Epilogue

So here we are, at the request of a reader, here's finally the last chapter. I still can't believe this is actually done. It has been an incredible journey, I'm really happy with how the fic turned out overall, probably one of the most challenging storylines for me to write, but still an absolute favourite project of mine.

Anyway, I'll let you go and read, I hope you're gonna like this little wrap-up, and for the last time: Enjoy the chapter, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

~oOo~oOo~oOo~

Sam came back and nothing really changed.

They fell back into the routine they'd lived in before...things happened, only with more touching.

A lot more touching.

Cas loved it. Despite talking to Dean and how he'd assured Cas that he didn't want to hide in front of Sam or anyone else, Cas knew his beloved well enough to be aware that it might be easier said than done. He was delighted to find that Dean seemed as affectionate in front of Sam as he'd been in the previous months they'd spent alone at the bunker.

He handed Cas his favourite coffee mug in the morning, hands touching and soft smiles on their lips. He sat next to Cas at breakfast, close enough that their thighs and shoulders would be bumping with every movement. He threw an arm around Cas during movie night, pulling him into his side until Cas was cuddled against him. He'd still call Cas man and buddy and dude, but then he'd call him sunshine, sweetheart and honeybee, and Cas would call him Dean and my love, because to Cas, those two had always been the same. He'd lean down and press soft kisses to Cas' temple, his cheek, even his lips, whenever he felt like it. And if he happened to feel like it exceptionally often, well, Cas wouldn't be the one to complain.

Cas himself didn't push, but he didn't hold back either, and he was content watching Dean rediscover himself, rediscover them, and whenever he saw that Dean didn't reach out, didn't take his hand, didn't link their fingers together in front of strangers, he knew it would just be all the more special whenever he actually did it.

Sam had been nothing but kind and supportive after he came back, estimating the situation like the considerate man Cas knew him to be. By now, the longer he watched Dean and Cas developing a carefree, comfortable routine for this new thing between them, he dared to be bolder, joking about the impressive long-term relationship Dean had been in with his emotional constipation, teasing them about going from insane sexual tension to gross adorableness, complaining that the eye-fucking still hadn't stopped even though he'd needed to get himself a pair of soundproof headphones (evidence that their eyes weren't the only body part involved in that particular act anymore...)

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, practice had turned into reality, and Cas slowly adapted to the thought that maybe this bubble of happiness he'd found himself in lately wouldn't just burst at any moment. Not this time. Perhaps he could actually relax and enjoy this life they were making for themselves.

They were still hunting, he still worried about Dean, Dean worried about him, and Cas could almost have gotten fed up with the way he was fussing over him now that he could just do so, but it was simply too adorable to behold to actually consider making him stop. There would always be new monsters around, new apocalypses to prevent, Cas knew, and perhaps they wouldn't get out of the life for a long time to come, but perhaps they would eventually. Cas dearly hoped so. He could just picture it, a nice country house in the middle of nowhere, white picket fence and all the apple-piey things Dean always denied he wanted, and him and Dean, cooking together, reading to each other, going for walks as the sun set, falling asleep in each other's arms, in their own bed, in their own home.

It was still a dream, but Cas had never felt closer to it than he did now. They still had a long way to go, but they'd taken the right road. They'd even talked about getting a dog and were planning that beach vacation Dean had always wanted to take him on.

For now, Dean and Cas would stay behind from hunts more often, letting Sam handle it when he could or having him team up with their friends. They'd go for walks and sit at the nearby lake and watch as the sun rolled over the sky while Dean groomed his wings and pressed kisses to the sun-warmed skin of Cas' neck, down between his shoulder blades, tracing the lines of slowly fading scars with his lips. They'd never vanish completely, would never allow his grace to return to its full force, but Cas didn't care anymore. He had all he needed right here.

And the best of all, Dean had not moved out of his room. On the contrary, he'd permanently moved all of his stuff there, gradually, just leaving things there as if Cas wouldn't notice it that way, as if Cas would ever have said no if he asked. But Cas didn't comment on it when he spotted another one of Dean's books residing on his shelf, another one of his flannels next to Cas' shirts in the drawer. He just let it happen, enjoyed the warm pulsing in his chest every time he found something new, even let Dean buy a new memory foam mattress for his bed -because it was their bed now, and Dean insisted, and Cas would have given Dean anything he asked anyway- and one day he suddenly realized it was all there.

He just looked around and there were Dean's things strewn all over the place, between Cas' books on his shelves and on the floor and in the bathroom he used, in his cupboard and lying over the chair in the corner of the room and even under the bed. Everything was scattered between the few possessions Cas had found worth keeping, and the picture of the two of them mixing and coming together in a symphony of beautiful chaos had Cas' eyes watering.

Cas had never owned much of anything, had always looked at the empty spaces in his room as something lonely and lost, but maybe it had just been potential, places waiting to be filled, waiting for Dean to occupy them and make them home.

~oOo~

One of those nights, when the world had long gone dark and quiet, the bunker settled down and Dean had fallen asleep with Cas wrapped around him, he woke up to Cas' lips ghosting over his temple and down his cheek. Of course the bunker had no windows, and yet he could tell that it was still way too early, and that he should be grumpy and tired, but there was only a single thought forming in Dean's head. He just needed to feel Cas' mouth on his, so he whispered kiss me and heard Cas hum contently before continuing his trail across Dean's face before pressing their lips together, and Dean couldn't help but think that he'd finally arrived where he belonged.

"Can you ever be happy again, Cas?", it suddenly tumbled from Dean's lips, just as Cas had settled down into his embrace again, surprising them both. He wasn't quite sure where it had come from, and now of all times, when it had gone so well for once, when it felt like neither of them had ever been happier, at least Cas had seemed happy to him-

"Do you think-" Do you think I could make you happy? Can I be enough?

Cas stirred where he lay draped over his chest, his head lifting.

"You know..." Cas shifted, forearms resting on Dean's chest so he could look at Dean's face. "What I found is that...you can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy", Cas said thoughtfully. "It will always be hard. And that's fine. Yes, our road has been bumpy and twisted and broken but..it still led us here."

Cas smiled, a shy thing somehow, with just a bit of a smirk curling one corner of his mouth.

"And now that I know how it can be..." Cas let his fingers dance over Dean's skin, his thumb stroking the tattoo on his left pectoral. "How it is to feel your touch, to be yours, how to give and receive please from you, how it is to hear you say that you love me..."

His hand stopped, drawing Dean's focus fully to Cas' face, instantly captivated by the warmth and affection shining in his eyes.

"How could I not be happy, Dean?" Cas' smile was breathtaking, literally, the air hitching in Dean's throat. "When this is all I've ever wanted?"

He still didn't get it. Cas said these things all the time. And with so much ease, so much sincerity, they couldn't be anything but the truth. How had he ended up here, with this extraordinary being in his arms, looking at him like...like that?

"And you're sure you're okay?", he heard himself ask like the idiot he was. "With...this, being permanent? Us?"

"Do you really need to ask me that?" Cas lightly shook his head with a smile. "I don't think I've ever been happier than I am right now, at this very moment, Dean."

It's all I want, Dean thought. All I wanna be able to do. To make you happy.

"Really?"

"Yes." Cas soothed a hand through Dean's unruly hair.

"We can't change the past." His angel's mouth twitched. "But do not worry about the future, my love. You make me very happy, Dean", Cas said, as if he knew it was just what Dean needed to hear.

"Why do you think I was so set on overcoming this fear, Dean? Just for this", Cas answered his own question, "...for us. I knew how it was to feel the comfort of hugging you, how I enjoyed and treasured every fleeting brush of hands with you."

As if to underline his words, Cas let his hand wander again, finding one of Dean's, softly playing with his thingers before threading them together.

"And I couldn't bear to lose that. That was what made what happened so impossibly hard to take, you know. Not the pain, not the humiliation. Just the thought that those things might keep me from enjoying your touch again, all the small moments I'd come to love and cherish so much. I couldn't bear that feeling being taken from me, Dean. Or miss out on anything beyond", Cas added with a smile, slightly shrugging his shoulders. "I didn't know if there was even a chance I'd ever get to have you, to really be allowed to love you the way I'd always wished I could...but it didn't matter. I knew I had to at least give myself the certainly that I would be able to take that chance, if it ever presented itself. So here we are."

He lifted their hands to his mouth, pressed a kiss to the back of Dean's.

"And yes, I am more than okay with this being permanent. I've gone on long enough without the gift of your touch, the comfort of our closeness. I know this love has existed a long time before we dared to express it, and I was content, getting to love you from afar, I saw it as a privilege."

Cas' fingers tightened around Dean's, and he was grateful, clinging to Cas' touch like it was the only thing keeping him from being swept away by the wave of emotion that had overcome him listening to Cas' words.

"But nothing compares to experiencing your love the way you've allowed me to these last few weeks", the angel finished, "and to be able to give mine in return, knowing that it will be wanted and welcomed."

"Cas..."

His name left Dean in a breath of air, holy and reverent, suitable for the being in front of him, far beyond wings and grace and celestial origin, due just for Cas and everything he was.

"Kiss me", that same angel asked with a smile, and Dean could do nothing but comply, gently guiding Cas down to bring their lips together in a kiss that conveyed all the things he didn't know how to put into words right now.

"I love you", Dean said as they parted, because that he could say, he was allowed now. "Tired of hearing it yet?"

Cas shook his head, the smile on his lips like the sun warming Dean's skin.

"I love you, too."

"You know I..." Dean stared, waiting for his mind to catch up with his tongue. "I wanted this, too", he finally said, pulling Cas closer for emphasis. "When we...started this, I told you I wanted your body, but I needed- I needed..."

He lightly shook his head to himself, let the smile spread on his face.

"This?" His free hand stroked down Cas' bare back. "Your touch makes me feel alive, cherished, worthy. But what I needed was to be accepted, to be known. I needed to know that I mean something to the one person that I care about like no other", he heard himself say, knew the words to be true as they left his mouth. "I needed to be loved. But not just by anyone. I needed your love, Cas. The love of the one that I...the one I chose."

Cas nodded, eyes damp and shining as he leaned in to press another close-mouthed kiss to Dean's lips. And in that moment, Dean felt like this was what it had always been meant to come down to. For years, this was what he'd felt, every time he looked at Cas, he had known.

Cas was right. Their feelings weren't new, nothing between them was new, it had all been there, sitting and waiting to be released.

Everything had changed. Nothing had changed.

"What are we now?", Cas asked, as if he had read Dean's thoughts.

"We're what we've always been", Dean told him, smiling. "You're my best friend. You're the love of my life. You're mine and I'm yours. The only thing that's changed is that now...now we're-"

He trailed off, lost himself in the smile Cas gifted him back.

"-Free", his angel finished, and yes, Dean thought in awe, a feeling he'd never thought he'd get to have, but here he was.

He nodded.

"Free."

~oOo~

When they finally found and killed Lucifer, it was Dean who rammed the archangel blade into his heart, with a painful twist of his wrist and the words This is for Cas on his lips. He saw the grace flare in his eyes, barely caught a glimpse of wings scorched into the wall as Dean already turned back and crossed the room to gather his angel in his arms, drawing him in to press a soft kiss to his temple.

The road that lay before them was long and bumpy, but it would lead them home.

~oOo~oOo~oOo~

That's it! I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it!

If anyone would be interested in more Destiel stories, I have a finished Finale Fix-It called Happiness Is(n't) in the Having posted on here and might start posting a fic with a jealousy trope (aka Dean drags Cas to a bar to forget about him, Cas gets hit on, jealousy happens and thingsss happen xD) that I'm currently writing and posting on my main Ao3 account, but if anyone would be interested in that on here just let me know!

Thanks for reading everyone, I hope I earned the privilege of your time.