"Dizziness? Light headed? Shortness of breath?" asks Ann.
"No, dude," says Ellie, sitting on the edge of the infirmary bed. She's starting to feel like this whole visit was a waste of time.
"You sure? You've been through a lot today. I can tell you're antsy, but ignoring your symptoms will be worse in the long run, I promise you."
Ellie sighs. Ann is a plump, middle aged woman with short white hair. She's got a stern face, but she's diligent and attentive underneath it. Ellie doesn't hate her, she just doesn't want to be here. Nat dumped her here a while ago, dragging Kamala with her. Figuratively, of course. The young Marvel had given her one last meaningful look before the door closed between them.
The fighting is over, but the day isn't done yet. Ellie wants to be with the rest of them.
"I know…" Ellie replies. "I'm just…" She presses the fingers of her left hand into her eyes. "I'm really tired, that's it, okay?" She's exhausted, actually, in more than one way. "I feel fine otherwise. I tell you what's stressing me out, Ann, is being here instead of with the others."
Ann puts up a little smirk. "Yes, I can tell. Tell you what, I will discharge you, but if you pass out or something I'm telling the others you snuck out."
Ellie snorts.
"And no more fighting today. Get some damned rest, would you?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Well, go on, then."
Surprised her plea finally worked, Ellie grabs her jacket and hops out of the bed before Ann can change her mind.
Her right shoulder was indeed fucked up. Strained in three places around the joint. Ann put it in a sling that goes from her elbow up and around both shoulders, greatly restricting use of her right arm.
After falling a thousand feet, though, it could have been a hell of a lot worse.
She's trying to figure out how to put on her jacket while walking toward the entrance of the infirmary when the doors open and that woman steps through them.
Ellie stops. "Oh…"
Heather-Moondragon, they called her-is unsurprised to see her, like she knew she was there. Ellie takes in her outfit for the first time. She's got close fitting leather gear, all green, as well as green eyeliner. Her whole belly is exposed, and she has this huge cape that drapes behind her.
Heather inclines her head briefly, walking right up to Ellie. "Hey. How are you feeling?"
"Fine," Ellie replies.
Heather cocks an eyebrow. "You say that a lot, don't you?"
Ellie frowns. She's not sure she likes her yet. She shrugs.
Heather looks down over Ellie's exposed skin. Underneath her field jacket, she just has a form fitting a-shirt. Part of her overall outfit. Ellie looks down and recalls all the scraps and dark bruises she's sporting.
"I mean," says Ellie, "I'm fucked up, as usual, but I'm fine."
Moondragon smirks. She's got a striking face. She's bald, for one, which, she's the first bald woman Ellie's met. Secondly, she's got strong facial expressions. She's the opposite of demure, whatever that is. "Yeah, you are," she says cryptically.
Subtle chagrin plays out over Heather's features and she looks down for a second. "Look… I don't like this part, but Thor was right earlier. I can be brash. I didn't give you any warning earlier. I've learned that hesitation can kill, so I just acted. You handled it surprisingly well, though."
Ellie blinks. It's the first time anyone's talked out loud about… the situation earlier. "Dude, what the hell was that?"
Heather cocks her head, considering. She blinks, deciding. "Mephisto placed a psychic drudge on you. Call it a kind of mind parasite. It allowed him to stay close to you, even when he himself was far away. Forget whatever he said he did to you, it was probably all lies."
You should know, it doesn't take in everyone, Ellie…
Ellie's features harden. She nods.
"I'm sure he could tell you weren't psychically gifted, so he took advantage of you. I imagine he began by tormenting you, breaking down your defenses, frightening you. This would have been to ensure it took."
Ellie has to will the ire off her face. She nods again, more slowly.
"I sensed it the instant I was in the room with you. Looking at you, it became clear. So I did the first thing I could think of, and attacked the drudge at the root. This involved entering your psychic plane, dragging you with me."
Ellie's features slacken. "Wait…"
"Once there, Mephisto fought back, of course-"
"My psychic plane? Was that…"
"The place where our battle took place, that's correct. You remember. You probably just feel like it was a dream."
The image of the torched landscape returns to her mind's eye. It had been so lucid, so clear.
"Wait… are you saying that's what my mind looks like?!"
"Easy, slow down. It gets very complicated very quickly. It's like this. That was a small part of your mind, where Mephisto's shade had taken up residence. That's why it looked that way. Don't overthink it. Anyway, I engaged Mephisto, but even his shade is formidable one-on-one. Plus, neither of our powers compared to your own, in your native psychic plane. That's why I asked for your help."
"What did he do to me? When he hit me with that evil beam?"
"The same thing he'd been doing to you all along, without your understanding. He used your own painful memories to prevent you defying him."
"My own memories…? They were so clear…"
"With your consciousness fully in the psychic plane," says Heather, "it would have been very lucid, yes. Just as your fight with Mephisto was."
"That means… Joel and Abby…"
"Hmm?"
Ellie shakes her head. "I saw people I knew there… people I care about. Those were just memories?"
Heather nods. "Yes, as real as it must have seemed."
"But they talked to me…"
"I know. The mind does remarkable things under duress."
Ellie's heart sinks.
"What's the matter?"
"It's just…" She doesn't really want to say. "It was just nice to be close to them for a second." Especially Joel.
"They're still in there," says Heather. "Those are the parts of them you carry with you, in your heart."
Ellie looks down, clasping a hand over her chest. Then, self-conscious, she blushes, changing the subject. "So, I broke free from his trap."
"That's right, and I'm glad you did. If you hadn't, I might not have prevailed against Mephisto, then we both would have been down for the count."
Moondragon glances away, scrunching her nose briefly. "Of course, I would have prevailed." She shakes her head. "Nonetheless, that's not what happened. You bested Mephisto's trick, and proved stronger than him in that place. I'm sure you recall that."
The memory of her glowing hands and resonant power returns forcefully.
Ellie gasps. She looks down at her hands, reaching for that same power. To her acute disappointment, the glow is absent.
Moondragon laughs. "Rest assured, you retain your power, but it's not available here. Not like it is there. Trust me, I felt the same disappointment as a novice."
"Oh…" For one fleeting instant, Ellie thought she'd discovered truly amazing powers within herself. That might have made the whole thing worth it.
"Trust me, it's worth it," says Moondragon with a knowing smile. "Overcoming any darkness is another win in the books. It means you're the strongest you've ever been, now."
Ellie blinks, honestly confused for a second. Did she say that out loud? About it being worth it?
Moondragon scrunches her nose again. It's cute. "Sorry, it's part of the psychic thing."
Ellie's mouth hangs open as she pieces together Heather's words. "Dude, are you reading my mind?!"
"Force of habit."
Ellie's astonished. She feels a flare of anger. "Force of habit? Bullshit, that's no excuse!"
"I said sorry," says Heather. "Anyway, when you drove your spirit weapon into Mephisto's shade, you cast out his influence for good. I could tell if any of him was left behind. So you're good now. I came to tell you that." She shifts her feet, uncomfortable. "And to say sorry for being a hothead."
Ellie lets out a heavy breath, running her fingers through her hair. This world is fucking nuts. She takes another breath and collects herself.
"I'm short on time," says Heather, "I need to go to-"
"Thanks," says Ellie.
"Huh?"
"Thank you," repeats Ellie, looking her in the eyes, "for getting that monster out of my head."
Heather breaks into a little secret smile, with a trace of fierceness. "You did that. I just helped."
Ellie's not sure she could have done it without her, but she nods anyway.
"Now, as I was saying," says Heather, "the Avengers are assembling and I'm expected."
Ellie's brows shoot up.
"And…" Heather continues, gesturing to the door, "I was going to invite you...?"
Her words hang for a second. Ellie makes an exasperated gesture. "I mean, yeah, dude, let's go!"
Ellie's decided she likes Moondragon, but her confidence is almost too much. She walks with a borderline swagger, her voluminous cape billowing behind her. Ellie snorts quietly to herself.
"Avenger recognized." It's the voice from the door leading to the bridge.
Just how many Avengers are there? Ellie wonders. Then, when she sees how full the bridge is, she almost stops walking.
The techs and crew manning the bridge are now outnumbered by people wearing suits, capes, and colorful outfits. Ellie doesn't even recognize half of them. Suddenly, she's very glad she's not walking in alone. Her steps faltering, she moves closer behind Heather.
Don't fear, she hears Heather's voice. She realizes it's in her head. You're among friends.
Would you stop that? she thinks as loudly as she can.
Heather throws an amused glance over her shoulder.
As they enter the loose crowd, Ellie can't help but look around in fascination.
She notices as Tony enters the circle. It looks like he came from the upper bridge. He takes his place next to a man wearing a suit of armor, kind of like his, but all dark steel. They glance at each other.
"Aren't you a bit overdressed?" says Tony.
The man has close cropped hair and a businesslike expression. He's very impressive in his suit.
"Unlike in the private sector," replies the man, "I don't wear t-shirts to work."
"Trying to intimidate me?" asks Tony.
"Oh," replies the man with a smile, "I don't need to try."
They clasp forearms and share a quick hug.
Opposite them, on the war table floor, a group catches Ellie's attention. A black man stands prominently with his hands behind his back. He looks important. He's wearing some pretty sweet looking black armor, and he has a necklace of some kind of animal fangs around his neck. His face is solemn, but pensive. Next to him stands a slender woman with a white dress and her hair tied up. She wears a self-assured look. They're both flanked by a handful of guards-all women with close-cropped hair-with colorful clothes and armor, gold bands around their forearms, and fearsome looking high-tech spears.
King T'Challa's retinue, comes Heather's voice again.
Ellie frowns, but doesn't chide her. She looks at the man again. He's a king? Now that she looks, he kind of looks like one. Pretty young, though.
Heather takes a place on the war table floor, and Ellie stands next to her. On her other side, Ellie notices Kate.
Kate's smirking down at her-she's a little taller. She gestures with her jaw. "Nice moves down there," she whispers. She offers her fist.
A little embarrassed, Ellie bumps it. "Thanks." She's grateful to be near a couple people she knows in this crowd.
She spies Nat, but she's across the way, and doesn't make eye contact with her. She seems preoccupied.
Just then, Ellie notices Kamala's colorful outfit as she walks down the stairs to the war table floor with Steve by her side.
Steve's always a little businesslike, but today he seems even more alert. He's got a couple bandages on his jaw and cheekbone. They aren't far removed from the action, Ellie remembers. She hopes she doesn't look too jacked up.
She scratches at a small bandage across the bridge of her nose. She notices a dignified-looking middle-aged man with a streak of silver hair around his head watching her. She looks away and flushes slightly.
Steve crosses his hands behind him. Maria—the short-haired SHIELD director from last night-she's right next to him, along with Kamala.
"Good day, everyone," says Steve in a voice that projects well through the room. The sound of chatter dies down. "It's been a long time, since so many of us have been together. In fact, it's been many years. Times have changed. I'm glad to see that many of you haven't. We appreciate you harking our call. As usual, it's not under the best circumstances that we meet, but I'm glad to see you all nonetheless."
There are a few nods around the room, and some sounds of acknowledgement.
"As you were told in our various missives, a few of us launched an aggressive operation today, at my suggestion. Intel suggested a major AIM action, and in the past, this has not spelled good things for this country, or the world. Matters haven't improved with AIM's experimentation with new tachyon-powered technologies. We decided to act first."
"What happened, Captain?" It's the middle-aged man, from before. His tone isn't rude, but direct.
Steve's cheek pinches in chagrin. "Well, it seems we triggered a trap, of sorts. Monica Rappaccini and George…" Steve frowns and releases a breath. "...and MODOK were waiting for us."
There's a wave of chatter through the room.
"They're working together again? I thought MODOK was finished." It's a man in a blue outfit with a white lightning bolt across his chest. His pure white hair is brushed back.
"So did we, Quicksilver," replies Steve. "They've made some kind of new deal. They were waiting for us, and they used the opportunity to reveal their newest weapon."
"The dragon?" asks a… man. He's clearly a man, but he looks like he's rough carved from red rock. He's got a gruff voice.
"Metal Gear Valkas," says Maria. "It is a construct made through a marriage of AIM tech and exotic technologies from a parallel dimension."
This causes more of a clamor. "So it's true?" the silver-banded man asks.
"Yes, Dr. Richards," says Maria. "AIM's experiments with tachyon have enabled them to tap new frontiers."
"What exactly is this machine capable of?" This time it's King T'Challa. His voice is patient and resonant. "You have dealt with this kind of threat before."
"This is a little different," says Tony. Others glance his way. Tony points to his chest and looks at Steve.
"Go ahead, Tony."
"Metal Gear Valkas carries a couple of distinguishing features which concern us greatly," says Tony, instantly at comfort addressing the group. "First, they seem to have endowed it with a functioning artificial intelligence."
There's a sound of disapproval through the crowd that surprises Ellie. She thought that wasn't so unusual in a world like this.
"They gave the weapon a mind?" asks Heather. "What kind of mind?"
Tony points at her. "Now, that's a great question. We'll get to that. Firstly, Valkas' capabilities are a substantive threat. Jarvis wasn't able to pull as much data as we wanted, but based on our readings, we do believe Monica's threat that it is nuclear-weapon-capable."
Now there is an outcry.
"Fools!"
"What are they thinking?!"
"At the disposal of an AI?"
"Hold on, guys," says Tony, "hold on. Unfortunately, we're worried that's not the worst of it. Monica described Valkas as a Primary Defender for Earth. A trump card, in defense of extraterrestrial threats. And a nuclear weapon wouldn't be sufficient for such a task."
"What is it you are saying, exactly?" asks the woman in white next to T'Challa. "They have something more powerful than a nuclear weapon?"
Tony bobs his head back and forth for a second. Is he trying to think of something clever? Finally, he winces and seems to give up. "Many of you will be aware of what I'm talking about… It seems that Monica has created the cosmic cube."
"And they gave it to that thing?" the woman shouts, aghast, accompanying a louder outcry and a lot of cross-talk.
"What the hell?"
"That woman's lost her mind!"
Steve and Maria are attempting to quiet people down, but the tumult continues for a few moments. Ellie's scared, not because of the noise, but because it really looks like what happened down there is as bad as it seemed.
"How could you guys let it come to this!"
"AIM needs to be shut down!"
"A little late for that!"
"Where is the beast now?" Ellie sees T'Challa ask it, but the noise buries it.
As one, his train of guards raise their spears and bang the floor three times in succession. The room quiets down.
"Where is the beast now?" T'Challa asks again.
This time, Steve looks to Maria. Her lips are pursed.
"There's more to the story," she says.
Voices erupt again. Steve raises his hand in an attempt to bring silence.
"Valkas isn't bad!"
Kamala's higher-pitched voice cuts through the sound, and after a few more seconds of grumbling and shuffling feet, the room grows quiet again. Many eyes are on her.
Kamala looks uncertain, but Steve nods in her direction. She speaks up again.
"Valkas isn't bad," she says firmly.
"What are you talking about?" Dr. Richards asks, confused.
"Let her speak," says another man with a similar streak through his hair. He wears a large red cape and stands with his arms crossed.
"Valkas isn't bad," Kamala repeats. "I spoke to her. When Ellie and I caught up with her and MODOK."
Kamala looks to her as she says this, and many eyes follow her gaze. Suddenly, Ellie feels naked. She stiffens up.
There's an uncomfortable silence, then Ellie feels not one, but two index fingers prodding her back, until Heather and Kate push her out of the line.
Go, says Heather in her head. This is your part.
Stiffly, Ellie walks across the room, taking a place by Kamala's side. God, everyone's looking at her now. She should say something.
"Um… I was there."
God, she sounds so stupid.
"Young lady." It's the second man with a silver streak through his dark hair. He's wearing fine-looking robes to go with his cape. His face is serious, but patient. "What did you see?"
"Um…" Jeez, so many things happened… She decides to start when she arrived at the main platform. She tells them about Valkas, and the Hulk, and Thor. The dam coming down, and her mad flight out with Kamala behind her. How she'd just barely managed to grapple Valkas out of desperation. How they'd confronted that creature-MODOK, apparently. He was nasty and cruel, but they almost beat him. Then Valkas intervened with that blue light. MODOK had nearly killed her. And the last few wild moments, when Kamala reached into the heart of the metal dragon. And then their precipitous fall, that Kamala had barely managed to help them survive.
She looks mostly at the man, as it makes it much easier to imagine she's talking to one person, not a room full of strangers. He nods with intent curiosity.
"A wild tale," he says simply when she's done. He looks to Kamala, right after Ellie feels her squeeze her hand. "It sounds like you have the rest of the story for us."
Kamala meets his eyes and nods.
"When the dam fell," says Kamala, "Ellie pulled me away from the flood and tethered Valkas. We climbed on her back and faced off with MODOK. Valkas didn't interfere, until it looked like MODOK was in danger. She stopped me, she didn't hurt me. And when that happened, I heard her voice in my mind."
Ellie blinks. Kamala hadn't mentioned that part.
"She spoke to you psychically?" asks Heather.
Kamala nods. Then she freezes. "Um… At least I think so, yeah. Anyway, she told me she wouldn't let me hurt him, and that's when I told her about the flood, and how much damage it would cause. How many lives would be lost. She said she didn't know. I asked, if it was all the same to her, could she fix it?"
Kamala pauses, but the room is dead silent now. She takes a breath and continues.
"Then she said she wouldn't, but I could. And… and I still don't know why she did this, but that's when she opened the containment vessel in her chest and exposed the cube."
The lookers-on listen in silence, some wearing frowns, some with hands on their jaws.
"George didn't want her to do it," Kamala continues. "He was shouting for her to stop. That's how I know he can't control her.
"I knew what she meant for me to do. I…" her voice breaks, "I was scared, but I knew I had to, so I reached in and touched the cube with my hand."
There are sounds of wonder.
"It was you, wasn't it?" asks a blonde woman next to Dr. Richards. "You caused the tectonic anomaly that stopped the flood."
Kamala's clearly nervous, but her fists are balled in determination. She nods. "The cube let me do it."
Cross talk breaks out again, this time in fascinated discussion.
"So Valkas did not intend such reckless loss of life," says T'Challa, "this I accept. However, if this creature would cause destruction on this scale inadvertently, we must still consider her dangerous."
"No arguments there, King T'Challa," responded Maria.
"So I ask again, where is the beast now?"
"After this encounter," says Steve, "Valkas employed the cube once more, carrying herself and MODOK out of range. None of our tech can track this phenomenon. It's untraceable. That's the truth of it."
"It sounds like," says T'Challa, "you are saying you do not know."
Steve bunches his lips in chagrin, and nods.
"So that's it." It's the huge man with orange, rocky skin. He tosses his hand. "They go where they want, when they want, with that kind of power in tow."
"Yeah," responds Hank, the ant guy. He has his arms crossed, and his face suggests unhappy acceptance. "That's what they brought us here to tell us."
T'Challa considers Hank, an eyebrow cocked. He looks about in thought. "Well," he says, arching his brows, "that is terrible news."
"It is. But we agree with Kamala's assessment," says Maria. "Valkas acted primarily in defense of itself and its creators. Its-her, purpose, is to act as Earth's Primary Defender."
"So we just trust this hunk to protect us," asks the gruff man, "and not just tear us a new one when it's in a bad mood?"
"For now, we have to," says Maria. "Until a time comes when we can divest her of the cube."
"That's what we have for you, folks," says Steve. "Like it or not, Valkas and the cube are now in play. We wanted to be sure you are all aware. Our teams will share the data we have with you. We can work on next steps together. We even invited Monica. Unfortunately, she's not exactly forthcoming with cooperation. So here we are. This ends the assembly."
No sooner does he say it than conversations break out across the room. The crowd intersperses as people group up and some leave the room and others seek out specific conversations.
Ellie just kind of stands there, lost in the throng. That was wild, but at least the attention is off her. She's thinking of an exit plan when Kamala steps in front of her.
She's got a warm smirk, a knowing look in her eyes. "You look like you want to get out of here."
"Please," replies Ellie.
Ellie follows Kamala into that fateful conference room on the Chimera. The wall-to-wall window opens out over an incredible vista. Looks like… Northwestern US, now? There's a massive carpet of green trees amidst snow capped mountain ridges. Clouds obscure some of the view, midday sun bright upon them. She barely slept last night, but exhaustion hasn't overcome her yet.
"So that was pretty nuts, huh?" Kamala asks her.
Ellie looks her way. "Honestly, yes. Rooms full of people kind of freak me out. I'm glad you were there, I was shaking like a leaf."
Kamala frowns in confusion for a second. "You mean the assembly?" She laughs. "Dude, I was talking about down there."
"Oh." Ellie feels herself redden. "I mean, dude, that goes without saying. Are you kidding? So even for the Avengers that was extreme?"
Kamala chuckles. "Yeah, doesn't get much crazier than that. That was really scary." Kamala's eyes soften meaningfully. "We almost didn't make it. Bruce almost didn't." Worry touches Kamala's features. "I should go see him…"
"Don't let me stop you. I should probably be in bed, or something."
Kamala shakes her head. "Nat said he would be unconscious for a long while. It can wait. I wanted to talk to you, Ellie." Kamala shoves her shoulder playfully. "Was that wild, or what?"
Ellie can't help but smile. "I can't even believe that was me out there."
"You rocked it! I told you you were great, Ellie! Which…" Kamala had been in a bouncy little fighter stance, now she sobers up. "I wanted to ask you. I never expected you out there, after leaving you in the infirmary. What happened? I heard you say how you stowed away on that ship. What made you do that? I wouldn't have had the guts."
The dream with Sofia seems like ages ago. Ellie runs a hand through her hair.
After their near-deadly fall, they'd been picked up quickly. They were surrounded by SHIELD agents and had to report what they'd seen. They hadn't hardly had a chance to catch up with each other.
"Um…" Ellie starts. "God, so much happened. I…" Ellie winces, hesitating. Kamala watches, patient, credulous. Ellie feels like she could tell her anything. So she does. "I had a dream, last night."
Kamala frowns. "A dream?"
"Sofia was there. But… I don't think that was just part of the dream, I think it was really her."
The lines of Kamala's face deeping in fascination. "Really?"
"Yeah. She said some weird things…" Ellie hesitates, biting her lip. "Some scary things, honestly."
"Like what?" Kamala asks.
Ellie shifts her feet, not sure what to do, when the doors to the room open, causing her to start.
To her shock, Natasha, Steve, Tony, Kate and Clint walk into the room.
"Wh-" Ellie starts. She turns to Kamala. "Jeez, I thought it was just us two!"
Kamala giggles. "Nat asked me to bring you in here."
"What?" Ellie asks, startled. "Oh no, am I-"
"In trouble again?" Nat asks, stopping in front of Ellie. "How about this; Tell me first next time?"
Ellie blinks.
"Before doing something that reckless again?" Nat continues.
Ellie's eyes dart to the side. Will it really be that easy? She nods.
"You're forgiven." With that, Nat continues past her and leans against the tall window, next to Steve. Kate and Clint have sat down at the table next to each other. Tony sits back in his chair with his arms crossed on the other side of them.
"You know," starts Steve, "when we took you in, the idea was for us to protect you, not the other way around."
"I'm… sorry?"
"Don't be," says Steve. "You played an important role down there. You showed real initiative. Nat informed me about your gambit to stowaway on the quinjet," says Steve. "Very clever."
"It was all just kind of in front of me…" Ellie says.
"So we know how you got down there," continues Steve, "but would you mind if I asked why?"
Ellie blinks. "Um…"
Again, all eyes are on her, not her favorite position to be in. As she glances around the room though, she finds her looking at several faces she knows, and more or less trusts.
Still, the story is kind of crazy… Should she just be honest?
"Will you think I'm crazy?" she asks.
"Only one way to find out," says Tony, twirling a pencil from his seat. "But seriously, after everything that's happened today, I don't think you need be too worried."
Ellie's cheek scrunches. That's true. She meets Kamala's eyes, and the girl nods with a determined look.
Well, Ellie thinks, here goes…
"Some of you probably know Sofia, at the Ant Hill with the resistance, right?"
Nat perks up, piqued. "Yeah. Spunky. Works with Sarah. She calls her 'intuitive.'"
"I saw her in a dream last night."
Nat is taken aback, but her expression doesn't change dramatically. Tony stops twirling his pen. Clint frowns thoughtfully, while Kate cocks her head somewhat comically. Steve's brow wrinkles just slightly. Kamala looks on, attentive.
Ellie decides to just push ahead.
"Of course, I assumed it was like any other dream at first. But Sofia said some things… some things it was hard to forget. She said some things that wouldn't happen until after I woke up. She told me…" Ellie frowns. The dream is mostly hazy, but it's coming back to her…
"She talked about… she talked about a great wall of stone…"
Hoover dam, Tony mouths subtly.
"The moonlight of a steel-winged drake…"
Nat looks quietly but sharply at Steve.
"She said…" Ellie hesitates, biting her lip. The next part is dark, should she… She glances at Kamala.
The young girl's expression is so open. She's listening earnestly and intently. Her skin is so smooth. She's still got a baby face.
Should she tell her?
Why not? Kamala's voice returns in memory, from the infirmary the day before. Because I'm little? Because I'm young, and fragile?
Ellie's features firm up. She meets Kamala's eyes.
"She said you were going to die last night."
Kamala's features melt.
"Ellie..." says Nat, not angry, but alarmed.
"She told you all this last night?" asks Steve.
Ellie nods to him.
Kate is gaping in open disbelief.
"Moonlight of a steel-winged drake?" says Clint to the others. "Sound familiar?"
"If Ellie hadn't been there-" Tony stops himself, wincing. The others are looking at him now. He winces again and looks down, mouth open as he considers. "When the dam came down, my hands were full with Steve and Kate, I saw…" He forces himself to meet Kamala's eyes for a second. "I saw Kamala and Bruce, but there's no way I could have carried them. I-" He interrupts himself by laughing absurdly, dropping his jaw into his hand.
"If Ellie hadn't been there, I don't like to think about what might have happened." He says it without removing his head from his hand. He looks up at Ellie. "And that's what you thought, too. That's the 'why' of it, isn't it?"
Ellie nods solemnly.
"Ellie…" says Kamala. She's confused, and uneasy.
Ellie gets it. But she's seen much safer outings go a lot worse in her world. And Kamala is safe, today. She offers the younger girl a small smile.
"And if Ellie hadn't brought Kamala up to Valkas' back…" ruminates Clint. "The flood…" He gestures, leaving the implication.
"Well," says Steve, glancing at the others, "that settles it for me."
Nat nods, along with Tony. Kate meets Kamala's eyes, and after a second of thought, the younger girl nods as well. Kate looks at Clint.
Ellie frowns. What's going on?
Clint wears a rueful half-smile. He shakes his head. He pushes himself up from the table, and walks around it, standing in front of Ellie.
"W…" The question hangs on Ellie's lips.
"There's been a certain deliberation behind the scenes," says Clint. His short blonde hair is still messed up from the action earlier. He wears a small, secret smirk. "But we've officially brought it to a close."
He reaches back and pulls something from his belt, and offers it to Ellie.
"What…?" Ellie says dumbly. It's a rectangular piece of metal. The steel is painted blue with a big, golden A printed on it. She takes it from his hands.
"Be careful with that," says Tony, once again twirling his pen, "that's not a library card." He points the pen at her. "And you only get one, understand?"
Held vertical in her palm, it looks official. Like a badge, or something. Underneath the A, it's etched with silver letters that read 'Ellie Coulsen, Field Operative.'
"Wh…" She trails off. She turns it over. It's smooth steel on back, with some indentations suggesting fine circuitry inside. At the top left, there's a partially colored image of her face rendered under layers of shiny watermarks that refract in the light. Ellie blinks. She recalls Nat having her picture taken a while back. Her hair looks good, but her face is pretty serious. You can see her scars.
"What is this?" she asks in a quiet voice.
"That's your passplate," says Steve. "It makes you official, with us. That's not what we took you in for, but it's what you made of yourself. We're all in agreement. That's yours, now."
The significance begins to dawn on Ellie. She turns the plate back over and runs her thumb over it. She looks up at Steve. "Does this make me an Avenger?"
"Technically," says Nat, "it makes you a field agent for the Avengers." She looks sideways at Ellie with a sly look. She cocks her head. "But who's gonna make the distinction?"
There's a swelling feeling in Ellie's chest, and a lump forming in her throat. She looks down at the plate. "But I didn't do anything…"
Kate snorts. "You didn't do anything?"
Ellie catches Kamala's eyes. Kamala's still carrying some bewilderment, but a confident smile grows on her lips. Her nose wrinkles in amusement.
Avenger… She hears Nora scoff in her mind. The bitterness in her voice makes Ellie's stomach sink. Wrinkles form on her face. She starts shaking her head. "No…"
Clint inclines his head. "No?"
Surer, Ellie keeps shaking her head. "I can't take this…" She looks around at them. A room full of uniforms, people of noble status, the leaders in their own flying fortress. Of people who have been fighting for years to protect what they believe is right. To protect people's lives.
Let me ask you this, comes Nora's voice, have you ever fought for anyone else's?
A familiar feeling darkens Ellie's face. A heavy blanket on her shoulders, a coldness in her chest.
"Look, Ellie," says Tony, faintly annoyed, "you don't have to be so-"
"I'm not a hero," Ellie mutters.
"What?" asks Tony with some annoyance.
"I'm not a hero!" Ellie exclaims.
Tony stops twirling his pen. He's not angry. He frowns thoughtfully, looking down at the conference table.
"You guys don't know who I am!" Ellie continues. She can feel the icy Seattle rain on the back of her hand, knife clenched in a death grip. "You don't know what I've done, I…"
Tears come against her will and she pushes them away with her palm, brushing them into her hair.
Kamala is confused, now. It's not the reaction she expected. With a bitter twinge, Ellie recalls for the hundredth time that the girl doesn't see her for who she really is. She sets her jaw, continuing.
"Where I come from, you fight or you die. And I was taught to fight. And I didn't fight for other people. In the end, I only ever fought for the people I cared about. Me. I killed a lot of people to protect them, and myself. It's all I… it's all I ever learned to do…"
She can see Joel, in that dream, that memory, holding her in that burning building, telling her she'd done what she had to do. His weathered face had been so clear, so close...
More tears come, she can't stop them.
There's more to say, there's so much more. They don't understand. But more words just won't come.
Nat starts to move toward her, an urgent furrowing in her brow, but Steve's hand on her shoulder stops her. He meets her eyes, then walks up to Ellie, Clint stepping out of the way.
"So you're a killer, is that right?" Steve asks her.
In so many words, yes. She's ashamed, but she's as determined as she's ever been. She's not going to hide it, anymore. She wipes away the tears again with her forearms and looks at him, face set. She nods.
"Well, you're not alone, here," says Steve. He's unafraid of her, and her feelings.
Taken aback, Elllie finds herself looking at Nat. She feels a twinge of guilt, but Nat's face shows only solemnity.
"From what you've told us of your story," says Steve, "you had no choice but to fight. And you didn't have a lot of the advantages that we have."
Ellie looks back at him.
"You make yourself out to be selfish," he continues. His blue eyes are transfixing. They're bright like the sky. Resolute, like hers. She recalls that he's seen war, too, a hundred years ago. "You only fought for those you care about, is that right?"
Ellie takes a deep breath, and nods.
"Well, that's what we do, too, Ellie," he says plainly. "We just have a bigger circle of friends."
The lines on Ellie's forehead deepen.
"Let me make sure I'm straight. You snuck against orders down to the battlefield because you thought Kamala was truly in danger today. Is that right?"
Ellie's eye twitches. "She was."
"Once you saw Valkas," he continues, "you must have known it would be dangerous for you, too."
Frustrated, Ellie glances to the side for a second. "It was," she says, with less patience.
"But you went in anyway, to make sure your friend got out alive." He tilts his head. "That could have gotten you killed, you know."
Ellie screws up her lips. She doesn't understand where he's going with this. She doesn't know what to say. Words finally bubble up out of her.
"Well, what else was I going to do?" she says in exasperation.
There's a chorus of laughter around the room, and the lines on Ellie's face melt. Why are they laughing?
When she looks back at Steve, he's smiling. "For the record, we don't call ourselves heroes, either, Ellie." He reaches up, takes the hand holding the plate, and presses it to her solar plexus. "That belongs to you, now."
Stunned, Ellie stays that way for a few moments. The smiles on the faces of the others make her uncomfortable, but the other feelings crowding her body have melted away. She looks down at the plate, running a thumb over it again.
It feels strange, to see her name there. But it doesn't seem right to argue with it, anymore.
Without looking up, Ellie senses Nat watching her, a subtle smile on her lips.
Would you look at me when you're looking at me? Nat's voice comes back to her.
With some chagrin, Ellie meets her eyes.
Nat snorts quietly, and winks.
"One last thing," says Tony. He looks at Steve, and the Captain nods. "You'll want to rest up, Ellie. You're flying out with us in the morning."
"What?" Is there going to be another operation? Already? "Where to?"
"Washington. Substation Zero. Undisclosed coordinates. Very hush hush."
"Huh? What's out there?"
"Your next mission, should you choose to accept it." He goes to twirl his pen again, but by some inclination instead puts it back in his chest pocket, possibly for some semblance of seriousness. He rests his arms on the table. "So… I hear Jackson is nice this time of year?"
Ellie stands stock still for two heartbeats, then her eyes slowly widen. "Did you say Jackson?"