdrop either", he rebutted.

"Fair point"

So... that's the end of this crack. Fuck, I feel as if my IQ went by at least 5 points after writing this.

Anyways, tell me what you thought of this small indulgance and come back next time to dive into a pool of fluff, alcohol and teenage parties! Everybody on board of the fun train, next station Midoriya Estate!