A/N—Hey, I'm finally back. It's been a crazy few weeks but here we are with another chapter. This one picks up the following day, with James returning to finish the video shoot. Thanks for reading!

The sound of the alarm woke James from a restless night of sleep. Usually with Kendall's presence there was no problem at all, and he'd rise from bed feeling refreshed and ready for the day. This time, perhaps because Kendall had been there but not really there, James moved from the bed in a sluggish manner, feeling as if he hadn't slept for days.

Definitely not the best way to go into a video shoot with Gustavo. Maybe if he did a good job and they finished early, Gustavo would let him go home instead of spending the remainder of the day at the studio.

He held on to that hope all the way to the bathroom, feeling Kendall's presence but still unable to see him. "Kendall?" he tried as he was relieving himself.

"I'm here."

"Show yourself."

Kendall appeared in his peripheral vision, just inside the bathroom door. He was still naked, and before James could stop himself he twisted his head to look for traces of silver over the smooth, pale skin. That reminded him that he was still covered in his own mess. "We need to shower."

Kendall nodded in understanding.

"Do you need to pee? Or...the other?"

"I believe the pressure I'm feeling is to urinate only."

"Good. You take care of that while I get the shower going. And don't forget to flush the toilet when you're done."

The warm water felt like heaven on his tired body. He stood in the spray, letting it wash over his neck and shoulders before tipping his head back so the water cascaded over his face.

"May I enter?"

James shook himself both mentally and physically, stepping toward the back to open the curtain a bit. "Come in. Remember, it's slippery."

"I don't forget, James."

"Right." And was it his imagination, or did Kendall sound a little...snippy this morning? What the hell was that about? He carefully maneuvered himself so that Kendall could step past him to get under the spray. His eyes tracked the water trailing down Kendall's chest and abdomen, then continued further down before he realized he was staring at Kendall's junk and averted his eyes. He couldn't help being curious about the silver jizz, right? It was natural. But still it was something he needed to forget about, so he reached for the soap to clean his own body.

He did note that Kendall's eyes and mouth were closed this time. "Hey, you remembered! It's easier the second time, right?"

"As I said before, I don't forget."

"I know, I just...you know. I'm proud of you. Here." James passed over the soap, then attempted to switch places with Kendall so he could rinse off. And damn if their slippery bodies sliding against each other didn't bring back visions from the night before.

Stop it. You're never thinking about that again.

Kendall's voice broke into his thoughts. "What are your plans for today? You're returning to the video shoot, correct?"

"Yeah, we have to be there by eight. Kelly texted yesterday, she said that's when the acting coach is showing up. The goal is to be done with that by nine so that we can start shooting, and hopefully get the footage we need by eleven."

"Is the acting coach male or female?"

"I have no idea. But Kendall, even if it's a woman, you know that means nothing to me. It's just someone teaching me how to do something."

"And that means nothing to you."

"That's what I just said."

Kendall nodded, shampoo in his hair now and his eyes shut tight. "I understand. What are your plans after finishing at the studio?"

"Well, that'll depend on Gustavo. I'm hoping he just lets us go instead of making me work at the recording studio. Here, let me move so you can rinse off. I just need to condition and I'll be done."

Again James' body awoke as they slid against each other. He forcefully ignored it and moved to the back of the tub, then squirted conditioner into his palm. The white creamy substance reminded him of the night before, doubling his determination to get laid.

"When you are finished with Gustavo? Then what?"

"Well, I usually hit the gym and then hang out by the pool. Get dinner with Lucy. I'm hoping Tracy's free tonight, and that she'll forgive me for the way you treated her."

"You wish to apologize to her?"

"Yes, and you're going to, too. You were rude to her, Kendall."

"I was protecting you, James."

James' hands worked through his hair to spread the conditioner around. "I've told you a thousand times, Tracy's not a threat. She's willing and eager to please me and she knows that it's just sex. She's the perfect person to sleep with."

"You wish only to sleep with her?"

James rolled his eyes, reaching past Kendall to rinse off his hands. "No, Kendall, it's a figure of speech. When a guy talks about sleeping with a girl, it means sex."

"Then why would you not use that word?"

"I don't know, I didn't make the rules. Move, I gotta rinse this off."

Kendall obliged. This time his crotch slid across James' thigh, sending light shivers through James at the touch. James cursed his body's reaction; clearly it was going through withdrawals. The sooner he hooked up with Tracy, the better.

"Do I need the conditioner as well?"

"No, you should be fine without it. You won't be on camera or anything. So...go ahead and get out of the shower. Start drying off."

Kendall shifted the curtain aside and stepped out, remembering to stay on the mat so that he didn't drip all over the floor. He said something, but James missed most of it while his head was under the spray.

"—before we leave."

Once free of all suds, James shut off the shower and opened the curtain. "What was that?"

"I can take care of that for you before we leave."

"Take care of...?" James followed Kendall's gaze down to his own crotch, where he was sporting a semi. Fuck Kendall for even noticing that, he'd been trying so hard to ignore it. "Don't worry about it. I already told you, that's never happening again. And stop bringing it up. We don't talk about it either, remember?"

"Because it meant nothing," Kendall confirmed. "It was simply a teaching exercise."

Technically that hadn't been the case when it was Kendall jacking him off, but if that's how Kendall needed to think of it... "Exactly. And now that you understand, I won't need your help anymore because I can get Tracy over tonight. Or maybe I'll get lucky by the pool with someone else."

James missed the frown on Kendall's face because he was rubbing a towel over his own.

"James, nothing has changed. Females are still not allowed in your apartment. I allow Lucy because you explained that she's merely a friend, but I'm still not comfortable with it. You may apologize to Tracy, but you will do so in a public setting. Or perhaps you can just use your phone to send a message. Yes, that's safer."

Now mostly dry, James dropped his towel onto the floor. Kendall had of course hung his back up neatly on the rack. "Excuse me? What the hell are you talking about? You get it now, right? About sex? And why it's so important? You experienced it last night, you were insane when you came, you know how good it feels."

"You said that isn't sex."

"I...okay, but the feeling. The feeling you get at the end, Kendall. And how amazing it felt the whole time. Remember when I touched you and you understood why it's so addicting?"

"That was merely a teaching exercise. You said so yourself."

"Right, an exercise to show you why sex is so incredible! You loved it, you were fucking screaming my name, I know you understand now why I have to have it! That was the whole point! I need it!"

"I can provide it for you. Is that not why you taught me last night? So that I'm better able to help you?"

"No! How many times do I have to say it, asshole?! You're never touching me again! That was a mistake! I wanted you to know how it feels so you'll let me have sex with a girl! How can you deny me that after everything you experienced last night?!"

Kendall was quiet as he stared back into James' eyes, where tears were starting to collect.

"Why are you making my life such hell?" James croaked, at his breaking point. "I just want to live a normal life."

Kendall's voice was gentle when he answered. "You are not a normal human, James. Your life is sacred and must be protected at any cost."

"Because if I die, Heaven is destroyed."

"Yes."

"And it doesn't matter that I'm miserable. It doesn't matter that I hate my life because you don't allow me to actually live it." The tears had spilled over now, dripping down his chin and onto the floor.

In an effort to soothe, Kendall reached for James, who fought him and tried to back away. That lasted until the wings came out, and then James was the one reaching for Kendall. Darkness swallowed them up as the feathers moved into place around James. He collapsed against Kendall, sobbing into Kendall's shoulder while being rocked. "I'm sorry that you're unhappy. I wish for the opposite, that I could make you smile always."

"Then let me have sex, Kendall. Please. That's how to make me happy."

"That is the one wish I cannot grant you."

"It's not fair."

"It's the way it has to be. Just for one year, James."

"A year is forever to me. I'm an adult now, this is supposed to be the best year of my life!"

"You must survive it for that to be the case. Love will lead to your death, remember?"

"Sex is not love!"

"But it can be. My boss stressed that to me repeatedly. You are not under any circumstances allowed to be intimate with a woman, because emotional attachment can occur from the act of sex."

"Maybe for someone else, but not me. I'm not looking for love, dammit!"

"Love is looking for you."

Annoyed, James shoved himself away from Kendall. The wings opened to let him go. He brushed hands angrily across his eyes. "That doesn't even make sense. It's stupid. You're stupid, Kendall. Everything you say just sounds stupid."

Kendall's reply didn't come right away. "Then I shall refrain from speaking unless necessary."

"Good. Now move, I have to get ready to go be a failure again."

Kendall allowed James to shove him to the side. He stayed close to James as they dressed, helped James with the tux when asked to, and shook his head when James offered him a smoothie for breakfast.

What he didn't do was speak.

Teleportation worked to get them to Rocque Records, where James was to meet with Kelly and Gustavo for the limo ride over. Probably sensing that James would have zero patience with his fear of automobiles today, Kendall said nothing when told of the plan. James was relieved, because Kendall's sense was right—his patience was thin.

He tried to put aside their fight and the crushing knowledge that he'd really have to go an entire year without sex; the upcoming video shoot was stressful enough on its own. What if the acting coach couldn't get through to him? What if he let everyone down and was sent back home to Minnesota a failure? What if he had to try to explain Kendall to Carlos and Logan? It was too much, all of it was too much to think about, so he didn't. Instead he held on to Kendall's hand and closed his eyes in the stairwell of The Palm Woods. When he opened them, they'd arrived at the stairwell in the building that housed Rocque Records.

James let go of Kendall's hand before going through the door that led to the hallway, and it was a good thing because their path was blocked by a couple saying goodbye via makeout just inside the doorway. The girl's arms were wound around her partner's neck to keep his lips on hers, and his hands cupped her ass in tight blue jeans. They were practically grinding against each other right there for the world to see, and the jealousy that rose in James sent him into another fury. It just wasn't fair! These two could stand in plain sight and grope each other but he wasn't even allowed to hold hands with a girl? It was bullshit, the whole thing was absolute bullshit.

He was about to open the door leading into Rocque when he sensed that Kendall was no longer near. James looked back and found that the angel had stopped halfway there in order to watch the couple in their liplock. His eyes were glued to them as if trying to figure out a complicated puzzle. "Kendall!"

Startled, Kendall jolted and looked over before catching up to James.

"I'm already late, can you not act like a freak for once? Let's just get this over with."

Kendall's nod was answer enough, and together they officially started the day by stepping into the studio.

Again there was no hand-holding during the limo ride to Colossal Studios, but Kendall did sit much closer than necessary. Knowing that it was because Kendall was anxious, James allowed it.

He was surprised to be greeted by not only the video's crew, but also Lucy. She stood near the craft table munching on a bagel, as always looking badass in her black leather jacket. James could practically hear Kendall's annoyance at the sight of her. "What are you doing here?" James asked. "Shouldn't you be in class?"

"I should, but friendship comes first. I thought you might need me." Without having to guess what he wanted, Lucy held out a cup of coffee she'd prepared exactly how he liked it.

"Thanks," he smiled, suddenly grateful to have her support. His own anxiety had returned during the ride over as Gustavo begged him to "Just do a good job, James. It's not hard." As if James hadn't been trying to the first time.

Kendall spoke up. "James does not need you. He has the staff here to help with his needs."

Lucy's glare would've dissolved anyone else. "I'm here as a friend. They can't be that for him."

"I am here to—"

She cut him off. "And neither can you. Be his bodyguard all you want, but that's all you are. What he needs most is a friend."

Kelly approached just then with a smile for Lucy. "I didn't expect to see you today. How'd you get onto the set?"

"They know me around here," she grinned. "I'm always shooting something. Coffee?" With a sweeping gesture, Lucy pointed to the table.

"Not for me, but Gustavo will want some. James, the blonde woman over there in the maroon pants is your coach. Her name's Judy, and Gustavo says she's the best. You can take five minutes to eat something but then head over to hair and make-up. And try not to wrinkle the tux in the meantime. Once you're done with all that, Judy will be waiting."

"I'm not hungry." In fact, he was regretting the smoothie already as his stomach seemed to be revolting against him. Habit had him moving closer to Kendall for support. Kendall's hand came up to settle on his shoulder, and it was enough to steady him.

"You okay?" Lucy frowned, clearly seeing through his attempt to appear normal.

"I'm fine. Just ready to get this done. Kendall, I need to go to the make-up trailer."

Without waiting for further instruction, Kendall steered him in the right direction. James glanced back once to see Lucy and Kelly with their heads together, obviously having a conversation about him.

Whatever. He had too much on his mind to worry about what they might be saying.

Hair and make-up had their way with James, and when he approached Judy nervously, he looked like a million bucks—face perfectly toned, every strand on his head in place. The only thing that didn't mesh was the terror in his hazel eyes. He stopped abruptly so that Kendall would bump against him, then discreetly used a finger hooked under the hem of Kendall's t-shirt to keep the angel close. "H-hi. I'm James."

Judy's smile was warm and her manner soothing. "Hello, James. I'm Judy. Gustavo said you're having some trouble getting into character for the video?"

"Um...yes. I don't know what's wrong with me, I've just always had a hard time with acting."

"Nothing's wrong with you, James. Everyone has their own technique that works for them. We'll find yours. Why don't we go have a seat in that fancy hotel lobby and talk about it?"

James nodded. He let go of Kendall's shirt as he followed Judy toward the furniture they'd brought in for the set, but made sure Kendall was on his heels. Once James was seated, Kendall moved around to the back of the sofa where he could protect James from behind while having a clear view of what faced them. The familiar hand dropped down on him, this time splayed against his neck to spread warmth into the skin, and James let it help him relax.

"You must be the bodyguard Gustavo mentioned."

James' head came up to see Judy staring at Kendall. "Oh. Yeah, sorry, this is Kendall."

She nodded, her short wavy hair scraping back and forth over her collar at the motion. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I find that these sessions work best one-on-one. Would you mind giving us a few minutes to—"

"I don't leave James' side."

Surprised by the abrupt tone, Judy tried for a polite smile. "I appreciate that you have a job to do, but I think James will get more out of my coaching if there aren't any distractions."

"It's fine," James said before Kendall could open his mouth again. "I actually do better with Kendall around. He makes me less nervous."

Though she wasn't entirely convinced, Judy shrugged. "Well, we'll give it a try and see how it goes." Her focus solely on James now, she leaned forward with her elbows resting on her thighs. "Now James, what I want you to do is—"

"Please don't tell me to imagine myself in a James Bond movie. We tried that, it didn't work."

"No, that's not where I was going with that. I want you to tell me what you were thinking as you attempted to film on Saturday."

James' brow shot up. "What I was thinking?"

"Yes. The cameras were on you, the director was giving instruction..."

"Right."

"What was going through your mind?"

"Um. Honestly?" He bit his lip, not wanting to admit the truth.

"Honestly."

When James still hesitated, Kendall squeezed the back of his neck gently. James knew exactly what he was thinking. It is always best to speak the truth.

Damn Kendall and his insistence on truth at all costs. James breathed in deeply before saying, "I was scared. All I kept thinking was 'If I screw this up, they're going to send me back to Minnesota.' But I was really trying. It's not like I was too scared to try, and I kept picturing in my head what I should be doing. Like 'What would James Bond do?', you know?"

Judy was nodding again. "I know what you mean. I'm sure the nerves add to your inability to focus."

"I mean, yeah, but I wasn't distracted or anything. I think I was trying too hard, if anything. And it backfired. I just wanted to make the director happy—to make Gustavo happy."

"Which is understandable. But what's your goal here, James? What do you want out of this video?"

"For it to be successful."

"And what, in your mind, would be a success?"

"Well...if people like it. The goal is to help build my career."

"And that's a lot of pressure."

"Absolutely." As if sensing that James was getting tense again (he could probably feel it under the skin), Kendall rubbed his thumb back and forth across James' neck. It helped.

"See, James, I think your main issue isn't that you lack skill. It's that you're worried about letting everyone down."

"But it isn't just this shoot, I've been that way my whole life with acting. Even back in Minnesota when I was in classes for it."

"And who paid for those classes?"

"What? My mom did."

"How often did you worry that you'd be a failure and let her down, James? That she would be angry if it proved to be a waste of money?"

James opened and closed his mouth soundlessly. Who was this woman to assume she knew him so well? She'd just been introduced to him five minutes earlier.

"Please don't be offended." Judy sat back in the chair to give him space. "My point is only that you put so much pressure on yourself to make everyone else happy that you aren't able to step outside yourself and just...feel the fun of becoming someone else."

"I don't...I mean...I'm not here to have fun. I'm here to do a job."

"If your career isn't fun, then it's not what you should be doing."

It was such a simple statement, but packed a punch. James felt as if he'd actually been punched in the stomach. Was he having fun? He did enjoy singing. He liked the attention he got from others who were impressed that he was making an album with the legendary Gustavo Rocque. He was excited to be here in Hollywood on an actual movie lot and filming a video for a song he'd recorded.

But was Kendall right? Would he sound better without the autotune? Was fame really what he wanted if he wasn't free to go out in public without having to disguise himself?

Hold on, what the hell are you thinking? Of course you want to be recognized, that's the best part of it! Being admired and loved, that's what fame is all about.

"Are you well?"

James jumped, startled by the whisper in his ear. Kendall had bent down in order to speak to him privately. He nodded, then refocused on Judy and what she'd said. "It is fun. I'm doing what I love. It's just...right now I'm doing what someone else wants me to do. Not what I had in mind."

"I think you should tell Gustavo how you feel about that, for the future."

Kendall chimed in, now standing at full height. "I plan to. We will have that discussion before the day's end."

James held back the urge to roll his eyes. "Thanks, Kendall, but that doesn't help me right this second. I still have to make it through the shoot. Any ideas, Judy?"

"Yes, actually." She smiled widely, and it transformed her face so that she looked half her age. "When you were younger, did you have friends you'd play with? You know, cops and robbers, that sort of thing?"

"Oh. Um...yeah, actually. My buddies back home. We'd play dumb games like that all the time. It was fun."

"Exactly. That's what you need, is to bring the fun back. So here's what I want you to try today. Gustavo will give you direction. The director will do the same. They'll tell you exactly what you should do and how."

"Don't remind me," James groaned.

"This time, ignore it. Pretend to go along with it. But the second they yell 'Action!' I want you to forget all of that. Instead, you're going to imagine...give me a name. One of your friends."

"Carlos?"

"Imagine you and Carlos are playing cops and robbers. He's the robber. You're the cop. And you have to hunt him down through those hallways. Remember how you felt as a kid, how serious that game was to you back then. It was your job to take him down, right?"

"Always," James laughed, joy filling him as he thought back to his childhood. "He always wanted to be the cop, but we never let him because he would go overboard and use his dad's handcuffs. And he'd lose the key every time, then we'd get in trouble when we had to tell his dad."

Judy chuckled. "That's what I want you to think about when you're filming today. You have a toy gun and a set that was created just for you to chase Carlos. Put yourself back into that mindset and see what happens. Can you do that?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I can totally do that. Wow. Thanks, Judy. If this works, I owe you lunch."

"You owe me nothing; it's what I do." She stood up.

"Wait, are you leaving? What if it doesn't work?"

"I'll hang around for a little while, see how it goes. But I don't think you'll need me anymore."

"We can only hope." Feeling a lot more calm about everything, James rose from the couch and spun to face Kendall. Before the question could be asked, he stated softly, "I'm well."

Kendall had nothing to say, but his eyes showed that he was relieved to hear it.

Once the video shoot began, Lucy moved away from the craft table to get a better look. She wasn't able to see James when he went down the halls, but a nearby monitor showed her what was going on. Kendall, of course, could see through walls and had no need of technology. He stood a good six feet away, his gaze moving wherever James did.

"Don't you want to see?" Lucy asked mockingly. "Keep an eye on your precious James?"

"He is fine at the moment."

She studied Kendall, watching his eyes move randomly as he looked around at nothing (at least it seemed so to her). "You're the weirdest person I've ever met."

Kendall had no reply.

With an annoyed sigh, she closed the distance between them so that they were nearly shoulder to shoulder. James appeared again as they reset the equipment for the shot, and he didn't look scared or upset. He actually giggled at something the director said before getting back into place.

"Wow. That acting coach really helped, didn't she? What did she say?"

"Many things."

"Kendall, oh my god, you are the most..." He still didn't look over at her, his focus entirely on James. "Okay, look. I've accepted that you're not going anywhere. Kelly said Brooke said you're here for a year."

Kendall nodded.

"Which means we need to learn to get along, or at least put up with each other, because I'm not going anywhere, either." Again, Kendall said nothing. "Can you at least look at me when I talk to you?"

"James is my concern."

"I get that, but he's fine. You just said so yourself. This sort of overbearing behavior is what's going to drive him away."

"I won't leave him."

"Right, but eventually he's going to get sick of you acting like this and tell his mom he doesn't want you around."

More silence met that statement.

"Why do I even bother talking to you?" she said under her breath. James had moved down into the hallway again and out of sight. Lucy turned to face Kendall. "So...my point here is that I've accepted your presence, whether I like it or not. James isn't plotting how to get rid of you anymore, which means he's accepted it as well. For now. You need to accept mine."

"I've agreed with James that he's allowed to see you. But only you."

"Right, because I'm his best friend. And apparently not the only one."

"That is correct."

Lucy frowned, suddenly wondering, "Have you met the other guys? Probably, since you're James' cousin, right?"

"I know of them."

"And they're...okay? Good guys?"

"They mean him no harm. They miss his presence in their lives."

"Yeah, I would, too. That's what you need to understand, Kendall. I'd never hurt James. He's my friend, and I want the same thing you do. I want him to be happy and to be safe."

For a brief second, Kendall took his eyes off James to look at her. "You speak truth."

"Duh." His gaze was already back on James, who'd come into sight again. "He needs a friend. Having a bodyguard isn't enough by itself."

James suddenly laughed, the sound light and carefree, and Lucy grinned. She caught his eye, gave him a thumbs up, and he returned that before glancing at Kendall, who offered nothing. Once James' focus was called back to the shoot, Lucy returned her own to Kendall.

"What makes a friend?" he suddenly asked.

Surprised by the question, and hearing a hint of longing behind it, Lucy answered honestly. "Time. You've only been here a few days, Kendall. And I know you're his cousin, but I get the feeling you guys weren't close back in Minnesota."

Kendall didn't agree or disagree.

"I'm sure that by the end of the year, he'll consider you a friend. But right now it's too soon. You're literally nothing more than a bodyguard. Lighten up a little bit. Let him have some fun. Just be there for him, but don't smother him. Otherwise that's all you'll ever be—just someone he resents for keeping him from the things he loves."

"But the things he loves will put him in danger. Neither of you seems to understand that."

"Having friends isn't going to hurt him."

"It will if he falls in love."

"Well, he's not gonna fall in love with me. We're past that. He's accepted that I'm...I'm...not interested."

"He has," Kendall confirmed, remembering what James had said about Lucy's romantic preference.

"Right. So...can we just agree to get along? For his sake? At least stop being such a jerk to me. It stresses James out more when we fight."

Watching James walk back toward the lobby with a genuine smile on his face, Kendall considered her words. "I don't wish to make his life difficult."

"Then please, dude. Stop seeing me as the enemy. All I want is to be his friend."

Kendall was back to stony silence, his mind hovering over that last word.