A/N—Welcome to my new story. This one was inspired by a few things: the movie It's a Wonderful Life, the show "Supernatural", and by EpicallyObsessed's story "Twin Flames" (which is really awesome, and if you haven't read it yet I recommend it!). I'm currently struggling with the story (or maybe just life in general haha) and need some motivation, so I'm posting the first chapter because feedback always helps kick my brain into gear. This one is basically just background; the story really kicks into gear with the second chapter. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy this. I also hope everyone is doing okay out there. Life is crazy right now.

Reminder that I don't own these characters and that all credit goes to the creators of "Big Time Rush."

We fade in on James Diamond, entering from stage left in slow motion. No sound. The camera cuts to the crowd, where dozens of gorgeous girls are cheering and screaming for him—here there is sound, and it's music to his ears. Then back to James, the camera zooming in on his new black suede boots and moving up slowly. Cut back to the fans, and there are the Jennifers right up front; they're hungry for him, he can see it in their eyes as they call out his name. Silence as the camera returns to the main attraction, this time zeroing in on his black leather pants as it rises. Leather pants are cliché, but they're also a perfect symbol of rock stardom and he's always wanted to own a pair. The audience becomes the focus again briefly, continuing to swoon as he approaches the microphone—still in slow motion, because slow motion is cool and adds an air of intensity. The camera pans up his flat stomach and over his muscled chest, both of which are draped in a silky blend of red, black, and gray that's just loose enough to blow in the breeze of the fans aimed at him. They set his long hair into motion, dark tresses that have been carefully highlighted to give him a sun-kissed look—because everyone knows nothing looks more rad than long hair blowing in slow motion.

He picks up the mic. The mass of hormonal teen girls screams louder in anticipation, and then the music kicks in—the first riff of his hit single, the one that's going to make him a household name. Slow motion is gone as he winks at Jo, the one girl at the Palm Woods who won't give him the time of day. But that's all about to change, because he's a rock star now. He can get any girl he wants.

And what James wants is all of them.

"James."

That sounds like Lucy, but when he looks for her she's nowhere to be found. Which is strange, since her voice felt like it came from right next to him. No matter, she has no place in this video; it's all about him, and the presence of a more popular artist would only detract from his fame. It's fine. He opens his mouth to sing the first line—

"James!"

There she is again. What is she trying to do, ruin his moment with her hissing? He ignores her. He inhales, catching the eye of Camille in the midst of all the screaming fans; she cheers him on, proud of her friend and more than a little interested in where else that friendship could lead.

His gaze moves over the crowd, a sea of beautiful faces all aimed at him and with one thing in common—desire. Every single girl in this room wants James Diamond. He's a god. His angelic voice rings out over—

"Mr. Diamond, are we boring you today?"

A hard kick from his right snapped him out of it. James gasped as the question penetrated his daydream. Miss Collins was standing at the front of the classroom with her arms crossed over her chest, waiting for an answer. All heads were turned toward him, just as in the daydream, but not one was filled with adoration—his classmates were instead amused. Camille watched him curiously, Jo rolled her eyes, and the Jennifers looked at him as if he was the freak of the week. From the desk to his right, Lucy shook her head. Everyone else was attempting to hold in laughter.

"James?" Miss Collins prompted.

"Uh...sorry. I've got a lot going on with—"

"James, I know you're here to build a career, but inside this classroom you're a student like everyone else. What you kids do outside is not my concern. When you're here, I expect you to pay attention and learn. Are we clear?"

James cleared his throat, cheeks warming. "Yes, Miss Collins."

"Thank you." Her hands moved to clasp behind her back as she turned away. "Now, as I was saying, the square root of 144 is..."

James tuned her out. She didn't know it, but he wasn't going to need to learn any of this because today would be his last day in class. He couldn't wait to walk out of this room soon and just...not come back.

"I tried to warn you," Lucy whispered. As usual, she was clad in her favorite outfit—black everything. James had tried to explain to her that a splash of bright color (besides the red streaks in her dark hair) would really offset the black nicely, but she wasn't interested in fashion sense or image; all Lucy cared about was her music.

James shrugged. Under his breath he said, "I'm outta here in twenty minutes anyway. Sayonara, Miss Collins. See ya never."

"James, I think you should—"

He cut Lucy off with an open palm waved her way. He didn't need to hear it.

Nineteen minutes and counting, and then he could get back to the real reason he was here in Hollywood—to get famous.

They filed out of the classroom along with everyone else. Jo jostled his shoulder in passing, then spun to apologize. James offered her his megawatt smile, the one that turned girls into a puddle; she kept walking.

"What is it with her?" James complained. "Why does she hate me?"

"She doesn't hate you," Lucy replied. "You're just not her type."

"Oh what, hot and talented, that's not her type? I can sing, dance, and model. I'm freaking gorgeous. What's not to like about me, Lucy?"

Lucy smirked as she dragged him toward the lobby. "Your ego, maybe?"

"Please, my ego is what's going to get me somewhere. If I don't appreciate myself, who will?"

"Lots of people, James. Lots of people. Are you seriously dropping out and leaving me to face the hell of school all by myself?"

"School's got nothing for me. I don't know why you haven't dropped out yet, you turned eighteen a month ago."

"Because what if my music career flops?"

"You already have an album out. There's a tour lined up over the summer, which I'm hoping to be part of. Has your management talked to you about that yet? Gustavo was supposed to call yesterday."

"Nah, but we have a meeting tonight. I'll make sure to tell them I want you as my opening act."

"You're the best. And famous enough already that you can make demands like that. What do you need school for?"

"We can't see the future, James. Sure, first album's rocking the charts, but what if the second's a failure? I might have to get a real job someday."

James scoffed. "You, slinging burgers somewhere? Working a cash register? Come on, that's never gonna happen. We're both going to be rich and famous and everyone will scream our names. I'm so over education. First thing in the morning, Gustavo's sending over a note that I'm officially an adult and no longer require Miss Collins' services."

"I still think you should get that diploma. You just never know."

"No thanks." They halted at the elevators. "You going up?"

"Yeah, I have to work on homework before my dinner meeting. You should come hang, help me figure out why I have black hair and you don't. Something about dominant and recessive genes."

"Baby, all I need to know about jeans is how well they show off my ass."

Lucy rolled her eyes. "And you wonder why you can't get a girl like Jo."

"Hey! She's blind. I'm beautiful."

"You are." She pecked a kiss to his cheek. "I just wish you'd show that inner beauty more, because there's a big heart inside you that's going to fall in love one day. And I mean real love, not that 'date four girls per week' type of love."

"It keeps things interesting. I have to get to the studio. We're filming my first music video over the weekend, so today we're discussing wardrobe. I'm thinking leather pants."

"Ugh, James. Leather pants are so cheesy!"

"But think about how great my ass would look in them! I was gonna pair it with this silky shirt thing I saw at the mall, it's black and red with this gray mixed in to—"

"I'm already bored. Are we doing a birthday party for you tomorrow or what?"

"Gustavo said not at the studio, but we can't do it here or Bitters will shut us down. I'm gonna have Kelly work on Gustavo today and see if she can change his mind. I mean, it's my eighteenth birthday. It's a big deal. I deserve a party."

"Let me know. I've got my schedule cleared tomorrow just in case."

"What time are you free?"

"All day, once school is out. I told my manager I'm not available."

James blinked at her, touched. "You really took the whole day off for my birthday?"

"Of course, you're my best friend. If we can't make a party happen, we'll figure something else out. You're not spending it alone. Or with some girl who only wants to be with you because you're semi-famous."

"But those girls are the best kind, Lucy. They do whatever I want."

"And that doesn't like...bore you? Don't you like a challenge once in a while?"

"Why would I want to work for a girlfriend? That's too much effort."

"James..." Lucy sighed and shook her head.

"What? Are you gonna tell me I'm shallow and cold? Because I hear that enough from Kelly. I don't need it from my best friend."

"No, James, you're just...one day it's gonna hit you. It's just a matter of time. One day you'll wake up and realize you're in love, real love, and all these things you're saying to me right now? You'll wonder how you could ever think like that."

"Nope. Relationships just slow you down. I'm here to make an album, shoot some videos, go on tour, and get famous. The album's almost done, my first single is getting more streams every day, and once I get this video done...the sky's the limit, Lucy. Fame is just around the corner. The whole world is gonna see me and love me. The last thing I need is feelings holding me back. Love is for people who have nothing better to do with their lives."

"Uh huh. I'm going to throw these words in your face when you fall in love. Because I think that when you fall, it's going to be hard. And I'll be right there to remind you of this moment."

"Whatever you say. I gotta get going, Gustavo yells when I'm late." James started for the hotel's entrance.

"Text me! I can run out and get supplies for the party after my meeting!"

"You're the best, Luce! I love you!"

Lucy chuckled as she watched James jog out of the building. "Sure, you throw that word around like it means nothing. One day, Diamond. One day. You won't even know what hit you."

"You're late!" was the loud greeting James received upon entering Gustavo's office.

"It's two minutes, I got held up at the elevator. Some lady in a wheelchair."

"I don't need your excuses," Gustavo lectured from behind his desk. "What I need is for you to put everything else on hold and focus on your career."

"I am. Trust me. I need that note from you about dropping school."

"No, you don't. You'll be an adult. Just tell the school board you're done."

"Me? I don't know how to—"

Gustavo waved a hand at him. "Fine, I'll get Kelly on it. Where is Kelly? We have work to do."

James glanced around the office as if she'd magically appear. "I..."

"Kelly!" Gustavo suddenly roared.

"Coming!" Kelly called out from down the hall. Gustavo's assistant entered the office at a jog, dropping a sheet of paper into James' hand in passing. Slightly out of breath, she said, "That's for your teacher."

James skimmed the note and nodded, impressed. "Thanks. I'm so glad to be done with school."

"Now you can spend all your time here," Gustavo agreed. "Sit!" He pointed to a chair near the door. James dropped into it. "Kelly, where are we on the video shoot?"

Kelly inhaled before checking a clipboard she'd brought in. "The room is booked, they're asking for half the money upfront for security deposit. Equipment will need to be—"

"Um." James cleared his throat. "I had some ideas for the video. See, I was thinking we could set me up on a stage, right? I already know what I want to wear. And we get tons of girls to come down and—"

Kelly was already cringing, prepared for Gustavo's wrath. "Did I ask you to think?" he interrupted.

"Well, no, but—"

"You're not here to think, James. You're here to listen and do. That's it. I speak, you listen, you do what I say. I'm in charge because I know best."

"Okay, but—"

"No buts, James. When are you going to get that through your head? It's been three months and you still—"

"What, have an opinion? I'm not allowed to?"

"Think whatever you want," Gustavo shrugged. "Just don't bore me with it. Now, Kelly. Continue."

After offering James an apologetic look, Kelly finished her report about the video shoot. James sat in silence. As usual, all decisions were made without his input. He should've been used to this by now, but he wasn't. He reminded himself that it would pay off when the fame rolled in. Gustavo did know what he was doing. That had to be enough.

Twenty minutes later, the details were hammered out. James had grown bored with the conversation, having no say anyway, and lost himself in a daydream. It was Kelly repeating his name that called him back to the moment. "What?" he said, shaking himself.

"I asked if you had anything to add."

"What does it matter? Nothing I say ever does."

"Glad we got that cleared up," Gustavo nodded. "Get out of my face. Be here by nine tomorrow so we can do a run-through on the video."

"Right." James rose from the chair. "So...about my birthday."

Kelly looked up from her clipboard, then shook her head at him in warning.

James ignored that. "Bitters won't let me do anything on the property. Gustavo, please. I'm begging you. It's my eighteenth! I need a party!"

"Go rent out a roller rink or something."

"A roller rink? Dude, I'm not twelve. And nobody does that anymore."

"Not my problem."

"Come on! It's just one party! One night!"

"Not here."

"But there's nowhere else, and—"

Gustavo stood up to lean across the desk. "I said no, Diamond. Get out of my face."

James groaned in frustration, hands fisted at his sides. "Why not?"

"Mostly because I don't like you."

James' jaw dropped before he looked to Kelly for help. "Gustavo, be reasonable," she tried.

"Also," Gustavo said loudly for emphasis, "it's a liability. I'm not going to have a bunch of rowdy teens wreck this place, and I'm certainly not going to be arrested for allowing underage drinking in my studio."

James spluttered. "Who says we'll be drinking?"

"James, I know this may be hard to believe, but I was once young like you. I know what those parties are like. Don't ask me again."

"But—"

"Tomorrow. Nine A.M. Don't be late." The producer stalked past them both and out of the room. "Kelly, with me."

She sighed. "I'm sorry, James," she whispered. "But...happy birthday."

Yeah, right. Great fucking birthday it's gonna be with no party. James watched her disappear around a corner before falling into the chair he'd vacated.

Now what?

Well, one person in his life always found a way to get things done. Lucy answered on the third ring. "Any luck?"

"Nope. He's still a dick."

"Damn. So...what does that leave us?"

"Nothing. I can get some people up to my apartment but we'll get caught; you know how Bitters is about parties."

"Yeah. Are you stuck there all day tomorrow?"

"Probably. He wants me here at nine to rehearse for the shoot. And of course he wouldn't listen to any of my ideas. I hate him."

"I know. I'm sorry. Maybe we can at least like...I don't know. Do something in the park? Have a birthday picnic or something?"

"Lucy, that's lamer than Gustavo's roller rink idea."

"Hey, I'm trying here. At least that's outdoors."

"Which means we'd get caught with alcohol."

"Oh, there's not gonna be any alcohol. You can't risk that, not when you're so close to making it."

"Come on, everybody gets drunk on their eighteenth birthday!"

"I didn't. You have to think about your future, James. Nothing in public that would get you arrested."

"You sound like my mother."

"That's because I care. Are you sure she's not going to fly out and surprise you?"

"Positive. She already sent me a gift."

"She did? What did she get you?"

"What else? Money. She put money in my account, told me to throw a big party. Which I can't do if there's no place to do it!"

"James, what do you want me to do? It's not my fault. Can you rent out a place? Like a club or something?"

"Not the day before!"

"Well...I'm sorry. I tried. Look, I gotta get back to my homework, I'm running out of time. I promise I won't abandon you on your birthday, okay? Even if it's just you and me hanging out and watching a movie, we'll celebrate."

James ran a hand through his hair. "That's so lame."

"It's better than being alone. And you can't get wasted anyway, you have a video shoot the next morning. You'll have to be on your game for that."

"Whatever."

"What if I get a cake and we have it out by the pool? I can spread the word that it's your birthday and people will bring presents and stuff. Bitters can't really call that a party, can he? More like a spontaneous gathering."

"It's basically a pool party. Which...again, feels like I'm twelve years old."

"Dude, our options are limited. I know you want this big, crazy party and all, but—"

"Don't I deserve that, Lucy? I work my ass off for Gustavo and I deserve to have one night just be about me. I want to have fun."

"Yes, you deserve that. I wish we could do it for you. I'll order a cake, okay?"

James sighed. "Sure."

"Could you at least sound a little bit grateful? I don't have to do anything, James."

"Well then, don't! Who fucking cares? It's fine, I don't need shit. I'll just invite that girl Tracy over for the night. She's old enough to buy alcohol, we can get plastered and fuck all night. That sounds like a proper way to ring in adulthood, right?"

"James, don't—"

"Don't worry about me. I don't need anyone."

James hung up the call before Lucy could say anything else. Fuck her. Fuck everyone. All he needed was a body to keep him warm.

Happy fucking birthday to him.

Rather than hang out around the pool or lobby for the evening, which is what James normally did in an effort to socialize, he took the shuttle from Rocque Records to The Palm Woods and trudged straight up to his apartment. Once there he ordered delivery for dinner—a double cheeseburger and chili cheese fries, giving in to a craving for the fattening foods he usually deprived himself. So what if he gained a few pounds? It wasn't like anyone would be around on his birthday to notice.

And that thought kicked off a full round of sulking, complete with dessert in the form of ice cream he kept hidden in the back of his freezer for emotional emergencies. By the time he was done eating, he was bloated and sick to his stomach but that was fine; there weren't plans to make or places to be. There was just him, alone in his apartment with nothing to look forward to for his birthday.

He'd been so excited to move to Hollywood. His head was filled with visions of fame and fortune and girls, so many girls he couldn't keep up. The girls part of it...that hadn't been a disappointment. James was good with them, easily scoring a date whenever necessary and even getting some of them to go all the way. Sex had become a weekly occurrence at the very least. The fame would come in time once his album was released and he had a tour under his belt. Lucy wouldn't let him down on that. The fortune, however...

James hadn't realized he'd have to pay back all of the money Gustavo was investing in him. His mother had handled the business side of things, as that was her area of expertise, and she'd wrangled a better contract for him than was originally offered. James understood just enough of the business to know that. Still, he was on the hook for thousands of dollars that album sales and concert tickets would have to make up for. If they didn't, he'd have to come up with the money some other way.

In truth, he thought his mother would bail him out if it came to that. She'd considered his dreams of stardom nothing more than that—dreams—but loved her son enough to know he wouldn't be happy until he'd given it a real chance to go somewhere. So she'd bankrolled his move to California with the condition that if it didn't go anywhere in the first year, he'd pack his bags and move back home to learn the family business, which consisted of multiple branches of her cosmetics company. James had nothing against cosmetics and had been known to (secretly) use some of them in order to enhance his appearance, but did he want his entire life to revolve around them? Absolutely not. His future would revolve around himself and his music.

Three months in, things were looking...okay. He hated the waiting, hated all the hard work that went into becoming a star, hated being Gustavo's bitch. It would all pay off, though. He told himself that every time Gustavo yelled at him, every time his ideas were shot down without being listened to, every time Gustavo forced him to stay late to finish a song. When he wanted to rip his hair out, Lucy was there to calm him down and get him back on track. She'd been through all of this (though not with Gustavo) and promised him it would be worth it in the end.

Thinking of Lucy reminded him that they were currently fighting, and that depressed him more. Lucy was the one real friend he had in all of this. He'd aggressively pursued her as a romantic interest for all of two days before she made it clear with a boot to his groin that it was never going to happen. Two days after that, he'd swallowed his pride and apologized. She asked if his reason for wanting to date her had to do with his desire to be famous, and James had ashamedly admitted that yes, the thought had crossed his mind that she might help him get somewhere as a celebrity. After rolling her eyes, she'd invited him to her apartment to talk (and nothing else or he'd live to regret it). He'd accepted. Lucy explained the business to him in a no-nonsense way that no one else had, and James realized he had a long road ahead of him. They became friends that day, with Lucy falling into the role of mentor as well, and now he treasured her more than all of the girls he'd managed to hook up with because she actually cared about him.

Yet he'd yelled at her and acted like she didn't care. James laid on his sofa, the television on to keep him company more than anything else, and wanted to cry. His eighteenth birthday! He'd dreamed of it from the time he was...what, ten? Eight? It symbolized his ability to live his own life, to do what he wanted, but he couldn't even have a party thrown in his honor. He'd call Tracy, who would no doubt drop whatever she was doing to celebrate with him (she was obsessed with him, so that was a sure thing), and at least he wouldn't be alone. Alcohol would help dull the pain and relax him enough to fuck her without feelings getting in the way. James was a pro at burying those most of the time, but he knew tomorrow it might be difficult. He missed his mother, he missed his friends back home, he couldn't do what he wanted, and Lucy would no doubt still be mad at him. Yeah, feelings just might try to ruin his birthday.

Fuck that. Feelings weren't worth dwelling on. He'd get past tomorrow, then focus on the video shoot. The song was already getting attention on streaming sites, and a video would help because his looks were his biggest asset. Even if it wasn't the hot performance video he'd imagined, the world would see him and fall in love.

"Love is for people who have nothing better to do with their lives."

Like his fans. Love wasn't in the cards for him, but he would be loved and adored. It was just a matter of time.

Hadn't Lucy said that earlier? "It's just a matter of time." James rolled his eyes now. Lucy should know him better than that; sure, he appreciated the company of girls. And sex. He loved sex. But falling in love was an entirely different story. His parents were living proof that fairy tales didn't exist. They'd had a whirlwind romance that lasted three years before his dad flew the coop. From that point on, his mother had focused on building her company and raising her son—in that order. She'd said many times that James was her motivation, that giving him a good life was the reason behind her devotion to work, and he thought it wasn't a complete lie. Somewhere along the way work became the driving force in her life. James could understand that since he had his own driving force in the form of fame. She didn't believe in romance these days either, but that didn't stop her from spending the night with random men when she got urges. Urges were natural.

Love was not. Lucy was crazy. And still mad at him. He'd have to do something about that tomorrow. Maybe he'd take her out for breakfast as an apology. It wasn't her fault that both Gustavo and Bitters were dicks. She really had tried. James was just used to Lucy being able to conquer any obstacle that popped up in her way, so it upset him that the one time he had something to gain from it, she'd failed.

Whatever. I'm just gonna get through tomorrow and move on. So what if nobody cares that I'm officially an adult? I'll know it. Maybe I'll go out and buy a pack of cigarettes just because I can.

He wouldn't, because he knew better than to mess up his throat with nicotine, but he liked the fact that he could. And what else did he have to look forward to? Older women. Yeah, his sex life was about to take a turn for the better. So far he'd been the one in charge in the bedroom, but the idea of being at the mercy of a woman who could take him to new heights and teach him new things, maybe even with the use of whips and handcuffs...

His cock twitched just thinking about it. Oh yeah, eighteen would be fantastic. Maybe he'd forget about calling Tracy and check out what the Internet had to offer in the way of an experienced female companion for the night. Finally feeling like he had something to look forward to, James closed his eyes and let his mind drift into a fantasy involving a tall blonde who could command him with a snap of her fingers. Being at her beck and call aroused him.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he'd make that fantasy a reality. Tonight, he let himself fall asleep to the visions tumbling through his mind, and slept peacefully.