Chapter 24 - Hurt

Saturday, March 10th, 2018 – 23:30 pm

Chelsea, London

Bo had been dancing and drinking for a couple of hours and could see the hundreds of party revellers from her VIP seating on the first floor. It reminded her of Christmas Eve in Morzine, and again her mind wandered back to Lauren. She had mistreated her, turned her into a whore, yet she kept calling and texting her. She couldn't be any worse to her during that week together, yet each time she asked her to be somewhere, she was there. And having Lauren around made her so happy that she would hate herself, drink and thus go back into a circle of hate and revenge.

Bo shook her head; she needed to forget about Lauren. She managed to bury deep any true feelings for the past five years and didn't need to listen to her heart now.

Tamsin was drinking her champagne by the bottle, which was angering her. She hadn't called her all the time she was in the hospital or since she left but was happy to take advantage of her VIP room. "Enjoying my champagne Tamsin?" Bo spat.

"Not like you're paying for it," Tamsin spun round, racing her voice over the noise, "The club is paying you a lot of money, not me. I'm just here to reap the rewards."

Bo sighed. The only reason she called Tamsin was that she didn't want to be alone, and she also hoped that Lauren followed her on social media. Bo wished that Lauren would see that she was not in the hotel, lonely and pathetic and was out enjoying herself. Even if that meant again to fake it, just like she did with Rainer. Reaching into her pocket, she snapped a few pictures of her, with Tamsin in the background, and posted them on her Instagram just in case Lauren didn't have Twitter.

Bo headed back to the table and lined up cocaine on the metal tray. Straw in hand, she snorted a line. She wanted to get fucked up and forget everything tonight.

"Hey there, calm down." Tamsin was staring at her, "It's early."

"Tam," Bo snorted another line. "Don't act as if you care."

"I did once," Tamsin shrugged, "But there was only so much I was willing to take."

"Oh please, I offered to make our relationship real on many occasions. You shrugged me off."

"That's because the night of the Baftas, you told me your heart was Lauren's. Then she breaks up with you, and suddenly I am good enough for you. I wasn't going to be anyone's rebound."

"That doesn't explain the five-year showmance."

"Well, call me old fashioned, but I don't want to have sex with someone drunk or high."

"I only started going to rehab a few years ago. I wasn't that bad at the start."

"Then maybe I didn't want to get to second base, and they call out the wrong name."

"That happened once-"

Tamsin cut Bo off, "The first time we ever go close to being intimate, you say her name. I knew then you weren't over her and probably never would be."

"Then what about Valentine's day after I got out of rehab when you gave me a present of you naked in a bow?"

"What rehab was that? Erm, the one in twenty-fifteen? Or the two in twenty-sixteen? Or was it after you came out from the court-ordered stay in twenty-seventeen when I was giving you a lapdance, and you fell asleep? Again, old-fashioned, but won't have sex with someone asleep."

"I wasn't asleep. I rested my eyes, then next thing you are hitting me and storming off." Bo rubbed her temples, a headache already forming.

"There was always something that just meant we never connected." Tamsin held Bo's gaze. The time for honesty was now. "Or, more accurately someone, wasn't there?"

"Lauren?"

"If we are finally being honest, then yes, Lauren. You never got over her or the hurt. You preferred the company of strangers with zero commitments. Never risking getting feelings involved. You never opened up to me, and I don't mean physically. I could have had you numerous times." Tasmin watched as Bo tutted her head away.

"If you say so, Tam." Bo gulped down copious champagne, making her noes tingle from the bubbles.

"Yes, I do say so, Bo. But I knew it would be meaningless for you, but it wouldn't have been meaningless for me. I was tired of playing Laurens' understudy. I want to be the main role of my own life. Besides, you've been self-destructive for five years. I couldn't handle you."

"Why do you stick around then?" Bo lined up another line, "Why do you agree to be with me on these publicity shoots and keep up our showmance?"

"Cause, even I can't turn down a free bar." Tamsin half-smiled. "And 'Ashton' made us mega-rich and famous. And I do like you, Bo, when you're sober and professional on set. You are funny and so fucking talented. It's sad what happened to you. And that shit you take makes you a monster."

"I need it. I'm exhausted." Bo looked up to Tamsin, who had rested her hand on her arm. "Aren't you?"

"Then slow down, take time to heal yourself. I have seen you sneaking Lauren in, and I heard the fight last week. I hate to say it, but she made some sense. You do need to hear her out, even if that is simply for closure." Tasmin removed her hand. It was all she wanted to say. The truth was she thought she had been in love with Bo, but she soon realised she had fallen for the girl who was in love. That Bo glowed, her happy smile was infectious, and Tamsin wanted to drink that elixir from her. But without Lauren, that glow was soon gone.

Bo didn't say anything.

The conversation had turned dark. But real.

Tamsin grabbed another bottle of bubbly and poured a large glass. "And also because we do have fun, me you and Kenz on these publicity nights out."

"Someone mention my name bitches?" Kenzi sat down in the middle of them both, pushing the tray of drugs away from Bo, "And not that tonight BoBo, we have an appearance to make at a club opening. Please don't go fucked up."

"Leave me be Kenz, I'm okay. It's just a pick me up."

Tamsin stood to dance with one of the revellers, and it wasn't long before her hands were all over him and her tongue down his throat.

"Guess your showmance is really over?" Kenzi pointed over her shoulder.

"Yes." Bo sat back in her seat.

"And Lauren?" Kenzi asked cautiously, having already asked the same question when she was in the hospital and got her head torn off.

"What about Lauren?

"She lives in this city Bo, aren't you curious to see her, speak to her and hear what she has to say?"

"I have," Bo watched as her friend's eyes widened, "I saw her all last week. She signed a contract, and we fucked, and it was great. Then we got into a fight, and this time I dumped her."

"Well, I see that has magically cured you," Kenzi said sarcastically. "I guess she was the full root to all evils. And now you have got rid of her; you have saved the world from the devil incarnate."

"Not you, Kenzi." Bo pulled the tray back towards her. First Tamsin, now Kenzi. It was as if the whole world was on the side of Lauren fucking Lewis. No one understood it was Bo that was the one that was hurt.

Kenzi pushed it back. "If things are really over, then please let go of all the hate. That is all I mean, Bo. If not her, then let it be someone else." Kenzi placed her hand on Bo's arm. "You need to get back on track. Be yourself again. Be happy again."

"I am happy." Bo lied.

Kenzi knew that look. It was one she had seen many times before. A look said the discussion was over; instead, she changed the subject. "What's happening with the Play Bo? It's in the papers that - ."

"Fuck them, fuck them all, everyone says they want me, but when they see the real me, they change their mind. I'm not worth it after all," Bo swallowed a lump in her throat and changed the subject, "Where's this party anyway?"

"Vauxhall," came Kenzi's reply.

Sunday, March 11th, 2018 – 01:20 am

Heat Nightclub, Vauxhall

Lauren had been standing in the queue for the bathroom for twenty minutes. The club had become increasingly busy, with party-goers wall to wall and only one set of toilets. Lauren made up her mind to leave as soon as she could. It was not her kind of music, too much heavy trance for her liking. Everyone seemed to be on something and enjoying it, but the other night was indeed a one-off. Her heart raced all night, but that could have also been the marathon sex session or the heated argument with Bo. Lauren took in the surroundings. The fresh décor that she had seen when she first arrived was now covered in condensation, too many sweaty bodies and not enough extraction fans. The floor was sticky from spilt sugary drinks, and puffs of smoke lingered in the air from vapes or spliffs.

"Out my way."

Lauren looked back and saw people pushed to the side and someone barging themselves to the front of the queue, angering Lauren even more. If she had to suffer the wait, then everyone did. Swinging her arm out, Lauren stopped the queue jumper, "There is a queue."

"Well, well, if it's not the spying chef?" Tamsin stood with her arms folded across her chest.

"There is a queue," Lauren repeated. "You're no better than the others patiently waiting their turn."

"Please, bitch, I am better than all of you." Tamsin moved in closer to Lauren, "Bo will flip if she knew you were here. Should we add stalker to your list of devious acts against her?"

"Devious? Is this where you tell me that she is your girlfriend, and if I wait about long enough, I will see it with my own eyes?" Lauren squared up the taller woman, repeating the words said the night of the Bafta five years ago. "As it was bollocks then, and I suspect it's bollocks now. So who is devious?"

"Signing a contract to fuck her for a week is not the same as five years together." Tamsin wouldn't allow Lauren to ruin her night or embarrass her in front of the crowd that was now listening with such precision you could hear a pin drop.

"And during that week, she didn't mention you once!" Lauren hit back.

"I'm done with this drink. Do you want these leftovers?" Pushing a half bottle of champagne in her direction, Tamsin dropped it into Laurens' hands. "Now move aside. I need to use the bathroom." Tamsin swiftly passed Lauren, ignoring people's objections to her pushing in.

Lauren's fists clenched, following Tamsin into the cubical and slamming the door behind her. "Flattered Lauren, but you're not my type."

"Not even close," Lauren placed the bottle back in Tamsin's hand. "Bo was mine first, she's always been mine, and she will always be mine."

Lauren walked out of the cubical and straight into an angry-looking Bo.

"Oops, forgot to mention she was here, and I was coming to find her." Tamsin smiled and closed the door.

"I'm not anyone's." Bo pushed Lauren back, "and I'm certainly not yours."

Lauren sighed as Bo turned her back on her and walked through the crowds.

"Oh my god, it's Bo Dennis."

Lauren heard the commotion that followed. Bo was surrounded by the small walkway, trapped with more people forcing their way to get close to her. Lauren sped towards her without hesitation, climbing on the bodies of those who stood between them. Stepping on their shoulders, making her way along the narrow corridor. Lauren jumped down through the crowd and found Bo. Bending, she scooped up Bo into her arms and carried her.

"What the fuck!" Bo balanced on Lauren.

"Trust me." Lauren held her close, "I'll get you out."

Bo felt as the group moved more, clawing at her arms and legs. Bo buried her head into Lauren for support as she pushed through the crowds to the main dance floor. Lauren stretched for the balcony above and hoisted herself up. Reaching back to pull Bo up to join her. The balcony was quieter, but it wouldn't be for long as people pointed up, alerting of Bo's presence. Lauren protectively shielded Bo behind her body while she formulated a plan.

"Shit," Lauren muttered.

The security was holding back people from the stairs but struggling, and soon they would surrender, bringing on a new wave of people. Bo was smiling and politely nodding at people who were screaming and grabbing her, moving closer to Lauren, she whispered, "Get me out of here, Lo."

Lauren's body tingled with the close proximity, and Bo using her nickname. Shaking her head, she needed to focus on the job at hand. Vex and her friends were on the other side of the floor, a space in front of them as party-goers pushed themselves closer to the balcony. Above them, lights were rigged and ropes tied to the railing. Lauren had an idea but knew it was best not to share. Lauren turned to face Bo and started to untie the line, "Please trust me."

Bo was so close to Lauren that she could smell her perfume, taking her back to a familiar place when she felt safe, "Okay."

Seconds later, she was lifted into Laurens' arms and swinging across the dance floor, landing on the other side by the DJ booth and tying back up the rope. Bo had no time to protest being hoisted in the air as a swarm of people came at her. Instinctively she reached for Lauren, who pulled her to the side.

"Vex, help us."

Vex nodded.

Lauren opened a door and pushed Bo into a hallway to find another door at the end leading to the back office. Entering and locking it behind them. Lauren tried the side door, but it wasn't open, and tutted, a small window was the only other means of escape. Pushing the desk to the rear wall, Lauren climbed onto it and attempted to open it but found it locked also. "Damn. Let's hope Vex comes through with another plan." Lauren sat on top of the table.

"This is all my fault." Bo sat on a chair and held her head in her hands.

"No, it's the clubs' fault for not having proper security or at least toilets on the first floor." Lauren smiled when she heard Bo laugh. A sound that she had missed lately.

"I posted on Instagram that I was coming here. It's only going to get worse," Bo admitted.

"We'll stay in here until the place has emptied then." Lauren leaned back on her hands, her shirt rose slightly, the same action in France, and Bo was surprised it gave her the same reaction. Her mouth went dry, her sex twitched, and her mind focused on nothing but kissing Laurens' skin. Bo needed to change the conversation to think of something else. She hated how her body reacted to Lauren. She wanted to hate her, but her heart was betraying her, and now her body was too.

"You're strong." Bo crossed the small room and sat beside her on the table, "The way you lifted me up to the balcony."

"Adrenaline," Lauren sat upright, and shoulder bumped Bo. "I just wanted to protect you."

There was a bang at the door, and both froze as they heard Bo's name being screamed. Followed by a scuffle and the familiar voices of her friends.

Lauren saw that Bo had tears in her eyes. "Don't worry, they won't get in, my friends are outside, and they will clear the hallway. And if by chance they do get in, they won't get near you. As they would have to get past me, and I won't allow that."

"Thank you, and I guess you were right. We have met again. If I were a conspiracist, I would think you planned this riot to get me alone in a room." Bo turned slowly, facing Lauren, "So let's talk and don't lie to me."

"Okay," Lauren cleared her throat. She had practised what she would say to Bo many times before, but now she was nervous. "I broke us up so that you could have your career, the fame and the fortune." Lauren paused and looked at the woman she loved; she deserved to know the truth.

"You just can't help yourself," Bo jumped off the table. "Still can't be honest with me."

"W-what?" Lauren joined her, "that is the truth."

Bo turned and slapped Lauren hard across the cheek.

Lauren was stunned. Twice now, Bo had slapped her. Both times the look in Bo's eyes hurt more than her cheek. "Bo, I—-"

"Don't speak, Lauren."

Lauren obliged. She needed to gather her thoughts.

Outside, Vex had his ear pressed against the door, "Fuck I think Bo has slapped her."

Tamsin and Kenzi pushed their ear to the door. "Again?"

Vex and Tamsin looked at Kenzi, who stood. "Okay, so I might have hacked the CCTV the day Lauren dumped Bo?"

Vex crossed his arms, "So, you know what happened that day?"

"I heard every word. Then, as soon as Bo left, I shut it down and went to find her to comfort her. It was brutal and unnecessary. I thought she pushed her away as she was a mafia killer."

"Mafia Killer?" This time it was Tamsin asking the questions.

"Yes. I witnessed a massacre, and the one in charge who did all the killing was Siobhan Murphy, and she looked like Lauren."

Tamsin stayed quiet. She recognised the name. It wasn't only Bo that had slept with Evony; Tamsin had also succumbed to a few nights with her while Bo was dating her. Eight years ago, Evony had been involved in many dodgy dealings, and Siobhan Murphy was the alias name that she had used. Then just like that, it all went away. But how were Lauren and Evony connected? They didn't even know each other eight years ago; she was sure of that. "So what made you realise that Lauren wasn't the mafia killer?"

Kenzi eyed her friend with caution. She was never interested in anything Lauren before. "Time didn't match; Lauren must have a doppelganger."

"Or older relative." Tamsin deduced.

"None of this is helping." Vex added, "And Lauren spent twelve days in hell at the hands of the American CIA for that mistake."

"Listen," Kenzi whispered.

Tamsin and Vex rushed to press their ear back to the door. "What?" What they both said in unison.

"Nothing." Kenzi stood, "they are silent."

"Hopeless. I will see if I can get some transport and the side door key from the manager," Vex replied. "You both stay in this hallway. The crowd out there are still very real and are relentless. It will take security hours to get rid of them."

Kenzi and Tamsin nodded. As soon as Vex left, they heard the noise from the other side of the door. It was definitely out of control. The sound of door locking gave them both comfort.

Kenzi stood facing Tamsin. "We need to talk."

Tamsin didn't answer. She simply nodded a yes.

Inside, the room was silent. So many things Lauren wanted to say but was so confused as to why Bo had slapped her. The last thing she wanted was to anger her further. Building the courage, she was going to ask her. No games, no play, just ask her what she had done wrong. The side door flew open, making her jump. The time had gone.

"Hey ladies, we need to get you both out of here." Vex peered in.

Lauren and Bo followed Vex, who led them through to the rear exit door. Vex handed Lauren keys to a Honda motorbike parked up in the alley. "Be careful of the bike Lo, I have just borrowed it from a fella I know and if you break it, you better cough up next year's wages."

Lauren nodded and took the helmets from Vex, passing one to Bo and putting the other on, "See you at home. Make sure you get Tamsin and Kenzi out."

Vex saluted jokingly and hugged Lauren, "Okay, boss. See you later."

Turning to Bo, "Lovely to meet you. Hopefully properly next time?"

Bo politely smiled but didn't say a word. Instead, she simply got on the back. Lauren at the front kick-started the engine, and the bike roared to life.

Lauren turned her head to Bo, "ready?"

"Yes," Bo reluctantly held on to Lauren. "I hope you know how to ride this thing."

Lauren simply smiled, revved the engine then sped off.

Vex walked back inside to the chaos. He needed to get back Kenzi and Tamsin and get them out as promised.