Chapter 16 – A Ghost

1st February 2013 – 17:00 pm (Six Weeks Later)

Amour sans fin Chalet

"You're cheating." Bo playfully slapped Tamsin's hand away and popped in her yellow token, "Four in a row! I win." Laughing out loud, Bo fell back onto the cushions fist-pumping the air. Her smile faded. Eyes closed, she was taken back to Christmas Day and her first kiss with Lauren. Sitting back up, Bo recomposed herself, "Do you want to play again?"

"What's the matter?" Tamsin asked.

"Nothing," Bo lied.

"You're thinking of the spying-chef again, aren't you?" Tamsin spat out.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I played this with her." Bo's smile returned, "It's stupid, hey?"

"Really, Bo, I'm sat here, and you think of her?" Tamsin stood and went to get herself a refill of her favourite white wine, Sauvignon Blanc.

Bo joined her at the kitchen table, "I'm sorry, Tam, and you have been a good friend lately, thank you but—"

"A friend?" Tamsin downed her drink and quickly poured another, "I've picked you up when you were down, drank with you when you needed to get out of it, been your co-star for two years, and let's not forget we are now on-set lovers. But one thing for sure, we've never been friends."

"Okay, but you see, Lauren left without any explanation." Bo sighed. "The note was strange. Like why was it ripped?"

"Cause she wrote it on the end of an invoice," Tamsin repeated the same thing she, Evony and Bianca had already told her. Bianca had explained that the paper was from the Hotel chain. "She wrote you two fucking words, on the bottom of her work paper. Trust me Bo, she is not sitting around in England thinking about you."

Bo was winded by Tamsin's comments. If a heart was actually capable of breaking, Bo was sure that it cracked more with those words. It was true, not only did Bo think of Lauren all day, she looked up everything to do with England. The cost of living, any potential shows to work on and even the laws of the land. She had managed to believe that Lauren was waiting for her in England and one day they would be together. Then she would need to make the choice to either live in England or Canada. Bo was unable to explain, to Kenzi or even herself, but she knew in her heart she wanted to be with Lauren. It felt like fate had brought them two together, but circumstances were keeping them apart. Laurens' words replayed in her mind like a broken record when she asked if she would be by her side, and Lauren replied, 'as long as you want me to be'. Well, Bo wanted her to be, so in her heart, that was settled. Bo spent her evenings learning more about England, it wasn't all grey and London. It had quaint villages and vast green countrysides that spread as far as the eye could see. There were a few places that Bo could see as home. In her mind, she had chosen Lauren and England over anything else. As long as they were together. Bo smiled. She was a cliche, a lesbian joke. She knew it, U-Haul after 2 weeks, but maybe women just were better at realising their emotions and acting on them?

Tamsin was watching Bo. She was deep in thought and it angered her that she knew Lauren filled her every thought. She was convinced that once Lauren had been gone longer than she had been around Bo would see it as a silly fling, and move on. Everyone told her that Lauren was not who she pretended to be, but to Bo, it was falling on deaf ears. She searched for 'Lauren', spending hours and trolled every tweet, message and DM from anyone resembling Lauren. Tamsin saw the change in Bo and was conflicted. Before, Bo was just Bo. The woman who was basically there, following her about, jumping to Evonys' tune. Talented, but boring. Now she had shifted like she had passed her own personal dawning. She had a glow about her, she oozed sex appeal and Tamsin was confused as to why she hadn't seen that in her before. Her inner succubus had been awoken and Tamsin was drawn to her.

She needed Bo to let Lauren go, and she needed to hear some truths.

"She was a spy-banger, Bo, and even if she wasn't out to exploit you, she was out for someone in our camp." Tamsin hit her fist on the kitchen table. "Because he is British, Massimo is stuck in an English jail, and orange does not suit him. Evony is trying her best to get him back to Canada, but the Brits are not budging. They have charged him with the attempted murder of the chef and refused him bail."

"Massimo is a psycho. The fact he's there makes me feel safe." Bo added, "after all, he did assault and pull a gun on her."

"Still in a Jail Bo." Tamsin stood. Already upset that Bo was still discussing the chef, and the silly fling was still being mentioned.

"Besides I looked it up. He will be on remand in a category B prison, wearing his own clothes as England don't have jails." Bo, of course, had also followed the case. Not much was written, and no mention of Lauren, just an attack on an Alpine Alps employee.

"Whatever, you'll defend that spy no matter what I say." Tamsin walked to the fridge and refilled her wine glass. "The truth is he was defending you and trying to find out what her game was with you, as that is what you were to her, a game. A means to an end. You are the weak link in this camp and the best one to manipulate to get to us and our secrets."

"And that's all we have, secrets." Bo joined Tamsin, "Aren't you bored of hiding them. Living a lie?"

"I don't," Tamsin replied, "I'm not weak like you. If I wanted to be somebody, I would simply be."

Bo rubbed her temples; she had been called weak many times since Lauren left and was continually told she was used by her. But her heart wouldn't allow that thought to fester. "Mass had a box of driving licences that were a threat, and he was stupid enough to keep each one. We won't see him again for a few years."

"He is still one of us, and don't underestimate Evony." Tamsin drank her wine, "She is right, by the way, emotions make you weak, and you've become weaker than normal."

Tamsin walked back to the sofa and packed away the game, throwing the pieces in. Bo closed her eyes, she really didn't want to fight with Tamsin, and she was honest when she said that she had been a friend, but Lauren did occupy her every thought. "Tam, can we be friends?"

Tamsin was saved from answering by the door opening.

"Bo," Kenzi ran up and threw her arms around her neck, "Hey, we need a word." Kenzi had been on a mission to get dirt on Lauren or Karen and had some news to share, by the looks of it.

Kenzi turned and made her way to Tamsin taking her wine off her, "Hey Tam, do you mind giving us a minute, babe, then we all go out?"

"She's all yours; I have had enough of playing these games anyway." Tamsin threw her arms in the air, "See you both later at L'Etale?"

Tamsin left the room, not waiting for an answer.

"Thanks for the rescue." Bo smiled at her friend. "Did you know that Mass was British?"

"Where do you think he got that Welsh accent from?" Kenzi replied.

"That was Welsh?"

"He and Christian Bale lived in the same village in Pembrokeshire. They went to the same school," Kenzi added.

Bo walked to the sofa, "I don't think I've ever had a conversation with him if I am honest."

"I have something to tell you that will shock you more."

Bo held her hand to her mouth, "What more than Mas is a Brit?"

"Yes," Kenzi replied, "I got some information on Lauren that you're gonna want to see."

Bo sat down, fast, like a fist had landed on her stomach and winded her. "What did you find out?"

"You won't like it. I followed every avenue, but they all led to one place. The person I said she was. Lauren's real name is Siobhan Murphy. She is wanted by the US Government for a massacre. A massacre last year that I witnessed." Kenzi showed Bo the printouts.

Bo never knew how Kenzi managed to get these documents, constantly feeling it was best not to ask. She scanned the pages, nothing making any sense. "Kenzi, are you sure she is this Siobhan woman?"

Kenzi turned the page to reveal a photo. It was Lauren, gazing back at her. "Bo, I didn't tell you all my past activities. But, I am one hundred per cent positive that that woman you introduced me to as Lauren is Siobhan Murphy. You remember last year when I went to my cousin Dimitri's wedding?" Bo nodded, not breaking eye contact with the photo. Kenzi continued."There was a small issue that I may or may not have mentioned involving the Irish Mafia, and our family, who may or may not be connected partly to the Bratva. Anyway, Siobhan was there gun blazing and massacred everyone."

Bo traced the photo; it was her, Lauren.

"I can see that this is her, but I also know that she is not a criminal." Bo stared at her photo, "I know she's not. I'm not naïve to still believe she's just a chef either. I watched as she ran up six flights of stairs, jumped the rooftop to the other hotel, then climbed down the other building before escaping on a snowmobile. It was not the actions of a chef. But I know in my heart, she's not a criminal. I don't care what this file says."

"Siobhan's adaptable. I am only alive today because she didn't see me. But now she has found me. Maybe she's tying up loose ends. She kept up her undercover as I wasn't here. She's a dangerous murderer; I saw her with my own eyes slaughter everyone." Kenzi held Bo's gaze. "Please, Bo, protect me. Don't let her near me."

Bo wiped away a tear that threatened to fall, remembering back to Laurens' perfect Irish accent. Had she been wrong about Lauren? Holding her best friend, she pledged, "I promise Kenzi, you're safe."

14th February 2013 – 17:30 pm

The Royal Horseguards Hotel, London

"Bo, you ready to go in five minutes?" Evony spoke softly.

Bo nodded.

"Are you sure you're okay with everything?" Evony sat down beside Bo and watched as she applied the final touches to her make-up.

"Not if I don't win." Bo let out a laugh. "But yes, I'm fine."

"Well, don't fuck it up; your new contract relies on this working out. The fans love your character. You come out as Bi." Evony flattened her hair in the mirror, "Exactly as we rehearsed -"

Bo interrupted, "I'm fully aware of what I need to say, Ev. I lie and say I'm Bisexual so that I keep both sexes on board. But do I have to come out with Tamsin? It's another lie just like Rainer-"

"She is a major part of the plan; the network directors are sold on the fact that you two are on and off-screen lovers. They think the fans will go crazy and push up ratings even more." Evony interrupted, "So yes, every fucking word."

"She has real feelings for me, and well, it's not fair on her." Bo pleaded.

"Well, you're an actor, so act like you are, or you will have no career to speak of." Evony slammed her hand on the table, startling Bo. "It was her idea; she knows when a boat is sinking, and Vixens is sinking. So, either you do it, or you lose your careers."

"Fine," Bo stood and left the room. She was no longer in the talking mood.

Bo sat outside in the car. She didn't want to spend the last five minutes with Evony.

Tamsin opened the door and sat down beside her, "Hey Bo. Are you okay?"

Bo shifted in her seat to face her, "Tam, can I ask you why?"

"Why what?" Tamsin knew what Bo was asking, but she hoped that Bo would want this.

"Why me?"

"It will make sure we have renewed contracts," Tam answered, Bo softly nodded. "But that isn't the only reason. Bo ever since Morzine, I wanted you." Tam looked deep into Bo's eyes and Bo swallowed hard. Taking one of Bo's hands Tam gently stroked her thumb over her palm. "This isn't a fling for me. I think we can be special."

Bo knew instantly those words, and in her mind, she heard Lauren speaking them. Closing her eyes, reminiscing their kiss. Soft lips were on hers, her mind raced, her heart pumped. The kiss deepened. Hands roamed. Breath was taken as the kiss became more intense. Noise outside broke them apart. Opening her eyes to be met with piercing blue eyes looking back at her and not chocolate brown ones. Tamsin was smiling, and Bo returned the smile. It was a really good kiss.

"See Bo." Tamsin whispered, "It will all be okay."

14th February 2013 – 18:00 pm

BAFTA Awards – Royal Opera House

Bo, Evony, and Tamsin were all in the limousine in line, waiting their turn for the red carpet. Photographers were idly taking pictures through the windows, not knowing who was in each car, blindly snapping away. Bo had not said a word; Tamsin was sitting beside her, holding her hand.

"Hey babe, how are you feeling?"

Bo smiled, "Nervous, but good." She looked down at her hand with a mixture of guilt, sadness, and emptiness. Bo could see the warmth in Tamsin's eyes and knew she needed to let go of her idolisms of Lauren. Taking a deep breath, she squeezed Tamsin's hand, "let's do this."

The car came to a stop, and they jumped out together, still hand in hand. Bo let out a final puff of breath before plastering on her biggest fake smile. Bo and Tamsin waved enthusiastically at the cameras. As soon as they reached the pit was pulled into the path of journalists.

One grabbed Bo's attention. "Hello, Crystal."

"Bo, I'm surprised to see you talking to me." Crystal eyed her cautiously, noticing Evony to the side of her.

"Well, stay tuned. I may have an announcement tonight. And it lifts you free from a certain persons' grasp." Bo placed her hand on the top of Crystal's arm, "and as an apology for what happened, I'll give you an exclusive interview."

"Thanks, Bo." Crystal rubbed her arm that just had the plaster removed a week ago. "I will do."

Bo was stopped a few more times by other journalists along the way and answered their questions with a smile. Mostly asking whether she felt confident about the nominations that Vixens had this year. Others shouted questions about the rumours of her and Rainer splitting for good this time. Bo remained professional, ignoring them but smiling politely. An hour later, she made her way inside.

From the hustle and bustle of outside, inside felt almost silent. A band was playing on the centre stage, and the auditorium had already started to fill up. The ushers said the same thing to each group that 'nominees' had to sit on the ends of rows. Vixens were nominated for Best International Programme, and Bo was presenting a Lifetime award, so she took the aisle seat.

The Vixens' group cheered along happily to the first few winners. Bo smiled whenever the camera was nearby, which was easy to do as Tamsin made her laugh with her side comments about the winners' outfits. Bo looked properly at Tamsin for the first time in a long time and smiled; she had really been there for her the last few months and honestly didn't know what she would have done without her. She had been her rock. They had spent every day together, filming intimate scenes of two people falling in love. Bo had not thought about Tamsin romantically during their time together. It had been a surprise when Evony told her of Tamsin's idea of her to come out with a partner rather than to do it alone. Bo had kissed Tamsin hundreds of times the past eight weeks on set, but the last one felt different. It had heat, desire and emotions. Bo sat now with Tamsin's hand in her own but her heart knew it was another lie. The truth was she was in love, but it wasn't with Tamsin. Tamsin was a good woman, but her heart still chose Lauren. It was Laurens eyes that she wanted to see after a kiss.

Bo had not heard from Lauren, didn't know where she was or even if she was in the country. Still, she hoped that wherever she was, she was watching tonight's awards and maybe, just maybe, see her and Tamsin together. Bo wanted to hurt Lauren, just like she had hurt her. More importantly, she wanted Lauren to come back and fight for her. Looking at her hand entwined with Tamsin's, she felt guilty.

The Best International Programme nominations were announced. Everyone was grounded to their seats, smiling at all the nominations. Glued to the big screen with their clip showing an intimate conversation between Bo and Tamsin. They had just been dumped and discussing the revenge they would wreak on the men who discarded them. It was the end of season two, the cliff-hanger and why they were filming the winter special in France.

The reality star actor was really milking the announcement, making Bo annoyed as she squirmed in her seat. She just wanted to know if they had won, did she need to stand and nod politely or clap enthusiastically at another winner.

"AND THE WINNER IS…." He fumbled opening the envelope and once he did, passed it to his co-star, who screamed out the winner, "VIXENS."

Everyone jumped up, Tamsin pulling Bo up with her and hugging her, both stunned. They had won, and this was actually going to happen. It had already been decided that Bo and Tamsin would make the acceptance speech while the rest of the stars and crew would simply join them on stage.

They walked the few aisles to the stage.

Tamsin stood in front of the podium, a nervous-looking Bo standing beside her, a crowd of the show's producers and directors standing back to the side. The audience in front of them were still whistling and clapping. The noise was deafening.

Tamsin tried to quieten the crowd and, after a few attempts, finally worked, and she began to speak. "Thank you. There are so many people to thank for this award. Firstly, our director Henrietta Harris, our producer Emma Anderson, the crew and everyone who worked on the production. Then, of course, our writers, Megan Davies, Stuart Collins, and Richard Felling. Many great talents are behind this show, and we are so grateful to work with such fabulous people. I know I can speak on behalf of all the actors when I say how great it is to work on this show. When we get our scripts and again when we see how the production team put it all together. We are thrilled to get this award and even more pleased that we won after only a few years on the air, which just proves what a great show it is." Tamsin turned to Bo, "Bo, you wanted to say something."

Bo held her breath.

Evony was watching her from the seats and motioning with her fingers to hurry up.

Bo was to come out to the world with Tamsin at her side as her girlfriend. But by doing so, she would close all doors for Lauren to walk back into her life. Part of her was happy; she was so hurt she wanted to hurt back. Her heart, however, was shattering.

Bo felt as she was nudged forward by Tamsin, who looked so happy. Bo wanted the world to swallow her up.