Chapter VI
"Hey," Jade grinned at Riko, who was just walking down the corridor.
"Hey," Riko responded, in the nervous, sweet way he always reacted to Jade in situations like this.
"Come on," Jade grabbed his arm and pulled him into her quarters.
"Jade, are we…?" Riko's questions were silenced with a kiss. Jade sealed the door as they embraced.
When their lips parted, Riko took a deep breath, "Okay…"
Jade resisted the urge to keep going, maybe move further…
"Alright," Jade took a deep breath, and then decided to say what she was trying to say.
"I've been hoping to tell you something."
"Okay," Riko moved in closer.
"I have an idea on what triggered my...my episode."
"Really?"
"But before I tell you, you need to promise."
"Anything."
"Don't tell anyone else. I'm...not ready for anybody else to hear about it."
"Wait," Riko seemed puzzled, "So you don't want me to tell Bao? Val? Even Emdee? Nobody?"
"Yes."
"So, you're really asking me to keep a secret? Why?"
"I'm...I'm not okay. And you're the only one I'm willing to…" Jade took a deep breath, "You're the only one I can talk to about this."
Riko was silent for a moment.
"Okay, I'll…"
The room suddenly darkened, stranding its occupants in pitch-black darkness. Before Jade could make sense of what was happening, the walls of the room began to close in upon her and Riko.
"Jade," Riko asked nervously, "What's happening…?"
Without warning, Riko was yanked out of her grasp.
"Riko!" Jade ran after him, but quickly slammed into the door. She banged against it as the room continued to tighten around her.
"No! No!" Jade's fear and panic fueled her, and she felt energy bubble up inside of her. She quickly turned it on the door.
The door blew open. Jade ran out into the Wild Nomad's corridor. Only...it wasn't the Nomad.
The corridors were larger and grander, hewn from rock. Through elliptical windows, the sun illuminated the stone tunnels. The cavern was rumbling, as if it was pounded by great fists. Dust rained from the ceiling, and the smell of smoke was heavy in the air.
The Jedi Temple on Atarashi'ie. It was under attack, bombarded from orbit.
Jade ran down the corridor, keeping herself focused on her goal, calling on the Force to track down Riko.
A flood of adrenaline and energy coursed through Jade's body as she ran down the crumbling corridors, dodging debris and rubble as she followed Riko's trail.
Find Riko. Save him.
She eventually found an ornate door. The entrance to the council chamber. She knew that Riko was here, and she summoned the Force to blast it open.
Nothing.
She tried again and again. The door wouldn't budge. Jade felt rage and anger fill her to the brim, a flood of powerful energy coursed through her body. She extended her hand, and lightning burst forth from it.
The lightning ripped into the door, hammering the surface...but it didn't break it.
"No!"
Despite Jade's efforts, there was no way to burst through.
Riko was gone, beyond her reach. And as blasts destroyed the temple and made the tower collapse, Jade fell with the rubble past the cliffs, into the lake.
The fall was surprisingly short. Jade hit the water and sunk beneath it, the currents roiled by falling debris.
Jade sank down, deeper and deeper. Everything grew darker, and yet...clearer. Jade couldn't help but feel the need to swim downward, as if something was there, something at the sea's depths.
She swam even deeper, hoping to find what lay beneath. The murk began to fade away, the water cleared.
You can't keep hiding.
It was the voice that kept appearing in her dreams.
You're starting to break through.
It didn't feel menacing or forceful. It felt...curious, concerned. Jade couldn't quite place it, yet it felt incredibly familiar, as if the answer lay buried behind a door she didn't feel ready to open yet.
Jade saw another person swimming in the depths, a shadowy figure that slowly approached her.
Find yourself, Jade.
The darkness was suddenly illuminated by a pair of bright red eyes, menacingly gleaming with artificial light…
Panting, Jade opened her eyes. She quickly examined her surroundings, running her hands along the firm pitoli-weave of her bunk. Sighing, she lowered her head on her pillow.
"Are you okay, Jade?" Jade turned to find Riko lying down on the floor, tucked within a sleeping bag, concern etched on his features.
"What are you doing here?" Jade asked, more out of curiosity than annoyance.
"I was worried," Riko explained, "I didn't want you to be alone."
Jade didn't say anything. She wasn't sure whether she should be angry or welcoming or embarrassed or defensive…
"I can go, if that's what you want," Riko said calmly. He began worming his way out of his bag.
"Hey," Jade eventually said, "Don't go. Please."
Riko stopped.
"Mind if I join you in there?" Jade asked.
"Umm…" Riko made that face again. Whenever Jade acted romantically towards him, his ears always turned red and he clasped his hands together.
It was kind of cute.
"Are you sure we can both fit in this?" Riko eventually asked.
"Riko, you're skinnier than me. I'm sure we'll both fit."
Riko didn't answer.
"If it makes you uncomfortable, I'll stay up here…" Jade assured him.
"Oh no, here," Riko slid over.
Jade climbed off her bunk, moved to the floor, and began to snuggle her way into the sleeping bag.
Riko fidgeted as the two worked to make room for them both. Eventually, they squeezed in together.
The bag itself was surprisingly cozy. It was certainly warmer and more comfortable than the bunk.
Jade eagerly cuddled up against Riko, smelling a faint hint of machine oil emanating from his body. He had always been skinny, even scrawny, but in the past two and a half years, he had developed a lean frame, with hints of muscle here and there…
"Hey," Jade whispered, "I'm not going any further."
She could tell that Riko was simultaneously relieved and disappointed, his emotions as jumbled as Jade's.
The two just lay there, cuddling. Jade was tired, but she couldn't fall asleep. As much as she enjoyed Riko's company, Jade didn't feel as safe as she had thought she would. If anything, the thought of being this close was almost...terrifying.
"Can I confess something?" Jade broke the silence.
"Sure," Riko responded. Jade paused for a second, but knew that she couldn't turn back on this.
"I'm really glad you're out of your rut," Jade declared.
"What do you mean?"
"You're more energetic, you take more risks. You just seem more alive," Jade explained, "Even if you still need your girlfriend to point out the obvious."
Riko chuckled. Jade turned to her side and looked him straight in the eye.
"You're more sure of yourself than ever, and…" Jade responded, "I envy that."
"Really?" Riko asked.
"Yes," Jade admitted, "I've been lost for a while."
"I've been there," Riko responded, "After what happened back home, I remember how hurt I was, how I tried to disconnect from everything. I wouldn't have found my way back without you." Riko brushed his left palm against her cheek, his fingers gently brushing the blonde streak in her hair, "You'll get through this, I promise."
Smiling, Jade leaned in and embraced him, closing her eyes.
As Jade lay her head down, she realized something.
No. Riko didn't know what it was like. He had always had his father, and finding him as a goal, a purpose. Even at his lowest point, Riko had always had something to strive for, something to hold on to.
Jade didn't have that. The only loved one she had in her life was Riko, the only passion she still held was the pilot's seat. She was just along for the ride.
Neither of them fell asleep. Both had their fears and anxieties and, despite Jade's best efforts, she couldn't forget hers.