Fictions Mentioned: Doctor Who/Faction Paradox, The Works of Ryukishi07, A Certain Magical Index
Episode 26 - Private Reminiscences
OP Song:
Higurashi - Ayane - Complex image - Sub. Español
Somewhere in a void of empty space, there was the presence of two individuals.
The Lord of Time and the Witch of Miracles.
The Lord of Time was a youthful and handsome looking man in his mid-twenties, with blue-green eyes, wearing an eggplant purple cashmere frock coat that reached mid-thigh with a corduroy collar, wearing it with a burgundy bow tie and braces, dark jeans and a new pair of brown leather boots.
The Witch of Miracles was a young woman with long, steel-blue hair and emotionless purple eyes, wearing black and white gothic lolita dress with a blue ribbon, white socks and black mary jane shoes, with a black cat tail with a blue ribbon tied on it from somewhere to her back.
Both of them were simply sitting on their respective chairs, tasting the tea that they were both enjoying to their heart's content. Just another day when they would once again discuss privately with no one else bothering. No one familiar to them both but their own selves were simply here. Just peace. Just quiet.
It was quite the roundabout routine between the both of them. Private tea meetings between the two for as long as they could remember. Numbers hardly manner when one walks in eternity after all. At some point, there is the inevitably of eternal boredom. And with this boredom comes the purpose of these private tea parties.
Sharing each other's respective secrets and experiences. Having simple conversations that goes on in all of their lives. All of the good and the bad; the pains and sufferings. Yes, peace and quiet, just the way they liked it.
In this case, the Witch of Miracles made the first conversation, sporting a subtle and mysterious, but sad smile of reminiscence.
"Say, my Lord Doctor, may I indulge you with a simple story of long ago?"
The Lord of Time, after tasting the tea from his tea cup, simply answered with a nod of understanding, in a tone that seem sober. "Of course."
And thus comes a tale in connection with the purpose behind the Endless June, the test that was given long ago for Touma Kamijou, the Man Who Passed the Test.
—It was a memory from a long time ago, a time when 'she' was still 'whole'.
In a classroom with daylights coming through the windows, opened due to hot weather and to let the air come through, the wind gently shook the curtains making them float slightly in the air.
The young woman teacher left through the door before closing it behind her.
Taking it as a signal, four teenagers, three girls and one boy, immediately stood up before sticking up their desks together in a rectangular shape, all with smiles on their faces.
Only 'she' wasn't moving, instead she just settled herself to look at them.
Each of them were chatting happily with each other, yet only she, with an unreadable expression on her face, wasn't joining them.
One of them turned around, as if noticing her, before he smiled gently and walked away from the girls and went towards her.
She looked at him and he grinned further, extending his hand towards her and calling 'her' name...
In a dark and black space where only darkness was present, a swarm of golden glowing butterflies danced in the air, forming a rondo, enlightening the space before flying upward. A single and deep female voice was heard, laughing in a wicked manner as she only left the following words before disappearing.
"—See you in the next game."
After those words were uttered, the butterflies disappeared, signaling that the owner of the place, the Golden Witch, just left, leaving only these words as a farewell and a soon to be reunion.
Right after the last butterfly was gone, the place was once again dark before it was suddenly enlightened with blinding white lights as if the light was suddenly switched on by someone, which is impossible since nobody was supposed to be here.
When the lights dissipated a bit and it became more visible, what was inside the space was finally shown.
In a large octagon-shaped room with white walls and multiple large windows on it, composed of multiple layers of cube-shaped tiles in them. Single seat fancy sofas were placed next to each other, forming a circle together. And among one of those seats, a girl was sitting on it, her back resting against a large fluffy and high-quality pillow.
She looked like a girl that had yet crossed 10 years of age, with long straight steel-blue hair in a hime-cut, wearing a black and white Gothic Lolita dress with a blue ribbon, black shoes and long white socks and sipping a cup of tea elegantly. But the most special thing about her was the strange black cat tail ornate with a blue ribbon resting on the side of the sofa.
The girl then took her lips off from the teacup before staring at the brown liquid in it, showing emotionless and empty purple eyes on the reflection as she opened her mouth to speak: "…Sorry, things have gotten more troublesome, but don't worry about it."
Her voice, deep and smooth, didn't fit her childish and youthful appearance, that along with her solemn mannerisms gave her a too mature impression that didn't fit her looks, as if she was an adult in a child's body.
She was none other than the Witch of Miracles, Bernkastel, one of the witches of the Senate and a Voyager who can travel through different Fragments. It was unknown to whom she was speaking to since she was currently alone in the room, with the two other witches who were occupying it currently absent, but despite that she didn't stopped and continued, as if she was certain that someone can listen to her right now, it wasn't just her thinking aloud or anything like that.
"More importantly… things sure got ugly." She muttered as she put the cup containing her favorite 200 yen-cost pack of dried plum tea back onto the saucer after emptying it before carrying it in one hand and raising the other.
When she raised her hand high enough, she snapped her fingers together and after a 'CLICK' sound, the cup's form suddenly dissolved into a ball of light before dissolving in the air, as if it just disappeared by magic.
"I thought I had experienced some particularly gruesome ends in my game with Lambda… but this time… it's exceptionally horrible." Bernkastel put both her arms on the side of the handle on her sofa using them as a support to push herself on her feet and stand up; such an action was more fit for an elder who had reached the peak of their life instead of a young girl who still have youthfulness and vitality, but the void present in her eyes made her more fitting for the former comparison than the latter.
"It isn't as though I don't understand your desire to hug your knees and close your heart. If you meet that kind of end many more times, your heart could be killed without having to wait 100 years." She may intend to speak in a compassionate manner, her voice hardly had any emotion in it, thus making it seem more like an indifferent remark or sarcasm.
"Beato saw through me, so I'll confess. You are now just like I was in the past, when I was imprisoned inside Lambda's world. Shut inside a labyrinth of cruel fate, tormented at the whims of a witch. …I am a witch born from there. …So maybe I'm like an older sister to you. So, I decided that I'd lend you my power."
She walked towards one of the windows before looking at it carefully and then raised her hand and extend it forward, letting slowly her hand sink against the touch of the cold glass and watching what it reflected; a tall man that seemed to be from his late teens to early twenties, he has spiky auburn hair but his face couldn't be seen as he was back facing her.
He was naked, had a chained collar tied around his neck and was hugging his knees while lying, his side on the ground. She didn't need to look at his face to know that he currently had similar empty eyes, like hers.
"However, even compared to my fate… your is… truly brutal. Not only do I sympathize with you, I'm almost brought to tears by your tragic fate." Once again, even if she said such words, in truth no tears were present at the corner of her eyes during the whole Game, neither did her doll-like expression suffer the slightest change.
Her hand slowly moved across the glass, as if she was caressing it, her fingers even though it was touching it, didn't reach the man that was shown through.
"But please, don't lose heart. Don't ever surrender to the likes of Beato. Certainly, that child's game is quite unfair. I took a glimpse of the game board, and the tricks are so mean and cunning, the scenic tricks are filthy to a degree that probably far surpasses that of Lambdadelta's game board. And what's even more frightening is that when that child moves a piece, it's not like she always makes the best possible move."
She closed her eyes as she said those words, recalling all the previous moves on the large chessboard called 'Rokkenjima' they used along with the human 'pieces' called the 'Ushiromiya family', and heaved a small sigh.
"This is where she is very different from Lambda. Lambda always uses an overpowering number of pieces and makes the best possible move, in order to win. But Beato sometimes intentionally eases up when she moves her pieces. This is unfortunate for us, trying to seek out our opponent's strategy by looking at her moves, because it creates a formidable amount of noise in our information. This disorder could be troublesome."
Was this newbie Witch trying to give hope to her victims before snatching it away and replacing it with despair when they are so close to their goal? Was she trying to make the opponent feel overconfident by showing moments of weakness so that they will show a fatal opening? Was she trying to make them stay on guard for the next move and raise their paranoia, thus making them more unstable? Or was she trying to put them through despair and make them give up by showing her overwhelming strength to crush them?
Without doubt, all of these were situations that Bernkastel were terribly familiar with, but it was hard to decide which is which since each new Game has a similar setting, yet absolute differences compared to the former.
"…However, as in chess, a player might be able to create some noise for their opponent with a useless move, but they would still miss out on a more valuable move. In other words, it's not like your opportunities to take advantage of it are zero. Although you may not be able to believe it, this game was also like that …Even though those developments looked so overpowering… there actually were weak points. It looks almost as if she wants us to take advantage of them …Although, I don't know if it's a trap or if she's testing us."
There was too much possibilities that can be taken advantage of or to be wary of, and moreover a Voyager like her was currently nothing but a spectator, she was supporting the detective and was betting on his victory like gambling but she couldn't interact or try to influence the game directly, so the least she could do was to give some vague advices…
Though it wasn't Lambda's case as she was on Beatrice, the Game Master's side. So, she probably already knew everything about the game that Bernkastel didn't and was giving further advices to Beatrice to twist her already complicated game into something more twisted… and neither the Detective or the Witch would be allowed to go unless one of them reached victory first and finished the game by exposing everything out to daylight…
"…" Bernkastel shook her head, making her long bangs move in the air as she once again opened her empty violet eyes and looked straight at the glass, "Anyway, don't surrender. Don't stop thinking. Don't deny any possibility. As long as you continue to hold the will to fight, Beato will not win. Defense is crucial during a witch's battle, you know? Rather than trying to win, try to not lose. …If you lose when you accept her, then you definitely must not accept her. …Making you accept witches. There is no longer any doubt that this is one of Beatrice's victory conditions."
Once you've run out of explainable 'common' theories and that your spirit has given in, it was normal to wish to escape into sweet disillusions that the supernatural was the source of all your problems, this is what Beatrice wanted to make the man… Ushiromiya Battler do. By giving him both mental and physical torture, she would manage to make him lose the will to fight and thus assuring her victory…
'—But such a thing wouldn't happen, because—'
"Now that I've declared myself as your ally, I'll do everything in my power to help you. So, you make an effort, too. If you're still hugging your knees, hurry up and stand back up." This time, Bernkastel's voice held a bit more emotion, her tone was slightly different, and sounded a bit stern. As expected, the man from the other side of the glass didn't answer, she doubted that he could even hear her in his current broken state, and if he did, he probably wouldn't remember much but a vague impression of it.
The light was reflected on the glass, and for a second, it didn't show the reflection of Battler's pitiful state anymore but like a mirror, showed Bernkastel her own face. Bernkastel's hand on the glass quickly tapped against it as if she wanted to grab it but it immediately disappeared when the light moved, leaving only the previous view that it showed earlier.
Bernkastel took off her now cold hand away from the glass before putting that same hand that failed to catch the reflection, on her face, her fingers slowly sliding down her cheek as her eyes widened. It was short but even such a short moment was more than enough, it was as if she didn't see herself in a mirror for a long, long time and she just remembered what kind of face she had.
She closed her eyes and her eyebrows furred a bit into a frown as she put her other hand on her chin, thinking aloud deeply, as if she was trying to remember some distant memories. "…Umm, in times like this, what did I used to say?"
After some more rumbling, "Hmmm… Er…" In what way did she used to cheer up the people of her past again? What words did she use, what action did she take and what face did she make?
And then a silence, her voice sounded hesitant and quiet as she began to speak, "Fi-fight, OH~!"
But then it became loud and cheery, as she held her hand into a fist like a cat paw and closed her eyes, giving a large cute, cat-like teasing smile with slightly blushing cheeks as she made the last sound effect needed, "Mii! NIPAH~!"
…Only silence followed after that. The action that she just performed was although far more fitting for her childish appearance, was unthinkable after all the mature words and mannerisms she just gave, even the solemn atmosphere was replaced by something completely different.
Bernkastel's smile soon crumbled like a sandcastle washed away by a sea wave as she slowly lowered her hand, her bangs covering her eyes, shadowing her expression. "…This is really embarrassing…" Her voice was also back from the high-pitched childish one to a deep and smooth mature one.
"…I went that far for you, so you'd better hurry and get back up." The witch added as she turned away before floating after one jump upward, her form dissipating and dissolving like mist, wishing to avoid the arrival of another witch who could catch her red-handed and be utterly annoyingly excited at questioning her if she were to witness the previous scene.
…In the end, if the man couldn't hear her words nor see her actions, for what sake did the Witch of Miracles still perform them? But even if it's subconsciously, he would somehow manage to remember having encountered her, he would somehow remember that she supported him.
In truth, she would rather him to fully forget this embarrassing display that was like a dark past to her, but by showing him a vulnerable side that was unfit for the cruel witch she was then there is the possibility that she can win him over by making him think she is on his side, she can make him play the role like the proper piece he is to her and keep her from being bored by his reactions.
All of this was just an act, the act for the sake of playing and enjoying the game she has with Lambdadelta, just like a certain sadistic fake nurse who likes to cut people's stomach open in a certain village in the countryside in a world she decided to forget, she would make him believe that she is on his side and perhaps at the end, she would reveal to him all her true intentions, thus betraying him before throwing away, all for the sake of her own amusement.
Battler is already someone quite expressive just by a small nothing, so just the thought of his despairing expression is enough to make her lips twitch slightly.
She used to be on the receiving end and now she is on the giving side, and unlike in the past she would plenty enjoy it this time.
Yes, it was just that.
...There were no other intentions other than that, and certainly no past attachment, certainly not.
Near the end of the 4th game, both Bernkastel and Lambdadelta officially made their appearance in front of a perfectly conscious Battler.
During the 5th game, after Beatrice gave up, Lambdadelta continued the game in her place, Bernkastel added a new piece named 'Furudo Erika' to the game.
At the 6th game, after Beatrice's death, Battler reached the complete understanding of her game and became her successor as the new Game Master.
And mist started to gather itself together at one center before it took a human shape and then dissolved to reveal Bernkastel floating in the air in its place.
She slowly floated down on the ground before glancing in front of her. There was a man wearing a cape sitting on a throne in a chapel fit for a wedding ceremony. The man was none other than Ushiromiya Battler who switched from the Human side to the Witches' of the game, the former detective who became the new player of the Witch side succeeding the position of the late Golden Witch Beatrice as the new Endless Sorcerer.
Yet...
"...Look at how pathetic you've become."
Despite sitting on a throne and wearing a cape befitting for his status as the Territory Lord of this Fragment, his eyes were empty and devoid of light, his mouth barely moving and only muttering incoherent whispers from time to time.
The proud winner of the previous game who managed to steal back victory from both her and Erika was no more, just reduced to a shell of its former self, following the same fate as his Witch predecessor during the previous game when she lost hope.
All of this because of the overconfidence he got from one victory and his wish to settle things in a fair manner. And this was the result he got; his consciousness was sealed and his body invalid, all because of a logic error he caused himself and that was used against him.
"Did you truly expect witches like us to play a game all fair and square? What a naïve boy. Didn't you learn from your lesson at Beato's 3rd game with how she tricked you?" Bernkastel walked towards the man who once humiliated her victory with his unexpected comeback. Though it hurt her pride that Erika lost so quickly, it was good to know that the game she was close to considering as 'boring' was still worthy of some interest.
Still it didn't mean that she wasn't bitter about it. After all, a cat's grudge is known to last over 7 generations. She would never admit it herself, but she was pretty much a sore loser.
"You are trapped in the closed-room you created yourself, without any means to escape, while leaving that chick of a witch you've raised to find a solution to it in your place. A fatal error for the Witch's side, since you seem to be so careful I have never expected you to make one, well it works in my favor so I won't complain about it. In the end, refusing Lambda's help even though she is your guardian may be the reason for your loss."
Lambdadelta is the Witch's, Beatrice's, guardian and Bernkastel is the Detective's, Battler's. Yet when Battler started to take Beatrice's side after the latter dropped as a participant of the game, he made himself the enemy of both Lambdadelta and Bernkastel, who took Erika as the replacement for the role he played up until now: a detective who denies magic.
Even though it was thanks to Lambdadelta that he was allowed to raise up to the rank of sorcerer, and not a temporary title like Bernkastel did with Erika, he still refused her help as a guardian and instead chose to fight against all of them alone, which resulted to Lambdadelta to go to Bernkastel and Erika's side.
He probably was disgusted with the cruelty that Lambdadelta displayed during the previous games when she was Beatrice's guardian and thought of her as untrustworthy due to the particular relationship she showed to have with Bernkastel, probably expecting that the two of them aren't on opposite sides and are instead conspiring together. Well after what happened at the 5th game, no one could blame him for staying on his guard around them and in a way he isn't wrong.
'But this is what caused his downfall. Lambda is quite an experienced and powerful witch, so having her on his side would make exploiting his mistakes far more difficult and yet…' His choice may have been right with how Lambda treated her pieces yet it still led to his downfall.
And once she arrived right in front of him, she stopped and…
"Say…? How does it feel to have all the plans you've carefully prepared go to waste in a single instant? I hope that you understand a bit how we feel now, or rather I should say, serve you right." And with that she kicked the throne forward, making it slowly fall backward due to the disruption of the weight's balance as the throne wasn't fixed on the ground, and Battler who was unmoving on it fell together with his seat.
*CLACK!*
A loud sound resonated through the halls when the throne fell against the ground, Battler's body flew slightly in the air due to the impact before bouncing slightly against the ground and fell still.
There was no trace of pain or anger in his expression, and this slightly set Bernkastel off as she walked once more in front of him. 'It seems that it wasn't enough, huh…?' Such a thought wandered in her mind as she once again closed the distance between them and…
"Uuh…!" This time Battler gave a slight groan of pain as his face distorted into a frown. It's because Bernkastel stepped right on his stomach with all her strength, the heel of her shoe pressing firmly inside it.
"Ufufu… Ahaha…" Bernkastel's lips curled into a smile as her shoulders started to shake, then mirth started to build further and further inside her to the point that she couldn't contain her laughter anymore, "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA—!"
Loud cruel laughter was coming out from her lips, her expression turning into a cruel wide smile distorting into a crescent moon, showing sharp teeths unbefitting for a human, ruining her adorable appearance into something horrifying, more befitting to her title of witch, as she sneered at Battler.
"How does it feel, huh? Tell me, how does it feel? The wedding ceremony with Erika is close, you know? You won't be able to escape, you know? That beloved princess of yours won't be able to save you in time, you know? Or maybe she already gave up? Maybe she already discarded you? If it's so then what would you do? Waiting for someone who will never come, who gave up on you? I bet that you feel frustrated, don't you? I bet you feel desperate, don't you? It is such a shame that I can hardly see the despair in your expression! Everything you carefully crafted for her will be defiled to an unrecoverable state, GYAHAHAHAHA!"
Bernkastel repeated over and again as if she was reciting a mad mantra, each time her voice went an octave higher and her smile more dark and inhumanly hideous, as she repeatedly stepped over and again on Battler's still body, making the man cry in pain each time she did it. She then took off her feet from him and crouched down in front of him as she whispered to him, with a more modest and normal smile than her previous one.
"But you know, even as incompetent you were, you were still my former Piece. I don't mind, as your former master, to show you a last action of kindness. Besides you managed to do an amazing comeback, though frustrating, is worthy of praise, especially since both me and Lambda discarded you, so you can say that it's a one-time only reward, and I don't give them often, you can tell with Erika, right? If you were to give up on Beato, sacrificing her, and then beg for forgiveness by licking my shoes then I shall consider finding a way to get you out of this situation."
"..."
"What do you think? This new version of her possesses none of her past memories, she wouldn't be able to fix that Logic Error you've caused. But it doesn't change the fact that she is the one who made you and your family endure such hellish tortures during the previous games, moreover if it weren't for her Ange would never have to participate and end in minced meat, right?"
"..."
"What do you think? It isn't a bad proposal, right? Right now that girl is willing to follow every one of your commands, why not take that chance to get back at her for everything that has been done to you? Unlike Lambda, I don't enjoy sweets but the taste of revenge is a sweetness that I adore. I'm sure that you'll come to like it too."
This was without doubt, the sweets and attractive whispers of the Devil's proposal, the same that convinced Ange and led to her own end.
"...er…"
"Mm? Did you say something? Sorry but I can barely hear you." Bernkastel pulled Battler by the collar, Closer to her ear, as she lifted his chin and looked into his eyes in order to make out his words properly. And then…
"...Ne...ver… I… will… gi...ve… in…"
"—" Bernkastel's smile fell immediately upon hearing those words.
Battler's empty eyes haven't regained their radiance, his words were barely a whisper and could have easily been blurred by the wind. But Bernkastel has certainly heard them… those words of defiance, even by now, cornered as he is, he still refuses to give up on the hope he grasped.
"...!" Bernkastel's expression hardened as she stood up and pulled Battler through his cape together with her, then she gave him an hard kick in the stomach, breaking his expression into the most painful it has been since the beginning of their interaction as he is now coughing and choking on his saliva while trying to catch his breath.
Then she strangled his neck with her small hand, of course due to their difference in height and builds, she couldn't lift him up fully over the ground as he was still on his knees but it was still enough to hurt him, who couldn't even fight back in his current state. He started to tremble and gasp for hair yet his arms couldn't even move to reach hers.
Bernkastel glared coldly at his pitiful self, "Fine. If it's what you want then don't cry over this lost chance, know that it will never happen again and blame yourself and regret to your heart's content for refusing it. I'll be sure to fully enjoy your despair when you will finally experience your hope being crushed in front of your eyes. Miracle always comes too late and you too will learn that from the hard way."
She then threw him away like how a child would do to an unneeded toy, Battler's body felt back harshly on the ground like a puppet with its strings being cut and remained unmoving except for the few and faint gasps of breaths he was trying to take in.
Bernkastel snorted before walking away from him and then suddenly slowly stopped in her steps, her bangs shadowing her eyes, her lips set in a firm line.
After a pause she turned back onto her heels and ran towards Battler, not like the elegant witch she seemed to be when she walked towards him earlier but more like a little girl running after someone. She crouched down near him once again, not caring about re-adjusting gracefully her skirt like she did previously and stared at him.
"...It left a mark, huh?" She stated as her hand slowly hovered at the place where she stepped on Battler earlier, the visible trace of her shoe was left onto his pristine white suit. She hesitated for a second before brushing softly the dirt on it off.
"..." Battler said nothing, he couldn't even say anything, he couldn't even see this action and he certainly didn't even feel it, so soft it was. But even though his mind wasn't fully here, with most of it being trapped into the locked room, there was a hint of confusion about the difference of treatment by Bernkastel between earlier and now.
After that, Bernkastel moved up again, she stood up and then walked closer to Battler's head, where she could see his head upside-down as she sat down on the ground on her knees. The thought of stepping on or slapping his face this time did cross her mind, but then... after some hesitation she instead took his head in both her hands and softly placed it onto her lap, over the fluffy skirt of her dress which acted like a pillow.
"..."
"..."
Bernkastel looked down at Battler, and Battler looked weakly up at Bernkastel.
Empty gaze met another empty gaze.
There was no silent conversation between the two, it was especially impossible for Battler to even hold a proper conversation in his current state, and yet… he felt like just by exchanging such a gaze with her dazily like this—
"..." Bernkastel softly closed Battler's empty eyes with her hand, resting her palm against his closed eyes for a few moments as she whispered. "...The wedding is still in preparation, you shall be woken up when it's the correct moment, there is still a lot of time so close your eyes and rest instead of browning like a zombie."
Perhaps it was because his will wasn't there, or was it because of the unexpected softness in the usually cruel Bernkastel's voice? Battler's body started to relax onto the girl's lap and then soft breaths started to leak out from his mouth.
Bernkastel then removed her hands from his closed eyes, closed eyes full of black circles, and gently settled it on his head, patting his hair with such a gentleness she didn't even know she was still able of.
Bernkastel glanced around her and then sighed in slight relief. There was no intruder right now, everyone was too busy and engrossed with their preparations for the wedding, especially Erika and Lambdadelta, while Beatrice's or rather, Battler's current furniture couldn't act as they wished while their lord was invalid.
'If Lambda and the others were to see me right now, they would never let it down…' Would they mock her while laughing hysterically for doing an action so unlike her or would they throw a tantrum about how jealous they are? Erika aside, Lambdadelta's affection toward her was versatile as her own bond towards the pink-dressed witch so it was sometimes hard to tell, but that twisted bond suited them the most as both survivors of Hell.
"..."
'...Still what on earth am I doing? This really isn't like me.' She wondered to herself, her expression still blank as ever.
Even if his circumstances were in a way similar to her past self, it wasn't a reason to sympathize with him. Otherwise she would have sympathized with all kinds of other pieces from different Fragments in all the previous game boards she has been. To her they were all just characters from a story, pawns that can easily be thrown away, none of them mattered nor were worthy of care, getting emotionally attached to people like them was Lambda's job.
"...Nnnn…"
Only when Battler gave a pained groan did she realize that she stopped to stroke his head. His face was pale, he was sweating while grinding his teeths and frowning his eyebrows, one would think that he would be under a nightmare if they were to just see him like that but he was actually suffering through his attempts to escape the locked-room.
Even though she should originally be mocking him and making his physical body suffer in order to double the pain, Bernkastel finds herself patting his head once again. Upon feeling the contact of her hand again, Battler's breathing started to calm down and his expression became more peaceful, it looked like a kid getting comforted by his parents after a nightmare.
'...Well I guess that you're still a kid in terms of age.' She could hardly consider herself as young after her thousand of years and Battler, despite being now in the same 'world' as them and losing all his cheerful self after he became Game Master, was only aged 18 years old when he was dragged into all this.
But she was even younger when her tragedy began…
"..." Feeling her mood suddenly sour due to her thoughts digging up unwanted past memories, Bernkastel frowned deeply. Her grip onto Battler's hair hardened, making the man flinch slightly in his sleep. Once she realized her reaction, she let go of his hair and patted it again, just like a cat licking its own wounds to disinfect them.
Was she ashamed of herself for openly showing what she felt on her face despite supposedly having a thousand years of poker face experience? Or was it the irritation because there was still some lingering reaction upon thinking about her past or having it mentioned in front of her like Erika did previously after Lambdadelta fed her some unnecessary information? She didn't know and didn't want to know either, it only served to add more fuel to her growing irritation.
She then glanced at Battler's sleeping face as she started to frown further. 'How dare he show such a relaxed face? Even though I told you to sleep, shouldn't you go against me instead of obeying me now that we're on opposite sides? It's your fault that I'm feeling so irritated, you know?'
She started to pinch his left cheek so hard that it started to stretch and didn't hesitate to plant her nails in his skin while she was doing that. It triggered another pained groan and expression from Battler, just like a baby that had been nudged in his sleep.
'Yeah, you 18 years old baby.' Bernkastel nodded to herself, satisfied with the new title she just bestowed upon him, her bad mood lessening a bit before stopping pulling Battler and instead flicking him on the forehead.
She had been annoyed at him since quite a while ago, wherever it was for his incompetence during the previous games on the Human's side as her piece along with the consequential losses against Lambdadelta she had to suffer because she bet on his victory, about his inability to pick up on the many hints that Beatrice gave him until the very end, and about the fact that he somehow manage to save the day at the very end only, all of these—
"Never I will give in"
"—It's too early to give up! _ _ _ _ -chan!"
—At that moment, Battler's defying figure overlapped with someone else, a person of a past she threw away a long time ago, calling her with a name she discarded.
All of Bernkastel's action stilled completely in this instant, her eyes wide open, her expression frozen as if she just had seen a ghost.
Only Battler laid, his head still on her lap, completely unaware of Bernkastel's reaction and just kept on breathing evenly in his sleep.
No… no, no, no…
The past is behind her now, together with Lambdadelta, she finally managed to emerge from that everlasting Hell she was trapped in, since she finally managed to overcome it, it can never come to haunt her ever again, yes, it was supposed to be the case!
...However, not even Lambda dared to confirm it with her 'certainty'… she didn't know how much it would reassure Bernkastel if she were to do so. Because if she were to wake up from this reality/Paradise where she became a Witch, only to find her back inside a dream/Hell where nothing changed since back then…
Would she be forced to tap her way out from it forever and ever on that typewriter in the Sea of Fragments, just like the Infinite monkey theorem?
Due to the experience she went through, Bernkastel is a particularly cruel witch who finds pleasure in inflicting suffering to others as a retribution. This separated her completely from the pitiful and weak little girl who only kept on throwing the dice again and again in hopes that things would change into her favor. She disliked sweet and happy endings because she wasn't allowed to have one.
That little girl living in that village in the countryside? Perhaps she did. But what about the witch that was cultivated inside her during 100 years of repetition due to selfishness of a stupid guardian god who was too lazy to even take care of dealing with her own mistakes herself and leaving everything to others?
That same God who mercilessly cut her apart from her origin, only because she was hindering her growth as an individual and the correct development of her emotions? Wasn't she 'Her' too? Why wasn't she allowed to receive the same happy ending, the same miracle as she did? Why must she alone be thrown out?
Indeed, when she was still inside her, when that girl and her were still one, she became more emotionless and indifferent towards the fate of her surroundings, but wasn't that normal after a thousand times of repetition? Why must she alone be punished for that fact while everything is that God's fault? After hundred years of repetition, even the things you used to hold dear would become dull to your eyes.
Why aren't the beloved friends who are surrounding that girl even notice the change in her? Why would nobody notice Her? Why can't anybody see her? Even though she fought together with them to defeat fate, why was she the only one left unrewarded while everybody else was happy and smiling?
For doing as she likes, creating things as she likes and then abandoning them when she doesn't need them anymore… Bernkastel now deeply the God she once adored as a mother in a distant past. And the worst is that even now, she can't escape this woman's control. She just knew of her presence, yet she couldn't defy her, as powerless as she was and still is against this God-like entity.
That's why she decided to become stronger, stronger so she wouldn't be compared to that pathetic little girl anymore, so powerful that it would be impossible to connect the two of them together. And for that sake, hope, kindness, compassion, trust and faith… all of these are unneeded. Just like she allowed Erika to take her revenge on Battler, she felt the same, even by now; in the past she was the oppressed, now she is the oppressor.
Just like Lambdadelta said, in order to create the greatest of bullies, you have to give power to a victim shortly after bullying, enough power to overthrow everyone else, this is what made Bernkastel gain so much power.
That's why, it's enough. Everything is more than enough. What's the point of yearning for something you don't need anymore? She is strong and not weak like that little girl is; she doesn't need comrades at her sides, she is fine alone… only Lambda is the exception and that is fine like this. She has been separated from her origin so she doesn't need to be linked to her anymore, even if they share the same appearance they are complete strangers with no longer relation to each other.
This is why she removed the 'Frederica' from her 'Bernkastel'... Which is why anything related to 'FurudeRika' has nothing to do with her! It shouldn't be able to affect her nor hurt her! ...And yet…
'Even though I finally managed to leave the past behind…'
"...Why must you two be so similar…?"
'Why must you remind me of what I wish to forget?'
Bernkastel finally understood what irritated her so much about Battler; wherever it's the appearance or the personality and that stupid naïvity, but even if they look alike, even if they are alike… they were still different. But because of their similarities, it ended up making her dark past resurface and make her lose her cool.
She doesn't want to admit it and she will never admit it, but… Erika hit bullseyes. Even after thousands of years, Bernkastel refused to acknowledge her Hell; which is why she is no Witch of Truth, and the proof is right in front of her.
Ushiromiya Battler, a stranger, is reminding her of a beloved comrade of that little girl.
His presence gave her hope, and his absence gave her despair.
It was only two worlds where he was absent yet it was them among the hundred of others that were the saddest.
'I shouldn't have counted all my attempts… I should just have ignored them like Lambda did.' And because she didn't do so, she ended up broken beyond repair, she shouldn't have worked so hard for the people that abandoned her in the end. It was a game of endurance, she managed to survive, yet she lost too much at the end to even call it a victory.
Bernkastel looked down at Battler's expression, though he was sometimes groaning faintly he still slept peacefully. Right now his 'mind' and 'body' were separated, even if he could sometimes hear what was happening outside, he could not hardly see or feel anything as long as his spirit was still trapped inside that locked-room, in a way his current situation is like a blessing.
Why couldn't she have the same restriction back then? If so then she wouldn't be forced to see and go through each of those repetitions again and again...
Right now she could imagine how desperate he is to try all kinds of ways to escape, maybe he is even trying the crazy ideas about cutting himself into pieces into the sink that she whispered to him on a whim…
'But this is only a question of time.' His determination would surely not last that long and his Chick of a Golden Witch wouldn't save him in time, even if she somehow managed to, he would already be mentally broken by then.
He would give up, stay in a corner while hugging himself and cover his ears with his hands while shutting his eyes firmly closed, refusing to hear nor to see anything… but if he were to continue further then eventually the light would disappear from his eyes… like it did with hers.
"..."
Indeed the hell he would go through cannot even be compared to theirs in terms of length, but the sensation should at least be similar. The only difference is that the little girl she used to be part of eventually gained comrades who would fight together with her… while he was right now all alone in that locked-room, with nobody able to reach out to him.
'...Shouldn't it be fine? To have a new comrade…?'
She doubted that he would still be the same he used to be once he has escaped that hell when everything was too late. Would he laugh with cruelty and punish in a bloody manner that Chick of a Witch who wasn't able to save him before he broke? Would he massacre all his Furniture for not being able to protect their lord? And then he would surely turn towards the perpetrators who trapped him in the first place and make them see hell and would continue until he is satisfied… and after that, what?
Once he got bored of it what would happen? Will he take revenge against the people who broke him first? Would her duo with Lambda eventually become a trio? It may give a breath of fresh air to have a man around in a duo of girls for a change.
The fact of having a new person to share a bit of the Hell they went through was both something unpleasant and to look forward to.
The idea of the expressions of his relatives and surroundings, especially of that Baby Witch who must be still painfully trying to find a way to save him dying in despair upon seeing how their beloved Battler became a completely different person from the one they used to know was indeed quite appealing but...
"...Give up, before you break completely, give up. Sometimes, it's far easier to just close your eyes, shut your ears and stop thinking, stop caring. In this world, if you stop thinking then you die, but death is a far better fate than an eternal repeating Hell. The horror of Logic Errors cannot even be described with words, that's why nobody will blame you if you were to give up by choosing suicide as a way out, at least not me and Lambda. I will not laugh at you for giving up, that's why… stop hoping for a change and rest already, before you become something completely different"
...What was she trying to say to him? She didn't understand herself as words unfitting of her cruel self are coming out of their own from her mouth.
It was something that never occurred to her before, but perhaps something she should have done back then... even though she doesn't regret her outcome. She doesn't regret successfully escaping from that Hell, no matter how unsightly she looked at the end of it, she doesn't regret her changes, no matter how much of a worse person she became, no matter if her past self were to be disgusted with how she became. This would be proof that she overcame her past thus all the trials that had been thrown at her and became a reborn person.
But… after realizing the reason for her irritation towards Ushiromiya Battler, there was just a single question that surfaced in her mind, one that she can't get out of her head no matter how much she tried.
Despite the fact that she stopped caring about them once she decided to give up any relations with her past self, upon seeing Ushiromiya Battler, his figure sometimes comes back to her mind.
The one who united all of them together, inspired them to never give up, to stand back when you fell and continue to fight…
Her savior who miraculously retained memories from another reality and broke them a path through fate with his iron-cladded belief in their bonds…
The hope that shone a row of lights onto the darkness she was trapped in.
...And the one who in the end, failed her ultimately.
"Say… if you were to see the current me… What would you think?" Bernkastel looked up to the ceiling and murmured softly, so quietly that no one would be able to hear her. Though still deep, her voice didn't sound like the wise thousand years old witch but more like the mentally hundred-years old girl she used to be all before that.
"—Keiichi—"
There was no way he could know about her, the two don't have any relations with each other, they never met face-to-face, but just what-if he were to… How would he react?
Would he be angry over all the cruelties she is now committing?
Would he blame himself for being unable to save her?
Would he be disappointed over her giving up?
Would he be sad about the way she ended up becoming?
...Bernkastel didn't know which one it would be… and she doesn't think that she would ever want to know such a thing.
ED Song:
Missing Promise -『Higurashi Sotsu ED』~FULL SONG
Main Protagonist Characters:
The Eleventh Doctor - A: Matt Smith
Lady Frederica Bernkastel - VA: Yukari Tamura
Other Characters:
Rika Furude - VA: Yukari Tamura
Keiichi Maebara - VA: Sōichirō Hoshi
Lord Battler Ushiromiya - VA: Daisuke Ono
Lady Lambdadelta - VA: Fuyuka Ono