A/N—Hey guys! It's been a really long time since I posted and I apologize for that. There's been a lot going on and with all the stress, my creativity seems to have dried up for the most part. I'm really hoping to get back into writing soon, and this is the first step of that since posting always inspires me to return to the story. So if you're here reading this, thank you for being here! I hope you enjoy this chapter. My plan is to go back to posting weekly, so let's hope that actually happens!

As for the story, the last chapter was James and Kendall discussing the upcoming tour with Lucy and coming to a compromise that would allow James to take part. This picks up right after that.

Once in bed and settled in Kendall's wings, it was impossible not to remember the night before and how amazing Kendall's hand had felt on his...

Stop it. Never think about that again. It was wrong.

If only it hadn't felt so incredibly good, though. Even worse, James knew that all he had to do was say the word and Kendall would eagerly do it again—anything to help James relax and be happy. It was honestly a good thing Kendall had been assigned to him, because the guy was too naive and innocent; another human might've taken advantage of the opportunity and made him some sort of sex slave.

But a whole year of no sex at all? How was James going to survive that? He supposed there would have to be a lot of self-love sessions in the bathroom, and Kendall would know what he was doing so he'd be self-conscious, and thinking it about it all now just depressed him.

"James?"

He knew exactly what would come next: that gentle, warm voice asking if he was well. Was he? No, not at all. But if he admitted that, Kendall would make him talk about it. "I'm fine," he bit out before Kendall could get any further.

"I believe that is a lie."

It was, and yet again, fuck Kendall for being able to just know that. James had always been a fantastic liar outside of Logan, who could usually see right through it, and his mother, who could when she actually paid attention. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I see. Should you change your mind, I am here to listen."

"I know," James sighed, and the offer surprised James by making him feel better. Even if they never talked about it, just having someone here who would listen helped. He snuggled in closer so that his face was in its favorite place—the crook of Kendall's neck. "Goodnight."

"Sleep well, James."

"Thanks." The cocoon of warmth and peace made that much easier now. If he wasn't also turned on at the moment, he'd have no problem sleeping at all. This was really getting to be a problem.

And then James realized he wasn't alone in that issue. He'd shifted in an effort to get more comfortable, and his thigh grazed Kendall's crotch. Through the boxers, James could feel that Kendall was hard as well. And now that he focused in on it, James felt it—there was a tightness to Kendall's body, a sense of restraint. He was fighting the urge, too.

Well, fuck. That makes it twice as hard to ignore it.

"Kendall?"

"Yes?"

"What are you thinking about?"

Kendall's hesitation spoke louder than his words. "You should sleep, James."

"That's the second time you've tried to distract me with sleep. What's going on?"

"Sleep is necessary. You will perform better for Gustavo tomorrow if you have a restful sleep. Especially since you did not last night."

"What are you thinking about?" he asked again.

"You will not be happy with my answer."

"I don't care. Just tell me."

"I do not wish to make you angry."

"Kendall, I won't be mad. If you're thinking about sex, I—"

"I am not."

That threw James, because he'd been positive that was the issue, but when Kendall spoke he was telling the truth. "Turn on your light."

"Pardon?"

"The wing light. Turn it on so I can see your face."

James blinked against the brightness, dim though it was. He waited until his eyes adjusted and then looked into Kendall's gaze. "Is it about the tour?"

"No."

What the hell else could Kendall be thinking about that would piss James off? "Will you please just talk to me?"

"We are conversing presently."

"Oh my god, stop being so you and just fucking tell me what's on your mind!"

Kendall looked scared, whether from James' outburst or from the fear James wouldn't like what he had to say. He kept avoiding James' stare. James tried a calmer tone, reaching out to caress Kendall's upper arm soothingly. "Talk to me."

Fear turned to embarrassment, or perhaps shame. Kendall closed his eyes and admitted softly, "It is the lips. The kissing. My mind will not stop returning to it; my curiosity is too great. I should not be so concerned with it, but I cannot stop wondering what it feels like."

It was as if someone had punched James in the gut, though not hard; it was more a sense of dread that hit him, and perhaps a bit of shock as well. How was Kendall still fixated on this? A kiss was really not a big deal, James had made that clear. The dread came from the fact that James knew Kendall wasn't going to move on from this until he'd experienced it. And the simple solution was one James didn't want to face.

Kendall's eyes were open now. "Are you angry with me?" he murmured. "You are not happy, I feel it in your aura. You are...annoyed."

"I'm just...I'm trying to understand. I thought we talked about this and you get it, that kissing isn't all that amazing."

"I know what you said, and I should be satisfied with that. I don't know why my mind will not let the idea go."

James sighed heavily, knowing what he had to do. "Okay, just...turn off the light." It went out immediately. He reached up to tilt Kendall's face toward his. "We're gonna do this, okay?"

Though James couldn't see Kendall's face, he could feel that the angel was stunned. "You are going to kiss me?"

"Just once. I know what it's like when you can't stop thinking about something and wondering. I need you focused on me, so we're gonna do this and then you'll see it's no big deal and forget about it, and we can move on. All right?"

"Yes. I understand. Thank you, James." Excitement was pouring off of Kendall.

"Dude, really, you're in for a huge disappointment. It's literally just the touching of lips."

"The couple this morning used their tongues as well."

"Yeah, we're not doing that. This is weird enough already. I don't kiss dudes. And remember, anything that happens in this bed is to never be repeated. Not to anyone. You understand?"

"Repeated?"

"You can't tell anyone, Kendall. That's what I'm trying to say."

"Ah. I see."

"Okay. Fine. Just fucking...let's just get this over with. Close your mouth."

"It was closed. It is not now because I am speaking, but—"

"Kendall, just shut up for five seconds."

Kendall did. He was wound up tight in anticipation. It was almost cute. But he would soon be disappointed by the lack of...whatever he thought kissing might feel like. It was nothing to James. "Close your eyes."

"Why? Then I cannot see you."

"Trust me, you don't want your eyes open when we kiss. It's weird." James waited a few seconds. "Are they closed?"

"Yes."

"And your mouth?"

"It will be when I finish speaking this sentence."

"Okay. So..." Now that the moment was upon him, James hesitated. His stomach tensed up with nerves, which was all kinds of weird. It was a fucking kiss. Why was he nervous? "Just remember that it's not me, okay? I'm a great kisser, I've been told that. So when you're disappointed, it's not because I'm a bad kisser."

"I understand."

"Good." Should he go for a quick smack of lips? No, Kendall deserved the full experience. There would definitely be no tongue, but he should at least feel the movement of lips together. In the dark, James used his thumb to find Kendall's mouth. Kendall inhaled softly at the touch. Jesus, he is so wound up right now. Trying to keep in mind that for Kendall this was a huge deal, James attempted to make it good for him. He pulled Kendall's face closer and tilted his own head for a better fit, then pressed their mouths together.

When their lips met, it was James who gasped in shock. The night before, Kendall's hand had filled him with so much warmth that it was like the inside of his body was on fire—pleasure that was completely overwhelming in its intensity in a way that had James reaching climax in mere moments. This was similar to that, but not so overpowering that he couldn't handle it. The warmth traveled from his lips down, filling his body with pleasure in a muted version that overtook him in soothing waves rather than the tsunami from the night before. His hand slid up into Kendall's hair, tangling there to keep Kendall from moving away as he shifted their faces for a deeper kiss.

Kendall's arms had already been around James, but they tightened now as if he too needed to keep James close. The wings caressed James' bare shoulders as they folded in, sending pulses of electricity through him that made him shiver. He gasped again, this time his mouth opening wide with it, and his tongue brushed against Kendall's lips. Kendall made a soft, whimpering noise that was the complete opposite of the violent need he seemed to be feeling, and before James knew it Kendall's tongue was in his mouth.

The taste was exquisite. James sank into it, exploring Kendall's mouth before Kendall rolled them over so that he could dive deeper into James'. The wings were everywhere now, touching James' skin at all points beneath him, and each movement brought forth another wave of warmth. James rolled his hips up, needing friction, and that pushed Kendall past some invisible barrier that had been holding him back. With a cry of need that went straight into James' mouth, Kendall started thrusting against him with abandon. James had the brief thought that this wasn't supposed to happen again, but then it was gone as his own desire took over and he met each thrust while their mouths attempted to devour each other in a deep-seated hunger that came from a place of primal need.

James came first, in a flash of ecstasy that hit him hard enough to blind him for five seconds before he could function again. He yelled through it, something he'd never admit to anyone in a million years, and was trembling as he came down. Kendall let himself go in silence, mouth fused to James', and broke the contact only to pant as he drew in deep breaths. James held him tight around the waist, letting Kendall return to a place of calm while he did the same. He was shaken, though, and wondered how a simple kiss had turned into all that. That was literally his only intention, to show Kendall what a kiss felt like. Yet he'd learned something as well, because a kiss had never felt like that before.

"Are you well, James?" Kendall whispered, still trying to catch his breath.

"Yeah." James moved to push Kendall's bangs out of his face, more a gesture of comfort than anything else. "You okay?"

"I am...I do not know of words that will explain what I am feeling."

James couldn't help but grin. "You've said that before. I leave you speechless."

"Sometimes, yes." Kendall chuckled. "I do not quite understand what just occurred."

"You're not alone in that, buddy."

"No?"

"Nope." James let out a breath that tickled Kendall's hair. "I swear I only planned to kiss you."

"Forgive me. I believe it was me who pushed for more. I did not intend to, a feeling came over me that—"

"It's fine, Kendall. I certainly didn't fight it." But why hadn't he? He'd been so adamant that nothing of a sexual nature would ever happen between them again, but the second Kendall turned on even a hint of aggression, James was like a whore for it. It flipped a switch in him as well.

"You are not angry. I would expect you to be, since you did not wish me to pleasure you again."

"Pleasure me," James murmured with a roll of his eyes. "You're so ridiculous." Realizing that might be taken as an insult, James quickly backtracked. "Not in a bad way. I just mean the words you use. They're..."

"Inappropriate?"

"Weird. I know what you mean, though. I should be angry. Maybe I just don't have the energy to be. You wore me out, buddy."

James could practically see Kendall's confusion. "Wore you out? But we are indoors, and you are not clothing."

He couldn't even be annoyed, that was how pleasantly relaxed James felt at the moment. "Ridiculous," he said again, and before he could think about it, he lifted his lips to Kendall's. This kiss was gentle. Surprised, Kendall let it happen rather than attempt to return it.

"Why did you do that?"

"I have no idea," James answered honestly. "Kisses are boring."

"I do not believe you mean that. Yet when you said that before, you were not lying."

"No. I meant it."

"You did not seem bored when you kissed me."

Nope, he'd been the furthest from bored it was possible to be. What the fuck was that? His mind still in a hazy languor, James decided not to pursue the question tonight. "We need to clean up."

"Ah, yes."

Kendall snapped his fingers and the discomfort of the mess inside James' boxers disappeared. He'd never been more grateful to not have to move. "You could've done that all along? To clean us? Why didn't you last night?"

"You did not ask me to. Do you wish to sleep now?"

"Yes. I think I'd really like that."

"You are tired, your aura is growing dimmer. And yet...there is a glow about it that is new."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"I am not sure. It is faint. I wonder if I should be concerned."

"Nothing I'm feeling right now is cause for concern. Trust me. I'm extremely relaxed."

"That is good." Kendall shifted onto his back, taking James with him. James snuggled into his usual comfortable position and sighed.

"You know, tomorrow I'm going to freak out over this."

"I will be ready."

"Just know that...no matter how mad I am when I can think straight again, I enjoyed this. Thank you, Kendall. I needed it."

Kendall smiled and pressed a kiss to James' forehead. "I know you did."

James fell asleep with his own lips stretched into a smile. There would be time to overreact tomorrow.

James came awake slowly, nestled in a cocoon of warmth as he had been for close to a week now. No, his mind threw at him, it's only been four days. Today is day five. Why does it feel like a lifetime since Kendall showed up?

It wasn't a bad feeling, though. Just...strange. Different from what he normally felt.

Kendall's body tensed around him. James wasn't sure what that was about, probably some lame imagined threat, but it didn't really matter because he was safe. As long as Kendall was near, he would always be safe.

It was a nice thought. He wasn't willing to think about the fact that the safety would eventually disappear when Kendall did—not today. He felt good today, relaxed. Almost...happy, even.

His body was certainly content. Kendall might be all kinds of annoying, but he possessed a power James had never come up against before—the power to completely satisfy James in bed. Though that wasn't completely accurate; it wasn't that James hadn't been satisfied before, only that he'd not known sex could be better than what he'd previously experienced. And they hadn't even had actual sex, but merely a hand-job. And a little rubbing together while clothed.

Yet even that had sent him to another planet in terms of ecstasy. What was it Kendall had said?

"It is like the cosmos is forming inside my body!"

James giggled now, softly, because Kendall was so damn weird. He wasn't wrong, though. When Kendall touched him, that's exactly how he felt. It was the angel thing. Had to be. Kendall had special powers because he was an angel.

Well, the idea of living through the next year without sex wasn't a happy one, but it could definitely be worse; he could've been assigned an angel who wasn't willing to help him in that area.

Kendall still hadn't said anything. James had been awake for all of maybe two minutes, lost in thought, yet Kendall hadn't spoken or moved. He'd just laid there holding James tight, his body tense.

"What's going on?" James asked quietly, his voice muffled against Kendall's throat.

"Pardon?"

"Why are you so tense?"

"I am trying to understand why you are not. I have waited all night for you to awaken and begin yelling at me."

"Oh. Well...I'm not gonna yell at you."

"Why not?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure."

Kendall relaxed a bit, and James was able to scoot away from him enough to breathe easily.

"I expected you to be upset about our encounter last night."

"So did I."

There was a hesitation before Kendall asked, "And you are not?"

"I'm not. I think I've finally accepted that if I can't get sex elsewhere, I might as well get it from you. I mean, if you're offering."

"I will provide whatever you need, James. It is my duty."

"Right. Thanks for the reminder." James frowned, ignoring that the comment bothered him. "I just don't want to like...take advantage of you. You weren't sent here to be my sex slave."

"I am not your slave."

"I know, I'm just saying...don't do things for me that you don't want to. I'm not going to demand things from you. But also, I have needs and I have to get it from somewhere. I'm really conflicted right now. It feels wrong to use you for sex."

"From my understanding of sex, which is minimal, we have not attempted that."

"I guess not actual sex, but...the stuff we have done, it's of a sexual nature. And part of me feels like I'm using you. But you're the one offering, and it's either I take you up on that or I don't get anything at all. Right? Because you're not gonna let me near a girl?"

"That is correct."

"So...I'm just laying here thinking that if it's a choice of you or nothing at all...is it wrong to accept your offer?"

"I do not know the ways of humans as well as you do, James. But I do understand now that you have needs that must be fulfilled. It is too dangerous for you to seek pleasure elsewhere, so it is only natural that I provide that for you."

It all sounded so...formal. Robotic. Like a business transaction or something. Sex wasn't supposed to be like that, it was supposed to be fun. Spontaneous. Exciting!

But hadn't the night before been spontaneous? Hadn't the night before that even? And could James really say that a kiss that started as just that but morphed into the best orgasm he'd ever had in his life wasn't exciting?

It wasn't sex, not technically. It certainly wasn't with a girl. But it was the closest he'd get to those things for the next year. Kendall got pleasure out of it, too. And who knew what his next assignment would be like? This might be Kendall's only chance to experiment with sex, to know what he was missing.

That made the decision for him—it wasn't just for his own enjoyment, but for Kendall's as well. There was nothing wrong with this. He just had to make sure nobody ever found out about it, that was all. "You're right," he said now. "It makes sense. Just...tell me the truth."

"Always, James."

"Do you enjoy it? Like when we...you know. Touch each other? You seem to, but it's hard to know for sure. Because if you don't like it, I wouldn't want to—"

"Yes, James. I quite enjoyed the experience of a kiss."

"Well, Kendall, a kiss isn't always like that. Usually it's just lips touching. We took it to a whole other level past that."

"And I enjoyed that as well. I'm concerned by my own behavior, though."

"In what way?"

"I feel that I was aggressive with you. I attempted to restrain myself, there were sensations growing inside me that were difficult to control, and from the moment our mouths touched I felt the urge to let my control snap. My hands, they wished to know every part of you intimately. My mouth wanted the same. Every brush of my wings against your skin sent more sensation through me. I felt as if I could not quench the fire inside my body, that I would incinerate from it."

James was feeling a bit of that right now. The wings were suddenly too hot, he couldn't breathe. He pressed against them until Kendall parted them, and cool air rushed at him to form goosebumps all over.

"James? Are you well? Your aura—"

"I'm fine. Just...give me a second. Actually..." What he needed was to get away from Kendall. Something in him was screaming, telling him to run. He was slipping into a panic attack and had no idea why. Without looking back, James hopped up from the bed and ran to the bathroom, where he shut the door hard and closed his eyes while leaning against it.

Deep breaths. Just take deep breaths.

"James?" Kendall was just outside the door.

"I'm fine, I just had to pee."

"No, you are having an attack of panic. I feel it. Why are you scared? What danger is near?"

James had no clue.

"Did my words upset you? I apologize if they did, and I promise you that I will not act on those urges again. I will control myself better in the future. Please forgive me."

And now Kendall thought it was his "urges" that had chased James away. That he'd done something wrong by getting turned on. James had spent days trying to explain to Kendall that sexual urges were natural, but here he was feeling like a monster for them.

Fuck. James couldn't let Kendall hate himself for human feelings beyond his control. Calm now, he opened the door to look into Kendall's tortured gaze.

"James, please...I could not bear it if you feared me. I swear that my only intention is to protect you, not to hurt you."

"It's okay," James whispered, pulling Kendall into his arms. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I scared you."

"No, it wasn't that. I'm not sure what it was, but I'm not afraid of you." He hugged Kendall tighter, hating the way Kendall's body trembled. How was it possible that an all-powerful being could be scared of anything? "It's natural to feel what you did last night. There's nothing wrong with it."

"I was aggressive with you. You told me you did not wish to touch tongues in our kiss but I did it anyway, I could not help it when I tasted yours. I wanted more. I should not have—"

"Kendall, I wasn't exactly fighting it, okay? I admit I didn't expect we would kiss like that, but it happened. I could've stopped you if I wanted to."

Kendall stepped back to look into James' eyes. "Truly? You did not feel forced?"

"No, weirdo," James chuckled. "If I did, I would've said something. You would've stopped if I had, right?"

"Yes. I would have stopped immediately."

"And I know that. So in the future, if I ever feel that you're too aggressive, I'll tell you. Okay?"

Kendall looked like he could barely believe what he was hearing. "In the future? You wish to kiss me again?"

"Oh, well...I don't know about kissing. But we just talked about the fact that I have needs and you're willing to help with that, so...as long as you enjoy it, too, there's no harm in it. Right?"

"I agree. There's no harm. But why would you like us to not kiss again? You seemed to enjoy that. You even kissed me by choice afterward."

Had he? James was having a hard time thinking straight; the night before was kind of a blur; he mostly remembered sensation and overwhelming pleasure. He licked his lips now. "Kissing isn't my thing. We talked about that."

"Yes. I was curious as to why."

One of James' brows shot up. "I thought curiosity was a sin among your kind."

"Oh. Well." Kendall's face went red. "That mostly applies to curiosity regarding our human lives."

"Right," James smirked. "Look, if it's that important to you, we can kiss. Just don't expect me to enjoy it as much as you do."

"I understand. And for that reason, I will not expect it at all. Just let me know what you need at all times."

Time.

The word set off an alarm in James' head. "Oh shit. Kendall, what time is it?"

"It is currently 7:55 A.M."

"Shit! I'm supposed to be there at eight! Why the fuck didn't you wake me up?!"

"You did not ask me to, James."

No, he hadn't. His brain had been a mess from the volcano that erupted from a simple kiss. Once again, he was going to be late to the studio. Kelly would panic. Gustavo would yell.

And Kendall would be right there to put Gustavo in his place.

Feeling much less stressed about the whole thing, James texted Kelly an apology and hopped into the shower.

Kendall, as always, stood watch.