A/N: Getting to write a vulnerable Henry was very fun but man… it is emotionally exhausting!
I didn't really have much to do with Henry's new position… he was obviously qualified for it and it's one I definitely support. I'm glad we're meeting in the middle on his desire to save the world. I can work with dictators and fascist leaders but sometimes my fiancé is the hardest one for me to negotiate with.
Just because it's a good compromise, doesn't mean it's painless. I knew Henry would blame himself if anything ever went wrong but what went wrong was even worse than I would have imagined. He's struggling with it and we can't always talk about it when we need to.
His new job has helped us direct conversations at home and having something to focus all of our conversations on means we have less of a chance of keeping the secret hidden.
We've started referring to my pregnancy as 'the secret.' It's the perfect code name! Nearly everyone thinks it's relating to work which directs them in the wrong direction if someone were to ever try to crack it. Plus, it feels much more appropriate than saying 'it.'
We refer to the secret as the baby in moments where we know there's no chance of us being heard. It felt weird saying the baby before it was really confirmed but Blake was a genius and scheduled my appointment for late Friday after the kids left so that everything would be off of every possible radar.
As much as I needed it confirmed, Henry needed it even more. Thursday was extremely rough and I know he stayed up all night watching footage of the suicide bomber. The baby was the perfect reminder that there are still good things in the world.
The appointment went even better than expected. I always knew in the back of my mind that something could be wrong or not go as planned, but everything is perfect.
I had been having symptoms for almost a month so I knew I had to be a couple of months along. I'm nine weeks pregnant, the baby is the size of a cherry, and everything is perfect so far. Almost poetically and very ironically, I'm due on July 4th.
My new doctor recommended a handful of genetic tests due to my age but everything has come back great. She told me to take it easy, avoid stress, drink more water, and cut back slightly on my caffeine, all things I expected. Now instead of throwing up whatever lasted in my stomach overnight, I'll now be throwing up more fruits and vegetables and a prenatal vitamin. Henry and I are going to be aiming for nightly walks and avoiding wine, soft cheeses, and sushi.
We'll also be spending a lot of time on those nightly walks deciding how to tell people around us. We're going to keep it between us for the next few weeks, until I'm safely in my second trimester, but after that we have a lot of very important people to tell.
Eventually I'll be spending a lot more time at doctors appointments and we won't be able to hide that. We both immediately agreed that we wouldn't make a statement or make it public knowledge by our own admission… we'd tell the people who absolutely need to know and anyone else will find out whenever they find out.
We've already gone back and forth on when we should tell the kids. We see the benefit in waiting, but we also see the benefit of protecting them from the hurt if something were to happen. They obviously will find out before anyone else… but maybe we'll keep our secret to ourselves for another week or two.
I was surprised when we got back in the car and Henry couldn't wait to start talking about baby names. He already had an entire list ready to go. For a man who said he always thought he wouldn't have another child… he sure was prepared to have another child.
He was also extremely prepared to move the wedding up. He's googling a lot of things right now… but he's trying! We're taking a bit of a risk and hoping I'll feel better in my second trimester but we will be getting married at the church we picked in Puerto Rico in six weeks!
Henry already took the lead on most of the wedding planning and it actually works out perfectly with Ali and Jason's school schedule to move it up. Now instead of spending the last bit of winter break stuck at home and bouncing between our house and their dad's, they'll be spending it in San Juan… if they're excited about that or not remains to be seen.
I know we have a lot of planning to do but once we tell the kids we've moved up the date, I can actually ask for Stevie and Ali's help. We'll probably tell those that we would have invited about the wedding, but we're keeping it to just us and the kids now. That's what we really wanted anyway.
I thought I remembered how exhausting growing a human was but it's even more exhausting than I ever remembered. I fell asleep on our way back from the appointment, I fell asleep waiting for our take out to be delivered, I even fell asleep in the five minutes that Henry was in the shower.
I should probably get used to being exhausted… I've got at least another 18 years of it.