Chapter 17 - Revelations
14th February 2013 – 21:10pm
BAFTA Awards – Royal Opera House
Tamsin stepped aside, and Bo took her place, knowing what she needed to do. Bo had always followed her heart, and tonight was no different. This wasn't right. Lauren should be by her side, after all, she had promised. This was wrong. "Thanks, Tamsin. I just wanted to thank the BAFTAS for making us the winners tonight and hope that everyone continues to enjoy the show."
Bo stepped back and walked off stage, the rest of the entourage following her.
Tamsin was left fuming and stormed off following her. The crew made their way to the press room for interviews from the hordes of journalists and TV reporters. The award was taken from them then passed from person to person depending on what network was interviewing.
Tamsin took the few seconds they had alone to pull Bo to the side. "What happened?" Tamsin kept her voice down, but it was evident to Bo that she was unhappy.
Bo closed her eyes. To be honest, she didn't know what to say to her, "It wasn't the right time. It was about the show, not me, not us. I will speak to Ruth and see if she doesn't mind if I add my coming out to the Lifetime Award presentation, and if she minds, then I'll wait till the Canadian Awards in March."
Tamsin was going to say something until they were interrupted. "Hi Bo, Tamsin. Crystal from celeb news, Canadian TV. Can we get a few minutes with you?"
Bo nodded, and with Tamsin, walked to stand in front of the BAFTAS banner. The award was handed back to them by a thin man dressed all in black.
"Ready?" Crystal asked.
This time it was Tamsin that nodded. A few questions in that they took, in turn, to answer before she asked a question that neither of them expected. "So, you hinted earlier that you had news. When do we get to hear that?"
Bo froze. This was her idea, to out herself. To rid herself of the demons that followed her around. But she had always thought she would have a person to dedicate it to. Now all she had was regrets.
Tamsin, however, was almost bursting to tell the world. "There will be an announcement tonight, Crystal. But you'll have to just wait like the rest of them."
The interview was over, they made their way back to their seats. Tamsin had excused herself by the doors, and Bo walked back to her seat alone, giving her some thinking time as she studied her pre-written speech in her hands. After a few more awards were announced, Bo got up to present the last one of the evening. Bo was ushered backstage and given the Lifetime Award and a brief opportunity to talk to Ruth, granddaughter of Jackie Mackenzie, who would be accepting the award on behalf of her family. Ruth read her speech and hugged Bo, allowing her the time to say every word as written. Bo smiled back. She would finally admit to the world who she really was.
The video played of late Actress and LGBT TV and Film Activist Jackie Mackenzie. Showcasing all her achievements, and once finished, the crowd roared, and Bo entered the stage. The crowd continued to cheer, but when Bo began to speak, they quietened down.
"Jackie Mackenzie was an inspiration, not only as a journalist and actor but as a Lesbian Activist. She once told an interviewer that, and I quote, 'I didn't see myself as being a lesbian, or her, because I didn't look as I imagined they did, and nor did she. We weren't short back and sides and natty gent's suiting. I got the image from 'The Well of Loneliness' as we all did. There were drug stores around the States, with these pulp books, lurid stories about lesbians who smoked cigars and had orgies with young girls. I thought, where are these women? We never met anyone we knew were lesbians. There were no other books that I found about lesbians, no films that we ever saw: nothing at all.' Today, Jackie would be proud of the many books, films, TV shows and people who represent the LGBT community better and more truthfully. There are young boys and girls who can see themselves better characterised and learn that all are equal, and that love is love."`
The crowd roared up again with rapturous applause, and Bo took the time to take a deep breath. "As you know, Vixens has introduced an LGBT storyline with Tamsin and me. We have just finished filming our revenge scenes, and you would have seen that our characters get close." Bo leaned in further to the mic, "Real close. My character Payton will be bisexual in the new season. And it makes sense that I am also honest with you all today and let you know that this is me also coming out as a bisexual woman."
Bo heard the gasps and paused to compose herself. The hard part was done. She just needed to wrap it up. She looked at Tamsin, who was smiling back at her, nodding at her to continue. But she couldn't. Or, more truthfully, didn't want to. She turned away from her glare, looked at the rest of the words written but couldn't say them. Folding the paper, Bo returned to the microphone. "It's because of people like Jackie Mackenzie that I can be truthful, and I hope you can continue to see me as the same person I was a few moments ago. To collect the award on behalf of her grandmother, please welcome Ruth Mackenzie."
Bo wrapped up her speech, omitting the final paragraph that would tell the world of her and Tamsin's relationship. Bo already had one fake romance; she didn't want another. Finished, Bo turned to greet the twenty-year-old girl who joined her on-stage. Bo stayed and listened to her fitting speech to her grandmother and noticed that Tamsin was no longer in her seat. An arm entwined with her own alerted her it was over, and she was being led off-stage.
"Well done, Bo." Ruth smiled, "Grandma would have been proud of you."
Bo had no time to reply as soon they were both pulled from each other and bombarded with people wanting to talk to them both. Bo knew that it would not be over; she would have to come out at every interview. Admit her past love life, and any old lovers would now surface. More so, her recent heartbreak would be newsworthy entertainment, falling in love with a chef, who may or may not be an international criminal or undercover reporter.
Crystal pushed her way to the front, waving her microphone in front of Bo's face. "Bo, Bo, you promised me this."
Bo smiled, "I did. You're right. Let's do this."
Crystal grinned at the other reporters as they slowly edged away from Bo.
"Ready, Bo?" Crystal squeezed Bo's hand and gave her a smile. Bo puffed out her held-in breath.
"So, I'm talking to Bo Dennis, who just presented the Lifetime award to the late Jackie Mackenzie's granddaughter, Ruth. How do you feel?"
"Thankful. Jackie was a wonderful woman who, in many ways, paved the way for many women who followed her." Bo smiled a dimpled smile.
She felt another person beside her and when she turned saw it was Tamsin. "Hey baby, you left so suddenly I didn't get the chance to congratulate you." Before Bo knew what was happening, Tamsin's mouth was upon hers. She was being pulled into a very public kiss, in front of the cameras, and for all to see. Cameras flashed, and Bo closed her eyes to stop herself from being blinded.
Tamsin turned to the camera, "and surprise number two tonight is that we are not only together on-screen, but also off-screen too. We're a couple."
Bo saw a glimpse of a figure, but she knew who it was that was running out through the back doors. Dressed in a coral strapless dress with her long, blonde hair tied in a French plait. She knew from that one quick look who it was. She felt her and their 'spark'. "Lauren," Bo whispered into the noisy crowd.
14th February 2013 – 20:00pm (one hour earlier)
BAFTA Awards – Royal Opera House
As soon as Lauren arrived, she searched for Bo. Her seat was in the first upper level, overlooking the orchestrator seats and stage. Lauren had borrowed the ticket from a young man, currently asleep in the alleyway outside. Walking to the front row, leaning over the balcony, Lauren was straight away told by a young usher to step back. Still, not before she spotted Bo below, her hand entwined with Tamsin's. Lauren felt her heart crack. All instincts were to get out, leave before she was humiliated, but she couldn't. She promised to be here today, and she needed to explain her actions in France.
Lauren sat through a few of the nominations, feeling restless. She had never watched much TV, so she didn't know anyone who was winning the awards. The moment had arrived, the nominations for Best International Programme were being announced. She paused, holding her breath, hands clenched together in front of her.
Lauren jumped when Bo's show was said out loud. Standing, she clapped as she watched her walk to the stage. She was beautiful, and Lauren's heart fluttered. If she could, she would just run and jump off the balcony if there was any chance of making it to her. She knew that if she tried, she would fall, breaking a few bones. Instead, she re-thought her idea. She listened to their acceptance speech then ran back up the stairs in the hope she would catch her in the foyer before she got back to her seat.
Lauren waited patiently. Staring at the walkway that was heavily guarded, but she was determined she would get through. Lauren was about to make her move when Bo walked around the corner, Tamsin in toll. Tamsin walked forward; Lauren stayed rooted to the spot. Tamsin looked her directly in the eye then pushed Bo into the side auditorium door, kissing the side of Bo's cheek as she did so.
"Well, well, our chef has returned. What are you doing here?" Tamsin asked, voice flat and bitter. "You lie and cheat your way into our camp, and Massimo ends up in a cell."
"I want to speak to Bo. Can you please ask her to come out for a few minutes?" Lauren ignored Tamsin; she was there to see Bo, not discuss Massimo.
"That's not a good idea. You see, the famous and rich fuck the staff and lesbians' fucking the chef equivalent to straight women fucking the pool boy. That's all." Tamsin replied, crossing her arms over her chest and stepping further into Laurens' personal space. "Bo is my girlfriend, she moved on, and I think you should do the same."
"Bo is your girlfriend?" Lauren did not want to believe what Tamsin was saying.
"You'll hear it from her yourself in a few minutes. And once you hear it from her and see it with your own eyes, I will then ask you to leave us alone." Tamsin did not wait for a reply; instead turned on her foot and walked back into the auditorium.
Lauren returned to her seat and waited for the Lifetime Award and for Bo to get on stage. The man next to her patted her shaking hand, "A friend of yours," he whispered? Lauren nodded, accepting the hand to briefly hold. She listened to every word; Bo was brave to come out to the world, and now she was free of the secrets and lies that consumed her life. Feeling so full of pride as if her whole self would burst, combust there and then on that seat. Despite what Tamsin had said, she heard nothing and saw nothing that said they were together.
Lauren ran downstairs, the security detail busier than earlier, but she had a plan and was determined to get backstage and talk to Bo. Searching along the walls till she found the fire evacuation map. Studying it. She saw what she needed; a staff room that led into another corridor that opened out again in the back of the stage, meaning she would avoid security. There were always secret doors in old theatres leading to hidden halls to help move people around without being seen. It was how the cast and crew walked about without the audience noticing them.
Lauren burst through the back doors to the crowd of people, pointing cameras with lights flashing. Standing in the centre was Bo and Tamsin kissing. Bo's eyes were closed, and Tamsin's hands were on either side of her face. What Tamsin had said was true, and now she was seeing it with her own eyes. Laurens' chest was tight, she could hardly breathe, and her legs were failing her. She needed to get out. She needed to go home. Lauren raced through the exit doors onto the street outside. Hailing a cab, she got inside and slumped, and only when it pulled away, she let out her emotions as she punched the back seat.
Lauren had left it too long, and now it was too late. Bo had moved on.
15th February 2013 – 02:22
The Royal Horseguards Hotel, London
It was just past midnight. Bo and Tamsin were at the hotel. Both rejected invitations to any award after-party; instead, they spent the night arguing. Bo had told her that there was no future for them the minute they were alone. The rest of the award show became frosty and angered, and Evony refused to speak to either of them. Tamsin had not wanted a scene; the ride in the car back to the hotel had been in silence. Once the door to Bo's hotel room opened, however, it was the complete opposite. Tamsin screamed, shouted, and begged.
Eventually exhausted, Tamsin left after fighting for over two hours with Bo
Kenzi, who had been in the room next door, had heard most of their conversation, joined Bo as soon as she heard Tamsin slamming the door.
"Hey Bo, I am pleased I didn't go tonight." She hugged her friend. "But if you don't have feelings for Tam, it's best you did what you did by ending things with her."
"It won't work," Bo admitted, "I can't give her my heart because I don't have it."
Kenzi held tighter to her friend, "Bo, please don't say this is about her. You need to get over your obsession with finding Siobhan. She is a ghost; she has not been seen or heard from in years, then she shows up as your chalet chef and disappears again."
"Stop calling her that! She is Lauren, and I know what you're saying, but I can't believe she is who you say she is. She told us she could explain." Bo poured her and Kenzi both brandies, "I need to hear what she has to say. I need to talk to her."
"You don't even know that she wants to anymore. She left without any word and has not been in touch since." Kenzi drank her brandy in one gulp, quickly refilling the glass. "She could be anywhere."
"She is here. I saw her tonight." Bo put her head in her hands, "I not only saw her, but I felt her. I knew she was there."
Kenzi held her hand to her mouth, "When did you see her, where?"
"Tonight, she was backstage when Tamsin kissed me!" Bo poured another brandy, drank it in one and poured another. "This is so messed up."
"Bo, please calm down." Kenzi's voice broke. She was anything but calm, "What did she say?"
"I don't know. Typical Lauren didn't stick around to ask." Bo held her head in her hands. "She ran out without saying a word. Her thing, hey. Why do I feel like shit when she's the one who left me."
Kenzi held back. She had been convinced that Siobhan was only with Bo to hunt her out to finish the job she left all those years ago. Something didn't add up.
"Kenz, we spoke about tonight, and she turned up exactly like she said she would, wearing a coral dress and her hair up. I need to believe she is the girl I fell in love with, that she is my Lauren."
Bo broke down and cried. Kenzi comforted her; she had nothing to say that would ease her pain.
Bo rested in her friend's arms for what felt like an eternity. Her mind racing with a million scenarios and reasons, but all she wanted was to see Lauren. She needed answers.
"Bo, please listen sweetheart." Kenzi raised her friend's wet face high, "You won't like this. But I don't think you should try and find Lauren-"
"Because she is Irish mafia?", Bo hissed a sarcastic laugh, "I don't think so Kenzi. I have done nothing but look at that photo for weeks, and yes she has a resemblance but an older version. So maybe she has a doppelganger or an older sister? But Siobhan isn't Lauren."
"Okay, maybe you have a point," Kenzi concluded, she also had doubts as to the woman she saw the year before. Siobhan was ruthless and couldn't imagine her cooking dinners or baking love cookies. "I wasn't going to say that. And this is hard for me, and I don't want to overstep any boundaries."
"Spit it out." Bo pushed her friend away, "Just say what are you going to say!"
"You are hurting, but you broke up with a woman that you don't actually know. You say you fell in love, but how could you? She wasn't being herself. You have romanticised her, your relationship. And what I am afraid of most, is you find her, give up any potential career and then find out that it was all fiction." Kenzi looked at her friends, who remained emotionless. "You say your heart stopped with her, but i believe it's because it had never before been opened. You move from lover to lover, no break in between. You don't even know who you are, yet are so willing to give it up for someone else. You don't have any real friends, and your family are non-existent. You listen to this entourage who only use you to make money, as it is all you think you have. You need a reset, be alone for a while, get to know you."
Bo starred, unable to form any words. She knew it was the truth that her only friend spoke. She had never been alone, and all around her were fake people. Lauren was the first person she felt alive with and it was irrational to believe that she had actually fallen in love in only two weeks. She didn't even know Laurens real name, her real job or where she lived. It was as if a reality bus had hit her hard. She romanticised her life. She needed to rethink and redesign her choices.
Bo took the decanter of Brandy to her room, closed the door and, without saying goodnight to Kenzi, she went to bed.
Kenzi stayed, opting to stay close and sleep on the couch, rubbing her tired eyes. She had told Bo what she thought she needed to hear. But she knew that Bo would never opt to be alone. She needed people around, even if they were fake. She had been broken for so long, it won't fix overnight. She needed someone stable in her life to heal her. Bo had suffered years of abuse, from the money-making industry. It started with her own mother, herself an actor who pushed Bo to become more than what she had. Then Evony, her manager turned lover. Rainer was a means to an end, a desperate effort to stay unavailable while navigating her own sexuality in secret. Lauren was the one person that Bo met who wanted nothing from her, but that turned out to be a lie also. She wanted something, but that was what was eating away at Bo, what did she want?
Kenzi was not sure what to think; at best, Lauren was a reformed criminal. At worse, she was still Siobhan, a murderer. What she knew was that she was a liar, she had deceived her way into Bo's life with Secrets and Lies.
Kenzi knew this relationship would undoubtedly hurt Bo. Kenzi loved her friend, but she needed to protect her, even if that was from herself. Reaching for her laptop, she powered it on and got to work.