A/N—Wow, has it really been almost a month since I posted the last chapter? I can't believe how fast January went by. Work was so hectic that I didn't even feel the time passing. Hopefully things will slow down a bit now and I can find time (and the energy) to post more often. For now, here's another chapter!

The last chapter took them through Sunday evening and they went to sleep after James had some private time in the bathroom. Or at least he thought it was private. This one picks up after that. I hope everyone is well! And I thank you for reading this. :)

James awoke two hours later from a dream in which he'd been shivering. He didn't remember much of it, just that he'd been wandering down an empty sidewalk looking for someone and scared because he was alone. The shivering was because he was also cold, and when he became conscious enough to think, he realized that part was real—his body was chilled.

But how could that be? The wings usually kept him warm and comfortable.

James blinked a few times before noting that it wasn't pitch black the way it usually was in the wing cocoon; he could make out vague shapes in the room. Kendall was gone.

No, that wasn't accurate. Once his eyes adjusted, James saw that Kendall was right next to him on the bed, but Kendall was sitting up and the wings had been put away. James could hear sporadic intakes of breath, which was weird since Kendall didn't actually need to breathe.

What the hell was wrong with Kendall? Was he crying?

Confused and concerned, James started to push himself into a sitting position when a frustrated sigh from Kendall stopped him. Kendall was staring down at his own lap. James looked there as well, wondering what the hell was going on, and saw that Kendall was at half-mast with his right hand wrapped around himself. Who knew where the boxers had disappeared to? As James watched in complete shock, Kendall started stroking in a rushed manner.

It took some time for it to compute in James' brain that Kendall, the same angel who repeatedly scolded James for wanting to engage in sexual activities, was doing just that. He was jacking off.

Or trying to. He had the idea right, but the technique was clumsy. James remembered his first few months of doing it at the age of thirteen and how it had taken time to learn the perfect angle and pacing to get the maximum enjoyment out of it. Kendall's current approach was frenzied and desperate, the way James' had been all those years ago. It made James actually feel for the guy.

"Hey," James tried softly, not wanting to startle Kendall.

He failed in that. Kendall gasped and dropped his hand away. It was too dark to see the furious blush that stained Kendall's cheeks, but James knew it was there because he'd come to know Kendall. "It's okay," he murmured.

"I...I thought you were deeply asleep."

"I was. I got cold without your wings, though."

"Oh, forgive me, James. Let me lie down and I will—"

"No, it's fine. Kendall...what are you...I mean, I know what you were doing, I just...why?"

Shame filled Kendall's voice as he answered. "I wanted to understand."

"Sex?"

"No, not sex. You explained to me that it isn't sex if it's alone."

Technically that wasn't the case, but in the fear that Kendall might not allow him to even do that, James kept the argument to himself. "Right. So what were you trying to understand?"

For once, Kendall didn't have an answer ready. It took him time to find the words. "I was concerned for you in the bathroom. The noises you were making...and your body had changed, the temperature and aura of it..."

Aura? They'd have to discuss that later. "Okay," James prompted.

"So I went in and was prepared to heal you, but then I discovered you weren't in pain at all. You were in a state of pleasure."

Heal him? Was that even possible? Why hadn't they discussed that before? If Kendall could just heal him, then why was he so afraid of James dying? "Yeah. I was whacking off."

"Your face...I'd never seen it so relaxed before outside of sleep. So...satisfied. It was true happiness, there was no worry or anger or sadness, just bliss."

James nodded. "That's the point of it."

"It was beautiful."

James' breath caught. Kendall wasn't calling him beautiful, right? No, it was the act. He was saying the sight of a human in bliss was beautiful. James could definitely agree with that. "It is."

"After you went to sleep, I could not stop thinking about it. I was curious to know what sort of feeling was capable of bringing about such beauty, such pure happiness. Even after you finished, it stayed with you. You were not annoyed with me, and I sensed no anger in you toward me. It was good to feel a lack of frustration in you, to not sense that you wished me gone."

Guilt crashed down over James. "Kendall, it's not—"

"So I wanted to understand the feeling. In this human form, I'm able to recreate it. I tried. I'm not sure I was doing it correctly."

"I don't know that there's a correct way to do it, you just...I mean, there are techniques that make it more enjoyable. You learn that with practice."

"That is not part of my mission. Doing it often would take the focus away from you, and then I may become sloppy in my duty to protect you. I cannot allow that."

Kendall taking his focus off of James didn't sound too bad to James, though. In fact, if Kendall understood how amazing sex was, he might even be more lenient. It made sense that he was so strict on that rule because he truly had no experience (at least that he could remember) and couldn't possibly know what he was denying James. Of course he didn't get that it was killing James to go without it. Because he'd never done it.

A slow smile spread across James' mouth. All he had to do was show Kendall what he was missing. But he couldn't seem too eager or Kendall might get suspicious. Just be cool, James. Make it sound like sex isn't a big deal. Or would that defeat the purpose? The whole point was to show Kendall that it was a big deal. He had to do this right. "You could learn it in one night. And I swear I'll stay right here so you know I'm not in danger."

"No, I should not do this. My mission is to—"

"To protect me. I promise, Kendall, I'm completely safe in bed with you. I won't leave the bed." Kendall looked like he was wavering, so James pressed his point. "I'll teach you."

Kendall bit his lip, hesitant but clearly wanting to say yes. Excitement filled James; if he could just get Kendall to experience an orgasm, Kendall would get it. Then he'd never deny James that in the future because he'd truly understand that it was possible to have sex without falling in love. James shimmied out of his boxers, not embarrassed at all to be naked in front of Kendall now—he'd gotten over that out of necessity. He dropped the boxers off the side of the bed and scooted back against the headboard, smooshing a pillow into place behind his back for comfort. "Come on, get over here. Just like this. And turn on the light so you can see what I'm doing."

Kendall gave it one more shot, resistance showing on his face as he opened his mouth to say no. His gaze met James' in the dark, saw the hope residing in bright hazel eyes, and snapped his fingers.

The lamp turned on.

James barely held in a squeal of excitement. Why hadn't he thought of this before? He could've been with Tracy if he'd done this earlier. Now maybe he could be with anyone, because as soon as Kendall experienced an orgasm it would be smooth sailing. "Okay. Sit like me. Just relax."

Kendall maneuvered himself until he was facing James, sitting as if he was about to meditate in a mirror position. "Does this suffice?"

Don't roll your eyes, James. Do not in any way mock him or this won't work. James used a soothing tone of voice. "It's perfect. Just...do what I do. Watch my hand."

He waited until Kendall's gaze was where it needed to be, then gripped himself lightly. "You don't want to squeeze too tight. Just enough that you can feel it as you stroke."

"In this manner?"

James checked Kendall's grip and saw that it looked right, so he nodded. "Now close your eyes."

Suspicion filtered into Kendall's expression. He shook his head. "No. I cannot trust that you won't use this as an attempt to escape."

"Kendall, oh my god, I'm not going anywhere! I promised, didn't I? I won't leave the bed."

"I will not close my eyes. Do not ask again."

"Ugh, fine. But it's better that way." James let out a sigh and tried to focus. "Okay, watch my hand. Do what I do."

Kendall studied James' movements as if cramming for a final exam; his stare was intent, green eyes glued to the rhythm of James' hand moving up and down slowly. "You were doing this much faster in the bathroom."

"At the end it's a bit...frenzied. For now, just start out slow. Like this." Under his breath, he whispered, "Oh, that feels good."

Kendall tried. James felt a little weird watching another man whack off, but it wasn't as strange as it could've been since he barely thought of Kendall as human. "No, not like that, you're trying too hard. Relax. Pay attention to how it feels and go with what feels best. Try spreading your fingers out a bit. No, not that much, just a tiny bit." It was getting harder to speak through the lust building in James; once he'd learned his own technique, it was never a problem to get himself to a quick finish if need be.

"Your aura is changing again."

"Quit worrying about me. Change your own aura. Try speeding it up a little now."

"You said to start out slow."

"Now I'm saying to speed it up." A hum of satisfaction slipped through James' lips. How was Kendall not affected by now? Was he just incapable of sexual pleasure? "Fuck, I'm almost there and you aren't even breathing heavy. Are you feeling anything at all?"

Kendall spoke in a matter-of-fact tone. "There is a slight tingle."

"Follow that tingle."

James' breathing became stuttered. Soft whines escaped. He was close now, but the goal here wasn't so much to get himself off as it was Kendall. Seriously, how could Kendall not be enjoying this?

He snuck a peek at Kendall's hand again and saw that in his desperation to feel something, Kendall was squeezing the life out of his dick. Exasperated, James stopped stroking himself and reached out to slap Kendall's hand away; Kendall was never going to get there on his own. "Stop it. Just...let me."

Kendall gasped as soon as James started up a rhythm. His eyes flew open wider and his mouth formed an "O" of shock. Within seconds, his breathing turned ragged. "Oh."

FINALLY! "Right? Now you get it." Victory was so close, James could taste it.

Kendall's head fell back. His legs came apart to spread out in a V around James' knees. When he managed more than harsh gasps, what came out was a whisper. "James."

"I know, buddy. I know. Follow that feeling." James put all of his experience into it, wanting to seduce Kendall all the way to climax. And was it weird that he was now pleasuring another dude? Totally. But he'd swear Kendall to secrecy and never think about it again. He was on a mission here.

He sensed Kendall's body tightening and knew it was working. "There you go, Kendall. Just enjoy it. Feel my hand on you, moving just right."

James watched as Kendall's tongue peeked out to lick his lips. In all the time they'd spent together, this was something he'd never expected to see—Kendall, his guardian angel, in the throes of ecstasy. He had to admit there was a tiny bit of satisfaction in knowing that he could make an actual angel feel so much. When Kendall's head came back up, his eyes were glazed with pleasure and his face flushed while his breath caught repeatedly.

It was almost...beautiful.

Then Kendall's tone changed to one of fear. "James?"

"I'm here," James answered softly, not wanting to break Kendall's spell.

"I feel...something..."

"I know. Follow that, Kendall. Run toward that sensation."

Scared eyes locked onto James'. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I promise, it's a good thing."

"It...it feels like something is climbing inside me."

"Uh huh."

"Your hand...so warm, I'm feeling temperature and it is amazing, I do not wish this to stop."

"Don't stop, then. See it through. I'm right here. I'm safe. Let me show you how good it is."

A sudden whine from Kendall sent shudders racing down James' spine; who knew he'd ever make a sound like that? "Holy fuck," James whispered.

"James! James, it is like the cosmos is forming inside my body!"

Okay, that was definitely a strange thing to compare it to, but James supposed Kendall wasn't necessarily wrong. The feeling of being on the edge of climax did feel like something otherworldly. "Good, right?"

"Amazing! James...James...James..." It became a chant then, Kendall sounding like he was on the verge of tears but in the best way possible. James kept up the steady rhythm until the chant was drawn out and became a whine again. "Jaaaaaaaaames..."

At the same moment that Kendall's body seized up, his wings suddenly flew open with a loud crack, startling James. He fell back, catching himself on one palm so that he was leaning away from Kendall. "Holy fucking shit." He couldn't help looking down at Kendall's crotch to make sure it had actually happened, and then he was mesmerized by the sight because it wasn't white that was dripping down over his hand.

It was silver.

"What the fuck?" James giggled. "Oh my god, you have angel jizz!"

Kendall was too busy trying to catch his breath to be offended. "I am...winded. I should not be winded, I have no need of breathing."

James grinned. "Sex will do that to you. Hey, do you think that once your wings turn gold, this will, too?" He held up his sticky hand, turning it around for Kendall to see.

"Oh. Yours was a different color, was it not?"

"Yeah. You're just special, Kendall."

"I am not human. Of course there will be differences." Only now aware that his wings were spread open, Kendall folded them back into his body.

"Don't put those away. I'll be needing them when we sleep, remember?"

"Ah. Yes. Forgive me, my thoughts are scattered at present." Kendall let the wings expand slowly.

"That's...that was...I don't even have words for what that was. Damn, Kendall."

"Did I experience it in the proper manner?"

"Oh, yeah. You definitely felt that. Your face..."

"My face? What of it?"

James didn't know how to finish that thought, so he shook his head before reaching over to pluck a tissue out of the box on his nightstand. He passed it to Kendall, then used one on his own hand. "Wipe that off. You've got some on your...well, it's kind of everywhere on you." James' gaze skimmed over the pale skin of Kendall's torso, tracing the splotches of silver that still remained. He wondered again if the color would change when Kendall's wings did.

Not that you'll ever know. He'll be long gone by then. Nothing more than a memory that makes you question your own sanity and ask if he was ever really here at all.

Chasing those morose thoughts away, James waited for Kendall to finish and then tossed the soiled tissues in a nearby trashcan. "Come on, let's get some sleep. You've had a big night."

They settled back down on the bed in their usual position. Kendall snapped his fingers to plunge them into darkness. James felt his way closer to Kendall until he was in the warm embrace, letting out a sigh of contentment once the wings were in place. It wasn't until Kendall squeezed him closer that James realized they'd never put their boxers back on.

Oh well. At this point does it really matter?

James supposed not, but regretted that when Kendall's voice sounded quietly near his ear. The vibration caused him to stir. "You did not finish yourself."

Shit, Kendall could probably feel the boner poking into his thigh. "It's fine."

"On a previous evening you said that you could not sleep in such a state."

"Clearly I managed to eventually."

James felt more than saw Kendall frown. "You would not let me help you then. Will you now?"

"I'm fine."

"You are—"

He said it with more force this time. "Kendall, I'm fine."

"Helping you would be a good opportunity for me to practice, and you said I should do that."

"Can we please just go to sleep?"

It took another ten seconds or so, but Kendall finally let it go. James felt him relax. "If you wish."

"I do."

"I understand."

"Thank you."

"But you are tense, James. Would that not help?"

"Sleep, Kendall. I want to sleep."

"Okay."

"Okay." James sucked in a deep breath before letting it slowly escape. He tried to settle, attempted to ignore that his body was still on edge. Kendall's touch was soothing around him. The wings were in place. There was no reason for him to be aroused at this point.

And then, probably in an effort to calm him, Kendall used one of those wings to caress his back. Soft feathers trailed down between his shoulderblades, warmth spreading in waves from the contact points. James' entire body shivered violently as an involuntary whine slipped out.

"James, are you...oh. Your aura has changed again."

Kendall was making it worse by whispering in his ear. He needed to stop that, right now. James moved to pull his head away, but in doing so grazed his cheek against the wing, and damn if that didn't add to the sensation. He couldn't breathe, suddenly his body was on fire and if he didn't do something, he was going to combust. "Kendall..."

"I am here." And sure enough, Kendall knew what he needed. Kendall's hand slipped between them to grip James, long fingers wrapping around the length that was getting harder by the second. James gasped at the touch, because of course it made sense that the same warmth Kendall radiated elsewhere would be felt tenfold on the most sensitive part of James' body.

"Holy...Kendall..."

"Shh, let me calm you."

There wasn't much else that James could do because his brain had disintegrated the second Kendall's hand wrapped around him. The feathers brushing over his naked body added to it; every single fiber of his being felt like it was vibrating with life and heat. "Kendall!" It seemed to be the only word he could get out. One of his hands curled over Kendall's shoulder while the other stretched out to graze over feathers. Something about those damn feathers broke down all of James' common sense and made him desperate for the feel of them. He had the thought that they must be laced with ecstasy before sensation overtook his mind so much that he could no longer think. His entire world had become the feel of Kendall's hand stroking him just right, the sound of Kendall's breath in his ear, and the electricity running through his body everywhere the wings touched down.

No human could survive this much pleasure all at once. It wasn't possible.

For that reason, it didn't last as long as he would've liked it to. Climax hit hard and fast, James exploding in Kendall's hand with a loud cry as waves of euphoria roared through him. It seemed forever before his body was able to relax, and when it did James had no energy left. He was boneless in Kendall's arms, which were now hugging him tight while a hand repeatedly smoothed over his hair in a comforting manner. "Are you well?" Kendall asked softly.

James could barely find his voice. He managed, "So well."

Kendall smiled, then started to move away. That woke James up enough to think straight. "Where are you going?"

"I was going to retrieve a cloth to clean you, since that is what you did for me."

James shook his head. "It's fine. I'm fine. Just..."

Kendall waited patiently. "Yes?"

"Don't...stay."

"You wish me to leave?"

"No." In a panic that was totally unlike him, James clutched at Kendall to keep him close. "Stay. Don't go anywhere. Just...stay right here."

"Of course. Whatever you wish."

"Thank you." Now that his fear of...whatever that had been...was taken care of, James was able to settle. "We can shower in the morning. I'll get clean then."

"Must I?"

"Yeah, it's been a few days. I'll help you this time."

"You will? We can shower together?"

Was it weird? Absolutely. But strangely not nearly as weird as it would've been on the day Kendall arrived. And Kendall's excitement (or maybe it was relief) over the idea made it hard to say no. "Yes. But nobody can ever know that, okay? And...tonight? What we did for each other here? Nobody ever knows about that, either. Swear it to me."

"You are ashamed of feeling pleasure? Of helping me explore it?"

"Kendall, please don't ask me to explain it. Just trust me when I say that nobody would understand. Just like the fact that you're an angel, it's a secret we have to keep. It happened once, now you know about pleasure, and that's that. We don't talk about it, and it never happens again." Kendall was silent for so long that James wasn't sure he'd gotten the point. "Kendall? Do you understand?"

"No. I do not. Did I not use the correct procedure?"

"What? What the hell are you babbling about?"

"I am attempting to understand. You seemed to enjoy my aid, so I do not comprehend why you wish to never experience it again."

"Because that was never supposed to happen. Me teaching you? That was fine, you needed to learn. There was no reason for you to get me off."

"The reason is that you needed release. I only wanted to help."

"I know, Kendall. I get it." Couldn't he just shut up and move on? Why did Kendall keep pushing this? "And you did. But..."

"Yes?"

"But it's never happening again. Okay? Don't argue with me, don't keep asking questions. Just...drop it."

"I am going to assume that 'drop it' means you do not wish to discuss the matter—"

"And stop talking like that!" James yelled. "You know how to talk properly by now, this shouldn't still be a problem."

Kendall's tone was apologetic when he finally spoke. "Forgive me. I was under the impression that when we were alone, I could speak in my natural manner. In the future I will not do so. I mean...I won't do so."

James was thankful for the blinding darkness of the wings, because it hid what was surely one of those hurt expressions on Kendall's face. That was the last thing he needed, to feel more guilty.

"And I am sensing that my presence is unwanted at the moment, so I shall occlude myself. Sleep well, James."

In the darkness, it didn't really make much of a difference; it wasn't like James could see Kendall anyway. His wings stayed put, and his body was still pressed to James'. Really, nothing changed.

And yet, it did feel different, because Kendall changed. His...what was the word Kendall had used earlier? His aura changed. The warmth lessened, and it felt like the energy coming from Kendall was at half power.

Guilt seeped deeper into James' bones. He'd promised he wouldn't do this anymore, that he'd never again make Kendall feel unwelcome. Yet he had, and he wasn't even sure why. So even though he felt the need to apologize, the fact that James didn't quite understand why he'd lashed out kept him from doing so. An apology meant nothing if you didn't know what you were saying sorry for.

What he did manage was a hesitant, "Goodnight, Kendall."

For the first time, there was no answer.