She can't take another Sunday of shouting and arguing. She had thought that the Reagans were different than her family, but she had been terribly wrong.
After a particularly mean comment directed at Danny, the dinner becomes a shouting match.
"Stop it! Stop it! Stop!" Linda yells over them, making everyone grow quiet.
They all look at her with the same stupid confused expression.
"Something wrong?" Erin wonders, a certain tone to her voice Linda can't quite pinpoint.
"Yes, there is something wrong. It's very wrong when a family comes together and all they do is fight. I'm sick of it! I'm sick of all the shouting, and playing the blame game, and making the opposing side the devil himself. It's not right!"
The family look at each other with somewhat guilty expressions. Jamie opens his mouth to say something, but Linda continues.
"You know, when I first started having dinner with you guys, I was convinced that that was how family was supposed to be. You didn't shout at each other, you didn't pit each other against one another. There was teasing, but it was light and friendly and never in mal intentions. And I thought, wow. This is how family is, this is what I want. This is what every family should strive for."
Linda shakes her head with a humorless chuckle. "I guess I was really naive, huh?"
Nicky looks up, with that look on her face. That look that says she's about to say something incredibly mean and not feel the least bit sorry about it. "Just like how you were naive thinking your Dad could ever change?"
She wants to crack a plate over her niece's head. Instead, she swallows and calmly places her utensils on either side of her plate. She looks Nicky dead in the eye, "you must lead a very sad, very lonely life in order to be such a cold hearted, stuck up, frigid little bitch!"
"You can't talk to her like that!" Erin protests, but Linda ignores it.
She's stomping out of the house, ignoring the extremely misogynistic and sexist comment of she needs to take a pill. She's pretty sure Frank's the one who said that.
It takes everything in her to not slam the door behind her. Her heels sink into the wet, rain soaked ground as she rounds the house. She's about to just start walking when something tells her to cool her jets.
Linda walks to the front steps and plops down, thankful that they are dry. She hears the front door open, and wonders who's been sent out to tell her she's wrong.
"Come to tell me how wrong I am?" She asks whoever it is.
They sit down, and she knows it's Danny. "That was a little uncalled for."
"Oh really?"
"Okay, yes, we fight a lot, but we never make the opposite side feel like satan!"
"2012, everyone thinks that I'm overreacting and that I'm the bad guy. And for what? Asking you to hand off the case. The case where our family was shot at. Everyone acted like I was the murderer and no better than the crooks on the street for wanting our family safe!"
"That's not exactly-"
"Whenever you choose to work over the plans you previously made with me, everyone thinks I'm too sensitive for being upset about it. They make me feel like I'm wrong for wanting to spend time with you."
"I don't think-"
"You had just come back from Fallujah. You were throwing yourself into work. Everyone thought I was mollycoddling you because I wanted you to take half a second to correctly process what had happened over there! Even Joe thought I was in the wrong, and he could always see my side. The only person who always agreed with me on any subject was Mary!"
"They aren't going to listen to anything that is against the police."
She stares at him with an offended look on her face, "I never said I was— You think wanting my family to be happy and healthy and safe is anti-cop?" She shakes her head in disbelief as she stands and starts descending the steps.
She's halfway down the pathway when Danny calls out to her. "Where are you going?"
"Away!" She's going to walk until her feet hurt, hail a cab, and then go home. But right now she needs to be away from her so-called family.
Danny catches up with her as she steps onto the sidewalk. He grabs her wrist, "this is uncalled for, Linda. You can't... have a hissy fit every time you disagree with the family."
"You are such a jerk!" Her voice cracks and she tries to get her wrist free, but he holds onto it.
"We're going to fight and argue- that's just the way it's going to be! If you don't like it, don't engage in the conversation!"
"Because heaven forbid I say anything more than pass the beets!"
"Stop it. You can't get angry like this when things don't go the happy little fairytale way you want them to go!"
Linda stomps on his foot with her stiletto heel, making him release her wrist. "I'll be back when you stop acting like my father!"
She storms away, fighting back the tears as she starts the long trek home.
"You're never gonna make it home!" Danny calls after her, but makes no effort to bring her back.
She shoots him the bird over her shoulder. She just needs to make it out of his sight, and then she can cry as much as she wants.
She's been walking for a while- she's not sure how long- when it starts to rain. She doesn't even care anymore, and continues the trek home. She isn't going to make it to Staten Island before nightfall. She might not even make it until tomorrow morning.
She hears a car behind her, going slowly, but ignores it. Whoever it is, she doesn't want anything to do with them.
"Get in." It's Danny.
"Why? So you can further tell me how my feelings are wrong?"
"Linda, get in." He stops the car and waits for her.
She doesn't want to be anywhere near him, but she is really cold and her feet are killing her. Reluctantly she gets in the car and buckles up. She glances behind her, "where are the boys?"
"At Dad's. He's going to bring them home in two hours."
The car ride all the way to Staten Island is filled with dead silence. It would kill Linda if she isn't so pissed off.
She heads up the stairs, intent on ignoring her husband for a little while longer when his voice stops her.
"That was uncalled for."
Linda turns around, "what was?"
"Yelling at Nicky and storming out."
"Oh, I see... let me ask you something," she descends a few stairs. "If Jamie yelled at Nicky and stormed out, what would you say?"
He looks at her for a second, seemingly deciding if this is a trap. Deciding it's not, he answers, "Jamie wouldn't storm out. He's too golden."
"Okay... what if Erin stormed out?"
"Oh, she overreacts."
"Uh huh... and what about you? Or Frank and Henry? If you men stormed out...?"
"It'd be fine."
"How about Nicky storming out?"
Why is she asking me this? "Nicky overreacts. Just like her mother."
"I can only assume that if the boys stormed out, you'd think they were reacting within reason."
"Sure."
"Mhmm... I see. So a man can react, but a woman can only overreact." Linda nods her head, "you really are a misogynistic." She walks up the stairs and into their bedroom, the door closing behind her.
She doesn't turn around when Danny comes through the door. "What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to ostracize yourself?"
"You're not getting it! They insulted me, and when I act like you, suddenly I'm the bad guy. I'm the bad guy for having an opinion at that table. And don't tell me I'm overreacting or being sensitive, because I gave you examples of when I've been overlooked. Well, guess what, Danny? I'm tired of it! I'm tired of being second fiddle to everything around here. What ever happened to family first? It seems to go away when I'm involved! And you can't deny it, because you know it to be true."
"What do you want from me, Linda?" He asks, clearly exasperated.
She takes a pause, "I wanna be your number one. Like I used to be. I want to be treated with respect by you and your family, like I used to be. Long ago, I was welcomed at that table. Now I feel like every time I open my mouth, someone is going to roll their eyes and scoff at me. Or ignore me all together. I hate to say it, but your family is slowly turning into mine."
"That's ridiculous-"
"This is how it starts. They ignore you, they look at you like you're a little kid meaning well, but have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."
"They don't look at you that way... do they?"
"Yup. And the fact that you can't see that means you do it too."
He's silent at her accusations, trying to remember a time he's looked at her like that.
She sighs, "but I'm used to it. I'm used to being the outcast, the extra, the spare... it was nice while it lasted."
"What?"
"Being apart of a family."
"You're not leaving?" He sounds almost scared.
"Would you even miss me?"
"Of course I'd miss you! Linda, I love you more than anything." Danny puts his hands on her elbows.
"Then f***ing act like it!" She walks away from him and into the en-suite, shutting herself in. She half-hopes he'd come in there and give her the normal speech about how he loves her more than anything, how he thinks about her every day. She expects herself to believe him- again- and for a few weeks things would change. They'd go back to normal and she'd try to bring it up, she'd be told she was ridiculous, and that'd be the end of it.
But the "apology" and the attitude change don't come this time. The family argues just as much the next Sunday, and she keeps her mouth shut the entire meal. No one asks for her opinion, no one asks why she's so quiet. They just resume their normal squabbles and self-centered thoughts.
"You really are just the in law," Linda tells herself in the mirror with a note of sadness. She cries as she fixes her hair. Sometimes she wonders if she made the right choice in saying yes and I do...